Rate my Dragonborn Warlord's background, please.

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I always feel like my character backgrounds suck, but that's probably because I'm self concious. Please let me know how you feel about mine. I made a lot of the stuff up as I was going. I had the general chain of events going on in my head, but the rest was kind of winged.

Balthasar was born in the Wrathhide Clan, of 40 or 50 members. He never
met his father, Tyrnan, as he had to go back to his home clan to help its defense before the egg had hatched. Tyrnan was the clan elder of the Stormscales and he had pressing matters of clan defense to attend to. Balthasar's mother, Jasra, raised him to follow in his father's footsteps and become a glorious battle commander. She told him stories of his father's noble conquests and exploits, and of the dragonborn race's valiant effort against the tyrrany of the chromatic dragons.

Trynan's blood truly did flow through Balthasar's veins, as he quickly honed his skill as both a ferocious fighter and a competent leader. He became captain of the Wrathhide guard at age 23. In the spring after his 28th birthday, he married a woman from his father's clan, Shekara. She bore a healthy egg in the summertime. Come early fall, however, a tragedy occured.

Balthasar was out with the rest of the guard hunting boar for the clan's winter stockpile. They had killed all they could carry back with them, and Balthasar told his comrades to carry the carcasses back while he finished one last kill. He did so, and headed back toward the clan.

As he was nearing it, he heard terrible commotion from within the village, screams of terror, furniture being destroyed, and, to his most terrifying horror, the roar of a dragon. He dropped the heavy load on his back and quickly drew his axe and readied his shield, darting out from the trees. Huts were lying burned and in ruins, fires raged in all directions, smoke billowed from almost everywhere. Through the ash, he spotted an adult red dragon causing chaos among his clanmates. The dragon's name was Rodos, and he lived high in the nearby Farpeak Mountain. Balthasar roared, raised his axe above his head while bracing his shield, and charged at the beast. His actions did not go unanswered, as Rodos turned his head and spotted Balthasar's plan. With a flick of the dragon's tail, Balthasar was sent soaring through the air fifty, one hundred, two hundred feet into the surrounding forest, landing in the tree canopy. The night passed, and the dragon soon left.

In the morning after he woke, Balthasar climbed down from the tree and ran as fast as his legs would take him to the village. It was a smoldering ruin. Corpses lie everywhere. His friends, his family, the elder... his egg! He sprinted over to his hut with a glint of hope in his eyes that the egg still might be salvaged. His slight flicker of hopefulness was shattered when he saw his wife's corpse huddle over the crushed egg, large claw marks running down her back. He bent down over egg and wept. His life had been destroyed at the hands of the tyrannical chromatic dragons, and there was nothing he could have done. A deep gash had been cut in his honor, knowing he was so powerless to defend the ones who he loved. He took a small piece of his unborn son's shell and his wife's necklace, and placed the shell on it as its pendant. The only thing to do now was to travel east to his father's clan.

He packed what supplies remained in his clan that he could carry and journied downriver 20 miles to the east. He discovered what he assumed used to be the Stormscale village, although it was deserted and empty. Small, buried campfires and piles of logs and displaced earth hinted at the past village here, and a small emblem lying on the ground confirmed his beliefs that it was his father's village.

No sign of any dragon attacks were imminent in the area, and no corpses or signs of struggle were strewn about. He decided it was acceptable to assume that his father's clan had moved to another area, possibly to avoid the threat of Rodos. Although this relieved Balthasar to know that at least his father was still alive, he still had to decide what his next move was. His mother had told him stories about the nearby city of Ajunta, where there was a group known as the Isuon Adventuring Guild. She told him that this was a place where many legends and historic heroes had been born. Since his hope for bringing honor and prosper to his clan were now gone, he decided the next best thing was to bring honor to his own name instead, through adventuring...


In social interactions, Balthasar is reserved, speaking only when he feels it is necessary or relevant. He is skeptical of others, especially strangers, and questions thier motives. His pride is quite swelled and if you even so much as give a little poke at it , he'll most likely tear off the finger with which you poked.

In decisionmaking, Balthasar is commanding and authoritative. Questioning his reasoning or logic behind a strategy or idea is a strict no-no with him, although most of the time his ideas are with good intentions, keeping the entire group in mind. He may agree to go along with whatever plan you suggested, but he will never admit he was wrong.

Appearance and Mannerisms:

Rust colored skin, short "hair" (meaning the scales on the top and back of his head), yellow eyes. Wears a necklace with a piece of eggshell on it. Frequently seen with his arms crossed and his nose held high when angered or dealing with people he feels are insubordinate or inferior.

Please let me know if I'm overreacting and my character concept is completely fine, or if my thoughts are justified and I need some work. Thanks guys. :D
Originality (is this just too cliche?): 6/10, this idea has been used before, but it's a good one.
RP Potential (how you'd act around the table): 7/10, interesting, I'll expand more in a minute
Hook (potential for personal adventures): 7.5/10, definite hook, potential for a climatic encounter, the familial ties could be further expanded as well
Entertainment (is this interesting?): 7/10

1/10 is unplayable, 5/10 is average, 10/10 is novel-worthy

What I would change: The only thing that springs to mind is that the death of his clan would have been a humiliating experience for him. He still has the intelligence and presence to command, but maybe he doubts himself a little now. He often wins and carries himself with an air of confidence and pride, but when he loses, he takes it hard (since it reminds him of his greatest failure). Add a little personal conflict in, ya know?

Overall this is a pretty interesting character. Definitely good as you have it. I'd add a little but I like it. Thumbs up.
If I were your DM I'd be very happy with your background. Solid work.
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