I decided to announce baby #2 using DnD.

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I won't lie, I did steal the idea but it was such a great one.

LOVE IT!!!Congrats. How many XP for having a first one?

  But,seriously...Gripe water is your friend. Helps with colic,hiccups and general fussiness. Hope you have a great one,M.Wink
How much XP do I get for slaying it? Any treasure on it? Any of its body parts I can sell or use to make magical items?
President of the OTTer Research Council on the Universe
Any of its body parts I can sell or use to make magical items?




No but the gold coins it can get you if used right can get magical items.
"The real purpose of socialism is precisely to overcome and advance beyond the predatory phase of human development." -Albert Einstein Resident Left Hand of Stalin and Banana Stand Grandstander Half of the Ambiguously Gay Duo House of Trolls, looking for a partner Wondering what happened to the Star Wars forums?
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141722973 wrote:
And it wasn't ****. It was subjectively concensual sex.
57036828 wrote:
Marketing and design are two different things. For instance the snuggy was designed for people in wheel chairs and marketed to people that are too incompetent to operate a blanket.
75239035 wrote:
I personally don't want him decapitated.
141722973 wrote:
And do not call me a Yank. I am a Québecois, basically your better.
And the greatest post moderation of all time...
58115148 wrote:
I gave that (Content Removed) a to-scale Lego replica. (Content Removed) love to-scale Lego replicas. (ORC_Cerberus: Edited - Vulgarity is against the Code of Conduct)
Any of its body parts I can sell or use to make magical items?




No but the gold coins it can get you if used right can get magical items.


The magical shop ruined DnD, I hate you!
President of the OTTer Research Council on the Universe
Any of its body parts I can sell or use to make magical items?




No but the gold coins it can get you if used right can get magical items.


The magical shop ruined DnD, I hate you!

Magical shops? WTF? I was talking about hookers.
"The real purpose of socialism is precisely to overcome and advance beyond the predatory phase of human development." -Albert Einstein Resident Left Hand of Stalin and Banana Stand Grandstander Half of the Ambiguously Gay Duo House of Trolls, looking for a partner Wondering what happened to the Star Wars forums?
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141722973 wrote:
And it wasn't ****. It was subjectively concensual sex.
57036828 wrote:
Marketing and design are two different things. For instance the snuggy was designed for people in wheel chairs and marketed to people that are too incompetent to operate a blanket.
75239035 wrote:
I personally don't want him decapitated.
141722973 wrote:
And do not call me a Yank. I am a Québecois, basically your better.
And the greatest post moderation of all time...
58115148 wrote:
I gave that (Content Removed) a to-scale Lego replica. (Content Removed) love to-scale Lego replicas. (ORC_Cerberus: Edited - Vulgarity is against the Code of Conduct)
The gono is not magical.
President of the OTTer Research Council on the Universe
As I recall, 1sp is the standard assumption of a commoner's wages in a day, at least in real D&D. Assume, for the sake of argument, that a standard hooker IRL costs $200 a night. About 2/3 of a US minimum wage laborer's weekly paycheck. Translating that to Bob Commoner's pay, call it 3sp. So those gold coins don't just get you hookers; they get you some of the best hookers in a good sized city. Magical item quality? No. But masterwork quality is usually entirely sufficient.
Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Skull Throne! Resident Invisible Man Lurker in the House of Trolls A Testament to My Glory
As I recall, 1sp is the standard assumption of a commoner's wages in a day, at least in real D&D. Assume, for the sake of argument, that a standard hooker IRL costs $200 a night. About 2/3 of a US minimum wage laborer's weekly paycheck. Translating that to Bob Commoner's pay, call it 3sp. So those gold coins don't just get you hookers; they get you some of the best hookers in a good sized city. Magical item quality? No. But masterwork quality is usually entirely sufficient.


They can get you legit magical hookers. Like wizards witches.
"The real purpose of socialism is precisely to overcome and advance beyond the predatory phase of human development." -Albert Einstein Resident Left Hand of Stalin and Banana Stand Grandstander Half of the Ambiguously Gay Duo House of Trolls, looking for a partner Wondering what happened to the Star Wars forums?
Show
Star Wars Minis has a home here http://www.bloomilk.com/ and Star Wars Saga Edition RPG has a home here http://thesagacontinues.createaforum.com/index.php
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141722973 wrote:
And it wasn't ****. It was subjectively concensual sex.
57036828 wrote:
Marketing and design are two different things. For instance the snuggy was designed for people in wheel chairs and marketed to people that are too incompetent to operate a blanket.
75239035 wrote:
I personally don't want him decapitated.
141722973 wrote:
And do not call me a Yank. I am a Québecois, basically your better.
And the greatest post moderation of all time...
58115148 wrote:
I gave that (Content Removed) a to-scale Lego replica. (Content Removed) love to-scale Lego replicas. (ORC_Cerberus: Edited - Vulgarity is against the Code of Conduct)
As I recall, 1sp is the standard assumption of a commoner's wages in a day, at least in real D&D. Assume, for the sake of argument, that a standard hooker IRL costs $200 a night. About 2/3 of a US minimum wage laborer's weekly paycheck. Translating that to Bob Commoner's pay, call it 3sp. So those gold coins don't just get you hookers; they get you some of the best hookers in a good sized city. Magical item quality? No. But masterwork quality is usually entirely sufficient.



200 bucks for a hooker!? Around here the standard price is 20, but it depends on how hard up for cash they are, with my awesome negotiating skills I once talked one down to 5 bucks.
I survived Section 4 and all I got was this lousy sig Off-topic and going downhill from there
As I recall, 1sp is the standard assumption of a commoner's wages in a day, at least in real D&D. Assume, for the sake of argument, that a standard hooker IRL costs $200 a night. About 2/3 of a US minimum wage laborer's weekly paycheck. Translating that to Bob Commoner's pay, call it 3sp. So those gold coins don't just get you hookers; they get you some of the best hookers in a good sized city. Magical item quality? No. But masterwork quality is usually entirely sufficient.



200 bucks for a hooker!? Around here the standard price is 20, but it depends on how hard up for cash they are, with my awesome negotiating skills I once talked one down to 5 bucks.

And how many STDs did you win with that transaction?

Nut Eating Resident Sociopathic Eye Forker 2346-strong Squirrel leigon of DOOM Squirrel Overlord of the House of Trolls Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber. ~Plato Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. ~Ernest Benn The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it. ~P.J. O'Rourke "I actually held public office and I left the only way a politician should, in handcuffs." ~ Chael Sonnen It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it! ~ Upton Sinclair Kicked Adam and Eve out of Missouri. Wears flip-flops in church buildings. Official troller of Kolob.
This is not a trapp
My temple name is Elohim. What is your super-secret temple name?
Riddle me this
How can two people with physical bodies make spirit babies?
*Two points about this gag. Firstly, every writer of anything makes typos and I’m no different. It’s “there but for the grace of God go I” rather than schadenfreude here. The second is something called Muphry’s Law (no, it is Muphry’s, not Murphy’s) which states that any piece correcting or laughing at a typo, spelling or grammatical mistake will contain at least one worse than the original being complained of.
As I recall, 1sp is the standard assumption of a commoner's wages in a day, at least in real D&D. Assume, for the sake of argument, that a standard hooker IRL costs $200 a night. About 2/3 of a US minimum wage laborer's weekly paycheck. Translating that to Bob Commoner's pay, call it 3sp. So those gold coins don't just get you hookers; they get you some of the best hookers in a good sized city. Magical item quality? No. But masterwork quality is usually entirely sufficient.



200 bucks for a hooker!? Around here the standard price is 20, but it depends on how hard up for cash they are, with my awesome negotiating skills I once talked one down to 5 bucks.

And how many STDs did you win with that transaction?


None. For $5 all she did was listen to his troubles.
"The real purpose of socialism is precisely to overcome and advance beyond the predatory phase of human development." -Albert Einstein Resident Left Hand of Stalin and Banana Stand Grandstander Half of the Ambiguously Gay Duo House of Trolls, looking for a partner Wondering what happened to the Star Wars forums?
Show
Star Wars Minis has a home here http://www.bloomilk.com/ and Star Wars Saga Edition RPG has a home here http://thesagacontinues.createaforum.com/index.php
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141722973 wrote:
And it wasn't ****. It was subjectively concensual sex.
57036828 wrote:
Marketing and design are two different things. For instance the snuggy was designed for people in wheel chairs and marketed to people that are too incompetent to operate a blanket.
75239035 wrote:
I personally don't want him decapitated.
141722973 wrote:
And do not call me a Yank. I am a Québecois, basically your better.
And the greatest post moderation of all time...
58115148 wrote:
I gave that (Content Removed) a to-scale Lego replica. (Content Removed) love to-scale Lego replicas. (ORC_Cerberus: Edited - Vulgarity is against the Code of Conduct)
As I recall, 1sp is the standard assumption of a commoner's wages in a day, at least in real D&D. Assume, for the sake of argument, that a standard hooker IRL costs $200 a night. About 2/3 of a US minimum wage laborer's weekly paycheck. Translating that to Bob Commoner's pay, call it 3sp. So those gold coins don't just get you hookers; they get you some of the best hookers in a good sized city. Magical item quality? No. But masterwork quality is usually entirely sufficient.



200 bucks for a hooker!? Around here the standard price is 20, but it depends on how hard up for cash they are, with my awesome negotiating skills I once talked one down to 5 bucks.


I suppose "standard" should have been replaced by "decent quality". Besides, that just makes my point even more. Besides, you live in Ohio, where everything and everyone is so terrible that no prostitute could actually charge more without losing business to the nearest object with a hole in it.
Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Skull Throne! Resident Invisible Man Lurker in the House of Trolls A Testament to My Glory
As I recall, 1sp is the standard assumption of a commoner's wages in a day, at least in real D&D. Assume, for the sake of argument, that a standard hooker IRL costs $200 a night. About 2/3 of a US minimum wage laborer's weekly paycheck. Translating that to Bob Commoner's pay, call it 3sp. So those gold coins don't just get you hookers; they get you some of the best hookers in a good sized city. Magical item quality? No. But masterwork quality is usually entirely sufficient.



200 bucks for a hooker!? Around here the standard price is 20, but it depends on how hard up for cash they are, with my awesome negotiating skills I once talked one down to 5 bucks.


A 5$ hooker?!
Man, I wouldn't touch that with goldos junk.
"War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse."- John Stuart Mill “Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”― William F. Buckley "The straw in your man is amazing."- Maxperson Original Hipster of the House of Trolls: I was hipster before hipster was cool Resident Hater Mini Hate Machine
As I recall, 1sp is the standard assumption of a commoner's wages in a day, at least in real D&D. Assume, for the sake of argument, that a standard hooker IRL costs $200 a night. About 2/3 of a US minimum wage laborer's weekly paycheck. Translating that to Bob Commoner's pay, call it 3sp. So those gold coins don't just get you hookers; they get you some of the best hookers in a good sized city. Magical item quality? No. But masterwork quality is usually entirely sufficient.



200 bucks for a hooker!? Around here the standard price is 20, but it depends on how hard up for cash they are, with my awesome negotiating skills I once talked one down to 5 bucks.


A 5$ hooker?!
Man, I wouldn't touch that with goldos junk.


You're right, no need to steal his job.
"The real purpose of socialism is precisely to overcome and advance beyond the predatory phase of human development." -Albert Einstein Resident Left Hand of Stalin and Banana Stand Grandstander Half of the Ambiguously Gay Duo House of Trolls, looking for a partner Wondering what happened to the Star Wars forums?
Show
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141722973 wrote:
And it wasn't ****. It was subjectively concensual sex.
57036828 wrote:
Marketing and design are two different things. For instance the snuggy was designed for people in wheel chairs and marketed to people that are too incompetent to operate a blanket.
75239035 wrote:
I personally don't want him decapitated.
141722973 wrote:
And do not call me a Yank. I am a Québecois, basically your better.
And the greatest post moderation of all time...
58115148 wrote:
I gave that (Content Removed) a to-scale Lego replica. (Content Removed) love to-scale Lego replicas. (ORC_Cerberus: Edited - Vulgarity is against the Code of Conduct)
Bloody job stealing immigrant!

All jokes aside, I wouldn't do that girl either.

...

...

...

What does she look like? 
President of the OTTer Research Council on the Universe
As I recall, 1sp is the standard assumption of a commoner's wages in a day, at least in real D&D. Assume, for the sake of argument, that a standard hooker IRL costs $200 a night. About 2/3 of a US minimum wage laborer's weekly paycheck. Translating that to Bob Commoner's pay, call it 3sp. So those gold coins don't just get you hookers; they get you some of the best hookers in a good sized city. Magical item quality? No. But masterwork quality is usually entirely sufficient.



200 bucks for a hooker!? Around here the standard price is 20, but it depends on how hard up for cash they are, with my awesome negotiating skills I once talked one down to 5 bucks.


I suppose "standard" should have been replaced by "decent quality". Besides, that just makes my point even more. Besides, you live in Ohio, where everything and everyone is so terrible that no prostitute could actually charge more without losing business to the nearest object with a hole in it.



It sounds like youve spent some time in Ohio before, and its hookers!
I survived Section 4 and all I got was this lousy sig Off-topic and going downhill from there
Like I would sully myself by actually going there? No, I merely extended my gaze there briefly. It was almost as terrible as Florida.
Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Skull Throne! Resident Invisible Man Lurker in the House of Trolls A Testament to My Glory
Like I would sully myself by actually going there? No, I merely extended my gaze there briefly. It was almost as terrible as Florida.


Hey, our hookers are much better quality than Ohio hookers, and they cost more than $5. Actually, funny story. One time I was at this club in Ft. Lauderdale. I go get a drink and walk back to where the group I was with was hanging out. I walk by the dance floor and I see these two hot blondes that looked to be about 20. They were wearing really short and tight dresses. These two girls are making out and feeling each other up. I stop and check out their little show. One of them looks at me and smiles, and this guy walks up next to me. He looks about their age. Skinny guy with blonde hair. His clothes look a bit big for him. He turns to me and asks "You like that?" I tell him "Yeah, looks nice." The guy then says "You can have both for $500." I laughed all the way back to my group. 
Nut Eating Resident Sociopathic Eye Forker 2346-strong Squirrel leigon of DOOM Squirrel Overlord of the House of Trolls Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber. ~Plato Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. ~Ernest Benn The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it. ~P.J. O'Rourke "I actually held public office and I left the only way a politician should, in handcuffs." ~ Chael Sonnen It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it! ~ Upton Sinclair Kicked Adam and Eve out of Missouri. Wears flip-flops in church buildings. Official troller of Kolob.
This is not a trapp
My temple name is Elohim. What is your super-secret temple name?
Riddle me this
How can two people with physical bodies make spirit babies?
*Two points about this gag. Firstly, every writer of anything makes typos and I’m no different. It’s “there but for the grace of God go I” rather than schadenfreude here. The second is something called Muphry’s Law (no, it is Muphry’s, not Murphy’s) which states that any piece correcting or laughing at a typo, spelling or grammatical mistake will contain at least one worse than the original being complained of.
Like I would sully myself by actually going there? No, I merely extended my gaze there briefly. It was almost as terrible as Florida.


Hey, our hookers are much better quality than Ohio hookers, and they cost more than $5.


I was referring to Florida as a whole, not just its hookers. The hookers are obviously better, as it isn't Ohio or one of the other extremely methed-up states.
Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Skull Throne! Resident Invisible Man Lurker in the House of Trolls A Testament to My Glory
Like I would sully myself by actually going there? No, I merely extended my gaze there briefly. It was almost as terrible as Florida.


Hey, our hookers are much better quality than Ohio hookers, and they cost more than $5. Actually, funny story. One time I was at this club in Ft. Lauderdale. I go get a drink and walk back to where the group I was with was hanging out. I walk by the dance floor and I see these two hot blondes that looked to be about 20. They were wearing really short and tight dresses. These two girls are making out and feeling each other up. I stop and check out their little show. One of them looks at me and smiles, and this guy walks up next to me. He looks about their age. Skinny guy with blonde hair. His clothes look a bit big for him. He turns to me and asks "You like that?" I tell him "Yeah, looks nice." The guy then says "You can have both for $500." I laughed all the way back to my group. 


Very, very similar to an experience I had in Savannah GA during St. Paddys Day celebration back in late 80's.
"War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse."- John Stuart Mill “Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”― William F. Buckley "The straw in your man is amazing."- Maxperson Original Hipster of the House of Trolls: I was hipster before hipster was cool Resident Hater Mini Hate Machine
Like I would sully myself by actually going there? No, I merely extended my gaze there briefly. It was almost as terrible as Florida.


Hey, our hookers are much better quality than Ohio hookers, and they cost more than $5.


I was referring to Florida as a whole, not just its hookers. The hookers are obviously better, as it isn't Ohio or one of the other extremely methed-up states.



Flordia is totally methed up, dont you ever whatch the news? And you guys are missing my point, it wasnt a 5 dolla hooker, she was a 20 dolla one, but I talked her down to 5, cause im awesome like that, and I didnt have to pay extra for the stds, those came for free!!
I survived Section 4 and all I got was this lousy sig Off-topic and going downhill from there
This is awesome, sorry your thread turned into a discussion on hookers lol
This is awesome, sorry your thread turned into a discussion on hookers lol


Why be sorry? Hookers are peopel too. 
President of the OTTer Research Council on the Universe
This is awesome, sorry your thread turned into a discussion on hookers lol


Why be sorry? Hookers are peopel too. 

Nuh-uh.  They're cartoonish stick figures.
"Today's headlines and history's judgment are rarely the same. If you are too attentive to the former, you will most certainly not do the hard work of securing the latter." -Condoleezza Rice "My fellow Americans... I've just signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. Bombing begins in five minutes." - Ronald Reagan This user has been banned from you by the letters "O-R-C" and the numbers "2, 3, 4, and 6"
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56788208 wrote:
I do, however, have one last lesson on this subject. That last one? The only build in this post that can one-shot average opponents[by dealing twice as much damage as they have HP? I would argue that it is not optimized. Why isn't it optimized? Because it's overkill. Overkill is NOT optimizing. This means that there are portions of this build dedicated to damage which can safely be removed and thrown elsewhere. For example, you probably don't need both Leap Attack AND Headlong Rush at the same time. You could pick up Extra Rage feats for stamina, feats to support AoO effects, feats that work towards potential prestige classes, and so on. However, you could also shift our ability scores around somewhat. I mean, if you're getting results like that with 16 starting Strength, maybe you can lower it to 14, and free up four points to spend somewhere else - perhaps back into Charisma, giving you some oomph for Intimidating Rage or Imperious Command if you want. You can continue to tune this until it deals "enough" damage - and that "enough" does not need to be "100%". It could easily be, say, 80% (leaving the rest to the team), if your DM is the sort who would ban one-hit killers.
Tempest_Stormwind on Character Optimization
So when do you think Bachmann will be saying she met a mother the previous night that had a son who got a blood transfusion using a gay guy's blood, and now the son is retardedly gay?
When she meets CJ's mom?
Resident Pithed-Off Dragon Poon Slayer of the House of Trolls
This is awesome, sorry your thread turned into a discussion on hookers lol


Why be sorry? Hookers are peopel too. 

Nuh-uh.  They're cartoonish stick figures.

Don't make this about your childhood.
"The real purpose of socialism is precisely to overcome and advance beyond the predatory phase of human development." -Albert Einstein Resident Left Hand of Stalin and Banana Stand Grandstander Half of the Ambiguously Gay Duo House of Trolls, looking for a partner Wondering what happened to the Star Wars forums?
Show
Star Wars Minis has a home here http://www.bloomilk.com/ and Star Wars Saga Edition RPG has a home here http://thesagacontinues.createaforum.com/index.php
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141722973 wrote:
And it wasn't ****. It was subjectively concensual sex.
57036828 wrote:
Marketing and design are two different things. For instance the snuggy was designed for people in wheel chairs and marketed to people that are too incompetent to operate a blanket.
75239035 wrote:
I personally don't want him decapitated.
141722973 wrote:
And do not call me a Yank. I am a Québecois, basically your better.
And the greatest post moderation of all time...
58115148 wrote:
I gave that (Content Removed) a to-scale Lego replica. (Content Removed) love to-scale Lego replicas. (ORC_Cerberus: Edited - Vulgarity is against the Code of Conduct)