Some Un Cards

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Creature - Beast

Slowpoke blocks and is blocked by creatures as though they had first strike.

"Hey guys, did you know that the Scars block rotated?"


Two for One

Destroy two target permanents.

"When Vindicate isn't enough."

Seeker of Perfection
Creature - Elf Druid

When Seeker of Perfection deals combat damage to an opponent, transform him.

"I walk the long road to Nirvana."



Discoverer of Perfection
Creature - Elf Druid

"It was more like a stroll really."


Rock I Bludgeon You to Death With
Artifact - Equipment

Target creature gets +2/+0. While ~ is equipped, it has:
, sacrifice ~: Equipped creature deals 2 damage to target creature or player.

"I can't strike down two birds with one stone, but I guess one planeswalker will have to suffice."

Useless Prayer
Enchantment - Aura

Useless Prayer is white.
Enchant creature.
If enchanted creature would be sent to the graveyard, exile it instead.

"That which can be asserted without evidence, can be disproven without evidence."


Target player gets an emblem with "You cannot cast spells.".

"Duel of the planeswalkers? Ain't nobody got time for that."

Paranoid Counterspell

Counter target spell. Make three copies of Paranoid Counterspell, except those copies cannot make copies. You may not choose new targets for those copies.

"Just in case the first three counters would get countered."

Ass Pull ()

Put X 2/4 green Donkey tokens onto the battlefield. You lose X life.

"Don't wanna know how those got there."
From the title of this thread, on the first read of Seeker of Perfection, I thought it transformed the opponent upon dealing combat damage. That alone cracked me up. My next favorite card is Ass Pull, although it's rather weak. See Gelatinous Genesis.
Rules Advisor
Depends on what deck you're running, really. In some, Ass Pull is actually better than Gelatinous Genesis, by virtue of the fact that sometimes three 2/4s are better than three 3/3s.

Yes, that would've been pretty funny. 
These aren't very un.
These aren't very un.

How so?
These aren't very un.

How so?

Magic's "Un-sets" may have jokes on the surface, but they also have a tendency to bend or break the rules of the game.  Forcing players to perform weird actions like playing without bending their elbows, or having cards exist on the battlefield and on the top of the library at the same time, or caring about artist names, etc.

These cards may have jokey names and flavor text, and some do unique things that wouldn't normally be printed for design reasons (too narrow, or not fun for some players).  But they don't go outside the boundaries of what a Magic card can usually do. 
The World of Eldangard - a three act M:tG block by Fallingman Eldangard Stormfront Ragnarok
Well yes...but there are Un cards that break no rules.
Yes but those are clever and funny. Yours are humorous but not clever.
Well yes...but there are Un cards that break no rules.

Yeah, that's true.  Ambiguity, Blast From the Past etc.  They're the exception, but they do exist.

Then again there are also Ravnica cards that don't use any of the block mechanics or multicolor costs.  If you posted a bunch of random monocolor cards and said "Here are some Ravnica cards" I think people could rightly say that they aren't really "Ravnica" cards.  People come to a Ravnica-themed thread expecting to see cards based on the defining themes of Ravnica, the multicolor theme and the ten guilds.
The World of Eldangard - a three act M:tG block by Fallingman Eldangard Stormfront Ragnarok


Enchant creature

When enchanted creature dies, sacrifice Card.

(The joke is that auras risk being two-for-one'd. Also, other than card type and "enchant creature", everything about the card is also tautological.)
139359831 wrote:
Clever deduction Watson! Maybe you can explain why Supergirl is trying to kill me.
---- Autocard is your friend. Lightning Bolt = Lightning Bolt
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