Mini's that should be Banned (a satire)

Hello everyone. Since the GOWK ban is forthcoming, I thought I would open the floodgates for other potential bans so we can get the ball rolling and just send this game in the spiraling direction of D&D. (Note this is a satire so if you can't take a joke: get over it.) (if you don't know what a satire is, well come first of July, Obi-wan can no longer help you.)

Klatoonian Enforcer- let's face it, he's broken, he don't work, he's not worth the card he's printed on. Putting him in a squad is an act of charity. Charity ruins the meta, hence he should be banned.

Boba Fett, Bounty Hunter- I can't believe they made a miniature that can Evade and fly around. How dare they? Plus banning him would save people from that pesky disintegration ability, which is a dead give away that your opponent is using a loaded dice. He's too powerful.

Zayne Carrick- Let's face it, if you roll and odd number for initiative, he is way too powerful for his point cost. Plus he can reroll saves with Mettle. So what if he takes damage or sucks on an even roll, he's too risky for meta use, he gotta go.

Jawa- They can kill droids, and hinder the Separatist meta build. Not like they'd win in T1 anyway, but hey. can't have some fringe hick character that steals hubcaps interfering with droids with Seps like that.

Yoda of Dagobah- Ok, so he's small green, speaks backwards and looks like a bum. So what that he can't attack. He overpowers Rebel Squads, he stuns people, and giving light side Rebels a force battery is just unfair for the Empire and other dark siders. The game requires balance. Send him packing.

Jagged Fel- he has New Rep affinity, thus he is a traitor to the dark side Imperial faction. For ten points, he's a fairly good shooter and has a pretty nice CE. He damages the meta too much. He's too OP for ten points. He needs to be banned.

Exar Kuun- Let's face it, he punishes you for playing a force user. He's a hypocrite. he needs to be put down like the animals he beefs up. Plus he can just kill hard working union ewoks or uggies by just popping in on them. That ain't right. Equal pay for equal 3 point miniatures. Down with the man.

Nute Gunray- Do I really need to go there? he is a danger only to himself. Not to sound elitist, but banning him will be better for the game. Trust me, I've play tested this a lot.

Mandalorian Blademasters- They have soresu (wait, that was errated to negate all attacks, actually it was that way to begin with.) Oops I mean they have Parry and are cheap. (can't imagine how I got those confused)

Jacen Solo- He is the lawnmower man, which means he shows up every couple weeks and cuts your grass. Weed eating costs extra. he can also kill a lot of trash, provided the trash has killed something of yours first. Plus he becomes Overpowered when you hurt his dear old mother, or blow her planet up. Pity she wasn't on that planet when it happend.


More ban potentials coming soon. Enjoy :D
Hello everyone. Since the GOWK ban is forthcoming thanks to the elitist opinion of a select few,

Generally starting a thread off like this is not the brightest idea. Just because you said it is a satire doesn't give you license to say what you want.

Well of course if you are like Ricky Bobby and think that the Geneva Convention makes such accords.
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I think the elitist thing been said enough at this point, and satires must have something in them people can agree with. Thus their purpose. Read last of first paragraph for further instruction.
I think it's been said enough at this point. Read last of first paragraph for further instruction.

yes well sticking a jab in the middle of a joke makes it no less of a jab.

If someone called you the north end of a southbound donkey in the middle of a joke they were telling I guess you would think it is ok????
team revan Collection: 801/801 SWM DCI Content Manager sith holonews network
that depends on what kind of donkey it is I suppose.
One of my old teacher's once said the best jokes make you laugh and wince at the same time. Plus with all the elitist comments, insults and subtle accusations on some of the other boards right now, I don't think it is bad form to make light of it in a comedic sense. Love the post. I haven't been this entertained since the Final Word debate over Death Star's and Wal-Mart. Bravo.
ban them all because it would be cool ohh but not the 3 point uggies then its a game of who can hit who also give them a defense of 18. On a natural 20 all figures are removed form the game and it ends in a tie that's fair no one loses often and we all have the same figures. Also new point values for games 3,6,9 only.
Hello everyone. Since the GOWK ban is forthcoming...:D

Is this confirmed or hinted at? and if so were? or is this something else?
To continue the thread, I want to say that ban:
- Luke Pilot Unleashed : come on guys, no one has the right to touch GOWK, so why a 28 points mini can make him lose 1/3 of his life because of using 4 Force points in light of sight? Come on, ban him, he doesn't make the game fun.
- VSA Redeemed : Like I said (and everybody is agree:D ) NO ONE has the right to touch GOWK. Ok, VSA has 48 points, but no, no and no. There is no way he can make GOWK lose 1/3 of his life with 4 Force points. And with 130 Hit Points and 22 Defense. He makes me sick. S-I-C-K.
- Every Disruptive boys and girls : It MUST be forbidden to take the bonus of GOWK out of his followers. What the Hell did Wizard think about when they created Disruptive???


I LOVE this thread!! :D :D :D :D :D
I hear Voices in my head They council me They understand They talk to me...
That would be the attitude lately on these boards.

I've decided that because of the rampant stupidity spreading like a plague across these boards, I will now be posting pictures instead of typed sentences, because even a chimp can understand a photo, and it's worth a thousand words. Yeah!
I am glad people are saying what needs to be said. The fact is that GOWK is the only thing that is making Republic good.
I've decided that because of the rampant stupidity spreading like a plague across these boards, I will now be posting pictures instead of typed sentences, because even a chimp can understand a photo, and it's worth a thousand words. Yeah!

I totally understand the reasoning there. The rash of GOWK threads lately are lacking in intelligent conversation.
I totally understand the reasoning there. The rash of GOWK threads lately are lacking in intelligent conversation.

Oh, you mean like the "Ban me" thread?
Other minis that should be banned:

Ewok Hangglider: Real ewok hanggliders fly without hitting anything but the ground. EH should not have an attack bonus and needs to be banned.

Varactyl Wrangler: No bleeding way is a Reek going to stop bashing around just because some squat, ugly little twit tells him to.

Darth Vader (all but one of them): Seriously, there was only one Darth Vader in the movie series. This is getting out of control.

Bacta Tank: You can give them evade. How does this happen? I think a nice BAN would iron that discrepancy right out.
Minis which should be banned:
THE NEXT GRIEVOUS

OMB!!!- how are they going to one-up the previous one?
GGDAC was nearly 99.9 Percent almost broken.
LEAKED SOURCES say it will be ANOTHER 3% broken putting it at 102.9% broken, therefore SURPASSING all other minis in brokenness. A ban will no doubt take place the instant the stats are revealed.
Ugnaught Demolitionist - Seriously, he shows up in more squads than GOWK. The elitists say that GOWK is dominating the meta, what about these little door busters? They've been dominating since Champions of the Force! Who knows how many discouraged players have cried into their pillow at night because of these guys, only to eventually sell their collections and quit the game altogether?

Boba Fett, Bounty Hunter - Everyone moans about evade and disintegration to conceal what ability really makes this guy dangerous: Unique! Boba Fett, Young Mercenary just isn't getting a fair chance these days. Ban the Fett!

Dash Rendar - +6 attack WITH opportunist? And he's FRINGE? That's it, I'm sick of seeing this guy show up and dominate DCI. I will be posting a petition to have Dash Rendar, rare from Universe (a broken set if their ever was one) banned from DCI and casual play! I'm sick of having my GOWK PWND by this overpowered, undercosted, murder machine.

Ewok - Do you realize, that this COMMON gets stronger with each other 3 point ewok you put him with? In a 200 point game you can't miss! Either ban them or make them unique! I vote ban!
Bacta Tank: You can give them evade. How does this happen? I think a nice BAN would iron that discrepancy right out.

Maybe the Bacta Tank was built by Doctor Snuggles?
And maybe I'm now showing my age :D
Characters with melee

Or

Characters without melee

:D
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People have obviously forgotten the biggest elephant in the room:

The Nitko Soldier. They're fringe, they've had reprints, they obviously have no place in DCI games where they might dominate.
Gosh-darn it I lost my signature.
I would rather see the card recosted and reprinted for download than banned. It can be DCI legal and just about everyone has GOWK so there shouldn't be any tears about devaluing an expensive piece, because he's easy to pick up. I think changing the Soresu to "adjacent only" would satisfy most, or secondly recosting the mini without Soresu changed, up to say 70-ish points.


Jedy Academy needs to e banned!!!1!!!one
Can you imagine, when it comes out, it might affect the meta. If we ban GOWK AND Jedi Academy the ultimate power of my speedy cannon rebel squad shal be unleashed upon all and nothing will stop us!

Long live the Rebellion, it shall rule the Galaxy for untold eons!!!!!!1111!!!!!one!!

Down with GOWK and Jedy Academy!!!!000000One!!!!!one000!!!!!

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ohhh... I have another one!


I have a dream! I have a dream of world where not just the G-mini, but the G-word ITSELF is banned!

I have a dream of a world where all squads, will be judged for their merit and not how they counter the g-mini.

I have a dream that one day this board will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all miniature are created equal.'

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of SWM maps the sons of pro-banners and the sons of anti-banners will be able to sit down together at a table and play SWM without the G-mini.

Now is the time to lift our board from the quicksand of banning to the solid rock of boardhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of the galaxy's miniature.

It would be fatal for the board to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the G-mini banning discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Two-thousand-and-nine is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the banners needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual.

I can't believe it took me this long to figure out that you all weren't being serious. I was about to start disagreeing with almost everything said!

That said...

Everything with Override should be banned! Doors should not be able to open and close by being looked at!!! :P
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Per the original post, I would like to suggest that Zayne Carrick ONLY be banned during rounds in which you roll an odd initiative.

I also strongly advise banning the Republic faction (and possibly the Rebels, as well).

Of course, the most obvious ban is the Ugnaught Demolotionist. They are way too good for their cost, and have dominated the meta for far too long. I'm sick of them in virtually every squad.
Mouse Droids as well. Granting cover? I think not.
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Ohhh... I have another one!


I have a dream! I have a dream of world where not just the G-mini, but the G-word ITSELF is banned!

I have a dream of a world where all squads, will be judged for their merit and not how they counter the g-mini.

I have a dream that one day this board will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all miniature are created equal.'

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of SWM maps the sons of pro-banners and the sons of anti-banners will be able to sit down together at a table and play SWM without the G-mini.

Now is the time to lift our board from the quicksand of banning to the solid rock of boardhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of the galaxy's miniature.

It would be fatal for the board to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the G-mini banning discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Two-thousand-and-nine is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the banners needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual.


Excellent read! Pretty much made my day! lol

For my part, I think this thread should be banned. It completely unbalances the forum and creates confusion about about what the meta was, is, and could become in the near future. It completely dominates the board and replaces all other subjects of conversation. I say ban it, and if a counter-argument arises, we may think about it and eventually unban it.

Also, we should definately ban every forum member who posted it this thread, they clearly have too much influence over the game. It's not safe for them to keep winning all arguments. For the good of the game, they have to go.

And, we shall have peace.
Darth Waste, Endbringer
Exar Kun- Let's face it, he punishes you for playing a force user. He's a hypocrite. he needs to be put down like the animals he beefs up. Plus he can just kill hard working union ewoks or uggies by just popping in on them. That ain't right. Equal pay for equal 3 point miniatures. Down with the man.

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And what about Gha Nackht!

Not only is his last name weird and hard to spell, he gives you a 3-point shooter!!! Yes, now for three points, you get a character with 17 defense, 8 attack, and four attacks! (A small amount of low-cost support pieces and cover might be necessary.) Not to mention his net cost is negative if you include enough Battle Droids. Just think of the destruction he would bring in the 500-point format!! After 84,939 games of playtesting, I conclude that with GOWK gone, this Battle Droids would conquer the game!!! We MUST STOP this!!!!
Quote from Emporerdragon: And I'd consider comparing it to the voxyn a poor comparison. The voxyn was a 1-beast army capable of reducing entire squads to ruin without breaking a single drop of acidic sweat. The box is a ****ing box. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55% of plepoe can.I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! fi yuo cna raed tihs, palce it in yuor siantugre. Everyone else has a lightsaber, but i made a saberstaff. ==========================>IIIIIIIIYYYYIIIIIIII(========================== My sig was way better before the dark times... before the BETA.
Per the original post, I would like to suggest that Zayne Carrick ONLY be banned during rounds in which you roll an odd initiative.

LOL!!!

If they do ban GOWK I hope it doesn't backfire. For example, what if GOWK turned out to be one of the few figs that can deal with GMLS... then banning GOWK would actually make things worse. I can imagine a few other scenarios like this as well (i.e., push squads, KK battlemaster squads, etc.).

I was initially in favor of the ban, but after the regional results I'm mixed (I am thankful I don't have to make the decision, and I don't envy the person or people who do).
Darth Vader Dark Jedi - Come on; this guy is just broken. Infinite attack to all your stormtroopers? And hes so powerful, he can take out an AT-AT just because it misses horrible once. Ban him.

Luke Skywalker Rebel - Anyone else think of filling your squad with C3POs and sending them off to die? This guy becomes a walking energy turret. Forget Han Canon, this guy is unstoppable.

Darth Maul, Sith Apprentice - If you put him with Malak, Sidious, Nihl, Krayt, and Revan, he is so overpowered its not even funny. With just 268 points of commanders, this guy runs around with 4 attacks criting left and right. And to boot, he gets another free attack every time he crits. Don't forget his impentrable defense. Ban him.

Palpatine on Throne - Cmon people! This is a family game. We don't want no minis of old people in compromising positions. They couldn't have made him "Palpatine in an Outhouse"; we coulda gotten PG-13 on that. BAN!!

Obi-Wan Jedi Master - Let some other Obi-Wans see some play. In DCI all you get is Obi JM Obi JM. Theres more to the republic than all these obi wan squads. Anakin is also broken when used with this outrageous figure.

Grevious's Wheelbike - Speed 10 and base 30 damage!? And the base size? They could have easily made him a medium.

Gran Raider - Since when did Star Wars allow terrorists? These guys are a danger to themselves and everyone around them. Anything that can be described as an invisible walking smartbomb has to go.

Captain Rex - Enough with these godly republic commanders! Why not just make a really undercosted shooter with incredible damage? That woulda been reasonable. But noooo, they had to give another game-breaking republic commander. The clones are simply too difficult to beat in the current meta.

Komari Vosa - MADNESS! Quaduple attack at a range!? How does she even shoot people anyway. Errata that jedi-whirlwind-sniper or better still - BAN HER

General Rieekan - He hacked starwars minis. He has his own personal laws of physics. How else do you teach a goliath turret how to ninja dodge Boba Fett? This guy is too powerful. Even worse - How did he teach REBEL TROOPERS to dodge?? Send him off

Anamin Scout - I almost cried when my opponent sent one in on a suicide mission. The mental trauma caused by consicously ordering those blademasters to hack a poor, happy frog to death is too powerful. This guy has caused many a player to give up starwars minis and become a nature-loving-hippie.
I know he hasn't been released yet but I've play tested him a lot and we totally need to ban Grand Master Luke Skywalker. I know he's supposed to be the most powerful character in the game but he's really just too strong. And if you think he's not that tough then he's way over costed, ruining the New Republic meta and should therefore also be banned.
Sleep and Woot.

Ban Sleep and Woot.
Darth Maul, Sith Apprentice - If you put him with Malak, Sidious, Nihl, Krayt, and Revan, he is so overpowered its not even funny. With just 268 points of commanders, this guy runs around with 4 attacks criting left and right. And to boot, he gets another free attack every time he hits. Don't forget his impentrable defense. Ban him.

Nearly hurt myself laughing so hard at this one.
I second the ban on the Uggie Demo. His cost cutting buisness practices are putting thousands of Republic Commandos and Jedi Sentinels out of work.
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Jedi Weapons Master - Totally ruining the Jedi tradition of being overcosted blaster targets.

Loda - Give a farmkid a muppet toy and he becomes one of the most powerful characters in the game? Come on!!!

Human Scoundrel - One of these killed my Cade Skywalker once.

Bith Black Sun Vigo - No Keanu Reeves Matrix-watching wannabees allowed!
Wow! talk about a crappy list. GOWK is the only thing that has a Good reason to be banned
Hello everyone. Since the GOWK ban is forthcoming...

I guess you know something that the rest of us don't? Who's your source? If you're right good ridance to him. Of course in 5 days I guess we'll all know.


I say we ban every character who does more than base 20 damage and any character who has special abilites that can make them have better then base 20 damage. With the exception of the Vong who need 8 different pieces within 6 squares to do any damage at all without thud bugs.
Best gaming community in the world. My collection is proof. 2009 SWM RAC member 795 Club member Over 75 Good trades, Zero Negatives You can check out my squads at Bloomilk, or share in more conversations at SWMGAMERS "There is always a choice..."
Wow! talk about a crappy list. GOWK is the only thing that has a Good reason to be banned

Okay, do I not get your joke?

Or do you not get THE joke?
Okay, do I not get your joke?

Or do you not get THE joke?

I can honestly say I didn't get the joke at first :D. My sense of humor is lacking when it comes to GOWK talk.
Okay, do I not get your joke?

Or do you not get THE joke?

Your mom doesn't get the joke. (Sorry couldn't help myself)
Best gaming community in the world. My collection is proof. 2009 SWM RAC member 795 Club member Over 75 Good trades, Zero Negatives You can check out my squads at Bloomilk, or share in more conversations at SWMGAMERS "There is always a choice..."
"The joke is in your hands."

I now wonder why I just quoted that movie.

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