Pabloing BUBBLES - Theory Dump

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So, I had some ideas for some functional Theories. I thought I'd dump 'em here maybe.

Eternal Monstrosity
Creature - Beast Theory (C)
Eternal Monstrosity was not cast.

"It has been hunting, rutting, and mating since before time itself began."

3/2 


First one. My only real problem is the typeline. Theory Beast, maybe? 

139359831 wrote:
That is a lovely painting of Richard Garfield. It really brings out his feminine side.
what is this

 

120.6. Some effects replace card draws.

 

why are you here when NGA exists and is just better

Make it a supertype.  "Theory Creature — Beast".  Or "Theoretical Creature — Beast".
I think you'd have to go with a Suspend like ability...or simply can't be cast, must be put.

The way it currently works, you would cast it, all cast triggers would take place, it would ETB, its effect would do nothing, unless I'm missing some fringe cards or you want to design an interesting (yet most likely unfun) mechaninc that only works on cards that were cast...
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Well, most of my Theories were enchantments - but I think that the creature ones are fun.

Here are some old ones for reference:

Yesterday's Resentment 
Enchantment - Theory (R)
You had 40 life.

"And you will again, if you are willing to consume those beneath you. . ." 

Tshaborex, the Grown 
Legendary Creature - Theory Demon (M)
Tshaborex was once a 0/0 Colourless Homunculus Creature.

"There once was demon from Urborg. . ."

7/7

From Skin to Scale 
Enchantment - Theory (R)
Each non-Human Dragon was once a Human.

"You can see it reflected in his scales. In the sadness of his eyes. In the heat of his fire - he attempts to reforge the past." 


But I wanted to make something that maybe functioned in real magic somehow.

Relentless Wrath
Instant (C)
Relentless Wrath was not countered.
Relentless Wrath deals two damage to target creature or player.

"In a world without water, the seas consist of fire." 

139359831 wrote:
That is a lovely painting of Richard Garfield. It really brings out his feminine side.
Oh yeah, you're right. Well, I forgot to even add Theory to it so I guess I'll scrap that one. Let me see.

How about this.

Landscape of the Lost
Land - Theory (R)
Landscape of the Lost did not enter the battlefield this turn.
: Add to your mana pool.

"Some come here to die, some come here to never be born."

139359831 wrote:
That is a lovely painting of Richard Garfield. It really brings out his feminine side.
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Oh yeah, you're right. Well, I forgot to even add Theory to it so I guess I'll scrap that one. Let me see.

How about this.

Landscape of the Lost
Land - Theory (R)
Landscape of the Lost did not enter the battlefield this turn.
: Add to your mana pool.

"Some come here to die, some come here to never be born."



So that makes sense for effects like "target permanent that entered the battlefield this turn".  (I don't think any of those actually exist, but whatevs).  On the other hand, I'm not sure how it interacts with landfall.  Did a land enter the battlefield, but none of them in particular?  Or is this intended not to make landfall happen?
Oh yeah, you're right. Well, I forgot to even add Theory to it so I guess I'll scrap that one. Let me see.

How about this.

Landscape of the Lost
Land - Theory (R)
Landscape of the Lost did not enter the battlefield this turn.
: Add to your mana pool.

"Some come here to die, some come here to never be born."



So that makes sense for effects like "target permanent that entered the battlefield this turn".  (I don't think any of those actually exist, but whatevs).  On the other hand, I'm not sure how it interacts with landfall.  Did a land enter the battlefield, but none of them in particular?  Or is this intended not to make landfall happen?


Zaneck Guildmage (if I spelled that right).

The important thing it does is give the land haste, which is of course completely unimportant. 
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mymoment
\
57817638 wrote:
58060728 wrote:
88318561 wrote:
58060728 wrote:
Moriok Rigger does absolutely nothing to boost other riggers. You are incorrect.
Moriok Rigger is not a Rigger in print. Only in Errata WHAT NOW! (yes, I did put that phrase in for that exact reason)
Congratulations, they have activated your trap card!
Ah, okay. I like that Dr. D.

Infinite Pacifist
Creature - Theoretical Goat Monk
Infinite Pacifist never entered the battlefield.

"Why go to the war, when the war is within me?"

1/1 


Considered Red also. Also used Tyranno's suggestion for this one, sorta. Thanks Tyr. I should make a card called Infinite Patientfist.

139359831 wrote:
That is a lovely painting of Richard Garfield. It really brings out his feminine side.
Ah, okay. I like that Dr. D.

Infinite Pacifist
Creature - Theoretical Goat Monk
Infinite Pacifist never entered the battlefield.

"Why go to the war, when the war is within me?"

1/1 


Considered Red also. Also used Tyranno's suggestion for this one, sorta. Thanks Tyr. I should make a card called Infinite Patientfist.


This is the weirdest instance of color bleed I can recall.
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mymoment
\
57817638 wrote:
58060728 wrote:
88318561 wrote:
58060728 wrote:
Moriok Rigger does absolutely nothing to boost other riggers. You are incorrect.
Moriok Rigger is not a Rigger in print. Only in Errata WHAT NOW! (yes, I did put that phrase in for that exact reason)
Congratulations, they have activated your trap card!
Make this bull crap relevant and you have a spot in my heart forever.
I don't really mind providing feedback, but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to post in this thread! ~.~
witty remarks

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192884403 wrote:
surely one can't say complex conditional passive language is bad grammar ?
Due to the nature of my course, I've had to look at the question 'what is design?' and I think the interesting thing here is that a lot of pablo's creations seem to be closer to using magic as a medium for art, rather than as a design. Keeper, being better read and more erudite than I, will probably disagree, but I thought it was interesting enough to mention. On the cards, the ideas are cool and provoke interesting ideas, but I doubt it will ever be playable, without either a massive overhaul or a highly parasitic set. Also, Keeper used a gif from Black Books, I love that show!
Ego
144902215 wrote:
Morgothra has the Syntax and Grammar of a God.
56754738 wrote:
I love this card.
56771968 wrote:
I can't compete with this.
57461258 wrote:
@Morgothra: Beautifully said, sir. Beautifully said.
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Proper context for what your intention here is, 


~ doesn't count as being cast.  

IMAGE(http://cdn.bulbagarden.net/upload/7/74/Spr_5b_645.png)

So, I had some ideas for some functional Theories. I thought I'd dump 'em here maybe.

Eternal Monstrosity
Creature - Beast Theory (C)
Eternal Monstrosity was not cast.

"It has been hunting, rutting, and mating since before time itself began."

3/2 


First one. My only real problem is the typeline. Theory Beast, maybe? 



wurm ?

NO WAR

DOD replaces human label with terrorist Blood-Chin Fanatic

 

Sesame Street - Somebody Come And play

Proper context for what your intention here is, 


~ doesn't count as being cast.  



1. No, that's not his intention. See his other (excellent) Theory cards.

2. You are not allowed to talk about wording to anyone, ever, at all, under any circumstances. 
Proper context for what your intention here is, 


~ doesn't count as being cast.  



1. No, that's not his intention. See his other (excellent) Theory cards.

2. You are not allowed to talk about wording to anyone, ever, at all, under any circumstances. 


by this point you've become about twice as annoying as Kevin
192884403 wrote:
firstrike
56965458 wrote:
97820278 wrote:
56965458 wrote:
97820278 wrote:
Ceci n'est pas une pipe.
This definitely doesn't mean what you think it means.
I was referring to the painting The Treachery of Images.
I know.
Make this bull crap relevant and you have a spot in my heart forever.


Well, here was one of the cards that was in the original M'Nool:

Revolve 
Instant (C)
Target creature gains all the abilities it has ever had, until end of turn.

"And it all came back to her. Everything she had ever learned. Everything she had ever known."


It doesn't make all theory cards relevant, but there were some like "Jaded Veterans" or somesuch that used to be all badass, but had grown old and tired. Revolve is maybe not the best name. Reremember. Memories Made Flesh. Past Perfection. Something like that.
I don't really mind providing feedback, but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to post in this thread! ~.~


Compliments, praise, credit card numbers, instructions on how to find secret treasures.
Proper context for what your intention here is, 


~ doesn't count as being cast.  



1. No, that's not his intention. See his other (excellent) Theory cards.

2. You are not allowed to talk about wording to anyone, ever, at all, under any circumstances. 


by this point you've become about twice as annoying as Kevin


Well, she did call my cards excellent! Also, there is something a tad silly about this. I've seen this little chain appear a few times. Kevin posts. Jessica posts in response to Kevin in a mildly insulting way. Then you do the same to her. Am I volunteering to join this perpetual chain? I hope not.

139359831 wrote:
That is a lovely painting of Richard Garfield. It really brings out his feminine side.
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under you control, if it wasn't cast, be awesome.
You can work other ones too.
Due to the nature of my course, I've had to look at the question 'what is design?' and I think the interesting thing here is that a lot of pablo's creations seem to be closer to using magic as a medium for art, rather than as a design. Keeper, being better read and more erudite than I, will probably disagree, but I thought it was interesting enough to mention. On the cards, the ideas are cool and provoke interesting ideas, but I doubt it will ever be playable, without either a massive overhaul or a highly parasitic set. Also, Keeper used a gif from Black Books, I love that show!

I love that show too! I need to watch more of it, actually.

And I don't necessarily disagree. I feel like I would disagree with how the terms are used rather than the underlying ideas. Like, I don't think you can have art without design, but that's just a particular use of the term design that isn't quite what you're going for, I think.

And as far as the underlying idea... yeah. I feel the same way about the designs of some of the other posters here as well. Like, I think Arazlam's stuff is great, but I think it would result in a set/block that would be very inaccessible to people that aren't as... Melvinish, maybe, or as interested in each card as a discrete object? But that's set design as an auteur, and that's something I'm really fascinated by. I almost wonder if Wizards' success as a business stymies its success as an artistic venture since there really isn't room for auteur voices anymore (compare this to modern blockbuster cinema and the studio system, maybe).

So yeah, I think you're on the mark with the kind of design Pablo does, even if there's some problems maybe with putting so much emphasis on the will of the individual author... (but I'm not sure how you would start to apply Death of the Author to card design exactly so let's skip it)



Also, numbering your comments one and two does not make your comments two times as annoying, as intriguing as that possibility is.

...

PABLO DESIGN A CARD THAT BECOMES ANNOYING BASED ON ITS NUMBER OF BULLET POINTS I DARE YOU D:




Also also, in the name of maybe getting a spot in Chaos's heart, here's stuff that works with the most recent card Pablo posted:


  1. It hoses Cradle to the Grave

  2. It... doesn't interact with Oran-Rief, even if it's green

  3. It doesn't interact with Novijen

  4. It hoses Premature Burial 


So I guess this is a list of stuff that very specifically DOESN'T work with the most recent card Pablo posted. Hm.

Also this post is now 4x more annoying than Morgothra's. Or maybe 8x if each numeral in a list after the first in fact multiplies the base number by two???? POSSIBILITIES ABOUND 
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Obnoxious Engine  0
Artifact
At the beginning of each end step, each player
puts a 0/1 pest artifact creature onto the battlefield
equal to the sum value of all numerals on all spells
that player cast this turn.
As an additional cost to cast Obnoxious Engine, destroy
all lands you control.


Sorry, Pablo, I decided to do my challenge myself I guess. Is this card worthy of your auteur genius? 
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Also, numbering your comments one and two does not make your comments two times as annoying, as intriguing as that possibility is.


I think Shrimp was refering to pointlessly yelling at Kevin rather than numbering points.

 

120.6. Some effects replace card draws.

 

why are you here when NGA exists and is just better

Also, numbering your comments one and two does not make your comments two times as annoying, as intriguing as that possibility is.


I think Shrimp was refering to pointlessly yelling at Kevin rather than numbering points.

 

...What, was that really too deadpan?

Hm. 
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Also, numbering your comments one and two does not make your comments two times as annoying, as intriguing as that possibility is.


I think Shrimp was refering to pointlessly yelling at Kevin rather than numbering points.

 

...What, was that really too deadpan?

Hm. 


was more using it as a platform to agree with Shrimp than anything else

 

120.6. Some effects replace card draws.

 

why are you here when NGA exists and is just better

Oh, well, consider this my open disagreement with both of you I guess?

At least we got a terrible, overly-complicated card out of it. 
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Maybe you could do something like this:


Extraplanar Ally

Creature – Angel
3/3

Flying
Extraplanar Ally is not cast, but called.

"No, Sheoldred. This is not one woman against the world, but many worlds against one."
–Elspeth


Then in the CR explain how "calling" a creature is functionally identical to "casting" a creature, except it doesn't trigger effects that check for casting spells.

Embrace imagination.

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Morgothra and Keeper: Actually, that is totally my aim. I want to design cards as art. I want the words to be as pulchritudinous as the images - or at least as evocative. I think that Magic presents itself as a unique challenge for the artist. How does one create beauty within these strict parameters? So far, Theories are about as close as I have come - and as you mentioned, they are parasitic as the dickens.

The Obnoxious Engine is um. Nice?

CKY: That's lovely. The purpose of Theories is to mess with Tenses. Originally it was going to be First Set: Past Tense. Second Set: Present Tense. Third Set: Future Tense. Of course, everything in Magic already is in the Present, so. . . The Second Set was going to be dull, but.

Anyway, Extraplanar Ally is quite pretty and certainly in the same vein.

Let's see. I thought of another earlier. Let me see if I can remember it.

Primordial Resident
Creature - Theoretical Dinosaur Spirit
Primordial Resident has always been on the battlefield.

"Time itself does not remember the creature's origins."

3/3 

Let's see if I can make a future one at least semi-relevant:

The Untamable Pitlands
Legendary Land
The Untamable Pitlands will never add mana to your mana pool.
: Add to the mana pool of a player at random.

"They are Legendary for a reason."
- Kristhixican, Charred Man 

Hmmm. Sorta. I don't even know what is happening in that. 

139359831 wrote:
That is a lovely painting of Richard Garfield. It really brings out his feminine side.

Yessss. I know as a good theorist I should hold myself above the simple mutterings of authorial intent, but I'm secretly always totally giddy when it turns out I've figured out what an artist is going for. :P


I'm a little saddened though that you don't think more of the obnoxious engine. Granted, I didn't exactly spend a lot of time thinking it over, but I figured the weird use of numbers would appeal.


That's an almost Holckesque flavor text on that last piece. It's fairly straightforward in its execution, though, compared to some of the other bizarre tense cards you've come up with.


That ability might work as its own sort of fascinating statement of color pie and mechanical assurance:


Surrakar Rootjester
Creature--Surrakar Shaman
~ will never add mana to a mana pool.
It pathetically apes the movements of the rootsworn,
but to no avail.

2/3


Also, if you're unsatisfied with the present tense cards, why not go the Planar Chaos route and make them alternate present cards? "If this could have been cast this turn..." "If this could have entered the battlefield this turn..."

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Putrid Bloooath
Enchantment - Theory
At the beginning of your upkeep you lose 1 life
Creatures were cast from your graveyard.
In death all life is born through me

Eh.
Rock and Roll  [mc]2RW[/c]
Enchantment Creature--Avatar
~ will never die.
"Hey hey, my my" 
2/1

I'm sorry. u_u
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Realism
Creature - Horror Theory
Theories will never be printed.
4/4

I, uh, I don't know. We probably share some of the same motivation in card design, but I feel like you need to do a lot with this to achieve what can only be describes as "cute". I mean, I can't even imagine the future tense being able to actually do anything, and the present already exists. So we're stuck with the past, which as you've said, is fairly parasitic. I can agree that it's fun to theorize with, so I guess I can't look down on it too much. Eh, my rational and playful parts of myself are in conflict, so have a card instead.

Amnesia
Enchantment - Theory
Creatures had no last known information.

Eh, I can already do this with current wording. Goddamnit.

Yxoque wrote:
This forum can't even ****ing self-destruct properly.

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Surrakar Rootjester
Creature--Surrakar Shaman
~ will never add mana to a mana pool.
It pathetically apes the movements of the rootsworn,
but to no avail.

2/3



I actually almost posted this. It seems a little strange though. Very difficult to make relevant. Past tense however.

Surrakar Rootjester
Creature--Theoretical Surrakar Shaman
Surraker Rootjester once added mana to your mana pool.
It pathetically apes the movements of the rootsworn
but to no avail.

2/3

then. . . 

The Gratitude of Wizards
Instant
Until end of turn, each permanent that has added mana to your mana pool is indestructible.

"Thank you," the magic man gargled through his tears. 

Oh, and Alternate Present idea is pulchritudinous! I shall be pondering this one now! 

139359831 wrote:
That is a lovely painting of Richard Garfield. It really brings out his feminine side.
Eh, I can already do this with current wording. Goddamnit.

That's the problem I'm having with a lot of stuff these days...

You could go with my past and, ultimately wrong, theories on the consqeunces of time travel...Past, Present Past, Future Past
Which creates:  Potential (future) Present, Actual (Past) Present, and Altered (current) Present 
Which then branches into some really stupid stuff...



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