Diary of Klink
Cold this morning. The smog was thick, could barely see the sun. Good for me, the rust golems don’t do so good in the shade. I was able to get past them without any trouble. I don’t know if they just can’t see me in these conditions, or if they’re just too sluggish to react. Note to self: This needs testing. My hopes were true; there was an immense cache of trimmings and scrap past all the golems. I don’t know if the mean to be so predictable, but they always congregate where the best scrap is. They would be better guards if they weren’t so obvious about it. I found a nice socket wrench, about fifty units of tin, and of all things a shiny new mox. A mox! Jackpot! I can finally fix my blowtorch. It’s going to be a very productive week.
Still cold. Not cloudy. Lots of wind. Sorry for not writing lately. Been busy. I spent the last couple days fixing the blowtorch. It works like a charm now. I wanted to get started on those blue prints I pried off that pewter golem a cycle back. I have no idea what it makes, but it’s something special. It looks like I have most of the parts I need. So I plan to get started this afternoon. I just wanted to get my thoughts down before then. Good luck to me!
Less cold. Sunny. Looks like a storm on the horizon though. No concern of mine. Progress has been slow, but sure. This is an unusual project, I still have not the slightest clue what exactly I’m building. I’ve tested the thing at various points, and all the pieces move but I know not to what end. The language on the blueprints is unlike anything I’ve ever read. I could probably spend some time finding someone to decipher it for me, lord knows I needn’t stay here to do it. But I figure, why spoil the surprise, eh?
Hot. Stormy. The weather here sucks. No matter, I will not be intimidated by mere clouds! Judging by the number of blue prints, I’m about a third of the way done. I think I’m getting the swing of this. This thing, whatever it is, is heavily regimented. There’s lot of patterns and constants in its construction. This is really getting exciting! Soon I’ll be done and be able to bask in the glory of my, um, glory!
Still hot. Sunny. Bad news. While I was finding a meal a bunch of those stupid, dumb, jerkface, arsehead golems found my shop. I got back in time, but they were smashing up the thing! I was able to break them, but they did significant amount of damage to it. Discouraging yes, but I can get it all fixed in about a week. I don’t think the project is safe here. The golems don’t want me to finish this thing. I plan to move the project to one of my spare garages.
Less hot. Little sunny. I stayed up all night establishing a defensive perimeter of sentries and traps to deter the golems. Bunch of jerkfaces. If they had faces. I also made a makeshift trolly to transport the contraption. I plan to make a move during the night when the golems are all intransient.
Cool. Cloudy. Tired. Tranport took longer than I thought. The golems were weirdly active last night. I’ve never seen them so mobile at night. They were weirdly coordinated, too. They really don’t want me to finish this thing. Nuts to them!
Cold. Still cloudy. Even more tired. Didn’t sleep much last night. Couldn’t. Wanted to work on the thing. Had to set up defenses. Can’t let the golems get to it. Need to keep working.
I think it’s 138. Yeah, that’s gotta be right. Hard to tell. Not sleeping much. Need to finish the thing. Sleep is a waste of time. I’ve almost fixed all the damage the golems did in their raid. But I can’t stop there! I need to keep working.
Oh jeez, is it 142? No wait, its 143. Oh gosh, I’m losing track. The days and nights kind of bleed together, especially without sleep. Need to keep working. Its frustrating. I think I’m making progress, but I still don’t know what exactly I’m making.
Losing track of time. Head hurts. Sleepy. Weather is stupid and so is this thing. Almost done. Still can’t tell what it does. Makes lots of noise. Moves all of the things. But to what end? Angry. Stupid thing. Need to work.
So tired. Need to work. Hungry. Thirsty. The thing is almost done, but I’ve grown to resent it. What does it do. It does a lot of things when it works. Yields no results. A lot of nothing. It does nothing.
Passed out. Woke up. Found food. Water. Still feel poopy. Wretched contraption. Mocking me. So much work. So little reward. Noises. Motions. Nothing. It’s like a joke. A mean joke. A mean stupid joke. I’ve become a clown.
Hate. This. Thing. Who put these blueprints here. Why. How can something this big. This complicated. Not. Do. Anything. Stupid stupid STUPID. HATE THIS THING. SCREW YOU. WASTING MY TIME. IM DONE WITH THIS. IM THROWING MY LIFE AWAY TRYING TO MAKE YOU WORK. WELL NO MORE.
Give up. Out of blueprints. Fully built. Still does nothing. So sleepy.
Moderate. Sunny. Got a good night sleep last night. Found some food and water. Feeling better. Much better. I had an epiphany last night. I know how to make the thing work! Just wait and see. This time tomorrow that contraption will be doing whatever it was meant to do!
Oh God. I’ve done a bad thing. My idea. It worked. The contraption works. I wish it hadn’t. I’ve done a bad, bad terrible thing. I need to destroy it. If anyone finds this journal: I’m sorry. I’m so sorry sorry.
+2: Assemble a Contraption
-1: Sacrifice an artifact. That artifact deals 5 damage to target creature or player.
-7: You get an emblem with "At the beginning of your upkeep, for each contraption you control, put a token onto the battlefield that's a copy of that contraption."