Ideas for BBEG quotes

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First off if you are in Jon G's campaign in Portland leave now this is info you aint supposed to have.

Story
I have a BBEG Rakshasa named Sylar who is slowly going insane. This insanity is basically because he has punched a whole into a dimension that touches ALL possible dimensions. This means that he has crazy knowledge about other worlds in pop culture and frequently makes references to things like Harry Potter, Stephen King, Edgar Allen Poe, The Bible and many MANY other things that we have heard of, but the pcs definetly haven't. I've added many things so far (he makes the Na-na-na-na-na sound whenever he does something physically skilled.) but am looking for some amusing things that could work well with a group of PCs who are REALLY not supposed to know what the heck he is saying.


Any ideas on this would be very useful to me.
He needs to randomly shout "Inconcievable!"

And then he needs to randomly kill a minion that says "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
At one point, he should claim to be one of the PC's father.
he should order his guards to "bust a cap in that mother $*#&#@" or maybe even refer to his cohorts as "g's" and "dogs". maybe before a fight he could say "aw, hell. you done did it now, i'ma 'bout to throw down in dis motha $*@#*&' house an' git straight crazy on dis @&$#%."
PC's Enter dungeon with said Rakshasha waiting for them.

PC: "Sylar! You will die today!"

Sylar: "...(mumbling)...90 percent chance of rain...(more mumbling)...with several low pressure systems culminating in this big bad boy right here (points at thin air)"

PC: (Laughs confusedly) "This is some kind of joke, right?"

Sylar: "IT'S JUST BEEN REVOKED!!!" (Launches into a tyrade of magical attacks)
I love all the ideas. and would love more if anyone is obliged.
Don't adjust my thinking eh? Flaw in reality? Then I'll fix it! (Uses most powerful attack right off the bat)
Whats that from AEKWN?
Albert Einstein used to say that. "Do not adjust your thinking, there is a flaw in reality."
anybody else? I could really use some more random fun quotes from pop culture.
In five minutes Uroburos will reach COMPLETE

















GLOBAL























SATURATION
Here another idea: At one point, Sylar uses some kind of spell to get an idea about the PC's strength. The following exchange happens-

Minion: Sylar, what does your spell say about their power levels?
Sylar: They're OVER NINE-THOUSAAAAAAND!!!
Minion: Nine thousand? There's no way that can be right, CAN IT?
Ok so just to be clear, nobody else has this ability, none of his minions or anything. No dialogues are possible.
You could always have him listening in on your gaming table for the lulz.
Khyber is a dark and dangerous place, full of flame and smoke, where ever stranger things lie dormant.
yeah... that comes in much later near the end of the campaign.
The Dresden Files series have some of the funniest 'magic' liners I've ever come across.

- Don't mess with a wizard when he's wizarding!
- I didn't know this before, but as it turns out, Tyrannosaurs can really haul ***.
- I’ve come to _____ to kill you, Mister _____. But I have a proposal for you that I want you to hear, first.
- I want it understood that I'm going to need thews... Big, bulging thews, and I don't want to have to think too much.
- (PC) Who are you?
(BBEG) The Great Pumpkin, I've risen from the pumpkin patch a bit early because _____ is just that nifty. And you are?
- The building is on fire and it isn't my fault.
- Paranoid? Probably. But just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face.
-
Now, you can definitely have some fun with this.

He has knowledge of all dimensions, right? Well, good. First he starts off making well known pop-culture references, quoting famous movie lines and the like, but as the Players catch on and the PCs see more and more of him, begin... changing the game a bit. First it starts off with slightly mis-quoted lines, "Do ya feel lucky... dirt bag?," and off-hand references to minor events which, while wrong, mean very little, such as a Janet Jackson molestation trial or New Coke "saving the industry." As time progresses, he begins to make reference to increasing disturbing subject material, including rambling off a detailed news report from a universe where the Cuban Missile Crisis ended with the United States losing a nuclear war with the USSR, and then the USSR subsequently conquering or subverting roughly half the globe. Perhaps, in the end, he goes pack to that portal, and comes back with a few toys. One wonders what can be done with a few loose Soviet nuclear or biological warheads...
I am a: Lawful Good Dragonborn Paladin
or something like:

"I'll be a more benevolent world ruler than Hitler!"
The Dresden Files series have some of the funniest 'magic' liners I've ever come across.

- Don't mess with a wizard when he's wizarding!
- I didn't know this before, but as it turns out, Tyrannosaurs can really haul ***.
- I’ve come to _____ to kill you, Mister _____. But I have a proposal for you that I want you to hear, first.
- I want it understood that I'm going to need thews... Big, bulging thews, and I don't want to have to think too much.
- (PC) Who are you?
(BBEG) The Great Pumpkin, I've risen from the pumpkin patch a bit early because _____ is just that nifty. And you are?
- The building is on fire and it isn't my fault.
- Paranoid? Probably. But just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face.
-

I adore these. If you have any more like this you'd be doing me a huge service.
"No mister bond, I expect you to die."
^ This needs to be said at least once.

"They be stealin' me lucky charms!"
If the PCs ever take anything away from him.

PCs:"Who are you?"
Sylar: "I'm the doctor."
PCs: "Doctor Who?"
Sylar: "Precisely."
^ Introduction, might be a little obscure to americans

"Blue scadooed we can too!"
^ could be said for teleporting away or something i don't know...
Ideas provided so far which I will definetly use:
He needs to randomly shout "Inconcievable!"

At one point, he should claim to be one of the PC's father.

Sylar: "IT'S JUST BEEN REVOKED!!!" (Launches into a tyrade of magical attacks)

- (PC) Who are you?
(BBEG) The Great Pumpkin, I've risen from the pumpkin patch a bit early because _____ is just that nifty. And you are?

- The building is on fire and it isn't my fault.

- I’ve come to _____ to kill you, Mister _____. But I have a proposal for you that I want you to hear, first.

- Don't mess with a wizard when he's wizarding!

- The building is on fire and it isn't my fault.

- Paranoid? Probably. But just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face.


PCs:"Who are you?"
Sylar: "I'm the doctor."
PCs: "Doctor Who?"
Sylar: "Precisely."

"No mister bond, I expect you to die."

"Blue scadooed we can too!"

How does this sound? It's something a friend uses for his sig and I just can't get it out of my head.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
This poem doesn't rhyme
GIVE ME YOUR FACE
The BBEG needs to obtain a gun. Preferably something like what Dirty harry totes around.

- Nothing says flattery like a gun to the head.
And the follow-up:
- If you make any noise or start to get up, I'll probably twitch, and this trigger is pretty sensitive. My gun is pointed at your nose. The ensuing cause-and-effect chain reaction could be inconvenient for you.

- If you are going to _(a bad idea)_, you might as well take a cold shower with a live cat.
(If there is some way to spring the BBEG on the party, letting him be a good guy first) - The wacky thing about those bad guys is that you can't count on them to be obvious. They forget to wax their mustaches and goatees, leave their horns at home, send their black hat to the dry cleaners.
- Here's something else I bet you didn't know about Tyrannosaurs: they don't corner well.
- I hate fair fights. In the words of a murderous Faerie Queen they’re too easy to lose.
(About hired mooks) - No force in the known universe can make a gang of folks naming their organization in Latin do much of anything on time.
- You can get more with a kind word and well-applied kinetomancy than with just a kind word.
- Torrents of flame, blasts of force, and impenetrable bastions of will were sort of my thing. You will note, however, how seldom words like torrent, blast, and bastion get used in conjunction with terms that denote delicacy and precision.
- Wizarding doesn't pay much. You'd be surprised how much stuff I get from Wal-Mart.
Also, depending on if he has minions or bosses alot of mooks around you could do with

Sylar: "Hey, you wizard...would you kindly launch a barage of fireballs into that group of people?"
Mook: "But master, our men are in combat with them?"
Sylar: "So, they might live. And if they don't, its not like its hard to replace you guys. I can go down to the local market and find fifty of you guys loitering around with nothing to do."
"Holy armored adventurers, Batman!!"
Rashasa needs to have a staff or a wand that has some kind of cool magical effect.

"This is my BOOM STICK!"
I_Roll_20s @twitter. Not always SFW. I may prefer 4e, but I will play and enjoy almost any edition, and indeed almost any table top RPG, with my friends. Down with Edition Wars. Shut up and roll your dice. :P
lol, yea just watch the army of darkness and evil dead movies...you can get TONS of quotes from those movies.

like "Shop smart, Shop S Mart" lol
Death cry:

"Help, I've fallen and I can't get up."
Why won't you... just... DIE?!?!?!

My mother stabbed me with a polearm once... Once.

When the party hits him with a weapon, have him shout, "Mother! He's hitting me againnnnn!"

If somebody tries to flank him, have him shout, "You shall not pass!"

Have him mumble to himself during combat, trying to calculate his to-hit chances and modifiers... "Plus four... plus ONE!...mustn't forget that... sixty-five percent, or seventy if he moves there..."

When a character moves into a random square, have him shout "Queen to Knight's 4! Checkmate!"

Show

I am the Magic Man.

(Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.)

 

I am the Lawnmower Man.

(I AM GOD HERE!)

 

I am the Skull God.

(Koo Koo Ka Choo)

 

There are reasons they call me Mad...

"I've got a bad feeling about this..."
"your chances of sucess is about 154,552.17 to 1. Are you sure you want to risk it?"
the first few from heroes from the awesome character sylar himself(why no one is thinking of this is beyong me):
"I wasn't begging for my life. I was offering you yours."
"Give me that damn list so I can sink my teeth in! I'm a natural progression of the species. Evolution is a part of nature and nature kills. Simple, right"
"You see me as a monster. And yet you did this to me. And before the night is over, I'm gonna prove to you - one by one - that you're all monsters - exactly like me."
"Did I tell you I got to meet my real dad? Boy, was that a disappointment. "
"When I was a kid... I used to wish some stranger would come and tell me my family wasn't really my family. Oh, they weren't bad people, they were just... insignificant. And I wanted to be different. Special. I wanted to change. A new name, a new life. The watchmaker's son... became a watchmaker. It is so... futile. And I wanted to be... important."

Venture Brothers:
"Stop wailing on my junk! just dab!"
"You mess with the girl you get the hitler!"
"Please, how stupid do I look to you? World Domination. I'll leave that to the religious nuts and the Republicans, thank you."
"Gentlemen, this is quite possibly the hottest situation most of you will be involved with. If any of you have any fears about death, any second thoughts about that beautiful new wife of yours screwing every guy you hate because you left her a widow, now is your chance to leave."
after drinking a healing potion

Healing potions - they're grrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!
I_Roll_20s @twitter. Not always SFW. I may prefer 4e, but I will play and enjoy almost any edition, and indeed almost any table top RPG, with my friends. Down with Edition Wars. Shut up and roll your dice. :P
pointing to the halfling henchman with the repeating crossbow - "say hello to my little friend"

another minion dies "OMG! They killed Kenny! B*st*rds!"
The PC's walk in on him playing with his toys:

[in Sylar voice] Now princess, at last we are alone.
[in 'princess' voice] Oh, oh I hate you I hate you I hate you leave me alone! - yet, I find you strangely attractive.

Or dinosaurs:

[As stegosaurus] Yes... Yes... This is a fertile land and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land and we will call it... This Land.
[As T-Rex] I think we should call it your grave!
[As Stegosaurus] Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!
[As T-Rex] Ha ha ha, mine is an evil laugh, now die!
[As Stegosaurus] Ahh, no God. Oh, dear god in heaven.

Possible substitutions: the princess doll is a doll of a female NPC...or worse, PC, in which case he will die immediately.

The dinos are different D&D monsters...elves and orcs, good dragons and bad dragons, etc. Of course this would all be funnier if you used mini's and acted the scene out yourself.

For other good quotes visit the Internet Movie Database and browse through the 'memorable quotes' page for any film or TV show.
It sounds like your making this villain talk like the Junkions from the 1986 Transformers movie. Oh I know, when he first encounters the pcs he could use the universal greeting from that movie, "bah-weep-graagnah wheep ni ni bong", or have him randomly say some of the lyrics from Weird Al's Dare to be Stupid, also from that movie.
"My SPOON is too BIG"
Have him repeat quotes from any of the Austin Powers movies.

If there is a Gnome or Halfling in the PC party, say "I have peices of corn in my crap that is bigger then you"

If there is a female PC, say "Do I make you horny baby, yea"

When first confronted by the pc's party, he needs to have a gnome or halfling pc named mini-me and the two need to break out into this song.

Oh, or through out the entire last battle Sylar needs to say "My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father. Prepare to die!"
Make him say beam me up scotty when he uses teleportation.

Or he grabs a PC and starts rambling

My father... was an drinker ...and a fiend.
And one night, he goes off craazziier than usual, mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend her self, he doesnt like that, Not. One. Bit.
Make him say beam me up scotty when he uses teleportation.

Or he grabs a PC and starts rambling

My father... was an drinker ...and a fiend.
And one night, he goes off craazziier than usual, mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend her self, he doesnt like that, Not. One. Bit.

Oh, I bet the DM would have to facepalm constantly if someone played a pure chaotic character that was based of Kieth Ledger's Joker...would be fun as hell though.

He would have to have alot of charisma and Maxed Intimidation to pull it off effectively. He needs to make NPC's think "wtf, ok I am just going to sit this one out" lol

In fact I can see the character now.

It would be a Drow rogue, with maxed Dex and Cha, and maxed intimidate. His mother was unusually cruel to him and disfigured his face with a dagger when he was a child. He would be Pure Chaotic alignment, and go around grabing hold of his enemy and rambling on like so

"My Mother...was a drunk...and a fiend.
And one night, she goes off CRAAAZZZIIIER then usual, daddy gets a kitchen knife to defend himself, she doesnt like that, Not. One. Bit..."

He would hold his dagger next to thier mouths while showing them his hiddeous scars that resemble a crooked grin, thanks to his mother.

I want to play him already lol
From Triumph the Insult Comic Dog:
“That’s a good idea…for me to poop on!”

When one of his minions die: “So long, and thanks for all the fish!”

From Firefly/Serenity:
“I aim to misbehave.”
“Shiny. Let’s be bad guys.”

From Spaceballs:
“Evil will always triumph over good, because good is dumb.”

From Monty Python:
The PCs could come up against the Black Knight – all sorts of good quotes there.

“When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle/dungeon/lair on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that's what you're going to see, the strongest castle/dungeon/lair in all the land.”

“Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony! You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!”

(After the PCs attack him) “Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I’m being’ repressed!”

From Pirates of the Caribbean:
“Well, yes mate. I'm dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you need to watch out for, because you never know when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid.”

(if he’s a recurring villain) “When you marooned me on that godforsaken spit of land, you forgot one very important thing, mate: I’m Captain Jack Sparrow.”

“Stop blowing holes in my ship!”

“Him? He's no one. No one. Distant cousin of my Aunt's nephew twice removed. Lovely singing voice. Eunuch.”

“Oh, well, in that case, I confess. It is my intention to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasely black guts out.”

“But why is the rum gone?!”

From Shrek:
(After letting out a terror-striking roar) “This is the part where you run away.”

“Some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”

“Wow, that was really scary, and if you don't mind me saying, if that don't work, your breath will certainly get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic-Tacs or something, 'cause your breath STINKS.”

“Our first bachelorette is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hot-tubbing any time!”

“I'll find those stairs. I'll whip their butt, too. Those stairs won't know which way they're going...take drastic steps, kick it to the curb. Don't mess wit' me. I'm the Stair Master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here, right now, I'd step all over it.”

From Jurassic Park:
“Well, I was so preoccupied with whether or not I could that I never stopped to think whether I should.”

“God help us; we’re in the hands of engineers.”

“God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs. Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth.”

From Silence of the Lambs:
“It rubs the lotion on its skin; it does this whenever it is told.”

“Who killed him? Who can say? Best thing for him, really. His therapy was going nowhere.”

“A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”

From The Shawshank Redemption:
“I believe in two things: discipline and the Bible. Here you'll receive both. Put your trust in the Lord; your ass belongs to me. Welcome to Shawshank.”

“Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane.”


From The Matrix:
“I know why you're here, Neo. I know what you've been doing... why you hardly sleep, why you live alone, and why night after night, you sit by your computer. You're looking for him. I know because I was once looking for the same thing. And when he found me, he told me I wasn't really looking for him. I was looking for an answer. It's the question that drives us, Neo. It's the question that brought you here. You know the question, just as I did. The answer is out there, Neo, and it’s looking for you, and it will find you if you want it to.”

“What are you waiting for? You're faster than this. Don't think you are, know you are. Come on. Stop trying to hit me and hit me.”

“I imagine that right now, you're feeling a bit like Alice. Hmm? Tumbling down the rabbit hole?”


From Armageddon:
“I understand that you were handicapped by a natural immaturity, and I forgive you.”

“Well, our object collision budget's a million dollars. That allows us to track about 3% of the sky, and beg'n your pardon sir, but it's a big-ass sky.”

“I don't mean to be the materialistic weasel of this group, but do you think we'll get hazard pay out of this?”

“Sir, I'm retired navy, I know all about classified. But one more thing. The person that finds her gets to name her right? I wanna name her Dottie after my wife, ‘cause she's a vicious life-sucking ***** from which there is no escape.”

“Components! American components, Russian Components, ALL MADE IN TAIWAN!”

“I just wanted to feel the power between my legs.”


And of course, from the Order of the Stick:
“Evil – a growth industry. We’re always hiring!”

“Druids do things the hard way. It encourages natural selection.”
The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science... -Einstein