[Contest] Don't let me eat cake!

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The 13th november isn't my birthday, so let's not celebrate my birthday on that day, instead make a card that I don't really like! Your card is supposed to be well-designed and it's supposed to have lots of positive traits, but you're immediately disqualified if you post a card that I like..

Some things that are very important to me are synergy + mechanics + innovation, and my forum activity (visible on my profile!) mainly consists of posting cards and writing comments for cards that other people have posted.. If you're posting single cards in this forum and you're looking for comments, you probably know exactly what I like and what I don't like..

Also, I have introduced myself in the casual forum, and you're free to use whatever you know about me the way that you wish.. You won't win this contest if you simply post a card which insults or hoses cats, because I don't dislike cards that insult or hose them.. Good luck, and this contest ends in two days!

I'm curious if this contest makes any sense and if people like it..
Thank you, GM_Champion! ^.^ You just did me a huge favor even though pissing me off is part of the contest..
Depsite the fact that I've designed many cards cats_and_me doesn't like, I have no idea what would qualify for this contest.

The World of Eldangard - a three act M:tG block by Fallingman Eldangard Stormfront Ragnarok
Yeah, I'm not sure how much sense this contest makes, although I definitely like the idea that's behind this contest: The best card that has a large enough flaw so that I don't like the card wins, that's different from the many "design something that someone likes" contests that other people are holding! Yeah, I appreciate comments on this contest idea, no matter how negative or positive they are..
Oakhall Cultivator
Creature - Elf Druid
Whenever you tap an elf you control for mana, add to your mana pool.
The legacy of their tribe is inscribed along the walls, each plank dedicated to one of those who fought for the land its buildt upon.
2/2

Did I do good and bad?

Yxoque wrote:
This forum can't even ****ing self-destruct properly.

IMAGE(http://img.pokemondb.net/sprites/black-white/anim/normal/plusle.gif)

Turducken
Creature - Zombie Bird (U)
When ~ dies, put a 2/2 black Zombie Bird creature token onto the battlefield. It has "When this creature dies, put a 1/1 black Zombie Bird creature token onto the battlefield."
3/3
Darkroot Infusion
Enchantment
Creatures you control get +3/+3 and have trample.
Whenever a creature you control dies, exile another creature that you control.
"There's still debate regarding the Infusion, some still want to classify it as a curse."

IMAGE(http://i1.minus.com/jbcBXM4z66fMtK.jpg)

192884403 wrote:
surely one can't say complex conditional passive language is bad grammar ?
I've removed content from this thread. Trolling/baiting is a violation of the Code of Conduct

You can review the Code of Conduct here: company.wizards.com/conduct

Please remember to keep your posts polite, on topic and refrain from personal attacks. You are free to disagree with one another as long as it is done in a respectful manner. 
Darkroot Infusion
Enchantment
Creatures you control get +3/+3 and have trample.
Whenever a creature you control dies, sacrifice a creature.
"There's still debate regarding the Infusion, some still want to classify it as a curse."


If one creature dies, all your creatures die, because each sacrifice triggers this again. Is that intended?
Darkroot Infusion
Enchantment
Creatures you control get +3/+3 and have trample.
Whenever a creature you control dies, sacrifice a creature.
"There's still debate regarding the Infusion, some still want to classify it as a curse."


If one creature dies, all your creatures die, because each sacrifice triggers this again. Is that intended?


No it wasn't, I fixed it, but I wish there was a way to do it without having to exile.

IMAGE(http://i1.minus.com/jbcBXM4z66fMtK.jpg)

192884403 wrote:
surely one can't say complex conditional passive language is bad grammar ?
Mown got suspended for defending me, I hope that you're back pretty soon and I feel really bad!
Darkroot Infusion
Enchantment
Creatures you control get +3/+3 and have trample.
Whenever a creature you control dies, sacrifice a creature.
"There's still debate regarding the Infusion, some still want to classify it as a curse."


If one creature dies, all your creatures die, because each sacrifice triggers this again. Is that intended?


No it wasn't, I fixed it, but I wish there was a way to do it without having to exile.


"dies without being sacrificed" perhaps? A bit clunky, but not too bad. 
Puppeteer's Vise
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant Creature.
Enchanted creature gets -2/-1.
You control enchanted creature as long as its power is 2 or less.

Preparing for the M14 Prerelease - New article up! IN THE TANK - my very own blog for rambling about Magic!
I was afraid that my criterion wasn't restrictive enough and/or incredibly complicated, but apparantly you people are posting cards here.. By the way, the ~best~ card that I don't like for some reason wins! If you're posting the worst card, you'll only win if everything else gets disqualified..
Spray Bottle -
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature has ":tm:: Return target cat to its owner's hand." and "tm:: Tap target creature."
Equip
Tames unruly kittens, annoys unruly goblins.

Show

Master Loche -
Planeswalker - Loche
[-1] Tap each permanent. Each permanent does not untap during its controller's next untap step.
[-2] Each player skips his or her next untap step.
{3}
Quick Spider

Creature--Spider

Haste, reach 2/4
139359831 wrote:
Clever deduction Watson! Maybe you can explain why Supergirl is trying to kill me.
---- Autocard is your friend. Lightning Bolt = Lightning Bolt
don't know why i strangely have a solid idea of what you don't like. But whether i can create something like that i'm not sure.

Musclesynthesis
Instant
Choose one - Put two +1/+1 counter on target creature; or double the number of +1/+1 counters on target creature.
Synthesis 2 (Pay this card's mana cost, exile it from your graveyard: Put two +1/+1 counters on target creature.)

"A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away." - Antoine de Saint-Exupry

[spoiler MLP]Congratulations, you've found My Lie Policy: Only when i'm prompted, i might lie. (policy still in the refinement process.) [/spoiler] [spoiler I am both rational and instinctive. I value self-knowledge and understanding of the world; my ultimate goal is self-improvement and improvement of the world around me. At best, I am focused and methodical; at worst, I am obsessive and amoral.]I am Blue/Green
I am Blue/Green

[/spoiler]

I don't know what you don't like, but  I'm fairly sure you won't like this.

Unbounded Potential
Legendary Enchantment (M)
When Unbounded Potential enters the battlefield, each player shuffles his or her hand into his or her library.
If a card would be put into a player's hand from a library, that player instead reveals the top card of his or her library and plays that card without paying its mana cost if able.
Anything can happen, nothing can be planned. No thought, only action.

Won a TPmanW contest with Demonic Arbitrator. (see below) My username is a simple continued fraction. Look it up. My favorite cards I've made:
Show
Æther Rider Creatuere - Spirit (U) Vanishing 0 (This permanent enters the battlefield with zero time counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter from it. When the last is removed, sacrifice it.) Flying : Put a time counter on ~. Any player may activate this ability. It comes on the wind, from realms unknown. 2/2 Kaldurian Behemoth Creature - Beast (R) Mana produced by lands may not be used to pay ~'s mana cost. Trample On Kalduria, the beasts are too good to eat common grass. 10/10 Demonic Arbitrator Sorcery Starting with you, each player may pay any amount of life. If any player paid life, repeat this process. If a player paid more life in total than any other, that player searches his or her library for a card and puts that card into his or her hand. Then that player shuffles his or her library. "Your sacrifice has been judged worthy. What power do you require?"
Llanowar Prodigy
Creature - Elf Druid
Haste
: Add to your mana pool.
1/1
Some use, some study, some become.

Quotes: 

Show
magicpablo666 wrote:
These cards are Ball Tightening.
I_forget_who_dammit wrote:
Perfect originality is overrated and often ugly. The best and most beautiful cards I've ever seen were clearly inspired by something else. Cards are not entirely unlike living organisms in this regard. All the good ones are a result of long evolution; the 'original' ones are either monocellular or mutant aberrations.
ColonialDragons wrote:
The weird part is reaching over the table, grabbing a card from their hand, and just staring slowly back at them, awkwardly, as you slide their voice of resurgence slowly into your pants.
magicpablo666 wrote:
Graveborn are strictly better than Zombies. I mean, look at that wicked beard. You try growing that when your dead. And I know aging fellows who are suffering from Male Pattern Baldness, who would kill for a Mop like Ribsy's over there.
magicpablo666 wrote:
Hey Dudibus, I can't take you seriously until you take your shirt off!
cats_and_me wrote:
I'm just stating what I think is their opinion! :/
Unbreakable Lines 
Enchantment
Creatures you control have defender.
Creatures you control get +2/+4

I dunno. 

CURRENT EDH DECKS: Sek'kuar | Kraj | Teysa | Wort | Purphoros | Varolz | Reaper King | Rakdos | Isperia | Ultimus | Iroas | Macar

Many people that posted in this thread seem to know one of the many things that I can't stand.. Don't forget that you have to design the ~best~ card that I don't like, not just a bad card!
Many people that posted in this thread seem to know one of the many things that I can't stand.. Don't forget that you have to design the ~best~ card that I don't like, not just a bad card!



Did you mean being ignored?

No one likes that. It's just that some people can rise above it and some can't.

IMAGE(http://cdn.bulbagarden.net/upload/1/1c/Spr_4p_389.png)

With other words, make a card that has one single large flaw (that I don't like for some reason!) and that's pretty well-designed otherwise, because that one single large flaw doesn't heavily damage the quality of the rest of the card.. If your card is very bad for multiple reasons, then you're doing it wrong and should change the card!
Hmmm....

Rats Set Free |
Sorcery
Destroy all Cats.
Put X 2/2 black rat creature tokens onto the battlefield X is the number of creature cards in all graveyards.
When the cats are dead, the rats get fed. 
Whoa. What happened here?

Cats, I'll try to make a card. I just have to do some research first.

139359831 wrote:
That is a lovely painting of Richard Garfield. It really brings out his feminine side.
I'm really sorry that it's not 100% obvious what you're supposed to accomplish in this contest, but here are some hints.. As I said before, you won't get me to dislike cards simply because they insult or hose cats, but it's possible to submit cards like that.. You'll probably get me to dislike cards that are very similar to already existing cards because innovation is very important for me, but you probably won't win this contest if the card has another flaw because it's about posting the ~best~ card that I don't like..
You seem to dislike all my cards that "punish" - this is the word you commonly use to describe them. So, a good card that punishes you for casting it? I'll try:

Target Behemoth
Creature - Beast
Spells your opponents control that target Target Behemoth may be cast for instead of their original costs.

13/13

Sorry, let me change that a little:


Goliath Behemoth
Creature - Beast
Spells your opponents control that target Goliath Behemoth may be cast for instead of their original costs.

"A thunderous bolt, cleverly disguised as the smallest stone."

13/13

139359831 wrote:
That is a lovely painting of Richard Garfield. It really brings out his feminine side.
Mine's bad, but not too bad. And it has no synergy to speak of (if anything, negative synergy), so you'll hate it.
139359831 wrote:
Clever deduction Watson! Maybe you can explain why Supergirl is trying to kill me.
---- Autocard is your friend. Lightning Bolt = Lightning Bolt
Copycat 
Creature - Human Troll Cat
Whenever an opponent draws cards, draw that many cards.
Whenever an opponent gains life, you gain that much life.
Whenever an opponent loses life, you lose that much life.
Whenever an opponent discards cards, discard that many cards.
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under an opponent's control, Copycat becomes a copy of that creature except for its name and written abilities.
1/1
"You are overpowered."
-
Whatever your name is
Alright, don't post cards anymore, I'm writing comments and I'm slowly editing this post! The card that I don't like because of its large flaw that I don't like but is a great design and doesn't have another large flaw is the card that wins, and that means that your cards shouldn't have one large flaw plus ~another~ large flaw, because that makes the card pretty bad..


Oakhall Cultivator

Creature - Elf Druid
Whenever you tap an elf you control for mana, add to your mana pool.
The legacy of their tribe is inscribed along the walls, each plank dedicated to one of those who fought for the land its buildt upon.
2/2



I don't like your card! It's because of the missing synergy with itself, the creature should be able to produce mana (it's even a druid itself!) without being a combo piece and only depending on your other creatures, that's why elves that "increase" the mana production have their own medium-quality tapping ability that becomes better when it's combined with other elves.. It would be very entertaining to build around the card, and it's very printable because Wizards doesn't share my opinion when it comes to synergy with itself.. The card also has the right mana costs, because you'll play it on your second turn where you already have one creature that can be tapped for mana..


Turducken
Creature - Zombie Bird (U)
When ~ dies, put a 2/2 black Zombie Bird creature token onto the battlefield. It has "When this creature dies, put a 1/1 black Zombie Bird creature token onto the battlefield."
3/3



I don't like your card! It's because that its mechanic is very close to persist, and we don't need another mechanic that does the same thing if there's no twist like there's a twist when persist is changed into undying.. Because of the relevant creature types, building around the card and making use of its mechanic sounds very exciting, but why does a ~bird~ not have flying? The card has a high power level, especially because of the many hidden options, but also if you play the card the regular way.. It's very close to Mitotic Slime, that has beautiful flavor and better mechanics, we have too many reasons why the creature shouldn't be printed someday..


Darkroot Infusion
Enchantment
Creatures you control get +3/+3 and have trample.
Whenever a creature you control dies, exile another creature that you control.
"There's still debate regarding the Infusion, some still want to classify it as a curse."



I don't like your card! It's because of the anti-synergy between the drawback and the pumping ability, it's pretty difficult to destroy creatures in combat by attacking them or blocking them.. If your opponent manages to destroy the creatures, you're punished incredibly hard because of that (non-black / non-green!) drawback and that prevents many players from liking the card.. They would still play the card, because it's very effective when it does work for you, but it's too dangerous and game-warping for a three-mana card.. It should reward you less when it does work for you and should punish you less when it doesn't work for you..


Puppeteer's Vise

Enchantment - Aura
Enchant Creature.
Enchanted creature gets -2/-1.
You control enchanted creature as long as its power is 2 or less.



I don't like your card! It's because that utility creatures with interesting abilities don't survive the first ability, while fighter creatures without interesting abilities become useless or can't be tamed in the first place.. You can also use this card to destroy creatures, but four mana to just destroy a 1/1 creature doesn't sound exciting.. What I like is the synergy between the abilities, even though it doesn't create many interesting decisions where that synergy matters and changes how you play this card..


Master Loche -
Planeswalker - Loche
[-1] Tap each permanent. Each permanent does not untap during its controller's next untap step.
[-2] Each player skips his or her next untap step.
{3}



I'll grade the "better" submission for this contest, although I don't like your card! It's because you basically designed a sorcery with rebound that allows your opponents to disrupt its second + third activation for some reason.. Such dangerous and game-warping abilities don't belong onto three-mana cards anyway, especially because it prevents interaction and prevents the players from having fun.. Keeping creatures tapped doesn't allow them to attack the card and to remove the loyalty counters anyway, so it's very clore to a sorcery with rebound that's pretty unfair..


Quick Spider


Creature--Spider

Haste, reach 2/4



I don't like your card! It's because it's very close to a card which already exists, and because defensive abilities like reach aren't red abilities, and because of the anti-synergy of its keywords..


Musclesynthesis
Instant
Choose one - Put two +1/+1 counter on target creature; or double the number of +1/+1 counters on target creature.
Synthesis 2 (Pay this card's mana cost, exile it from your graveyard: Put two +1/+1 counters on target creature.)



I don't like your card! It's because the second ability is very close to flashback, there's no good reason why players aren't allowed to choose the second option when playing the card from the graveyard.. That wouldn't really make that much of a difference, because often you would play the card to refresh the +1/+1 counters on a counter-based creature or play the card in counter-based decks, and then its different options aren't different options but do the same thing..


Unbounded Potential

Legendary Enchantment (M)
When Unbounded Potential enters the battlefield, each player shuffles his or her hand into his or her library.
If a card would be put into a player's hand from a library, that player instead reveals the top card of his or her library and plays that card without paying its mana cost if able.
Anything can happen, nothing can be planned. No thought, only action.



I don't like your card! It's because of its extremely complicated abilities that cause lots of confusion, for example what happens with cards that you searched for with Lay Of The Land and then revealed them? Also, it forces both players to "discard" their hand first, and that's why it would be played when you don't have lots of cards in hand but your opponent does, probably because you bounced its creatures before you played the card.. The wording doesn't work, because you're never able to pay mana costs as long as you refuse to tap your lands for mana..



Llanowar Prodigy
Creature - Elf Druid
Haste
: Add to your mana pool.
1/1
Some use, some study, some become.



I don't like your card! It's because it's very close to a card which already exists, and because it's extremely powerful and makes for very unfair combos on your first turn..




Unbreakable Lines 
Enchantment
Creatures you control have defender.
Creatures you control get +2/+4

I dunno. 



Congratulations, I like your card, you're disqualified! It's more interesting and has more possible applications than Statecraft, and it would be incredibly entertaining to come up with exciting combos..




Rats Set Free |
Sorcery
Destroy all Cats.
Put X 2/2 black rat creature tokens onto the battlefield X is the number of creature cards in all graveyards.
When the cats are dead, the rats get fed. 


I don't like this card! It's because the first ability doesn't matter in most games, you should have chosen a first ability that's less narrow and has more synergy with the seoncd ability that way.. The second ability is pretty nice, but also can be found on many other cards that already exist, and because the first ability does nothing in most games, it's actually too close to cards that were already printed.. Also, you should use 1/1 creature tokens because they already exist and there's no good reason to invent new creature tokens, especially because the flavor of them doesn't really make sense..




Goliath Behemoth
Creature - Beast
Spells your opponents control that target Goliath Behemoth may be cast for instead of their original costs.

"A thunderous bolt, cleverly disguised as the smallest stone."

13/13


I don't like this card! It's because of what you explained, and nobody likes to waste six mana for something that can be dealt with for free.. It's unfortunate that the card has just one single ability, most other cards with similar mechanics reward you with trample so that it creates pressure and so that you don't feel that bad for playing the card.. If your opponent can't destroy the creature, it's actually very effective and I would prefer a version that rewards you less if your opponent can't deal with the creature and that punishes you less if your opponent ~can~ deal with the creature..



Copycat 
Creature - Human Troll Cat
Whenever an opponent draws cards, draw that many cards.
Whenever an opponent gains life, you gain that much life.
Whenever an opponent loses life, you lose that much life.
Whenever an opponent discards cards, discard that many cards.
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under an opponent's control, Copycat becomes a copy of that creature except for its name and written abilities.
1/1
"You are overpowered."
-
Whatever your name is



I don't like this card! It's because of the many different abilities that aren't even connected mechanically, and most of them aren't even white.. It's extremely complicated to build around the card and you won't have much fun, because you have to play one of the rather few decks that can deal with the many different advantages + drawbacks.. I don't know other things that can be said about your card, because it's really confusing and it's the opposite of elegance..

third place



Puppeteer's Vise

Enchantment - Aura
Enchant Creature.
Enchanted creature gets -2/-1.
You control enchanted creature as long as its power is 2 or less.





second place




Goliath Behemoth
Creature - Beast
Spells your opponents control that target Goliath Behemoth may be cast for instead of their original costs.

"A thunderous bolt, cleverly disguised as the smallest stone."

13/13





first place



Oakhall Cultivator

Creature - Elf Druid
Whenever you tap an elf you control for mana, add to your mana pool.
The legacy of their tribe is inscribed along the walls, each plank dedicated to one of those who fought for the land its buildt upon.
2/2





Congratulations! ^.^
Hats off, Mown and Pablo. Though I'm happy with third with such difficult criteria.
Preparing for the M14 Prerelease - New article up! IN THE TANK - my very own blog for rambling about Magic!
But reach is red in the alternate multiverse.
139359831 wrote:
Clever deduction Watson! Maybe you can explain why Supergirl is trying to kill me.
---- Autocard is your friend. Lightning Bolt = Lightning Bolt