Unhinged FAQ - Note change to Old Fogey

3 posts / 0 new
Last post
Unhinged release tournaments: November 20, 2004

Unhinged official release date: November 19, 2004

Normally, I'm not let anywhere near the rules. In fact, the rules team has started meeting in a secret location just to lessen the chance that I might show up. But when the subject of the _Unhinged_ set comes up, the opposite appears to happen. When I brought up the fact that we needed to produce an _Unhinged_ FAQ(TIWDAWCC), the rules team left skid marks getting away. I was told that working on the rules for the _Unhinged_ set would drive a man insane, but I was a perfect candidate because according to our new rules manager John Carter, "that apple ain't got far to fall."

So, here it is. The answer to all . . . okay, most . . . I mean some . . . a number greater than zero of your questions about the latest _Un_ set.

Let's start with some non-game specific questions.
General Questions

How many cards are there in the set?

There are 140 cards -- 55 commons, 40 uncommons, 40 rares, and 5 basic lands.

How many cards are there in a booster?

There are 15 cards per booster -- 10 commons, 3 uncommons, 1 rare and 1 basic land. You heard me, a cool, _Unhinged_ special basic land in every pack. Okay, this shouldn't be that much of a surprise as it works just like it did in the _Unglued_(TM) set. But it's still cool.

How many cards have premium versions?

Every card has a premium (commonly called "foil") equivalent. Those premiums exist at a rate very similar to a normal _Magic_ expansion.

What languages does the _Unhinged_ set exist in?

Just English.

Next, we get to the questions about the set's mechanics.

"Artist Matters" Cards

How do you handle a card with multiple artists?

Any card illustrated by more than one artist is considered to be illustrated by both artists. The simplest way to think about this is that multi-artist cards are treated by "artist matters" cards much like multi-colored cards are treated by "color matters" cards.

What do we do if the artist is listed incorrectly?

"Artist matter" cards work off the name printed on the card even if that name is incorrect. Differentiation due to typos doesn't count as separate artists. Pseudonyms do.

How do we treat artist names with nicknames (such as Drawn Together's Pete "Fear Me" Venters)?

Ignore the nickname. As far as "Artist Matters" cards go, Pete "Fear Me" Venters is the same as simple Pete Venters (although possibly slightly more scary).

Can I count a card as if it was done by a certain artist as long as some version of the card (with the same name) is illustrated by the same artist?

No. A card may only count artists that are printed on that very card.

"Fraction" Cards

What happens when I get hit by a creature with a fractional power (for example, a 3{1/2} / 3{1/2} Assquatch)?

Uh, you take three-and-a-half damage. I'm not sure I understand the question.

What if I'm forced to pay {1/2} a life. How does that work?

Well, you pay {1/2} a life. I'm missing something.

What happens to the other half of the white mana if I pay half a white mana for Little Girl?

Oh, I get it. You're hung up on Comp. Rule 104.1 (The _Magic_ game uses only natural numbers. You may not choose a fractional number, deal fractional damage, and so on. When a spell or ability could generate a fractional number, the spell or ability will tell you whether to round up or down.). Yeah, we don't follow that rule in Silver-Bordered Land. If you take three-and-a-half damage, you drop to sixteen-and-a-half life. If you then pay half a life, you drop to sixteen. As for that half of white mana, if you don't use it, you would burn for one half and drop to fifteen-and-a-half life.

Since I'm ignoring Rule 104.1, when choosing a number can I pick any fractional number?

Whoa, hold on there, let's not get crazy. For right now (and I reserve the right to change this with future _Un_ sets), whenever you choose a number, if that number is written as _p_/_q_ in lowest terms, _q_ must be 1 or 2. If you stopped taking math in high school, for any fraction the greatest legal denominator is 2. And if you've mentally repressed all math-related knowledge, the only fraction you can choose is {1/2} (and yes, 1{1/2}, 2{1/2}, etc. is fair game).

Does this mean that while playing silver-bordered cards I can break up Pyrotechnics to deal {1/2} damage to eight creatures (trust me, I can come up with a reason)?

Yes. Yes, you can.

"Gotcha" Cards

For verbal gotcha cards, what counts as a legal gotcha?

The word must be used exactly. The only exception is plurals. If your opponent says "guys", that triggers a gotcha for the word "guy."

When doing verbal cards, how do you treat homophones (words that sound alike but are spelled differently -- such as wait and weight), homographs (words that are spelled the same but sound differently -- such as read and read), homonyms (words that are spelled and sound alike but have different meetings -- such as counter and counter), and homarids (low-level, highly confusing lobsterfolk from the _Fallen Empires_(TM) set)?

Let's go through them one at a time.

Homophones -- You have an Evil Eye of Orms-by-Gore in your graveyard. Your opponent says, "I attack." You say "Gotcha!" (I is a homophone of eye). NO GOOD. The words have to be the same as the one written on the card.

Homographs -- You have a Contract from Below in your graveyard. Your opponent says, "Because you're playing banned cards in your deck, I hope you contract an annoying but non-deadly disease." You say "Gotcha!". (Contract is a homograph of contract.) GOOD. Any pronunciation of the word counts.

Homonyms -- You have a Flash Counter in your graveyard. Your opponent says, "I'll put a counter on my Triskelion." You say "Gotcha!" (Counter is a homonym of counter.) GOOD. Any definition of the word spelled the same way is legal.

Homarids -- Your opponent says, "Look at me. I'm manipulating counters every turn in such a way that you can never figure out what's going on." NO GOOD. Well, if you have to use lobster people I guess it's okay (it's hard to claim anything's too silly for the _Unhinged_ set), but don't flaunt it.

Let's say I have Save Life out and my opponent says "lifeline." Can I say "Gotcha!"?

Can you say it? Sure. Will it do anything? No. In order to trigger a verbal gotcha the player must say the exact forbidden word. A longer word that contains the word (like "lifeline" does with "life") can't be gotcha'ed.

"Mini-game" Cards (Eye to Eye, Face to Face, Head to Head, Mouth to Mouth, Side to Side)

What happens if we tie?

In order to get the effect, you have to win. Where I come from, tying ain't winning.

Can I interfere with my opponent to try and make them blink, breathe, etc.?

No. You need to beat your opponent at the mini-game honestly. This is one of those rules that your playgroup might choose to ignore.

Can one player concede before a mini-game begins (for example, if you're playing a professional arm wrestler/pro player)?

Yes. No one is forced to play a mini-game.

CARD-SPECIFIC NOTES

_____

What is this card's name?

The card in its natural state has no name. It's official name is, well, nothing.

How is it pronounced?

Open your mouth but don't say anything. Like that.

Where does it fall alphabetically for cards like Zzzyxas's Abyss?

I've chosen to take a very philosophical stance on this and claim that nothing precedes something. Therefore it is first alphabetically.

How many characters is this card's name? Do I count the underscores?

This card is zero characters long. The underscores aren't actually part of the name. We used them merely to clearly demonstrate that nothing is there.

The card says I can play the ability "anywhere, anytime." Does "anytime" mean I can play it at a time that the ability can't normally be played?

No. It means you may play this ability anytime you are able to play an ability.

Can I change this card to be Jojo, the Dog-faced Lizard Boy?

No.

Can I change it to be Solar-Powered Ninja Penguin?

No.

Can I change it to be Siamese Pygmy Pole-Vaulter?

No. To save us some space, maybe I should let you know what it can become. You may change this card to have the name of any _Magic_ card in existence. The reason for this is that there's this picky little rule that only allows you to change items into things that exist in the game. (Stupid comp. rules.)

Can I change the card to have the name of a _Magic_ card in a language other than English?

Be my guest.

If a card makes my opponent name a card and they pause, can I claim they've named this card?

I'm going to issue you a caution for unsportsmanlike conduct simply for asking the question.

So can I use the ability in flavor text to change the card's flavor text?

Just between us, there is a little rule that states that flavor text has no rules relevance. But there's also a rule that says that the card text supercedes the rulebook. It really comes down to this -- someone just has to make a decision. Now if that person had been a rules person, he or she might have made his decision based on criteria like rules integrity or rules consistency. But as the guy writing the FAQ(TIWDAWCC), it comes down to me. I have a completely different set of criteria: what's more fun? And with those criteria the answer is clear. Of course you can use the ability. Just remember that you can only change the flavor text into a piece of flavor text that exists on another card.

"Ach! Hans, Run!"

How do I mention the creature that has no name?

Just say "Ach! Hans, run! It's the" and then say nothing. When you bring out the no-named creature, point out that you did in fact say nothing.

Can I use a nickname of a creature, such as "Tim" for Prodigal Sorcerer?

No. You have to use the card's actual name.

Aesthetic Consultation

See the Artist Matters rules above.

Ambiguity

So what does this card do?

That's the entire point of the card, figuring out what it does. Still, this is supposed to be the place you go when you're confused by the card wording. I'm torn. Okay, I'll give you a clue. This card cares about two types of cards: (1) cards that counter spells; and (2) cards that use counters. Now take this knowledge and go reread the card. You can do it. I know you can.

I reread the card. I'm still confused. Can you please help me?

I'm such a softie. Here is the text in "non-confusing-speak": Whenever a player plays a counterspell or plays a card that makes use of counters, you get to choose to do one of the following: counter the next spell; or put a counter on a card that has counters.

Why couldn't the actual card just say that?

Are you asking us to make Ambiguity less ambiguous?

What exactly does "put an additional counter on a permanent" mean?

It means that you may find a permanent in play with at least one counter on it and put an additional counter of the same kind on it. For example, there's a Grizzly Bear with a +1/+1 counter on it. I may use Ambiguity's ability to add a second +1/+1 counter.

What if the card has two different kinds of counters on it?

Then you can choose which kind of counter you want to add.

Artful Looter

See the Artist Matters rules above.

Ass Whuppin'

Let me quote the FAQ (called the QAS) from the _Unglued_ set:

Can I target players in other games with _Unglued_ cards or effects?

The _Unglued_ set is wacky -- but not quite that wacky. All effects stay within the game where they are being played, with the sole exception of the Double cards, which create an effect that carries over to the next _Magic_ game those two players play together. Double cards can't affect players in other games.

Doesn't Ass Whuppin' contradict this?

Why yes it does. Welcome to the game of _Magic: the Gathering_.

What if the owner of the card doesn't want it to be destroyed?

Long ago we decided to not let the player's personal whims affect whether cards work or not. If we let players choose whether or not a card's effect worked or not, the very fabric of the game would unravel:

"I Shock you."

"I choose not to take the two damage."

We specifically designed Ass Whuppin' to only affect people playing with _Un_ cards. This means that if you choose to play with silver-bordered cards within sight of other _Magic_ games also using silver-bordered cards, you will always have an Ass Whuppin' hanging over your head.

Can I destroy a black-bordered _Un_ card such as the basic land?

Is the expression "silvered-bordered card" too difficult for you?

Can I destroy a silvered bordered permanent in a game other than _Magic_ (say, _Netrunner_)?

Well, _Magic_ rules will allow it, but that doesn't mean that other games' will. For example, just because one country says it's okay to do things in other countries doesn't mean its okay with the other country. So can you destroy it? The answer is only if they let you.

Can I stand on a chair to see other games?

No, you must be seated.

In order to destroy a card, must I be able to see what it is?

No. You merely have to be able to see the game. You do have to target it though, which means that through some means (like asking one of the players in that game who would benefit from having the card destroyed) you have to figure out what the card is.

Assquatch

See the Fractions rules above.

Atinlay Igpay

I've tried reading this card and failed. What the heck does it say?

The card Latin Pig is in a language known as Pig Latin. Here's how it works. This language takes an English word, and moves all the consonants before the first vowel to the end of the word and then adds "ay." If the word starts with a vowel, it merely adds "ay" onto the end. For example, the sentence "Man, that Pig Latin is one weird language" becomes "Anmay, atthay Igpay Atinlay isay, oneay eirdway anguagelay."

Let's say my opponent says "reaturecay" rather "eaturecray" due to his poor grasp of the Pig Latin language, does he or she have to sacrifice Atinlay Igpay?

I'm going to invoke the "Don't Be a Jerk" rule. If a player is making an honest attempt to speak in Pig Latin, he or she doesn't have to sacrifice Latin Pig even if he or she messes up the Pig Latin a little. But if that player says a word in normal English, bye bye little piggie.

Let's say I'm choosing a creature type for my Volrath's Laboratory and I'm inspired by Atinlay Igpay. Is its creature type Igpay or Pig?

This question actually caused quite a debate here in R&D. But I'm invoking the Power-of-the-Guy-Who-Has-To-Write-the-FAQ(TIWDAWCC) rule to choose my way. (This doesn't work in real _Magic_ due to the existence of the Rules Team.) Atinlay Igpay, or Latin Pig in English, has the unique distinction of not existing in an English version. Nonetheless, _Magic_ rules are dictated by the English version of each card, even if such a card doesn't exist. As it's pretty clear that Latin Pig is a Pig in English, I'm ruling that the creature type for things such as Mistform Ultimus and Volrath's Laboratory is Pig.

If I have Atinlay Igpay in play as well as a gotcha card and my opponent does the trigger condition, will "Otchagay!" get me my gotcha card?

No. We treat Pig Latin like a foreign language. All trigger words (that is words that by their being uttered force something to happen) only trigger if the exact word is used. Words in another language, even if they mean the same thing, will not trigger anything. This means that you must say "Gotcha!" (and lose the Pig) to get a gotcha card, but that saying a word chosen by Keeper of the Sacred Word's controller won't make the Keeper any bigger.

If my opponent asks me for information, such as the name of an artist, must I speak in English or can I answer in Pig Latin?

You aren't forced to speak in English but you must make sure you provide the information to your opponent in a way they can understand. With Pig Latin, this shouldn't be too hard, but feel free to write things down if need be.

Do I have to announce each spell as I play it?

No. You must convey that you are spelling it, but this can be done non-verbally.

Avatar of Me

Suppose my eye color was brown or hazel, can my Avatar be brown or hazel? I thought the Magic game only supported the basic five colors.

Maybe in Black-Bordered World. Here in Silver-Bordered World, the accepted colors are as varied as eye color (plus pink, we'll get to that near the end). If your eyes are brown, your Avatar is brown.

Does that mean that when I'm asked to choose a color, while playing with silver-bordered cards, that I can choose brown or hazel (or gasp, even pink)?

Yes, it does. Have fun.

Do colored contact lenses count for eye color?

Yes, they do.

Great. Can I take them out in response to a spell to save my creature (for example, I'm wearing white colored contact lenses and my opponent plays Execute)?

Why yes you may. Just remember to say, "In response to your declaration, I remove my contact lenses."

Let's suppose I'm actress Kate Bosworth (she has one blue eye and one hazel eye -- this is important to know). What color is my Avatar of Me?

Blue and hazel. Yes, Kate's Avatar is multi-colored.

AWOL

Is there a way to remove something from the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game zone, perhaps with a Wish?

Man, you're a troublemaker. No. No, there isn't. Just be glad we decided to let you have your card when the game ended. An early version of this card involved a paper shredder.

Bad Ass

Do I need to growl in any particular way to activate Bad Ass?

No, as long as you utter a sound that a reasonable person could interpret as a growl. Remember, the "Don't Be a Jerk" rule applies here.

[b]Basic Land (Plains, Island, Swamp, Mountain, and Forest)[/i]

Are these cards legal in tournaments?

Yes. This is why we gave them a black border.

Does it matter that the cards don't have any word other than their title?

No, the rules only need the title to signify everything else.

B-I-N-G-O

Can B-I-N-G-O get more than one +9/+9 bonus?

Yes. If all the squares are filled in, it gets eight +9/+9 bonuses (Three up and down, three right to left and two diagonal) to become a 73/73.

Blast from the Past

If I cycle Blast from the Past, can I use the madness ability?

Yes, you can. If you pay {1}{R}{R} ({1}{R} to cycle the card and {R} to use the madness ability), you can deal 2 damage to target creature or player and draw a card.

When I play Blast from the Past using madness, can I use kicker or buyback?

Yes, but you do need to pay for the kicker and/or buyback cost(s). If you pay the kicker cost, you get a 1/1 goblin. If you pay the buyback cost, the spell returns to your hand instead of going to the graveyard. This means for {7}{R}{R}{R}{R} you can cycle Blast from the Past, then pay madness to play it, then play kicker and buyback. This means you will deal 2 damage to target creature or player, draw a card, put Blast to the Past back in your hand, and get a 1/1 goblin.

If I play both flashback and buyback what happens?

The flashback is a self-replacement effect meaning that the card will be removed from the game before buyback would return it to your hand.

If I play both flashback and kicker what happens?

It works the way you'd hope. You get to deal 2 damage to target creature or player and get a 1/1 goblin. The spell is then removed from the game.

Let's review:

cycling + madness = good;

madness + kicker = good;

madness + buyback = good;

madness + kicker + buyback = good;

flashback + kicker = good;

kicker + buyback = good; and

flashback + buyback = bad.

Bloodletter

When counting a card with an article (The, A, An) such as The Fallen Apart, do I treat it as starting with an F or a T?

An F. Treat all cards as they would be filed alphabetically. This means you ignore any articles in card titles.

Does _____ (the card with no name) start with a letter?

No, not unless it gives itself a name.

Is {(r)} a separate letter? If not, where does it get alphabetized?

As the flavor text demonstrates, {(r)} isn't treated as its own letter but rather as Ae.

Does Bloodletter's effect count itself?

Yes. Be careful how many B cards you play.

Booster Tutor

Can I get a booster of any _Magic_ expansion?

Any printed booster? Yes. Sorry, no online virtual boosters allowed.

Even a booster from an expansion not legal in the format I'm playing?

Yes. This card allows you to bring "illegal" cards into play. So, go ahead and crack that "Alpha" booster.

What happens if I use Booster Tutor to get a creature and then put the creature in a Time Machine?

Booster Tutor won't remove the creature "at end of game" if it's in the "removed-from-the-game zone" at the game's end. Note that this only applies to Time Machine (thus far) as no other card keeps a card removed from game beyond the game's end.

Bosom Buddy

Are hyphenated words considered one word or two?

I won't tell your English teacher you asked. One.

Brushstroke Paintermage

Can I choose any artist I want (say Picasso)?

No, when choosing an artist you are only allowed to pick an artist that has illustrated a _Magic_ card. (You know, real artists like myself rather than hacks like Picasso.)

If I use this ability when another player is playing a permanent, can I permanently (mind the pun) change the artist of that card?

Sorry, Mr. Rules Lawyer, you can't do that. As the card only targets a permanent, you aren't able to affect it when it's a spell, only once it's come into play.

Bursting Beebles

If my opponent controls two permanents illustrated by the same person but the artists listed aren't identical, does the Beeble effect work?

No, the two names must be identical for the cards to be considered the same name (even if one name is simply a pseudonym for the other). The one exception is typos. If an artist's name is misspelled but it's clear what name it's supposed to be, it's treated as the same artist.

On Artful Looter, the artist is listed as Heather "Erica Gassalasca-Jape" Hudson. (Erica Gassalasca-Jape is Heather's pseudonym.) Which "artist" should I consider this card illustrated by?

You may treat the card as if it was illustrated by Heather Hudson and Erica Gassalasca-Jape. And if you really think about it, it was.

Cardpecker

What counts as touching the table?

For purposes of this card, if any part of a player's hand comes into contact with any part of the tabletop, he or she is "touching the table." A player touching the bottom of the tabletop while playing the Enter the Dungeon subgame also counts.

If my opponent's leg is touching one of the table legs, does it count?

Did you even read the answer to the first question?

Carnivorous Death Parrot

Must I say the flavor text aloud?

Yes.

Can I use sign language to satisfy the "saying" part without actually speaking?

No.

Cheap Ass

What happens to the other half a mana?

If you don't spend it, you will mana burn for half a life.

Cheatyface

Isn't it "out of spirit" for this card to even have an entry in the FAQ?

Yeah, I guess it is. I do feel obliged though to point out that the card's mana cost is {UUU} and not {UU}.

Circle of Protection: Art

See the Artist Matters rules above.

If I use the first ability and then use the second ability to return the card to my hand, does the first ability still work?

Yes. The first ability creates a shield that lasts until the end of the turn.

City of Ass

What happens if I don't spend the one-half mana?

Mana burn, baby. Mana burn.

Collector Protector

The rules text doesn't specify the _Magic_ game. Can I use a non-land card from another game?

No, it has to be a _Magic_ card.

Does the card have to be any good?

Heavens, no. That's the whole point. This card is part of R&D's secret agenda to raise the value of all bad cards. (Well, it was R&D's secret agenda.)

Do I get the card back at the end of the game?

No. Unless you happen to live somewhere where the law says otherwise. Remember kids, the law trumps all _Magic_ rules.

Can I give my opponent a card from the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone?

Yes, you may. Be aware that you will have a different deck during the next game/match. Luckily, _Un_ sets have a special rule in tournament play that says that its okay if cards get destroyed/given away during the course of play.

Creature Guy

See the Gotcha rules above.

Curse of the Fire Penguin

Huh?

Yeah, this is the kind of card that created FAQs in the first place. Here's how the card works. It's an enchant creature card. When you enchant the creature, you overlay the upside-down card bottom (everything below the grey line) with the card bottom of the enchanted creature (everything below the art). The enchanted creature is now a 6/5 penguin with trample illustrated by Matt Thompson with an _Unhinged_ expansion symbol. Whenever the enchanted creature is put into a graveyard from play, move Curse of the Fire Penguin onto a new creature. Simple, really.

Is the enchanted creature red?

No, because the card doesn't overwrite mana cost, which is the thing that determines a card's color.

Deal Damage

See the Gotcha rules above.

Double Header

If there are no other creatures in play, do I have to return Double Header to my hand?

Yes.

Drawn Together

See the Artist Matters rules above.

Let's suppose I have two Drawn Togethers in play, one set to Phil Foglio and one set to Kaja Foglio. When I activate my Mishra's Factory (illustrated by both Foglios) how big is it?

The Mishra's Factory would be a 6/6.

Duh

Can Duh destroy a card if another version of it exists with reminder text?

No. Duh only cares if the card it's targeting has reminder text. This means, for example, that Duh can destroy an _Eighth Edition_ Shivan Dragon but not a _Seventh Edition_(TM) one (flying got reminder text for the first time in the _Eighth Edition_ set).

Can I destroy _____ (the card with no name)? It has reminder text in its flavor text?

Yes, you can. Duh doesn't care where the reminder text is.

Dumb Ass

See the Fractions rules above.

Elvish House Party

Whose watch do we use?

That is up to the players playing. In any official setting, use the watch of the head judge (or the person designated by the head judge). I do suggest that an official timekeeper is chosen before play begins.

Can a player wait several hours before choosing to attack with Elvish House Party?

No. As with any _Magic_ game, players are expected to play at a reasonable pace.

Emcee

If I have two Emcees in play, do I have to announce the creature's entrance twice?

Yes, if you want the bonus of both cards.

Can I use Emcee's ability on creature's I don't control?

Yes, you may.

Can I use Emcee's abilities on creatures without names (such as _____ or a morphed creature)?

No. In order to get a bonus, they must have a name that can be presented. (Note that _____ has the ability to give itself a name before it comes into play.

Can I use nicknames (such as "Tim" for Prodigal Sorcerer) when I present them?

You can use the nickname but you don't get the +1/+1 counter unless you use the card's given name.

Enter the Dungeon

Do Double cards and Time Machine apply to the next subgame?

Yes, subgames do count as games for the purposes of "the next game played" cards.

What happens if we're in the middle of a subgame and someone plays an Enter the Dungeon?

Start the new subgame under another table.

Erase (Not the _Urza's Legacy_ One)

See the Artist Matters rules above.

Eye to Eye

See the Mini-game rules above.

What happens if I target a creature I control?

Get a mirror. I predict it will be a tie. See the Mini-game rules above.

Wizards.Com Boards Net Rep

DCI Level 2 Judge

Questions don't have to make sense, but answers do.

Face to Face

See the Mini-game rules above.

The Fallen Apart

When The Fallen Apart loses a limb, do I have to rip it off the card?

Heavens, no. The dotted lines are to provide spaces to use counters to mark that a limb has fallen off. You aren't supposed to rip the card.

If The Fallen Apart blocks a creature with double strike, does it lose two appendages?

Yes.

Farewell to Arms

Can the hand behind the back be used for other functions (such as touching Gluetius Maximus)?

Yes, as long as the hand remains behind the back, you may use it however you wish.

Fascist Art Director

See the Artist Matters rules above.

Suppose I'm playing a game with artist Matt Cavotta. I play Fascist Art Director and give him protection from Matt Cavotta. Is Matt allowed to Shock my Fascist Art Director?

If this were black-bordered land, the answer would be yes as Matt never targets anything, his spells do. But as this is silver-bordered land where having fun and doing cool stuff supercedes the pesky rules, I'm going to say, what the hell, Matt can't target the Art Director. (And remember, as an illustrator in the _Unglued_ set, I'm subjecting myself to the same fate as the artists.)

Fat Ass

Does drinking count?

Nope, only chewing, licking, sucking, and swallowing.

Is gum food?

You might not believe this, but this question sucked up more R&D time than all the other questions on this list combined. Is gum food? Do you "eat" it? Meaty issues. The debates went on for days. In the end, it became clear that the majority of R&D members don't consider gum food and that an even larger group feel gum isn't eaten. But what ultimately tipped the scales was the card itself. Fat Ass wants you to keep eating to keep him big. Chewing gum is just too easy. So, I make a ruling from on high -- no gum!

Can I react to an effect by eating?

Yes. Perhaps you'll have the joy of saying, "In response to your Lightning Blast, I'll eat this burrito."

First Come, First Served

Do token creatures have collector numbers?

No. A creature has to have a collector number to get First Come, First Served's bonus. If neither creature has a collector number, neither will get the bonus.

What if a card doesn't have a collector number (due to a misprint or just being old)?

Just as with tokens, it can't get First Come, First Served's bonus.

When you say, "if two or more creatures are tied, they all have first strike", does "all" mean all the creatures or just the ones that are tied?

Just the ones that are tied.

Flaccify

See the Fractions rules above.

Form of the Squirrel

Does the "you" count the squirrel token?

No, "you" only refers to "you, the player" not "you, the squirrel." This means, for instance, that the squirrel token can be the target of spells and abilities.

Fraction Jackson

Can I return a card if a {1/2} appears somewhere on it other than the text box?

Yes. For example, Fat Ass has a toughness of 3{1/2}. It is a legal target for Fraction Jackson.

How about cards that have a half-a-mana symbol such as Little Girl?

Fraction Jackson can only affect cards with an actual {1/2}, so it can't get half-a-mana cards like Little Girl.

Framed!

See the Artist Matters rules above.

Suppose I choose Pete Venters. Can I untap all my cards illustrated by Pete Venters while tapping all my opponent's cards illustrated by Pete Venters?

No, you may only choose tapping or untapping. You can't mix and match.

Can I just untap/tap some subsection of my cards illustrated by Pete Venters?

No. You must untap or tap all cards by the selected artist.

Frankie Peanuts

What happens if you give an answer and then something happens that keeps you from doing what you said?

Note the words "if able" in the ability. You have to abide by the answer if able.

Must the question be about a game-related item?

No, but please be aware that the question shouldn't be about anything that your opponent(s) would find objectionable.

Frazzled Editor

Is the Frazzled Editor a Bureacrat or a Bureaucrat?

A Bureaucrat. (So, yes you can put him in the Bureaucrat deck.) He just hasn't gotten around to fixing it yet.

So what exactly is the reminder text for "protection from wordy"? (It's a little hard to read.)

_(Something is wordy if it has four or more lines of text in its text box.)_

So how does protection from wordy work?

Protection from wordy is just like any protection. But instead of looking for the quality of, say, being red, it looks for the property of having four or more lines of text.

Does flavor text count for the four lines of text?

No. The word "text" refers to rules text only, meaning that flavor text and reminder text doesn't count.

What if a line has both italicized and non-italicized text?

As long as a line has one word of non-italicized text it counts as a line of text for Frazzled Editor.

When looking at the text for cards that care about the text, do I count the edited or unedited version?

The edited version.

Gleemax

Did I read that mana cost correctly?

Yes, you did.

Does "all spells and abilities" include those of other players?

Yes.

When does the controller of Gleemax choose the target?

At the time the target would normally be chosen.

Can the owner of the spell back out once he or she has seen the target chosen by Gleemax's owner?

No, by that point it's too late to back out.

Gluetius Maximus

My opponent chooses the finger, but do I get to choose the hand?

Sorry, Charlie. Choosing the finger means choosing the exact finger. Besides, you didn't think we'd make this easy for you did you?

Goblin Mime

...?

I couldn't say.

Goblin Secret Agent

What do I do if I don't have a card?

Nothing. How do you stop a Goblin Spy from leaking? Don't let him know anything.

Goblin S.W.A.T. Team

What constitutes a swat?

A swat is an open-handed slap.

Granny's Payback

In years?

Don't mess with me, Mr. Rules Lawyer. Yes, years.

Can I use dog years?

Are you a dog?

Graphic Violence

See the Artist Matters rules above.

Greater Morphling

Can I change the artist to Pablo Picasso?

No. As with other aspects of the game that make you choose something, you may only choose legal options. This means that you are limited to people who have illustrated a _Magic_ card. You know, like me. (Blatant plug.)

Can I choose to give it no expansion symbol?

No.

Head to Head

See the Mini-game rules above.

Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil

In order to activate the ability must I have some other means of looking through my library?

Yes, Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil's ability doesn't let you look through your library. It's only triggered when another card allows you to search through your library.

Is this a special action or a static ability?

A special action.

Does Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil's ability go off before or after the effect that made me search my library in the first place?

Your choice. You just have to do it before you shuffle for the first effect.

If I have two copies of Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil in my library, can I deal 4 damage?

Yes, assuming you can pay the {2BB} cost. Remember that you need to reveal both copies of the card to all players.

Let's suppose I use an Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil to deal 2 damage to my opponent when I search through my library. Then later in my turn, I search through my library again. Can I do 2 damage with a second Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil?

Yes, but you have to reveal both copies of the Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil to show that you actually have two copies in your library.

Let's say I play a spell (such as Sensei's Diving Top from the _Champions of Kamigawa_(TM) set) that lets me look at the top few cards of my library. If one of those cards is Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil, can I trigger its ability?

No, "search" is a very specific game term. In short, if the card in question doesn't tell you you're searching, you ain't searching.

Johnny, Combo Player

Do I need to reveal the card to my opponent(s)?

No, you don't.

Keeper of the Sacred Word

When playing Keeper of the Sacred Word, how do you treat homophones (words that sound alike but are spelled differently -- such as wait and weight) homographs (words that are spelled the same but sound differently -- such as read and read) and homonyms (words that are spelled and sound alike but have different meetings -- such as counter and counter)?

The reason I'm answering this again (I answered it during the Gotcha rules section if you weren't paying attention) is that there's a different answer for this card. For the gotcha cards, you're matching a written word. For Keeper of the Sacred Mind (and Censorship from the _Unglued_ set) you are responding to a verbal word. For these cards, you are responding to a sound more than a combination of letters. For example, if you chose the word "I", you are really choosing any word that sounds like the word "I." And yes, that includes "eye."

So let's see how this works out.

Homophones -- You have an Evil Eye of Orms-by-Gore in your graveyard. Your opponent says "I attack." You say "Gotcha!" ("I" is a homophone of "eye".) GOOD. Any word that has the chosen sound counts.

Homographs -- You have a Contract from Below in your graveyard. Your opponent says, "Because you're playing banned cards in your deck, I hope you contract an annoying but non-deadly disease." You say "Gotcha!" (Contract is a homograph of contract.) NO GOOD. The spoken word must sound exactly like the chosen sound.

Homonyms -- You have a Flash Counter in your graveyard. Your opponent says "I'll put a counter on my Triskelion." You say "Gotcha!" (Counter is a homonym of counter.) GOOD. Any definition of the word spelled the same way is legal as long as it sounds the same.

If my opponent says the chosen word twice, does Keeper of the Sacred Word get +6/+6?

Yes.

Kill! Destroy!

See the Gotcha rules above.

Ladies' Knight

I have a T-shirt that both my girlfriend and I wear. Does that count as women's clothing?

No. For the purpose of this card, the clothing has to be designed specifically to be worn by women (and only women).

If I have on two items of women's clothes, are my spells {2} cheaper?

No, this ability isn't cumulative.

Does jewelry count as clothing?

No. Why? Because jewelry isn't clothing.

What if my women's clothing isn't visible?

In order to use the ability, you must demonstrate that you are in fact wearing a piece of women's clothing. Remember, local decency laws do apply.

Land Aid '04

Can I hum?

I don't know. Can you? I assume so. Humming isn't that hard. Oh, I see, are you allowed to hum when the card tells you to sing? Or in other words, can you just ignore what the card tells you as long as you do something kinda close? Uh . . . no.

Laughing Hyena

See the Gotcha rules above.

Does chuckling count as laughing?

Yes.

Giggling?

Yes.

Guffawing?

Yes.

Snickering?

No.

Why not snickering?

Okay, yes.

How about chortling?

Okay, let's cut to the chase. Chuckling, giggling, guffawing, snickering, chortling, tittering, shrieking, cackling, s****ing, snorting, roaring, crowing, howling, cachinnating, screaming, whooping, convulsing, and "yuk-ing it up" all count.

Letter Bomb

If Letter Bomb is already signed by me, must I sign it again?

Not if you don't want to. As long as you've signed the card, it counts as being signed.

But if you take a strict reading of the template...

Yeah, yeah, the template isn't ideal. The spirit of the card is that it needs to be signed, so I'm telling you that you don't have to sign it again if it's already signed (unless, you know, you want to). If anyone bugs you about this -- another player, a judge, etc. -- just show them this and say, "See? Rosewater says it's okay. Stop harassing me."

What happens if you and your opponent are playing different sleeves?

If at all possible, you should make Letter Bomb look the same. For example, try to borrow one of your opponent's card sleeves to put the card in.

Does the other player get to keep Letter Bomb since you put it in their deck?

No. Once the card is revealed or the game ends, the card goes back to its owner's graveyard.

Little Girl

See the Fraction rules above.

Look At Me, I'm R&D

What numbers are changed by Look at Me, I'm R&D?

All numbers. Every one. Mana cost, numbers in rules text, power, toughness, collector number, date of the legal text (although only for game purposes and not legal ones) -- all of them are changed.

Can I choose a number with a fraction?

It's a number, so I'm going with yes.

Can I turn 0 into -1 or 1/2 into -1/2?

Yes, you can. Be aware that the _Magic_ rules, with the exception of mathematical functions, treat values less than 0 as 0. That means that a Giant Growth turns a -1/1 creature into a 2/4 but that preventing the next -1 damage is the same as preventing 0.

What happens if you set 2 to 1 and 1 to 2?

You create an infinite loop that forces the game to end in a draw.

If I change 1 to 2, do all {1/2}s become {2/2}s (also known as 1)?

No. You have to treat {1/2} as its own number. You can change {1/2} to 1{1/2}, for example, but you can't change the numerator or denominator of fractions.

Does Look At Me, I'm R&D affect cards in the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone?

Is it "in any zone?" Yes it is.

Where's the trademark Maro drawing?

The art department wasn't willing to meet my normal fee.

Loose Lips

Can I make my opponent say obscene things?

You can't make your opponent say anything that would be considered inappropriate for the venue where you are playing. Basically, you can probably get away with a lot more in your basement than at a tournament.

Are hyphenated words considered one word?

This FAQ(TIWDAWCC) is doubling as an English primer. Yes, hyphenated words are one word.

Does the sentence have to make any sense?

No.

Does the phrase "sentence" imply that there needs to be a noun and verb?

Not for play purposes. If you want your opponent to say "Booga! Booga! Booga! Booga!", more power to you.

Magical Hacker

If I activate the Magical Hacker twice (targeting the same spell or permanent), what happens?

For all intents and purposes, nothing. Strictly speaking, the pluses and minuses change places and then change back.

Man of Measure

What happens if you and your opponent are the same height?

Man of Measure gets no bonus. Each bonus only happens if you are taller or shorter.

Is that Napoleon?

Yes.

How do we measure who's taller?

If it's not obvious, back to back with all footwear off.

Mana Flair

Can I have four Mana Flairs and four Mana Flares in the same deck?

Yes, the two cards have unique names, although they are homophones (see the "Gotcha" section above if that term isn't familiar), and as such don't count against one another.

Mana Screw

Wouldn't the _Magic_ game be better off without this card?

I don't believe so. This card is a fundamental part of the game.

Meddling Kids

Does the Meddling Kids's effect care about flavor text?

Yes. If the chosen word is in the card's flavor text, the Meddling Kids's effect will stop it from being played.

Mise

Do I have to specifically name the card or can I just describe what it does?

If you want to Mise, you have to know the name of the card you need.

Moniker Mage

What if I lie about my middle name?

The answer is a similar one to "What if I draw extra cards when my opponent isn't looking?" or "What if I blackmail my opponent into not blocking using tawdry photos?" The only difference is that this type of cheating is a little harder to catch. Please remember, however, that opponents might talk to one another.

Does my opponent have to tell me their middle name?

Something that personal? Of course not.

If I guess my opponent's middle name, does my opponent have to tell me if I'm correct or not?

Your opponent must inform you whether or not the ability triggers. So yes, that means Moniker Mage has a little subgame called "Guess My Opponent's Middle Name."

What if I have multiple middle names?

Any one of these names may be used to trigger the ability. Remember that this works both ways.

What if I don't have a middle name?

Then you can't activate it to give it untargetability and your opponent can never activate a Moniker Mage they control to give it flying.

Monkey Monkey Monkey

Do articles (A, An & The) count for purposes of punctuation?

No. The Fallen Apart is considered to start with F.

Is {(r)} a letter?

Not for the purposes of this card. Count {(r)} as Ae.

Mons's Goblin Waiters

See the Fractions rules above.

This card makes half a red mana, correct?

Correct. Goblins do everything half-, um, half-donkeyed.

What happens if I don't spend half a red mana?

You burn for 1/2. Duh.

Mother of Goons

Who decides if my comments count as an insult?

This falls under the "Spirit of the Game" rule. If you are honestly trying to insult the creature, you don't need to sacrifice Mother of Goons.

Mouth to Mouth

See the Mini-game rules above.

When do I target the creature?

When the spell is first played before the breath-holding mini-game has begun.

Mox Lotus

What's with the sideways eight?

That's not an eight, it's the symbol for infinity. If you are unfamiliar with the concept of infinity ask the nearest math teacher to explain it to you.

I've tapped the Mox Lotus to put infinite mana in my pool. My opponent then Naturalizes it. Can I activate it infinite times to avoid infinite mana burn?

No. Infinity minus infinity is still infinity. Stupid infinity.

Doesn't the _Magic_ game have a rule against infinity?

Sssh! Don't tell the Rules Manager. To sleep at night, he avoids looking at any _Un_ set.

My First Tome

Can I use a card that doesn't have flavor text? ("The flavor text is nothing. What card is it?")

No. In order to use a card, it must have flavor text.

How close does my opponent have to get?

Your opponent must know the name of the card. "That blue card that has text that's so confusing that I don't understand what it does" doesn't count.

There is an _Unglued_ card (Denied!) and an _Unhinged_ card (Flacify) that have the same flavor text. What do I do if my opponent reads off that flavor text?

Based on what you've seen of your opponent's deck, guess which card you think it is. If you're correct, he or she won't get to draw a card. In short, the flavor text is just a clue to help you figure out the card. Denied! and Flacify work well with My First Tome.

Name Dropping

See the Gotcha rules above.

If my opponent says the word "of", do I get every card with the word "of", or just one?

You can use one word to get multiple cards, but you must say "Gotcha!" for each card.

If my opponent says "Gotcha!" only once but has two legal cards in his or her graveyard, which one does he or she get?

He or she gets any legal card he or she wants. But just one per "Gotcha!"

What if my opponent says a word and I have a foreign language card whose English title includes that word?

Sorry, Charlie. The spoken word must appear in the name of the card. Words in another language aren't triggered by the English equivalent.

Do words in a name that are parenthetical such as on B.F.M. (Big Furry Monster) from the _Unglued_ set trigger a gotcha under Name Dropping?

Yes, they do. "In the name" means "in the name."

Are players required to announce spells when they play them?

Players are forced to make it clear they are playing a spell when they play them. That communication doesn't need to be verbal.

Necro-Impotence

Can I pay 1/2 life to untap half a permanent?

Yes, you can. I should point out though that B.F.M (from the _Unglued_ set) and S.N.O.T. (from the _Unhinged_ set) are the only two cards in the game that can be half untapped. A S.N.O.T., by the way, can only be half untapped if it has an even number of cards.

Now I Know my ABC's

Do I get to count Now I Know My ABC's when counting letters for the win condition?

Yes.

Can I count cards in a language other than English?

Yes, but only letters from the English alphabet count. This means Japanese and Chinese cards aren't all that useful.

Do letters covered up (such as the Spanking in Rod of Spanking) count towards this win condition?

Yes, they count. Rod of Spanking's name, for example, is officially Rod of Spanking. To be nice, you will notice that we only chose to cover words in a card's name when the name showed up in that card's rules text.

What if a card is turned face down. Does its name count?

No, because an upside-down card doesn't have a name. A morphed creature, for instance, doesn't get a name until it's flipped up.

Number Crunch

See the Gotcha rules above.

If my opponent uses a homophone of a number such as "won" or "too", does this trigger the gotcha?

No. Your opponent must, in context, say a number.

Old Fogey

Help!

That's not a question. This isn't a Frequently Stated Comments.

Can you help me?

That's better. What do you need to know?

How do these abilities interact?

Let's just stick to the four that interact -- phasing, cumulative upkeep {1}, echo, and fading 3.

Turn #1 -- You play Old Fogey.

Turn #2 -- During your untap step before you untap, Old Fogey phases out.

Turn #3 -- During your untap step before you untap, Old Fogey phases in. Cumulative upkeep says, "Hey, pay {1}. You know, or sacrifice Old Fogey. Your call." (This assumes your abilities have the ability to speak -- mine do). Echo says, "Pay {GG} or sacrifice Old Fogey." And finally fading says "Take off one of my three fading counters."

Turn #4 -- During your untap step before you untap, Old Fogey phases out.

Turn #5 -- During your untap step before you untap, Old Fogey phases in. Cumulative upkeep says, "Hey, pay {2}." Echo says, "Remember me? Pay {GG} again sucker!" And fading says "Take off another fading counter. I'm down to one."

Turn #6 -- During your untap step before you untap, Old Fogey phases out.

Turn #7 -- During your untap step before you untap, Old Fogey phases in.
Cumulative upkeep says, "Hey, pay {3}." Echo says, "Yeah, yeah, I'm an
extortionist. Sue me. Pay {GG}." " And fading says "Take off my last fading
counter."

Turn #8 -- During your untap step before you untap, Old Fogey phases out.

Turn #9 -- During your untap step before you untap, Old Fogey phases in.
Cumulative upkeep says, "Hey, pay {4}." Fading then chimes in and says, "You know, I'm going to make you sacrifice Old Fogey. Do you really want to pay {4}?" Then cumulative upkeep says, "Maybe I will. What are you going to do about it?" And then echo says, "Guys, can't we just all get along? Can't we all just get along? Get along? Along?" A fight then ensues which ends with Old
Fogey's death.

Orcish Paratroopers

What does "turning over completely" mean?

It means that the card has rotated 360 degrees along the vertical axis. This means the back of the card will rotate between facing the ground and facing the sky.

Can my opponent interfere with the card as it falls, blowing on it, etc.?

No.

What if there's a fan?

You see, this is why the DCI banned Chaos Orb and Falling Star. Here's the basic rule, your opponent can't do anything prior or during your flip to influence how it falls. Except of course using other cards (something like Farewell to Arms, for example).

Our Market Research Shows That Players Like Really Long Card Names So We Made This Card to Have the Absolute Longest Card Name Ever Elemental

What if my opponent and I disagree on how many creatures there are in a particular illustration?

If you happen to be in a tournament setting, you could call a judge, but hey the _Unhinged_ set is fun and casual. Figuring it out is part of the fun of this card. If things get really heated, just track down the artist.

What counts as art when judging an _Un_ card? For example, do I count the beebles in the text box on Bursting Beebles?

Anything illustrated is counted even if it isn't in the art box.

Does the creature have to be living to count?

What and leave out the undead? All creatures, living and dead, count.

How about pieces of creatures, such as the mandible on Monkey Monkey Monkey?

The majority of the creature has to be there (he could be missing a arm, for example) for it to count. So just a mandible? Not a creature.

Persecute Artist

See the Artist Matters rules above.

Why can't I choose Rebecca Guay?

Hasn't the poor woman been through enough?

Phyrexian Librarian

What do you mean by "balance?"

The cards should be resting on your body without being attached in any way. They may not touch anything other than your body. You may not hold them in place. And they should be put in such a way that gravity won't make them fall to the ground.

Can my opponent do anything to knock off the cards or cause me to knock off the cards?

Your opponent can't touch you or do anything specifically to knock them off. He or she can play cards that make it hard to keep the cards balanced and he or she can do indirect things, like make you laugh, that might result in the cards falling.

Can I use anything to adhere or attach the cards to my body?

Do you just skim my answers? Two questions up I just said you can't attach them in any way.

Can the cards touch?

No. The rules text specifically says, "When a balanced card falls or touches another balanced card, sacrifice Phyrexian Librarian."

What happens to the balanced cards after the Phyrexian Librarian leaves play?

They are put into the graveyard.

Pointy Finger of Doom

What does "spin" mean?

You must make the card rotate at least 360 degrees on the horizontal axis. This means the card back will always face the playing surface.

What does "closest permanent the finger points to" mean exactly?

Think of it this way. Imagine that you took a string and made it run from the tip of the finger to off the table. Destroy the first permanent the string would touch. If no object is touched by the string, destroy the object that would lie closest to the string. If two objects are equidistant from the string, destroy the object physically closest to the finger itself.

Can this card destroy itself? (It's very close.)

No.

Can players move their cards while the Finger is spinning?

No. Once you start spinning the Finger, no cards can be moved until the Finger stops.

Punctuate

What happens if there's an odd number of punctuation marks?

Unhinged can handle fractional damage. If the creature has seven punctuation marks, Punctuate would deal 3{1/2} damage.

Can I include punctuation marks not included in the reminder text?

Nope.

Does Punctuate count flavor text?

Yep. Rules text too.

Do I count punctuation that's covered up by overlapping art?

Yes. It's still considered to be in the text box.

Pygmy Giant

Does Pygmy Giant count flavor text?

Yes. That's why you owe Bucky a big thank you.

So you can sacrifice the Pygmy Giant to itself to deal 487 damage to target creature?

Yep. Like I said, Bucky's the man.

Do both numerals and words, such as 1 and "one", count?

Yes.

Wizards.Com Boards Net Rep

DCI Level 2 Judge

Questions don't have to make sense, but answers do.

Question Elemental

If I say a non-question sentence, how long does my opponent have to point this out?

The card just says the "first person to point it out", so they have until the game ends. Just remember that if you point it out, you gain control of the Question Elemental.

Rare-B-Gone

I have two Hurr Jackals in play, one common _Arabian Nights_(R) version and one rare _Fourth Edition_ version. My opponent plays Rare-B-Gone. What happens?

Only the rare _Fourth Edition_ version is destroyed. A card only cares about its specific printing.

How do I treat sets, like _Arabian Nights_ or _Antiquities_(R), that don't have a rare sheet?

For purposes of rarity, all U1s (cards that appear once on the uncommon sheet) are considered rare.

R&D Secret Lair

What happens if a card is unplayable as written? For example, how can I play an interrupt if the game no longer has interrupts?

There's only so far a FAQ(TIWDAQWCC) can go. You're on your own for this card. Note that this card doesn't change the rules of the _Magic_ game. If a card doesn't work, it doesn't work. Sorry interrupts.

Do the cards really have addictive ink?

Um, no comment.

Red-Hot Hottie

Does a creature with a third-degree burn have to yell at the end of every turn or at the end of each of its controller's turns?

The creature's on bloody fire. I'd sure scream every turn.

If two Red-Hot Hotties damage one another, do they get third-degree burn counters?

This one doesn't logically make sense, but yeah, they do.

How loud is "at the top of your lungs?"

Pretty loud. You don't need to hurt yourself though.

Remodel

See the Artist Matters rules above.

Richard Garfield, Ph.D.

How does this card work?

Richard essentially makes you play a variant of the _Magic_ game called "Mental _Magic_." Here's how the game works. While you're playing (when Richard is in play), whenever you play a spell, you reveal the card to all players and name any other spell (see below for the cards that you can use) that has that card's mana cost. (Note that color very much does matter.) That spell can then be played as the named spell. You aren't allowed to name the same card twice.

Let me walk you through an example. You have the card Healing Salve in your hand. (Why are you playing Healing Salve? I have no idea.) You reveal the card and name any spell that costs {W} -- Savannah Lions, Isamaru, Hound of Konda, Mother of Runes, Land Tax, Spirit Link, Erase, Swords to Plowshares, Enlightened Tutor, Tithe, Purelace, etc. That spell is played as if it's the chosen spell. Let's say you choose Land Tax. You have a second Healing Salve in your hand. (Well, if you're going to run it, why stop at one?) You do the same thing except you are no longer allowed to choose Land Tax.

What cards may I use with Richard's ability?

Here's how it works. Richard's ability can be used to make any card legal in the format you're playing. So if, for example, you're playing Extended with _Un_ cards, you may use Richard's ability to make any Extended-legal or silver-bordered card. If you're playing with all cards legal (for example, the Vintage format with _Un_ cards), then Black Lotus and Ancestral Recall are legal choices. This also means that in limited, Richard can make any card available in that card pool. Be aware that your playgroup can choose to override this limitation if it chooses.

Let's say I play a Brainstorm as an Ancestral Recall using Richard's ability. Then I draw Ancestral Recall. Can I play it as Ancestral Recall by not using Richard's ability?

You may play it as an Ancestral Recall since the ability is optional (see the word "may"?).

Let's say I have Richard in play and I draw a second Richard. Can I play the second one, as say a Morphling, or will the "legend rule" destroy both copies?

Have no fear. Richard's ability turns the card into a Morphling before the game checks state-based effects.

If both my opponent and I have a Richard in play, and I've already chosen to play a card that costs {U} as an Ancestral Recall, can my opponent choose to play another card that costs {U} as Ancestral Recall?

For starters, the two of you are cheating since Richard is a legendary creature. But let's assume hypothetically that if you could come up with a way to make this happen, then Richard limits only its controller. This means that, yes, your opponent could play an Ancestral Recall even if you've already played one. Your opponent is only limited by whether or not he or she played it.

Rocket-Powered Turbo Slug

Can I play Rocket-Powered Turbo Slug normally? And if so, must I pay its cost during the next turn?

Yes, you may choose to not invoke the "super haste" ability and play this card normally. And if you do, you aren't responsible for paying its mana cost again.

If I play this card normally, can I attack with it the turn I play it?

No. The card doesn't have haste. If you don't use the ability, you can't attack the turn you play the card. Why? Because you haven't activated the rockets silly.

Can things that affect creatures with haste affect this creature?

No. Rocket-Powered Turbo Slug doesn't have haste. It does have rockets though and isn't that cooler than haste?

Rod of Spanking

See the Spanking rules above.

Saute

See the Fractions rules above.

Save Life

See the Gotcha rules above.

Shoe Tree

Assuming I bring extra shoes, how many shoe counters am I allowed to use?

You may use as many shoe counters as you have shoes. But remember they must be your shoes.

Can I borrow other people's shoes?

No. They must be your shoes.

Can I use a card shoe? Or a horseshoe? Or the comic strip "Shoe?"

Any shoe is acceptable. Well, as long as you own it because it has to be "yours."

So, whose shoes do they have to be?

The _Unhinged_ set already has a Smart Ass.

What counts as a shoe? Sandals? Slippers? Socks?

A "shoe," according to Merriam-Webster's College Dictionary, is "an outer covering for the human foot typically having a thick or stiff sole with an attached heel and an upper part of lighter material." In English, just about anything that goes on your foot that isn't a sock or isn't sock-like is a shoe.

Side to Side

See the Mini-game rules above.

Six-y Beast

Should I just choose six?

Yes.

Can I choose a fractional number of tokens such as four and a half?

There's no such thing as a fractional counter. Half a normal-sized counter is merely a smaller counter. So no, you can only choose whole numbers.

Smart Ass

My opponent attacks with Smart Ass and names a card. If I have the named card in my hand, must I show it?

No, you don't have to, but then the Smart Ass will be unblockable.

S.N.O.T.

The example on the card only explains what happens with up to four cards. Assuming I get a fifth one in play (let's say I use a Clone), is it a 25/25?

Yes. The example merely stopped at four for space reasons. (We didn't have space to include examples for all natural numbers.)

Are two S.N.O.T.s stuck together considered one creature or two?

One.

Can I attach a S.N.O.T to a creature other than a S.N.O.T.?

Ooh, gross. Uh, no.

When I play a S.N.O.T. do I have to attach it to an existing S.N.O.T.?

Inquisitive player, the word "may." "May", the inquisitive player.

If one part of S.N.O.T. has summoning sickness does the entire creature have summoning sickness?

The opposite is actually true. As long as any part of S.N.O.T. doesn't have summoning sickness, the creature is allowed to attack.

So what does S.N.O.T. stand for?

That's a very good question.

Spatula of the Ages

What's this card doing here? It isn't even in the _Unhinged_ set.

I'm aware of that, but since the _Un_ sets break the rules, why can't we include cards from other sets in our FAQ(TIWDAWCC)?

Can I use Spatula of the Ages to put _Unhinged_ cards into play?

As written? No. That's why we've made errata for it. Here is how the card now reads:

Spatula of the Ages

{4}

Artifact

{4}, {T}, Sacrifice Spatula of the Ages: Put a silver-bordered artifact, creature, enchantment, or land from your hand into play.

Note that the card no longer allows you to put instants or sorceries into play. And they no longer work on ... well why ruin the next question.

Can I use the Spatula to play _Unglued_ and/or _Unhinged_ basic lands?

I'd like to say RTFC, but you don't really read border color. So, LATFB.

Didn't the old wording of Spatula of the Ages let me play _Unglued_ basic lands?

Yes, it did. Ah, errata. It giveth and it taketh away.

Spell Counter

See the Gotcha rules above.

Standing Army

Once I attack, can I sit down?

In order to keep Standing Army from tapping when attacking, you need to be standing (thus granting the Army vigilance) until you're done declaring attackers. Once that's over with, feel free to rest your legs. Well, until next turn.

What if I forget to stand up before declaring attackers. Can I stand up while announcing attackers?

Sure, what do you think we are, a bunch of rules lawyers? Just be standing when you announce Standing Army as an attacker.

Staying Power

I Giant Growth my Little Girl. Two turns later, during my main phase, Staying Power is destroyed by Naturalize. What happens?

During the cleanup step of every turn, all "until end of turn" and "this turn" effects (that is any effect with one of the two previous phrases in their rules text) check to see if they go away and are informed by Staying Power that they don't. During the cleanup step of the turn Staying Power is destroyed, the effects will check and find out that, yes, they should end.

What happens if later in my main phase (before the cleanup step) I play a second Staying Power to replace the one that was destroyed?

As long as there is a Staying Power in play during the cleanup step (any Staying Power -- most permanents in the _Magic_ game lack any kind of loyalty), the "until end of turn" and "this turn" effects will continue on.

Does Staying Power keep damage from getting cleared during the cleanup step? You know, because damage lasts "until end of turn."

Because this is a kindler, gentler FAQ(TIWDAWCC), I'll answer your question instead of mocking you. No, it doesn't. Damage, while kind of working like "until end of turn," doesn't have that text. Or even rules text. Or a text box for that matter.

Stone-Cold Basilisk

Does this card actually do what it says it does?

Yes, believe it or not, we have a policy that _Magic_ cards have to do what they say. Just read the rules text carefully.

Stop That

See the Gotcha rules above.

So what exactly constitutes a flick?

Oh no rules lawyer boy, I'm not playing your game. To kind of quote a Supreme Court judge, "I know flicking when I hear it."

Supersize

See the Fractions rules above.

Symbol Status

How do I treat a permanent that's been in multiple expansions?

A card counts the expansion symbol that's on it.

What if doesn't have one?

Then it doesn't count now, does it?

There are symbols that come from things that aren't expansions (the pen from the book cards, the arena logo from the Arena_(TM) League cards, etc.) Are those still considered expansion symbols?

Yes, they are.

Why?

The _Magic_ game is filled with things that don't make sense. You can Remove Soul a Soulless One. You can put a pair of boots on a Sea Serpent. A bird can be pictured in mid-flight and not have flying. This is the least of your worries.

Tainted Monkey

If I choose a word, do I get every word that sounds like it (from what I've learned earlier in this FAQ, that's called a homophone)?

No, whenever a card deals with the written word, it wants a specific word. So when you pick a word, you must specify which spelling you mean if the word has a homophone.

If the word appears twice in the text box, does my opponent lose 6 life?

No, only 3. If the word appears one or more times, Tainted Monkey just makes your opponent lose 3 life.

Does flavor text count?

Yes, flavor text counts as words in the text box.

Time Machine

What does "next game" mean?

This question has two answers. The wild and wacky casual answer. And the wild and wacky tournament answer. For the former, "next game" means the next game you play with that player. Whenever that is. Five years from now. Ten years from now. The Time Machine will be waiting. In tournament play, "next game" only counts subsequent games in the same match. This card follows the same rules as the Double cards (Double Cross, Double Deal, Double Dip, Double Play, and Double Take) from the _Unglued_ set.

If I'm playing in a tournament and I use Time Machine in the last game of a match, and then I meet my opponent in the top 8, does my Time Machine come into play during our first game? (In short, does my next official game against my opponent in the same tournament count?)

No, unless the tournament organizer says otherwise at the beginning of the tournament.

If I use the Time Machine, isn't my deck illegal at the start of the next game?

No. The _Un_ sets have a special tournament rule that says that decks are still legal if some card causes cards to be destroyed or removed.

What is that object in the lower-right corner?

A flux capacitor. Duh!

Togglodyte

Does any spell turn Togglodyte on/off?

Yes. It doesn't matter whose spell it is.

I declare my Togglodyte as an attacker. In response, my opponent plays a spell. What happens?

The Togglodyte still attacks since it was already declared before the spell, but it doesn't deal any damage. If another spell is played before damage resolves, the Togglodyte will turn on and deal its damage.

Topsy Turvy

Are the steps within the phase (for example, the beginning phase's untap, upkeep, and draw steps) reversed as well?

No. The beginning phase will come last, but untap, upkeep, and draw will happen in the normal order.

If I have two Topsy Turvys in play, what happens?

You know how they say, "two wrongs don't make a right." Liars! The second Topsy Turvy will essentially undo the first one.

Touch and Go

See the Gotcha rules above.

So if I pick my nose do I really lose a land?

Yes. See, your mom was right. You shouldn't pick your nose in public.

Toy Boat

How quick is "quickly?"

Isn't that like asking how tall is "tall?" You should speak faster than normal speech.

Uktabi Kong

Can I tap the Apes I make to make more Apes?

Yes. For example, four Apes can make two more Apes that can make a seventh Ape.

Urza's Hot Tub

Can the word be hyphenated?

Only if the word in the second card is also hyphenated. You may not, for instance, discard Golem-Skin Gauntlets to get a Steel Golem.

What's with the web address in the flavor text?

There's a web address in the flavor text? Oh yeah, you're right.

Vile Bile

What exactly is the text? I'm having trouble reading it.

"Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches Vile Bile, that player loses 2 life."

Can I touch Vile Bile against my opponent's skin and make them lose 2 life?

No, you may not. The rules don't allow you to touch other players without their permission. Okay, it's not actually the rules, it's the law. Remember, Assault & Battery is a split card, not an _Unhinged_ activity.

Once I touch it and lose 2 life, how long can I hold on to it before losing more life?

You only lose 2 life once per touch. Once you've touched it, you can hold it as long as you like. But if you ever let go of it, the next touch costs 2 more life.

Can I touch the Vile Bile with another object (a pen or a shirt sleeve) and not lose 2 life?

Yes. Only touch by bare skin or fingernails cause life loss.

If Vile Bile is in a card sleeve, do I lose 2 life if I touch the card sleeve?

Yes, for purposes of Vile Bile, a card sleeve surrounding it is treated just like the Vile Bile card itself.

Once Vile Bile is destroyed, can I touch it without harm to put it into the graveyard?

No. Vile Bile's ability works until it is out of play. This means its ability still works until it's put into another zone. While you're moving it to that zone (be it the graveyard, your hand, the library or one of the various "out-of-game" zones), Vile Bile's ability is still very much active.

Water Gun Balloon Game

What happens if there are more than two players playing? Where do the extra players keep track of spells played?

If you have three or more players, the extra players should use pencil and paper to keep track.

Is pink now a color in the _Magic_ game?

It is in Silver-Bordered World. Along with brown and hazel.

Wet Willie of the Damned

See the Fractions rules above.

When Fluffy Bunnies Attack

Can I only choose an English letter?

No. Feel free to choose any letter you want. This might be handy if your opponent is playing with non-English cards.

Who/What/When/Where/Why

Does this work the way I think it works?

Yes. It works just like every other card of its kind.

Wordmail

Are hyphenated words one word or two?

Weren't you paying attention during Bosom Buddies? One.

World-Bottling Kit

What happens to a card with no expansion symbol (it's from an older set or misprinted)?

It's unaffected. Only cards with expansion symbols are affected.

So a reprinted card from the core set that's in play isn't destroyed even if a card with the same name as it and with the chosen expansion symbol is in play?

Correct. World-Bottling Kit only cares about the expansion symbol (or lack thereof) on the actual card in play.

Working Stiff

Can my opponent force me to bend my arms?

Physically? No. By taunting you mercilessly? Sure.

Yet Another ther Vortex

Could you explain what this card does in normal English (as opposed to _Magic_-ese)?

Sure. This card is an enchantment that forces all players to reveal the top card of their library. Like Field of Dreams from the _Legends_(R) set. With me so far? Hold your hats because this is where we discover why this card is sitting in an _Un_ set. Those cards (assuming they are permanents) are considered in play.

Say what?

Wait it gets more confusing. Those cards are in play and are still on top of your library.

What does that mean?

I assume you understand what in play means. These cards are treated like any other permanent in play. Also, these cards are treated like any card that is revealed from the top of the library. The tricky thing is that they count (and are treated) as both.

Doesn't this create weird situations?

Yes indeed it does. Welcome to the _Unhinged_ set.

Does a revealed card (defined as the state by which a card appears in play as the card above it has been drawn) trigger "comes into play" effects?

No, it doesn't.

Does a revealed card trigger "leaves play" effects?

Yes, it does.

Why does it trigger the second and not the first?

For the same reason that phasing works similarly. Because the rules guys tell me it does. For the ****-retentive of those out there, the card doesn't actually "come" into play and thus doesn't trigger "comes into play" effects.

When I draw a Vortex-ed card, is it considered "leaving play?"

Yes it is.

What happens when a creature enchantment is revealed?

It's a permanent so it's considered in play. But as soon as this happens, the game sacrifices it because it isn't enchanting anything. The card underneath it is then turned face up.

If I draw two cards, does everyone see the second top card of my deck?

Yes. Here's how it works. You draw the first card. The second card is turned face up. At this point nothing can be done until the effect resolves. Next you draw the second card and the third card is turned face up.

Can I tap a card on top of my library?

Yes. Somehow the _Magic_ rules have never forbidden cards in the library from being tapped. Suckers!

Zombie Fanboy

See the Artist Matters rules above.

Zzzyxas's Abyss

If there are two permanents with the same name that are the first alphabetical nonland permanents in play, how many are destroyed?

Both of them. Zzzyxas's Abyss destroys all permanents with a single card name.

Wizards.Com Boards Net Rep

DCI Level 2 Judge

Questions don't have to make sense, but answers do.