Are female players trouble?

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I was curious as to people's thoughts about females in gaming. I am trying to start up a new group, but the GF does not want to game with other female in a group feeling that they are trouble. In the grand scheme of it I do not see an issues, however I have games with those female who do try to dominate things and make it all about them. I was currious if anyone one had horror stories when they tried to add more than one female to the mix. I just want to be able to game and do it with my GF. Am I asking for too much?
"DM's girlfriend" is bad news.  Everyone else is usually okay.
My experience is that female players aren't any more or less trouble than anyone else, no matter how many you have, but the male players who try to do everything to impress female players are trouble.  And by "players" I mean DMs too.  Matter of fact, when I've played, it's more often been the DM who kisses up to the female than any of the other players.

Sounds like your girlfriend is the one who's trouble in this situation.  Tell her if she can't put her big girl panties on and handle gaming with other women, you'll be happy to play with her in another game where she can be the sole female and she can sit this one out.

Don't let her, or anyone else, tell you who you can or can't play D&D with.  If they don't like it, they don't have to play. 

OD&D, 1E and 2E challenged the player. 3E challenged the character, not the player. Now 4E takes it a step further by challenging a GROUP OF PLAYERS to work together as a TEAM. That's why I love 4E.

"Your ability to summon a horde of celestial superbeings at will is making my ... BMX skills look a bit redundant."

"People treat their lack of imagination as if it's the measure of what's silly. Which is silly." - Noon

"Challenge" is overrated.  "Immersion" is usually just a more pretentious way of saying "having fun playing D&D."

"Falling down is how you grow.  Staying down is how you die.  It's not what happens to you, it's what you do after it happens.”

....seriously?

No, females in gaming aren't a problem.
Skeptical_Clown wrote:
More sex and gender equality and racial equality shouldn't even be an argument--it should simply be an assumption for any RPG that wants to stay relevant in the 21st century.
104340961 wrote:
Pine trees didn't unanimously decide one day that leaves were gauche.
http://community.wizards.com/doctorbadwolf/blog/2012/01/10/how_we_can_help_make_dndnext_awesome
Females aren't the problem.
It's the relationship.  When you and your gf found a +5 vorpal scimitar, both of you are melee strikers, and one of you gets it, the other is sleeping on the couch.

It takes a very stable relationship to game with your gf.  Whether you or her are the gm or players.  I've only had one couple able to keep up, and they had been married for twenty years.
the GF who wants to be the only woman playing sounds like the trouble to me
Females aren't the problem.
It's the relationship.  When you and your gf found a +5 vorpal scimitar, both of you are melee strikers, and one of you gets it, the other is sleeping on the couch.

It takes a very stable relationship to game with your gf.  Whether you or her are the gm or players.  I've only had one couple able to keep up, and they had been married for twenty years.



Really?

Interesting. IME, this sort of issue almost never comes up. No one I've gamed with expected any special treatment when gaming.

-shrug-

maybe my friends are odd.
Skeptical_Clown wrote:
More sex and gender equality and racial equality shouldn't even be an argument--it should simply be an assumption for any RPG that wants to stay relevant in the 21st century.
104340961 wrote:
Pine trees didn't unanimously decide one day that leaves were gauche.
http://community.wizards.com/doctorbadwolf/blog/2012/01/10/how_we_can_help_make_dndnext_awesome
Ok I'm going to say something unpopular here.

I bring it up because it is often times something I see with female players more than male players but, to be clear, it is by no means limited to female players.  It is the idea of the sheltered tag-along character.

I have had several instances of females gamers who only play because their significant other plays and they don't put the same amount of effort into the game that their bf/husband does.  Again, this can totally happen with little brothers/best friends/husbands and the wife is a gamer, but I most often see this with women.  I guess we could call it the Parasite player.

The female players often go one of a few routes from there.

1) They don't care.  They are bored and distracted at table, often miss game, and cause their Host to miss game as well.  Even when they are there they don't understand the rules of the game and don't want to, but they want to be included like everyone else.  They take horribly long turns and are notoriously thin-skinned if anything doesn't go their way.

2) Regardless of experience they don't know how to player.  The Parasite can go years playing in a system and never really figure out the basics of the game.  This pulls the speed of the table down dramatically if it is ever something where the party needs the Parasite to do something.

3) They are useless without their Hosts.  I see this more in online gaming than in tabletops, but the wife player who always is protected from criticism by the presence of their hubby can be in for a very rude awakening if they ever take that attitude somewhere without them or get into any sort of competitive environment.  If their Hosts are present for the critiques they can often get more agitated than the Parasite themselves.

4) They do care about at least some part of the game and want to dominate it.  Most often I've seen this in one particular aspect: They want to make the entire story about them.  I know a local female player who is extremely difficult to deal with in any game that isn't completely focused around her character being the most important thing to the plot where everyone else plays side characters.  This can lead to a lot of cheating.  I've had a player like this get very confused when they were called out because they blatantly cheated on their stat allocations.  I've also seen a female gamer who had a DM screen +10 who just wanted to have the power of murdering all of her players (in Encounters no less).

Now all that being said I can offer up a few people as strong counterpoints.


  1. I have a local female gamer who is amazing at RP, places the social contract above her own self and basically makes every table she plays at a better place.  Her first time doing table top RPGs ever she had to be the moral compass of my table and did a phenomenal job. 

  2. Another female gamer who is amazing at RP.  She is slow at the mechanics and actually taking her turn, but her ability to be the "mother" of the party without actually being domineering at the table really sets the mood for the table.


And you can totally have female gamers, just like male gamers, be a mix of all of the above.  My wife plays at one of my tables and I will say she has aspects of the very problem I am describing (She doesn't know the rules well even though she has been playing for a couple of months and often gets bored outside of her turn and causes distractions).  But knowing where the problems lay have made this a much better experience.  The Host has to let the person they bring along sink or swim on their own.  If they do, it can become more than a Host-Parasite relationship at table.  If they don't someone will dream of the day when the Parasite isn't at table.


Edit: It is worth noting that I have 3 females that play at my saturday table.  And nobody butts heads more often because they are all female.  However I have had to kick out a problem female player from that very table.
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Every game I've played with other girls there has never been any sort of problem. I don't think you really want to strain your relationship over D&D but talk to her about it. Has she tried playing with this particular group before? If not, ask her to just try it once. Otherwise, see if there is a specific other person she might not like. It really just sounds like a problem specific to her.

And people talking about couples and gaming, I don't see any problem with that either. I play in the same games as my bf and there are several other couples who game with us in various games. 

Being a female or being in a couple doesn't make you problematic, only being a problematic person can do that.
Good lord, will you guys listen to yourselves and stop projecting your personal problems with women, onto women in general?  It makes the rest of us look bad.  (The word isn't 'females' by the way, unless you're all 'males')

People cause problems in games, not their genders, or their relationships.  If a person is problematic, it's likely that they would be problematic whether they brought their girlfriend, their boyfriend, their dog, or just their unlovely personality.

FTR, we have several women in our regular group, and none of them cause any problems that aren't caused with exactly the same frequency by men.

It's for reasons like these, that there aren't more women playing games like these.
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Good lord, will you guys listen to yourselves and stop projecting your personal problems with women, onto women in general?  It makes the rest of us look bad.  (The word isn't 'females' by the way, unless you're all 'males')

People cause problems in games, not their genders, or their relationships.  If a person is problematic, it's likely that they would be problematic whether they brought their girlfriend, their boyfriend, their dog, or just their unlovely personality.

FTR, we have several women in our regular group, and none of them cause any problems that aren't caused with exactly the same frequency by men.

It's for reasons like these, that there aren't more women playing games like these.




While yes it is true problem gamers are problems regardless of gender.  Some problems do tend to manifest more with particular genders.

On the flip side I've never had a problem with the odor of a female gamer, or had a female gamer make uncomfortable advances at a player (well actually once, but less often than males).

And yes I'm using Male-Female. 
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Good lord, will you guys listen to yourselves and stop projecting your personal problems with women, onto women in general?  It makes the rest of us look bad.  (The word isn't 'females' by the way, unless you're all 'males')

People cause problems in games, not their genders, or their relationships.  If a person is problematic, it's likely that they would be problematic whether they brought their girlfriend, their boyfriend, their dog, or just their unlovely personality.

FTR, we have several women in our regular group, and none of them cause any problems that aren't caused with exactly the same frequency by men.

It's for reasons like these, that there aren't more women playing games like these.


THANK YOU.

Before anyone feels the need to ask "do women cause trouble at the table because of x", please, first replace the word "women" with "people", and see if the question changes. If it doesn't, the problem is not with the gender, but with the person, and you should rephrase your question to reflect that. 

The Host-Parasite model is interesting, but if a player relationship devolves into that, you should really ask the Parasite player if they're spending their free time correctly. (and to be clear, this has nothing to do with gender)
To focus on the OP question: Women can be as much as a problem around the table as any other man, with various oddities to take into account. But really this is more of a problem that may be personal to your GF, does she get along with others that well? Or is it more of an issue of attention? Loyality? Does she not want to share her limelight? Personal experiences with the peopel you are getting in? E.c.t These are things that cannot be properly addressed in the forum, and is something that you will have to deal with with her directly.

Personally (as a player), I have treated woman the same as any member, even though they have been incredably short lived. I remember one person who was there for pretty much all of one session as a Priate and she had her own ship which we would use. As she was the GF's girlfriend, I intially thought there might have been some favouratism. But right on cue she spoke up to the king at the start of the quest, and aggressive nagoisated with any NPC's that dared stand in her way. While she assumed a leadership role for just one session (because she had subsquent work I believe) it was because she was the one who could lead despite knowing almost nothing about DnD. The guy who subsquently took over could speak convincingly, but had a tendency to excessively showboat and horde plot details, which killed susquent campiagns due to his tendencys. Frankly a much worse leader.

Another time in that same campiagn was a druid who had little vocational confidence, but knew the rules and her character and how to behave and actually found the artifact that we were looking for when she raided a ship. It turned out to be a fake to throw us off, but she did what not many of us were capable of doing. Thinking. New people always bring the possiblity of new, less conventional ideas. The only issue was that she had other dedications more importent, which is understandable, I have had times where I didn't show up for 8 sessions because I didn't like the campiagn and found my work much more imporent to me. If people leave, then thats fine as at least they have tried and found that it wasn't for them.

I can't really comment on more then one woman being in the group as we never had that situation, aside from the fact that debating, illogical actions still filter through the group whether they were there or not. Yes, I do agree that women can present problems due to a subcultural difficulty which may, however that should be addressed in a session zero where you discuss what you and the players should expect from this session along with the other issues of group control e.c.t Make sure everyone is on the same page.

Do not make the mistake of letting the game fix it and washing your hands of all responcability. If there is bad blood, then take the responisble parties aside and talk about it civally and all be better for it. Naturally you will be expected to see it from your gf's perspective and take her side, but if you are in a stable relationship then a simple game will simply be a test of that. It's importent that these people around your table are guests at your game, and like all guests they should be treated equally, given the oppunity to have fun at no one elses expense. If these things do flare up, then take responciablity to deal with them and hopefully it will all pan out.


In short, talk to her about it, see who your players are then figure it out what it is you need to do. If a problem turns up, nip it in the bud gently and address the issue before it destablises the group.


Personally I could care less about potical correctness, I don't believe theres anything inherently wrong with anyone playing DnD as long as they recongise the fun is to be shared around the table.

The Host-Parasite model is interesting, but if a player relationship devolves into that, you should really ask the Parasite player if they're spending their free time correctly. (and to be clear, this has nothing to do with gender)



Right, and to be clear it wasn't meant to be a female only thing (I specifically mentioned this in the post). The only thing I was saying is that the problem players that are also female tend to exhibit certain problems.  Just like the problem players who are also male tend to exhibit certain problems.  There is overlap, but there is also weighting to one side or the other.
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Right, and to be clear it wasn't meant to be a female only thing (I specifically mentioned this in the post). The only thing I was saying is that the problem players that are also female tend to exhibit certain problems.  Just like the problem players who are also male tend to exhibit certain problems.  There is overlap, but there is also weighting to one side or the other.


I can agree it makes sense that this kind of problem player is most often female. The hobby is dominated by men after all, and they want to share their passion with their loved ones, who often happen to be women. But D&D (just like every other hobby) isn't for everyone, so there's a chance the loved one doesn't enjoy it and starts acting like a parasite (to use your terminology). 

Two things:


  • While you did mention other groups who are also prone to parasitic behavior, I feel you missed an important one: kids. Fortunately my group of players is young enough to still be childless, but I can imagine more than one table that's had to deal with a disinterested 7 year old who gets to play because mom and/or dad do so too, and otherwise there's no game. 

  • The host-parasite thing can be applied just as easily on men who are dragged by their girlfriend into social stuff that's considered feminine. 


I think what I'm trying to say is, be careful when you say something like this about a group, because it has nothing to do with gender. I know you know that, but it bears repeating. 

I think what I'm trying to say is, be careful when you say something like this about a group, because it has nothing to do with gender. I know you know that, but it bears repeating. 



Except that it does have something to do with gender.  Certain problems are more likely to happen with one gender or the other.  Not exclusive to, just more commonly found in.

And yes the problem definately can be a man who was brought into the fold by a female gamer.  Totally happens.  Or a kid brought in by a parent, or a parent brought in by a kid.  It isn't exclusive to any one specific gender, age group or other demographic, but I've seen it most often with women.

And I gave a few examples that go against the rule, but since they didn't sink in the first time I'll give another.  Male gamer who was old school but had a habit of angrily arguing about the rules and being completely wrong.  His daughters (both early teens) were far better at the rules and figured out how to do what their dad couldn't quickly and easily.  So young and female v old and male.  Better players mechanically and role play-wise and neither problem players.

That doesn't change my other post.  Still certain problems more likely to be found in female gamers. 
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Everyone has hit at the good points I wanted to make lol so I will give some examples instead.


I have RPed with many girls in various games throughout the years and in general they have all been wonderful, many times outshining the men in the groups in terms of RP and investment.


NOW TO THE OP


Dungeon Master and Girlfriend in the same sentence is walking on very thin ice; in fact the only bad experience I’ve had with a female party member was due to her BF was the DM, and it completely ruined everything.


Here is a list of Why/What to look out for if you are traveling this dangerous road.


1-      Favoritism will always be assumed by other players (human nature)  from the DM towards the Female players (his GF) character, even if it is not happening (and if you’re a DM worth your salt it won’t happen)


2-      The personal life of the DM and his GF player corrodes itself into the game, The female player in my game got constantly mad she was getting knocked out and it led to her and her DM(bf) bickering and him being Gf-pressured to go lighter on her.

IMAGE(http://www.nodiatis.com/pub/1.jpg)


I think what I'm trying to say is, be careful when you say something like this about a group, because it has nothing to do with gender. I know you know that, but it bears repeating. 



Except that it does have something to do with gender.  Certain problems are more likely to happen with one gender or the other.  Not exclusive to, just more commonly found in.


Except that this has nothing to do with the fact that the problem players are women. The cause of this behavior is the fact that D&D is an adolescent-to-adult male-dominated hobby. So it's more likely that people that don't belong to this group, be they women, children or small green aliens, exhibit this behavior. 

It's not a woman problem, it's a "I'm-not-interested-in-this-game-but-I'll-play-because-someone-else-wants-me-to" problem. 

I think what I'm trying to say is, be careful when you say something like this about a group, because it has nothing to do with gender. I know you know that, but it bears repeating. 



Except that it does have something to do with gender.  Certain problems are more likely to happen with one gender or the other.  Not exclusive to, just more commonly found in.


Except that this has nothing to do with the fact that the problem players are women. The cause of this behavior is the fact that D&D is an adolescent-to-adult male-dominated hobby. So it's more likely that people that don't belong to this group, be they women, children or small green aliens, exhibit this behavior. 

It's not a woman problem, it's a "I'm-not-interested-in-this-game-but-I'll-play-because-someone-else-wants-me-to" problem. 



Which seems to happen more often with women than others.

And that is only one particular example.

I'm not saying "this is how all women are everywhere at all times".  I'm giving specific examples of problems I have seen at tables.  My experience has shown me that certain problems can be along gender lines.  Your mileage may vary.  But don't tell me what my experience is...
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Female gamers can be just as good as male gamers.  They tend to bring a different skill set to the table and tend to bring their own types of issues with them as well.  Its a mixed bag.  Not all bad, not all good.

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I'm not saying "this is how all women are everywhere at all times".  I'm giving specific examples of problems I have seen at tables.  My experience has shown me that certain problems can be along gender lines.  Your mileage may vary.  But don't tell me what my experience is...


I'm not saying that you do, and I'm sorry if I gave the impression that I'm trying to put words in your mouth or something. I think we both made our points clear, so let's leave it at that Smile
@Svendj

Agreed.  I have no qualms with you .
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People cause problems in games, not their genders, or their relationships.  If a person is problematic, it's likely that they would be problematic whether they brought their girlfriend, their boyfriend, their dog, or just their unlovely personality.

"DM's Girlfriend" and "DM's Boyfriend" are both equally valid problems regardless of the various gender permutations involved.

However, in my experience, dogs are not particularly active roleplayers, and tend to chew up the dice.

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"I've got whole binders full of women gamers."

It's 2013, guys. Generalizing about gender, race, religion, etc. is no longer acceptable (if it ever was).

No amount of tips, tricks, or gimmicks will ever be better than simply talking directly to your fellow players to resolve your issues.
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1-      Favoritism will always be assumed by other players (human nature)  from the DM towards the Female players (his GF) character, even if it is not happening (and if you’re a DM worth your salt it won’t happen)


2-      The personal life of the DM and his GF player corrodes itself into the game, The female player in my game got constantly mad she was getting knocked out and it led to her and her DM(bf) bickering and him being Gf-pressured to go lighter on her.




Yikes. Guess I'm not very tolerant of things I consider bad behavior, and am really lucky with my wife and friends.

Any GF I've had that tried to pressure me into doing anything that I didn't want to do has been warned once, and then dumped if she did it a second time. No exceptions. I forget that other people aren't so unforgiving about such things.

And anyone that my group thought was giving special treatment would be under some serious group pressure to knock it off.

"I've got whole binders full of women gamers."

It's 2013, guys. Generalizing about gender, race, religion, etc. is no longer acceptable (if it ever was).



Nice.



Skeptical_Clown wrote:
More sex and gender equality and racial equality shouldn't even be an argument--it should simply be an assumption for any RPG that wants to stay relevant in the 21st century.
104340961 wrote:
Pine trees didn't unanimously decide one day that leaves were gauche.
http://community.wizards.com/doctorbadwolf/blog/2012/01/10/how_we_can_help_make_dndnext_awesome
My experience is that female players aren't any more or less trouble than anyone else, no matter how many you have, but the male players who try to do everything to impress female players are trouble.  And by "players" I mean DMs too.  Matter of fact, when I've played, it's more often been the DM who kisses up to the female than any of the other players.

Sounds like your girlfriend is the one who's trouble in this situation.  Tell her if she can't put her big girl panties on and handle gaming with other women, you'll be happy to play with her in another game where she can be the sole female and she can sit this one out.

Don't let her, or anyone else, tell you who you can or can't play D&D with.  If they don't like it, they don't have to play. 



As a female player, I agree. This applies to both men and women at the table. 
Half of my players are female. One of them is my fiancee.

I've never had any issues stemming from them being female. No one has received special treatment. We all have a lot of fun.

So ... I'm gonna say this really isn't a girl/guy issue, its a maturity issue, if it is even an issue at all.
I've had good female gamers and not so good female gamers.  A problem gamer tends to be the player not the gender.  There does seem to be a tendency amoung some to chalk up problems with a female player due to her gender rather than it being one of the many problems that one has with any other male gamer that occur regularly
Here are the more common characteristics I've seen/experienced when it comes to female gamers. As a preface, I think "everyone's equal" is bologna, and enjoy the differences the sexes bring to the table, good and bad.

1. Passivity. Females are more commonly the shrinking violets of the table. This is good and bad. Good because they're typically very accommodating in this mode and willing to go with flow. Bad because lurkers of the table aren't particularly interesting, and whenever the time for confrontation comes (IC or OOC) they tend to...well, shrink.

2. Different kind of self-aggrandizement based on sex appeal. My sister haaates this one, and it's funny to hear her rant about this. We've both met a lot of girl roleplayers. I'll try and paraphrase what she said: "They play this character who is suuuper sexy, flipping their hair and such. They also faint a lot and like to get rescued by their equally sexy love interest." I've seen trace amounts of this, but not as much as my sister. Strangely, I haven't seen a male corollary. I would've expected a dumb action hero with big pecs and a giant...well, you know. But nope, hasn't happened yet.

3. The least defensible one is the crunch/math aversion, if my DM is an example. Bless her, she's tenacious, but adding up all those dice wears on her at times. I say least defensible because most girls that I've seen are relatively new to whatever game we're playing; meeting a seasoned veteran girl gamer is rare.

4. Joint problem, but the worst offender is the boyfriend girlfriend combo. You know how it is; someone gets into a relationship, and all their hobbies and friendships fall by the wayside while they attend to whatever it is the other needs. Look dude, I know your girlfriend is super depressed or whatever, but we still have another 90 minutes to go. She'll manage. Another mutation of this I've seen is where one DM often had to do scheduling to make sure problem players never got in the same room. He was really fond of one player, and not fond of his mate. Sadly, they came in pairs, so he had to bite the bullet and accept a necessary evil every time he wanted to play with the guy.

5. Best for last; this is my favorite RP story. A camp counselor was introducing some lads to RPGs, and gave them a rules-lite system that let them play whatever they could imagine. Two boys, one girl. One boy picked a dwarf that was made of metal who dual-wielded axes, and the other picked a martial arts monkey who was made of fire, including a fiery beard. The girl played a normal human girl with one power: They could show anyone what they desired most.

I just love that split. One side makes something based on rule of cool, and the other makes something genuinely interesting, if a bit Mary Sue.

Extra tidbit: Girl gamers are the only ones I've seen that dye their hair in anime colors.

"I've got whole binders full of women gamers."

It's 2013, guys. Generalizing about gender, race, religion, etc. is no longer acceptable (if it ever was).



Not entirely wrong for some generalization. Not everyone is the same, and not everyone thinks the same or will enjoy the same games styles, and gender and cultural background can and will effluence this.

most issues with women players is likely due to a conflict in play style. This can happen regardless of gender, but is sometimes harder for males to understand when it comes to women, that is some men have difficulty reading their female players. Ie women are timid wallflowers could really be, our group is immature, gruff and uncouth, and we scare mature people away (that includes most women lol) 
My experience is that female players aren't any more or less trouble than anyone else, no matter how many you have



This.

5. Best for last; this is my favorite RP story. A camp counselor was introducing some lads to RPGs, and gave them a rules-lite system that let them play whatever they could imagine. Two boys, one girl. One boy picked a dwarf that was made of metal who dual-wielded axes, and the other picked a martial arts monkey who was made of fire, including a fiery beard. The girl played a normal human girl with one power: They could show anyone what they desired most.

I just love that split. One side makes something based on rule of cool, and the other makes something genuinely interesting, if a bit Mary Sue.



Did you go to Piomingo as a kid?  Totally plausible that some other camps have done the same thing and gotten the same situation, but that happened when I introduced games to my camp...
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Though I'm fuzzy on the details, it was a story shamelessly stolen from someone else, possibly even here. If that was you, kudos.
Though I'm fuzzy on the details, it was a story shamelessly stolen from someone else, possibly even here. If that was you, kudos.



Ahh, yes I was recognizing my own story told back to me.  There goes a futile hope of mine .
Currently working on making a Dex based defender. Check it out here
Show
Need a few pre-generated characters for a one-shot you are running? Want to get a baseline for what an effective build for a class you aren't familiar with? Check out the Pregen thread here If ever you are interested what it sounds like to be at my table check out my blog and podcast here Also, I've recently done an episode on "Refluffing". You can check that out here
No. Next topic.

IMAGE(http://www.nodiatis.com/pub/8.jpg)

"I've got whole binders full of women gamers."

It's 2013, guys. Generalizing about gender, race, religion, etc. is no longer acceptable (if it ever was).



Not entirely wrong for some generalization. Not everyone is the same, and not everyone thinks the same or will enjoy the same games styles, and gender and cultural background can and will effluence this.

most issues with women players is likely due to a conflict in play style. This can happen regardless of gender, but is sometimes harder for males to understand when it comes to women, that is some men have difficulty reading their female players. Ie women are timid wallflowers could really be, our group is immature, gruff and uncouth, and we scare mature people away (that includes most women lol) 



DnD players don't understand women? Who'd've thought?
Back to Basics - A Guide to Basic Attacks You might be playing DnD wrong if... "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." Albert Einstein
No. Next topic.



If only.


were you in any of the "satyrs can only be male!" threads?


It'll get locked eventually.
Skeptical_Clown wrote:
More sex and gender equality and racial equality shouldn't even be an argument--it should simply be an assumption for any RPG that wants to stay relevant in the 21st century.
104340961 wrote:
Pine trees didn't unanimously decide one day that leaves were gauche.
http://community.wizards.com/doctorbadwolf/blog/2012/01/10/how_we_can_help_make_dndnext_awesome
It's only because there are people who are too senstive around this issue. This guy is asking advice on something his girlfriend wanted but he didn't necessaraly agree with, a simple "No, there shouldn't be any problems, and while there are some problems that could be associated with cultural issues, for mature adults like yourselves it shouldn't be any problem as while there have been times this has happened, it's dependant entirely on how you handle it. So there are only two options. If you have a lot of female friends, she may have to try it. But otherwise dont' force the issue as it may ailenate her, keeping in mind that not every person is an immensely social being and may prefer not to put up with people that make her socially unconfortable, at least intially. " Thats the question answered, job done and everyone is smiling.

Instead, we had people kissing up and knocking down, resulting in a lot of unneeded passion. In truth naither perspective was importent, merely the experiences relivent experiences (both good and bad)and the best way to resolve that. He didn't need a rather pointless debate over the matter as he only wanted help with his diffcult situation of being caught between his gf and his hobby. This isn't any different from any other quiry regarding problem players or situations in that it should be answered as neutrally minded as possible.

It's only because there are people who are too senstive around this issue. This guy is asking advice on something his girlfriend wanted but he didn't necessaraly agree with, a simple "No, there shouldn't be any problems, and while there are some problems that could be associated with cultural issues, for mature adults like yourselves it shouldn't be any problem as while there have been times this has happened, it's dependant entirely on how you handle it. So there are only two options. If you have a lot of female friends, she may have to try it. But otherwise dont' force the issue as it may ailenate her, keeping in mind that not every person is an immensely social being and may prefer not to put up with people that make her socially unconfortable, at least intially. " Thats the question answered, job done and everyone is smiling.

Instead, we had people kissing up and knocking down, resulting in a lot of unneeded passion. In truth naither perspective was importent, merely the experiences relivent experiences (both good and bad)and the best way to resolve that. He didn't need a rather pointless debate over the matter as he only wanted help with his diffcult situation of being caught between his gf and his hobby. This isn't any different from any other quiry regarding problem players or situations in that it should be answered as neutrally minded as possible.



You're new to the internet, aren't you?
As far as couples in game, the can complicate a game no more then single people can. The tables I am at usually have "a DMs wife/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend" and I have never had any problems with it. If a DM bends to the will of a player just because they are in a relationship, then that person should not be a DM. 

OP, from one guy to another, if you feel her fear is unfounded tell her so. Don't argue or get hostile, but stick to your guns if you think she is being irrational. She might get mad, she might pout, she might call you names, she might cry, but She will love you for it. If she is jealous of of girls sharing in your hobby, good. Some jealously means she values you and your relationship.
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