Okuninushi - feedback appreciated

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Hi everyone - this is my first post, but i have been lurking around on the boards for some time.

have played 1E, 2E, 3E and now starting a 4E campaign.

I just though I would post my first character concept for you all to see, and am open to feedback. So, here he is...

Background: Okuninushi (Oki) has led a fairly sheltered life on account of being raised by an elder red dragon, named Bloodaranifurishai (Bloodfury), who stole his egg at the behest of Tiamat. No one knows what Tiamat offered Bloodfury in return for stealing the egg, but it is clear Tiamat had decided Oki would serve as her Paladin and this was why she commissioned Bloodfury for the task. Bloodfury was also to train the young Oki from hatching, in the ways of service to Tiamat, including combat training. Bloodfury resented this task as she felt it beneath her and thus punished Oki any way she could – Psychologically she would torment Oki, and physically she would beat him (‘to toughen him up for service to Tiamat’) all in the name of training. When Oki first developed his breath weapon, Bloodfury’s hatred of him doubled as he could only breathe blasts of cold, the weakest of all chromatic dragons’ attacks, not the proud, wild and powerful fire attack of the greatest of dragons.

As Oki grew to maturity, he managed to survive Bloodfury’s torturous training and abuse, more than that…to turn the vicious abuse he suffered in to strength of character and body, the perfect tool for Tiamat.

When Oki was ready, Tiamat, through Bloodfury, gave him one final quest, to complete his training and forever make Oki her servant. Oki was to venture further than he ever been from Bloodfury’s lair and intercept another of his race, who Tiamat had decided that Oki would murder. Oki faithfully set out on his journey and tracked down the other Dragonborn and killed him in cold blood. At this point however Tiamat’s plan fell apart.

The Dragonborn Oki killed was another Paladin in training, for service to Bahamut. Not only this, but he was also Oki’s brother. As he lay dying, with great sadness, he told Oki that Bahamut has sent him on this quest to free his lost brother and re-unite him with his true family. Oki’s brother died without even telling Oki his name, but as he drew his last breath he told Oki that he would die happy as he had at least seen his brother with his own eyes and had seen the true strength within him. As he died Oki slipped in to a deep sleep and had a dream in which Bahamut appeared to him. Bahamut was angry with Oki for killing his brother and also for killing one of Bahamut’s soon to be holy warriors. Oki was afraid to the point of death. But the Platinum Dragon could not bring himself to destroy one of his own children, and so he told Oki that he would inherit the mantle that Bahamut had intended for Oki’s Brother. When Oki woke from this dream he had tears flowing down his face. Having never encountered mercy or forgiveness he was unaccustomed to the emotions he was experiencing, but he knew that he had been granted great mercy and blessing from Bahamut.

Oki did not know what to do at this point as he had nowhere to go, and didn’t know about how to live and survive without Bloodfury. He went back to her lair and told her that he had completed his mission, feigning triumph whilst his heart was breaking. Bloodfury response was to turn away with her usual demeanour of hatred and disappointment. Oki made up his mind in that moment. When Bloodfury slept he grabbed a handful of coins (he dare not try for any more as he knew she would wake up if he was greedy), and fled. Over the next few months he lived under Bahamut’s blessing as if the Platinum Dragon himself was guiding his footsteps and looking over him. He found his way to a temple of Bahamut and stayed a year to receive training and guidance from the priests.

Now he sets out, a full paladin of the Platinum Dragon, eager to serve Bahamut.

Physical Description: Oki is an imposing figure, over 6 feet tall and broad shouldered. Although small for his race, he carries himself with pride and dignity. As he casually strolls along the eyes of people are drawn to him naturally, like a beacon. He is natural in his movements and grounded in his demeanour. He has dark brown scales, which in certain light almost have a silver tint to them. If you get close enough to look in his eyes most people will remark that they seem to have a quality of sadness about them.

Character: Oki has a no-nonsense approach to life. He hates injustice and lives to protect the weak. He is not above intimidating the evil to ensure justice is done, but also has a gentle approach to the downtrodden or weak. Oki loves children for their innocence (having never had a childhood of his own), and will usually stop to play with or bless children as he walks along his way.
Anyone? or is it that bad
I don't think its bad at all. I think its very good in fact. Its the clasic good springing from evil intent.
I like the back story, you might flesh it out a bit with some sort of "minions" working for bloodfury partaking in the training/abuse of OKI. After all unless bloodfury was a shape changer, how would they know anything about wearing armor or swinging a sword?

These minions would make great material for injecting backstory into the campaign. In the midst of dealing with the issues of a particular adventure - a sudden ambush/attack by a band of bloodfury's thugs looking to bring Oki's head back to their master would be good.

Some particularly nasty one eyed warlock might lead them, and use his teleport/infernal powers to escape Oki's retribution each time.

If you want more feedback from other readers try including the build.
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