Sort of Storm

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I've deleted the old thread I messed up, lets try again.

Enchantment
Shroud
Reveal this card from your hand, it's your first turn, you've cast 3 or fewer spells this turn: Put this card into play.
When you draw a card, unless it is the first or 2nd card drawn this turn, lose 2 life.
Each perminent cast costs 1 mana less, starting with the colorless part of the mana cost, for each permient cast this turn.
Cycling .
dear god, that's confusingly worded
i think what you mean is this:


[alan2here's card]
Enchantment
Put ~ onto the battlefield.  Activate this ability only on your turn and only if you have cast 3 or fewer spells this turn.
Shroud.
Whenever you draw a card, if it isn't the first or second card you drew this turn, you lose 2 life.
Permanent spells cost less to cast for each permanent spell cast this turn.
Cycling


now:
what?!?!?!  -- abilities don't make any sense together -- why does cheaper castingh on permanents also hurt you if you're drawing extra cards? -- the shroud and cycling are just out of nowhere -- why is it free as long as you play it first? -- just play it on your first turn for free; or, play it for free first thing on any turn -- there's no reason not to just make the casting cost
i have no idea what you were trying to do here
Almost, you should only be able to cast it on your first turn. And the can also reduce the colored part of the cost, but only after all the colorless part has been removed.

You could have used less examination in your reply, but it's helpful, I'll try and describe where I'm coming from.



... it's your first turn, you've cast 3 or fewer spells this turn: ...

When you draw a card, unless it is the first or 2nd card drawn this turn, lose 2 life.

Shroud

I wanted this card to encourage saving up cards to play in groups later on. It's not supposed to be for combo decks as such, so I wanted to avoid strategies like highly accelerated card draw followed by playing this then emptying your hand.

The card ensures you play it early, from then on you are hurt by excessive drawing and as with cards like helix pinnacle it won't be removed to easily.


The reward should be powerful in environments like Limited and Standard, but requires judgement and timing.


1 mana less, starting with the colorless part of the mana cost

Colorless first is another check/balance to make it work smoothly instead of just brokenly.


Cycling .

Because it's of no use later in the game, it can be cycled out of your hand if you missed your chance to use it.
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