Hero Craftsman 15: Yer such a MUNCHKIN!

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Mmmm... Cheese. It comes in many forms -- cheddar, swiss, american, and - of course - munchkinized characters!

Welcome to Hero Craftsmen #15, where you make a character and get it voted on according to all its facets by our judges, to see who can make the best character!

This time our chosen theme is cheesy munchkins, in honor of April Fool's Day. We've covered the "munchkin" part by providing you tools to build a slightly more powerful character; it's up to you to provide the cheese. How? Well, really, that's entirely up to you. You can whip out some cheesy combination of rules and exploit the heck out of it; you could write up the world's cheesiest stereotypical background; you could be a cheese-maker turned adventurer. Whatever way you want to incorporate "cheese" into your character is fine with us.


The required level for this competition is 13th level, with 150,000gp to spend on magic items and equipment, though no more than 50,000gp can be spent on any one item.

The following section contains the specific rules of the competition, as well as the standards for how the characters will be scored, and general tips to consider when creating a submission.


The Rules
Contest Rules

The following are rules for the Hero Craftsmen competition, and are subject to change at any time between competition periods.

Do note that the Code of Conduct is in effect for all aspects of this contest, and those who break it will be disqualified, and their post will be reported.

Character Creation Parameters
Effective Character Level (ECL): 13th
Ability Score Generation: 36 pt. buy (DMG p.169)
Character Wealth: 150,000gp
Max. Value of any single item: 50,000gp

1) All entries must be submitted with a complete stat block of any format or length, (so long as the stat block is complete, including content like equipment, skills, special abilities etc.) accompanied by a character background also of any format or length.

2) All entries must be submitted by the date and time given by the Coordinating Judge; any entries submitted late will not be judged but they are still allowed to be commented on by other users/judges, and may provide a valuable resource to other players out there. The time given for any competition is likely to be within 2-3 weeks; the exact times and dates will be stated by the Coordinating Judge during the contest's start.

3) After submitting an entry, a 30-minute grace period is allowed to edit your work, in the case of mechanical or formatting errors, typos, and the like. Editing your work after 30 minutes is considered breaking the rules. Hence, we urge you to revise your entry thoroughly prior to submitting it, to save hassle. Making use of the preview button in the post window will help you catch most errors before posting.

4) One Entry Per Contestant, and that creator must be the submitter (meaning that all work has to be original, and not stolen from someone else.) Also, do not post an entry if you do not want it to be officially judged.

5) At the start of each competition, the coordinating judge will state a single theme around which to base your entry. There are no restrictions based on the character theme itself; it is merely a suggested guideline, but following it in a creative and interesting way will give merit to your entry.

6) There are other restrictions, however. Material in the three core books is allowed. Any material found in the following books is also permitted: Complete Adventurer, Complete Arcane, Complete Divine, Complete Warrior, Complete Mage, Complete Scoundrel, Complete Champion, Magic Item Compendium, Spell Compendium, Tome of Battle: Book of 9 Swords, Complete Psionic, Expanded Psionics Handbook, Races of Stone, Races of Destiny, Races of the Wild, and Races of the Dragon. The use of Psionics, Item Creation rules, Epic Characters, and anything else in the Official SRD is permitted. For this specific contest, no other material may be used, including any variant rules in Unearthed Arcana.

7) Additionally, the character must be created with the wealth parameters discussed above, with average hit points per hit die (eg-2.5hp for d4, 3.5hp for d6, 4.5hp for d8, 5.5hp for d10, 6.5hp for d12; Max hit points at 1st level), using the 36 point-buy system, as discussed in the DMG pg169.

For those who do not have access to the DMG, the following sample arrays of scores have been set up for your convenience:
18, 16, 14, 10, 10, 8
18, 18, 10, 10, 8, 8
16, 16, 12, 12, 12, 12

8) One special rule regarding Crafting: When crafting a magic item from your character, you may pay the 50% gp cost and ignore the XP cost. However, your character must still meet all prerequisites in spells, minimum level requirements, etc., or account for the cost of hiring a spell caster to cast the spells for you.

9) Judges reserve the right to disqualify entries that do not follow the above rules, as they see fit.




Scoring
Scoring

Points will be awarded for how well the judges think the character is made and expanded on. Entries from each of the judges will be added up to give a final score. The highest-scoring entry will win gold, second-highest silver, third-highest bronze.

The judges may also give a single entry each one bonus point for whatever reason; this bonus point is merely to make out an 'honorable mention' of the competition, and is not likely to make an impact on the results themselves. The judges are expected to be very stingy about their bonus point, meaning that it is possible for no entries to get one in a competition.

Special awards will be given to the entry that performs the best in each of the four categories (detailed below), determined by a majority nomination among the judges and/or the highest average score in that category. These awards will have no effect on the total score of each entry.

Additionally, the judges reserve the right to post comments on entries, and any contestant may ask to have their scoring (and/or comments) sent to them via PM.

Each entry will be scored according to four categories: Thematic Creativity (10 points), Background Content (10 marks), Rules Use (10 points), and Clarity (5 points), for a total of 35 points.

-Thematic Creativity is a measure of how well the entry fits with the theme of the contest, decided by the coordinating judge at the start of the competition. It is also a measure of how creative the entry is when fitting in with the theme, meaning that taking the most obvious class for the theme may or may not be the best idea.

-Background Content measures how well-written the background of the entry is, and how creative it is. Including plot points, events that shaped your character, and so on, will earn you high points here.

-Rules Use is based on how well your character is made mechanically, as well as for how well your entry follows the RAW. Is his attack bonus correct? Has she spent all her skill points? Is all the gold in the sheet accounted for? And the like. Powerful characters will earn at least some points in this category.

-Clarity is a measure of how well we can read everything. This includes correct grammar (No leet über txt), and legibility of the entry's stat block. We want to be able to find what we need to judge the entry.




Hints
Hints to Help

This is not a competition to see who can make the most optimized character. It is a competition to find who can create the most creative and interesting character; one that you would love to see played in a gaming group. Of course, optimized characters can still be creative and interesting, but optimization is not the sole focus of the competition.

Please consider your format before submitting an entry. As judges, we want to know exactly where you got that +3 in Tumble, or how you've laid out your ability scores. If we are helped in this endeavor, it reduces the chances of us (as well as you) making mistakes, and points may be earned for Clarity.

For example, you could lay out your modifiers to everything, from AC to Skills to Abilities. If your +3 in Tumble came from 3 ranks, 13 dexterity and a check penalty of -1, point it out to us. If your Strength score of 16 comes from a base of 13, a +2 racial bonus, and a +1 boost at fourth level, point it out to us.

Also, gold is a big hassle, so if you show how much everything costs, it saves us the trouble of going IRS on you.

Consider including a chart or something that shows the complete level build-up of your entry, in case of cross-class skills, stacking class features and other such stuff that would be otherwise difficult for us judges to detect.

Backgrounds are very important in this competition, worth at least 10 points. While your entry's background doesn't have to be literary genius, you are advised to cover at least the basic stuff, like parents, friends, homeland, motivation, behavior, and at least one plot point that a DM can latch onto, such as probable antagonist for your character. In this case, covering most or all of the aspects of a character is more advisable than simply focusing on one or two aspects in great detail.

Don't worry, though, length is usually not an issue for us judges.

The Leadership feat is quite often a wonderful choice. It offers characters a lot of power, and provides for some excellent background exploration. If you opt to give your PC the Leadership feat, we don't need a full stat block for the cohort or followers; all we need is the cohort's name, race, class(es), and level(s). You can provide the same sort of information for important followers. Note that you can provide more information - but doing so only increases your chances of miscalculating something, and therefore lowering your score.

You are allowed to build characters with non-standard races, including Monster Races from the MM. However, please carefully consider this path before attempting it. You are creating a character of the appropriate ECL, and monster races have caused many contestants to stumble over the mathematics involved. Make sure you are prepared to walk this difficult road. It is also very helpful if you list the basic racial stats for such characters.





Our list of Eligible Judges are Doopliss, TheChilliGod, Zherog, jennibert, JasonOrlandoHawk, Heros_Backpack, DarkKitsune, Mercurius, Haruspex, Kit_the_Odd, edwardsobel, Magus888, wrecan, Dragoncat, and Endarrion.

The gold-medal winner of each Hero Craftsmen competition will be added to this list as a prize. Additionally, contestants who win multiple silver and bronze medals can also earn judge status. A contestant who earns 6 points worth of medals will also be added to the eligible judges list as a prize. (Medal point values: Gold: 6, Silver: 3, Bronze: 1.5)

After each competition, we will seek volunteers for the next contest from the list until we have three judges. It is a voluntary thing, so if you (as a recent gold-medal winner) feel uncomfortable with judging, or just don't have the time, that's fine with us.

Our judges for this contest will be jennibert, Endarrion, and Heros_Backpack. Zherog will be serving as a non-judging coordinator.

This contest starts when this post is posted, and is due to end at 11:59pm GMT on Sunday, April 6th, giving you a bit over two weeks to enter your characters.

If you have any concerns or suggestions to consider for the next Hero Craftsman competition, don't hesitate to post your comments in This Thread.

Finally, best of luck to all entries.

John Ling

Lead Pathfinder Developer for Frog God Games

FAQ (and answers, too!)

John Ling

Lead Pathfinder Developer for Frog God Games

John Ling

Lead Pathfinder Developer for Frog God Games

Wow... I did not see this one coming.

I'm not entirely sure I know *how* to make a character that's munchkinny and cheesy enough. I'll have to put on my thinking cap for this one...
Well, we tried to cover the "munchkin" part for everybody with the high point buy, extra cash, and big list of books to be honest. And as I said in the top, how you choose to meet the "cheese" requirement is entirely open-ended.

I've had this idea since April Fool's last year; I'm just glad the judges were interested in it!

John Ling

Lead Pathfinder Developer for Frog God Games

So... are the judges implying that they expect the usual bri... "nice gifts" to include gourmet cheese?
I have a question concerning a Ranger's Favored Enemy:

When I select "Humanoid" as a Favored Enemy, I am required to select a subtype. I was curious if I could select a subtype that appears in the allowed material, but is strangely absent from Ranger's Favored Enemy list. Specifically, can I select Favored Enemy: Humanoid (Shapechanger), since it is a subtype that appears in the Monster Manual?
Let's check the official FAQ, shall we? ;)

Can a ranger take lycanthropes or humanoids (shapechangers) as a favored enemy?

Yes and no. A ranger who takes favored enemy humanoid (human) gets its favored enemy bonus against humanoid lycanthropes that have the human subtype, and a ranger who takes favored enemy giant gets the bonus on lycanthropes that are of that type, and so on, but there is no type or subtype combination available to rangers that encompasses all lycanthropes.

John Ling

Lead Pathfinder Developer for Frog God Games

I have a question concerning a Ranger's Favored Enemy:

When I select "Humanoid" as a Favored Enemy, I am required to select a subtype. I was curious if I could select a subtype that appears in the allowed material, but is strangely absent from Ranger's Favored Enemy list. Specifically, can I select Favored Enemy: Humanoid (Shapechanger), since it is a subtype that appears in the Monster Manual?

Huh. I didn't realize it wasn't in there.

I don't see why that would be a problem.

EDIT: ninja'd by the FAQ. I still don't see a problem taking humanoid (shapechanger) as a favored enemy. That would just mean that it would only count against shapechangers who are also humanoid (elves, dwarves, orcs etc), right?

Oh, and one thing about entries. If anyone creates a grizzled, old veteran warrior who specialized in throwing weapons, specifically spheroid-shaped ones, and who come from "a land of cheese," I'm deducting points. ;)

I wonder if anyone will get the reference.
Hee hee hee. I like the cheesy munchkins. So much fun!

As for Jason's question, I don't really have a problem with it either, but since they have posted an official WOTC answer for it, feel we should probably stick with that. We've been relatively stickler-y about that sort of thing in previous competitions, so we should probably be consistent. (Though, like I said, I'd probably let it slide in a game of my own, as long as the player and I took the time to determine exactly what was and was not included so it didn't get out of hand!)

That said, I'll be out of town for a few days, so if any other questions come up that require judge consensus, I'll put my two cents in on Monday.

Oh, and Go Musketeers! (Sorry, can't help myself;))
Look! I figured out how to change my sig! Am I the only one wondering why "Preferences" aren't part of my Profile?
Yep, I'm in agreement with Jennibert; in my game, I'd allow it. But it seems, based on the FAQ, that the official answer is that it can't be done. We've stuck pretty close to FAQ rulings in the past, so I feel comfortable saying Favored Enemy (shapeshifter) is not permitted within the competition. Sorry, Jason.

John Ling

Lead Pathfinder Developer for Frog God Games

One quick word of advice to contestants, based on some experiences from previous competitions:

Please remember that we expect you to enter a complete character. Imagine that you will go directly from this competition to a table (or play-by-post forum, or whatever) where you will actually be playing the character you submit...and your DM does not look kindly on slowing down scenes or combat because you have to look up how this class ability or that feat affects what you already have. It's not necessary to give full text of feats or items or anything like that, but do at least make sure that everything is accounted for.

I have counted off a lot of points in recent competitions for people who simply did not list things that were important, and I don't enjoy marking down what were otherwise good characters for that reason. So please know what we expect....and that, having given this advice, I will be ruthless if characters are incomplete. :D
Look! I figured out how to change my sig! Am I the only one wondering why "Preferences" aren't part of my Profile?
I'll even be nice and give an example of what Jenni is talking about. Let's say you made a 13th level paladin, with a 22 Charisma. Putting "Lay on hands" and "Smite evil 3/day" on your character sheet is correct. But... with just a few more characters, you can make both entries more useful:

Lay on Hands (78 hp), smite evil 3/day (+6 atk, +13 dmg)

Now you don't need to look those up or remember them; they're right there on your character sheet.

That's the sort of thing Jenni is talking about.

John Ling

Lead Pathfinder Developer for Frog God Games

Oh well, considering my build, Favored Enemy Humanoid (Human) is more useful as combat cheese anyways.
Hmmm, I'm entering.

Expect extraplanar races, gruesome assassinations, deadly venom and... cheddar?

Is the unarmed Swordsage variant official enough for use, or is it excluded much like the Unearthed Arcana material is?
Is the unarmed Swordsage variant official enough for use, or is it excluded much like the Unearthed Arcana material is?

Where's it found?

John Ling

Lead Pathfinder Developer for Frog God Games

Where's it found?

Tome of Battle, p20, under Adaptation.
If it's in the book, then it's valid material to use. Unless there's something I'm not understanding about what it is...

John Ling

Lead Pathfinder Developer for Frog God Games

I have two classes, but the only one fully worked out isn't so much cheesy as weird.
so...since its munchkin themed, we're allowed to grossly bend and misinterpret the rules (both of HC and D&D as a whole), and occasionally outright ignore them, right?


You're always welcome to do that; it just might adversely affect your final score. :P

John Ling

Lead Pathfinder Developer for Frog God Games

One quick word of advice to contestants, based on some experiences from previous competitions:

Please remember that we expect you to enter a complete character. Imagine that you will go directly from this competition to a table (or play-by-post forum, or whatever) where you will actually be playing the character you submit...and your DM does not look kindly on slowing down scenes or combat because you have to look up how this class ability or that feat affects what you already have. It's not necessary to give full text of feats or items or anything like that, but do at least make sure that everything is accounted for.

I have counted off a lot of points in recent competitions for people who simply did not list things that were important, and I don't enjoy marking down what were otherwise good characters for that reason. So please know what we expect....and that, having given this advice, I will be ruthless if characters are incomplete. :D

And for the same reasons, it's a very good idea to buy AND LIST everything you own, including mundane, everyday equipment.

Don't just say 'Mundane stuff, Xgp'. Think whether you'll be able to answer if the DM asks "Do you have any chalk?"?
Competition places
Winner of Hero Craftsmen 3: Gladiator Winner of Master Storyteller Competition 1: Ancient Ruins Gold Medallist in MDMC 38: Populate a map I placed first (that's right, FIRST!) in the second CowCon: "We All get Old" Contest! Gold Medallist in MDMC 42: Create a Remote Location Winner of Master Storyteller Competition 7: I am Legend Best in Category: Rules Use - Hero Craftsman 17 Best in Category: Clarity - Hero Craftsman 17 Second place in Master Storyteller Competition 6: Fall from Grace Silver Medallist in MDMC 32: Magic Item Spectacular Joint Silver in Hero Craftsmen 6: The Frostfell Silver medallist in Hero Craftsman 17: We're going Underground! Silver Medalist in Hero Craftsman 18: We need a Hero! Silver Medalist in Hero Craftsman 20: Back to School
Show
http://drewbaker.com/warlord/images/group9/Durga.jpg Now that's a half-orc! Like Joe Wood? Meet Gwen. http://tinyurl.com/ringofnine
If you think commoners can't do anything, you should meet Joe Wood! The pen is mightier than the sword - but only if the sword is very small and the pen is very sharp - Terry Pratchett Methinks (still) wizards bit off more than they can chew. fantasy-28.gif


You're always welcome to do that; it just might adversely affect your final score. :P

But the theme of this contest encourages it and suggests that the manipulating would be ignored.
How am I supposed to make a cheesy character without the Vows of Poverty and Nonviolence from the Book of Exalted Deeds?! ;)
never mind. Answered my own question
6) There are other restrictions, however. Material in the three core books is allowed. Any material found in the following books is also permitted: Complete Adventurer, Complete Arcane, Complete Divine, Complete Warrior, Complete Mage, Complete Scoundrel, Complete Champion, Magic Item Compendium, Spell Compendium, Tome of Battle: Book of 9 Swords, Complete Psionic, Expanded Psionics Handbook, Races of Stone, Races of Destiny, Races of the Wild, and Races of the Dragon. The use of Psionics, Item Creation rules, Epic Characters, and anything else in the Official SRD is permitted. For this specific contest, no other material may be used, including any variant rules in Unearthed Arcana.

Of course, I'm not any sort of definitive authority.

EDIT: Bad wrecan. Bad.
Arcane casting varient Swordsage anyone? :D

By the way, how would that interact with metamagic feats or classes that advance casting progression?
Captain Kickass McAwesome (Red Marvelous!)

Male star elf wilder 6, thrallherder 7.

5 foot 4, 119 pounds, 76 years old. Lawful good.

Worships justice as a concept.

Size- medium

Looks: In battle, he has a skin tight armoured suit, bright red, with some swirled in bits of white that look like flames. When not in battle gear, he looks like a typical star elf, with reddish hair, and a fairly fit, well rounded build.

stats:
Stre: 14 =14
Dex: 14 =14
Con: 14 -2 (race)+2 item =14
Inte: 8 =8
Wis: 10 +1 (level)+2 (item) =13
Cha: 18 +2 (race) +2 (level) +6 (item)=28



attacks
BAB: 7
Attacks: 7/2
Sword: (acts as +5 longsword)
+14/9, d8+3+5+2d6 (2d6 optional, costs 2 PP) 19-20x2.

Rays: +9 or +10. Lose psionic focus for +2d6.
12, 14 or 16 D6 damage. -12, -14, +12, +14 depending on element.

Grapple: +9 (freedom of movement.)


initiative, saves, speed, HP, AC
Initiative: +2

Speed: 30 feet, fly 40

Saves:
F:7 R:7 W:12

HP:67

AC: 20 (10+ 4 natural, +4 armour, +2 dexterity)
Touch: 20
Flat footed: 18 (will usually have improved uncanny dodge from danger sense.)


Class abilities:

Wild surge+2
Psychic enervation (10%)
Elude touch (+9)
Surging euphoria +1
Volatile mind 1
Thrallherd (Leadership score 9+13+7=29 (capped at 25))
Psionic charm
psionic dominate
Greater dominate (animals, fey, giants, magical beasts, monstrous humanoids.)

Followers: 135 level 1, 13 level 2, 7 level 3, 4 level 4, 2 level 5, 2 level 6.

Psionic powers known (MF level 12)

180 power point reserve

1 Energy ray (fired from a fake looking hand gun apperatus)
1 entangling ectoplasm (fired from same gun. “Marvelous net!” is the display)
2 share pain
Expanded knowledge: mindlink
3 danger sense
4 freedom of movement, psionic
5 adapt body
6 overland flight, psionic


Feats:

Open minded
Inquisitor
Expanded knowledge (mindlink)
Psionic shot
Greater psionic shot


Skills:

PT: 39

Appraise: -1 (int)
Balance: +2 (stat)
Bluff: +9 (stat)
Climb: +2 (stat)
Concentrate: +15, 13 (ranks) +2 (stat)
Craft: -1 (stat)
Decipher script: -1 (stat)
Diplomacy: +13, 4 (ranks) +9 (stat)
Disable device: -1 (stat)
Disguise: +9 (stat)
Escape artist: +2 (stat)
Forgery: -1 (stat)
Gather information: +9 (stat)
Handle animal: +9 (stat)
Heal: +2 (stat)
Hide: +2 (stat)
Intimidate: +9 (stat)
Jump: +7, 5 (ranks) +2 (stat)
Knowledge most: -1 (stat)
Knowledge psionic: +7, +8 (ranks), -1 (stat)
Listen:+4, +2 (stat) +2 (race)
Move silently: +2 (stat)
Open lock: +2 (stat)
Perform dramatic pose: +9 (stat)
Profession: +2 (stat)
Ride: +2 (stat)
Search: -1 (stat)
Sense motive: +2 (stat), increasable to +12 with inquisitor.
Sleight of hand: +2 (stat)
Speak language: common
Spellcraft: -1 (stat)
Spot: +4, +2 (stat) +2 (race)
Survival: +2 (stat)
Swim: +2 (stat)
Tumble: +7, 5 (ranks) +2 (stat)
UMD: +9 (stat) Untrained.
Use rope: +2 (stat)


Items:

+2 wisdom =4000
+2 constitution =4000
+6 charisma =36 000
Psionic skin of the defender =32 000
+5 bracers of armour =25 000
Clay golem = 40 000
+1 psychic deep crystal longsword =6815
+1 cloak of resistance =1000
Travelers clothes =1
Rations (3 days) =1.5
Water (1 week) =4.5
Paper =1
Charcoal =Free from some fires.
Flint and steel =1
Backpack =2
1174 Cash

His psionic skin is bright red, and forms a large, glossy visor for him to see through.


Thralls
His thrall is Sergeant Punchout Rhino, (Marvelous Blue!)
Male star elf, wilder 6, thrallherder 6

Punchout's thrall is Sergeant Headbut Supremacy (Marvelous Yellow!)
Female star elf, wilder 6, thrallherder 5

Supremacy's thrall is Major Uppercut (Marvelous Black!)
Male star elf, wilder 6, thrallherder 4

Uppercut's thrall is Private Knockout Roundkick (Marvelous Pink!)
Female star elf, wilder 6, thrallherder 3

Team Marvelous! has similar equipment to Kickass McAwesome, though cheaper and less powerful versions of each.

Roundkick's thrall is professor Knowington
Grey elf, Cloistered cleric 8.

Professor knowington has paid almost exlusively for expensive master crafted books on every topic there is (skill bonus to lore checks.)


believers
All of the believers are raging fans of the group, which is known as “Team marvelous!” (exclamation mark is a necessary part of spelling.) Raging fans that they are, they won’t go away, and should the team ever be in serious trouble, they will form angry mobs charging into the thick of things. Of course, their normal mode is to be a mob that follows Team Marvelous! anyways, so the difference is rather small.

Raging fans can band together to use the Marvelous Beam! which is a magic missile that every last one of them cooperates to cast together. (cooperative spell metamagic) Typical raging fans are wizards, high int, low charisma geeks, who typically spent all of their wealth on Team Marvelous! memorabilia. The rest are screaming fangirl sorceresses that are similar in almost every way. Some are in fact, cat girls. (the level 2 believers are catfolk sorceress 1.)

There are approximately 815 believers, with about equal numbers of fans for each member of Team Marvelous! They get along because each of the Team Marvelous members tells them to play nicely and get along (as well as any other social commentary that may come up.) There collective wealth was donated to the other members of the team to help pay for their clay golems and some of their equipment.


Back story:

Show
Team marvelous was formed when 5 young star elven psions who were attending various educational faculties to learn more about the world were called to professor Knowington’s research facility. They were chosen because of their highly lawful good nature, their talent with psionics and weaponry, as well as their passion towards helping the world become a safer place for citizens everywhere.

They were gifted by the fruits of Knowington’s research, which were his amazing power suits, and his clay amorphous golems. When combined… They formed a slightly larger clay golem, with odd bits.

As they fought off evil villain after evil villain, eventually they received a large following of people who believed in their cause. Or more accurately, a following of people that thought Team Marvelous! was awesome.

The fan war:

8 months into the fan club founding, the fans started bickering and attacking one another over who was the coolest of the Team Marvelous! members. The war was short but vicious, and it wasn’t until Professor Knowington invented a high powered megaphone that the Team Marvelous! members were able to calm their fans down. Ever since then, disputes have been at an intellectual level, as opposed to a physical one. This led to a larger increase in smart, yet weak believers, but less strong and tough macho guys.

However, one ingenious believer found that the collective dorkiness of all of the fans could be channeled into a single deadly attack a few times a day. So long as they all believed with all their hearts that their precious Team Marvelous would save the day, they could create the Marvelous Beam! attack, which could vanquish just about any foe. This was probably the best indirect consequence of the fan war.

Today:

Today Team Marvelous! is fighting the dreaded space pirate General Cut-throat Hazard, who sends his minions and monsters down to the planets surface on a weekly basis to try and defeat Team Marvelous! so he can take over the world.

Kickass McAwesome:

Captain Kickass McAwesome is the current leader of the 5 man team (you can tell by his red psionic skin) and is the most balanced of the bunch. (though he is a bit dim he’s considered an all around kind of fighter.) Before he was a Team Marvelous! member, he was a simple, naturally psionic star elf, with a strong sense of justice, and a kind personality, if a bit hot headed at times. He was good friends with all of the others, and was studying knowledge: psionics from professor Knowington. (who while not psionic, knows a great deal about the matter.)

Ever since becoming a member of Team Marvelous!, captain Kickass McAwesome has taken all the traits he had before and multiplied them 5 fold. He’s lucky some members of the Team Marvelous! group are more level headed and are able to reign him in when he gets too impetuous, but he’s all in all a good guy.

He rides Red Clay Marvelous! a reddish clay golem into battle. When the other golems combine (Blue Clay Marvelous!, Black Clay Marvelous!, Pink Clay Marvelous!, Yellow Clay Marvelous!) they get Rainbow Clay Marvelous Omega!, which has all the power of 5 clay golems stacked on top of eachother, and fighting as a team. They often do this to fight off the giant sized Wu Gen monsters that General Cutthroat Hazard sends down to earth for them to fight. Obviously, Red Clay Marvelous! is the head of Rainbow Clay Marvelous!

Fighting style:

When the call to fight off and thwart all evil is raised by Professor Knowington, Kickass McAwesome and his friends band together to fight the evil menace, each with their own slightly unique style, and powers.

Usually, Kickass McAwesome fights off the hordes of evil animated sludge henchmen of General Cutthroat Hazard with his trusty sword. When tougher enemies present themselves, he fights with a mixture of his sword and with his energy ray pistol. If it’s too much to handle, he also uses his Marvelous Net! to give him and advantage.

When The enemy is too big to fight with his sword, or with his energy ray pistol, he relies on Red Clay Marvelous, or Rainbow Clay Marvelous Omega! to get the job done, though they are only called upon when in the most massive of foes appear.

Once, Kickass McAwesome has gotten his fans to fire off the Marvelous Beam!, though that was only to destroy General Cutthroat Hazard’s flying space zombifier fortress.


Man that was fun. It made me dumber as I wrote it, but man was that fun. :D
List updated! Welcome to the competition, Jo! I don't recall seeing you before. Nice to have you.

John Ling

Lead Pathfinder Developer for Frog God Games

I couldn't resist the siren call of the word "Munchkin." ;)

Luckily, no one was around. His dark face showed lines of concern, and while he was the sort who rarely entertained visitors, he still appreciated being alone. He was angry. Who was this creature who had led the expedition that killed his mate. He had to know!

Finally, the scrying mirror flared to life. His network of contacts had been careful to hire a simple bandit to spy on this creature: Ciash Ilshor. All the man had to do was follow this beast. The small mirror, the other half of the one HE now watched, would convey all the information that was necessary. When he knew, then revenge could be served.

The bandit crouched in some dense bushes, about 20 paces off the main trail. As per his instructions, he set up the counter-part mirror catch the visage of the traveler. In a few minutes, He would know who this Ciash really was.

All at once, a strange sight came strolling down the trail. A minotaur to be certain, but clearly not normal for his kin. His fur was clean, well-brushed, and almost... civilized. His weapons were in good repair: two gleaming swords, a massive quarterstaff (almost a small tree, really), a bow that most warriors couldn't begin to pull. This creature had the all the might of his race, but a dangerous intellect to match. So this was the beast that had killed his mate.

Suddenly, the minotaur's hand snatched up his bow. In the blink of an eye, an arrow was knocked, then fired. He stared in disbelief as scrying mirror shook a few times before the blood of the bandit began running over the surface.

What sort of beast was this, so well aware, and so deadly? As if answering the unspoken question, the minotaur strolled over to the bushes and picked up the scrying mirror. Before smashing it against the rocks, he stopped to utter three simple words...

Cow. Stealth Cow.



Crunch
Ciash Ilshor, Stealth Cow
Male Minotaur Ranger* 5 (6 RHD + 2 LA + 5 Ranger = ECL 13)
Chaotic Good, Patron Deity: Ehlonna
7’6”, 713 lbs. (Large Size), Approximate Age: 37
Brown Fur, Brown Eyes, Black Horns
*Champion of the Wild variant (Complete Champion p.50)

Ability Score Mod
STR 28 +9
DEX 18 +4
CON 18 +4
INT 12 +1
WIS 12 +1
CHA 12 +1

HP(HD): 97 (11HD)
AC: 26 (+6 Armor, +4 Dex, +2 Deflection, +5 Natural, -1 size)
T: 15, FF: - (Natural Cunning)
Speed: 30ft
Initiative: +8 (+4 Dex, +4 Imp. Init.)

BAB/Grapple: +11/+24
Space/Reach: 10ft/10ft

Saves:
Fort: +13 (+2 racial, +4 Ranger, +4 Con, +3 Cloak)
Ref: +16 (+5 racial, +4 Ranger, +4 Dex, +3 Cloak)
Will: +10 (+5 racial, +1 Ranger, +1 Wis, +3 Cloak)

Conditional Modifiers
+4 vs. hot/cold environment (non-lethal) damage, +4 to resist damage from suffocation
Immune: Blindness, Dazzling
Resist: Cold 5, Elec. 5, Fire 5

Full Attack: (Note: +7 damage vs. humans, +5 damage vs. dragons)
+2 Keen Shortsword (main hand): +19/+14/+9, 1d8+11, 17-20/x2, & +2 Keen Shortsword: +19, 1d8+6, 17-20/x2, & Gore: +12, 1d8+4, 20/x2

or

+1 Comp. Longbow: 15/+10/+5, 2d6+8, 20/x3, 110ft

or

Powerful Charge: +21, 6d6+13, 20/x2

or

Quarterstaff: +18/+13/+8, 1d8+9, 20/x2 & ("off-hand") +18, 1d8+4, 20/x2, & Gore: +12, 1d8+4, 20/x2

Attack(s): (Note: +7 damage vs. humans, +5 damage vs. dragons)
+2 Keen Shortsword: +21, 1d8+11, 17-20/x2
+1 Comp. Longbow: +15, 2d6+8, 20/x3, 110ft
Gore: +19, 1d8+9, 20/x2
Quarterstaff: +20, 1d8+13, 20/x2
Throwing Hammer: +14, 1d6+9, 20/x2, 20ft

Special Qualities/Attacks:
Darkvision 60ft
+4 racial bonus to Listen, Search, & Spot
Natural Weapon: Gore (1d8)
Powerful Charge (Ex): Replaces Gore (4d6)
Natural Cunning (Ex): Immune to Maze Spells, Never Lost, Never Flat-footed
Scent (Ex): Recognize Odors, Detect Opponents by Scent, Track by Scent
Proficiencies: Simple Weapons, Martial Weapons, Light Armor, Shields
Favored Enemy: Humanoids (Human) +4 skills/+7 damage
Favored Enemy: Dragons +2 skills/+5 damage
Wild Empathy (Ex) +8 (+5 class, +1 Cha., +2 Synergy)
Animal Companion: Pristine (Eagle, see below)
Hold Breath: 12 hours
Double Carrying Capacity
Light 3/day (CL 4)
Commune 1/day (4 questions) (CL 9)

Feats:
Track (Ranger Bonus)
Endurance (Ranger Bonus)
Two Weapon Fighting (Ranger Bonus)
Improved Favored Enemy* (Ranger Bonus, CoW variant)
1: Power Attack
3: Quick Draw
6: Improved Initiative
9: Open Minded^

*Complete Warrior p.101
^Complete Adventurer p.111

Skills:
Languages: Common, Giant (Initial), Terran (Bonus), Sylvan, Draconic (purchased)
Skill Tricks: Never Outnumbered

Bluff: +1 (+1 Cha), +4 vs. humans, +2 vs. dragons
Handle Animal: +6 (5 ranks, +1 Cha)
Hide: +15 (10 ranks, +4 Dex, +5 competence, -4 size)
Intimidate: +10 (9 ranks, +1 Cha)
Jump: +15 (6 ranks, +9 Str)
Listen: +13 (8 ranks, +1 Wis, +4 racial), +4 vs. humans, +2 vs. dragons
Move Silently: +19 (10 ranks, +4 Dex, +5 competence)
Search: +5 (+1 Int, +4 racial)
Sense Motive: +1 (+1 Wis), +4 vs. humans, +2 vs. dragons
Spot: +5 (+1 Wis, +4 racial), +4 vs. humans, +2 vs. dragons
Survival: +11 (10 ranks, +1 Wis), +4 vs. humans, +2 vs. dragons
Swim: +12 (3 ranks, +9 Str)

Skill Breakdown
Skill Breakdown: (Skill Points: 27 Minotaur, 35 Ranger, 5 Feat)

Minotaur RHD: Intimidate 9 ranks, Jump 6 ranks, Listen 8 ranks, Never Outnumbered Skill Trick (CS p.87), Speak Language (Sylvan)-2 ranks (cc)

Ranger: Survival 10 ranks, Hide 10 ranks, Move Silently 10 ranks, Speak Language (Draconic) 2 ranks (cc), Swim 3 ranks

Open Minded: Handle Animal 5 ranks


Gear:
Light Load: 1600lbs, Medium Load: 3200lbs, Heavy Load: 4800lbs
Current Load: 85lbs, Light Load

Weapons, Armor, & Magical Gear:

2x +2 Keen (Large) Shortswords (18,320gp/4lbs each): 36,640gp/8lbs
+1 (Large) Darkwood Composite Longbow (Str. Bonus +7): 3,260gp/3lbs
Arrows (40): 2gp/12lbs
Walking Stick: Masterwork (Large) Quarterstaff: 600gp/8lbs
Throwing (Large) Hammers x2 (2gp/4lbs each): 4gp/8lbs
Agent’s Armor^: 23,750gp/40lbs
Gloves of the Starry Sky* (Dex +4): 17,100gp/-
Goggles of the Golden Sun*: 4,000gp/-
Periapt of the Sullen Sea* (Con +2): 10,000gp/-
Belt of the Wide Earth* (Str +4): 24,000gp/-
Cloak of Resistance +3: 9,000gp/1lb
Ring of Protection +2: 8,000gp/-
Ring of Sustenance: 2,500gp/-
Heward’s Handy Haversack: 2,000gp/5lbs
Silversheen x4 (250gp/- each): 1,000gp/-
Potions: Cure Moderate Wounds x5 (300gp/- each): 1,500gp/-
Potion: Displacement: 750gp/-
Potion: Haste: 750gp/-
Potion: Invisibility: 300gp/-
Universal Solvent x3 (50gp/- each) 150gp/-

Section Totals: 145,306gp/85lbs

Mundane Gear:

Spyglass: 1,000gp/1lb
Smoke Sticks x4 (20gp/.5lb each): 80gp/2lbs
Sunrods x5 (2gp/1lb each): 10gp/5lbs
Tanglefoot Bags x2 (50gp/4lbs each) 100gp/8lbs
Thunderstones x2 (30gp/1lb each): 60gp/2 lbs
Anti-Toxins x2 (50gp each/-): 100gp/-
Bottle of Fine Wine: 10gp/1.5lbs
Traveler’s Outfit (free/doesn’t count against weight): -/-
Cold Weather Outfit: 8gp/7lbs
Noble’s Outfit & Jewelry: 175gp/10lbs
Signet Ring: 5gp/-
Climber’s Kit: 80gp/5lbs
Bedroll: 1sp/5lbs
Winter Blanket: 5sp/3lbs
Flint & Steel: 1gp/-
Small Steel Mirror: 10gp/.5lbs
Crowbar: 2gp/5lbs
Caltrops x4 (1gp/2lbs each): 4gp/8lbs
Soap (2lbs): 1gp/2lbs
Waterskin: 1gp/4lbs
Silk Rope 50ft x2: 20gp/10lbs

Section Totals: 1,667gp, 6sp/79lbs

(Note: The Mundane Gear is carried in the HHH, and doesn’t count against Ciash’s Encumbrance... not that it would matter)

Total Gear Value: 146,973gp, 6sp

Remaining Coin: 300pp, 26gp, 4sp

^: Agent’s Armor: +3 (Large, Non-Humanoid) Rhino’s Studded Leather Armor of Shadow & Silent Moves
*: Raiment of the Four: MIC p.203, see equipment notes

Animal Companion:
Pristine (Small Animal: Female Imperial Eagle): 1 Bonus Trick, Link*
HP: 5 (HD: 1d8+1)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 10ft, Fly 80ft (average)
AC: 14 (+1 size, +2 DEX, +1 Natural), T: 13, FF: 12
BAB/Grapple: +0/-4
Full Attack: 2 Talons +3, 1d4, 20/x2 & Bite -2, 1d4, 20/x2
Space/Reach: 5ft/5ft
Special Qualities: Low-Light Vision, +8 racial bonus to Spot
F/R/W: +3/+4/+2
Abilities: Str: 10/-, Dex: 15/+2, Con 12: +1, Int: 2/-4, Wis: 14/+2, Cha: 6/-2
Skills: Listen: +2, Spot: +14
Feats: Weapon Finesse
Tricks: Attack, Down, Fetch, Heel, Seek, Stay, Warn^ (Bonus)

*Normally, Pristine would also have the Share Spells ability, but that ability is unavailable since Ciash doesn’t cast spells.
^CA p.101

Crunch Notes
Ability Score Generation:
Strength: 14 Base (6 points), +8 Racial, +2 Ability Score Increases (4 & 8 HD), +4 Item
Dexterity: 14 Base (6 points), +4 Item
Constitution: 12 Base (4 points), +4 Racial, +2 Item
Intelligence: 16 Base (10 points), -4 Racial,
Wisdom: 12 Base (4 points)
Charisma: 14 Base (6 points), -2 Racial

Hit Points
6d8 racial + 5d8 ranger + 44 Con, or 8 + (4.5 x 10) + 44 = 97 HP

Attack Calculations:

+2 Keen Shortsword: +21/+16/+11*, 1d8+11, 17-20/x2
Attack: +11 BAB, +9 STR, +2 Enhancement, -1 size
Damage: 1d8 (base: large weapon) + 9 Str + 2 Ehancement
Critical: 17-20/x2
*: Apply a -2 penalty to these attacks when using TWF

+2 Keen Shortsword (off-hand, TWF): +19, 1d8+6, 17-20/x2
Attack: +11 BAB, +9 STR, +2 Enhancement, -1 size, -2 TWF
Damage: 1d8 (base: large weapon) + 4 (1/2 STR off-hand) + 2 Enhancement
Critical: 17-20/x2

+1 Comp. Longbow: +15/+10/+5, 2d6+8, 20/x3, 110ft
Attack: +11 BAB, +4 DEX, +1 Enhancement, -1 size
Damage: 2d6 (base: large weapon) + 7 Str + 1 Enhancement
Critical: 20/x3

Gore (primary attack): +19, 1d8+9, 20/x2
Attack: +11 BAB, +9 STR, -1 size
Damage: 1d8 (base) + 9 STR
Critical: 20/x2

Gore (secondary attack during TWF): +12, 1d8+4, 20/x2
Attack: +11 BAB, +9 STR, -1 size, -5 secondary attack, -2 TWF*
Damage: 1d8 (base) + 4 (1/2 STR, treated as off-hand)
Critical: 20/x2
*: I can’t find any notes that indicate that the penalty for TWF applies to natural attacks. I have included that penalty in my calculations because the Gore attack is treated as an “off-hand” weapon for the STR penalty to damage, so I’ve concluded that all other “off-hand” penalties should be kept. Still, if the DM didn't think I needed to include it, I wouldn't complain.

Powerful Charge: +21, 6d6+13, 20/x2
Attack: +11 BAB, +9 STR, +2 Charge, -1 size
Damage: 4d6 (base) + 2d6 (Rhino enchantment) + 13 STR (treat as two-handed weapon)
Critical: 20/x2

Quarterstaff (as double weapon): +18/+13/+8, 1d8+9, 20/x2 & +18, 1d8+4, 20/x2
Attack: +11 BAB, +9 STR, +1 Enhancement, -1 size, -2 TWF
Damage: 1d8 (base: large weapon), +9 STR (main hand) or +4 STR (off-hand)
Critical: 20/x2

Quarterstaff (as two-handed weapon): +20, 1d8+13, 20/x2
Attack: +11 BAB, +9 STR, +1 Enhancement, -1 size
Damage: 1d8 (base: large weapon), +13 STR
Critical: 20/x2

Throwing Hammer: +14, 1d6+9, 20/x2, 20ft
Attack: +11 BAB, +4 DEX, -1 size
Damage: 1d6 (base: large weapon) + 9 STR
Critical: 20/x2

Item Notes

1) The weapons table indicated that I had to double the base cost & weight of the item since my character is large size. I couldn't find any similar requirements for the Goods table, so I used the standard cost and weight there.

2) Agent's Armor (in detail, since I know you'll get a headache otherwise...)

Base: Studded Leather Armor: 100gp (Assumed x4 cost due to Monstrous Humanoid type)
Masterwork Component: 150gp
Rhino's: Enchantment based off Rhino's Hide Armor (DMG p.220). As priced, it is a +1 Enhancement that allows +2d6 damage on a charge.
-Thus, the Base Armor Enhancement bonus is +4 (16,000gp).
-Shadow (+3,750gp) & Silent Moves (+3,750gp)
-Final Cost: 23,750gp

3) Darkwood Composite Bow: I made it from a special material to justify it being able to handle the strain of such a heavy pull. The example items in the DMG, seem to indicate that you pay for the masterwork item, and then add 10gp/lb. Don't forget that it originally weighed 6 lbs since it is a Large Composite Longbow.

4) The rules for the Raiment of the Four can be found in the Magic Item Compendium (p.203-4). I have also added Stat boosting effects to these items using the rules in the MIC (p.234).

Design Notes

1) I went for the Champion of the Wild variant b/c his spell casting would be too weak due to his RHD. The bonus feats were just more practical.

2) I really wanted one more level: 12HD: +1 DEX, Imp. Combat Style, & a Bonus Feat (Two Weapon Defense). I don't even need extra cash. This is an actual character that I played, and ECL 14 was a happy, happy day.

3) Since Minotaurs don't have a listed set of age categories, I'm assuming that they age like Half-elves. Why? Because I can!

4) My character build assumes that Ciash gained two levels of Ranger while improving his Racial Hit Dice. This has absolutely zero effect on his actual stats.


Background
The story of Ciash begins on a remote island known as Dria, outside of the only settlement: Acitu. This small group of farmers, hunters, and herdsmen crafted a simple life out of the wilderness, always careful to never take more than they needed from the land. This considerate attitude earned them the appreciation, and eventual friendship, of a multitude of fey living in the land.

One of the fey, a nymph named Nihia (nigh-I-uh), was particularly fond of the village. One night, a severe storm came off of the ocean, severely damaging the town. Nihia, went to the shoreline to help out the towns people when she made a peculiar discovery. Among all the rubble, there was evidence of a small ship wreck.

In and of itself, this wouldn't be too strange, but there was something else to find: a baby minotaur. Normally, fey aren't fond of these violent, evil creatures, but something tugged at Nihia's heart. If the storm spared this child, maybe there was a reason. Besides, it was young. Maybe, if it was raised well, it's evil nature could be replaced with something more beautiful.

She named the minotaur Ciash, or "Water's Fate," and (with the help of the village), raised the young beast.

Years came and went, and while the chaotic tendencies of his race never subsided, the young minotaur did, in fact, develop a kind and generous heart. Living in such a remote place, he quickly took to the arts of the hunter, and by the age of 20, was a member of the town guard.

Ciash's real adventures wouldn't begin for a few more years. One day, after running around the forest with his friends Ontem (a young dwarf with a talent for making cheese) and Ivalia (an elven maiden with budding talents as a Sorceror), Ciash came back to town to a scene of utter chaos. Bodies were scattered all over the place. People were screaming. There were sounds of an obvious fight.

When Ciash discovered the cause of the commotion, he flew into a rage. A werewolf had attacked the town, when Nihia had stepped in to defend a group of children. Despite her best efforts, she had fallen to the beast's jaws. Ciash roared and charged.

Upon later contemplation, there wasn't any reason for Ciash to have survived. Ontem would speculate that the werewolf fled the scene out of surprise, not actual fear. Whatever the cause, Nihia's murderer had escaped. It was later discovered that the creature had stolen a boat and headed for the mainland.

As much as Ciash hated to, he knew what his next decision was going to be. He left Acitu. It has been 12 years, and one pattern has become obvious: the werewolf has been purposefully attacking sacred natural sites. Many fey have been murdered. Many sites have been desecrated.

Ciash currently serves in the role of a defender of the wild. He has an extensive set of allies among the fey, particularly those tied to sacred sites (such as nymphs and dryads). He has fashioned himself as a member of high society (his idea of a joke), and travels around looking for news of his mother's murderer.

Among his most recent discoveries, there are rumors of a Black Dragon who has hired a tribe of werewolves. The purpose of such an alliance remains a mystery, but Ciash is training for the day he can confront the organization that was responsible for the death of his mother.

Ciash is a hunter. They will not see their death coming. The last thing they will ever hear...

"Moo."
List updated

John Ling

Lead Pathfinder Developer for Frog God Games

OK, define 'cheese'. I'm not certain what you mean.
OK, define 'cheese'. I'm not certain what you mean.

Archivist with Leadership and a Warlock companion.
Dragonwrought Kobald=Epic feats (Legally!) from level 1.
Arcane Casting Swordsage="Why yes I would like unlimited use of any spell ever printed." (The CharOp boards won't even touch that one.)
Or Gorgonzolla Man, Lord of the Swiss.
Or something with a truely groan worthy concept or backstory.

Really there is quite a lot you can do for this.
Man, if only Dragon Magic were on the list!

I've been dying to mix up a higher level meleeish bard built around Dragonfire Inspiration (trade Inspire Courage bonus for elemental damage to yours and everyone elses attacks, 1d6 dmg per +1 IC bonus). I was thinking about maybe a draconic goliath bard/warblade.

I guess I'll have to think of something else.
Y'know, you'd think for a contest to make the most munchkin-y characters, Unearthed Arcana would be the first book on the allowed list. ;) Ah, well....

I'll have one up shortly if I can get my idea to work. Otherwise it might be a few days, but I'll definitely try to enter something.
Nah, it's all those overpoweed psionics :P

That said, I am using the XPH...
All right, I wasn't able to get a character done for the last two HC's, but I AM entering this one. Inspiration struck like a crushing fist of spite, and I've got him half done already.

(stealth subscription)
Well, I've narrowed it down to two concepts, both very divergent. I think I know which one I'll do, but I'm not sure if I can work the background like I'd like...
Here we go. May God have mercy on us all.

...

Chetwick Darrian "Che'Dar" Muenztyr, mercenary and cheesemaker
"In the name of the Lollipop!"
--Che'Dar


Appearance
Chetwick Darrian Muenztyr, or "Che'Dar" as most call him, is a male halfling of average height and appearance. His hair is brown and his eyes bright blue, although his expression is often sour - as if he has just bitten into a cheese and is waiting to see whether it is spoiled or not. He is fairly muscular for a halfling, but is even stronger than he looks. He favors brightly-colored clothing which adds to his impression of foolishness and harmlessness, although he wears a large black cloak for when stealth is required.

The most noticeable thing about Che'Dar is the massive, five-foot-long, bulbous-headed darkwood greatclub that is always slung over his shoulder. It almost drags on the ground, yet he carries it everywhere, no matter how inappropriate it is.


History
Chetwick was originally a humble townsman in the city of Wauz. A cheesemaker, he delighted in exotic experimental cheeses - his so-called "Emerald Dilly Cheese" was wildly popular - and in irritatingly memorable songs, sung over and over and over. He often compared cheesemaking notes with the gnome Bing Twombly, an adept/cheesemaker, and the only person Che'Dar knew who could equal his love of cheesemaking.

During his spare time, Chetwick was often found at the Emerald House, a theater owned by the Flying Munkii Brothers, a band of gnomish acrobat-bards. There, Che'Dar learned new songs to exasperate his friends, usually with the help of Gelgin Munkii, his closest friend. He also adventured on rare occasions, usually in the company of Gelgin and a halfling lass Dorothy Kansa and her wolf Toroto. Chetwick himself was not much for wild adventures, but he was enamored of Dorothy and sought out her company. These escapades rarely lasted long, although they sometimes took the band far from the city of Wauz.

Unbeknownst to most, Chetwick supplemented his cheesemaking earnings and occasional adventuring fees with a bit of freelance burglary. He specialized in jewels, especially emeralds, but was willing to nab nearly anything of value. Chetwick retained a bit of a conscience: he would steal only from those he felt could afford the loss. To assuage his conscience, he often donated cheeses to various charities and poorhouses, as well.

Trouble came when, inevitably, Che'Dar was captured by the local thieves' guild, the Scarecrow Men. His face disguised by a burlap sack mask, the Scarecrow King offered three choices to Che'Dar: he could leave town and never come back, he could become intimately acquainted with the wildlife at the bottom of the river, or he could perform a job for the Scarecrows. Having a brain in his head, Che'Dar chose the last.

This job involved a bit of high-end burglary: slipping into the manor house of a powerful elven sorcerer, one Elaine Westenbough, known as the Witch of the West by her detractors. There, Che'Dar was to steal three items: the Heart of Courage, an amulet that granted protection from fear; the Alien Mind, a preserved mind flayer brain that acted as a living library, and the Diamond Slippers, a set of gem-encrusted footwear that allowed the wearer to traverse the planes.

All went well until Che'Dar reached the treasure chamber. Laying his hands upon the Heart of Courage, he was nearly decapitated by an axe-wielding iron golem that suddenly sprang to life with a great screeching of rusted metal. Desperately trying to elude the noisy golem, Che'Dar snatched up the nearest weapon - a large greatclub with a knobby, bulbous end - and fended off the axe-blows. To his astonishment, the greatclub spoke inside his mind, helping him to elude the golem and flee the aroused manor house.

Having failed in his mission, Che'Dar fled from both Elaine and the Scarecrows. The magical greatclub he had pilfered continued to help him, showing him the safest path and throwing up illusions to confuse pursuit. When he had time to consider the matter, Che'Dar learned that the greatclub's name was Lollipop (because of its shape) and it claimed to have been wrought by the eladrins, only to be stolen by the "evil witch, Westenbough." Lollipop's overriding goal was freedom and it opposed all tyranny - something Che'Dar could sympathize with.

Che'Dar went into hiding, but he was found time after time - by the Scarecrow Men, by the City Guard, by agents of Westenbough. Each time he escaped, fighting off his enemies with Lollipop, using a mixture of his own cleverness and the greatclub's magic to confound his foes. Whenever possible, Lollipop sought to train its wielder, and Che'Dar focused on combat ability and learned much from the club. However, Che'Dar and Lollipop met their match in Roderick "the Coward," Elaine's consort and tracker, a ferocious fighter and - to Chetwick's horror - a werelion. Che'Dar barely escaped with his life, and decided to flee the city rather than risk the Coward's wrath again. Contacting the Flying Munkiis, Che'Dar was smuggled out of the city and set off to find a new fortune.


Current Sketch
Che'Dar and Lollipop have traveled widely since then, and the greatclub's influence over the halfling cheesemaker has solidified. One a whimsical, somewhat erratic person, Che'Dar has become downright unstable under Lollipop's influence. He believes everything the club tells him, but Lollipop is far from a tyrant - he lets Che'Dar do whatever he wants, as long as it doesn't aid the forces of Law. Thus, Che'Dar is free to hire out his special skills wherever he feels the urge. Che'Dar often claims to be "representin' the Lollipop," and does things "in the name of the Lollipop," leaving his comrades utterly clueless. He does not mention his weapon's intelligence, although he takes no pains to conceal its magical powers.

Che'Dar is slightly paranoid, for he knows Elaine Westenbough is not one to forget an insult. He knows it is only a matter of time before her agent, the Coward, crosses his path once more.


Allies and Enemies
Elaine Westenbough (NE female elf sorcerer 18): Known to her detractors as the Witch of the West, Elaine is an elf distantly related to the royal family of her homeland. She was exiled for some unknown crime, and has settled among human lands as a result. She specializes in magics of control and compulsion, and is known to own a broom of flying.

Roderick "the Coward" Albersham (LE male human werelion ex-paladin 2/ranger 12: Hailing from the far south, Roderick is tall and ebony-skinned, lean and muscular. Called "the Coward," he is a failed paladin; it is rumored that he earned his epithet when he abandoned men to die to save himself, an act that cost him his paladin status. He is a fierce and terrible foe, utterly devoted to Elaine Westenbough, and as adept in the wilderness as any man alive. Roderick is also a werelion, something he keeps secret from everyone but Elaine and those men who serve him directly (use weretiger stats).

Gelgin Munkii (CG male gnome rogue 3/bard 8): Che'Dar's closest friend, Gelgin is a born showman, one who will never do things efficiently when he can do them with flair. Gelgin is the eldest of the Flying Munkii Brothers, a band of five gnomes who combine song, storytelling, and acrobatics at their theater.

Dorothy Kansa (NG female halfling druid 10 [of Yondalla]): Born in a small farming village, Dorothy came to the city of Wauz to spread the word of Yondalla and teach those who were interested the beauties of the natural world and how to preserve it while still eking a living from the earth. Although she considers herself a simple farm girl, Dorothy is intuitive and intelligent, if a little naive, and Yondalla has granted her great divine powers. Dorothy knows Che'Dar is in love with her, and while she likes him, she does not truly love him. She is accompanied everywhere by her loyal wolf companion, Toroto.

Bing Twombly (CG gnome adept 9): Bing is a strange bird: a cheesemaking adept. Despite his considerable magical talent, he earns his living crafting wondrous cheeses, only resorting to selling spells when the cheesemaking trade slows down. He is an artificer by choice, focusing his magic on enchanting objects rather than outright spellcasting. His specialty is a variant on potions: magical cheeses.


Gear
"Lollipop": Intelligent, +1 vicious darkwood greatclub. (47,085 gp)
Belt of giant's strength +6: A prize from early in Chetwick's career, he won this when he, Gelgin, and Dorothy sought to stop a grove of evil treants that were "freeing" various orchards from their "bondage to the fleshies." Chetwick was nearly bludgeoned to death by apples, but he escaped with his prize. (36,000 gp)
+4 chain shirt of light fortification: Che'Dar found this in an ancient halfling tomb when he, Gelgin and Dorothy were hired to clear out some pesky undead.(25,250 gp)
Boots of striding and springing: Che'Dar commissioned these specially, knowing that a swift stride was necessary for a successful burglar. (5,500 gp)
"Potion" (cheese) of cure serious wounds (3): Purchased from his friend Bing Twombly; a soft, white cheese delicately marbled and with a smooth, fresh flavor (2,250 gp)
Ring of protection +2: A trinket Chetwick "acquired" from a traveling wizard who made the mistake of insulting halflings. (8,000 gp)
Bag of holding (type I): Also commissioned by Chetwick. (2,500 gp)
Amulet of natural armor +2: A gift from Dorothy's grateful Aunt Emma, a druid, after one of their more hair-raising scrapes. (8,000 gp)
Cape of the mountebank: A traveling show once came to town and began showing up the Flying Munkiis. Che'Dar stole their leader's cape merely to annoy them, only later discovering its magical powers. (10,080 gp)
Daggers (2) (4 gp)
Sling (-)
Sling bullets (20) (2 sp)
Entertainer's outfit (3 gp)
Traveler's outfit (free)
Backpack (2 gp)
Bedroll (1 sp)
Candles (5) (25 cp)
Flint & steel (1 gp)
Lantern, hooded (7 gp)
Oil (2 one-pint flasks) (2 sp)
Belt pouches (2) (2 gp)
50' silk rope (10 gp)
Rations, 5 days (25 sp)
Cheesemaker's kit (considered equal to healer's kit) (50 gp)
MW thieves' tools (100 gp)
10 garnets (50 gp each) (500 gp)
Miscellaneous coin (155 gp)
Total Spent: 150,000 gp


Mechanics
"Che'Dar" Muenztyr, male halfling fighter 4/rogue 9
Alignment Chaotic neutral
Hit Dice 9d6+4d10+39 (93 hp)
Initiative +7
Speed 30'
AC 26 (+1 size, +3 Dex, +8 armor, +2 deflection, +2 natural), touch 16, flat-footed 26 (uncanny dodge)
Base Attack/Grapple +10/+12
Attack Lollipop +17 melee or dagger +17 melee
or sling +15 ranged
Full Attack Lollipop +17/+12 melee or dagger +17/+12 melee
or sling +15 ranged
Damage Lollipop 1d12+12/19-20 plus 2d6 vicious, dagger 1d3+6/19-20, sling 1d3+6
Space/Reach 5'/5'
Special Attacks Sneak attack 5d6
Special Qualities Evasion, improved uncanny dodge, trapfinding, trap sense +3, uncanny dodge, fortification (25%; armor)
Saves Fort +11, Ref +12, Will +9 (+11 vs. fear)
Abilities Str 23, Dex 16, Con 16, Int 10, Wis 14, Cha 10
Skills Appraise +2 (+4 regarding cheeses), Balance +7, Bluff +2, Climb +10, Craft (cheesemaking) +9, Disable Device +15, Hide +14 Jump +14, Listen +14, Move Silently +15, Open Lock +12, Perform (singing) +2, Search +12, Spot +12, Tumble +13
Feats Improved Critical (greatclub), Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Monkey Grip, Power Attack, Power Critical, Weapon Focus (greatclub), Weapon Specialization (greatclub)


Lollipop
Lollipop is an intelligent, +1 vicious darkwood greatclub. It is a gleaming ebony in color, with a whorled, erratic grain that seems to shift slowly as one watches. It is surprisingly slender for a greatclub, but its head flares out into a knobby, circular mass of hard lumps and protrusions. Seen from a distance, it rather resembles a ball on a stick.

Lollipop is chaotic neutral in alignment, and it attempts to persuade its wielder to become chaotic neutral as well; it hates lawful entities, and attempts to extricate itself from their clutches. It scorns all forms of authority and revels in chaos, but it does not particularly care what form this chaos takes: a riot is as good as a party to Lollipop. Its origin is unknown; Lollipop itself lies gleefully when interrogated, and magical investigation reveals only the confused influence of Glynd'ha of the South, the half-slaad/half-human warlock and self-proclaimed avatar of chaos.

Lollipop speaks Common, Draconic, Elven and Slaadi and can communicate via telepathy as well. It has a 17 Intelligence, 10 Wisdom and 17 Charisma, and its 10 ranks in Bluff allow it to lie with skill (+13 total bonus). It can produce a minor image once per day, and usually uses this power to create more chaos and mayhem. It can also locate object three times per day; this power manifests as a yellowish tinge to the ground when the wielder is facing the correct direction, and Lollipop's nasal encouragements to "Follow the golden road! Follow the golden road!" ringing telepathically in the wielder's ears. Finally, as befit a weapon of chaos, Lollipop can throw up a magic circle against law at will, and usually does so to protect its wielder. It has an Ego of 14.


Under the Hood
Hit Points
9d6 rogue = 32 (6 + [8*3.5 = 28] = 32)
4d10 fighter = 22 (4*5.5 = 22)
+39 Con (3*13 = 39)
Total 93

Initiative
+3 Dex plus +4 Improved Initiative

Attack Bonus
"Lollipop": +10 BAB, +1 size, +6 Str, +1 enhancement, +1 Weapon Focus, -2 oversized weapon
Dagger: +10 BAB, +1 size, +6 Str
Sling: +10 BAB, +1 size, +3 Dex, +1 halfling

Save Bonuses
Fortitude: +3 rogue, +4 fighter, +3 Constitution, +1 halfling
Reflex: +6 rogue, +1 fighter, +3 Dexterity, +1 halfling
Willpower: +3 rogue, +1 fighter, +2 Wisdom, +2 Iron Will, +1 halfling (+2 vs. fear)

Ability Scores
Base: Str 16 (10 points), Dex 14 (6 points), Con 16 (10 points), Int 10 (2 points), Wis 14 (6 points), Cha 10 (2 points)
Halfling Adjustments: +2 Dex, -2 Str
4th Level: +1 Str
8th Level: +1 Str
12th level: +1 Str
Other Bonuses: +6 enhancement to Strength from belt of giant's strength +6.

Skills
At 1st Level (rogue): 32 (8*4)
Per Rogue Level: 8
Per Fighter Level: 2

Level 1: Rogue 1: Appraise 2, Balance 2, Bluff 2, Climb 2, Craft (cheesemaking) 4, Disable Device 2, Hide 2, Listen 2, Move Silently 2, Open Lock 2, Perform (singing) 2, Search 4, Spot 2, Tumble 2
Level 2: Rogue 2: Craft (cheesemaking) 1, Disable Device 1, Hide 1, Listen 1, Move Silently 1, Open Lock 1, Search 1, Spot 1
Level 3: Rogue 3: Disable Device 1, Hide 1, Listen 1, Move Silently 1, Open Lock 1, Search 1, Spot 1, Tumble 1
Level 4: Fighter 1: Craft (cheesemaking) 1, Jump 1,
Level 5: Rogue 4: Disable Device 1, Hide 1, Listen 1, Move Silently 1, Open Lock 1, Search 1, Spot 1, Tumble 1
Level 6: Fighter 2: Craft (cheesemaking) 1, Jump 1
Level 7: Rogue 5: Disable Device 1, Hide 1, Listen 1, Move Silently 1, Open Lock 1, Search 1, Spot 1, Tumble 1
Level 8: Fighter 3: Craft (cheesemaking) 1, Jump 1
Level 9: Rogue 6: Disable Device 1, Hide 1, Listen 1, Move Silently 1, Open Lock 1, Search 1, Spot 1, Tumble 1
Level 10: Fighter 4: Craft (cheesemaking) 1, Jump 1
Level 11: Rogue 7: Disable Device 1, Hide 1, Listen 1, Move Silently 1, Open Lock 1, Search 1, Spot 1, Tumble 1
Level 12: Rogue 8: Disable Device 1, Hide 1, Listen 1, Move Silently 1, Open Lock 1, Search 1, Spot 1, Tumble 1
Level 13: Rogue 9: Disable Device 1, Hide 1, Listen 1, Move Silently 1, Open Lock 1, Search 1, Spot 1, Tumble 1

Synergy Bonuses, for having 5+ ranks in a skill:
+2 Appraise checks regarding cheeses (Craft [cheesemaking]),
+2 Balance (Tumble)
+2 Jump (Tumble)
Other Bonuses:
+2 racial bonus on Climb, Jump, Listen and Move Silently checks (halfling)
+4 size bonus on Hide checks (Small size)
+2 circumstance bonus on Disable Device and Open Lock checks (MW thieves' tools)

Feats
1st: Improved Initiative
3rd: Iron Will
4th: Monkey Grip [fighter bonus]
6th: Weapon Focus (greatclub), Power Attack [fighter bonus]
9th: Power Critical (greatclub)
10th: Weapon Specialization (greatclub) [fighter bonus]
12th: Improved Critical (greatclub)

Lollipop
intelligent +1 vicious darkwood greatclub
MW greatclub (305 gp)
Darkwood (10 gp/pound = 80 gp)
+1 vicious (8,000 gp)
Intelligent (Int 17, Wis 10, Cha 17), speech, telepathy, 3 lesser powers, 1 greater power, 120' darkvision and hearing (9,000 gp)
minor image 1/day (2,200 gp)
10 ranks Bluff (5,000 gp)
locate object 3/day (6,500 gp)
magic circle against law at will (16,000 gp)
Ego 14 (+1 enhancement bonus, +1 special ability, +3 lesser powers, +2 greater power, +1 telepathy, +3 Intelligence bonus, +3 Charisma bonus)
Total value 47,085 gp


References
Monkey Grip feat: Complete Warrior p. 103
Power Critical feat: Complete Warrior p. 103


Notes
This is not a serious character (gasps from the audience). Neither is he terribly optomized...he's got four levels of fighter, for Cthulhu's sake! This isn't intended to mean he's useless; he should be playable and able to contribute. I chose to embrace a different interpretation of the words "cheese" and "munchkin." My intent was to make a character who was as silly as possible while still being fairly useful. There's a certain amount of amusement value in some hulking thug being beaten senseless by a 3'-tall guy in a jester's outfit, screaming "In the name of the Lollipop!" while dealing around 42 points of damage per hit.

Extra bonus points for anyone who gets the "Bing Twombly" reference.

Random aside: I originally intended to make a CoDzilla or a wizard, but when I thought of the halfling race, I decided to take some levels of fighter and embrace the opposite end of the scale.
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