Most specific card ever

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Grave Mistake
Sorcery

Destroy target creature named Thalia, Guardian of Thraben you neither own nor control. If you do, put an 8/8 Demon creature token with flying onto the battlefield.
Dies to removal. Unplayable in Constructed.
Sounds legit.

IMAGE(http://cdn.bulbagarden.net/upload/1/1c/Spr_4p_389.png)

There's more.

Tragic Defeat ()
Instant

 Destroy target attacking creature named Aurelia, the Warleader, and all other creatures controlled by its controller.
maybe if the name could be hacked somehow
NO WAR

 

Sivitri Scarzam rose to challenge the Craw Wurm but was slain by Durkwood Boars.

Liliana emergent

maybe if the name could be hacked somehow



It can't.



Provisions in the Woods
Instant

Multiply your life by 2X, where X is equal to the number of creatures named Thragtusk you neither own nor control on the battlefield.

It's high in protein. 
Hmmmm.

Illegal Assasination B
Instant

Destroy target creture that's illegal in standard.

Aren't they all? 

"PEOPLE DO THINGS FOR A REASON"

- Dave Shedden

 

Purphoros' Tokens

Dimir all the way

NO WAR

 

Sivitri Scarzam rose to challenge the Craw Wurm but was slain by Durkwood Boars.

Liliana emergent

Income Tax
Artifact
Players cannot cast mythic spells until you can afford them.    
 
Guess Which Deck My Friends Beat Me With in Casual?
Instant
Exile target creature named Skithiryx, The Blight Dragon you neither own nor control. You lose all poison counters and that creature's controller loses life equal to thrice the number of counters removed this way. Also that creature's controller is a topdecking scrub and your previous losses have nothing to do with your refusal to better yourself as a player.

Zammm = Batman.

It's my sig in a box
58280208 wrote:
Everything is better when you read it in Bane's voice.
192334281 wrote:
Your human antics and desire to continue living have moved me. Just kidding. You cannot move me physically or emotionally. Wall humor.
57092228 wrote:
Copy effects work like a photocopy machine: you get a copy of the 'naked' card, NOT of what's on it.
56995928 wrote:
Funny story: InQuest Magazine (I think it was InQuest) had an oversized Chaos Orb which I totally rooked someone into allowing into a (non-sanctioned) game. I had a proxy card that was a Mountain with "Chaos Orb" written on it. When I played it, my opponent cried foul: Him: "WTF? a Proxy? no-one said anything about Proxies. Do you even own an actual Chaos Orb?" Me: "Yes, but I thought it would be better to use a Proxy." Him: "No way. If you're going to put a Chaos Orb in your deck you have to use your actual Chaos Orb." Me: "*Sigh*. Okay." I pulled out this huge Chaos Orb and placed it on the table. He tried to cry foul again but everyone else said he insisted I use my actual Chaos Orb and that was my actual Chaos Orb. I used it, flipped it and wiped most of his board. Unsurprisingly, that only worked once and only because everyone present thought it was hilarious.
My DM on Battleminds:
no, see i can kill defenders, but 8 consecutive crits on a battlemind, eh walk it off.
144543765 wrote:
195392035 wrote:
Hi guys! So, I'm a sort of returning player to Magic. I say sort of because as a child I had two main TCG's I liked. Yu-Gi-Oh, and Pokemon. Some of my friends branched off in to Magic, and I bought two pre-made decks just to kind of fit in. Like I said, Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon were what I really knew how to play. I have a extensive knowledge of deck building in those two TCG's. However, as far as Magic is concerned, I only ever used those two pre made decks. I know how the game is played, and I know general things, but now I want to get in the game for real. I want to begin playing it as a regular. My question is, are all cards ever released from the time of the inception of this game until present day fair game in a deck? Or are there special rules? Are some cards forbidden or restricted? Thanks guys, and I will gladly accept ANY help lol.
I have the same problem with women.
117639611 wrote:
198869283 wrote:
Oh I have a standing rule. If someone plays a Planeswalker I concede the game. I refuse to play with or against people who play Planeswalkers. They really did ruin the game.
A turn two Tibalt win?! Wicked... Betcha don't see that everyday.

The Pony Co. 

Is this my new ego sig? Yes it is, other Barry
57461258 wrote:
And that's why you should never, ever call RP Jesus on being a troll, because then everyone else playing along gets outed, too, and the thread goes back to being boring.
57461258 wrote:
See, this is why RPJesus should be in charge of the storyline. The novel line would never have been cancelled if he had been running the show. Specifically the Slobad and Geth's Head talkshow he just described.
57461258 wrote:
Not only was that an obligatory joke, it was an on-topic post that still managed to be off-topic due to thread derailment. RP Jesus does it again folks.
92481331 wrote:
I think I'm gonna' start praying to Jesus... That's right, RPJesus, I'm gonna' be praying to you, right now. O' Jesus Please continue to make my time here on the forums fun and cause me to chuckle. Amen.
92481331 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
It was wonderful. Us Johnnies had a field day. That Timmy with the Grizzly bears would actually have to think about swinging into your Mogg Fanatic, giving you time to set up your silly combo. Nowadays it's all DERPSWING! with thier blue jeans and their MP3 players and their EM EM OH AR PEE JEES and their "Dewmocracy" and their children's card games and their Jersey Shores and their Tattooed Tenaged Vampire Hunters from Beverly Hills
Seriously, that was amazing. I laughed my *ss off. Made my day, and I just woke up.
[quote=ArtVenn You're still one of my favorite people... just sayin'.[/quote]
56756068 wrote:
56786788 wrote:
.....would it be a bit blasphemous if I said, "PRAYSE RPJAYSUS!" like an Evangelical preacher?
Perhaps, but who doesn't like to blaspheme every now and again? Especially when Mr. RPJesus is completely right.
56756068 wrote:
I don't say this often, but ... LOL
57526128 wrote:
You... You... Evil something... I actualy made the damn char once I saw the poster... Now you made me see it again and I gained resolve to put it into my campaign. Shell be high standing oficial of Cyrix order. Uterly mad and only slightly evil. And it'll be bad. Evil even. And ill blame you and Lizard for it :P.
57042968 wrote:
111809331 wrote:
I'm trying to work out if you're being sarcastic here. ...
Am going to stop you right there... it's RPJesus... he's always sarcastic
58335208 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
112114441 wrote:
we can only hope it gets the jace treatment...it could have at least been legendary
So that even the decks that don't run it run it to deal with it? Isn't that like the definition of format warping?
I lol'd.
56287226 wrote:
98088088 wrote:
Uktabi Orangutan What the heck's going on with those monkeys?
The most common answer is that they are what RPJesus would call "[Debutantes avert your eyes]ing."
56965458 wrote:
Show
57461258 wrote:
116498949 wrote:
I’ve removed content from this thread because off-topic discussions are a violation of the Code of Conduct. You can review the Code here: www.wizards.com/Company/About.aspx?x=wz_... Please keep your posts polite, on-topic, and refrain from making personal attacks. You are welcome to disagree with one another but please do so respectfully and constructively. If you wish to report a post for Code of Conduct violation, click on the “Report Post” button above the post and this will submit your report to the moderators on duty.
...Am I the only one that thinks this is reaching the point of downright Kafkaesque insanity?
I condone the use of the word Kafkaesque. However, I'm presentely ambivalent. I mean, that can't be serious, right? We're April 1st, right? They didn't mod RPJesus for off-topic discussion when the WHOLE THREAD IS OFF-TOPIC, right? Right.
57545908 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
Save or die. If you disagree with this, you're wrong (Not because of any points or arguements that have been made, but I just rolled a d20 for you and got a 1, so you lose).
58397368 wrote:
58222628 wrote:
This just won the argument, AFAIC.
That's just awesome.
57471038 wrote:
57718868 wrote:
HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THE BEAR PRODUCING WORDS OF WILDING?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!
That's what RPJesus tends to do. That's why I don't think he's a real person, but some Magic Card Archive Server sort of machine, that is programmed to react to other posters' comments with obscure cards that do in fact exist, but somehow missed by even the most experienced Magic players. And then come up with strange combos with said cards. All of that is impossible for a normal human to do given the amount of time he does it and how often he does it. He/It got me with Light of Sanction, which prompted me to go to RQ&A to try and find if it was even possible to do combat damage to a creature I control (in light that Mark of Asylum exists).
71235715 wrote:
+10
100176878 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
57078538 wrote:
heaven or hell.
Round 1. Lets rock.
GG quotes! RPJesus just made this thread win!
56906968 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
143359585 wrote:
Blue players get all the overpowerered cards like JTMS. I think it's time that wizards gave something to people who remember what magic is really about: creatures.
Initially yes, Wizards was married to blue. However, about a decade ago they had a nasty divorce, and a few years after that they began courting the attention of Green. Then in Worldwake they had a nasty affair with their ex, but as of Innistrad, things seem to have gotten back on track, and Wizards has even proposed.
You are my favorite. Yes you. And moments like this make it so. Thank you RPJesus for just being you.
On what flavor text fits me:
57307308 wrote:
Surely RPJesus gets Niv-Mizzet, Dracogenius?
56874518 wrote:
First: I STILL can't take you seriously with that avatar. And I can take RPJesus seriously, so that's saying something.
121689989 wrote:
I'd offer you a cookie for making me laugh but it has an Upkeep Cost that has been known to cause people to quit eating.
56267956 wrote:
I <3 you loads
57400888 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
"AINT NO LAWS IN THE SKY MOTHER****." - Agrus Kos, Wojek Veteran
10/10. Amazing.
NO COUNTERS
Sorcery
Search target player's library, hand, graveyard, deckboxes, trade binders and house and choose any number of counterspells from them. Rip those cards to shreds and toss the remains on his or her head.
Then target player tells you his or her Magic Online username and password (they have to). Search his collection and trade all his counterspell cards to buybots and use the tickets aquired this way to buy bulk rares.

IMAGE(http://i1.minus.com/jbcBXM4z66fMtK.jpg)

192884403 wrote:
surely one can't say complex conditional passive language is bad grammar ?
NO COUNTERS
Sorcery
Search target player's library, hand, graveyard, deckboxes, trade binders, house and choose any number of counterspells from them. Rip those cards to shreds and toss the remains on his or her head.
Then target player tells you his or her Magic Online username and password (they have to). Search his collection and trade all his counterspell cards to buybots and use the tickets aquired this way to buy bulk rares.


You forgot cards in their seasonal dwellings. Also personal lockers and bank vaults. That's a very abusable loophole.
They can keep those in their bank vault, didn't want to create a magic card that helped players break into banks.

IMAGE(http://i1.minus.com/jbcBXM4z66fMtK.jpg)

192884403 wrote:
surely one can't say complex conditional passive language is bad grammar ?
That which is asserted without evidence can be disregarded without evidence, bitch
Instant

Each player gets an emblem with "All cards you own lose Miracle". 
lol at RP Jesus totally made me laugh...alot
You are Red/Blue!
You are Red/Blue!
Take The Magic Dual Colour Test - Beta today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.
You are both rational and emotional. You value creation and discovery, and feel strongly about what I create. At best, you're innovative and intuitive. At worst, you're scattered and unpredictable.
Torrent -- :UM:
Sorcery (R)

Remove all blaze counters from burning lands.

Official archnemesis of magicpablo666 Host of Reactionary Proud owner of "The Terrible Cube" The altimis Archive I'm baking lands!!! Beginner of GROMA
Notable Quotables:
58060728 wrote:
I carefully examine the walls of the room in a determined effort to not follow the GMs plot.
Defend The Fireheart-
Instant
Counter target spell named Torrent.
"...And to this day, the land continues to burn."~Tales of the Inferno

 

120.6. Some effects replace card draws.

 

why are you here when NGA exists and is just better

Drizzle -- :UM:
Enchantment (U)

Creatures that burn things lose all abilities.

Grok was confused. Normally fires burned things in mist, but not this mist?
Official archnemesis of magicpablo666 Host of Reactionary Proud owner of "The Terrible Cube" The altimis Archive I'm baking lands!!! Beginner of GROMA
Notable Quotables:
58060728 wrote:
I carefully examine the walls of the room in a determined effort to not follow the GMs plot.
My Fireheart Will Go On-
Enchanment-Aura
Enchant creature named Obsidian Fireheart
Enchanted creature has ": Put a blaze counter on target land without a blaze counter on it. For as long as that land has a blaze counter on it, it has "At the beginning of your upkeep, this land deals 1 damage to you." (The land continues to burn after Obsidian Fireheart has left the battlefield.)"

120.6. Some effects replace card draws.

 

why are you here when NGA exists and is just better

Hurry the Hell Up!
Sorcery

Take X extra turns after this one, where X is the number of filibuster counters on permanents you neither own nor control. 
My Fireheart Will Go On-
Enchanment-Aura
Enchant creature named Obsidian Fireheart
Enchanted creature has ": Put a blaze counter on target land without a blaze counter on it. For as long as that land has a blaze counter on it, it has "At the beginning of your upkeep, this land deals 1 damage to you." (The land continues to burn after Obsidian Fireheart has left the battlefield.)"




Cry on the Outside -- :UM:
Sorcery (U)

Exile all enchantments on red creatures with abilities.

Chuck Norris's tears cure burning. Of course, for Firehearts, that's an illness.
Official archnemesis of magicpablo666 Host of Reactionary Proud owner of "The Terrible Cube" The altimis Archive I'm baking lands!!! Beginner of GROMA
Notable Quotables:
58060728 wrote:
I carefully examine the walls of the room in a determined effort to not follow the GMs plot.
Dude, I want My Mind Aglow :U:
Spells that would counter an instant or sorcery spell that would cause more than one player to draw one or more cards if it they were to resolve, are uncounterable.
"I mean why not counter Cindy's spells? She's got a board full of creatures, Jimmy's playing a friggen' hugs decks for god's sake. Jeez Frank, you're such a jerk." - Michelle
My Fireheart Will Go On-
Enchanment-Aura
Enchant creature named Obsidian Fireheart
Enchanted creature has ": Put a blaze counter on target land without a blaze counter on it. For as long as that land has a blaze counter on it, it has "At the beginning of your upkeep, this land deals 1 damage to you." (The land continues to burn after Obsidian Fireheart has left the battlefield.)"




Cry on the Outside -- :UM:
Sorcery (U)

Exile all enchantments on red creatures with abilities.

Chuck Norris's tears cure burning. Of course, for Firehearts, that's an illness.


that's not specific at all. you can put enchantments on all sorts of red creatures with abilities!

 

120.6. Some effects replace card draws.

 

why are you here when NGA exists and is just better

My Fireheart Will Go On-
Enchanment-Aura
Enchant creature named Obsidian Fireheart
Enchanted creature has ": Put a blaze counter on target land without a blaze counter on it. For as long as that land has a blaze counter on it, it has "At the beginning of your upkeep, this land deals 1 damage to you." (The land continues to burn after Obsidian Fireheart has left the battlefield.)"




Cry on the Outside -- :UM:
Sorcery (U)

Exile all enchantments on red creatures with abilities.

Chuck Norris's tears cure burning. Of course, for Firehearts, that's an illness.


that's not specific at all. you can put enchantments on all sorts of red creatures with abilities!

 


Well it's fairly specific, just not Fireheart specific.
The more versatile your card is, the less it belongs here.

Stuff yo doll in your face
Enchantment.

Cards that have "13 damage" in their text cannot be cast.
Destitution
Sorcery
Target player that controls exactly one permanent and has no cards in hand loses the game.
No Lands For You! -- :WM::UM:
Enchantment (R)

Legendary creatures lose phasing.

Official archnemesis of magicpablo666 Host of Reactionary Proud owner of "The Terrible Cube" The altimis Archive I'm baking lands!!! Beginner of GROMA
Notable Quotables:
58060728 wrote:
I carefully examine the walls of the room in a determined effort to not follow the GMs plot.
The Choice is Yours
Enchantment
If a creature you control would make a choice, you make that choice instead.

Greater Wall
Enchantment
Creatures with plainswalk you control have Great Wallwalk.

Yxoque wrote:
This forum can't even ****ing self-destruct properly.

IMAGE(http://img.pokemondb.net/sprites/black-white/anim/normal/plusle.gif)

adjusted this one

Curious Sphinx Creature Sphinx Cat
flying
Echo
reveal the top card of your library. If that card has a creature type that does not share a creature type with any card in play, draw the card.
"give me another answer"
(1/1)

~"Technically anti-specific" -Master of Negative Space
NO WAR

 

Sivitri Scarzam rose to challenge the Craw Wurm but was slain by Durkwood Boars.

Liliana emergent

Channel Fireball

Instant
Counter target spell named Fireball if its controller cast a spell named Channel this turn. If you do, you win the game.
"Your spell backfired."
Ghostwatch
Enchantment

Whenever a delayed triggered ability would have a creature card enter the battlefield from exile, counter that ability.

"The time of rebate has come, Obzedat."
This thread is mean.
This thread should probably be renamed "Cards you would run if the sideboard had a capacity of 200".
Poison the Cheese 
Instant

Destroy all creatures named "Pack Rat." 

"Go, then. There are other worlds than these." -- Stephen King, The Gunslinger

Please feel free to copy this message into your sig.

Revenge of the Spirit Tokens
Instant
White creatures you control get +0/+1 until the end of turn and cannot be tapped. Exile target red creature with power equal to 5 that entered the battlefield this turn.

IMAGE(http://i1.minus.com/jbcBXM4z66fMtK.jpg)

192884403 wrote:
surely one can't say complex conditional passive language is bad grammar ?
Guard The Pass-
Enchantment
Whenever a creature named Mountain Bandit enters the battlefield, it gains defender until end of turn.
"You shall not pass this way today, brigand."~Shao Ye, Captain of the Guard

 

120.6. Some effects replace card draws.

 

why are you here when NGA exists and is just better

Psychosis
Instant

Split Second
The controller of target Omniscience loses the game.

Did you really expect anything different?
Greaterer wall 3wwww
Enchantment
Creatures you control may block creatures with greatwallwalk as if they didn't.
Just take a cab
Enchantment

Creatures lose walk abilities, except islandwalk, mountainwalk, forestwalk, swampwalk and plainswalk.
Foot-ban G
Enchantment
Creatures lose swampwalk, islandwalk, plainswalk, forestwalk, and mountainwalk.
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