Ye Olde D&D Limerick Thread Update: 4e

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Once relegated to a Previous Edition
I humbly take on this noble mission
To bring a beloved thread
While dying, not yet dead
To our forum's most current rendition.

If ye be seekin' some inspiration
And be held by writer's frustration
I've left a link on "Previous"
To some verse quite devious
That may prove to be your salvation.

Five lines is what you will need
To make rhymes about D&D
And provide a start
For those who've the heart
With your last line the next will lead.

This is meant to be a fun thread for all
So please be courteous and not appall
With words with no rhyme
For the next bloke in line
So the thread doesn't bog down and stall.

*For those less limerick inclined, this is meant to be a more visible version of a thread in the Previous Edition General forum. It's not a replacement, but rather a 4e General continuation. Please keep your D&D limericks polite and "in-character". Craft your limerick using the line left by the previous poster - and be sure to leave the next participant a place to start, too! I think you'll find this quite fun to participate in or even just to read. That said, I need your help to get this going.

The next limerick will start with this line:

The Infernal Warlock blasted his foe ...

Need help finding a rhyme? Give this a look.
Resident Prophet of the OTTer.

Section Six Soldier

Front Door of the House of Trolls

[b]If you're terribly afraid of your character dying, it may be best if you roleplayed something other than an adventurer.[/b]

Once relegated to a Previous Edition

The Infernal Warlock blasted his foe ...

With searing fire from head to toe...


Took the easy way out, but hey it's early in the morning and something needs to start things rolling...
With searing fire from head to toe...


Took the easy way out, but hey it's early in the morning and something needs to start things rolling...

:embarrass My bad! You're meant to write a whole limerick based off of that starting line! I probably should've explained that ... ugh.
Resident Prophet of the OTTer.

Section Six Soldier

Front Door of the House of Trolls

[b]If you're terribly afraid of your character dying, it may be best if you roleplayed something other than an adventurer.[/b]

The Infernal Warlock blasted his foe

With a bolt he felt down to his toe
He then turned to run
But son of a gun!
A Barbarian made him no mo'

Always a fan of limerick and haiku. How about this one in honor of my current character.


There once was a Dragonborn Rogue
There once was a Dragonborn Rogue
Who wore armor that was in vogue
He had stolen it from
Neither noble nor bum
But from a hiding place under the stove.

Rogue is a tough one!

NEXT: In dark night the candle went out ...
Resident Prophet of the OTTer.

Section Six Soldier

Front Door of the House of Trolls

[b]If you're terribly afraid of your character dying, it may be best if you roleplayed something other than an adventurer.[/b]

:embarrass My bad! You're meant to write a whole limerick based off of that starting line! I probably should've explained that ... ugh.

Hah...maybe I should have clicked on that previous edition link...

Also...do you have any idea how hard it is to ryhme rogue?

There once was a Dragonborn Rogue
Who thought backstabbin' in vogue
But his friends soon caught on
When their wallets were gone
And made short work of that Dragonborn rogue.

EDIT: Argh!
Might as well go again...

In dark night the candle went out
Leaving the party somewhat in doubt
if the dark shape was a drow
or merely a cow
Just in case they loosed fireballs about


Drawn steel and a sharp battle cry...
Drawn steel and a sharp battle cry
The warlord's command shrill and high
The fighter just shrugged
And immediately plugged
A minion instead in the eye.

Next:
The warlock that wished on a star…
The warlock that wished on a star,
Met Dead Cthulhu next morn' at a bar.
They were quick to act
And drew up a pact
Not unlike a lease to a car.

The flayer was under the bed...
smallbanner.jpg
The flayer was under the bed
Waiting to suck brains out of heads
He was surely amazed
To hear shouts of "Flaya Flav"
As the shouters stabbed him quite dead.

NEXT: The zombies shambled on with a groan ...
Resident Prophet of the OTTer.

Section Six Soldier

Front Door of the House of Trolls

[b]If you're terribly afraid of your character dying, it may be best if you roleplayed something other than an adventurer.[/b]

NEXT: The zombies shambled on with a groan ...

The Zombies shambled on with a groan
Or perhaps it was more a moan
Not that it matters
I climbed up my ladders
And watch them eat my wife Joan

The Dragon caught a cold one day.
Zombies shambled on with a groan,
"How dare you make moves for the throne!
If the old thread you cheer,
Get that old thread moved here.
Do not leave it unloved and alone."

"Thrice now has it been resurrected,
The old thread disappeared, unexpected.
Let it not go to waste,
The old thread, though misplaced.
Still exists and should not be neglected."

"With this talk of replacing, instead
Ask the admins to look at this thread
And see all that we've done
Merge the two threads in one!
And relocate them here in 4th Ed!"

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

The Dragon caught cold one fine day.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
The Dragon caught cold one fine day,
While attending a knight's soiree.
He stopped on the king's crown,
Caught the bride in her gown,
And cured it with Virgin Souffle.


The Tarrasque was growing quite vexed...
The Dragon caught cold one fine day
It seems his thread had been taken away
Fear not, noble Nytmare
For I have taken your dare
And will ask the mods to combine our forays.

EDIT: Too slow!

The Tarrasque was growing quite vexed
For his wife had quit giving him sex
She was still mad
Because he recently had
Made a pet of a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

(Sorry, I made that one fast.)

Until the requested thread merge is completed ....

NEXT: A drunken goblin and his goblet of ale ...
Resident Prophet of the OTTer.

Section Six Soldier

Front Door of the House of Trolls

[b]If you're terribly afraid of your character dying, it may be best if you roleplayed something other than an adventurer.[/b]

A drunken goblin and his goblet of ale
Bumped a paladin with porridge in pail.
The knight asked for groats
To replace spilled oats,
And the goblin said, "Check in your mail."

The ferry to High Imaskar...
The ferry to High Imaskar...

The ferry to High Imaskar
travels the river quite far
The trip makes me sad
It wouldn't be so bad
If this blasted ship had a bar


The wizard that lost his spellbook
The wizard that lost his spellbook
Found a new one that he took
Off the shelf in a store.
But what was it for?
It taught not how to cast but to cook.

Just one of my folks was an orc...
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Just one of my folks was an orc
And he was an unpopular dork
But he met my mother
And she'd have no other
Because she had a fever for pork.

(Get it? Orcs and pig noses? Huh? Orc was a tuffy!)

NEXT: The Eladrin maiden frolicked all day ...
Resident Prophet of the OTTer.

Section Six Soldier

Front Door of the House of Trolls

[b]If you're terribly afraid of your character dying, it may be best if you roleplayed something other than an adventurer.[/b]

NEXT: The Eladrin maiden frolicked all day ...

The Eladrin maiden frolicked all day.
Until she found a hair that was gray
It gave here a great fright
She cried through the night
A wail that kept all monsters at bay.


There once was a sword...
(there once was a sword doesn't qualify properly as a limerick opener)

There once was a plain old longsword
For a fighter who fought sword and board
But then he found a spiked chain
enchanted with "everything" Bane
and then reaped a merry reward.


The commoner hasn't a chance
The commoner hasn't a chance,
Of finding a beau for the dance.
So she got herself captured
And her savior enraptured
With the promise of endless romance.



The cleric was kneeling in prayer...
The commoner hasn't a chance
When fending off shambling plants
Much less against ghouls
Or aberrant chuuls
Or extraplanar Formian ants.

EDIT: Too late, go ahead and use "The cleric was kneeling in prayer."
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The cleric was kneeling in prayer,
To whichever god who lent an ear.
Who would answer his hymn
And see fit to make him
An Astral Diamond Millionaire.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
The thing about kobolds is this:
The cleric was kneeling in prayer
The hapless halfling had lost the dare
His life was now waning
The rest of the party was complaining
And still he was hanging on by a hair.

Oh boy, that's bad!

"With Dungeons and Dragons I did grow up..."
With D&D I did grow up
Refilling the Gamemaster's cup
Now I run the game
No longer so tame
My players are getting the wup'

(Not the best, I'll grant you, but how many rhymes are there for 'up'?)


"The dragon looked up from his hoard"
Chandrak's awesome solutions to the 5-minute workday 'problem'
97183719 wrote:
Seeing as there is a disconnect between balance (quantifiable) and fun, (subjective and personal) discussing fun in a thread about balance because you find one system more enjoyable than another is as helpful as discussing religion in a thread about architectural engineering because you think cathedrals look prettier than outhouses.
The dragon looked up from his hoard
And stared down the length of a sword
Held by a brave knight
Known for valor and might
Who could simply not be ignored.

The thing about kobolds is this
Their small statures you're likely to miss
Which lets them attack
Fool knights in the back
And send heroes to the abyss.


I was searching the Astral Plane...
I was searching the Astral Plane...

I was searching the Astral Plane
It was certainly quite a pain
Seemingly to never end
Sadly without friends
Until I went insane

(Not great but whatever)

An Eladrin who was quite gay...
An Eladrin who was quite gay
(All Eladrins, of course, swing that way)
Was picked on by cruel
Bullies at his school
I'm sorry, I can't finish this without getting stormed by mods, but the last word was going to be "fey," and the line was a pun on one derogatory word for homosexuals.

Next:
An Astral Diamond as big as my fist...
smallbanner.jpg
An Astral Diamond as big as my fist...

An astral diamond as big as my fist
I checked that off my list
You may call me thief
Cause I steal without grief
But you certainly won’t be missed

(I wouldn't find it offensive and I am gay.)

Next:

There once was a warlock named Bjorn
An Astral Diamond as big as my fist
Is a prize that I could not resist
Though I knew it a trap
It just fell in my lap
So I ran before it could be missed!


Ninja'd!

There once was a warlock named Bjorn
Who was cursed on the day he was born
Though his pact was a star
He didn't get far:
By an ogre in twain he was torn

NEXT: On the way to the tavern, I saw...
There once was a warlock named Bjorn
Whose implement was a black horn.
Pointing it, he laughed,
"A demon-made shaft
Kills any I wish with great scorn"

On the way to the tavern, I saw
Bjorn speaking with Regdar, a bore.
Regdar claimed to have seen
The Tarrasque's great green spleen
And made it into a hat, which he wore.


***

"Taking an airship one fine day"
Chandrak's awesome solutions to the 5-minute workday 'problem'
97183719 wrote:
Seeing as there is a disconnect between balance (quantifiable) and fun, (subjective and personal) discussing fun in a thread about balance because you find one system more enjoyable than another is as helpful as discussing religion in a thread about architectural engineering because you think cathedrals look prettier than outhouses.
Taking an airship one fine day
I walked into the ship's cafe
And spotted a dame
Who put Sune to shame
And thanked Pelor for the display.

She wanted to be entertained,
And we shared a glass of champagne.
But after we kissed
She vanished in mist
And I found myself level drained.



The warlord had noticed a rash...
The warlord had noticed a rash
It was probably from that trash
He shouldn’t tipped
When he was stripped
But she was just so brash

Next: There was a Young elf whose face...
There was a young elf whose face
caused amorous youths to give chase.
However, she offended
a bugbear, who intended,
to stove in her head with a mace.

The kobold cunningly shifted...
The kobald cunningly shifted
and the ranger became then quite mifted.
The wizard prepared
a dire spell, but he erred;
undamaged, the kobold was lifted.


With acid the jelly attacked...
With acid the jelly attacked
It ate through the satchel I'd packed,
My body started to shudder
Yet no scream could I utter
For internal organs I lacked.

Eaten alive by an ochre jelly... sigh.

Here's some tough ones to start with:
The oceans rose up with sahuagin...
or: In a dungeon I met a svirfneblin...
or even: The deep dragons' scales were purple...

But let's go with an easier one:
From within the next room came a clamor...
From within the next room came a clamor
So loud that my ears it did hammer
I thought it a fight
But grinned in delight
When I saw two Elf maidens in amor.

Smexy.

NEXT: The Fiend was a mere shift away ...
Resident Prophet of the OTTer.

Section Six Soldier

Front Door of the House of Trolls

[b]If you're terribly afraid of your character dying, it may be best if you roleplayed something other than an adventurer.[/b]

The oceans rose up with sahuagin...
And worse, to the whole crew's chagrin
The captain just took
A single quick look
And fainted before the great din.


In a dungeon I met a svirfneblin
Who greeted me with a huge grin
Rather than be a martyr
He offered to barter
And we toasted with some good gin.


The Fiend was a mere shift away
So I got down on my knees to pray
That a nice deity
Could perchance save me
From becoming a fillet.



The goblin was riding a worg...
A goblin was riding a worg
Provided by mounts dot org
[INDENT]It made her sneeze
and was covered with fleas[/INDENT]
So now the worg's in the morgue.


Having spent all of their daily's
Having spent all of their dailies,
The party foresaw they'd be failies
So they gathered their gold
And retired to Ye Olde
Mottes and associated Baileys!

There once was a Warforged from Sharn...
There once was a warforged from Sharn
who couldn't hit the broad side of a barn.
and try as he may
He tried day after day
but if he ever hit it... I'd be darned.

On the subject of dragons I've seen...

Can you hear the silence... so deafening?!?!

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