I'm sick to death of people coming and asking for special Critical tables. Here's the original.

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So, what's the chances of getting to run a troll?
So, what's the chances of getting to run a troll?

And so began the realm's first ever party of adventuring trolls.

The kraken stirs. And ten billion sushi dinners cry out for vengeance. - Good Omens

Co-Author of the Dreamfane, Euralden Eye, Gajuisan Crawler, Gruesome Lurker, Fulminating Crab, Ironglass Rose, Sheengrass Swarm, Spryjack, Usunag, and Warp Drifter, and author of the Magmal Horror from Force of Nature.

My most popular campaign item; for all your adventuring convenience.
Zauber's Mutable Rod: This rod has a number of useful functions that make it easier to live in the wilderness. It is made of polished wood, with five studlike buttons on one end. Each button produces a different effect when pressed. Unless otherwise noted, the rod’s functions have no limit on the number of times they can be employed. When button 1 is pressed, one end of the rod produces a small flame, equivalent to a candle. When button 2 is pressed, the rod unfolds into a two-person tent, complete with bedrolls and warm blankets. When button 3 is pressed, the rod becomes a one-handed hammer, suitable for pounding pitons into a wall. When button 4 is pressed, the rod becomes a sturdy iron spade. When button 5 is pressed, the rod becomes a wooden bucket able to hold 2 gallons of liquid. Once per day, it can be commanded to fill with fresh water. If the rod is seriously damaged or broken in any of its alternate forms (button 2, 3, 4, or 5), it reverts to its basic rod form and cannot be activated for 24 hours. Moderate conjuration; CL 9th; Craft Rod, minor creation; Price 375 gp; Weight 2 lb.
So, what's the chances of getting to run a troll?

And so began the realm's first ever party of adventuring trolls.


"We saved da princy-says!"
"Most o' hur anyways, cept dem bit's won't grow back."
"Whatcha talking 'bout? All bits grow back!"
"Not on elves dey don't."
*munch-crunch-swallow*
"Here, what you doin?!?"
"Only finishin' off dem dragon's leftovers."
"Dat's her legs ya oaf!"
"Sorry, but she wasn't usin um anymore. So I thought..."
"Dat dere's posh food! Gotta eat it with yer little finger sticken out!"
"Here, let me ave a piece!"
"Youze wana bite princess? Sees, I'm tryin' ta be polites an' such cuz I'm der troll what sings and bangs da stew pot an such."
"Here, why ain't youze bangin' it now? Wha' if some bugger jumps out from behind a bush and wants ta nab her again?"
"Cuz' I'm eaten' right now! Why don't one o' you other lot bang da pot?"
"I'm da troll with da pointy hat, sees? I ain't gonna be bangin no pot when I could be contemplanin da mysteries o' da oonivers!"
"Dat ain't no hat, it's a tree!"
"A very pointy tree an mysterious tree! What about youze den?"
"I'm der troll what's got da shiny thing dat they wave at corpses so deys quit movin! Plus I'm carryin' da weight o' da world on my shoulders!"
"Dat's der dragon what we shoved da loot into it's belly, not da world."
"Dragons is part da world, I gotta work my way up to the whole thing sees?"
Hey, I remember they had this really cool critical hit chart in AD&D... or maybe it was regular D&D.  Anyways, does anybody know where I can find that?!

*wanders off singing a Denis Leary song*
"Today's headlines and history's judgment are rarely the same. If you are too attentive to the former, you will most certainly not do the hard work of securing the latter." -Condoleezza Rice "My fellow Americans... I've just signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. Bombing begins in five minutes." - Ronald Reagan This user has been banned from you by the letters "O-R-C" and the numbers "2, 3, 4, and 6"
User Quotes
56788208 wrote:
I do, however, have one last lesson on this subject. That last one? The only build in this post that can one-shot average opponents[by dealing twice as much damage as they have HP? I would argue that it is not optimized. Why isn't it optimized? Because it's overkill. Overkill is NOT optimizing. This means that there are portions of this build dedicated to damage which can safely be removed and thrown elsewhere. For example, you probably don't need both Leap Attack AND Headlong Rush at the same time. You could pick up Extra Rage feats for stamina, feats to support AoO effects, feats that work towards potential prestige classes, and so on. However, you could also shift our ability scores around somewhat. I mean, if you're getting results like that with 16 starting Strength, maybe you can lower it to 14, and free up four points to spend somewhere else - perhaps back into Charisma, giving you some oomph for Intimidating Rage or Imperious Command if you want. You can continue to tune this until it deals "enough" damage - and that "enough" does not need to be "100%". It could easily be, say, 80% (leaving the rest to the team), if your DM is the sort who would ban one-hit killers.
Tempest_Stormwind on Character Optimization
So when do you think Bachmann will be saying she met a mother the previous night that had a son who got a blood transfusion using a gay guy's blood, and now the son is retardedly gay?
When she meets CJ's mom?
Resident Pithed-Off Dragon Poon Slayer of the House of Trolls