Stupid stuff that people say at the gaming table

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Just started a new website, looking to spread the word, you people seem to be the ones I need to talk to

So, I realized that some of the funniest crap people say is when they're sat around a gaming table. You put a bunch of people in a world without real-life consequences they'll do something stupid

For example, I give my latest group a boat, making casual reference to the narwhal figurehead on the front. The first guy on board says proudly "I straddle the narwhal!" This is now the group motto for doing something awesome.

So now I have a website for it... It's in my signature, we only started it on the 30th of June so it's nothing like finished yet, but hey, enjoy 

Quotes From The Tabletop A place to share the funniest quotes and stories from your RP games

 

Advertising is against our fairly rigid CoC.
Resident Prophet of the OTTer.

Section Six Soldier

Front Door of the House of Trolls

[b]If you're terribly afraid of your character dying, it may be best if you roleplayed something other than an adventurer.[/b]

Then consider this thread deleted

Quotes From The Tabletop A place to share the funniest quotes and stories from your RP games

 

Impossible, I'm afraid.  Once someone posts in a thread you can't delete it.  Lame, I know.  Blame Onesite.

Er, impossible for you to delete anyway.  ORCs still can, of course.
Resident Prophet of the OTTer.

Section Six Soldier

Front Door of the House of Trolls

[b]If you're terribly afraid of your character dying, it may be best if you roleplayed something other than an adventurer.[/b]

Ah well, I do apologize. Are there any objections to my keeping the site link in my signature?

Quotes From The Tabletop A place to share the funniest quotes and stories from your RP games

 

I don't think so.  I ain't no mod, though.  Lucky for you I ain't no narc neither.  ;)

Resident Prophet of the OTTer.

Section Six Soldier

Front Door of the House of Trolls

[b]If you're terribly afraid of your character dying, it may be best if you roleplayed something other than an adventurer.[/b]

Well I'm going to start circulating around here and on the Eberron pages, if I get in trouble I get in trouble, but frankly, I've been registered to the forums for years, it's about damn time I did something with the account :P

Cheers dude, I'll catch you around here some time

Quotes From The Tabletop A place to share the funniest quotes and stories from your RP games

 

Yupyup.  I'm sure you'll be ok.  If not, that'd be pretty lame.
Resident Prophet of the OTTer.

Section Six Soldier

Front Door of the House of Trolls

[b]If you're terribly afraid of your character dying, it may be best if you roleplayed something other than an adventurer.[/b]

A funny thing years ago when I was running a D20 Modern campaign.
The PCs were in a zombie infested world (this was before zombies became the "in" thing), and one of the PCs was bit and failed his save (but he didn't know if he passed or not, as I rolled the save). The medic-type PC successfully diagnosed him and I took him aside and told him that, indeed, the other PC had the zombie disease, but it was up to him if he wanted to tell him or not. The medic PC returned to the table, looked at the player with the infected PC and very somberly and seriously said "You got The Zombie".

Ah it was hilarious!
...
I guess you just had to be there...
"War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse."- John Stuart Mill “Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”― William F. Buckley "The straw in your man is amazing."- Maxperson Original Hipster of the House of Trolls: I was hipster before hipster was cool Resident Hater Mini Hate Machine
One of our most memorable moments.

Player: I cast web on the fire elemental.
DM: Um...ok....you realize it's going to immediately burn away right?
Player: Yeah but it'll take damage from the fire.
All Players: It's a FIRE elemental!

Next Round
Player: I cast web on the fire elemental.
DM: Really? Ok it burns away....
Player: Yeah but now it's going to take fire damage.
All Players: It's a FIRE elemental. It's IMMUNE TO FIRE! We just went over this!

Next Round
Player: I cast fireball on the fire elemental.
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I survived Section 4 and all I got was this lousy sig Off-topic and going downhill from there
I was in a very silly mood one session...
The party splits up, with the psion/sorcerer and ardent going one way, and me (dwarf favored soul/scout) and the other PC (gnome sorcerer) going the other. We're only ~level 4 at the time, so I was actually still keeping up with the casters. Anyway, he tries to Scorching Ray a locked wooden door in order to open it and succeeds only in setting it on fire... So I picked him up & threw him through the burning door (taking damage) and landing on a pile of random bones (including pointy ones!) & taking more damage. I heal him up & we go on our way. Party meets back up to explore some old tunnels we had found, but we had no one with the ability to find or disable traps... So I threw him again (setting off a poisoned spike trap). It goes off; he drops to negative points. As I heal him enough to bring him back to consciousness, I look at the rest of the party & say, "Who needs a 10' pole when you've got a 3' gnome?"
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56788208 wrote:
I do, however, have one last lesson on this subject. That last one? The only build in this post that can one-shot average opponents[by dealing twice as much damage as they have HP? I would argue that it is not optimized. Why isn't it optimized? Because it's overkill. Overkill is NOT optimizing. This means that there are portions of this build dedicated to damage which can safely be removed and thrown elsewhere. For example, you probably don't need both Leap Attack AND Headlong Rush at the same time. You could pick up Extra Rage feats for stamina, feats to support AoO effects, feats that work towards potential prestige classes, and so on. However, you could also shift our ability scores around somewhat. I mean, if you're getting results like that with 16 starting Strength, maybe you can lower it to 14, and free up four points to spend somewhere else - perhaps back into Charisma, giving you some oomph for Intimidating Rage or Imperious Command if you want. You can continue to tune this until it deals "enough" damage - and that "enough" does not need to be "100%". It could easily be, say, 80% (leaving the rest to the team), if your DM is the sort who would ban one-hit killers.
Tempest_Stormwind on Character Optimization
So when do you think Bachmann will be saying she met a mother the previous night that had a son who got a blood transfusion using a gay guy's blood, and now the son is retardedly gay?
When she meets CJ's mom?
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