Annoyingly goofy player

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My husband and I just recently started playing D&D again after a long hiatus. It took a while to get a group together, but now we have 6 players and a DM and I was totally hyped to start playing. But things aren't going so well. 

One of the players just plain refuses to roll play sensibly. He's come up with this outlandish character that would be more at home in a Looney Tunes cartoon. Everything has to be a joke to him, and this character does goofy stuff nonstop to the point of filling up about 50% of the game with nonsense. Imagine a character getting drunk and attacking a tree. Now imagine that character doing nothing but stupid stuff like that and interrupting other characters to goof off. It got old after about 5 minutes. Unfortunately one of the other guys in the group has never played D&D before, so he thinks this is normal. Now we have one ridiculous character trying to hijack the game, and another trying to emulate him. I want to have fun and not be game-obsessed, but this goes way beyond my tolerance level. I'm ready to snap. 

Ideally the DM would talk to him about it, but this guy has a history of rage quitting games when he can't have his way. I'm sensing he has some personality issues and has a need to constantly be the center of attention, but can't accept even gentle criticism. Plus, the new guy and one other guy are his friends, and if we booted him we'd probably lose all three of them and the group would soon evaporate.  

So far I don't feel like this group has even played any real D&D - more like an annoying parody of D&D. I can't get into character with this going on and it feels like a waste of time. Do you think it's even worth salvaging this group, or should we just start from scratch with a different group of people? Keeping in mind it took a couple of years just to get this group together.
Step Number One:  Talk to the player about the problem. 

Tell him how you feel about it calmly and honestly.  Just remember it's just a game so have this discussion in an appropriate manner for two people who spend their spare time pretending to be elves.  ;)  Ask him if he'd be willing to meet you at least half way and tone it down and/or not hog most of the spotlight.  Listen to what he has to say too and be willing to think about changing the way you play too.  

If he doesn't change enough to suit your preferences for the way you want to play, or at least compromise with you, you then have two choices:  either put up with it or politely bow out and find a group that is more suited to your playstyle.

OD&D, 1E and 2E challenged the player. 3E challenged the character, not the player. Now 4E takes it a step further by challenging a GROUP OF PLAYERS to work together as a TEAM. That's why I love 4E.

"Your ability to summon a horde of celestial superbeings at will is making my ... BMX skills look a bit redundant."

"People treat their lack of imagination as if it's the measure of what's silly. Which is silly." - Noon

"Challenge" is overrated.  "Immersion" is usually just a more pretentious way of saying "having fun playing D&D."

"Falling down is how you grow.  Staying down is how you die.  It's not what happens to you, it's what you do after it happens.”

It sounds like you didn't sit down with the group for a good Session Zero prior to actually playing in which everyone discusses and comes to a consensus on the game expectations. They may not be aware that sort of behavior is not what was expected by other players at the table. If you haven't had a Session Zero, suggest to the DM that the group may benefit from one.

During this conversation, you'll want to hit on the tone of the game, the themes to be explored, the setting, the types of adventures preferred, the party and its history/purpose, the characters and their bonds, and what level of in-character interaction you're hoping for. Strive for a way to include all interests as best as possible. When you've all reached agreement, resume play from that point, as agreed.

This is also just a guess, but I'd wager there isn't enough compelling action or tension in the games so far to keep everyone's attention. This is a common problem, especially among groups trying to get a feel for things. There are ways to work on that (and Session Zero helps identify what things to work on), but that's more DM advice than player advice. 

In any event, the lesson learned here is you should directly address these things head on, outside the context of the game, and with an expectation of reasonable compromise from all. Good luck!

No amount of tips, tricks, or gimmicks will ever be better than simply talking directly to your fellow players to resolve your issues.
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I have a player somewhat like this. He's not as bad as your describing, but he's got the same problem. Goofy stuff I feel is tolerable to a degree, and for those players who have a hard time doing serious things need to have instances where it's just not fun for him. There are a few things you could try.

1) Have the tree attack him. Maybe he got drunk enough to the point where he's actually facing a solo monster alone because everyone else thinks it's a tree. This is where having a Co-DM or an Assistant DM can come in handy. This way the party can continue with the story and when Goofy is done being stupid he can join too.

2) Make goofy a part of the setting. When stupid **** just happens in this world all the time, people will get sick of it, let the other players in on it and have a pissing contest of stupidity. Maybe he'll get it out of his system.

3) Give him a plot that he can't ignore. A lot of the time the best cure to anything related to entertainment is just offer a better product. Being stupid with friends is fun, but an awesome story with friends is better. Do a little research into the guy and find out what his favorite shows and books are and try to give him something he might like. Getting him invested into the character and into the plot is your best bet.

Or you could just talk with him yourself. If he's that bad, and if he’s that crazy and emotional, maybe it's best to just have a sit down. When I have a player that is unruly, I take a vote when he's not around or ask him to leave the room and see what the other players think. I talk over the options, see what the rest of the group thinks and find a solution that is reasonable. Then sit him down one on one, explain the situation, tell him what the group decided, and try and help him improve his behavior. Honestly there are other players around, and if you lose the guy, so what, if he wasn’t going to change then you and a few others weren’t going to have a good time anyway.


Hope that helps! And good luck to you!

I don't feel comfortable talking to him about it, but I will talk to the DM again and ask him to talk to the guy. I watched someone confront him once during a MTG game, and he went ballistic! People were yelled at, stuff was thrown around the room, not a pretty sight. He's a rage quitter with emphasis on the rage.

We did have an informal pre-game session, but guess who didn't show up?

I guess I have a lower tolerance level for idiocy than most people, but by the end of the last session everyone but the jokester and his sidekick were getting frustrated. The problem really lies with the DM being too weak and letting this guy dominate everything. But it must be hard to DM someone who doesn't want to listen.  
Just remember that no gaming > bad gaming. Good luck!
I don't feel comfortable talking to him about it, but I will talk to the DM again and ask him to talk to the guy. I watched someone confront him once during a MTG game, and he went ballistic! People were yelled at, stuff was thrown around the room, not a pretty sight. He's a rage quitter with emphasis on the rage.

Right, so now you've listed two good reasons not to game with him.

Talking about this is the only way that stands a chance of getting this guy to change so that you can stay in the game and enjoy it. Yes, it probably stands a chance of triggering his rage, but anything else you might try to do to change him, such as stonewalling him or confronting him in-game is likely to be ineffective or cause a worse reaction AND be ineffective.

If you don't want to talk to him, then the only thing you can hope to change is yourself. If you can't tolerate the guy, and I doubt I could, your only other option is to leave the group. As svendj says, no gaming is better than bad gaming, but it's also pretty easy these days to set up or find other groups to play with, through conventions, game stores and sites like meetup.com. Online gaming, via skype or email also works quite well.

We did have an informal pre-game session, but guess who didn't show up?

Next time, make it a formal session and make it a prerequisite for playing.

I guess I have a lower tolerance level for idiocy than most people, but by the end of the last session everyone but the jokester and his sidekick were getting frustrated. The problem really lies with the DM being too weak and letting this guy dominate everything. But it must be hard to DM someone who doesn't want to listen.  

DMs actually have very little control over players. The only mature and effective way to get them to change is to talk to them, and even that's not very effective.

Good luck.

If I have to ask the GM for it, then I don't want it.

Thanks for all of the advice. I really do appreciate it. Yeah, we should sit down and plan better. My first D&D group, which was very successful, had two full weeks of planning and discussion. It was probably the secret to our success.

One other option that we've talked about is changing the time we game. We're playing at my house, so it's not easy for me to quit without telling the whole group to take a hike. But if we started playing earlier in the day (which would work out better for four members of the group anyway) this guy would be at work and wouldn't be able to make it. It sounds sneaky, but I've had enough of this guy to care about how he feels at this point. 
One other option that we've talked about is changing the time we game. We're playing at my house, so it's not easy for me to quit without telling the whole group to take a hike. But if we started playing earlier in the day (which would work out better for four members of the group anyway) this guy would be at work and wouldn't be able to make it. It sounds sneaky, but I've had enough of this guy to care about how he feels at this point. 



I would only use that as a last resort.  If this guy is as rageful as you claim, stalking and harrassment could be in your future if you do this.

 

IMAGE(http://www.nodiatis.com/pub/19.jpg)

Are you really "entitled to your opinion"?
RedSiegfried wrote:
The cool thing is, you don't even NEED a reason to say yes.  Just stop looking for a reason to say no.
One other option that we've talked about is changing the time we game. We're playing at my house, so it's not easy for me to quit without telling the whole group to take a hike. But if we started playing earlier in the day (which would work out better for four members of the group anyway) this guy would be at work and wouldn't be able to make it. It sounds sneaky, but I've had enough of this guy to care about how he feels at this point. 

No, do not do this.

You and the other players who are having an issue (your husband, at least) should meet with the guy in a public place, and talk to him. Buy him lunch. It doesn't have to be personal, but you should be up-front and clear. He might be less likely to pitch a fit in public, but if he does at least you have witnesses that you were civil and he was a freak.

Do not just reschedule to avoid this guy. If he shows up, just tell him politely but firmly that he's not invited in. You get to say who gets to attend functions in your house.

If I have to ask the GM for it, then I don't want it.

One other option that we've talked about is changing the time we game. We're playing at my house, so it's not easy for me to quit without telling the whole group to take a hike. But if we started playing earlier in the day (which would work out better for four members of the group anyway) this guy would be at work and wouldn't be able to make it. It sounds sneaky, but I've had enough of this guy to care about how he feels at this point. 

No, do not do this.

You and the other players who are having an issue (your husband, at least) should meet with the guy in a public place, and talk to him. Buy him lunch. It doesn't have to be personal, but you should be up-front and clear. He might be less likely to pitch a fit in public, but if he does at least you have witnesses that you were civil and he was a freak.

Do not just reschedule to avoid this guy. If he shows up, just tell him politely but firmly that he's not invited in. You get to say who gets to attend functions in your house.

Um, did you read:
I watched someone confront him once during a MTG game, and he went ballistic! People were yelled at, stuff was thrown around the room, not a pretty sight. He's a rage quitter with emphasis on the rage.

Talking to him in a public place...not necessarily a good idea Surprised

 

IMAGE(http://www.nodiatis.com/pub/19.jpg)

Are you really "entitled to your opinion"?
RedSiegfried wrote:
The cool thing is, you don't even NEED a reason to say yes.  Just stop looking for a reason to say no.
Um, did you read:

It comes across as very condescending to start a sentence with "um."

I watched someone confront him once during a MTG game, and he went ballistic! People were yelled at, stuff was thrown around the room, not a pretty sight. He's a rage quitter with emphasis on the rage.

Talking to him in a public place...not necessarily a good idea

It's a perfect idea. If he's in a private place he can get away with that kind of thing, and use it to intimidate others. If he's in a public place, they can toss him out or call the cops if he's disruptive, and there are clear limits on what this guy is going to be allowed to do. If someone yells and throws things, there's no way to know (and they want you to worry) whether or not they're going to escalate to direct physical abuse. In public, at least there are witnesses and authorities.

If I have to ask the GM for it, then I don't want it.

I don't feel comfortable talking to him about it, but I will talk to the DM again and ask him to talk to the guy. I watched someone confront him once during a MTG game, and he went ballistic! People were yelled at, stuff was thrown around the room, not a pretty sight. He's a rage quitter with emphasis on the rage.

You still need to talk to him anyway.  Why are you afraid of him?  If he ragequits, problem solved.  He sounds like kind of a jerk anyway so if he does that, who cares what he thinks?  More importantly, you sound like you need to learn to handle confrontation.  Not that this needs to be a shouting match ... I suspect you're being paranoid about how upset he'll get and looking for excuses not to talk to him.  Everything will be fine.  Don't be afraid to talk to people when you have a problem with something they're doing.  Don't make your husband do it, don't make the DM do it, don't make your mommy do it.  Just do it, and be prepared to listen and compromise if need be, and expect the same of them.
I guess I have a lower tolerance level for idiocy than most people, but by the end of the last session everyone but the jokester and his sidekick were getting frustrated. The problem really lies with the DM being too weak and letting this guy dominate everything. But it must be hard to DM someone who doesn't want to listen.

So now it's the DM's fault too?  You claim you have a lower idiocy tolerance than most.  Well, chill out then.  Also, someone IS being weak ... you need to step up and talk to the people you have problems with (the player and the DM).  Be strong.  Take responsibility for making the game better for everyone and just do it.
Thanks for all of the advice. I really do appreciate it. Yeah, we should sit down and plan better. My first D&D group, which was very successful, had two full weeks of planning and discussion. It was probably the secret to our success.

Good job.  Always do that.
One other option that we've talked about is changing the time we game. We're playing at my house, so it's not easy for me to quit without telling the whole group to take a hike. But if we started playing earlier in the day (which would work out better for four members of the group anyway) this guy would be at work and wouldn't be able to make it. It sounds sneaky, but I've had enough of this guy to care about how he feels at this point. 

Don't be so passive aggressive.  Talk to the player and talk to the DM about how you feel.  If you can't do this, that doesn't indicate healthy behavior on your part.  What's the worst that can happen?  Someone gets mad at you?  So what?  If they can't handle listening to you explain how you don't like what's going on and would like things to change, that's THEIR problem, not yours.  And since you're playing at your house, if they want to be jerks about it, kick them out on their butts and find new players.

If you were a man I'd tell you to "man up."  Talk to the player and the DM, tell them why you're not having fun, ask them to change, and be willing to compromise if that make sense.  Be calm and patient, but firm.  You'll be glad you did!

OD&D, 1E and 2E challenged the player. 3E challenged the character, not the player. Now 4E takes it a step further by challenging a GROUP OF PLAYERS to work together as a TEAM. That's why I love 4E.

"Your ability to summon a horde of celestial superbeings at will is making my ... BMX skills look a bit redundant."

"People treat their lack of imagination as if it's the measure of what's silly. Which is silly." - Noon

"Challenge" is overrated.  "Immersion" is usually just a more pretentious way of saying "having fun playing D&D."

"Falling down is how you grow.  Staying down is how you die.  It's not what happens to you, it's what you do after it happens.”

Um, did you read:

It comes across as very condescending to start a sentence with "um."



I apologize, I did not mean it that way.

 

IMAGE(http://www.nodiatis.com/pub/19.jpg)

Are you really "entitled to your opinion"?
RedSiegfried wrote:
The cool thing is, you don't even NEED a reason to say yes.  Just stop looking for a reason to say no.
Um, did you read:

It comes across as very condescending to start a sentence with "um."

I apologize, I did not mean it that way.

Thanks. No harm done.

If I have to ask the GM for it, then I don't want it.

I don't feel comfortable talking to him about it, but I will talk to the DM again and ask him to talk to the guy. I watched someone confront him once during a MTG game, and he went ballistic! People were yelled at, stuff was thrown around the room, not a pretty sight. He's a rage quitter with emphasis on the rage.


If this is true you probably shouldn't be around this guy at all. Let alone playing a many hour regular game with him.


The only options you have are to follow this flow chart.



  1. Tell him to stop yourself. Don't filter it through others. Have the conversation like rational adults. One of the two of you will come around to the others point of view. If this fails move on to 2.

  2. Tell him to stop coming to the game. (Being at your house you have a pretty good say on this one) If this fails (they move the game to someone else's house) go to 3.

  3. Stop going to the games. 

Anything else you can do will probably make it worse. Maybe not right away and maybe not for months or years, but it won't end well. 

"In a way, you are worse than Krusk"                               " As usual, Krusk comments with assuredness, but lacks the clarity and awareness of what he's talking about"

"Can't say enough how much I agree with Krusk"        "Wow, thank you very much"

"Your advice is the worst"


The only options you have are to follow this flow chart.



  1. Tell him to stop yourself. Don't filter it through others. Have the conversation like rational adults. One of the two of you will come around to the others point of view. If this fails move on to 2.

  2. Tell him to stop coming to the game. (Being at your house you have a pretty good say on this one) If this fails (they move the game to someone else's house) go to 3.

  3. Stop going to the games. 

Anything else you can do will probably make it worse. Maybe not right away and maybe not for months or years, but it won't end well. 



I'm going to follow number 2 and tell him to stop coming. I've know this guy, on and off, for a few years, and he isn't going to change no matter who talks to him. At least one of the others will probably go with him, maybe the whole group will fold. Who knows. But this isn't really fun for anyone except for him.

Someone up above in the thread was mad at me for blaming the DM. It really is partially his fault. He even complains about this guy ruining the campaign, and honestly I believe that it's the DM's job to sort out these gaming issues and not another player. The DM was present when this idiotic character was rolled, and just let it slide. It should have been nipped in the bud. Not that it would have probably made a difference in this case. When I heard this guy was going to be part of our group I cringed at the idea, because of the prior experience. The DM knows him too, and just decided that he deserved a chance. He's had his chance.
I'm going to follow number 2 and tell him to stop coming. I've know this guy, on and off, for a few years, and he isn't going to change no matter who talks to him. At least one of the others will probably go with him, maybe the whole group will fold. Who knows. But this isn't really fun for anyone except for him.

Good for you, and good luck.

Someone up above in the thread was mad at me for blaming the DM. It really is partially his fault. He even complains about this guy ruining the campaign, and honestly I believe that it's the DM's job to sort out these gaming issues and not another player.

The DM is a rules arbiter, not anyone's boss in the real world. Anyone could have and should have stepped up. It's good to see that you are.

If I have to ask the GM for it, then I don't want it.

Someone up above in the thread was mad at me for blaming the DM. It really is partially his fault. He even complains about this guy ruining the campaign, and honestly I believe that it's the DM's job to sort out these gaming issues and not another player.

The DM is a rules arbiter, not anyone's boss in the real world. Anyone could have and should have stepped up. It's good to see that you are.

Agreed.  The DM is just the referee for your game.  He can't be held responsible for the behavior of others at the table.  People have to police their own neighborhoods, so to speak, and that is no more or less the responsiblity of the DM than it is anyone else's.

I would have at least talked to the guy first before asking him not to come anymore instead of dodging that discussion, because I don't think that's a forthright way of handling it and I think it would be preferable to losing other members of the group, but it's your house and your prerogative to handle the situation however you want.  Hopefully you won't draw ire from other members of the group for kicking the guy out of your house without at least giving him a chance to change, but it sounds like the rest of the group won't miss him much either.  At least give him the respect of uninviting him yourself.  Don't dump that responsiblity on someone else, because it's not fun. 

My guess though, is that uninviting him is going to cause more bad feelings than if you had simply had a talk with him about being more serious in the game and seeing how that played out.  Honesty is the best policy.

OD&D, 1E and 2E challenged the player. 3E challenged the character, not the player. Now 4E takes it a step further by challenging a GROUP OF PLAYERS to work together as a TEAM. That's why I love 4E.

"Your ability to summon a horde of celestial superbeings at will is making my ... BMX skills look a bit redundant."

"People treat their lack of imagination as if it's the measure of what's silly. Which is silly." - Noon

"Challenge" is overrated.  "Immersion" is usually just a more pretentious way of saying "having fun playing D&D."

"Falling down is how you grow.  Staying down is how you die.  It's not what happens to you, it's what you do after it happens.”

By the op's tone they are aquantances at best not friends.  If he was a friend I would certainly feel more comfortable broaching the subject of the game play

There does seem to be some insinuation of blame directed at the op that they should be more proactive with the problem player.  I certainly wouldn't waste my time trying to encourage someone I don't really know, who has reacted poorly in the past and hasn't even extended me the courtesy of even trying to fit in with the rest of the group 

I would expect the dm to take a lead role in a game.  As the nominal authoritiy or referee their words hold more weight on what is acceptable or permissable.


Sometimes it can be interesting to work out sillyness through roleplaying your frustration in-character. Maybe your no-nonsense paladin threatens to kick him out of the adventuring party for unprofessional conduct, or your irritable dwarf barbarian makes an attack role against him because his antics flipped your berserker rage (PvP should be filtered through the DM's mouth so the other player doesn't know you're choosing to attack him).

But in this specific case it sounds like this guy is not fun and likely won't change. Booting him from the group early will avoid any outbursts from him at the table. Also let the players who are his friends know that they're still welcome to keep playing.

-Will, Digital Artist

By the op's tone they are aquantances at best not friends.  If he was a friend I would certainly feel more comfortable broaching the subject of the game play




Exactly. He's a friend-of-a-friend, and not someone I hang out with. I was unhappy that he was even invited into the game, by the mutual friend, without being consulted first since this is my house. The last time he was at my house was that very unpleasant incident during a MTG group game. The stuff he threw in rage was thrown across my living room.

I'm going to ask him not to come anymore, but I'm going to wuss out and do it through Facebook. Then I'm going to change the group time to earlier in the day. That time really does work out better, and it also means it's less likely this guy will show up randomly. Plus, if he and his other friend want to hang out, they can do that later in the day when we get done.
One other option that we've talked about is changing the time we game. We're playing at my house, so it's not easy for me to quit without telling the whole group to take a hike. But if we started playing earlier in the day (which would work out better for four members of the group anyway) this guy would be at work and wouldn't be able to make it. It sounds sneaky, but I've had enough of this guy to care about how he feels at this point. 



I would only use that as a last resort.  If this guy is as rageful as you claim, stalking and harrassment could be in your future if you do this.



I actually had this happen with a friend who got bent out of shape during a game, which led to an out-of-game confrontation and him calling and texting me dozens of times a day for months after I told him I didn't want to talk to him anymore. Obviously we aren't friends anymore, and gaming was just the match the struck the fuse with this guy.

I'm glad I could help, but...



Someone up above in the thread was mad at me for blaming the DM. It really is partially his fault. He even complains about this guy ruining the campaign, and honestly I believe that it's the DM's job to sort out these gaming issues and not another player. The DM was present when this idiotic character was rolled, and just let it slide. It should have been nipped in the bud.

While it is the DMs fault, you share equal blame. You were also present when he first introduced his character and had just as much of a chance to shoot it down. You both should have spoken up and said something the first time it was even presented as an idea. By not speaking up against it, you implied it was OK. The DM made the same mistake, and shares blame but the idea that you don't need to take ownership is totally wrong.


Its not the DMs job to ensure your enjoyment, and if you don't voice your opinions no one else can or should be expected to do it for you. 

"In a way, you are worse than Krusk"                               " As usual, Krusk comments with assuredness, but lacks the clarity and awareness of what he's talking about"

"Can't say enough how much I agree with Krusk"        "Wow, thank you very much"

"Your advice is the worst"


While it is the DMs fault, you share equal blame. You were also present when he first introduced his character and had just as much of a chance to shoot it down. You both should have spoken up and said something the first time it was even presented as an idea. By not speaking up against it, you implied it was OK. The DM made the same mistake, and shares blame but the idea that you don't need to take ownership is totally wrong.

Its not the DMs job to ensure your enjoyment, and if you don't voice your opinions no one else can or should be expected to do it for you. 




Yes, I should have spoken up. What I did do - while he was rolling his character - was nudge the DM under the table with my foot to grab his attention, and when he looked at me I rolled my eyes and gave him a "You're going to put up with this? Really??" kind of look. I don't think he wanted a confrontation either, even though he was thinking the same thing as me. We're a bunch of babies! lol


I don't think its the place of one player to tell another player what they can or can't play.  This forum has no shortage of threads about players playing the character they want or who feel pressured to play something other than what they want to play.

I don't blame KrayvenJest for feeling unhappy about having to tell someone to take a hike they didn't want to be gaming with in the first place.
I don't think its the place of one player to tell another player what they can or can't play.  



What if that player is trying to play an elf child with a drinking problem who wears a Halloween costume for no apparent reason? I mean, this character was not only stupid, it didn't make any sense. 

No player should be allowed to tread on another player's creativity, unless it's obvious that player is purposely trying to be ridiculous. 
I don't think its the place of one player to tell another player what they can or can't play. 

What if that player is trying to play an elf child with a drinking problem who wears a Halloween costume for no apparent reason? I mean, this character was not only stupid, it didn't make any sense.

No player should be allowed to tread on another player's creativity, unless it's obvious that player is purposely trying to be ridiculous.

In that event, it's not about telling them what they can or can't play, but talking to them about whether the game is or isn't a good fit for them. If you block their disruptive idea, they'll just find another way to be disruptive. You have to address the root of the problem by talking to them, or by asking them to leave.

If I have to ask the GM for it, then I don't want it.

What I did do - while he was rolling his character - was nudge the DM under the table with my foot to grab his attention, and when he looked at me I rolled my eyes and gave him a "You're going to put up with this? Really??" kind of look. I don't think he wanted a confrontation either, even though he was thinking the same thing as me. We're a bunch of babies! lol

Its hard, but its a lot easier to do it up front, and in as polite a manner as possible, than it is to do it after the fact. 


I'm not advocating for anyone to lay down the law with another player and tell them they can't do something. What I am saying is you need to have a conversation with the person and come to some mutually appealing arrangement. If that can't be done one of you needs to leave. If they don't want to have a polite conversation its probably them. 

"In a way, you are worse than Krusk"                               " As usual, Krusk comments with assuredness, but lacks the clarity and awareness of what he's talking about"

"Can't say enough how much I agree with Krusk"        "Wow, thank you very much"

"Your advice is the worst"

What I did do - while he was rolling his character - was nudge the DM under the table with my foot to grab his attention, and when he looked at me I rolled my eyes and gave him a "You're going to put up with this? Really??" kind of look. I don't think he wanted a confrontation either, even though he was thinking the same thing as me. We're a bunch of babies! lol

Its hard, but its a lot easier to do it up front, and in as polite a manner as possible, than it is to do it after the fact. 

I'm not advocating for anyone to lay down the law with another player and tell them they can't do something. What I am saying is you need to have a conversation with the person and come to some mutually appealing arrangement. If that can't be done one of you needs to leave. If they don't want to have a polite conversation its probably them.


Right. Also, we were told that the player in question wasn't present for the "session 0" that was held, but while characters are being rolled (or just before) is the ideal time for such a talk, to set expectations and get everyone on the same page.

If I have to ask the GM for it, then I don't want it.

This particular player's choice of character is why it's important in my view for the DM and players to understand what blocking is and why it is bad. Blocking is when you do not accept or contradict the details of the game as established or when you say "No" to other people's ideas.

Here, this player is blocking by creating a character that is not in-line with the established themes and tone of the game. He does have something of a case, however, because he was not present at Session Zero when you discussed what the game's expectations would be. One can hardly be held to account for blocking when one has no context. And despite this, it appears nobody was willing to explain to him that his character concept was not exactly appropriate to this particular game. It's possible he might have changed had this been brought up to him directly during character creation.

No amount of tips, tricks, or gimmicks will ever be better than simply talking directly to your fellow players to resolve your issues.
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I don't think its the place of one player to tell another player what they can or can't play.  



What if that player is trying to play an elf child with a drinking problem who wears a Halloween costume for no apparent reason? I mean, this character was not only stupid, it didn't make any sense. 

No player should be allowed to tread on another player's creativity, unless it's obvious that player is purposely trying to be ridiculous. 



Lol
  It certainly would be good for a laugh.  Suitable to be roundly mocked by the rest of the group 
My husband and I just recently started playing D&D again after a long hiatus. It took a while to get a group together, but now we have 6 players and a DM and I was totally hyped to start playing. But things aren't going so well. 

One of the players just plain refuses to roll play sensibly. He's come up with this outlandish character that would be more at home in a Looney Tunes cartoon. Everything has to be a joke to him, and this character does goofy stuff nonstop to the point of filling up about 50% of the game with nonsense. Imagine a character getting drunk and attacking a tree. Now imagine that character doing nothing but stupid stuff like that and interrupting other characters to goof off. It got old after about 5 minutes. Unfortunately one of the other guys in the group has never played D&D before, so he thinks this is normal. Now we have one ridiculous character trying to hijack the game, and another trying to emulate him. I want to have fun and not be game-obsessed, but this goes way beyond my tolerance level. I'm ready to snap. 

Ideally the DM would talk to him about it, but this guy has a history of rage quitting games when he can't have his way. I'm sensing he has some personality issues and has a need to constantly be the center of attention, but can't accept even gentle criticism. Plus, the new guy and one other guy are his friends, and if we booted him we'd probably lose all three of them and the group would soon evaporate.  

So far I don't feel like this group has even played any real D&D - more like an annoying parody of D&D. I can't get into character with this going on and it feels like a waste of time. Do you think it's even worth salvaging this group, or should we just start from scratch with a different group of people? Keeping in mind it took a couple of years just to get this group together.

Are his friends willing to talk to him? Maybe he'll listen to them.

If they can't do anything with him, I suppose he's acting like a 5 year old, you could treat him like a 5 year old. He needs guidance, structure, order. Otherwise you're enabling him.

If he interrupts, the DM should simply say it isn't his turn. If he persists, he's a rude jerk and isn't worth doing anything with, much less spend precious leisure time with him.

It's not like a work environment where you have to put up with rude jerks. This is a social contract situation between two people coming together voluntarily for some mutual benefit. It is a contract that can be dissolved immediately by either party. In other words, if he continues rude and outlandish behavior, ignores fair criticism, interrupts the other players and is a general nuisance... feel free to not only cut him off of the game, but cut him off as the social pariah he is. Explain to his friends that this is a personal decision and what led you to it, and that you hope they might still be interested in playing and that their continued friendship with 'jerk' will not have any bearing on your feelings toward them.

If they choose to disassociate themselves from you based on that, chances are it's because birds of a feather will flock together. Sad that much time was wasted getting the group together (probably partially because of the immaturity of 'jerk', but that doesn't mean you can't carry on. Hopefully the other players will realize that their friend is a negative influence and will at least consider finding time for both 'jerk' and you. Hopefully jerk will mature at some point. Maybe jerk just needs some tough love.

YOU: "Ya know, you're funny and entertaining, but sometimes.... you're just too much. I prefer wit to bathroom humor. Think you can bring it up a notch? At least not interrupt other people with your, and your character's antics?"

HIM (option 1) "Really? I was just trying to liven things up. I didn't realize I was interrupting. My bad. I'm a bit of a clown, I realize, but I'll try to tone it down a bit".

HIM (option 2) "C'mon, guys! Let's go! I left you an upper-decker, btw".

For option 1, you breathe a sigh of relief, having gotten through that awkward, but necessary moment.

For option 2, you have certain legal options they forget to mention in slapstick comedy movies. Or a temporary insanity plea. Try to remain calm. Good luck finding more mature players next go-round.
A rogue with a bowl of slop can be a controller. WIZARD PC: Can I substitute Celestial Roc Guano for my fireball spells? DM: Awesome. Yes. When in doubt, take action.... that's generally the best course. Even Sun Tsu knew that, and he didn't have internets.