1001 Silly Spells

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D&D is entirely too serious sometimes. I'd like to see a few fun, balanced spells that serve a useful purpose, but which have comical, wacky, or absurd visual effects. Share whatever you come up with, but make sure it's a fully fleshed-out concept. Other DMs may well want to steal a spell or two for their local insane wizard's spellbook. =)

Make sure to number your spells so we can have a decent frame of reference.

Here's a few to start it off:

(1) Ray of Spaghetti
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Sor/Wiz 1
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: One creature
Duration: 1 round/level (D)
Saving Throw: Reflex negates
Spell Resistance: No

You create a series of rope-like spaghetti strands that fly from your hand and wrap around the target's body. If the target fails its save, it is entangled for the duration of the spell. An entangled creature can use a full-round action to make a DC 20 Escape Artist check or a DC Strength check to break free of the strands.

Material Component: A pinch of oregano.

(2) Storm of Bubbles
Evocation
Level: Sor/Wiz 1
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Personal
Effect: 20-ft. radius burst, centered on caster
Duration: 1 round/level (D)
Saving Throw: See text
Spell Resistance: Yes

A storm of thousands of fist-sized globular bubbles explodes outward from the caster. Everyone in the burst (except the caster) must make a Reflex save or become blinded for 1d4 rounds. Creatures in the area of the storm gain concealment (20% miss chance).

Any wind stronger than a breeze disperses a storm of bubbles in one round. Any area effect which deals damage destroys a storm of bubbles.

(3) Animate Fruitcake
Transmutation
Level: Sor/Wiz 5
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Effect: One fruitcake up to size Small
Duration: 1 round/level
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: Yes

You magically animate any one fruitcake of size Small or less. A fruitcake has the statistics of an animated object of its size, but has 5 points of hardness, an additional 10 hit points, and a +4 Strength enhancement bonus. Fruitcakes also have immunity to acid as an extraordinary special ability.

The favored means of attack for a fruitcake is to bodily hurl itself against its opponents as a slam attack. If a fruitcake succeeds on its slam attack in a given round against an opponent, it can attempt to climb into an opponent's mouth with a grapple check as a free action. If it succeeds, the opponent cannot speak for as long as the fruitcake maintains the grapple. Creatures without mouths cannot be grappled by the fruitcake.

As animated objects, fruitcakes have no Intelligence score, but they can speak a number of preprogrammed phrases. Fruitcakes use these to taunt their opponents at random intervals, uttering vile epithets and grievous insults about the parentage of combatants.

Reducing an animated fruitcake to 0 hit points or less causes it to explode. Everyone within a 10-foot radius of the blast must make a Reflex save or be coated with a foul-smelling berry ichor, which imposes a -4 penalty to Charisma until removed. The ichor can be removed with a full-round action.

Material Component: A piece of fruitcake at least one year old.


I think the fruitcake should attempt to jump in the targets mouth, at which point it has to make a fortitude save to avoid becoming naeusiated.
Another one, just for kicks.

(4) Prismatic Clothes
Evocation
Level: Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Target: One humanoid creature
Duration: See text
Saving Throw: Fortitude negates
Spell Resistance: Yes

The subject's skin and clothing are suffused in a nimbus of rapidly shifting hues, flashing in all colors of the visible spectrum. Any garments or skin affected by prismatic clothes shed light as bright as a torch.

Any creatures that come within a 10-foot radius of the subject who fail their saving throw are blinded for 1d4 rounds by the garishly flashing colors. Creatures within 30 feet are dazzled for 1d4 rounds if they fail their saving throw.

The shifting colors last for one round per caster level.
The fruitcake should not only try to get eaten, it should be verbal about it.

"You are gonna eat me and there's nothing you can do it about. Take your fruitcake like a man!"
Animate fruitcake updated as per Tarkin's suggestion. ;) Some possible animated fruitcake phrases for use in your campaign:

<> "I bet your mother was a fruitcake!"
<> "Over the lips, and through the gums, look out stomach, here it comes!" (Fruitcake detonates itself.)
<> "Take your fruitcake like a man!"
<> "I'm not the only fruitcake in here!"
This could come in handy for rogues when picking out gullible targets. =)

(5) Detect Idiots
Divination
Level: Sor/Wiz 0
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 60 ft.
Area: Cone-shaped emanation
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute/level (D)
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No

You detect the intelligence levels of humanoid creatures of less than average intelligence. You must be able to see creatures to discern their intelligence. The amount of information revealed depends on how long you study a particular area or subject.

1st Round: Presence or absence of idiots.

2nd Round: Number of different idiots and the Intelligence of the dumbest one.

3rd Round: The Intelligence and location of each idiot. Any creatures with Intelligence scores of 8 points or lower glow with a dull white light to your sight. The intensity of the aura is based on the Intelligence of the idiot:

Intelligence Aura<br /> ==========================<br /> 8 Faint<br /> 6-7 Moderate<br /> 4-5 Strong<br /> 3 Overwhelming

Creatures with no Intelligence score or of animal intelligence are not subject to this spell.

Material Component: A dunce's hat.
I wish I had a spell like that in real life. Or maybe not. I think I would find the results to be rather depressing.
An amusing party trick or a way to slow down pesky wizards with bad Fort saves.

(6) Fatsplosion
Transmutation
Level: Sor/Wiz 6
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Target: One humanoid creature
Duration: 1 round/level
Saving Throw: Fortitude negates
Spell Resistance: Yes

You transmute the affected creature into a bloated mockery of its previous self. The creature's size increases to Large, gaining benefits for a size increase as per enlarge person.

However, the creature's weight balloons to sixteen times its original value. The subject's movement is limited to 10 feet per round, and it cannot fly, run, jump, bull rush, or charge. As a full-round action, it can move up to its normal speed.

Because of its unwieldy bulk and size, it is difficult for the creature to move around. It takes a -8 penalty to all Dexterity-based skill checks and suffers a 10% arcane spell failure chance. The copious layers of magical fat do serve to provide it a measure of protection, though; the creature gains damage reduction 5/adamantine.

Fatsplosion counters and dispels reduce person. A creature under the effect of fatsplosion is not affected by slow effects.

Material Component: A small quantity of lard.
*Not* popular at children's birthday parties.

(7) Phantasmal Clown
Illusion (Phantasm) [Fear, Mind-Affecting]
Level: Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Target: One living creature
Duration: See text
Saving Throw: Will disbelief (if interacted with), then Will partial; see text
Spell Resistance: Yes

You create a phantasmal image of a horrific, frightening clown in the subject's mind, instilling potent fear. Only the spell’s subject can see the phantasmal clown; you see only a vague shape. The target first gets a Will save to recognize the image as unreal. If that save fails, the clown touches the subject, and the subject must succeed on another Will save or become panicked for 1 round/level. Even if the second save is successful, the subject is frightened for 1 round.

If the subject of a phantasmal clown attack succeeds in disbelieving and is wearing a helm of telepathy, the clown can be turned upon you. You must then disbelieve it or become subject to its fear attack.
Michael Jackson's Irresistible Dance

Enchantment
Level: Brd 6
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 full round action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: 1 creature/lvl in range
Duration: 2d6 rounds plus caster's Charisma modifier
Saving Throw: Will negs
Spell Resistance: No

This spell creates a misterious music in the air, which can only be heard by the creatures affected by it. Soon after hearing the music, the afflicted creatures will start making strange movements, which resemble dancing, like moonwalking. All dancing creatures can't do anything on their rounds beside dancing and they lose any dexterity bonus they might have on their Armor Class. Unlike other mind-affecting spells, Michael Jackson's Irresistible Dance can affect undead ((Thriller anyone?)), but not plants or other creatures that are unable to listen.
"Nubile young children receive a -8 penalty on their Will saving throws..." =P
Just hope they don't get under your platemail.

(9) Cone of Lobsters
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 30-ft.
Area: Cone-shaped burst
Duration: 1 round/3 levels
Saving Throw: Reflex negates; see text
Spell Resistance: Yes

A cloud of hundreds of lobsters spews from your outstretched hands, flying through the air and impacting anyone in their way.

Creatures in the area must make a saving throw or suffer 1d4 damage per level, to a maximum of 10d4. A saving throw is allowed to halve the damage. The remaining lobsters fall to the ground, layering the area with the snapping crustaceans. Creatures who fail their saves have been grabbed by numerous lobster claws and find it painful to move. Each time they take a movement action, they must make a Fortitude save or take an additional 1d4 points of damage.
Otto's Rhinestone Pants
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Sor/Wiz 0/Bard 0
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: one pair of pants
Duration: instantaneous
Saving Throw: none.
Spell Resistance: Yes

This spell turns any pair of normal, non-fancy, non-rhinestoned pants, trousers, slacks, strides, pantaloons, hose or any other leg and loins-covering male garment into a glittering rhinestone version. They immediately become stylish and fashionable to certain people, abhorrent to others.
Arcane Component- rhinestones, glue and a little imagination.


Protection from Elephants
Abjuration
Level: Sor/Wiz 1/Bard 1/Paladin 1/Ranger 1/Cleric 1/Druid 1
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Self
Duration: 1 minute/lvl
Saving Throw: none.
Spell Resistance: Yes.

This spell creates a shimmering field that completely blocks mind-control, possession (magic jar and such) and mind affecting magic cast by elephants. It gives a +2 bonus to AC and saves vs elephants.

Magic Meat Missile
Evocation
Level: Sor/Wiz 1
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium
Saving Throw: Will partial.
Spell Resistance: Yes.

This spell creates one steak (or haddock if cast underwater) per 3 levels (up to 3) from thin air, which flies unerringly towards the selected target. Upon hitting the target, it deals 1d6+1 per level (up to 5th) and confuses the target for 1 round as they wonder where the hell that steak (or haddock) just came from. Successive castings at the same target negate the confusion penalty unless the target fails a DC 10 INT check.


Sacfirice Elminster
Conjuration (Summoning, Evil)
Level: Epic
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 full-round action
Duration: instantaneous
Saving Throw: None, Elminster would make it otherwise.
Spell Resistance: No, read above.

This spell allows a caster to summon and sacfirice Elminster, who is such a munchkin, to do what the hell he damned-well pleases including (but not limited to)- breaking any one rule, or more, enhancing himself in a way not usually possible or do something that most would consider highly unlikely and rules-rorty. Casting this spell sacrifices one Elminster. Future castings require other Elminsters, or a resurrected Elminster. While summoned, Elminster may only look around bewildered and wonder why he can't do anything.
Arcane Component- Elminster
I'm not so sure sacrifice Elminster should have the 'evil' descriptor. It's more like it should have the 'extremely well-deserved comeuppance, you snobby little bastard' descriptor.
(13) Flabberghast
Necromancy
Level: Clr 3
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 hour
Range: Personal
Effect: 20-ft.-radius burst
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Will negates; see text
Spell Resistance: Yes

A burst of feel-good vibes pulses out into the area around you when you cast the flabberghast spell. Undead caught in the burst must make a saving throw or be stunned for 1 round.

The spell is especially effective against ghosts, ghasts, morghs, and ghouls, as well as any other undead creature whose name contains 'gh'. Those caught in the spell must make a saving throw at a -4 penalty or become stunned for 2d4 rounds.
Everybody knows druids are hippies, so it makes perfect sense that they should have this spell.

(14) Metals to Petals
Transmutation
Level: Drd 7
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 round
Range: Personal
Effect: 30-ft.-radius burst
Duration: 1 minute/level (D)
Saving Throw: Fortitude negates; see text
Spell Resistance: Yes (object)

You raise your hands heavenward and bring them down in a sweeping motion. As you do so, metal objects in the area instantly transform into tulips, daffodils, and other wildflowers, usually accompanied by a burst of petals from the flower as the change finishes.

Unattended metal objects do not receive a saving throw and instantly become pretty (but quite useless) flowers. Objects being carried or worn receive a saving throw to avoid the spell's effects. If they save, they become covered with a shower of harmless petals but are not transmuted; otherwise, they blossom into flowers. Metal objects of a given size become flowers of that size, or large bunches of smaller flowers; thus, a dagger might become a morning glory while a greataxe becomes a large sunflower.

A creature wielding a flower is considered unarmed; likewise, a creature wearing armor made of flowers has no armor benefit. Magical powers of transmuted items are not suppressed, so a +3 platemail still provides a +3 enhancement bonus to AC even when transmuted to flowers. Flowers have hardness 1, 2 hit points per inch of thickness, and a break DC of 3. A single flower has hardness 0, 1 hit point, and a break DC of 1.

When the spell expires, the transmuted objects revert back to their original form. If they were destroyed in flower form, they are destroyed when they revert as well.
Here are a few spells created by Gideon Silvereyes, the five year old sorcerer prodigy son of powerful wizards.

The first spell he thought up so that he could always have something sweet to eat, even if his parents had told him that he couldn't have desert anytime he wanted.

The second spell made it possible for him to go off and keep playing when he was supposed to be in bed sleeping.

The third spell was created as a prank and as a source of free marbles for playing games.

The fourth spell was developed to protect him from those big nasty men that would occasionally be hired to kidnap him.

Enjoy!

Gideon's Pastry Conjuration
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Sor/Wiz 0
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 full round
Range: Personal
Effect: 1 pastry
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No

When this spell is cast, a single serving of any type of pastry appears in your hand. This pastry is non-magical and normal in all respects.


Gideon's Nanny Decoy
Illusion (Shadow)
Level: Sor/Wiz 1
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 full round
Range: 10 ft.
Target: 1 bed, mat, or other sleeping place
Duration: 10 minutes/level (D)
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No

When this spell is cast, it creates an quasi-real illusion of the caster asleep on a bed, mat, bench, floor, or other place normally used for sleeping. The illusion includes visual, sound, scent, and temperature tactile elements. Careful examination by touch of the illusion will cause it to collapse into nothingness, but any examinations that rely on anything other than touch show that the illusion is real. Anything as simple and gentle as a blanket being placed over the illusion will not end it.

The caster's sleeping double will vanish when commanded by the caster, when firmly touched, or when 10 minutes per caster level have passed (whichever is shorter).


Gideon's Marbles
Conjuration (Creation) [Earth]
Level: Sor/Wiz 2
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Area: One 5 ft. x 5 ft. square/level
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Reflex half (see text)
Spell Resistance: No

This spell causes dozens of 1/2 inch diameter spheres of smooth polished marble to appear 10 feet above the ground and fall onto anything below. Creatures in the area of effect suffer 1d4 points of damage, plus 1 point per 2 caster levels (maximum 1d4+5).

After they fall, the marbles remain (they are non-magical). Any creature attempting to walk within the area of marbles must make a Balance check (DC 10) to remain upright, failure means falling prone for 1 round. Creatures running or fighting in the area must make a Balance check (DC 15) at the start of their action or else fall prone for 1 round. Creatures that are flying or otherwise not physically standing on the marbles are not affected.

Focus: A polished marble sphere.


Gideon's Cuddly Transformation
Transmutation
Level: Sor/Wiz 6
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: 1 creature
Duration: 1 hour/level (D)
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes

This spell temporarily transforms a single creature into a 1 foot tall plush toy, a caricature of the target. The transformed creature can still think, see, and hear, but it is in all other ways an inanimate object. The transformed creature retains it's normal hit points, and any magical effects that affected it at the time of transformation still function normally.

The transformed creature remains in it's new form until the caster dismisses the magic or until 1 hour per caster level has passed.

IMAGE(http://www.amethyst-dragon.com/Aenea/TopFrame/aenea2.gif)
IMAGE(http://www.amethyst-dragon.com/Aenea/TopFrame/aenea.gif)

Original Spells: 346 and counting
Original Items: 27 and counting

www.amethyst-dragon.com/Aenea
IMAGE(http://www.amethyst-dragon.com/Aenea/TopFrame/aenea2.gif)
- All spells, items, and concepts in Aenea use 3.0 rules.
- Spells listing a domain are either domain spells or normal
spells that appear on the spell list of clerics with that domain.

IMAGE(http://www.amethyst-dragon.com/Aenea/TopFrame/aenea2.gif)
Hehe, transforming a demilich with cuddly transformation and permanency-ing it up would be awesome. You could start your own line of stuffed monsters and have a new toy craze going around the realms.
Arcane Component- rhinestones, glue and a little imagination.

I'm not so sure sacrifice Elminster should have the 'evil' descriptor. It's more like it should have the 'extremely well-deserved comeuppance, you snobby little bastard' descriptor.

Yeah, I was gonna give it the Good descriptor, but unfortunately even killing and sacrificing people who deserve it is still evil...
(19) Disco Floor
Illusion (Pattern) [Mind-Affecting]
Level: Sor/Wiz 7
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Effect: 20-ft. square of flashing floors
Duration: 1 round/level (D)
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes

You place a magical pattern of rapidly shifting colors and lights on the floor. Creatures in the spell effect who fail their saving throw can do nothing but bust a move and suavely run their hands over their body for the duration of the spell, standing in place. This imposes a -4 penalty to the subject's Armor Class and negates any AC bonuses provided by a shield the target holds. Subjects also take a -8 penalty to their Reflex saving throws.

Taking a hostile action against any creature under the influence of disco floor immediately ends the spell for that creature.

Material Component: A spherical silver ball with many reflective facets.
(20) Antiantimagic Field
Abjuration
Level: Clr 8, Magic 7, Protection 7, Sor/Wiz 7
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Effect: 10-ft.-radius field
Duration: 1 round/level
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: See text

You generate a stationary, invisible field of reinforced magic. All spells whose points of origin are in the field gain an effective +4 to their DC for purposes of dispel checks.

An antimagic field fails to suppress an antiantimagic field. A mage's disjunction can dispel an antiantimagic field, but the disjunction has only half the percentage chance to destroy the field.
Anti-Anti-antimagic Field
Abjuration
Level: Clr 9, Magic 8, Protection 8, Sor/Wiz 8
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Effect: 10-ft.-radius field
Duration: 1 round/level
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: See text

You generate a stationary, invisible field of reinforced anti-magic. All spells, spell-like abilities etc, are negated, including spells inside an anti-anti magic field.
An anti-antimagic field fails to suppress an anti-anti-antimagic field. A mage's disjunction can dispel an anti-anti-antimagic field, but he may become confused as to what he is dispelling at this point.
So it's hardball, you want, eh? ;)

(22) Infinity-plus-one-antiantimagic Field
Abjuration
Level: Magic 9, Protection 9, Sor/Wiz 9
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Effect: 10-ft.-radius field
Duration: 1 round/level
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: See text

As per antiantimagic field, but stronger. An infinity-plus-one-antiantimagic field counters and dispels an antiantiantimagic field. In addition, it has only a 1% chance of being affected by a mage's disjunction.

Special: The verbal component for an infinity-plus-one-antiantimagic field is "nyah nyah!". The somatic component usually involves an obscene gesture.
In the same vein... ;)

(23) Neutralize Neutralize Poison
Necromancy
Level: Clr 4, Drd 3
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Touch
Effect: Creature touched
Duration: 10 minutes/level
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes

You increase the target's susceptibility to poisons, venoms, and toxins. The target takes a -4 penalty to resist the effects of all poisons and toxic substances.

In addition, all neutralize poison, delay poison or other poison-removal or poison-curing spell effects of 3rd level or lower fail to affect the target. A restoration or heal spell cures the subject of neutralize neutralize poison.
They're always after me lucky charms!

(25) Prismatic Cereal
Evocation
Level: Sor/Wiz 9
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 60 ft.
Effect: Cone-shaped burst
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: See text
Spell Resistance: Yes

A multicolored spray of several shapes of magically delicious cereal spring from your outstretched fingertips. Creatures in the area of the spell with 8 HD or less are automatically nauseated for 4d4 rounds. Every creature in the area is randomly struck with one or more types of cereal, which have additional effects.

1d8 Cereal Effect<br /> 1 Red Hearts Dominated, as [i]dominate monster[/i] spell (Will negates)<br /> 2 Orange Stars 50 points acid damage (Reflex half)<br /> 3 Yellow Moons 80 points electricity damage (Reflex half)<br /> 4 Green Clovers -4 penalty to saving throws and all luck bonuses negated for 1d4+1 rounds (Will negates)<br /> 5 Blue Diamonds Subject's SR reduced by 10 and -6 penalty to AC for 2d4 rounds (Will negates)<br /> 6 Purple Horseshoes Subject takes 1d4 points of ability drain to all abilities. (Fortitude negates)<br /> 7 Two cereals Struck by two cereals. Roll twice more, ignoring any '7' or '8' results.<br /> 8 Three cereals Struck by three cereals. Roll thrice more, ignoring any '7' or '8' results.

One of the effects should be "Target speaks in a bad Irish accent for 2d6 rounds."

Ahh sh-sha sh-sha, stroke me clover.
Hmmm amusing spells but after reading the cuddlification one I keep getting images of a horror movie where kids all over the world buy the cuddly demon toys and then after a predetermined trigger they return to conciousness with almost all their powers but can't leave the house or turn back from a cuddly toy form.

"Billy, are you there Billy?"
Thump
"Oh whats this doing hereeeearrrrgghhhh."

Next Morning
"Sorry sir all we found was this bloody doll."
"Thats the sixth case like this in the past month seems we have a serial killer loose."

Followed by the usual lone hero and/or heroine investigates and discovers the truth eventually seeming to stop it only to have a brief scene of one of the dolls at the very end being bought by a kid in a second hand store.
Eat that
Alteration
Level: Sor/Wiz 1
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium
Target: something that can be eat
Duration: 1 hour/level
Saving Throw: See text
Spell Resistance: No

You target something that can be eat, it can be very digusting but not lethal or really dangerous, nothing worse than have to spend half an hour behind a tree later.
The target starts to smell very good. Mmmmmh, good food !
The aspect of the target doesn't change. The effective good smell effects cover a 20 feet radius zone centered on the… thing. Beyond that zone, it smells good, but if the… thing is not in a lunchbox, bag, or something else, the creatures may stay away if the thing is disgusting.
In the 20 feet radius zone, any creature wants to eat the good food (no save), but if the thing is not good for the standard of the creature, a will save is allowed when she sees the thing.
If the will save is failed, the creature eat the target of the spell and says : "Mmmmmmh ! Good food !"
The DM may only add penalty to the save, if the creature is hungry, blind and so on. Creatures that can't smell or eat are immune to this spell.
best dnd thread I've seen IN YEARS!
Glad you're enjoying it DarkerBunny. These are fun! My favorites so far are prismatic cereal, protection from elephants, and animate fruitcake. =)
Elminster's favorite spells in his younger days.

(26) Power Word Funk
Evocation
Level: Sor/Wiz 7
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Target: One creature with 150 hp or less
Duration: 2d4 rounds
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: Yes

You utter a single word of power that instantly causes one creature of your choice to get down with their bad self. The affected creature can do nothing but smile suavely, brush imaginary lint from their shoulders, and in general become completely self-absorbed. Effectively, the creature has a -6 penalty to its Reflex save, Will save, and Armor Class.

Creatures with 151 hp or more are not affected by the spell.

(27) Power Word Groove
Evocation
Level: Sor/Wiz 8
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Target: One creature with 150 hp or less
Duration: 2d4 rounds
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: Yes

You utter a single word of power that instantly causes one creature of your choice to bust a move. The affected creature can do nothing but flail their arms wildly and make vulgar hip-thrusting movements, all the while belting out lyrics to obscure songs. The creature stays in place, and takes a -8 penalty to its Reflex saving throws and Armor Class. If the creature tries to cast any spell with a verbal component, he must make a DC 25 Concentratoin check or lose the spell.

Creatures with 151 hp or more are not affected by the spell.
Agnald's Nutcracking Spell
Evocation
Level: Sor/Wiz 4
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Target: One male living non-castrated creature
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Fortitude half (see text)
Spell Resistance: Yes.

This spell creates a telekinetic field of energy near the target's "sensitive area", causing them to be crushed painfully. Any creature affected by it suffers 5d8 non-lethal damage for each testicle it has, and becomes stunned for one round, then nauseated for 1d4 rounds. A fortitude save reduces the damage by half and cancels the stunning and nausea effects. Constructs, undead and any other type of creature that has no ********* are immune to this spell.
Material components: two or more nuts and a hammer.
Um. Ow. I'd rather be hit by meteor swarm...
So would that spell fail on a female or target some other sensative area? and if it does target a different area if your dealing with something that has something else sensative would it target that?
Well... I guess it could be used to affect other sensitive areas... as long as the creature has a discernible anatomy and as long as hitting such area causes such tremendous pain. Damn, you people ask difficult questions!
Darkened Changing Room
conjuration
Level: Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Target: One large, medium or small creature wearing clothes
Duration: instantaneous
Saving Throw: Reflex negates
Spell Resistance: Yes

This spell teleports the target's clothes at random locations on her, trousers on her head and so on. only the clothes are concerned, armors, weapons or bags stay at the same location.
If the target fails her save, she takes a penalty of - 3d6 + 2 on all checks implying movement (attacks, reflex saves, and so on) until she get her clothes back in the right place. The target can't walk, run, charge but she can move with little jumps (movement of 3 feet for medium creature, 1 feet for small ones and 6 feet for large creatures).
There's a 25% chance that the target is also blinded, 25% chance that she's also deafened, 25% chance that she also can't speak, and a 99% chance that she's ridiculous.
Agnald's Nutcracking Spell

Ouch. I would have called it Evard's Black Testacles myself.
Tasha's Hideous Daughter
Illusion (Phantasm) [Fear, Mind-Affecting]
Level: Sor/Wiz 4
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Target: One living creature
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Will disbelief (if interacted with), then Fortitude partial; see text
Spell Resistance: Yes

You create a phantasmal image of the most fearsome creature imaginable to the subject - that girl that your mom always wanted you to date but would make Sea Hags with demon warts look good by comparison - simply by forming the fears of the subject’s subconscious mind into something that its conscious mind can visualize: this most horrible beast. Only the spell’s subject can see the phantasmal daughter. You see only a vague shape. The target first gets a Will save to recognize the image as unreal. If that save fails, the phantasm touches the subject, and the subject must succeed on a Fortitude save or die from fear and/or revulsion. Even if the Fortitude save is successful, the subject needs to take a very long shower afterwards.
If the subject of a phantasmal killer attack succeeds in disbelieving and is wearing a helm of telepathy, the beast can be turned upon you. Don't cast this spell on people wearing helmets if you know what's good for you.
I have to say the material component for the Nutcracking Spell makes surprisingly much sense... And the Hideous Daughter ...
What a perfect substitute for Phantasmal Killer!
Just hope they don't get under your platemail.

(9) Cone of Lobsters
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 30-ft.
Area: Cone-shaped burst
Duration: 1 round/3 levels
Saving Throw: Reflex negates; see text
Spell Resistance: Yes

A cloud of hundreds of lobsters spews from your outstretched hands, flying through the air and impacting anyone in their way.

Creatures in the area must make a saving throw or suffer 1d4 damage per level, to a maximum of 10d4. A saving throw is allowed to halve the damage. The remaining lobsters fall to the ground, layering the area with the snapping crustaceans. Creatures who fail their saves have been grabbed by numerous lobster claws and find it painful to move. Each time they take a movement action, they must make a Fortitude save or take an additional 1d4 points of damage.

Reminds me of this and this :D