Loosing an Undesirable

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Ok, this is going to sound mean but please bare with me.
 
We've recently started to play a new campaign of 4th Ed with four players. One of these four was a friendly aquaintance from work and sinse playing it turns out that one of the other players really doesn't like him, one isn't fond of him and the other isn't bothered. Since then I've grown tired of him (I won't go into details, it's one fo those situations where somebody is cool as long as you only see them once or twice a week but as soon as you start hanging out...) and on top of that I've had two other friends who want to join but have had a run in with this guy and don't like him either. (I wasn't aware of this when I arranged the game). I've encouraged the other friends to sit in on the next game but now I'm left with this problem.

I have a table of 7 playing D&D (including myself) 5 out of the 7 don't really want him there anymore (Including myself). On the other hand he doesn't realise what a tool he can be sometime and although he's stubborn enough to refuse to act any differently I still think he would be hurt if I suddenly discluded him from the table.

 What am I supposed to do!?
The mature thing would be to talk to the guy and either talk to him about his behavior or tell him that it's not working out. That's also the hard thing, as the mature thing so often is.

Slightly less mature is to disband the group for a while, and then bring the people you do want to play with back together. Be prepared for the other guy to find out about this and feel hurt if you take this approach.

Bottom line: if you were the undesirable in this case, how would you want the others to handle it?

If I have to ask the GM for it, then I don't want it.

yep best thing to do is to sit this guy down, explain how you and the others feel, or if you prefer just how the others feel, and say that you have to go with the majority.  Just say that the synergy in the group just isn't good and you can further explain with examples of situations where his behavior caused problems.  Be honest, you owe the guy at least that.
"Non nobis Domine Sed nomini tuo da gloriam" "I wish for death not because I want to die, but because I seek the war eternal"

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The mature thing would be to talk to the guy and either talk to him about his behavior or tell him that it's not working out. That's also the hard thing, as the mature thing so often is.

Slightly less mature is to disband the group for a while, and then bring the people you do want to play with back together. Be prepared for the other guy to find out about this and feel hurt if you take this approach.

Bottom line: if you were the undesirable in this case, how would you want the others to handle it?



Wisdom. I've had to do this in the past and if the undesirable is cool, he will understand. Honestly though, I don't know if I would let the other two people in either right now. Adding new players to a group after just booting someone, especially when the two parties know each other, makes things feel really strange. Use your own judgment, but I recommend the difficult mature path.
Ok, this is going to sound mean but please bare with me.
 
We've recently started to play a new campaign of 4th Ed with four players. One of these four was a friendly aquaintance from work and sinse playing it turns out that one of the other players really doesn't like him, one isn't fond of him and the other isn't bothered. Since then I've grown tired of him (I won't go into details, it's one fo those situations where somebody is cool as long as you only see them once or twice a week but as soon as you start hanging out...) and on top of that I've had two other friends who want to join but have had a run in with this guy and don't like him either. (I wasn't aware of this when I arranged the game). I've encouraged the other friends to sit in on the next game but now I'm left with this problem.

I have a table of 7 playing D&D (including myself) 5 out of the 7 don't really want him there anymore (Including myself). On the other hand he doesn't realise what a tool he can be sometime and although he's stubborn enough to refuse to act any differently I still think he would be hurt if I suddenly discluded him from the table.

 What am I supposed to do!?

This is the "game cancel" way out and it's very effective and without hurt feelings of reality of being told you're a crappy human being who we can't stand to have in our presence:
1. We typically "cancel" the game, citing that the GM has prior obligations.
2.  We restart the game
3.  If he asks, we say that some other guy had us join his game.


I don't feel that I owe people an explanation on why I don't want them in my group.  If they don't fit, they don't fit.  I've certainly told people "maybe you're not a good fit," but I much prefer the "game cancel" way out anymore. Its just as effective.

I currently have a player who got kicked out of another group because he lacks focus.  He really annoyed me initially, but I've spoken with him a couple times and I ignore him when he talks about non-gaming stuff.

It's a wierd situation now that I don't have the free time I did even 5-10 years ago to game because I don't have the tolerance for non-gaming crap (especially politics, religion, death, and basically any player bemoaning his status in this world).  I don't really care about their bad day anymore.  I don't game to be a therapy session for the real world.  I game to get AWAY from the real world.  People that drag their personal baggage into my very limited free time, ticks me off..hence why I simply drop people or we "hide" from them for a while if we don't want to deal with them.

jh

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The mature thing would be to talk to the guy and either talk to him about his behavior or tell him that it's not working out. That's also the hard thing, as the mature thing so often is.

Slightly less mature is to disband the group for a while, and then bring the people you do want to play with back together. Be prepared for the other guy to find out about this and feel hurt if you take this approach.

Bottom line: if you were the undesirable in this case, how would you want the others to handle it?



This is definitely right, but if it were me, I'd disband the group and start back up sans problematic tool.  If problematic tool were a friend, that would be one thing, but I don't have the kind of relationship with my co-workers where I feel that I owe them -- or that they would appreciate -- a discussion of how nobody can stand being around them.
The mature thing would be to talk to the guy and either talk to him about his behavior or tell him that it's not working out. That's also the hard thing, as the mature thing so often is.

Slightly less mature is to disband the group for a while, and then bring the people you do want to play with back together. Be prepared for the other guy to find out about this and feel hurt if you take this approach.

Bottom line: if you were the undesirable in this case, how would you want the others to handle it?

This is definitely right, but if it were me, I'd disband the group and start back up sans problematic tool.  If problematic tool were a friend, that would be one thing, but I don't have the kind of relationship with my co-workers where I feel that I owe them -- or that they would appreciate -- a discussion of how nobody can stand being around them.

Well, that estimation might be all the preparation one needs to make before taking that route. I didn't want to presume any particular degree of disinterest in the other person's feelings.

If I have to ask the GM for it, then I don't want it.

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