Make your own cool deities

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This thread is to make really cool uber or just awesome deities. You can even post your own favorite deity if you want.
Stats or just the description?
Does this mean your up for me re-posting the D&D Board Pantheon? (shorthand name: Mob'o'Gods) minus the D&D Board God/DemiGods of course...theres just too many of those...

Stats or just the description?

Suddenly i have memories of the last homemade God thread...
Suddenly i have memories of the last homemade God thread...

Ah, yes...

Good times, good times.

Let's attempt not to make this into another god war, shall we? At least until there's at least a page of sensible entries.
Ah, yes...

Good times, good times.

Let's attempt not to make this into another god war, shall we? At least until there's at least a page of sensible entries.

I know, i know, it was fun, but why'd you think i hadn't opened up with the obvious legal ramblings now?...
I also recorded all the player-god thing... so i can add them to the Mob if i want.. i had to edit my own, yours and Trigon though, following the God-war (well...Trigon's on a matter of principle, not because he did anything...)

And on a sensible entries note...I got nothing... So i figured i'd post up Ted for old times sake (old times? it was what? a couple of weeks...): Enjoy,

Ted the 'Flayer


Kudos to BeyondFated and WhZil for Ted
Kudos to Cryosilver, BeyondFated and now General Ridley for these current bits on Ted

Ted (Intermediate Deity, Chaotic Evil)
Portfolio: distressing images, fried foods, Torture, Insanity, Thumbs up
Domains: Evil, Fry-Up, Hunger (Libris Mortis), Madness, Ted, Chaos

Ted the Mindflayer (Often simply known as 'Ted' or 'Ted the 'Flayer') is a powerful deity, but also an oddity.

First, Ted has no home plane. Ted is a wanderer, searching the infinite universes for the most foul and horrific scenes that he can find. Thus, he spends a large amount of time in the infinite chaos of the Abyss, but has been seen in almost every plane.

This brings us to his second abnormality; Ted's derives his power not from worshipers or an over-diety, but from horrorific and terrifieing acts that are commited throughout the planes. He draw's power from these by finding them, blending in to them, and giving them his blessing, a thumb's up.

His power to blend into the background is his third abnormality. Ted can immediatly dissapear to all casual observers. He is still completely visable, but often times he's simply overlooked. The only time this isn't true is when he wishes to be noticed, or the scene he views is depicted in picture form (which happens quite often oddly enough). This allow him to appear in any scene, Whatsoever and not suffer the consequences...this includes viewing his underling's latest turn-over of images...

Ted himself is a rather plain looking Mindflayer, despite his quirks. His skin ranges from an ashen gray to a dull grey-pink. He often wears flowing black robes that have moving green and red fires within them. His tentacles are relativly short, he has no need to feen on brains when insanity causing images are so much more nutritious.
And the hand of his right arm shall bear the thumbs up and a frying pan shall be in his left hand, and when depicted in images, generally superimposed over a background of an intoxicated "female" elf engaging in unsavory acts with some random other creature. Ted delights in madness and mind-blasting imagery that mortals fear to see.
Ted's masses tend to involve large amounts of bacon and female elves.
Altough much of Ted's practical work involves digging up the weirdest stuff on websites ad search engines, much of the actual mind-warping stuff is discovered/created by followers of Ted's immediate underling Gooogle.

Some believe in Ted not as a God of fearsome images but of his other aspect of fry-ups and comic situations, hence he is often confused with Gooogle, his underling God who is responsible for finding and creating the worse of the worse images.

Ted symbol is that of a Thumbs up over a background of red and green flames.

Associates: Gooogle

Clerical Training: Those that wish to worship Ted must undergo only one rite. They must view one of thier lords horrific scenes. Those that survive with their insanity intact (which is rather hard to determine, Ted's clerics aren't really "all there" to begin with) become clerics. Those that go insane, are made into slaves.

Quests: The quests that Ted bestows is his own. To find images that, sometimes almost literally, **** one's mind.

Prayers: Ted's followers pary at midnight. The dark is where the distrubing thrives. Prayers are often descriptions of forrific events or scenes that Ted most likes. However, a common curse is, "You lover of The Daughter"! Because Ted's only offspring, the mortal Mialee, is the only thing that even Ted can't stand.

Temples: Ted's temples are few are far between. There is only one on some of the more major planes. Most of them are underground, not because it is the home of Ted's people, but because the vast caverens can house the tapestries that Ted's folowers collect.

Rites: Most of Ted's rites involve being thrust into a room full of illusions of some of the more mind-boggling situations Ted has partaken of. This explains the relative insanity that Ted's followers enjoy.

Herald and Allies: Ted's heralds are most often abyssal Mindflayers of high level. But he has been known to use almost anything, from Modrons to Slaad.

Favored Weapon: Fists (Gauntlets). Ted likes to keep his hands free so that he may give a thumbs up at a moments notice. His followers often take the "Improved Unarmed Strike" feat, or wear gauntlets.



Ted Domain
Granted Power: You gain a +3 bonus on Intimidate checks are imune to fear as a Paladin.
1: Cause Fear
2: Shatter
3: Bestow Curse
4: Evard's Black Tentacles
5: Nightmare
6: Eyebite
7: Insanity
8: Bigby's Thumb's Up
Functions as Bigby's Clenched Fist except that opponents within 20 feet of it take a -2 penalty on Will saves to avoid being driven insane or disbelieving illusions of distressing events.
9: Weird

Fry-Up Domain
Granted Power: You gain a +3 bonus on Profession (cook) checks related to frying things. Additionally, you gain resistance to fire 5.
1: Grease
2: Scorching Ray
3: Create Food and Water
4: Minor Creation (frying pans and fried goods only)
5: Flame Strike
6: Heroes' Feast
7: Stop Heart (BoVD)
Note: Replace Drug component with: A vial of distilled cholesterol.
Or for those Sans BOVD - Bacon of Death (like finger of death, only it kills by causing the target's cholesterol to shoot up like a Saturn rocket on takeoff).

8: Bigby's Thumb's Up
Functions as Bigby's Clenched Fist except that opponents within 20 feet of it take a -2 penalty on Will saves to avoid being driven insane or disbelieving illusions of distressing events.

9: Summon Monster IX (Grease Monsters Only)

Grease Template
"Grease" is a template that can be applied to any corporeal creature. Grease creatures look like normal creatures of their kind, except for being made entirely of oil grease and congealed fat.
Traits: Size and type: Type changes to elemental, and the creature acquires the augmented subtype
AC: the grease creature loses any natural armor it had
Attacks: Any claw attacks the creature had become slams that deal damage for a creature of the proper size
Special attacks: Engulf: if the grease creature makes a successful grapple check after establishing a hold, it may attempt to engulf any creature of its size or smaller. The target is entitled to a Reflex save (DC 10+1/2 the grease creature's HD+Con modifier). When engulfed, it must hold it's breath or begin drowning, and cannot grip any items. It also takes 1d3 Constitution damage each round (no save). The only way to escape is to succeed at a DC 20 Strength check to burst free, which deals no damage to the grease creature.
Improved Grab: if the grease creature hits with a slam, it may immediately attempt to start a grapple without provoking an attack of opportunity.
Flammable: Grease creatures are highly flammable, and if set alight, brn intensely, and leave flaming residue on those touching it. Any creature touching, striking or grappling a flaming grease creature takes 1d6 fire damage and must make a Reflex save (DC 10+1/2 HD+Con modifier) or be set alight.
Special Qualities: Viscous body: A grease creature's body is sticky and semi liquid. Any weapon striking it sticks in it, unless it's wielder makes a Reflex save (DC as above)
DR: 15/bludgeoning
Resistances: Acid 10, Electricity 10
Immune to fire, but may still be set alight
Abilities: Dex +4, Con +6
Heh heh. Good good... now, I'm still awaiting a reply to my own question, so hopefully the OP will be along soon.
Stats or just the description?

Either or.
David Shepherd(a kid I knew in school)

Alignment: Pure Evil
Portfolio: Modern Life, Anxiety, Stress, Rudeness, Cities, Traffic, Pollution
Domains: Evil, Death, Chaos, War, Corruption, Madness
(Greater Power) Divine Rank: 20


The mear image of a proxy of David Shepherd is distressing enough to cause a pitfiend or Balor to claw it's own eyes out in madness. A being of Pure Evil, David Shepherd has been known to appear in schools all across the country in different un-assuming avatars verbally assaulting other students for no reason. Often, he singles some out just to be a dick. Other times he verbally curses and assaults others for not doing what they are supposed to do even though his victims never heard the instructions.
Okay!

Well, I shall begin with the seven-thousand headed (second) god of dragons from my campaign, who is also one of the gods of the elements.

Aramath

True Neutral Greater God

Aramath was born at the same time as the First-Mother from the eternal mists beneath the fresh world. As the mate to the first-mother, he was also the father of the seven scion dragons. When the rift was opened by the great battle between chaos and law, the First-Mother and her seven spawn left the mists, whilst he stayed. As the First-Mother ascended to godhood, becoming the patron of all dragonkind, he also became a god, but he also forged the first bridge over the mists, although this was destroyed in the magical battle between mages from either side of the rift. He was also the one responsible in part for the transformation of these very same mages into the first Gith.
Aramath appears as an enormous, emerald-scaled dragon with seven-thousand heads, a thousand of each draconic type (there are only seven types, which can be any alignment: Red, Green, Black, White, Gold, Silver and Amethyst of which only the scion exists.). He also has four huge, muscled arms around his shoulders, each of which supports a wing. At the end of each of his arms is a clawed hand, each of which controls one of the elements. This can be seen, as each has a coloured aura (green for earth, red for fire, aqua for water and white for air).

Aramath is a pretty much uncaring god, but he does enjoy meddling in the affairs of mortals just like all dragons. He also has a soft spot for wizards and sorcerors of all kinds, especially those of draconic heritage and/or species. He hates anyone entering his realm without his permission, however, and will often create warp-storms to scare them off.

The domains Aramath is associated with are Air, Earth, Fire, Magic, Scalykind and Water. His worshipers are mostly dragons or those of draconic heritage, although non-draconic blooded members of the cult of the first-mother and mages also pay him homage. His favoured weapon is the claw.

Well, that's the first Dragon God. More about the First-Mother and her cult perhaps tomorrow, if I put it on here.
David Shepherd(a kid I knew in school)

Alignment: Pure Evil
Portfolio: Modern Life, Anxiety, Stress, Rudeness, Cities, Traffic, Pollution
Domains: Evil, Death, Chaos, War, Corruption, Madness
(Greater Power) Divine Rank: 20


The mear image of a proxy of David Shepherd is distressing enough to cause a pitfiend or Balor to claw it's own eyes out in madness. A being of Pure Evil, David Shepherd has been known to appear in schools all across the country in different un-assuming avatars verbally assaulting other students for no reason. Often, he singles some out just to be a dick. Other times he verbally curses and assaults others for not doing what they are supposed to do even though his victims never heard the instructions.

Ah, so Gooogle made him... Explains everything that...
Ok, let me give this a try...Im writing cuz I wanted to also adress the person known as The Lady of Pain, she's a "person" in the Outlands in the city of SIGIL. She's powerful enough to keep the numerous gods out of her city, and even more so, she keeps a certain level of order and peace to the place.

Should attempting to make her stats be a wise thing ??

I was thinking over that question a while, cuz if some one makes her stats, and abilities and all that, then im sure another will come up with a god more powerful. But the Lady of Pain isn't a real god, cuz no one worships her....

So is she a form of Greater, or Supreme Diety ??

Im a DM, and also a pretty good player, ask anyone in the Chats; and as a DM I enjoy making campaigns in and for all the different planes. Both for my table top group and people online who have the patience to sit around and game a few hours. Ive had trips to Baator for recovering items, and a recon thing that a few players did, scouting out Cerceri, looking for some one being held hostage. But in all these, I know the most powerful and least in these realms and I take the time to make painstaking notes about the envirnment and special places / people of note. Ive gone so far as to hand write Sigil on graph paper, i used about 16 sheets; two high and 8 length wise (Sigil is a giant ring). But even after doing so, I find a nagging about this character, Ive looked up on Planescape, but didn't find anything about her possible stats. I have found that she can force people into a pocket demension and in the game "PLANESCAPE: TORMENT" if you kill a certain number of townsfolk, she seeks you out and dissposes of you (i.e.: She rips you apart, no saves, no initiative, no nothing).

So do I just assume that she's the kind of character of entity that I dont even bother trying to make, or do I write her statistics, or ??

-Cosmo_Knight-
She's worth it. Trust me. She fought Aosker.
Hmm, I'll think about it certainly. Sigil is the base for my table top campaign right now, and will be for a while(they're paying off the cleric who saved 4 other players...and he doesn't accept gold). So i got plenty of more campaigns and quests involving sigil, as for the stats thing, im looking in my Dieties and DemiGods book for skills and attributes wise right now.

Cos--
I'm a fan of the wacky deities presented in the Munchkin d20 supplement, so in that vein, I present...

PEPPERMINT, Goddess of Fresh Breath and Oral Hygiene
Alignment: NG
Portfolio: Breath mints, dental hygenists, nice smiles, floss and toothbrushes.
Domains: Air, Good, Purification (from Complete Divine)
Symbol: A gleaming white smile
Favored Weapon: Light Pick (shaped like a dental pick)

Associates: Timmy (God of Teeth) and Orthodont (God of Braces)

Clerical Training: Priests of the Lady of Fresh Breath study for many years in the ways of dentistry, often gaining many ranks in Profession (dentist).

Quests: Also known as the Halitosisbane, Peppermint's quests often involve putting an end to bad breath. Other quests include teaching children the importance of flossing and making sure people get little postcards to remind them when their check-up is.

Prayers: Followers of Peppermint honor their goddess by brushing and flossing their teeth after every meal. This is followed by the use (but not consumption) of a strange brew known as "mouthwash," which burns like the dickens but usually makes one's breath smell nice.

Temples: Often mistaken for sterile torture chambers, Peppermint's temples are actually just common dentist's offices, complete with reception lobbies, reclining chairs and spit sinks.

Rites: Twice each year, followers of Peppermint submit to a "check-up" at the local temple. This consists of the celebrant being put in a reclining chair and having a bright light shone in their face for approximately half an hour while a low-level cleric counts and cleans their teeth. A higher-level cleric often reviews the work before the celebrant is allowed to go back to the lobby and schedule their next check-up. On occasion, a celebrant is referred to a temple of Orthodont for a long-term ritual known as "getting braces."

Herald and Allies: Peppermint's herald is an elder silver dragon with pure, fresh breath. Her allies are Medium, Large, and Huge air elementals.

I know, I know, it''s brilliant, you can all thank me later...
Encounters DM, Season 4 & Season 5 - Amorous Armadillo Game Shoppe - Oviedo, FL
*Sigh*

Munchins...Do i need to say anymore.

Its a fun game i guess, certainly different, but I dont think it should be brought up in a serious D&D discussion regarding Dieties.

Cos-
This is supposed to be a serious discussion of dieties?

Are you kidding me?

TED. THE. 'FLAYER.

Hey, everybody! Getta loada this guy... A regular comedian! "Serious," he says... :rolleye2:
Encounters DM, Season 4 & Season 5 - Amorous Armadillo Game Shoppe - Oviedo, FL

Ok, well, yes, you're right, that wasn't serious. But my questions about the LADY OF PAIN were in earnest and i meant them to be completely serious in nature. I just think that its getting carried off topic, but then again, its only a game, so i suppose you're right.

Im just not sure how to approach the idea of making a character in game play as powerful as the LADY of PAIN is often described. And if i set about the daunting task, whether or not she would have certain abilities.

Cos-
This is supposed to be a serious discussion of dieties?

Are you kidding me?

TED. THE. 'FLAYER.

Hey, everybody! Getta loada this guy... A regular comedian! "Serious," he says... :rolleye2:

You act as though i made him up... And he's not the worse of that bunch (which incorporates Pun-pun, Gooogle, Trollius, WizO, some fifty others +3)
And you say this is serious...Did you read the last homebrew Gods thread? (if you did the first two posts may fill you with dread...). Now compare it with the OPs info on what this thread is for... You may noticed this is already therefore doomed to madness from the start.



And on a more serious note:
Cosmo_Knight:
It been generally taken that the Lady of Pain shouldn't be given stats as shes more of a background thing that a creature, also theres a lot of debate (read:arguments) about what she actually is: God(dess), Sigil itself, somekind of Pre-god(as in the being who were there before the Gods), and a ton of others.
Basically i'd say just run it so your players/you have little to do with her, unless you do something that directly(or indirectly) screws uip Sigil workings in which case you die...
Look, friends.

I think you should go read up the other homemade gods thread...

It has about two pages of stuff which I shall now on refer to as 'the incident', a case now firmly CLOSED! CLOSED, I SAY!
Look, friends.

I think you should go read up the other homemade gods thread...

It has about two pages of stuff which I shall now on refer to as 'the incident', a case now firmly CLOSED! CLOSED, I SAY!

1) its a three page thread so 'the incident' wasn't as bad as that.
2) 'It' will never be closed...
3) Like i said: This Thread Is Doomed!, Doomed I Tell You! *ahem*

and lastly: DIVINE BLAST!!! (i'm getting bored and the irony was just too much to resist...) +Closed my ****+
Golem011 dodges the Divine Blast.

"Khael, I refuse to be- ARGH!"

Golem screams as the Divine Blast ricochets off the wall and hits him in the back.

"Okay, Khael. You got yourself a rematch."

His fist begins to glow with an unearthly light.

"HADOKEN DIVINE STRIKE!!!!!!"

"I have been learning the ways of Black Mage!"

Gods fly everywhere around the pair as the thread explodes in a mushroom cloud of fire and divine energy.
*and Khael stands untouched in the devastation*
Heh, heh, you think such little attacks can hurt me? Remember I hold the combined powers of the Mob'o'Gods!

Multiple Hadoken Divine Blast! with x5 Critical Multiplier
(you learned BMs move, but i learned blue magic As well...)

Bring it on, 'bub...
The Skeptic

Deity Name: In question. Is generally refered to as "The Skeptic".
Alignment: Probably chaotic neutral, but I'd question that too.
Divine Ranks: Also in question. Is believed to be a lesser deity.
Divine Portfolio: Skepticism, suspicion, mistrust of authority, questions, asking questions, asking too many questions.
Domains: Knowledge, Madness (Complete Divine), Meditation (Eberron Campaign Setting).

Associates: None. The other gods both hate and love him.

Clerical Training: None. Clerics of the Skeptic train themselves. Of course, they're also skeptical of whether their power comes from the Skeptic, or if its from another source.

Quests: Followers of the Skeptic always questions the status quo. Who gave the king the right to rule the kingdom? What was the real reason behind the war between those two neighboring kingdoms? Why does something fall when I drop it? Thus, the followers of the Skeptic are often involved in quests to seek out knowledge and question authority.

Prayers: Prayers addressed to the Skeptic start with the worshipper questioning the Skeptic's power and influence. A prayer to the Skeptic is often composed entirely of questions.

Temples: There are no temples dedicated to the Skeptic, as the worshippers of the Skeptic have not formed an organized religion. Some inquisitive individuals may set up small altars dedicated to the Skeptic, but even those who do are skeptical of whether the effort makes any difference.

Rites: Followers of the Skeptic consider questioning authority, along with information from any source, to be important. Thus, after learning any new information, a follower of the Skeptic will do much research about the subject, inquiring on the validity of claims and assumptions.

Herald and Allies: The skeptic has no herald, since none would be believed. The Skeptic claims to have many allies, although this claim has also been questioned by his followers.

Relics: Tome of endless questions.

I question my sanity on this one. Seemed like fun, though.
Thanks Kheal; ya, I heard about some of the stuff, and all the information about her is fan-based really, so everything is a bit skeptical about it. Her abilities and what not may be nothing at all, perhaps she's a myth, or some such thing. Thanks for the info and pointer, it helped a bit.

Cos-
sarisk
neutral good
deity of sand and oasis
medium deity
portfolio: life, revitalizing, survive, the lost, keeper of lost temples, cities and souls.
domains: life,runes,sand,thirst,repose,water
divine ranks (???)
favorit weapon: sand lashes(wipes made of sand)
Associates: those who need help crossing desert terrain, or live in lost cities and oasis.
Cleric training: train in a desert temple with only one weeks water and survive for a year , observe the desert animals and plants till you here his voice.
Quests: find what is lost in the desert from people, and treasure hordes to cities, and monsters.
prayers: pour a water skin full of water onto the sand and share your power with those who need it.
temples: you may not know of there temples because there mostly buried and lost to the sand far from the surface.
relics: only held by good sand shapers. AMULET or RING OF SAND CONTRL. gives the ability to move 5 pounds of sand per character level and cast control weather twice a day.

pharoes fall and kingdoms crumble but sand always spreads and all will eventually be consumed.
Fate
True Neutral

One of the first gods ever to exist in the universe he has kept the balance between good and evil for eons. He has the gift of foresight which allows him to every outcome of any situation. When Asmodeus took the throne of the ninth level of hell Fate was there. He does not trifle himself with the minor conflicts of any of the planes choosing instead to let adventurers have their fun. At times he can be mischievous, whispering plans to gods and mortals alike whilst they slumber, already knowing the outcome of the plans. If nothing else to make him laugh and if it sets off the balance he will fix it.
Fate’s weapons of choice are unique. He has claws that protrude between each knuckle. On the right hand are claws made of mithril and on the left are claws black adamantine claws. Both are the bane of law and chaos but the right will slay any evil being instantly and the left will give an honorable death to any good being.
Fate does not require the worship of mortals he has grown beyond such things throughout the eons. Few mortals have actually seen him but when he does appear he wears unassuming garments, such as a traveling outfit, and usually appears as a human, thought he has been to known to take other forms. The only thing that makes him stand out amongst mortals is his hair. It is black with streaks of royal blue in it.
All other deities know of him and understand his purpose so they both fear and admire him. He makes his home on the Astral Plane so he can watch the happenings on other planes. He has been rumored to keep an eye on adventurers who may up against more than they can handle.
Interesting...

It wasn't supposed to hurt you, Khael. It was supposed to get rid of those stupid little gods.

Now that we have a clear (burning crater of a) field, I will be very happy to continue the battle.
Interesting...

It wasn't supposed to hurt you, Khael. It was supposed to get rid of those stupid little gods.

Now that we have a clear (burning crater of a) field, I will be very happy to continue the battle.

Firstly your Hadoken failed. Miserably. Well...actually you got the minor members of the Mob i.e. Everyone except Ted, Gooogle, Trollius, WizO and the three others...Let us just say if you try the same tricks you pulled last time, Ye Shalt Suffer!!!*ahem*

But if your up for it... One on One it is....

+Khael charges, Warmace raised high+
DIVINE BLAST!!!
Does anyone have a link to the aforementioned previous homemade deity thread?

It sounds at once ominous and fun :D
I thought this wasnt supposed to be a deity battle. Wasnt it just creat a deity. like the guy said befor can some one put a link to a deity site.
You can find the aforementioned link here.

Okay, Khael...

GRUDGEFLAME!

A huge ball of glowing fire made purely out of pieces from the monster that Khael destroyed (detailed in aforementioned old thread) hits Khael, exploding, and scattering pieces of burnt law papers and of course, a tyre.
FIRE!?!! I use Hellfire Demons for guards, do you think i'd do that if fire worked on me?!? silly mortal...

+Khael smashes his warmace down onto the ground causing it to crack asunder, and as the hellfire comes up, Golem011 falls down...+



(and oh boy, was the GodsWar fun...)
Heh heh heh heh.

Do you really think that I would be a hundredth level mage (timesed by infinity) if I hadn't invested in a Fly Spell?

They even had to make new spells up for me cos I'm so awesome (and high levelled)! I mean, take a gander at this.

I rock so much, I have 3,000,000,000,011.3 1111th level spells.

Sucker.

(and yeah, it sure was.)
Heh heh heh heh.

Do you really think that I would be a hundredth level mage (timesed by infinity) if I hadn't invested in a Fly Spell?

They even had to make new spells up for me cos I'm so awesome (and high levelled)! I mean, take a gander at this.

I rock so much, I have 3,000,000,000,011.3 1111th level spells.

Sucker.

(and yeah, it sure was.)

Sucker.
All that boasting.
And yet you forgot the most important thing to do before ye fell.
You didn't actually cast the spell.

And you have 1111th level spells? So thats what high levels in Wizard gets you...They Screwed the Clerics!!! Oh well, i'll settle for my countermeasures to these problems.
Oops.

Oops.

Umm...

Where did I put my personal spellbook?

+As he continues to fall, Golem searches through his pockets quite unconcernedly.+

Ah, here we are.

FLY.

Golem sweeps back upwards, pressing his spellbook into his forehead.

Droan Celesti Ameri!

There is a blast of magic energy as the spellbook is sucked into Golem's mind, just as he lands.

Oh yes, I forgot to tell you about that, didn't I? 100th level (pretty weak, really) ability, recently designed by Wizards because they thought the Sorceror was getting too strong, what with the new Spellscales. It allows me to permanently memorize all the spells in my spellbook, making me a Spontaneous Caster.

Oh yeah, and then there's the other new class ability which gives me the power to replicate divine spells by tapping into my own amazing power.

And the power that allows me to get, every level, more spells/day than a sorceror of the equivalent level.

I wonder if there's anything else I forgot.
Oops.

Oops.

Umm...

Where did I put my personal spellbook?

+As he continues to fall, Golem searches through his pockets quite unconcernedly.+

Ah, here we are.

FLY.

Golem sweeps back upwards, pressing his spellbook into his forehead.

Droan Celesti Ameri!

There is a blast of magic energy as the spellbook is sucked into Golem's mind, just as he lands.

Oh yes, I forgot to tell you about that, didn't I? 100th level (pretty weak, really) ability, recently designed by Wizards because they thought the Sorceror was getting too strong, what with the new Spellscales. It allows me to permanently memorize all the spells in my spellbook, making me a Spontaneous Caster.

Oh yeah, and then there's the other new class ability which gives me the power to replicate divine spells by tapping into my own amazing power.

And the power that allows me to get, every level, more spells/day than a sorceror of the equivalent level.

I wonder if there's anything else I forgot.

Simple. Ye still forgot to cast the spell. And you did just impact at the bottom of a several thousand foot chasm. You also a wizard so your pathetic mage body is shattered (cue BM's cursings).
Actually you are wrong.

I DID cast the spell.

That's the point where it says 'Fly'.

Eat your heart out!
Actually you are wrong.

I DID cast the spell.

That's the point where it says 'Fly'.

Eat your heart out!

I was hoping if i sounded superior enough you would believe you hadn't. It obviously didn't work.
Now bearing in mind the chasm has no technical 'bottom' being full of hellfire, yoy cannot land in it, but will instead die a horrible firey death due to your low wizard HD.

Also Ring of Greater Counterspells, secondary ability, used before you got within 100ft below the lip of the chasm. The irony is i did this to you last time.
divine Post Wars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :d
divine Post Wars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :d

?!?!?!

And to make up for the madness that has ensured thus far (as in, we're not finished this war/skirmish/celestial bar-fight yet) i'm posting up Teds immediate underling, Gooogle (read the bottom of the post, it explains the name)
Well...it sort of makes up for it...He's a god at least.

Gooogle
(Lesser Deity, Chaotic Evil)
Portfolio: mind-breaking images, Madness, Search Engines
Domains: Evil, Madness

Gooogle is the Lord of search engine corruption, and not the corruption where you get merely rude stuff or occassional complaint/nudity but the one where you want to burn your eyes and mind out to purge yourself of the images. That is Gooogles work. His Greatest Triumph to date was in perventing his-name-minus-o and causing it to sear the minds and eyes of some those present at Ted's Genesis...A slight dig at his immediate superior?

Some often confuse Gooogle's work with Ted, placing the work of finding those mind-bending images at Gooogle's feet (if he has any under that robe).
This is broadly true, but only because Gooogle is charged with finding and creating the vilest of his master's 'collection' (which also means he is charged with the finding of or creation of images of Mialee (yes, even the one in the complete Arcane-he found that one, and is really annoyed someone made it first...)

He appears as a Dark-robed figure of vague shape with his true self veiled beneath the robes. Under one arm is tucked a Laptop computer and in th eother is His most powerful weapon...a digital camera?!?
To those true followers who summon him, his shows his unveiled self unto them and...well, lets say its messy, they aren't around for long afterwards and acids are usually involved shall we?

Associates: Ted(Boss)

Quests: Those foolish enough (and tough-minded enough) to count themselves among Gooogle's favored are strange and sick individuals indeed who Gooogle sends out to discover the vilest of acts.

Prayers: Followers of Gooogle rarely need to pray as his 'clerics' don't need spells to kill ya' matey, a laptop'll make you do the job for them pretty well...or even a temple hanging...
Hence prayers in the normal sense are uncommon and at any time since no real spells are needed (and lets face it, their eyes and minds are so gone at this point their liable to blow their own feet off instead of smiting you...)

Temples: Gooogle Temples are extremely rare outside of large cities as His followers search for ever worse filth. Within large cities where Gooogle has power, the temples are the places contain the filth...nuff said (i hope)

Rites: Let;s face it do you really want to know?!? If so consider joining Gooogle now.

Herald and Allies: Face it, Gooogle has no allies.
His Herald however...is not nice. Unknown actually since only the followers of Gooogle can withstand the sight of his herald...so that a pretty good clue about what its not...but for the sake of argument, its a pervented Nymph.

Favored Weapon: Digital Camera, Laptop, Search Engine etc. But for the less technologically favoured followers of Gooogle they get...a ruddy great Halberd...(Lets just say if you a maddened, half-blind psycho would you not carry a large brutal long-handled weapon that can on a good blow only need the one hit?) Or failing that a flask of acid (just in case they ever summon Gooogle).

I should point out:
1)Gooogle is nothing to do with the similarly named website per se, but instead is based on the experiences some people who helped work on Ted had.
2)The name was subtly changed since i have no idea if it would be a bad i deas to make Gooogle but name him His-name-minus-o
im after stuff on Kyuss have you lot got any thing?
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