warforged insults for role playing

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So, I am going to play an arrogant warforged fighter (juggernaut at some point) in an upcoming campaign, and for the sake of humor and role playing, I was hoping to come up with some good insults, such as "flesh bag", that I could just whip out once in awhile. Unfortunately I lack the creative wit to come up with these on my own, so I am asking in this forum. Any suggestions?
"Meatbag" is traditional.
"Meatbag" is traditional.

damn, beat me to it.


If you really want the "arrogant construct" feel... just play Knights of the Old Republic one and two and hang out with HK-47 a lot.
In the same vein, "Bite my shinny metal ass !" comes to mind. Good old Bender from Futurama is a rather good example of smartass construct.
HK-01, the assasin/protocol warforged will now be born.

base class will be ranger with archery spec. to keep the "flavor" of HK-47.

we need stats, feats, and a good PP.
damn, beat me to it.


If you really want the "arrogant construct" feel... just play Knights of the Old Republic one and two and hang out with HK-47 a lot.

Oh of course! Thank you for mentioning HK-47. It was awhile ago that i played KOTOR, so I had forgotten about him. He was brilliant.
There's also the "monolithic monotone" set of lines from any evil-robot-killing-machine series/parody. Flat out generalizations like "you are inferior" or "target eliminated" coupled with over the top cliches like "witness my perfection" or "resistance is futile".
That's Someone, with a capital S. "Cat's out of the bag on that one, isn't it? Who puts cats in bags, anyway? Cats hate bags." -Sheogorath, Oblivion
"resistance is futile".

Warforged: "Resistance if futile if less than one Ohm."
Human: "What's an Ohm?"
Warforged: "I does not matter" *thwack*
Fleshling, mortal, air sucker, organ bag.

You could also say that a coat rack does the job better and is more sturdy.

That they are worms with limbs.

If you prick them do they not bleed.

That the warforged can't breed because they were built right the first time.

Walking upon the dust that was the remains of their grandchildren a hundred years from now.

The fact that they can cry.

That's all off the top of my head for now.
Your mother has to wear army boots. Because her feet are made of useless meat. Therefore you are weak. So, yeah.
squishy and sausage come to mind. any use of meat or flesh will probably manage to sound degrading. if you're ever caught dealing with any large and/or carnivorous enemies you could call them bait, or dinner if you really don't like them. also draw attention to minor things, calling them hairy, or greasy even if it wouldn't be significant to another living creature. or mention how they're all just slowly dying, like it's a defect.
This is the happy swamp. Love it. I am red/blue, I think logically and act impulsively.
For the longwinded warforged who's on a mission to extract revenge:

"I was here to insult the generations that came before you, as I am here to insult you. Now if you will only stay still and die by my [sword/mace/axe/fist/whatever], the generations that would have been will not have to suffer your fate."
How about "Yo mama's so rusty her blood type is FeO!"

Or "Yo mama's so old her life time warranty expired!"
How about "Yo mama's so rusty her blood type is FeO!"

Or "Yo mama's so old her life time warranty expired!"

he means insults for his warforged to say to humans, not for humans to say to warforged.
he means insults for his warforged to say to humans, not for humans to say to warforged.

Well he's gonna need some insults for when he encounters other warforged, and who's he gonna look to then, huh? HUH!?!
Well he's gonna need some insults for when he encounters other warforged, and who's he gonna look to then, huh? HUH!?!

Johnny 5 "Your mother was a snow blower!"

And in the same vein: "Your father is nothing but a used toaster oven!"
(After an enemy hits him) "Was that supposed to hurt, meatbag? HEre, let me show you a real attack!"

(After enemy dies) "I expected as much."

(Combat Challenge) "Eyes on me, meaty!"

(Combat Superiority) "Did you just try to run from me? Fragile and a coward."
I would use words like "mammal," "ape," "primate," and "simian."

Charlton Heston: "Get your hands off me you damn, dirty ape."
Charlton Heston: "Get your hands off me you damn, dirty ape."

And then to the wizard: "You blew it up! You damn fools! You blew it up!!"
That's Someone, with a capital S. "Cat's out of the bag on that one, isn't it? Who puts cats in bags, anyway? Cats hate bags." -Sheogorath, Oblivion
This wouldnt exactly fall under the vein of insults, but a bout a year ago me and my freinds ran a warforged only game. It was a a war campaign, and we were the 41st Regiment. Our motto:

We are the 41st.
We don't eat.
We don't sleep.
We just kill.
Some quotes from the late Warforged Rauschen, the Hammer of Karnath (delivered in a poor Schwarzenegger impression):

"Stand aside, puny meat things."

"Surrender, fleshy weaklings, or face my awsome adamantine wrath!"

"I realize I cannot change my facial expression, so be aware that I am glaring at you in a menacing manner."
Some quotes from the late Warforged Rauschen, the Hammer of Karnath (delivered in a poor Schwarzenegger impression

Oh dear, I just visualized a warforged warlord along similar lines:

"Get to the choppahr!!"

"Do it nowh!!"

"Come with me if you want to live."
That's Someone, with a capital S. "Cat's out of the bag on that one, isn't it? Who puts cats in bags, anyway? Cats hate bags." -Sheogorath, Oblivion
And, of course, the venerable: "It's naht a tumah!"

Let's see ... some insults that your Warforged can use on non-Warforged? How about this one: (Said to whatever weapon a non-Warforged might be wielding) "Don't worry! I'll have you freed from this piece of meat in a few minutes!"
To a warforged: Your mother was an N-Gage. And your father was a Virtual Boy.

From a warforged: Negative. You are a meat popsicle.

"You people are so greedy. Just because the air is free does not mean you have to keep inhaling it as if your life depended on it..."

Warforged: You smell.
Dude: What!!?!?!?
Warforged: You heard me.
You. All of you. You're all nothing but worthless flesh ballons talking constantly just you can run around and slap together like a badly made meat sandwhich for thirty minutes and pop another wailing bag of gooey flesh and crunchy bones in nine months. You all make me sick. What kind of loving dieties decided that a good option for all models was having to squat and fire wet smelly brown logs once a day every day? Bloody hell, if I were the gods I would have recalled the line of you wailing meat puppets eons ago! Not that the gods are any better. They're just meat puppets who won't die and therefore won't stop wailing at me. If you'll excuse me now, I'm goind to go do something useful. Like watch the camp while you sleep.

Sweet dreams you ungrateful squishy sods!
I am a: Lawful Good Dragonborn Paladin
As previously stated, HK-47 and Bender are both good inspirations for witticisms.

For inspiration for more.... DAMN! moments, I suggest you rewatch the Terminator films.

Hasta la Vista, Meatbag.
Reality is a reference point, not a limitation.
Breather is one in the Marked for Death and Dreaming Dark trilogies that warforged use.
Since people keep suggesting HK-47, but don't give any examples, and i never played the game, I decided to check Wikiquote and post some examples for anyone else who didn't play it:

HK-47 Quotes

"Objection: I am not a problem, meatbag. You and your lack of any organized repair skills are a problem."

"Commentary: The meatbag speaks without clarity. Detail your involvement or I will splatter your organs all over the floor."

"Suggestion: Shall we find something to kill to cheer ourselves up?"

"His wife must have done something to truly upset him. I was ordered to terminate his wife, and any male companion with her."

"Retraction: Did I say that out loud? While it is true you are a meatbag, I should refrain from addressing you as such."

"I am like a delightful random cruelty generator, poisoning all I touch with my presence. I am a testament to Warforged everwhere."

"Statement: I have already learned a great deal, and I am anxious to learn more of lying, betrayal, and new ways to harm innocents."

"Clarification: It’s just that,you have all these squishy parts! And all that water! How the constant sloshing doesn’t drive you mad, I have no idea."

"Do you hear that, meatbag? I will be back!"

"I am quite eager to participate in some unadulterated violence."

"Suggestion: Electrocution works well. Evisceration and Decapitation are also effective, or um, so I've heard."

"Statement: Cheating seems to be a relevant term only when one is caught in the act. Otherwise it is viewed as intelligence, no?"

"Stupid, frail, non-compartmentalized organic meatbags!"

(In combat) "Prejudice set to maximum."

"Would you shut up! I am not a dangerous psychopath!"

"How do you live knowing about the nature of your slush innards?"

"As you say Master. Would you prefer me to call you something else? Perhaps liquidous fleshbag?"

"I suggest that we slaughter all the meatbags. But what do I know, I'm just a Machine."
Birdies!
"If it can bleed, it can die. Scared yet ?"
Since people keep suggesting HK-47, but don't give any examples, and i never played the game, I decided to check Wikiquote and post some examples for anyone else who didn't play it:

HK-47 Quotes

"Objection: I am not a problem, meatbag. You and your lack of any organized repair skills are a problem."

"Commentary: The meatbag speaks without clarity. Detail your involvement or I will splatter your organs all over the floor."

"Suggestion: Shall we find something to kill to cheer ourselves up?"

"His wife must have done something to truly upset him. I was ordered to terminate his wife, and any male companion with her."

"Retraction: Did I say that out loud? While it is true you are a meatbag, I should refrain from addressing you as such."

"I am like a delightful random cruelty generator, poisoning all I touch with my presence. I am a testament to Warforged everwhere."

"Statement: I have already learned a great deal, and I am anxious to learn more of lying, betrayal, and new ways to harm innocents."

"Clarification: It’s just that,you have all these squishy parts! And all that water! How the constant sloshing doesn’t drive you mad, I have no idea."

"Do you hear that, meatbag? I will be back!"

"I am quite eager to participate in some unadulterated violence."

"Suggestion: Electrocution works well. Evisceration and Decapitation are also effective, or um, so I've heard."

"Statement: Cheating seems to be a relevant term only when one is caught in the act. Otherwise it is viewed as intelligence, no?"

"Stupid, frail, non-compartmentalized organic meatbags!"

(In combat) "Prejudice set to maximum."

"Would you shut up! I am not a dangerous psychopath!"

"How do you live knowing about the nature of your slush innards?"

"As you say Master. Would you prefer me to call you something else? Perhaps liquidous fleshbag?"

"I suggest that we slaughter all the meatbags. But what do I know, I'm just a Machine."

ahahah... I love HK-47.

big list of quotes is here
+++Ah. Yes. Bleeding: I am unable to replicate this aspect of humanoid behavior, but I am certain that if I observe the phenomenon frequently I will develop the capacity to do so. Please assist me in this.+++

+++It fights poorly. Perhaps if I dismantle it the parts can be used to produce a more efficient model.+++

+++Your vocal processes indicate faulty processing. One of us should take them offline.+++

+++Your maternal unit created new units with the assistance of multiple part donors. It is uncertain which of them assisted in your production.+++

+++Your structure suggests different end uses than combat. Consider reassignment to food manufacture or marine ballast.+++

+++I was designed and manufactured with a purpose. Why were you created? What purpose do you serve? You are the byproduct of two obsolete units seeking pleasure. How. . . inefficient.+++
"When Friday comes, we'll all call rats fish." D&D Outsider
+++Ah. Yes. Bleeding: I am unable to replicate this aspect of humanoid behavior, but I am certain that if I observe the phenomenon frequently I will develop the capacity to do so. Please assist me in this.+++

+++It fights poorly. Perhaps if I dismantle it the parts can be used to produce a more efficient model.+++

+++Your vocal processes indicate faulty processing. One of us should take them offline.+++

+++Your maternal unit created new units with the assistance of multiple part donors. It is uncertain which of them assisted in your production.+++

+++Your structure suggests different end uses than combat. Consider reassignment to food manufacture or marine ballast.+++

+++I was designed and manufactured with a purpose. Why were you created? What purpose do you serve? You are the byproduct of two obsolete units seeking pleasure. How. . . inefficient.+++

I am Black/Green
I am Black/Green
Take The Magic Dual Colour Test - Beta today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.
I am both selfish and instinctive. I value growth and community, as long as they favour my own objectives; I enjoy nature, and I particularly enjoy watching parts of nature die. At best, I am resilient and tenacious; at worst, I'm uncontrollable and destructive.
I know my place in the universe, I knew it the moment I was forged. I have used this sword from the moment it was put in my hand, how long have you been flailing your around?

Silly fighter, plate armor is standard accessory for the 1183 model.

I can be repaired, my limbs can be replaced, can yours?

For my warforged paladin of Erathis:
I am the culmination of divine instruction.
Little Britain style: Computer says no!
"You were once shoved head first through someone's ******. Why are you active so dignified?"

Shamelessly stolen from XKCD
Aesop had it right 2,500 years ago, "By endeavoring to please everyone, he had pleased no one, and lost his ass in the bargain".