1001 Fantasy Foods and Drinks

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For the dinkiest hole in the wall tavern your level one characters meet in to the wine palace Bacchus himself runs. From the grandest feast for the heroes of the realm to what exactly is in these trail rations we're eating?


1. Elven fruit wine. New trade secret methods of fermenting fruit have allowed elven vintners to produce fruit wines that match grape wines in both flavor an affordability. Strawberry, blueberry, peach and plum are the currently available flavors.

2. Frost berry wine. Far to the north, these white berries are harvested by the native barbarian tribes. The wine is excellent and always remains slightly cool no matter the temperature. Unfortunately the smell of the ripe berries attracts the dreaded Remorhaz, making this wine a rare and expensive one.

3. Shambling Salad. The vines and leaves of the shambling mound make a delicious meal when lightly cooked with some olive oil, and tossed with seasonal vegetables. While stories of reanimation when the diner is subject to electricity are nothing more then then slander and fiction, we cannot be held liable for any injuries caused by our food clawing it's way out of your stomach after you've been hit by lightning.

4. Eternal Summer. A king would have to empty the treasury of his entire kingdom just to have a hope of tasting this drink. Sold only in Hestavar, this drink is the embodiment of every lazy summer day and hot summer night. A depressed feeling is common when the feeling wears off several hours later, but the bartender a stooped old human named Vincent won't sell it to anyone twice, but rumor speaks of an eternal fall, winter and spring. Who knows what it would feel like to taste them all?

5. Roast Magma Claw with King Crab. Capturing Magma Claws is no simple business, but this dish is common in the City of Brass. The Magma Claw cooks the crabmeat on the plate and it's drizzled in sauce and seasoning to to enhance the flavor. If the meal catches on fire it's a sign of an inexperience chef. Eating this meal without any fire resistance will cause horrible heartburn for over a week.
6. "Strawberries, cherries, and an angel's kiss in spring,
My summer wine is really made of all these things
Take off your silver spurs and help me pass the time
And I will give to you summer wine, sweet summer wine."
My eyes grew heavy and my tongue too tired to speak
I tried to get up but I could not find my feet
She took my silver spurs, a dollar and a dime
And left me craving for more summer wine, sweet summer wine.
*

Summer wine is straight from the Feywild, and only in the Feywild can it be made. It has a Sleep effect, and beware the eladrin seducers who offer it. You may lose more than your conciousness.

*From Nancy Sinatra's "Summer Wine"
Don't ask what's in the trail rations. You might not want to eat the answer...
7. Abberant Sushi.
Many Abberant creatures have tentacles-chop em off, and you have a funky meal.

Has an aftertaste of insanity.
Shaman: "Why doesn't the squirrel shoot the wizard?" DM: "Because the last squirrel who tried to shoot the wizard missed, then was pulled out of his tree and incinerated." Wizard: "He has a point."
8. Korvian Red Ale - brewed from elf blood
9. Korvian Green Ale - brewed from Green Slime
10. Sugared Elf Eyes - elf eyes allowed to dry packed in fine powdered sugar
The Citadel Megadungeon: http://yellowdingosappendix.blogspot.com.au/2012/08/the-citadel-mega-dungeon-now-with-room.html
11. Fey Jerky - The ears of elves and eladrin, treated and salted as a delicious snack
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Board Snippets
147048523 wrote:
"I don't like X, they should remove it." "I like X, they should keep it." "They should replace X with Y." "Anybody that likes X is dumb. Y is better." "Why don't they include both X and Y." "Yeah, everybody can be happy then!" "But I don't like X, they should remove it." "X really needs to be replaced with Y." "But they can include both X and Y." "But I don't like X, they need to remove it." "Remove X, I don't like it." Repeat. Obstinance?
56790678 wrote:
Until you've had an in-law tell you your choice of game was stupid, and just Warcraft on paper, and dumbed down for dumber players who can't handle a real RPG, you haven't lived. You haven't lived.
56902498 wrote:
Lady and gentlemen.... I present to you the Edition War without Contrition, the War of the Web, the Mighty Match-up! We're using standard edition war rules. No posts of substance. Do not read the other person's posts with comprehension. Make frequent comparison to video games, MMOs, and CCGs. Use the words "fallacy" and "straw man", incorrectly and often. Passive aggressiveness gets you extra points and asking misleading and inflammatory questions is mandatory. If you're getting tired, just declare victory and leave the thread. Wait for the buzzer... and.... One, two, three, four, I declare Edition War Five, six, seven eight, I use the web to Go!
57062508 wrote:
D&D should not return to the days of blindfolding the DM and players. No tips on encounter power? No mention of expected party roles? No true meaning of level due to different level charts or tiered classes? Please, let's not sacrifice clear, helpful rules guidelines in favour of catering to the delicate sensibilities of the few who have problems with the ascetics of anything other than what they are familiar with.
56760448 wrote:
Just a quick note on the MMORPG as an insult comparison... MMORPGs, raking in money by the dumptruck full. Many options, tons of fans across many audiences, massive resources allocated to development. TTRPGs, dying product. Squeaking out an existence that relys on low cost. Fans fit primarily into a few small demographics. R&D budgets small, often rushed to market and patched after deployment. You're not really making much of an argument when you compare something to a MMORPG and assume people think that means bad. Lets face it, they make the money, have the audience and the budget. We here on this board are fans of TTRPGs but lets not try to pretend none of us play MMORPGs.
90571711 wrote:
Adding options at the system level is good. Adding options at the table level is hard. Removing options at the system level is bad. Removing options at the table level is easy. This is not complicated.
57333888 wrote:
112760109 wrote:
56902838 wrote:
Something like Tactical Shift is more magical than martial healing.
Telling someone to move over a few feet is magical now? :| I weep for this generation.
Given the laziness and morbid obsesity amongst D&Ders, being able to convince someone to get on their feet, do some heavy exercise, and use their words to make them be healthier must seem magical.
158710691 wrote:
D&D definitely improves mental health; Just as long as you stay away from these forums ;)
This thread is an awesome idea.
Current Party (3.5, 1st Level, Bards) The Drummer - Mouthy human stoner who isn't allowed to carry our money. The Lutist - Gnome willing to get freaky with wealthy orcs if it means a +2 to his Gather Info. The Bass Lutist - Token dwarf. The Lead Singer - Always taking one for the team...and sometimes just for fun.
12) Dragon Steak

13) Spider Legs

14) Basilisk Steak

15) Roc Steak
Current Party (3.5, 1st Level, Bards) The Drummer - Mouthy human stoner who isn't allowed to carry our money. The Lutist - Gnome willing to get freaky with wealthy orcs if it means a +2 to his Gather Info. The Bass Lutist - Token dwarf. The Lead Singer - Always taking one for the team...and sometimes just for fun.
16) Gnoll Tea: One parts water, 2 parts victim blood, 1/2 parts lemon, 1/2 parts mango. Best served with torture.

17) Beholder Ramen: Just boil some beholder tentacles in some vegetables, water, and some citrus to have a delicious treat! Unfortunately, you have to gather the ingredients yourself.

18) Ecto-Coffee: Most ghosts don't mind giving a little ectoplasm for a good cause. However, finding a way to keep the coffee in the mug is a different story.

19) Mindflayer Surprise: I can't particularly say what is inside it, but it tastes good, makes you hear voices, and eats your brains.

20) Gelatinous Cube Jello: Delicious and threatening!
  • Find a Gelatinous Cube.
  • Kill it.
  • ???
  • Profit.


21) Warforged Peanut Butter Cube: Insert mental image: Dog eating peanut butter.
16) Gnoll Tea: One parts water, 2 parts victim blood, 1/2 parts lemon, 1/2 parts mango. Best served with torture.

17) Beholder Ramen: Just boil some beholder tentacles in some vegetables, water, and some citrus to have a delicious treat! Unfortunately, you have to gather the ingredients yourself.

18) Ecto-Coffee: Most ghosts don't mind giving a little ectoplasm for a good cause. However, finding a way to keep the coffee in the mug is a different story.

19) Mindflayer Surprise: I can't particularly say what is inside it, but it tastes good, makes you hear voices, and eats your brains.

20) Gelatinous Cube Jello: Delicious and threatening!
  • Find a Gelatinous Cube.
  • Kill it.
  • ???
  • Profit.


21) Warforged Peanut Butter Cube: Insert mental image: Dog eating peanut butter.

The jello would digest you.



In Soviet Russian D&D, food eat you!
Shaman: "Why doesn't the squirrel shoot the wizard?" DM: "Because the last squirrel who tried to shoot the wizard missed, then was pulled out of his tree and incinerated." Wizard: "He has a point."
22) Dire boar and apple pasties

23) Pickled griffon eggs
Time for some dwarf eatins and drinkins

24. Gold Vein. A shot of rum laced with gold flakes and dust, has a significant metallic taste which is unappealing to non-dwarves. Also available as Silver Vein and Copper Vein.

25. Gemstone. Considered a feminine drink in the dwarven halls, this vodka is mixed with small amounts of crushed gemstone.

26. Cave Rat Stew. Cave rat, potatoes, radishes, mushrooms and some spices make this hearty and delicious stew, just what a growing dwarf needs after a hard day at the forge.

27. Dwarven Shocktrooper. This drink is 75% alcohol, and ancient dwarven brewing techniques make it about twice as potent. It was created in the hope of resolving drinking contests faster, and while it didn't succeed at that it did become widely popular outside of dwarven lands. The other 25% of the recipe varies widely and is referred to as 'the beard' of the drink.

28. Tunnel Collapse. There are only 73 bottles of this spirit left in the multiverse. Created by the mad brewer Onar Stonebeard, this drink is so potent and terrible that the church of Moradin has standing orders to destroy any bottles it comes across. Several incidents that have been hushed up speak to the reluctance of the priests and clergy in following said edict. One shot is enough to cause instant inebriation in a dwarf, non dwarves are lucky to remain conscious. It utterly shuts down any inhibitions, under it's influence people will fight, eat, or drink more based on their whims. It can take over two days for the drinker to sober up, and the hangover lasts about a week.
29. Zombie quail. The beauty of this delicacy is that you don't need to let it sit for a week to tenderize it
30. A shot of Hellfire.
A very common drink in Cania and Phlegethos, though it can be found elsewere in the Nine Hells.

31. Pixie Sticks
A Pixie's wings are ground into dust, then they're body is hallowed out and filled with the mystical dust. Invented by Demogorgon.
30. A shot of Hellfire.
A very common drink in Cania and Phlegethos, though it can be found elsewere in the Nine Hells.

Mmmm.


The chosen drink of Warlocks.

Dis would sell it, too, and it might be imported to Sigil or the City of Brass.
Shaman: "Why doesn't the squirrel shoot the wizard?" DM: "Because the last squirrel who tried to shoot the wizard missed, then was pulled out of his tree and incinerated." Wizard: "He has a point."
Mmmm.


The chosen drink of Warlocks.

Dis would sell it, too, and it might be imported to Sigil or the City of Brass.

Yeah. I invented this in my campaign, since one of the Players is evil and secretly spends a lot of time in Baator.
32) Batwing Crunchies: frosted batwings

33) Batmeat Pie: Just like a meat pie, just bat meat

34) Candied Kuo Toa

35) Cheesy Griffin Casserole

36) Gnoll Chops

37) Gnome Kabobs

38) Hot-n-Spicy Toelings: just like hotwings, except halfling toes instead of wings!

39) Lizard-on-a-stick

40) Pickled Pixie

Here's a list of great recipes, might have to re-fluff them though:
http://www.eqtraders.com/articles/article_page.php?article=g33&menustr=080020000000
41. Trivia Beer. Every pint of this refreshing lager contains a random trivia fact that the drinker burps out. The nation of Sordgum has a cow to human ratio of twelve to one.

42. Seer serum. You can taste this drink right before you drink it. When drunk on this strong liqueur, the drinker experiences random flashes of possible future events.

43. Trokk. Barrels of this clear liquid were recovered from the blackeye orc clan when Duke Perishano exterminated them a decade ago. The clear liquid tasted horrible, and it was put down to horrible orcish taste, but the truth is far more gruesome. Trokk must be mixed with blood of humanoids to form a delicious drink which increases the drinkers prowess in battle.

44. Fireflower Tea. Fireflowers grow only in the highest reaches of the tallest mountains. The tea is renown for it's mind focusing powers, although some scholars discount this is superstition because the tea is nonmagical.
45. Crottled Greeps. If you have to ask, you shouldn't be ordering them. Try the poiled slurg instead.
I did something similar to the shot of Hellfire

46. Red Dragon Whiskey. Secret brewing techniques and ingrediants make this potent spirit. Named not because there is dragon in the brew (or is there?) but because after drinking the brew one belches smoke and occasinally a spurt of flame. Slight brimstone-y aftertaste.

47. Barbequed Cockatrice Wings. Wings that get you stoned.
Reminds me of a 2nd Edition Dragonlance book. Leaves From the Inn of the Last Home, at the end they had some of Tika's recipes that could actually be cooked. Below is an example from the book...

48. Gully Dwarf Stew

First obtain meat from 2 medium-sized lizards (or 2lbs of stew meat if lizard is out of season)

2 TBSP Flour 2 times (1 and 1 and 1 and 1 or 4 TBSP or 1/4 cup)
2 potatoes and 1 for pot, mangled (1 and 1 and 1 or 3 potatoes, diced)
2 carrots 2 times, stabbed (1 and 1 and 1 and 1 or 4 carrots sliced)
1 stalk celery, stabbed (sliced)
2 onions, mudered (chopped)
2 bouillon cubes, crushed
2 cups water, burbled (boiling)
1 TSP &#@*! sauce (worcestershire sauce)
2 TBSP parsley, mudered
2 cloves garlic, mashed (minced)
1 bongleberry leaf (a bay leaf may be substituted)
1 TSP red gunk (paprika)
1 TSP salt
1 sneeze black pepper (1/2 tsp)

Womp lizard over the head a couple times.
Throw lizard in pot. Add rest of gunk.
Light big fire under pot.
Take Nap. Or,

Mix flour, salt and pepper in cooking pot.
Trim fat from meat and cut into 1-inch cubes.
Coat meat with flour in pot.
Add crushed bouillon and water; stir.
Add remaining ingrediants; stir

Cover and simmer at lowest heat for 4 to 6 hours, stirring
occassionally, until meat and vegetables are tender.

Green or blue food coloring may be added to create a truly authentic
gully dwarf look.
-49 Magically Enhanced foods. Spells can be used to provide magical effects to appearance and flavour for foods. In addition to boosting and enhancing the flavour and smells of the food.

-Instead of a candle light dinner, have no lights in the room except for the food itself, which all glows and provides it's own light source.

-having images of a beautiful mermaid swimming in a glass or bottle of drink, or a ghostly image of a ship inside of the wine bottle, etc.

-protection from fire spels can allow the serving of foods that would normally be too hot for consumption. It can also be used to cook food combinations that would otherwise be impossible
50. A running joke in our fantasy games is that there are three types of beer in the world: regular beer, beerMAX, and BEERmin. Regular beer is. . . well. . . beer. beerMAX tastes just like beer but kicks as hard as everclear. BEERmin exists in the real world as well. We call it O'Doul's.
51. Pure elemental water.
52. Black Pudding Pudding.
Hmm, I need a signature...
53. Wizard's wine - A dry vintage which has the tendency to make the consumer spout random bits of trivial knowledge that they have studied in the past. (Never anything important, often tidbits of history, mathematics, or arcana lore)
54. (Inspired by #53) Professor Wingnut's Gossip Gulp. One slug of this and you will spout out some random piece of juicy gossip, usually about someone at the table. *Gulp* "Neeshka pads her armor!" :embarrass
great thread!

55. Hypogryph Steaks; they'd be very lean and dense
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