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Switch to Forum Live View [Short Story/Raef] Legacies (working title)
2 years ago  ::  Sep 11, 2011 - 12:29AM #91
Barinellos
Date Joined: Apr 8, 2009
Posts: 7,951
Well yeah, that's why I've been doing that project with you. That's right folks, you heard that right. Plague and I have teamed up for a project. Hopefully it will be done soon.

Anyways, it's just this one part, this one introduction that I need to pop for this. It shouldn't be hard if I can just get it to flow right, but it feels like an aqueduct rather than a river. I have to break that aqueduct and let the river flow correctly. It'll be the same water, but hopefully more natural. After that, the river should flow like rapids. Just gotta get over this one hump.
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2 years ago  ::  Sep 11, 2011 - 12:52AM #92
PlagueEngine
Date Joined: Mar 22, 2011
Posts: 1,490
Yeah. We gots a project. And the character that I made for it isn't overpowered at all. Seriously. It's a landmark occasion for me as a walking powercreep dispenser. So you all look forward to that.

But back to the matter at hand. Whatever way you want to go about it, I doubt you could really do it wrong, at least not as far as I'm concerned. You haven't disappointed me yet. You've got a strong character and a strong premise. It's a damn goldmine. I'm totally jealous. It should come together on its own in time, inside your head. Great stories always do that.
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2 years ago  ::  Sep 11, 2011 - 4:21PM #93
kennysmith1234
Date Joined: Sep 10, 2011
Posts: 516
I love the new additions, Bar.
The story is getting better evry time I read it!
WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!

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2 years ago  ::  Sep 12, 2011 - 1:08PM #94
KeeperofManyNames
Date Joined: Dec 12, 2008
Posts: 10,457
If you're in need of something to do while you're brooding over the next part, Kirsh has made his way through the shield around East City, so there might be some interesting role playing opportunities there
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2 years ago  ::  Sep 21, 2011 - 9:41PM #95
Barinellos
Date Joined: Apr 8, 2009
Posts: 7,951
I'll start working again on this Saturday or so. I finally managed to clear away the deadwood that was cluttering up my brain and make some nice driftwood sculptures out of it. I promise I'll have this done by the time I go on Vacation.
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2 years ago  ::  Nov 05, 2011 - 11:48PM #96
Trolljuju
Date Joined: Mar 10, 2009
Posts: 3,149
Holy^%*%&$ this is amazing!!!

Are you trying to torture me Barinellos? Pointing me at this when it isn't done yet? I NEED MORE NOM NOM NOM get writing or I'll send my flaming skeletal demonic pigeons after you 
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The Story of My Love Show

Dec 30, 2011 -- 6:01PM, Yanmato1 wrote:

BURSTING WITH VIGOR! Show


Trolljuju wiped the sweat from his brow as he continued his slow trudge up the snowy mountain. The wind was strong and fiercely cold, but he pressed against it. Juju knew Beast Engine was somewhere at the peak, waiting for him. But this was not a matter of confronting the forces of nature themselves; that had been accomplished long before, and was now too easy to maintain the manly man's interest. Today, Beast Engine was here waiting for a friend.

Trolljuju's mind drifted from his appointment to thoughts of Beast Engine's manliness. The only man in history to punch the fossilized remains of a dinosaur back to life just to punch it to death again. The man who deflected bullets with his pectoral muscles during his daily assassination attempts. The man who cured cancer with a serum made from pure crystalized virility. The man who burst with vigor. Not just a man but a Man- the manliest of all men. A god of masculinity in physical form.

Trolljuju's heart fluttered at the memory of him and lightened his steps as he pressed on.

Suddenly, he was shaken from his reverie by a deep, powerful rumble in the mountain that shook him to his core. Instinctively, he threw himself to the ground just before the slope ahead of him exploded in a fiery wall of light and heat. So great was the force that the entire upper section of the mountain was vaproized. It scorched Juju's coat, then rose on the air to drift far away, a plume of white-hot ash. When Trolljuju lifted his head to see what was left behind, he beheld a wide, perfectly flat stone plateau, and in the distance he could see a muscular figure, his foot still held up from the kick. There was no doubt it was Beast Engine.

As soon as the ground beneath him cooled, Juju cast his heavy pack aside and ran. As the figure grew with closeness, he could see Beast Engine was nude, as was expected. The snow that fell near him turned to a thin wall of steam, looking to Trolljuju's eyes like a barrier. Engine was too strong, too manly to occupy the same space as the ordinary universe. He lived in a world all his own. But fortunately for Juju, it was only an illusion. He ran at full speed into Engine, who caught him with both arms and effortlessly twirled with him, resting with Juju dipped low to the ground in Engine's arms.

"Beast Engine, my love," Trolljuju breathed, sturck with awe at Engine's masculine beauty despite the familiarity of his face.
Engine just smiled, radiating from every inch of him with incredible strength, yet gentle warmth.
"It's been so long, Juju. I've missed you."
"Forgive me. I lost contact with you while you were boxing with Death to win back and consume the soul of Theodore Roosevelt. But now I'm here..."
Juju lifted one tentative hand to Engine's face, but he pulled away.
"You know I cannot give you what you seek. Were we to make love, your body would be destroyed by the force."
"I know, of course I would," Juju responded, tears in his eyes. "May I have, at least, one kiss?"
"Very well. For you, my friend."
Slowly, gingerly, they came closer. But the moment their lips met, a flood of unbridled manliness rushed into Trolljuju, body and soul, and every cell in his body exploded.

Beast Engine fell to his knees, and in his grief, he wept. The tears that fell from his face burned deep into the rock beneath him. But slowly, his sorrow turned to conviction.

He beat the crap out of Death once. He could do it again.

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2 years ago  ::  Nov 06, 2011 - 1:01AM #97
Barinellos
Date Joined: Apr 8, 2009
Posts: 7,951

Nov 5, 2011 -- 11:48PM, Trolljuju wrote:

Holy^%*%&$ this is amazing!!!

Are you trying to torture me Barinellos? Pointing me at this when it isn't done yet? I NEED MORE NOM NOM NOM get writing or I'll send my flaming skeletal demonic pigeons after you 




I have every intention of picking up Part 3 again. I just had Loss pop up and then got busy with the Academy. Now I have Ahden that needs to be submitted and polished, but the sooner I get that off my plate, the more space I'll have here again. Mostly, I just got minorly burned out by pouring so much of myself in.

I feel like it's regrown again, so I'll start examining things again.

And of course, I'm interested in what you liked SPECIFICALLY about it. What you felt the strongest parts were, what it made you feel, if you could see it all in your mind's eye.

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2 years ago  ::  Nov 06, 2011 - 8:53AM #98
StrTower
Date Joined: Jan 20, 2011
Posts: 142
I must say Barinellos, you make me want to quite writing ever again. Or is it you make me want to write more stories and less dossiers? I think the greatest strength of this story is the level of suspense that you have developed. You answer enough questions while leaving just the right ones unanswered. For example, what is he doing at the manor, and what is that creepy little thrull going to do with his sword? I know this questions will get answered, but your writing makes effective use of the uncertainty while it can. It makes for an awesome read.
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2 years ago  ::  Nov 06, 2011 - 11:46AM #99
Barinellos
Date Joined: Apr 8, 2009
Posts: 7,951
 Well, we never say no to more stories. If I inspire you, go nuts man.

And yes, all those questions shall be answered. In due time.
So what did you think of Part 1 and Part 2?
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2 years ago  ::  Nov 12, 2011 - 6:06PM #100
jedi123
Date Joined: Sep 6, 2008
Posts: 6,330
Whats going on with this?

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