As Jareth polished his shield, he looked around the room. Most of the people in the room would return badly injured, or not at all. That was the way of the pits. This was one of the larger arenas, so everyone here had already survived long enough to know the risks. Most of them had nice scars to show their experience. There was a small viashino sharpening a dagger in a corner. Jareth figured that he needed to keep an eye out for that one. The only way a little creature like that would make it in the pits was to sneak around and go for people's backs. Or the knees, as would be the case if he went for Jareth. It didn't seem right that a weak rogue like that was given the same honor as honest fighters who would always choose to face their enemy. For a moment he pondered cornering the viashino as soon as they entered the pit, forcing him to an honorable fight, but he shook it out of his mind. Instead, his father's words rang through his mind. "Never be the first to strike. We have the right to defend ourselves, our loved ones, and those who cannot defend themselves. We do not have the right to attack anyone." Of course, just stepping into the pit was very close to crossing the line drawn by that statement, but Jareth had very little choice. He looked down at his stone body, and remembered the first time he saw it:
"Father, it is amazing!" The old man smiled at his son. "It will cost us most of our money, but I think it will be worth it. This statue marks this town as protected by our family. In this age of fools and madness we have to build a last outpost of freedom, peace, and civilization. This land has been under the domain of the Lionshield family for centuries, and we will not let the shadow of the Cabal scare us away from our rightful place!"
His father had always had a way with words, something that Jareth had never fully mastered. But he had studied, elocution, administration, combat, anything that a noble needed to know to rule justly. Because just rulers had become very sparse in Otaria. Of course, these days his only domain was as far as his right arm would reach, and the majority of his speeches were simple battle cries. And It seemed to be time for that again, as the gates to the arena were opening. And after all that had happened, maybe this was the closest thing he had to a home. He certainly couldn't go back, not like this. Not after the way he left.
"I beg of you, sir, give us two more months!" Jareth had never seen his father this upset before. "With the Cabal taxes, there is no way we can pay before the harvest!" The cephalid just gave him a disdainful look. "The agreement was full payment within three years of delivery. It has already been three and a half. Requesting further extensions is an insult." "You know what has happened in these last few years! The chaos has made it impossible for our traders to make their regular profits, and the Cabal has doubled our taxes in order to rebuild their precious cities! We have nothing left! If we were to pay you now, half the town would have to starve!" The cephalid gestured impatiently. "Do you think you are the only people struggling? The Mer Empire is recovering from civil war! Those of us who make the dry ground our home are met with suspicion and disdain everywhere! I am one of the greatest stoneshaper mages of this age, but no one respects me! And if you will not show me respect either, I will have to go to the Cabal. At least it seems they can get you to pay your debts!" Lord Lionshield was on his knees now. "Don't! They would destroy us, at this rate. Please, just take the statue back, shouldn't that be enough?" "Returning the material will not recompense me for my work. This was made according to your instruction, I can't sell it to anyone else. No, I will have my pay, even if you have to sell half the town as slaves!" "How about one single slave, if it's a valuable one?" The lord and the cephalid both turned in confusion to see who was speaking, before Jareth continued: "I am well educated, I am strong, I can serve equally well as advisor, secretary, or bodyguard. Ten years of service should be adequate to cover both the original cost and the delay should it not?" As the cephalid considered the offer, the lord ran to his son. "Jareth! You cannot do this! You are my heir! You cannot leave me, you cannot leave the town! You just cannot!" Jareth smiled at his father. "You have taught me many things, but the two greatest are these: Lead by example, and be prepared to lay down your life for your people. If I do not do this, I will have failed you. Besides..." Jareth looked over his shoulder at the townspeople gathered behind him. "I was always more of a fighter than an administrator. I might have been able to run this town, but we both know that Jerome is the better choice." He turned away quickly. He didn't want to see how his brother would react to those words. Instead, he looked straight at the cephalid. "Do we have an agreement?" Jareth didn't know if cephalids could smile, but it seemed to be the best guess as to what it was doing. "I like you!" It said. "I will forfeit the debt. The town is free, but the statue and the young man are now my property. What's your name, boy?" "Jareth, sir." "And I am Aloran, but 'sir' will do nicely." He turned again to Jareth's father. "Pleasure doing business with you." Lord Lionshield was fighting tears, but decided to cover it with business. "Shall I arrange transport for the statue?" This time, it seemed like Aloran almost laughed. "I told you I am a master stoneshaper, did I not? And this piece of marble is already connected to me." He placed a tentacle on each of the statue's legs. "Get up!" The whole town watched with open mouths as the mass of stone shifted, and took a step. Aloran simply continued casually. "Boy, we're leaving in fifteen minutes. Pack light and say your goodbyes!"
By now, Jareth was in place in the arena. There were many ways to fight in the pits, but this was Jareth's specialty, the multi meelee. It was the largest event, shedding more blood and drawing a larger crowd than most duel or double matches. There were fourteen fighters in the pit, and they kept fighting until only one was standing. Killing was not necessary, but often encouraged. Most of the viewers, and some of the fighters, would never grasp the subtle details that went into planning the matches. Each fighter was assigned a starting position somewhere in the arena, and the placement was carefully planned to make the fight as interesting as possible. Jareth, as one of the strongest fighters, had been placed close to the edge of the arena. In the center was a large zombie, a twisted abomination made up of parts of fallen pit champions. Jareth thought he could recognise some of his own old foes in the mass of limbs. Having that thing in the middle of the pit was, of course, a clever choice. It was dangerous, but not expected to win, so it was placed where it would force others to either engage it directly, or turn out towards the edges. Which was the reason Jareth stood where he did. Anyone who didn't face the zombie would have to face him. Or they could run the other way, but there was a dragon at that end of the arena. All of this created the highest possible amount of action. The three largest, most impressive figures forcing the rest to choose which one to take on, and when. Smart fighters, like the viashino, would stay out of the way until someone else had tried first. For Jareth, that first someone was a centaur, rushing at him with a battle axe. As axe met shield, Jareth made a quick assessment of this first opponent. He was strong, but predictable. Jareth liked predictable. The unpredictable tended to cause him trouble.
"Boy! Great news!" Jareth winced. He had worked for Aloran long enough to learn that they had differing views on what could be considered great news. "What is it, sir?" "The empress has started a project for magic research, and an old friend of mine recommended me for a position! I have here an invitation from Llawan herself!" "I take it I should pack up your equipment?" "Indeed, we'll leave tomorrow. I am not going to waste any time. Jareth looked over at the large white shape in the corner. "And the statue, sir?" "We'll bring that too. Maybe someone there can help us figure out what to do with it. I actually have some ideas that someone there might be able to help me with."
There was a satisfying crunch of a rib cracking as Jareth's fist connected to the centaur's chest. The centaur was visibly worried, and raised up on his back legs to try to kick Jareth with his front hooves. Jareth simply blocked it his shield and pushed back. The crowd cheered as the centaur flipped backwards and crashed to the ground. He made the wise decision to stay down, so Jareth decided to move forward. He surveyed the area, and noticed that six fighters were already down, and the zombie was among them. An aven mage had pinned it down with mage shackles and impaled it with a pole of ice. She spread her wings in triumph, and lifted into the air, while the audience was going wild. And then the cheering reached a peak as the dragon swept in from behind and bit her head off. As Jareth engaged a nearby barbarian, he reminded himself of the big flaw of mages; they always thought that their successes made them invulnerable.
"So if I place these runes here, and you place your runes there and there, it should work..." "Yes, yes, but how about the sensory organs? I still think we could get better results if we placed an actual feline along the transfer path, so that the subject could pick up needed insticts for the body along the way." "Well, the transfer is your area, I'm just making sure that this thing can hold the mind once it's in there." As Jareth entered the room, he knew that the two cephalids were enjoying themselves. "Excuse me sir, may I ask what you are doing?" "Ah, there you are, boy." Aloran was visibly excited. "Lamander here has helped me come up with a perfect use for my skills! We are going to create the best battle armor possible! Instead of shielding a fragile body in plates, we will simply place the person's mind inside a vessel of stone! Imagine not having to worry about injury, because the body that is fighting is not the one you walk home in after the battle." Jareth was impressed. "And you are going to use my father's statue as the first vessel?" "Indeed, now we only need a mind to put inside it..."
Jareth's open palm flattened the barbarian's nose, and the man hit the ground. The next second Jareth reached behind his back, and closed his fingers around the viashino rogue's face. "Did you really think I wouldn't notice you?" He didn't give the viashino a chance to answer before twisting and pulling, resulting in the lizard's head coming straight off of its neck. Now the only people still standing were Jareth, the dragon, and a human nomad. But Jareth figured that the nomad had a very small chance to even scratch the dragon. Some enemies were just impossible to defeat with the limitations of a human body.
"What is that noise?" "There's been an outbreak in section U!" Aloran and Lamander looked at each other with fear in their eyes. "But that is right next to here!" The human mage who had brought the news looked around. "Three of the specimens have broken out of their constaints. Several researchers are dead or injured, and we don't know how to stop them." Jareth made a quick decision. "Put me in the statue!" The three mages all turned to him, and Aloran spoke. "But we've only just started testing!" "And I could control the body well on the first test. It might be the only way to stop this!" Aloran and Lamander reached the same silent conclusion, and both started muttering their incantations, activating the different runes on the marble body, and the bracelet Jareth was wearing. Jareth closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, it was a different pair of eyes he looked out of. At that very moment three creatures entered the room. Jareth had heard a lot about the section U creatures, but this was the first time he saw them. They were slithering along very quickly, and Jareth knew that he had to act fast. The next minute was only a blur of chaos, noise, and claws. When the dust settled, Aloran's lab was almost completely destroyed. The creatures were all dead, but that was not all. As he had fought one of them off, Jareth had inadvertently thrown it claw first into his own body. He let out a deep cry of sadness and confusion. There was a loud noise as his stone body fell to its knees, and cradled his human remains in its massive arms. He looked at Aloran and Lamander. "What will happen to me now?"
Jareth was looking forward to the climax of this fight. He had the advantage of observing the dragon's fighting style against the poor human, and there was no doubt that it would be a challenge. The nomad was lying on the ground, a large gash on his chest, where the dragon's wing had sliced him open. And now the dragon was high up in the air, circling around and choosing an angle of attack to use against Jareth. Jareth knew that he had to be prepared for anything, and every muscle in his body was tense. He couldn't help but smile to himself. Of course he didn't actually have muscles, but thanks to Aloran and Lamander's efforts and skill, it felt exactly like he did. Not only that, but his whole body functioned just as any flesh and blood body would. Which meant that he could answer the dragon's challenging roar with one of his own. That spurred the huge reptile into action. As the large red body came swooping down at a frightening speed, Jareth quickly moved his feet to stabilize himself, and raised his shield. The whole crowd fell silent as the two titans collided. Never before had anyone knocked Jareth off of his feet. Never before had the Bladewing been pushed into the dust of the arena floor. Everyone knew that whatever happened next would be a story to tell your children and grandchildren. Jareth was the first to get back up, and the audience took a collective breath as he did so. As he slowly walked over to the dragon, which also had started stirring, hundreds of people leaned forward in their seats. "You do know that I will not stop fighting until one of us is dead, don't you?" The dragon's voice was weak, but still cut through the whole pit. Jareth looked at him with compassion. "I know, and I will respect that." As the edge of his shield struck the dragon's neck, the audience once again broke out in wild cheering. No one heard his whisper. "Goodbye, Rorix Bladewing. You die with honor."
Aloran was waiting outside the pit. "Come here, boy! Let me look at you. You have scratches all over, and you let that dragon put a crack in your arm!" He mumbled some incantations, and soon Jareth's body was once again shining spotlessly. "At least you won. What will you do with the money?" "What do you think, sir?" This was their usual ritual. Jareth always split his prize money in four. One part he kept, one he gave to Aloran, one part he sent back to Jerome to help the town, and one part he used to help the poor and the weak, as well as buying and freeing slaves. "You know very well, boy, that I do not need your money. You saved my life, you owe me nothing!" "But you saved my life too, sir." "I trapped you in a prison of my own design!" "Strictly speaking, it is my father's design." Jareth couldn't help but smile. They had had this conversation fifteen times over by now. "But I'm fairly certain that you saved my life again when you convinced me to leave that island, boy. Any day now, those section U critters are going to kill everyone out there." "But this is not about lives, it's about property. I'm carrying around a marble statue which you have not received full payment for. Until that debt is paid, I'll keep paying you." As they walked away, still jokingly bickering, Jareth wondered if a debt could be paid in friendship.
I live a traveling life, and have no assured internet access. If I am active in a thread, and then suddenly vanish for several days, it is not because of anyone on the forums (unless it actually is).
No offense towards anything else, but we have GOT to work on your titles. Those are... puntacular, which means Keeper will love them on principle but for serious works, they are dreadful.
Title is something I've grappled with a lot, both for my pieces in M:EM and for private work. I have written and completed at least one novel entirely before giving it a title -- while I was working on it, it simply went by the designation "S-23" (Part of a filing system I use with complicated rules but easy navigation)
A good title has five or fewer words, in a more general sense, three or fewer components (leaving room for multi-word components and excessive necessary conjunctions. you can go over, but not without GOOD formal reason). The tenor of the title, if it has any, should be representitive of the tone of the material itself. Thus, if your title is light because of alliteration, your piece should probably, itself, be light.
Let's analyze a few real world titles, shall we?
"The Shining" Words: 2 Components: 1 Analysis: This is one of the most basic forms of titles, the Noun. Works titled entirely on the name of the main character are also qualified as The Noun. Basically, you pick a term important or central to your story and use that. These are often the shortest titles, and the most straightforward. The title is tone-neutral enough that it fits with a scary story.
"Star Wars" Words: 2 Components: 2 Analysis: A descriptor title. There is no thing in this title that's really a precise thing in the story, but at the same time it gives you a fairly accurate impression of what you are about to see: You're among the stars, and there's a war on. Simple and informative, but the title speaks of pulp in its terms, which is also the feeling evoked ..."window.parent.tinyMCE.get('post_content').onLoad.dispatch();" contenteditable="true" />"The Lord of the Rings" Words: 5 Components: 2 Analysis: This is a noun phrase, rather than a simple noun. It also refers to the villian of the piece, which is an interesting way of going about it. It's perhaps a more interesting than a simple noun, because it tells a little more.
"The Thin Blue Line" Words: 4 Components: 3 Analysis: A Relevant Phrase or Metaphore. Very fitting at conveying what you want to convey with not too many words used.
"Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind" Words: 7 (!) Components: 3 Analysis: Just the title character's name and signifier, but there are so many conjunctions involved that it goes over the soft word limit. This is a fine title, because the idea is still smooth and simple, expressed with three components
"The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" Words: 9 (!) Components: 3-4 depending on how you count "Strange" Analysis: This title is MUCH longer than others, but is ultimatley a three-part noun phrase elongated by the fact that you've got conjunctions, a definite article, and titles involved in this. Also, you see longer titles a lot on older works. Just look at most pieces by Jules Verne: "Around the World in 80 Days", "Journey to the Center of the Earth", "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" -- only the last is five words or under when written, and spoken it breaks 6 too.
"Pirates of the Carribean: Curse of the Black Pearl" Words: 7 (!) Components 4-5 (!), depending on how you count "Black" Analysis: This title follows one of the only patterns allowed to break the three component rule: A title with a subtitle or other modifier "Character Name and the Whatever-it-is-this-time" (eg. All 7 Harry Potter novels, all Indiana Jones films after the first, "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow") would fit as well in this category. The thing is, both "Pirates of the Carribean" and "Curse of the Black Pearl" would be fine titles -- and in some ways, they are. Pirates is the series title, Curse is the installment title. As long as each one abides the rules, you *can* do it
"Dr. Strangelove; or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb" Words: 13 (!!!) Components: At least 6 (!!!) Analysis: And thus the film is basically just known as "Dr. Strangelove" -- the subtitle alone breaks the general rules of title composition. The reason it even begins to work is that it's used to set a humorous tone. The title is deliberatley overblown, letting the audience in on what Hollywood apocrypha insists the actors were not: this is black comedy/satire, because that full title is just too ridiculous to believe.
"Enjoy your screams, Sarpadia - they will soon be muffled beneath snow and ice." THE COALITION WAR GAME -Phyrexian Praetor Round 1: (4-1-2, 1 kill) Round 2: (16-8-2, 4 kills) Round 3: (18-9-2, 1 kill) Round 4: (22-10-0, 2 kills) Round 5: (56-16-3, 9 kills) Round 6: (8-7-1) [current round]
"Dr. Strangelove; or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb" Words: 13 (!!!) Components: At least 6 (!!!) Analysis: And thus the film is basically just known as "Dr. Strangelove"
"Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind" Words: 7 (!) Components: 3 Analysis: Just the title character's name and signifier, but there are so many conjunctions involved that it goes over the soft word limit. This is a fine title, because the idea is still smooth and simple, expressed with three components
I'd like to point out that the main reason this breaks the rules is because of translation. There's just not a single good word in English for the Janese 'no' (の). Thus "Kaze no Tani no Naushika", a five-word title with the same three components, needs extra particles and prepositions to become English-language coherent "Nausicaäof the Valley of the Wind" (remember the umlaut!).
Other than that, it serves as a good example.
Profile Picture taken with implied permission from Trildar.
My to-read list (suggest yours!) 1. Legacies - Barinellos 2. Something by HairlessThoctar (would you like to suggest which one to start on?)
I suppose the downside is that it would be just like now, only in the future. And I couldn't get on the internet for places like this, because... well... you saw the episode. Not that going online full-body wouldn't be cool...
All I know is that this place would be a lot steamier if we went in full body. And I'd blame Keeper for it.
Yes, the titles are only placeholders. If anyone has suggestions, I'm open.
Now, did anyone read the actual stories, or is the title the only important thing?
Also, as I'm currently working on Rorix' story, does anyone know how much of Shivan Dragon society has been explored in canon? Especially about the dragons taking part in the Phyrexian war, and if there is anything about dragon mating rituals? I'm hoping there isn't, because I've come up with some things I like, and I want to use it. If there are specifics in canon, I have a lot of rewriting to do.
I live a traveling life, and have no assured internet access. If I am active in a thread, and then suddenly vanish for several days, it is not because of anyone on the forums (unless it actually is).
Yes, the titles are only placeholders. If anyone has suggestions, I'm open.
Now, did anyone read the actual stories, or is the title the only important thing?
Still haven't gotten around to it sorry to say.
Also, as I'm currently working on Rorix' story, does anyone know how much of Shivan Dragon society has been explored in canon? Especially about the dragons taking part in the Phyrexian war, and if there is anything about dragon mating rituals? I'm hoping there isn't, because I've come up with some things I like, and I want to use it. If there are specifics in canon, I have a lot of rewriting to do.
Shivan Dragon society has been explored in more depth than most draconic society... mostly because there isn't much in the way of draconic society.
The Shivan dragons flew under the wings of Darighaaz. Virtually all of the Shivan dragons took part in the war, with a bare few phased out by Teferi.
Dragon mating rituals are aggressive. There's nothing like "love" in the draconic vocabulary, just "need". They fight for dominance while in flight and then immediately turn around and mate if the female can be overpowered. It hasn't been explored in depth, but I'm just tossing what I know out there.
Now, did anyone read the actual stories, or is the title the only important thing?
I apologize on my own behalf on that, You see, up until about a week ago I had completely detached myself from the Wizards forums in their entirety. The reason I came back was to inquire as to the forum game Guildwars which should have launched with Return to Ravnica.
However, that isn't exactly an excuse for my behaviour. What is: Job; Homestuck; Avatar: The Last Airbender; Breaking Bad; R.A. Salvatore.
Sorry, but at the moment I find I am not quite enamored enough with these forums to lend anything other than the occasional side comment.
Keep going, though. I find myself that the group here just isn't traficked enough (even by the normal members) to get much feedback at all. Just keep working at it, eventually you'll get your time in the sun (or so I hope; I'm still working toward mine).
Profile Picture taken with implied permission from Trildar.
My to-read list (suggest yours!) 1. Legacies - Barinellos 2. Something by HairlessThoctar (would you like to suggest which one to start on?)
I suppose the downside is that it would be just like now, only in the future. And I couldn't get on the internet for places like this, because... well... you saw the episode. Not that going online full-body wouldn't be cool...
All I know is that this place would be a lot steamier if we went in full body. And I'd blame Keeper for it.
I'm having a lot of second thoughts about Rorix' story, so it needs a lot of fixing before I can put it up here.
I'm thinking about just making the call that Tarox would be Rorix' son straight and simple. It would create a cool dynamic between the two characters as shown by the cards and my story. Do you think that's OK?
Regarding titles, I think I'll just keep "Beyond the Pits" as the series titles, and subtitle each story with the first name of the focus character, e.g. "Beyond the Pits: Arcanis". Looks much cleaner, doesn't it?
I live a traveling life, and have no assured internet access. If I am active in a thread, and then suddenly vanish for several days, it is not because of anyone on the forums (unless it actually is).
I'm not sure the timeline works with Tarox though... that seems like a stretch to me. Do you need Tarox to be the son, or do you just need there to be a son?
