1001 Fun But Pointless Items

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Game filler is always great fun. players need something that they can have fun with that won't destroy a game. Let's create a few fun yet pointless (and statless) items
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#1. A small hand mirror that makes anyone who sees them self in it appear to have a goatee. It only works for the person who is currently in possession of the mirror.
2: Mood Goggles: As long as the wearer is psionically focused, the lenses of these goggles (ordinarily clear) are tinted a certain color based on the wearer’s mood.
Green –Envious / Greedy
Red – Angry / Lustful
Grey – Contemplative / Muddled
Blue - Depressed
Purple - Calm
Yellow - Happy

Zammm = Batman.

It's my sig in a box
58280208 wrote:
Everything is better when you read it in Bane's voice.
192334281 wrote:
Your human antics and desire to continue living have moved me. Just kidding. You cannot move me physically or emotionally. Wall humor.
57092228 wrote:
Copy effects work like a photocopy machine: you get a copy of the 'naked' card, NOT of what's on it.
56995928 wrote:
Funny story: InQuest Magazine (I think it was InQuest) had an oversized Chaos Orb which I totally rooked someone into allowing into a (non-sanctioned) game. I had a proxy card that was a Mountain with "Chaos Orb" written on it. When I played it, my opponent cried foul: Him: "WTF? a Proxy? no-one said anything about Proxies. Do you even own an actual Chaos Orb?" Me: "Yes, but I thought it would be better to use a Proxy." Him: "No way. If you're going to put a Chaos Orb in your deck you have to use your actual Chaos Orb." Me: "*Sigh*. Okay." I pulled out this huge Chaos Orb and placed it on the table. He tried to cry foul again but everyone else said he insisted I use my actual Chaos Orb and that was my actual Chaos Orb. I used it, flipped it and wiped most of his board. Unsurprisingly, that only worked once and only because everyone present thought it was hilarious.
My DM on Battleminds:
no, see i can kill defenders, but 8 consecutive crits on a battlemind, eh walk it off.
144543765 wrote:
195392035 wrote:
Hi guys! So, I'm a sort of returning player to Magic. I say sort of because as a child I had two main TCG's I liked. Yu-Gi-Oh, and Pokemon. Some of my friends branched off in to Magic, and I bought two pre-made decks just to kind of fit in. Like I said, Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon were what I really knew how to play. I have a extensive knowledge of deck building in those two TCG's. However, as far as Magic is concerned, I only ever used those two pre made decks. I know how the game is played, and I know general things, but now I want to get in the game for real. I want to begin playing it as a regular. My question is, are all cards ever released from the time of the inception of this game until present day fair game in a deck? Or are there special rules? Are some cards forbidden or restricted? Thanks guys, and I will gladly accept ANY help lol.
I have the same problem with women.
117639611 wrote:
198869283 wrote:
Oh I have a standing rule. If someone plays a Planeswalker I concede the game. I refuse to play with or against people who play Planeswalkers. They really did ruin the game.
A turn two Tibalt win?! Wicked... Betcha don't see that everyday.

The Pony Co. 

Is this my new ego sig? Yes it is, other Barry
57461258 wrote:
And that's why you should never, ever call RP Jesus on being a troll, because then everyone else playing along gets outed, too, and the thread goes back to being boring.
57461258 wrote:
See, this is why RPJesus should be in charge of the storyline. The novel line would never have been cancelled if he had been running the show. Specifically the Slobad and Geth's Head talkshow he just described.
57461258 wrote:
Not only was that an obligatory joke, it was an on-topic post that still managed to be off-topic due to thread derailment. RP Jesus does it again folks.
92481331 wrote:
I think I'm gonna' start praying to Jesus... That's right, RPJesus, I'm gonna' be praying to you, right now. O' Jesus Please continue to make my time here on the forums fun and cause me to chuckle. Amen.
92481331 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
It was wonderful. Us Johnnies had a field day. That Timmy with the Grizzly bears would actually have to think about swinging into your Mogg Fanatic, giving you time to set up your silly combo. Nowadays it's all DERPSWING! with thier blue jeans and their MP3 players and their EM EM OH AR PEE JEES and their "Dewmocracy" and their children's card games and their Jersey Shores and their Tattooed Tenaged Vampire Hunters from Beverly Hills
Seriously, that was amazing. I laughed my *ss off. Made my day, and I just woke up.
[quote=ArtVenn You're still one of my favorite people... just sayin'.[/quote]
56756068 wrote:
56786788 wrote:
.....would it be a bit blasphemous if I said, "PRAYSE RPJAYSUS!" like an Evangelical preacher?
Perhaps, but who doesn't like to blaspheme every now and again? Especially when Mr. RPJesus is completely right.
56756068 wrote:
I don't say this often, but ... LOL
57526128 wrote:
You... You... Evil something... I actualy made the damn char once I saw the poster... Now you made me see it again and I gained resolve to put it into my campaign. Shell be high standing oficial of Cyrix order. Uterly mad and only slightly evil. And it'll be bad. Evil even. And ill blame you and Lizard for it :P.
57042968 wrote:
111809331 wrote:
I'm trying to work out if you're being sarcastic here. ...
Am going to stop you right there... it's RPJesus... he's always sarcastic
58335208 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
112114441 wrote:
we can only hope it gets the jace treatment...it could have at least been legendary
So that even the decks that don't run it run it to deal with it? Isn't that like the definition of format warping?
I lol'd.
56287226 wrote:
98088088 wrote:
Uktabi Orangutan What the heck's going on with those monkeys?
The most common answer is that they are what RPJesus would call "[Debutantes avert your eyes]ing."
56965458 wrote:
Show
57461258 wrote:
116498949 wrote:
I’ve removed content from this thread because off-topic discussions are a violation of the Code of Conduct. You can review the Code here: www.wizards.com/Company/About.aspx?x=wz_... Please keep your posts polite, on-topic, and refrain from making personal attacks. You are welcome to disagree with one another but please do so respectfully and constructively. If you wish to report a post for Code of Conduct violation, click on the “Report Post” button above the post and this will submit your report to the moderators on duty.
...Am I the only one that thinks this is reaching the point of downright Kafkaesque insanity?
I condone the use of the word Kafkaesque. However, I'm presentely ambivalent. I mean, that can't be serious, right? We're April 1st, right? They didn't mod RPJesus for off-topic discussion when the WHOLE THREAD IS OFF-TOPIC, right? Right.
57545908 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
Save or die. If you disagree with this, you're wrong (Not because of any points or arguements that have been made, but I just rolled a d20 for you and got a 1, so you lose).
58397368 wrote:
58222628 wrote:
This just won the argument, AFAIC.
That's just awesome.
57471038 wrote:
57718868 wrote:
HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THE BEAR PRODUCING WORDS OF WILDING?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!
That's what RPJesus tends to do. That's why I don't think he's a real person, but some Magic Card Archive Server sort of machine, that is programmed to react to other posters' comments with obscure cards that do in fact exist, but somehow missed by even the most experienced Magic players. And then come up with strange combos with said cards. All of that is impossible for a normal human to do given the amount of time he does it and how often he does it. He/It got me with Light of Sanction, which prompted me to go to RQ&A to try and find if it was even possible to do combat damage to a creature I control (in light that Mark of Asylum exists).
71235715 wrote:
+10
100176878 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
57078538 wrote:
heaven or hell.
Round 1. Lets rock.
GG quotes! RPJesus just made this thread win!
56906968 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
143359585 wrote:
Blue players get all the overpowerered cards like JTMS. I think it's time that wizards gave something to people who remember what magic is really about: creatures.
Initially yes, Wizards was married to blue. However, about a decade ago they had a nasty divorce, and a few years after that they began courting the attention of Green. Then in Worldwake they had a nasty affair with their ex, but as of Innistrad, things seem to have gotten back on track, and Wizards has even proposed.
You are my favorite. Yes you. And moments like this make it so. Thank you RPJesus for just being you.
On what flavor text fits me:
57307308 wrote:
Surely RPJesus gets Niv-Mizzet, Dracogenius?
56874518 wrote:
First: I STILL can't take you seriously with that avatar. And I can take RPJesus seriously, so that's saying something.
121689989 wrote:
I'd offer you a cookie for making me laugh but it has an Upkeep Cost that has been known to cause people to quit eating.
56267956 wrote:
I <3 you loads
57400888 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
"AINT NO LAWS IN THE SKY MOTHER****." - Agrus Kos, Wojek Veteran
10/10. Amazing.
3. Thief-in-a-box. This looks like an ordinary Jack-in-the-box except when the box top opens, the "jack" inside pops out, grabs a random item (small sized) within a 2 foot radius, and pulls it into the box where it is dropped into a random plane and lost forever. Dexterity check prevents the "jack" from grabbing the item.
4) Fork of Horripilation: this two pronged fork is built with bone, and whenever you try to eat meat with it, the meat explodes violently over a 2 square spread. NOTE: only works on dead flesh
5. Training chess set that once belonged to the great wizard, but poor chess player, Kasparov Polgar of Fysher. The chess board is made of exotic woods and inlaid with mother of pearl, gemstones, and gold. The pieces are made of dragon ivory (white) and a black ivory of unknown origin. This magical chess set only requires one player, as the other player is the board itself. A person sets up the board, then selects a color. White (player or board) moves first. If the player makes a move that is not a wise move, the piece the player is holding shocks the player for 2d8 electrical damage, no save. Kasparov created this chess set to improve his game but all it ended up doing was giving him irreparable nerve damage in his right hand since he never fully understood chess tactics and the intelligence he bestowed upon the board believes that 30% of the moves are bad moves.
6) crash test gnome - a small wooden gnome statue made of 6 part (2 arms, 2 legs, head, torso). when dismantled it will put itself together again. generally used as an orc child's toy

7) gnomish repeating crossbow - a standard crossbow with what looks like a mouth attached to it. as long as you have it on your possession, it will repeat whatever you say VERY VERY LOUDLY

8) elvish vanity mirror - 5 full-length connected mirrors that can be spread around you. your reflection keeps telling you how fabulous you look in that outfit.
3rd ed SRD, character sheets, errata & free modules 4th ed test drive - modules, starter rules, premade characters and character builder & character sheet, errata Free maps and portraits, dice, printable graph paper, campaign managing website, image manipulation program + token maker & zone markers

"All right, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back. GET MAD! I DON'T WANT YOUR **** LEMONS! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?! DEMAND TO SEE LIFE'S MANAGER! Make life RUE the day it thought it could give CAVE JOHNSON LEMONS! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I'M THE MAN WHO'S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that's gonna BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!" -Cave Johnson, Portal 2
Way too fun to die.

9) A broken Decanter of Endless Water that constantly leaks and has its activation words messed up. ('Stream' starts the Geyser effect, Fountain is completely broken, and 'Geyser' causes the Stream effect with mud instead of water.

10) Rejected Candles of Truth that just scream loudly when lit.

11) A wooden goblet that does not appear to start filling until at least twice its capacity of liquid has been poured into it. It functions normally after that until, at a completely random point in the night, it expulses the liquid in a vertical fountain.

12) A leather hat that confers a horribly fake looking set of spectacles, moustache, and ponytail that are visible to everyone but the wearer.

13) A very fine looking quill that begins sobbing each time it is used to write; tears always dot the page, as well as light sprays of ink when the quill makes nose-blowing sounds.

14) An intelligent dagger that is both a pacifist and a vegan.

15) A Ring of Featherfall that has pulsing magic, meaning that it works for the first ten feet, then cuts out for ten, cuts back in for ten, out for ten, and so on.

16) A sash of fine silk that always changes to the very best color/pattern to coordinate with your outfit for the day.

17) A tapestry depicting daily life in an average village that changes slightly to mimic the weather at whatever location it's being kept at. (On sunny days, the tapestry has a clear sky and the townsfolk are going about business as usual. On rainy days, the tapestry has dark clouds and there are fewer townsfolk in the picture.)
Current Party (3.5, 1st Level, Bards) The Drummer - Mouthy human stoner who isn't allowed to carry our money. The Lutist - Gnome willing to get freaky with wealthy orcs if it means a +2 to his Gather Info. The Bass Lutist - Token dwarf. The Lead Singer - Always taking one for the team...and sometimes just for fun.
18) map of mischief: magical intelligent map changes landforms and roads to always create lost travelers or at least send them to a different place entirely. best used within a city. at least then you can drop into the closest pub and ask for directions.

19) singing sword: (think 'bard's tale') this sword will sing to any audience and hates to be quieted.

20) smelly soap: when you want to disguise yourself to enter the orcish horde's stronghold, you'd better get stinky fast.

21) 'fake' dragon tooth: this tusk from some other beast is being sold as a dragon tooth as an alchemical reagent. creates different, but reasonable result when used as component.

22) scrimshaw key fob: each key attached to the ring is known to the key fob. the scrimshaw image on the large bone fob changes to show the house, lock, cage, whatever that a held key will open. the user holds the key and the fob and can view the image of what the key will open.

23) amazing unlock: this meticulously etched metal lock was never finished by the master artisan and cannot be locked as there is not a locking mechanism inside. but the clasp can be closed. the appearrance of the closed lock is similar to an amazing lock and thus appears difficult to pick.
Way too fun to die.

9) A broken Decanter of Endless Water that constantly leaks and has its activation words messed up. ('Stream' starts the Geyser effect, Fountain is completely broken, and 'Geyser' causes the Stream effect with mud instead of water.

10) Rejected Candles of Truth that just scream loudly when lit.

11) A wooden goblet that does not appear to start filling until at least twice its capacity of liquid has been poured into it. It functions normally after that until, at a completely random point in the night, it expulses the liquid in a vertical fountain.

12) A leather hat that confers a horribly fake looking set of spectacles, moustache, and ponytail that are visible to everyone but the wearer.

13) A very fine looking quill that begins sobbing each time it is used to write; tears always dot the page, as well as light sprays of ink when the quill makes nose-blowing sounds.

14) An intelligent dagger that is both a pacifist and a vegan.

15) A Ring of Featherfall that has pulsing magic, meaning that it works for the first ten feet, then cuts out for ten, cuts back in for ten, out for ten, and so on.

16) A sash of fine silk that always changes to the very best color/pattern to coordinate with your outfit for the day.

17) A tapestry depicting daily life in an average village that changes slightly to mimic the weather at whatever location it's being kept at. (On sunny days, the tapestry has a clear sky and the townsfolk are going about business as usual. On rainy days, the tapestry has dark clouds and there are fewer townsfolk in the picture.)

I like these, and I have to say that 17 would be kinda fun to have.
I am Blue/White
I am Blue/White
Take The Magic Dual Colour Test - Beta today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.
I'm both orderly and rational. I value control, information, and order. I love structure and hierarchy, and will actively use whatever power or knowledge I have to maintain it. At best, I am lawful and insightful; at worst, I am bureaucratic and tyrannical.
24) Jigging Boots - These boots have been enchanted by a wizard who loves to dance but is horrible at it. So he enchanted these boots to produce the same movements as everyone else on the dance floor. If there are different dances going on at once the boots pick the most challenging of them.

25) The Noise Maker of Dragon's Breath - This looks like a standard streamer-noise maker used at parties. But instead of a simple peace of paper or glitter coming out a plume of dragons breath comes out relevant to the size of the user. But this device is safe for children since the dragons breath is an illusion so it can burn anything.

26) The Lever of Ever Pulling - This is a simple lever attached to a piece of wood. On the wood is the writing "Do not pull". When someone pulls it (eventually someone will) the writing changes to say, "Why did you pull this lever? I told you not to. Don't do it again." When they pull it again the text changes to something like, "Do you always not do what your told? Why do you pull this when I tell you not to?" This keeps on going until the user gets bored and puts it down. Then the writing changes back to "Do not pull."

27) Self Tying Boots - The boot tie themselves when put on someones feet. Once tied the laces are in a perfect bow that won't come undone until the wearer wishes them to (or until the second function of the boots is fulfill). The second function of the boots is at a random point (usually when the wearer is sitting down for a while) they untie themselves and retie themselves so they are tied together.

28) The Obsessive Feather Duster - This feather duster was enchanted and is also slightly intelligent. It was made to clear a house of all dust. But it is over zealous in its duties. If someone walks into the house and they have dirt or dust them them they will be assailed by the feather dust who will attempt to get every last spec of dust and dirt off of them and will not stop until the command word is given or it is broken.
23) Emporers Cloths: They can only be seen by creatures with Intelligence above 16, but are known to be an illusions. To anyone else they appear to be nude.

24) Coin of false fates: When flipped and called in the air, it always lands on the opposite side called.

25) Bag of Unholding: Any object placed in the bag weighs twice as much.

guides
List of no-action attacks.
Dynamic vs Static Bonuses
Phalanx tactics and builds
Crivens! A Pictsies Guide Good
Power
s to intentionally miss with
Mr. Cellophane: How to be unnoticed
Way's to fire around corners
Crits: what their really worth
Retroactive bonus vs Static bonus.
Runepriest handbook & discussion thread
Holy Symbols to hang around your neck
Ways to Gain or Downgrade Actions
List of bonuses to saving throws
The Ghost with the Most (revenant handbook)
my builds
F-111 Interdictor Long (200+ squares) distance ally teleporter. With some warlord stuff. Broken in a plot way, not a power way.

Thought Switch Higher level build that grants upto 14 attacks on turn 1. If your allies play along, it's broken.

Elven Critters Crit op with crit generation. 5 of these will end anything. Broken.

King Fisher Optimized net user.  Moderate.

Boominator Fun catch-22 booming blade build with either strong or completely broken damage depending on your reading.

Very Distracting Warlock Lot's of dazing and major penalties to hit. Overpowered.

Pocket Protector Pixie Stealth Knight. Maximizing the defender's aura by being in an ally's/enemy's square.

Yakuza NinjIntimiAdin: Perma-stealth Striker that offers a little protection for ally's, and can intimidate bloodied enemies. Very Strong.

Chargeburgler with cheese Ranged attacks at the end of a charge along with perma-stealth. Solid, could be overpowered if tweaked.

Void Defender Defends giving a penalty to hit anyone but him, then removing himself from play. Can get somewhat broken in epic.

Scry and Die Attacking from around corners, while staying hidden. Moderate to broken, depending on the situation.

Skimisher Fly in, attack, and fly away. Also prevents enemies from coming close. Moderate to Broken depending on the enemy, but shouldn't make the game un-fun, as the rest of your team is at risk, and you have enough weaknesses.

Indestructible Simply won't die, even if you sleep though combat.  One of THE most abusive character in 4e.

Sir Robin (Bravely Charge Away) He automatically slows and pushes an enemy (5 squares), while charging away. Hard to rate it's power level, since it's terrain dependent.

Death's Gatekeeper A fun twist on a healic, making your party "unkillable". Overpowered to Broken, but shouldn't actually make the game un-fun, just TPK proof.

Death's Gatekeeper mk2, (Stealth Edition) Make your party "unkillable", and you hidden, while doing solid damage. Stronger then the above, but also easier for a DM to shut down. Broken, until your DM get's enough of it.

Domination and Death Dominate everything then kill them quickly. Only works @ 30, but is broken multiple ways.

Battlemind Mc Prone-Daze Protecting your allies by keeping enemies away. Quite powerful.

The Retaliator Getting hit deals more damage to the enemy then you receive yourself, and you can take plenty of hits. Heavy item dependency, Broken.

Dead Kobold Transit Teleports 98 squares a turn, and can bring someone along for the ride. Not fully built, so i can't judge the power.

Psilent Guardian Protect your allies, while being invisible. Overpowered, possibly broken.

Rune of Vengance Do lot's of damage while boosting your teams. Strong to slightly overpowered.

Charedent BarrageA charging ardent. Fine in a normal team, overpowered if there are 2 together, and easily broken in teams of 5.

Super Knight A tough, sticky, high damage knight. Strong.

Super Duper Knight Basically the same as super knight with items, making it far more broken.

Mora, the unkillable avenger Solid damage, while being neigh indestuctable. Overpowered, but not broken.

Swordburst Maximus At-Will Close Burst 3 that slide and prones. Protects allies with off actions. Strong, possibly over powered with the right party.

I like these...

Thanks

26) The Lever of Ever Pulling

I have a fellow PC that would carry this thing around and value it more than his life...he must never find it or at least 20% of every game will become devoted to him trying to find a way to anger the lever...

25) Bag of Unholding: Any object placed in the bag weighs twice as much.

Terribly hilarious!
Current Party (3.5, 1st Level, Bards) The Drummer - Mouthy human stoner who isn't allowed to carry our money. The Lutist - Gnome willing to get freaky with wealthy orcs if it means a +2 to his Gather Info. The Bass Lutist - Token dwarf. The Lead Singer - Always taking one for the team...and sometimes just for fun.
23) Emporers Cloths: They can only be seen by creatures with Intelligence above 16, but are known to be an illusions. To anyone else they appear to be nude.

supererior mind games. totally classic.
29) Paranoiacs best enemy: This bag appears to be a normal bad of holding. However whenever an item is placed within the bag it is teleported (after 3d6 (3-18) minutes) to a randomly determined bag, chest, pouch, pocket or backpack located within 5 feet of the bag. There is no visible effect from the teleportation. Note: The item has to be able to reasonably fit into the targeted space.

30) Wondrously cold chest: This chest is roughly two feet long by a foot and a half wide and two feet deep and is slightly narrower at the bottom than it is at the top. It is made out of thick wood reinforced with copper bands and an ivory latch at the top front to keep the top closed and two handles located at either end of the chest. Any time an item is placed within the chest the chest automatically reduces the temperature to freezing. It is enchanted to make it weigh about half the weight of a normal chest of its type. Also, the temperature change inside the chest is noticeable (though only barely) outside of it.

31) Comb of Wondrous Grooming: No , this isn't for your dog or horse but for your vain players. It appears to be a simple, unadorned, wooden brush of no real worth when discovered. However any time it is used to comb a characters hair it automatically restores that characters hair to near perfection. Hair will be shiney, lustrous, smooth, silky and even split ends will vanish. This may be useful in some social situations... However, it only affects hair, you will still stink like you haven't had a bath in weeks... if you haven't that is.

32) Comb of Wondrous Grooming, cursed: This item looks and acts just like the comb mentioned above. Howver on its third use all of the characters hair falls out. All of it. The hair will grow back but at a greatly reduced rate compared to its normal growth rate.
26) The Lever of Ever Pulling

27) Self Tying Boots - ...they untie themselves and retie themselves so they are tied together.

28) The Obsessive Feather Duster ...will be assailed by the feather duster...

these are great.

17) A tapestry depicting daily life in an average village that changes slightly to mimic the weather at whatever location it's being kept at. (On sunny days, the tapestry has a clear sky and the townsfolk are going about business as usual. On rainy days, the tapestry has dark clouds and there are fewer townsfolk in the picture.)

Inspired me to think of the following:

30) Scenery Clothing - Clothing or a tapestry that is enchanted to depict a particular scene, similar to the moving photographs and paintings from Harry Potter. Dresses may depict flowers in bloom, with clouds floating by.

Casual Magic player since 2003 (Onslaught Block). 60% Johnny, 40% Timmy. Want a free, graphics-based, collection database to inventory your cards? I made one! Feedback welcome. Program runs offline, includes powerful search options, art, Oracle text, data import/export, and a rigorously updated list of every card ever printed. Version 5.13 (Theros) now available!

So. Green needs an iconic creature type, eh? How about wurms!

One Billion Words - 1001 Fantasy Landscapes: Share DnD-ish landscapes for use in homebrew campaigns!

32) Comb of Wondrous Grooming, cursed:

Mu ha ha ha; I will be using this.

30) Scenery Clothing - Clothing or a tapestry that is enchanted to depict a particular scene, similar to the moving photographs and paintings from Harry Potter. Dresses may depict flowers in bloom, with clouds floating by.

Ooooh, I have visions of a nature cleric whose robes change to depict very artistic renditions of local flora wherever (s)he goes.

God, I love D&D.
Current Party (3.5, 1st Level, Bards) The Drummer - Mouthy human stoner who isn't allowed to carry our money. The Lutist - Gnome willing to get freaky with wealthy orcs if it means a +2 to his Gather Info. The Bass Lutist - Token dwarf. The Lead Singer - Always taking one for the team...and sometimes just for fun.
34 - The Lie Defector - This collar shocks you whenever you tell the truth. The collar has a sense motive modifier of -15, so it always thinks you're telling the truth.
Resident generic resident.
34 - The Lie Defector - This collar shocks you whenever you tell the truth. The collar has a sense motive modifier of -15, so it always thinks you're telling the truth.

Wait, that can't possibly be ri- *zap!*

35) Ball and Cup
a. The ball is tethered to the cup via magic, so there's no string. "Oh noes! I missed the cup! But that's OK, because... actually I have no idea."

b. The cup is enchanted to always catch the ball

c. The cup is enchanted to never catch the ball

d. The cup is enchanted to catch any object traveling in a ballistic trajectory in its general direction, with the exception of anything spherical. So it catches coins, darts, and wine corks, but not the ball.


36) Laser guided knife/scissors/razor blade - The object projects an illusionary red line where it will be cutting. The line is only projected a few inches, so it is useless for combat.

37) A knife that cuts your food for you.

38) Magic Tape - A mysterious roll of a grey, thread-woven substance. When pulled off, it reveals an underside with a very sticky substance comparable to Sovergn Glue. It can be ripped by hand and sets after several seconds, so don't hold it for too long.

39) Smoking Crossbow - This crossbow emits a small cloud of smoke after firing.

40) A small black orb with an "8" painted on one side. Generally it does nothing, but when someone talks to it directly and shakes it, fine print can be seen below the "8." The orb is convinced it can see the future, but its answers are generally useless, contradictory, and often blatantly wrong. On the other hand, it is sometimes entirely right. Imagine that!

41) Snake Box - This is a medium sized, unadorned wooden box, with handles on either end for carrying. The box looks entirely ordinary. Anything within this box is invisible, so the box always appears to be empty. You have to feel around to find things, or stick your head in to see. The box is big enough for a single medium sized character to hide in.


42) A small blackish box that says "Don't Panic" on the cover. It looks like it should open, but its jammed. An insight check is required to open it. Once opened, it will spout either useful or useless information of all sorts, including:
> Details on the lifestyle of all sorts of monsters (nature)
> Travel information (streetwise)
> Historical trivia (history)
> Summaries on the current political climate (diplomacy)

Whenever a skill challenge is presented, the box is permitted to roll a check as if it were a PC, and is considered to be trained in all knowledge/insight/diplomacy skills. Add 1/2 level mod to the roll. At 15th level, the box is considered to have all the knowledge/insight expertise feats.
When the box beats a skill check by 10 or more, it gives the PCs more information than they could possibly use, much of which is irrelevant, and doesn't stop for several moments.
When failing a skill check by 10 or more, the box spouts entirely incorrect information, requiring a Bluff check against passive insight of its bearer to detect the fabrication.
On a natural 1, the box utters an entirely useless phrase such as "they are green" or something equally useless.

Casual Magic player since 2003 (Onslaught Block). 60% Johnny, 40% Timmy. Want a free, graphics-based, collection database to inventory your cards? I made one! Feedback welcome. Program runs offline, includes powerful search options, art, Oracle text, data import/export, and a rigorously updated list of every card ever printed. Version 5.13 (Theros) now available!

So. Green needs an iconic creature type, eh? How about wurms!

One Billion Words - 1001 Fantasy Landscapes: Share DnD-ish landscapes for use in homebrew campaigns!

43) +5 Vorpal Nosering - No more ugly nose hairs for you!
Resident generic resident.
44) Wondrous Figurine: Ivory Bathtub: This is a small, intricately carved replica of an ivory bathtub. When the appropriae word of power is spoken the bathtub expands into a full sized tub familiar to nearly every member of a High Fantasy world (think Victorian or Georgian era bathtubs here). The tub is full of hot, steaming water, bubbling soap already added with rose petals floating in the water for a pleasing scent. There is soap and shampoo included (or whatever is appropriate for the setting). However privacy is not included so make sure that you are away from prying eyes. Unless you prefer to bathe in public that is... :OMG!
45) Pixie Bow - Give one to every player.

46) Lute of Silence - While the lute is played a focused silence spell is cast upon the area. The only thing not silenced is the lute.

47) Gloves of signing - Allows the character to sign in sign language.

48) Erect Pole - Never dig holes in the ground ever again!

49) Hole of Disintegration - (Fun Trap) Any non-organic thing that enters the hole is disintegrated. (You decide what parts of a character are organic...)

50) Invisible String - It's there... really!

Resident Basement Dwelling Freak of Dice

51) Flashlight of the Underdark: When activated, it makes the dark darker. It's not like anything that lives in the Underdark needs light.

52) Ring of Wishes: Put it on, make a wish. Oh, you thought it granted wishes? No, it just lets you wish.
53) The Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man - Advertise in style!

Resident Basement Dwelling Freak of Dice

:heehee

44) Wondrous Figurine: Ivory Bathtub:

54) As 44, except this one's water function is broken. Sometimes the water appears, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it's cold, sometimes it's scalding, occasionally it's frozen solid. Sometimes chocolates, leaves, grass, flowers, small cubes of wood, bars of soap, rabbits' feet, playing cards, or other flotsam is floating on top instead of rose petals.
Occasionally, when the tub appears empty, the missing water suddenly pops into place while the recipient is filling/has filled the tub, causing a mnor (but annoying) flood.
Current Party (3.5, 1st Level, Bards) The Drummer - Mouthy human stoner who isn't allowed to carry our money. The Lutist - Gnome willing to get freaky with wealthy orcs if it means a +2 to his Gather Info. The Bass Lutist - Token dwarf. The Lead Singer - Always taking one for the team...and sometimes just for fun.
55) Sneaking Screaming Dagger: Anyone who surprises and attacks an enemy unnoticed gets the Sneak Attack damage of a Rogue, as if their character level were their Rogue level. However, the Dagger is in an eternal state of screaming: "OH MY GOD WATCH OUT! THERE'S A MURDERER BEHIND YOU! LOOK OUTTTTTTT!"
:heehee


54) As 44, except this one's water function is broken. Sometimes the water appears, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it's cold, sometimes it's scalding, occasionally it's frozen solid. Sometimes chocolates, leaves, grass, flowers, small cubes of wood, bars of soap, rabbits' feet, playing cards, or other flotsam is floating on top instead of rose petals.
Occasionally, when the tub appears empty, the missing water suddenly pops into place while the recipient is filling/has filled the tub, causing a minor (but annoying) flood.

LOL
Perhaps the water is sometimes replaced by mud: boiling hot, luke warm or frozen... wait, some people like mud bathes...

Continuing a line of chilling items from me... Okay so they are mundane rather than useless, but still not very useful to most adventurers...

56) Chilling Pantry: This is simply an enchanted pantry that is magicked to keep whatever is stored in it at a cool 32 degrees fahrenheit. The door is made of a heavy oak with a clear glass or crystal pane set into it so that an observer can see into the pantry. Inside the pantry walls are lined with shelves made of various materials depending on the whims (and availability of materials) of the builder. The door is easily opened on the outside either with a mundane latch or an easily remembered password. However, user beware, the doors cannot be opened from the inside....

57) Pantry of Freezing: This is exactly the same as the Chilling Pantry but the temp is kept at a much lower temp (-20 to -40 degrees Fahrenheit). Otherwise the appearances and functions of both items are very similar. This item is known to malfunction from time to time causing temps within the pantry to reach near room temps. But only very rarely, honestly! Would I sell you a defective magic item? Would I? Why are you looking at me like that???
58) Self-folding Lap Desk: This lap desk folds out to a 2x3 surface. If used for more than 20 minutes at a time, the table has a 25% chance to snap shut on the user, snapping quills, spilling ink, throwing papers, and potentially nipping a few fingers. The table has a chance of snapping shut once every 24 hours.
Current Party (3.5, 1st Level, Bards) The Drummer - Mouthy human stoner who isn't allowed to carry our money. The Lutist - Gnome willing to get freaky with wealthy orcs if it means a +2 to his Gather Info. The Bass Lutist - Token dwarf. The Lead Singer - Always taking one for the team...and sometimes just for fun.
59) Fold Stopper - Tired of that self-folding lap desk snapping down at you at seemingly random times? The fold stopper is a specially enchanted sliver of wood that when expertly placed in the corner of the lap desk will stop it from slamming shut. Disclaimer: We are not affiliated with the creators of the Self-Folding Lap Desk and do not garauntee that this product will stop the desk from slamming shut.

Resident Basement Dwelling Freak of Dice

60) Miracle Oven: A truly wondrous item brought to you by Kender, Tinker and Company! This oven in no way resembles what most people in the Kingdom are familiar with when they speak of an oven. It is a box shaped object about 4 feet on a side with a door on the front and a thck glass or crystal pane on the top, lying flat. The door is hinged to open downwar, but a few models will have doors that open to one sidde or another. The door also has a thick glass or crystal pane mounted in it that allows the user to see inside the box. Inside the box are two metal shelves. The glass on top of the object has four (sometimes three and occasionally five) spiral grooves carved into it. The grooves in the glass top allow the magic to channel heat through the box to pots and pans that are set on top of them. In addition there is one knob (occasionally on older models a lever) for each of the heating points. This allows the experienced chef to cook his or her Lords favorite soups without fear of burning the house down. The inside of the box is used to cook meats and various other meals and is heated through the use of magic to cook the meal in a consistant and thorough manner unobtainable with traditional open fire places. However cooks have been known to complain that the oven, though useful, simply cannot replace a good old fashioned barbecue. Please follow all useage and installation directions exactly as printed as failing to do so can result in all sort of nasty accidents.
DISCLAIMER:The manufacturers of the Miracle Oven wish to inform you that we in no way condone the use of this oven to cook small children or halflings, Kender or Gnomes for dinner - or for any other meal come to think of it. Thats just sick.

61) Miracle Garbage Disposal: Another miracle item brought to you by the Geniuses at Kender, Tinker and Company! This item has Maids and Kitchen staff all over the Kingdom in a twitter. It is a simple ceramic plate that can be mounted on a wall or counter anywhere that a installer or chef would desire to have it. The plate has a small metal, leather or cloth trap door in the center of it. Any food or garbage that is pushed through this trap is consumed by the space of Devouring that is located on the other side. Based on the strange cursed item called a Bag of Devouring (the poor cousin of the Bag of Holding) it is a true wonder for kitchens all over the Kingdom. we would like to state that putting to much refuse into the Miracle Garbage Disposal at once may result in it spitting up the garbage in a rather impressive - and messy - fountain. "I don' know what Ah woulda dun widout it" Raves the Orc Chef Mallic Gro-Ozark of the King's Own Restaurant in Capital City. "Ah aint had no trouble wit dose sneaky Halflings since I installed one at da front door!"
DISCLAIMER: We here at Kender, Tinker and Company do not condone the use of this item as a trap device. It is solely intended as a garbage disposal unit not a Crime Deterrant System.
59) Fold Stopper - Tired of that self-folding lap desk snapping down at you at seemingly random times? The fold stopper is a specially enchanted sliver of wood that when expertly placed in the corner of the lap desk will stop it from slamming shut. Disclaimer: We are not affiliated with the creators of the Self-Folding Lap Desk and do not garauntee that this product will stop the desk from slamming shut.

Depending on how much your slivers are and how cheap you can find broken lap desks for...that might just be cheaper than buying one that works...
Current Party (3.5, 1st Level, Bards) The Drummer - Mouthy human stoner who isn't allowed to carry our money. The Lutist - Gnome willing to get freaky with wealthy orcs if it means a +2 to his Gather Info. The Bass Lutist - Token dwarf. The Lead Singer - Always taking one for the team...and sometimes just for fun.
62) Log - [sing]Log... log... it's big, it's heavy, it's wood! Log... log... it's better than bad; it's good![/sing]

Resident Basement Dwelling Freak of Dice

62) The Rabbits Singing Sword: This sword was once rumored to have been used by a Knight working under a strange curse: Physically he was cursed to resemble a grey Hare. In one significant battle he allowed a companion of his to die when he fled in fear and with her dying breath she cursed him to take on this singular appearance. The sword itself, whether intentionally or not, would from that day forth be known as the Rabbits (or The Rabbit Knight's) Sword. Furthermore, whenever drawn from its sheath the sword is reputed to sing. Its voice is perfect in pitch and tenor and as beautiful as an angels. The song it sings celebrates the 'bravery' of its original owner as he fled from the scene of the battle. The sword has reappeared in story and myth ever since then, sometimes with the additional curse that any who uses it in battle gains the original owners curse. In additon the sword prevents its bearer from ever gaining surprise in any situation where it is drawn.
63) Backwards Staff of Geas/Quest: You can cast Geas/Quest as often as you want, but only on yourself.
63) Backwards Staff of Geas/Quest: You can cast Geas/Quest as often as you want, but only on yourself.

Oh, the humanity!!
Current Party (3.5, 1st Level, Bards) The Drummer - Mouthy human stoner who isn't allowed to carry our money. The Lutist - Gnome willing to get freaky with wealthy orcs if it means a +2 to his Gather Info. The Bass Lutist - Token dwarf. The Lead Singer - Always taking one for the team...and sometimes just for fun.
64. The Dancing Gnome - This is a simple wind up gnome that dances a little jig to some music that it plays when the key on its back is turned. But the wizard who enchanted this little toy had a dark side. In a tense situation, particularly when a PC is trying to sneak up on someone or thinks they are being stalked, the gnome will start up by itself and play its music and dance for a few seconds.

65. Toy Catapult - This is a small wooden catapult. Not very big at all it is able to toss something about the size of a marble about a dozen feet. Its a piece to an ancient game played by legendary war lords to hone their tactics. The entire set includes 2 armies one with its own fort to defend the other with a small amount of siege vehicles to attack the fort with. The pieces of this game are linked to the players' minds so they need only to think an order and the pieces will go about following it (with a delay to account for the time it would take a messenger to arrive of course).

66. Gnome in a box - This box looks like a small wooden crate. Inside it however is a gnome. The box comes with a small table that has several buttons on it each with a rune of the common language. When a rune is pressed there is a glowing symbol in the box that corresponds with the rune. To use this box you simply enter a query, be it a math problem or a question about a city, and the gnome inside will quickly scribe a note with the answer and slip it out the slot in the front of the box.
65. Toy Catapult - This is a small wooden catapult. Not very big at all it is able to toss something about the size of a marble about a dozen feet. Its a piece to an ancient game played by legendary war lords to hone their tactics. The entire set includes 2 armies one with its own fort to defend the other with a small amount of siege vehicles to attack the fort with.

Awesome. This will make a grand appearance in my world.
Current Party (3.5, 1st Level, Bards) The Drummer - Mouthy human stoner who isn't allowed to carry our money. The Lutist - Gnome willing to get freaky with wealthy orcs if it means a +2 to his Gather Info. The Bass Lutist - Token dwarf. The Lead Singer - Always taking one for the team...and sometimes just for fun.
66) A dog collar of silent barking that works most of the time but has two main drawbacks: First, while the collar does silence the noises coming out of the dog's mouth, that includes whining at the door to go outside, chewing on furniture, etc...Second, the collar amplifies a random bark to double the normal volume every few days. There doesn't seem to be a set pattern as to when or why this happens.
Current Party (3.5, 1st Level, Bards) The Drummer - Mouthy human stoner who isn't allowed to carry our money. The Lutist - Gnome willing to get freaky with wealthy orcs if it means a +2 to his Gather Info. The Bass Lutist - Token dwarf. The Lead Singer - Always taking one for the team...and sometimes just for fun.
67: The Automatic Signpost: whenever this ordinary looking wooden sign post hears the name of a City anywhere on the same Plane, it spins around a few times and ends up pointing in the direction of that City, with the travel times for walking there, riding a coach, boat, airship, and/or any other travel device available to your setting.

Usually found pointing to the other end of the world from the last person who tried to figure out how to get furtest away from his angry wife/family/tax-collector.

68: Folding sword: This greatsword can be folded and crumpled like a piece of paper, although it is remarkably sharp when swung around in combat.

69: Ori-auto-gami: This large sheet of paper automatically folds itself into a representation of the last word written on it.

70: Seven mile boots: Fabled to be once worn by a Giant Giant, these days it's hard to find anyone with seven mile long feet.

71: Toothpick of Vampire Slaying: This heavily enchanted 'toothpick' was once used by a tiny pixie to save his people from the wrath of a dangerous pixie vampire. Apparently it relied more on magic then being a stake, and it works surprisingly well for staking Medium or greater sized vampires.

72: +5 Adamantine Paperweight: For holding down stacks of papers. Can also be thrown through brick walls in a pinch.
Epic Dungeon Master

Want to give your players a kingdom of their own? I made a 4e rule system to make it happen!

Your Kingdom awaits!
Update 5th Sep 2011: Added a sample kingdom, as well as sample of play.
Pluisjen, those are brilliant.


66) A dog collar of silent barking that works most of the time but has two main drawbacks: First, while the collar does silence the noises coming out of the dog's mouth, that includes whining at the door to go outside, chewing on furniture, etc...Second, the collar amplifies a random bark to double the normal volume every few days. There doesn't seem to be a set pattern as to when or why this happens.

73) Bolt Collar - Magic armor/weapon that grants canine familiars/beast companions an enhancement bonus to AC, attacks, and damage. Daily power: The Super Bark.

IMAGE(http://img265.imageshack.us/img265/2806/doggy1qu.gif)

:D

Casual Magic player since 2003 (Onslaught Block). 60% Johnny, 40% Timmy. Want a free, graphics-based, collection database to inventory your cards? I made one! Feedback welcome. Program runs offline, includes powerful search options, art, Oracle text, data import/export, and a rigorously updated list of every card ever printed. Version 5.13 (Theros) now available!

So. Green needs an iconic creature type, eh? How about wurms!

One Billion Words - 1001 Fantasy Landscapes: Share DnD-ish landscapes for use in homebrew campaigns!

74. The Loremaster's Dictionary - Whenever you're looking up a word, this dictionary automatically flips to the word you're looking for.

75. Ioun Stone of Late Warning - This stone will yell out warnings for attacks seconds after they happen. "You probably should have ducked against that magic missile!"

76. Neverending Soap - This soap bar never runs out. Ever.
Resident generic resident.
74. The Loremaster's Dictionary - Whenever you're looking up a word, this dictionary automatically flips to the word you're looking for.

I have a character that would like to purchase this post haste!

75. Ioun Stone of Late Warning - This stone will yell out warnings for attacks seconds after they happen. "You probably should have ducked against that magic missile!"

I am amused and will abuse my GM until he lets me purchase this as a gag gift for our psionic character.
Current Party (3.5, 1st Level, Bards) The Drummer - Mouthy human stoner who isn't allowed to carry our money. The Lutist - Gnome willing to get freaky with wealthy orcs if it means a +2 to his Gather Info. The Bass Lutist - Token dwarf. The Lead Singer - Always taking one for the team...and sometimes just for fun.