Homebrew Race for April Fools (PEACH) Bacon Golem

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Bacon-Forged
, Flesh Golem - Natural animate (construct)
+2 Constitution, +2 Strength/+2 Dexterity; Large
Speed 6 (cannot shift); Low-light vision; Common, Pig
+2 Endurance, +2 Perception; Undead construct; +1 Will
Food-coma, 2 hour rest 3x a day; death save, take 10 (dazed til 1st roll)

- Fat is Flavor
Add your constitution modifier to healing surge value. Add 1d8 for each surge spent during a rest.
- Mmm, Sizzle
When the golem takes fire damage from an attack, you suffer forced movement up to your speed.
Each square moved must be farther from the attacker.
If you cannot move at least half your normal speed, you grant CA until EoNT.
-Splatter
When a bacon-forged takes fire damage, it and all creatures in close burst 1 suffer Grease fire (Save Ends). While suffering from the condition, a creature takes 1d6 acid damage at the start of its turn, and smells like a cooking bacon [see Whats Cooking].

-Greasy Lil Pig
You gain a +2 to all defenses against opportunity attacks.
- What's Cooking?
The bacon golem is edible and delicious, so you take a -2 to charisma based skills.
Any hostile carnivorous creature has a strong urge to kill and consume you.
- Boar's Gore & Gorge - Encounter Attack
Effect: You move up to your speed + 2. During this movement, you can move through enemies’ spaces.
This movement provokes opportunity attacks.
Each time the golem first enters a creature’s space, you can use an MBA against that creature and Push 2 squares on a hit.
You then gain 5 temp HP multiplied by each creature hit.

81259321 wrote:
My new rule for people who are obtuse is to just assume they're purposefully trolling. It makes me less sad for humanity that way.
Your build would be better with less bacon.  Bacon is overrated.  Steak rules.

Perhaps the Bacon Golem would be more awesome if he wraps himself around a Top Sirloin Golem (Medium Rare). 

OD&D, 1E and 2E challenged the player. 3E challenged the character, not the player. Now 4E takes it a step further by challenging a GROUP OF PLAYERS to work together as a TEAM. That's why I love 4E.

"Your ability to summon a horde of celestial superbeings at will is making my ... BMX skills look a bit redundant."

"People treat their lack of imagination as if it's the measure of what's silly. Which is silly." - Noon

"Challenge" is overrated.  "Immersion" is usually just a more pretentious way of saying "having fun playing D&D."

"Falling down is how you grow.  Staying down is how you die.  It's not what happens to you, it's what you do after it happens.”

@ RedSiegfried - You take that back....  You take that back right now!  Bacon is bacon.  'Nuff said.



@jacobrh - "Bacon-Forged".......  LOLing out loud!!!!!!! 


I'm totally taking this and using it!!!!  Thanks!      

I showed my DM and he came back with:  add grease splatter if you hit it with fire. 1d6 ongoing fire damage. Sizzle.  (And you smell like bacon until you take a bath)


I showed my DM and he came back with:  add grease splatter if you hit it with fire. 1d6 ongoing fire damage. Sizzle.  (And you smell like bacon until you take a bath)


So like, adding into the sizzle some splatter? "-Mmm, Sizzle: ___... Splatter: When a bacon-forged takes fire damage, all creatures in a burst 1 take 1d6 ongoing fire damage (save ends) and smell like bacon (bath ends)[see Whats Cooking]"?

PEACH BACON...



Laughing I laughed my butt off for 5 minutes when I saw this with Homer's face. Thanks for the humor.
I come from char-op, but they don't usually like homebrew or houseruled things.
PEACH means Please Examine And Critique Honestly.
81259321 wrote:
My new rule for people who are obtuse is to just assume they're purposefully trolling. It makes me less sad for humanity that way.