Introduce Yourself! Board Code and Off Topic Nonsense Reconstrionist Third Series

4781 posts / 0 new
Last post
Where the hell did the Uncharted Realms thread go.
I can't seem to find it and I want to talk about this week's article
www.wizards.com/magic/magazine/article.a...
 


este?
"I think me going Bang bang bang I win is pretty intuitive" Mafia Record: Wouldn't you like to know? 2011 Mafia Awards - Mastermind of the Year
mymoment
\
57817638 wrote:
58060728 wrote:
88318561 wrote:
58060728 wrote:
Moriok Rigger does absolutely nothing to boost other riggers. You are incorrect.
Moriok Rigger is not a Rigger in print. Only in Errata WHAT NOW! (yes, I did put that phrase in for that exact reason)
Congratulations, they have activated your trap card!
You're better than that, Dr.
You're better than that, Dr.


No, sadly I am not.
"I think me going Bang bang bang I win is pretty intuitive" Mafia Record: Wouldn't you like to know? 2011 Mafia Awards - Mastermind of the Year
mymoment
\
57817638 wrote:
58060728 wrote:
88318561 wrote:
58060728 wrote:
Moriok Rigger does absolutely nothing to boost other riggers. You are incorrect.
Moriok Rigger is not a Rigger in print. Only in Errata WHAT NOW! (yes, I did put that phrase in for that exact reason)
Congratulations, they have activated your trap card!
Where the hell did the Uncharted Realms thread go.
I can't seem to find it and I want to talk about this week's article
www.wizards.com/magic/magazine/article.a...
 



community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/758...
Second page.
I blame all the useless questions asked recently.
Greetings I'm fairly new on these forums (atleast I consider myself new), there for I would like to know if there is any demon or dragon summoning going on here?

Or wait, perhaps even some elder/ancient being/god summoning?
Weird, I did a look for "Uncharted" and "Jenna" and didn't see anything.

 
Greetings I'm fairly new on these forums (atleast I consider myself new), there for I would like to know if there is any demon or dragon summoning going on here?

Or wait, perhaps even some elder/ancient being/god summoning?

If you look at the post above yours you'll see Barinellos. He is our resident eldrich horror. So that's a yes, I guess :P

Welcome to the forums! 
Coming Soon to the Magic: Expanded Multiverse: FRAGMENTS: A Shards of Alara Anthology
(Click through to view the cover and announcement page)Want to get your work in the Expanded Multiverse? Come join the project! Oh, and check out my blog, Storming the Ivory Tower: making sense of academia, media, and culture twice weekly.
Greetings I'm fairly new on these forums (atleast I consider myself new), there for I would like to know if there is any demon or dragon summoning going on here?

Or wait, perhaps even some elder/ancient being/god summoning?



Some have to power to invoke Barinellos, Eldritch Horror from Beyond the Darkness, Fiery Lord of Continuity, but he also shows up whenever he damn well pleases. We also have at least one Demon Bear lurking around (Oso del Diablo!) who is thought given digital form.


We have no dragons, at least not that I'm aware of.


Anyway, welcome to the forums.

After the official forums lost most of their functionality, a once vibrant community of Vorthos was wiped out.The survivors founded a new place to discuss all things concerning with the art, flavor and storylines of Magic: The Gathering. Come join us.

Welcome!
No one here RPs as a dragon.
Yet...

Incedentally, I was listening to a Drive to Work over the weekend, and apparently they really do consider Jace to be Magic's posterboy, and he was explicitly designed to be.

His character was meant to mirror common characteristics of magic players; curiosity, enjoyment of challenge, the desire to express himself in intellectual pursuits, a thing for sultry gypsy dominatrices.
And apparently, part of the reason for making Planeswalkers as part of the focus was what he refered to as a Mickey Mouse factor. To be able to point to an iconic character and be like "that guy/gal. it's their story.", so that they would potentially have the option to make a movie at some point in the future.
Huh. Suddenly Agents of Artifice: The Movie seems plausible. 0_o That's pretty cool. I wonder if Ari gets any kickback from that. 
Coming Soon to the Magic: Expanded Multiverse: FRAGMENTS: A Shards of Alara Anthology
(Click through to view the cover and announcement page)Want to get your work in the Expanded Multiverse? Come join the project! Oh, and check out my blog, Storming the Ivory Tower: making sense of academia, media, and culture twice weekly.
Great! Lets begin then *cuts my hand and start pouring blood into the chalice*
Huh. Suddenly Agents of Artifice: The Movie seems plausible. 0_o That's pretty cool. I wonder if Ari gets any kickback from that. 



Probably not, it being a licenced book. Wizards probably have all the rights associated with it. It might increase book sales, but I'm not sure if even that's a benefit, since the book was commisioned, meaning he already got payed for it. Maybe more people will read Agents of Artifice and that would lead them to Ari's other books. Or maybe he could adapt the book to a screenplay, but that's maybe outside his specialization. 


And I'm trying to imagine how they're going to do the weird mind-magic that's pretty vital to the plot (any more description would be spoiler material).

After the official forums lost most of their functionality, a once vibrant community of Vorthos was wiped out.The survivors founded a new place to discuss all things concerning with the art, flavor and storylines of Magic: The Gathering. Come join us.

Great! Lets begin then *cuts my hand and start pouring blood into the chalice*



¡RAWR!

You rang?

¡Oso del Diablo!
Oh hello!

So its you I summon with this new incantation :P
Huh. Suddenly Agents of Artifice: The Movie seems plausible. 0_o That's pretty cool. I wonder if Ari gets any kickback from that. 



Probably not, it being a licenced book. Wizards probably have all the rights associated with it. It might increase book sales, but I'm not sure if even that's a benefit, since the book was commisioned, meaning he already got payed for it. Maybe more people will read Agents of Artifice and that would lead them to Ari's other books. Or maybe he could adapt the book to a screenplay, but that's maybe outside his specialization. 


And I'm trying to imagine how they're going to do the weird mind-magic that's pretty vital to the plot (any more description would be spoiler material).


It would be tricky. I think they could do it, though, with an imaginative enough director. The trick will be keeping the audience from realizing the swap that occurs...


Heh, I was just thinking that it's been a while since we saw
¡Oso Del Diablo!
around these parts.

 
Coming Soon to the Magic: Expanded Multiverse: FRAGMENTS: A Shards of Alara Anthology
(Click through to view the cover and announcement page)Want to get your work in the Expanded Multiverse? Come join the project! Oh, and check out my blog, Storming the Ivory Tower: making sense of academia, media, and culture twice weekly.
Great! Lets begin then *cuts my hand and start pouring blood into the chalice*



¡RAWR!

You rang?



Oso, hijo. How have you been? You know you don't come speak with your father enough.
... you know, father in the metaphysical sense.

And yeah, I'm your eldritch god, but it takes something really impressive to summon me casually.
Now to invoke my wrath... that's much easier.
Great! Lets begin then *cuts my hand and start pouring blood into the chalice*



¡RAWR!

You rang?



Oso, hijo. How have you been? You know you don't come speak with your father enough.
... you know, father in the metaphysical sense.

And yeah, I'm your eldritch god, but it takes something really impressive to summon me casually.
Now to invoke my wrath... that's much easier.



And damn is he cute when he's speading his tendrils of annihilation across the sky. Makes me swoon in nihilistic bliss.

"The fuel on which science runs is ignorance. Science is like a hungry furnace that must be fed logs from the forests of ignorance that surround us. In the process, the clearing we call knowledge expands, but the more it expands, the longer its perimeter and the more ignorance comes into view." -Matt Ridley, Genome

So, I'm partway through writing a Ravnica story and I thought I would share the one scene I just wrote. It probably needs some revising, but hey, I'm excited and I wanted to pass it on :P

Show

The cathedral was gorgeous. Even Gorev had to begrudgingly acknowledge that. It was a masterpiece that seemed to rise impossibly upward, ever upward, in an intricate, impossible dance of glass and empty are supported by stone that seemed to have been spun like silk, or cast down from heaven like sunlight.


This was the genius of Jveska Crownerves. It was no wonder the Azorius were so adamant about finding the missing architect.


It appeared that his celebrations on the night of his disappearance, however, had been premature. The cathedral was not, as Vazra claimed, completed. Or at least, not according to the sign on the narrow entranceway that read "CLOSED FOR RENOVATIONS."


Pel gave Gorev a questioning glance. The older 'Jek shrugged. "An Orzhov cathedral is never completely closed," he remarked. "Bad for business. Let's see if we can get someone to answer the door."


Gorev rapped on the door and the two Wojeks waited. After a while, Gorev rapped again, forcefully and impatiently. This time there was a faint sound of movement from within. The door creaked open and the two men found themselves looking down upon a bow-legged Thrull.


There was something unsavory about this thrull, Pel noticed. Unsavory beyond the usual unsettling experience of being usured around by a creature composed of melted and resolidified flesh, at least. This thrull bowed to them and waved them inside, but there was a kind of perverse glee, a mock civility to its exaggerated deference. With a glance, Pel saw that Gorev was unsettled, too. The older man's jaw was set and he motioned for Pel to follow him quickly into the dark interior.


As they passed through the hallway, the thrull slunk back into the shadows with a faint gurgle that almost, to Pel's increasingly paranoid imagination, sounded like a wretched laugh.


"Keep on your guard, Pel," Gorev muttered, loosening his sword in its sheath as they made their way toward the inner sanctum. The younger 'Jek nodded and followed suit. They arrived at the high doors of the sanctum and, each one taking a side, cautiously pushed them open.


They knew then why the thrull's servility seemed so mocking, so perversely triumphant.


All of its masters were dead.


Perhaps two dozen long ropes dangled from the high ceiling of the church, hanging down to where two dozen humans had climbed onto the pews and then simply let gravity take them.


"There goes our lead," Gorev noted sardonically. He and his partner carefully moved into the center of the room. "What do you see, kid?" Gorev inquired.


"Looks like a mass suicide," Pel began slowly.


"But..." Gorev prompted.


"They're all bleeding," Pel continued. "Some from their noses, some from their eyes and ears. This wasn't some crazy Orzhov religious stunt gone wrong. These are all church staff. It looks like some of them were still in the middle of work--look, there's a quill and coins below that one, he must have dropped them before... before something got into his head..."


Pel trailed off as he began to follow the vertical lines of rope upward, higher and higher, into the complex interlocking buttresses and arches in the ceiling.


What he saw was indescribable. He felt a slow gnawing dread creep up his spine. The ceiling seemed to move and twist and distort as he watched. No--it did not just seem to twist, it was twisting, tying itself in knots. If Pel had been a mathematician he would have recognized the impossibility of the shapes, their higher-dimensional bends. But Pel was just a simple 'Jek, and he had to fall back on simpler ways of describing what he saw.


Madness. Horror.


Somewhere a thousand eyes opened up, and gazed down upon the young 'Jek. And then--


There was blackness and Pel felt himself falling. For a single dazed moment he wondered if he had passed out. But no, he felt the support of a body behind him, dragging him down to the floor of the cathedral. There was a pop, a hissing sound, and he felt something fly past his head, up, up into the rafters. "Oh," he thought dimly, "Uncle Gorev covered my eyes. I wonder why."


And then there was a red flash that seeped through the cracks in Gorev's fingers, a deep boom that shook the building, a series of cracking sounds, and, horribly, something like a deep wail of pain that seeped from the very rocks. Masonry fell on the fury shield that Gorev had hastily conjured.


After a few moments of silence as the din died away, Gorev and Pel looked cautiously up. Miraculously the ceiling had held. But whatever dark consciousness had inhabited it was gone.


Gorev stood up warily, brushed himself off, and looked down at his nephew. "Let me give you a piece of advice, lad," the older 'Jek said slowly. "When you see a whole bunch of corpses all staring in the same direction..." Gorev reached down with his huge hammer hands and hauled Pel to his feet. "DON'T LOOK WHERE THEY'RE LOOKING."


Gorev set his nephew down and began picking his way carefully over the fallen masonry, grumbling to himself as he did.


Pel, after a short, stunned moment, managed to gather his wits together enough to blurt out, "Did you just murder a building? With a grenade?"


Gorev, already making strides toward the back of the great chamber, called out his reply. "Azorius statutes consider buildings to be non-sapients for the purpose of sentencing. Statute... four point three oh oh nine dash ell haitch. Comes up more often than you might think. Now get over here, I found something you need to see."


Pel picked his way over the rubble and jogged across what was left of the ostentatious floor mosaic. In the nave of the cathedral a man knelt: the pontiff himself, beseeching a higher power for the first and last time of his life. He gazed upward at the ceiling, blood dribbling from his ears, eyes, nose, and mouth.


In his hands, frozen in desperate supplication, held a contract stamped with an Azorius seal and then stamped again with an Orzhov emblem. It was a contract of debt transference, from a guild to an individual.


The individual's name was printed at the bottom of the document:


"Jveska Crownerves."


 
Coming Soon to the Magic: Expanded Multiverse: FRAGMENTS: A Shards of Alara Anthology
(Click through to view the cover and announcement page)Want to get your work in the Expanded Multiverse? Come join the project! Oh, and check out my blog, Storming the Ivory Tower: making sense of academia, media, and culture twice weekly.
"crownerves" is a very... weird last name for a world like Ravnica.
Yeah, thinking of changing that. I was stuck so I tossed in something from a nonsense phoneme generator but I'm not really satisfied with the result...

I like Jveska though.

Hm, maybe Jveska Photios? 
Coming Soon to the Magic: Expanded Multiverse: FRAGMENTS: A Shards of Alara Anthology
(Click through to view the cover and announcement page)Want to get your work in the Expanded Multiverse? Come join the project! Oh, and check out my blog, Storming the Ivory Tower: making sense of academia, media, and culture twice weekly.
He murdered a ceiling with a grenade...

Also, did these men commit suicide, or did they die from hemorraging or whatever. Because the first dozen corpses are hanging, but Pel didn't seem to be going that direction and the Pontif died kneeling...
"I think me going Bang bang bang I win is pretty intuitive" Mafia Record: Wouldn't you like to know? 2011 Mafia Awards - Mastermind of the Year
mymoment
\
57817638 wrote:
58060728 wrote:
88318561 wrote:
58060728 wrote:
Moriok Rigger does absolutely nothing to boost other riggers. You are incorrect.
Moriok Rigger is not a Rigger in print. Only in Errata WHAT NOW! (yes, I did put that phrase in for that exact reason)
Congratulations, they have activated your trap card!
Yeah, thinking of changing that. I was stuck so I tossed in something from a nonsense phoneme generator but I'm not really satisfied with the result...

I like Jveska though.

Hm, maybe Jveska Photios? 



I would do what I did with Legacies. Choose something thematic then translate it into Polish.
Same way they ended up with Pierakor and a few other names from the original Rav cycle.
He murdered a ceiling with a grenade...

Also, did these men commit suicide, or did they die from hemorraging or whatever. Because the first dozen corpses are hanging, but Pel didn't seem to be going that direction and the Pontif died kneeling...

I should clarify that in the story. They were hanging, but also bleeding from what I was implying was some sort of mind crush thing. The Pontiff was the exception there. But yeah, I should make that a bit less confusing.

@Barinellos: Good plan. 


Any comments on the tone? Is it at least intriguing? 
Coming Soon to the Magic: Expanded Multiverse: FRAGMENTS: A Shards of Alara Anthology
(Click through to view the cover and announcement page)Want to get your work in the Expanded Multiverse? Come join the project! Oh, and check out my blog, Storming the Ivory Tower: making sense of academia, media, and culture twice weekly.
So, what sort of Magic do you guys play?

I have a black red Vampire Nocturnus deck built for standard. Working on tuning it to not insta-fold to contro decks.

I have a Mayael EDH deck that I keep myself entertained with by rotating the fatties between games.

And I have a collection of every duel deck printed to date.   



Luckly for me I voluenteer at a local after school orginzation that premotes youth development through nonelectronic gaming, so I get to play Magic all the time. Im into deckbuilding alot, so I have like 45-47 decks (makes it so hard to choose what I want to play, but at least I never get bored), but im completly casual. The only tournements I ever go to are the Prereleases. My Top decks would have to be Squirrels , Urza Artifacts and Power Zombies

On another note, I would love to have a forum Rpg, if people are up for it. As noted above, I go to a gaming place all the time so I have experience both playing in and running games (mostly Dnd and Pathfinder, but I have also played in a Days of Arthur and a Firefly game). I am avalible most nights after 6, eastern time.


I would do what I did with Legacies. Choose something thematic then translate it into Polish.
Same way they ended up with Pierakor and a few other names from the original Rav cycle.



That's exactly what I do.
My latest story's main characrer means 'knife' in Slavic. 
And while I'm at it, everyone GO READ LEGACIES. They're huge, I am aware of that, but dammit that last part especially was grueling to produce.

In other news, we are nearly just one part away from having completed the Myths of Siraus. After that, I am seriously considering doing some YMtC work with it.
Yeah, and while you're at it check out the giant plane/story thread Szat has over in the WIP forum. It's called Taramir and it's a plane that's slowly dying, and by the present day has fully collapsed. It's unspeakably bleak but also beautiful.

And the parts of Legacies that I've read are great. Read them all. I... should take my own advice on that. >_> 
Coming Soon to the Magic: Expanded Multiverse: FRAGMENTS: A Shards of Alara Anthology
(Click through to view the cover and announcement page)Want to get your work in the Expanded Multiverse? Come join the project! Oh, and check out my blog, Storming the Ivory Tower: making sense of academia, media, and culture twice weekly.
Yeah, and while you're at it check out the giant plane/story thread Szat has over in the WIP forum. It's called Taramir and it's a plane that's slowly dying, and by the present day has fully collapsed. It's unspeakably bleak but also beautiful.

And the parts of Legacies that I've read are great. Read them all. I... should take my own advice on that. >_> 



In fairness, I've done a pretty sufficient job at tweaking the first two parts as well with the new information, so it would be worth it to go through those as well.
Yeah, I was planning to just to get back in the right mindset for the rest. Plus, it was a good story and I want to re-read it :P

I looooooove that we're seeing so much creativity around here again. I missed the hell out of that. 
Coming Soon to the Magic: Expanded Multiverse: FRAGMENTS: A Shards of Alara Anthology
(Click through to view the cover and announcement page)Want to get your work in the Expanded Multiverse? Come join the project! Oh, and check out my blog, Storming the Ivory Tower: making sense of academia, media, and culture twice weekly.
Yeah, I was planning to just to get back in the right mindset for the rest. Plus, it was a good story and I want to re-read it :P

I looooooove that we're seeing so much creativity around here again. I missed the hell out of that. 



It was a fairly bleak season, but Winter often is.
They may say it often, but eventually the Starks are always right.

In a totally unrelated subject, hot damn I loves me some Galaxy Quest.

They may say it often, but eventually the Starks are always right.



The people of Equador disagree.
Or they might not, I have no idea what they weather is like there. 
Since I only received a single reply last time (and that saying he couldn't really give feedback), I'm posting this again before I start pm'ing peoples.

I'm glad this thread is nothing BUT off-topic, because quite honestly I don't know where to bring this up.

So I'm already noticing several people interested in Ravnican-based forum games here (which, quite honestly surprised me with how dead things were and with Skibo missing). My point here is that I had been hoping to to get the community gathered to create a traditional voting game in time for Dragon's Maze. This after I released a normal voting game based around M13. The same one I started working on a year ago, after Yanmato and my game on M12.

So the point I'm trying to make here ireal would people still be interested in traditional voting game for Dragon's Maze, even after Cato's one and eddned's not-quite-voting game.

And if I put out a more generic voting game in between then and now, even if there is enough time between now and then, will people even be interested in it? Or will I have to hold on to it until M14, when the legendaries I'm basing around may be removed or swapped out?

So, yeah; please feedback thank you. 



Profile Picture taken with implied permission from Trildar.

KeeperofManyNames wrote:

Alright, new theory: these forums are an experiment in ultraminimalism. By Monday everything--yes everything--will be the color white, and typing any character will simply produce a solid rectangle of variable height and width.

I don't!

But I've never managed to sustain an interest in any of those kinds of games, so yeah, not your target audience. 
"I think me going Bang bang bang I win is pretty intuitive" Mafia Record: Wouldn't you like to know? 2011 Mafia Awards - Mastermind of the Year
mymoment
\
57817638 wrote:
58060728 wrote:
88318561 wrote:
58060728 wrote:
Moriok Rigger does absolutely nothing to boost other riggers. You are incorrect.
Moriok Rigger is not a Rigger in print. Only in Errata WHAT NOW! (yes, I did put that phrase in for that exact reason)
Congratulations, they have activated your trap card!
In my research I've seen that a majority of players who quit do so by around 2 weeks in. So I've a plan to make things more interesting around that point, but that's neither here nor there.

I also forgot to mention that I noticed from Salvation that a "Modern Masters" set is coming out after the RtR block is done. Now, that original set was long before my time, but I got to thinking (inspired by an old comment in a game thread) about a Brother's War voting game for the release of that set. Would that be appropriate?

And anyone who wants to play a voting game is my target audience. 

Profile Picture taken with implied permission from Trildar.

KeeperofManyNames wrote:

Alright, new theory: these forums are an experiment in ultraminimalism. By Monday everything--yes everything--will be the color white, and typing any character will simply produce a solid rectangle of variable height and width.

Nothing in Modern besides Time Spiral (loosely) has any connection to the Brother's War, why would they coincide?
"I think me going Bang bang bang I win is pretty intuitive" Mafia Record: Wouldn't you like to know? 2011 Mafia Awards - Mastermind of the Year
mymoment
\
57817638 wrote:
58060728 wrote:
88318561 wrote:
58060728 wrote:
Moriok Rigger does absolutely nothing to boost other riggers. You are incorrect.
Moriok Rigger is not a Rigger in print. Only in Errata WHAT NOW! (yes, I did put that phrase in for that exact reason)
Congratulations, they have activated your trap card!
Nothing in Modern besides Time Spiral (loosely) has any connection to the Brother's War, why would they coincide?


No, no, you misunderstand. Master's edition is a reeeaaalllyyy old set. Modern Masters is a modern-legal set reprinting a bunch of old cards. 

I figured since it was about old cards, I could use an old storyline for a game. But this one I need the judgement of people who know that story and where it fits in to Magic's history. 

Profile Picture taken with implied permission from Trildar.

KeeperofManyNames wrote:

Alright, new theory: these forums are an experiment in ultraminimalism. By Monday everything--yes everything--will be the color white, and typing any character will simply produce a solid rectangle of variable height and width.

Nothing in Modern besides Time Spiral (loosely) has any connection to the Brother's War, why would they coincide?


No, no, you misunderstand. Master's edition is a reeeaaalllyyy old set. Modern Masters is a modern-legal set reprinting a bunch of old cards. 

I figured since it was about old cards, I could use an old storyline for a game. But this one I need the judgement of people who know that story and where it fits in to Magic's history. 


Nope, Modern Masters is the reverse of that, they take the same concept of the Masters Edition printing (re"printing" select older cards for online formats) and applied it the format of Modern. SO they are reprinting select cards from every set since 8th Edition.

Basically, this is how they reprint Tarmogoyf without breaking Standard.

Link to article.
"I think me going Bang bang bang I win is pretty intuitive" Mafia Record: Wouldn't you like to know? 2011 Mafia Awards - Mastermind of the Year
mymoment
\
57817638 wrote:
58060728 wrote:
88318561 wrote:
58060728 wrote:
Moriok Rigger does absolutely nothing to boost other riggers. You are incorrect.
Moriok Rigger is not a Rigger in print. Only in Errata WHAT NOW! (yes, I did put that phrase in for that exact reason)
Congratulations, they have activated your trap card!
Modern Masters is meant to be a Modern format supplement.
To gauge interest in the format and test ways of reprinting format staples.

And to make Tarmogoyf a Homestuck-style paradox self-clone.
Nothing in Modern besides Time Spiral (loosely) has any connection to the Brother's War, why would they coincide?


No, no, you misunderstand. Master's edition is a reeeaaalllyyy old set. Modern Masters is a modern-legal set reprinting a bunch of old cards. 

I figured since it was about old cards, I could use an old storyline for a game. But this one I need the judgement of people who know that story and where it fits in to Magic's history. 


Nope, Modern Masters is the reverse of that, they take the same concept of the Masters Edition printing (re"printing" select older cards for online formats) and applied it the format of Modern. SO they are reprinting select cards from every set since 8th Edition.

Basically, this is how they reprint Tarmogoyf without breaking Standard.

Link to article.


Ooooooooh. Well, dang it. I understood it wrong. And I also was unaware of that article. Thank you.

Profile Picture taken with implied permission from Trildar.

KeeperofManyNames wrote:

Alright, new theory: these forums are an experiment in ultraminimalism. By Monday everything--yes everything--will be the color white, and typing any character will simply produce a solid rectangle of variable height and width.

So, I'm partway through writing a Ravnica story and I thought I would share the one scene I just wrote. It probably needs some revising, but hey, I'm excited and I wanted to pass it on :P

Show

The cathedral was gorgeous. Even Gorev had to begrudgingly acknowledged that.  Begrudgingly. It was a masterpiece that seemed to rise impossibly upward, ever upward, in an intricate, impossible dance of glass and empty are emptiness supported by stone that seemed to have been spun like silk, or cast down from heaven like sunlight.


This was the genius of Jveska Photios. It was no wonder the Azorius were so adamant about finding the missing architect.


Sadly, It appeared that his the celebrations on the night of his disappearance, however, had been premature. The cathedral was not, as Vazra claimed, completed. Or at least, not according to the sign on the narrow entranceway that read "CLOSED FOR RENOVATIONS."


Pel gave Gorev a questioning glance. The older 'Jek shrugged. "An Orzhov cathedral is never completely closed," he remarked. "Bad for business. Let's see if we can get someone to answer the door."


Gorev rapped on the door and the two Wojeks waited. After a while, Gorev rapped again, forcefully and impatiently. This time there was a faint sound of movement from within. The door creaked open and the two men found themselves looking down upon a bow-legged Thrull.


There was something unsavory about this thrull, Pel noticed. Unsavory beyond the usual unsettling experience of being usured around by a creature composed of melted and resolidified flesh, at least. This thrull bowed to them and waved them inside, but there was a kind of perverse glee, a mock civility to its exaggerated deference. With a glance, Pel saw that Gorev was unsettled, too. The older man's jaw was set and he motioned for Pel to follow him quickly into the dark interior.


As they passed through the hallway, the thrull slunk back into the shadows with a faint gurgle that almost sounded, to Pel's increasingly paranoid imagination, sounded like a wretched laugh.


"Keep on your guard, Pel," Gorev muttered, loosening his sword in its sheath as they made their way toward the inner sanctum. The younger 'Jek nodded and followed suit. They arrived at the high doors of the sanctum and, each one taking a side, cautiously pushed them open.


They knew then why the thrull's servility seemed so mocking, so perversely triumphant.


All of its masters were dead.


Perhaps two dozen long ropes dangled from the high ceiling of the church, hanging down to where two dozen humans had climbed onto the pews and then simply let gravity take them.


"There goes our lead," Gorev noted sardonically. He and his partner carefully moved into the center of the room. "What do you see, kid?" Gorev inquired.


"Looks like a mass suicide," Pel began slowly.


"But..." Gorev prompted.


"They're all bleeding," Pel continued. "Some from their noses, some from their eyes and ears. This wasn't some crazy Orzhov religious stunt gone wrong. These are all church staff. It looks like some of them were still in the middle of work--look, there's a quill and coins below that one, he must have dropped them before... before something got into his head..."


Pel trailed off as he began to follow the vertical lines of rope upward, higher and higher, into the complex interlocking buttresses and arches in the ceiling.


What he saw was indescribable. He felt a slow gnawing dread creep up his spine. The ceiling seemed to move and twist and distort as he watched. No--it did not just seem to twist, it was twisting, tying itself in knots. If Pel had been a Perhaps some kind of mathematician he would could have recognized explained the impossibility of the shapes, their higher-dimensional bends. But Pel was just a simple 'Jek, and he had to fall back on simpler ways of describing what he saw.


Madness. Horror.


Somewhere a thousand eyes opened up, and gazed down upon the young 'Jek. And then--


There was blackness and Pel felt himself falling. For a single dazed moment he wondered if he had passed out. But no, he felt the support pressure of a body behind him, dragging him down to the floor of the cathedral. There was a pop, a hissing sound, and he felt something fly past his head, then up, up into the rafters. "Oh," he thought dimly, "Uncle Gorev covered my eyes. I wonder why."


And then there was a red flash that seeped through the cracks in Gorev's fingers, a deep boom that shook the building, a series of cracking sounds, and, horribly, something like a deep wail of pain that seeped from the very rocks. Masonry fell on the fury shield that Gorev had hastily conjured.


After a few moments of silence as the din died away, Gorev and Pel looked cautiously up. Miraculously the ceiling had held. But whatever dark consciousness had inhabited it was gone.


Gorev stood up warily, brushed himself off, and looked down at his nephew. "Let me give you a piece of advice, lad," the older 'Jek said slowly. "When you see a whole bunch of corpses all staring in the same direction..." Gorev reached down with his huge hammer hands and hauled Pel to his feet. "DON'T LOOK WHERE THEY'RE LOOKING."


Gorev set his nephew down and began picking his way carefully over the fallen masonry, grumbling to himself as he did.


Pel, after a short, stunned moment, managed to gather his wits together enough to blurt out, "Did you just murder a building? With a grenade?"


Gorev, already making strides toward the back of the great chamber, called out his reply. "Azorius statutes consider buildings to be non-sapients for the purpose of sentencing. Statute... four point three oh oh nine dash ell haitch. Comes up more often than you might think. Now get over here, I found something you need to see."


Pel picked his way over the rubble and jogged across what was left of the ostentatious floor mosaic. In the nave of the cathedral a man knelt: the pontiff himself, beseeching a higher power for the first and last time of his life. He gazed upward at the ceiling, blood dribbling from his ears, eyes, nose, and mouth.


In his hands, frozen in desperate supplication, held a contract stamped with an Azorius seal and then stamped again with an Orzhov emblem. It was a contract of debt transference, from a guild to an individual.


The individual's name was printed at the bottom of the document:


"Jveska Photios."


 



I decided to go ahead and give your story a once-over with the editing brush.  Overall, the mood was striking and effective, though I think the descriptions on the thrull at the start may be a bit too heavy handed.  I enjoyed it, and it certainly kept me engaged throughout.  The Characters were likeable, and the worldbuilding was very effective.  I am assuming this isn't the first scene of the story, otherwise much of the terminology would be confusing, but I figure that comes up earlier.

The biggest issues seemed to be in maintaining viewpoint.  For the most part, you're using a third person limited, with the audience avatar being Pel.  However, the two major slips here are the first paragraph (which seems to be showing Gorev's thoughts), and the 'mathemetician' line (which uses definite descriptors which it is clearly stated Pel could not know.
Susan Summerson from the Hell breaks loose Flavorful Voting Game http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29076567/Hell_breaking_loose:_an_Avacyn_Restored_voting_game?pg=1 Click here for more Forum Games:
Show
Susan Summerson also appeared in the Innistrad Mafia Game http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/28609371/Innistrad_Mafia?pg=1 Writer of Nally Bear from The Gathering Flavorful Voting Game: http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/28846821/The_Gathering:_M12_flavorful_voting_game?pg=1 Writer of Phyrex the Myr from Phyrexia Reborn: http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27993097/Phyrexia_Reborn:_A_Flavorful_Voting_Game?pg=1 Writer of Tinker the Myr from Legacy of Karn: http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/26647005/Karns_Legacy_(A_flavorful_voting_game) Writer of Crusader Tolkana, who has appeared in: Eldrazi Awaken: http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/24071149/Eldrazi_Awaken:_A_flavorful_voting_game?pg=1 Colors of Magic: http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/25352501/Colors_of_Magic:_a_flavor_game?pg=1 Guildwars III: http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/26082093/Guildwars_III:_Shattered_Pact_(A_flavorful_voting_game)?pg=1 Writer of Isaic from Treasures of Zendikar http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/22819881/Treasures_of_Zendikar?post_id=402182877#402182877