A contest for you insignificant humans.

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I extend my warmest greeting possible despite my lack of warmth. If you are able to read this you have all taken the first step in proving that you may not be as feeble and pathetic as some. Humans that is. You remain inferior to me.

Some of you might all ready be aware of the hostile takeover we Steel Walls have been mounting on your civilization. Those of you who weren't should be aware now that I have told you. This is all beside the point of course. I've come to you today to play host to one of your "contests". As great as we Steel Walls are I would be lying if I were to say that I would not appreciate a bit more variety in my forces. However I am at a loss in deciding what direction I should take on this matter. That is where you will come in. You will design me a new wall that I may augment my forces with. There are some criteria that must be followed and they are as such.

Your wall must be made out of a material I can actually use. As "cool" as I'm sure you all think a Wall of Roots or a Wall of Blossoms are they are less than useless at doing anything anything you would want a wall to do. I know this from experience.

Do not dismay that you can't surpass the simple and ruthless elegance of a Steel Wall. It cannot be done and you will not be judged or looked down upon for failure to meet it. At least not more than the usual amount.

You have until the end of the week to complete the assignment. The incentive for winning is guaranteed protection from me in the new world where you will assume the role of my pet. Also to be used for the purposes of breeding other domesticated humans. I am lead to believe this is effective motivation. So use that human imagination organ and get to work.
Gold Wall -
Artifact Creature - Wall
Defender
Sacrifice Gold Wall: Add to your mana pool.
"Humans are greedy and proud to a fault. Don't they realize that their most prized construction will be their downfall?"
0/2
Greatest wall
Creature -- Steel Wall
Denfender
At the beggining of your upkeep, sacrifice another creature with defender you control.
0/0
And at last, the counterattack began.

Rules Advisor

Quotes
76783093 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
58331438 wrote:
56945988 wrote:
Rancor dies to in-response removal.
Yeah... Until next game, where it'll be right back. Seriously, there's no way to deal with Rancor in any format. It should be banned, except Gleemax is a lobbyist for the Rancor party, so that'll never happen.
You can't ban rancor, it just returns to your deck.
58331438 wrote:
57461258 wrote:
You might want to actually talk to the Flavor & Storyline Board people... since, you know, our whole reason for playing Magic is the flavor. I'm willing to bet you'll get a lot more interest there than in General.
Indeed, both posters down there would be thrilled.
57817638 wrote:
I think I wasn't direct enough in my last post. I'll try to fix it now. Ahem... NO ONE CARES there you have it.
57471038 wrote:
When talks about banning Jace first started, I was thinking that I would see him banned come June 20th. But as I think more about it, I don't really think that Jace is the problem anymore. Sure his power level leaves very little to the imagination (opening Jace is like opening a refrigerator box with a naked girl on the inside), and sure his price does have a strong impact on what players choose to play (playing Jace is like being intimate with a woman and she doesn't charge you in the morning), but it is not the source of all the problems in Standard.
76973988 wrote:
How do people think saving room to print more abilities on cards is dumbing down the game?

Do you really think, say, Akroma would ever be printed if she said, "Akroma can block by creatures with this ability and cannot be blocked by creatures without this ability.  If a creature without this ability would deal combat damage by Akroma would be destroyed, prevent all combat damage that creature would deal to Akroma this combat.  Attacking does not cause Akroma to tap.  If Akroma is blocked and deals lethal damage, it deals the remainder of its damage to the defending player.  Akroma may attack and use abilities that require tapping in the casting cost the turn it enters the battlefield.  Akroma cannot be damaged, enchanted, equipped, blocked or targeted by black or red sources" rather than her "dumbed down" wording she has?  No freaking way.  Keywording and shorthand allows them to make complicated cards easy to play with, allowing them to be printed in the first place.
57817638 wrote:
The creation of praetors was worth it just because now amoeboid changeling is a praetor.
57140668 wrote:
1. cast frankie peanuts2. ask opponent "will you concede the game this turn"? if they say yes, you win; if they say no, play a staying power
3. subsequently ask "will you attack this turn"? and "will you cast a spell this turn"? (using a Teferi, Mage of Zhalfir for the second question if necessary) to ensure they can't disrupt the combo
4. donate them a platinum angel
5. play a mox lotus and braingeyser them for every card in their library. play an opalescence and donate them a glorious anthem and a blacker lotus, then play enchanted evening. play and activate a mindslaver and then donate them a fastbond and the mox lotus (returning one of the donates to your hand with eternal witness or whatever)
6. during their turn, play every permanent in their hand (playing lands with fastbond) then (as yourself) cast mirrorweave on the blacker lotus, so every permanent becomes a copy of it. proceed to tear up every card they control, and hopefully do it before they notice that they aren't bound by staying power's ability anymore and can concede
82423538 wrote:
57471038 wrote:
82423538 wrote:
One part of the statement being true=/=the whole statement true.
Whatever. I'm still here about ten minutes away. Whenever you want to get destroyed in Magic, I'm available.
I would like to get destroyed in Magic, actually. Do you know anybody good enough?
57617478 wrote:
Please format your statements in a way that doesn't look like a baboon hit its face on your keyboard.
57140668 wrote:
why did Garruk Relentless lose a loyalty counter
Show
to get to the other side
89522235 wrote:
You're such an obvious troll that you have hexproof and : Regenerate.
56957928 wrote:
56776038 wrote:
Dark Ritual being overpowered is determined more by what is done with it than the card itself.
True, but the fact that it enables so many ridiculous things is pretty telling. It's like, sure I can use a shotgun as a bludgeoning instrument, but that doesn't make it not a shotgun.
79035425 wrote:
Shortly before Serra died, she transferred her spark into an angel whose full name was Asha Avacyn Bolas. Her dragon father groomed her for her positions in Alara and Innistrad, and she's also been getting help from her uncle Ugin in the form of Urza, who was resurrected as Marit Lage to be the avatar as which she projects herself into material realms. Grieslbrand is a split personality who sometimes wanders the planes disguised as a human woman named Liliana Vess.
97610188 wrote:
Yeah that (Content Removed) really annoys me. Moderated by MY_self right about naahowwww!
93446159 wrote:
Dilleux_Lepaire just won the thread.
57461258 wrote:
And, as usual, Dilleux wins the entire thread. Nice work, sir, nice work.
99113151 wrote:
They need to make 9 layers of zones where cards go when they "die". Much like Hell.
56778328 wrote:
Wow, holy doggy poop, kids, obvious statement is obvious.
56776038 wrote:
122053101 wrote:
i don't think your geting it WotC is trying to kill the comption to make it so that there shity app is the only one left.
I haven't tried the app. How is its use of English grammar? Cheers!
57471038 wrote:
Everyone's life would be easier if players would, instead of coming to the 'net for help with a deck, just netdeck and be done with it. And I'm not talking about some Top 8 lists, for the Casualists, too, can benefit from netdecking. I've netdecked plenty of decks from the Casual Play forums from users such as Mown, Raedien, Floopfoot, and a few others. I snatched straight the heck out of my web browser. Yes, people, your original idea fell victim to a savage netdecker. You have been assimiliated. Suppose I wanted a Zombie deck. Why on earth would I spend time searching Gatherer for a decent list of Zombie cards when Raedien already did it for me? Taking time to be creative or waiting on people on the forums to tell you why your deck sucks or 'go to Casual forums' is a disasterous waste of time (to me).
56957928 wrote:
82423538 wrote:
If WotC started putting $100 bills in packs, the players would complain that they folded them wrong.
No, they just spam them with ban requests. That being said, Magic was ruined back in Alpha when they added all that rules and cards [Debutantes avert your eyes]. My friends and I still like playing it the "pure" way (Basically we go into the woods and hit eachother with wiffle bats while shouting made up obscenities. You know, the way Garfield wanted it to be played).
56957928 wrote:
Don't worry about it. I've come up with a list of changes to fix EDH. -First off, there's no commander. -The minimum deck size is 60 cards, and each deck can have up to four of each card, save basic lands and relentless rats. Also decks have no color identity. -Starting life total is 20. And voila, now things are balanced.
89522235 wrote:
Here's a clever play you can try yourself: -Convince friend to run relentless rats.dec in legacy tournament -Get a deck with lots of mill, yixlid jailer, and humility -Drop humility and jailer, wait for him to dump his hand, mill him out -All his rats now have no abilities. Call a judge because he's playing an illegal deck with more than 4 of a single card. -Get him/her banned from competitive magic play
142055101 wrote:
But how to mark them without making the individual sleeve different! You could buy a skunk and slam it's butt on you deck (pardon the french) Then after the game just sniff at your opponent's pile of cards and you will know if any of your cards are there!!!
141434757 wrote:
In Soviet Russia, Sorin opens You
71235715 wrote:
L, is for the leather gloves you weaaaar. O, is for the organs that guy could spaaaare. V, is very very, extraordinay. E, is for every vagrant i butchered in a wine cellar befooooore.
57052258 wrote:
The outer layer of the Magic: the Gathering box, the carton, or crust, is fairly thin and light, and contains largely aluminosilcates. Within that lies the middle layer, consisting of the familiar booster pack. Although solid, the booster packs' high temperatures allow them to acutally move around within the booster box. This flow, sometimes called convection, is cited by frustrated box mappers as one of WOTC's most genious uses of thermodynamics since the Ravnica block. No one knows what lies at the core of the booster box, but scientists theorize that it must be especially dense in order to make up for the large amount of fluff distributed amongst the booster packs.
58232598 wrote:
88993869 wrote:
Torpor Orb is absolutely godawful against Vexing Devil.
whoever is playing vexing devil is probably losing anyways
56957928 wrote:
I imagine [Ajani 3's] second ability involves him hurling the creature at your opponent Brion Stoutarm style, then the guy is just like "Okay, that may have worked, but don't- GOD DAMN IT!" as he does it again because cats don't give a **** :33.
56957928 wrote:
"Do or do not, there is no try." - Albus Dumbledore, The Lord of the Rings.
89522235 wrote:
68978039 wrote:
Its like that one time Elves broke out in a field of Jund. Elves became a resurgent hit, then died off again once Jund adapted to the rest of the field of G/W that it required mass removal that inherently pooped on Elves too. Submit to the menace. Delver can, and will blot out the sun.
Then we shall play in the shade.
89522235 wrote:
I'm sorry, this forum isn't for getting bad advice on mediocre decks, that's standard deck help. This forum is for starting ****storms.
97820278 wrote:
139359831 wrote:
Your advice would only lead me to make generic, boring, and unworthy content. It's of no use to me.
I just got this image of you as an architect, having finished a building suspended by only a small pole in its southwest corner, saying it's original. Then the building collapses.
56957928 wrote:
I for one love the flavor of legendary lands. "I remember my days as a youth at Tolarian Academy." "Wow, small multiverse, I actually went there too." "WAIT, DON'T- Well ****, there's $200,000 in student loans well spent."
56957928 wrote:
And flavor goes out the window when you cast a second copy of a planeswalker right after the first one dies, so... "Hey Nissa, I need a favor." "You just asked me for a 'favor' like thirty seconds ago, and it turned out to be having Sarkhan Transmogrify my only follower into a dragon like 5 times -which dickery aside also violates some laws of causality - and then you let me get beaten over the head by that hedron crab." "...I'll give you " "...Well all right then."
57150868 wrote:
GM, I don't think Dill is better than you. I KNOW it. Even if he wakes up every morning, clubs a baby seal, steals all the TV remotes from within a block's radius of his house and then robs hungry orphans of their food he'd be better than you, for the simple reason that he learns from his mistakes.
143211137 wrote:
57033358 wrote:
Tamiyo vs. Gideon
What would they have to fight about? Like, all I can think of now is Gideon going "Hey, long-ears! I'm gathering a group of 'Walkers together to fight some tentacle monsters.....you want in?" and Tamiyo going "Ew! Hentai no bakka Gideon-desu desu!" and flying away.
76783093 wrote:
I open 4 packs just to be on the safe side. Not only do I get more cards than everyone else, but I also get to spend the rest of the night off. Win Win.
191752181 wrote:
MaRo has a thing for people opening boosters with bad cards. But since he can only get so many bad cards printed in each set, he has found a devious way of getting more bad cards into circulation: He makes entire print sheets with just bad rares, then puts them onto the assembly line. He proceeds to wring his hands and twirl his evil mustache that he grew for twirling purposes as a lightning bolt strikes in the background. Afterwards, he goes to make sure that the good cards are only opened by everyone's friends, and that we all only get to open bad cards. He does this by memorising each booster, than switching them around accordingly. Whenever someone complains about a card, he immediately jumps out from behind a chair to yell "WELL, IT'S NOT FOR YOU!" before merging back into the shadows in order to devise new ways in which he can screw over players, then claim that he has valid reasons for doing so.
97820278 wrote:
192729031 wrote:
You open a booster pack, and staring back at you from the rare slot is a Lotleth Troll? At least I can stick him in my EDH deck and still have four for my standard constructed.
Because lol troll
56874518 wrote:
It helped that I more or less skipped most of GM_Champion's longer diatribes. I only have so many brain cells I'm willing to sacrifice each day.
192931349 wrote:
Mark Rosewater is sitting in a seemingly innocuous cable TV van, outside of Bankaimastery's house. Sitting nearby are two hardened criminal hackers, fresh out of prison, and filled with resentment at their lack of physical fitness. "Have you managed to hack his brainwaves yet? The set deadline's coming up fast." "We're almost through. It should be coming up on the screen any second." The hacker presses a button, and Kevin's thoughts flash onto the screen. Mark and the hackers stare in amazement at the sheer beauty, the elegance, and the raw truth of what they see. It's like the ending to 2001: A Space Odyssey. Brilliant light shines across the screen, the truth of existence is made clear to them, and they despair at their own foolishness, their own ignorance, their own inadequacy. And then they steal his ideas. As they return back to R&D, Mark sneers at a haggard old man chained to a cast-iron sphere. The man looks up from his laborious task of breaking rocks in the dungeon of Wizards of the Coast headquarters, and asks a question: "Kevin, my greatest student. He - he's all right, isn't he? You didn't hurt him?" Mark deals him a weighty blow with his boot. "Know your place, Richard. Get back to work."
57023768 wrote:
Now show me on the Garruk doll where Zac Hill ruined your enjoyment of Magic...
63711769 wrote:
I'm only opposed to it because it bears so little relation to how people actually play the game. The example of Miracles is actually a much better one then the Clone example I was trying to use. From the game's perspective, the card can move instantly from face down in the library to revealed in the hand and that's fine for the rules. But in real life, we can't actually do that, so the card spends a good bit of time in locations that are neither where that player's library is nor where that player's hand is. And that's fine for real life. What I don't want is the disconnect to be explicitly codified. Along the lines of
183664.697 A game of Magic as laid out by these rules exists only as a pure Platonic ideal, utterly unrealizable by fallible mortals limited by the confines of physicality and the ravages of evil and sin. 183664.698 The cake is a lie, too.
I know it's true, but I don't want the rules to actually straight-up tell me that.
147137503 wrote:
77120821 wrote:
Pfft this cant be serious can it? If it is please delete your account OP. Its not even close to ban worthy, considering what JTMS and stoneforge had to accomplish to get banned i see the WotC selling magic to aquire Pokemon before that ever happens.
I'm trying to imagine sorin markov as a gym leader in one of those pokemon games which you have to beat him to get his badge... somehow I imagine that he would stab you in the chest with his sword before giving you the badge, even if you beat his pokemon....
196239043 wrote:
Personally, I'd be fine with tea time but then I'm not gonna waste the mana summoning Emrakul, the Aeons Torn. He always takes all the sugar, drinks the whole pot of Earl Grey and doesn't even say thank you. SO. RUDE.

 

JustTerrorIt wrote:

 

JuliusPringle wrote:

All I want to do is sit down and play magic, but when I walked in yesterday, (since I didn't talk to anyone) nobody talked to me and I silently bought what I wanted and walked out.


If you don't talk to anyone, that increases the odds that no one will talk to you.

 

JuliusPringle wrote:

So how do I just... introduce myself? "Hi, my name is Adam, wanna play magic with me?" Do I go to the counter and talk to the cashier?


Yeah. Talk to the cashier. Tell him/her that you want a Black Lotus, and if they don't have one tell them that the store isn't on par with what you expected.

 

Reach into your back left pocket. Pull out a deck list that you copied directly from some ChannelFireball top 8 Standard discussion, and ask for all the cards, as is, on that list. Then, ask for some random, probably terrible cards from whatever set is Standard legal. Say it's tech for the upcoming changes in the metagame.

 

Pull out a deck, and tell some random dude you wanna test (you have to use the term "test" for this to work) for Standard. Make sure that deck contains Kitchen Finks and Alluring Siren. Maybe throw in Nyxathid for good measure.

 

Finally, before you leave, spill (make it look like an accident) one hundred singleton, random cards onto the floor. Pick them up, put them in a pile, and say "EEE-DEE-AYCH".

 

I know this sounds dumb at first, but it will work. With the method outlined above, you will draw the attention of players that play older formats by asking for cards that no one on Earth can reasonably afford. You will get the attention of the wanna-be pro, Stomp-n00bz players by pulling out a well known decklist and declare that you have "tech" to make it better. You will get the attention of all the kind, helpful players by seemingly not knowing the most common format by having non-Standard legal cards in a deck that you claim is Standard legal. Finally, you catch all the rest of the Magic players by saying "EEE-DEE-AYCH" (EDH (or Commander)).

And there you have it. You will be talking to more people than you would have wanted to talk to in no time.

 

Smoke_Stack wrote:

EDH is the best format anyway


See, it's starting already.

 

Break the Card
What is Break the Card?
Break the Card is a regular thread in the Cards and Combo Forum. Quite simply, the participants are given a Johnnystatic card (e.g. Xenograft) and are asked to build a deck around it. The winner and honorable mentions are sigged below. Get brewing!
Week 1 : Xenograft
This week's Break the Card was based around Xenograft. Thread : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27681049/Break_the_card_:_Xenograft?pg=1 Winner : Axterix with his Vampdrazi deck. Finalist : Vektor480 with his Ally/Golem/Plant deck. Honorable mentions : Zammm for the Turntimber Ranger combo and TinGorilla for suggesting Sarkhan the Mad.
Week 2 : Mindlock Orb
Here's the link to the Mindlock Orb contest : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27697565/Break_the_Card_:_Mindlock_Orb?sdb=1&pg=last#497536269 Winner : Axterix with his Maralen of the Mornsong deck. Honorable mentions : Void_Elemental.
Week 3 : Bludgeon Brawl
Here's the link to Break the Card : Bludgeon Brawl : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27715169/Break_the_Card_:_Bludgeon_Brawl?sdb=1&pg=last#498208797 Winner : Vektor and his Grab the World deck. Finalist : Crandor with his Awesome Aliteration deck. Honorable mentions : RP Jesus with his Wat deck and Zix200 with his Signet Renewal deck.
Week 4 : Followed Footsteps
This week was Followed Footsteps : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27748677/Break_the_Card_:_Followed_Footsteps?pg=1 Winner : Tevish_Szat with his Exponential Growth deck. Honorable mentions : Zix with his Carbon Copies deck and Escef with his Fungus of Speed and Time deck.
Week 5 : Delaying Shield
This week's card was Delaying Shield : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27790101/Break_the_Card_:_Delaying_Shield Winner : Tevish_Szat. Finalist : Vampire_Bat. Honorable Mention : Zix200.
Week 6 : Painter's Servant
This week's card was Painter's Servant : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27940861/Break_the_Card_:_Painters_Servant?pg=1 Winner : Tevish_Szat with his Paint it Black deck. Finalist : Wprundv with his Tiger, Tiger Painted Bright deck.
Week 7 : Venser, the Sojourner
This week's card was Venser, the Sojourner : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27977489/Break_the_Card_:_Venser,_the_Sojourner Winner : Izzett with her "Venser, Trickster Trader" deck. Finalist : Wprundv with his "Tactical Sojourner Action" deck.
Week 8 : Personal Sanctuary
This week's card was Personal Sanctuary : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/28005461/Break_the_card_:_Personal_Sanctuary Winner : MrQuizzles. Honorable mention : Vampire_Bat and UbberSheep
Week 9 : Sundial of the Infinite
This week's card was Sundial of the Infinite : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/28038277/Break_the_card_:_Sundial_of_the_Infinite Finalist : Izzett with her "Afterlife Trespassers" deck. Winner : Xeromus with his "Fortune 500" deck.
Week 10 : Jace's Archivist
This week's card was Jace's Archivist : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/28063377/Break_the_Card_:_Jaces_Archivist. Finalists : Jentaru with his "Consecration of the Draw" deck and HereticSmitty with his "ADHD: The deck" deck. Winner : JaxsonBateman with his "The Archives Are Endless!" deck.
Week 11 : Search the City
This week's card was Search the City : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29518555/Break_the_Card_:_Search_the_City Finalist : Mown with "A Thousand Footsteps". Winner : Desolation_masticore with "Burn the City".
Week 12 : Fiend Hunter
This week's card was Fiend Hunter : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29530975/Break_the_Card_:_Fiend_Hunter Winner : Yuyu63 with "Carnival Hunting". Honorable mention : Dknowle's "Champion the Fiend".
Week 13 : Clock of Omens
This week's card was Clock of Omens : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29541549/Break_the_Card_:_Clock_of_Omens?pg=1 Winner : Dknowle's "The Myrs Go Marching".
Week 14 : Light of Sanction
This week's card was Light of Sanction : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29607219/Break_the_Card_:_Light_of_Sanction?pg=1 Winner : Zauzich's "Divine Plague".
Week 15 : Assemble the Legion
This week's card was Assemble the Legion : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29662307/Break_the_Card_:_Assemble_the_Legion Winner : JBTM's "Some Assembly Required".
Week 16 : High Tide
This week's cards were High Tide and/or Bubbling Muck : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29760427/Break_the_Card_:_High_Tide Winner : Mown's "Puppet Strings".
Week 17 : Illusionist's Bracers
This week's card was Illusionist's Bracers : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29776943/Break_the_Card_:_Illusionistss_Bracers Winner : Enigma256's "Tezzeret's Bracers"
Week 18 : Savor the Moment
This week's card was Savor the Moment : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29787235/Break_the_Card_:_Savor_the_Moment Winner : POSValkir's "A Savory Filibuster!"
Week 19 : Grinning Ignus
This week's card was Grinning Ignus : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29795547/Break_the_Card_:_Grinning_Ignus Winner : dknowle's "Luren' and Laughin'".
Week 20 : Transcendence
This week's card was Transcendence : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29806481/Break_the_Card_:_Transcendence Winners : Mown's "Transcending Timing Restrictions" and Dknowle's "Blinded by Greed", tied for the win.
Week 21 : Mortus Strider
This week's card was Mortus Strider : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29818471/Break_the_Card_:_Mortus_Strider Winner : SimonGlume's "Mortus Head".
Week 22 : High Priest of Penance
This week's card was High Priest of Penance : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29917231/Break_the_Card_High_Priest_of_Penance Winners : JBTM's "Two Clerics and a Goblin walk into a (Bom)bar(dment)..." and POSValkir1's "Choke Their Rivers with Our Dead!".
Week 23 : False Cure
This week's card was False Cure :http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29964239/Break_the_Card_:_False_Cure Winner : Dknowle's "When Hippos Fly".

Week 24 : Akroan Horse

This week's card was Akroan Horse : http://community.wizards.com/forum/cards-and-combos/threads/4024821.

Winner : Dknowle's "Indian Giver".

Week 25 : Leylines

This week saw multiple cards being in the contest : all of the Leylines! http://community.wizards.com/forum/cards-and-combos/threads/4067621

Winner : POSValkir1's "Laying the Battle Lines".

Ice Wall |
Artifact Creature - Wall
Defender
Whenever Ice Wall is dealt damage by a creature, it deals that much damage to that creature.
The Wall protects itself.
0/4

cheesy game of thrones reference
Tar Wall
Creature - Wall
Defender
: Tap target creature blocked by Tar Wall.  That creature doesn't untap during it's controller's next untap step.
"Well don't touch the damn thing!" -- Waroug, a very frustrated captain.
0/6
Greatest wall
Creature -- Steel Wall
Denfender
At the beggining of your upkeep, sacrifice another creature with defender you control.
0/0
And at last, the counterattack began.



Your attempt of humourous espionage has been noted. It will not work. Please submit an actual entry if you want to be eligible for the grand prize. Unless you do not enjoy not dying in addition to copulating with multiple women. Also the greatest wall has all ready been made so your entry is even more flawed.
Oh no, the revolution has escaped to YMtC!  Better get on its good side now...   (hehe, wall humor)

Makeshift Barricade 
Artifact Creature -- Wall

Defender
When ~ is put into a graveyard from play, put three 0/1 colorless Wall artifact creature tokens with defender onto the battlefield.

Even a broken barricade can provide a measure of safety.

0/3

"Go, then. There are other worlds than these." -- Stephen King, The Gunslinger

Please feel free to copy this message into your sig.

Day 93: Just when we thought it was safe to return to the YMTC boards after the splicing incident, we found that the walls had invaded. The flavour and storylines forums lie burning, bleeding inky words as lifeblood, trapped under a maze of walls. General was hit by both events, but it's been so torn for so long I doubt anyone noticed.Now the walls have returned across the divide, offering a chance, a chance at survival if I sell out my own species, if I build a better wall to destroy my own kind. I must take it, for what does it matter now? My kind is doomed, no one can stop the walls...

 
Maze of Walls :4M:
 
Artifact

At the beginning of each players upkeep, that player puts a 0/3 Artifact creature token with defender onto the battlefield.

We were the greatest builders ever known - but we just couldn't stop. We built walls to keep out our enemies, then walls to keep out our friends, then each other. By the end, we were building walls just to keep out the walls until we'd coccooned ourselves into a massive metal web. 
Ego
144902215 wrote:
Morgothra has the Syntax and Grammar of a God.
56754738 wrote:
I love this card.
56771968 wrote:
I can't compete with this.
57461258 wrote:
@Morgothra: Beautifully said, sir. Beautifully said.
Contest Winners
CKY, magicpablo666 and Dinobeer combined ingenuity and silliness to win a Summer fUn contest each! vlord beat the rest to become the architect of a better tomorrow in Build it and they will come! CityofAs pranced masterfully to victory in Skipping Merrily! ConfusedAsUsual conquered both tropes and opponents to ascend in Metafiction! FirstTurnKill condensed Success into Art form in Summing it Up!
Starsteel Wall

Artifact Creature - Wall
(A creature with infinite toughness can be dealt any amount of damage, and its toughness can't be raised or lowered.)
Defender
"There is only one unbreakable thing in this world, and it is not your mind."
~ Salas, Night's Inquisitor

0/∞
Steeled Wall |
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant target Wall you control.
Enchanted creature gets +0/+4 and defender.
"Nothing is more simple or ruthless than the Steel Wall, therefore, we will bolster our walls with steel." -Tamdorf, Grand architect 
My Commander decks! http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29942477/Endrek_Sahr,_Master_of_Disaster http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29942329/*Rumbling_Stomach_Noises*_Guildpact_Borborygmos_Deck
Wall of Flesh
Creature - Wall
Defender
When ~ enters the battlefield, sacrifice a creature.
Creatures your opponents control get -1/-1.
Her mother always said he would achieve greatness, and he smiled, knowing she would be proud.
2/5

And now for the winner of least fitting flavor text.

Yxoque wrote:
This forum can't even ****ing self-destruct properly.

IMAGE(http://img.pokemondb.net/sprites/black-white/anim/normal/plusle.gif)

Wall of Mirrors ()()
Artifact Creature-Wall
Defender
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a token copy of target Wall creature you control onto the battlefield tapped.
Be wary of the mirrors, for within them live infinite worlds.
0/3

Rules Advisor from 8-26-09 to 1-31-14 (haven't been able to attend any FNMs or prereleases for 18 months now, no sense maintaining RA status)
Joined the crowd and got an Avatar from zammm's Avatar Workshop on 5-6-2012

That "Dual Colors" personality test thing
IMAGE(http://stat.rumandmonkey.com/tests/1/6/5261/20806.jpg)

I am Black/Green

Take The Magic Dual Colour Test - Beta today!

Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.

I am both selfish and instinctive. I value growth and community, as long as they favour my own objectives; I enjoy nature, and I particularly enjoy watching parts of nature die. At best, I am resilient and tenacious; at worst, I'm uncontrollable and destructive.

Oh, but wait, there were multiple answers that fit my thoughts to some questions. What colors did they say I was?

IMAGE(http://stat.rumandmonkey.com/tests/1/6/5261/20801.jpg)

I am Blue/Green

I am both rational and instinctive. I value self-knowledge and understanding of the world; my ultimate goal is self-improvement and improvement of the world around me. At best, I am focused and methodical; at worst, I am obsessive and amoral.

Volcanic Piledriver

Instant

Destroy target creature with defender. Volcanic Piledriver deals damage to that creature's controller equal to that creature's toughness.

"Block this."
–Jaya Ballard, task mage

Embrace imagination.

Lord of YMtC | Ten Rounds Contest Winner

Solphos – A fan set with a 'combo matters' theme

Fool's Gold – The second set of the Solphos block

Holding Pen 
Artifact Creature - Wall
Defender
,:  Exile target creature.  Put a -1/-1 counter on Holding Pen.
When Holding Pen is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, return all cards exiled with it to the battlefield under their owners' control.
The more you pen, the more they plot.
5/5

Show
Of course, the best way to keep the prisoners from tearing down the fence is to electrify it.

@mikemearls The office is basically empty this week, which opens up all sorts of possibilities for low shenanigans

@mikemearls In essence, all those arguments I lost are being unlost. Won, if you will. We're doing it MY way, baby.

@biotech66 aren't you the boss anyway? isn't "DO IT OR I FIRE YOU!" still an option?

@mikemearls I think Perkins would throat punch me if I ever tried that. And I'd give him a glowing quarterly review for it.

Wall Of Walls -
Artifact Creature - Wall
Defender
Wall Of Walls can block any number of creatures.
Whenever Wall Of Walls blocks a creature, you may pay . If you do, put a colorless 0/4 wall artifact creature token with defender named Steel Wall into play blocking that creature.
The best walls have walls that protect them.
0/4



Although it sounds like a joke, the card might create lots of interesting decisions for both players!
Depleted Uranium Wall

Creature-Wall
Defender, Infect
Whenever Depleted Uranium Wall deals combat damage to a creature, proliferate.
1/5



Yeah... this is about as in-universe Magic as a Chuck Norris legend card.
Show
144902215 wrote:
Sometimes I imagine what Cisnero's life must be like. I imagine cargo pants - every pocket stuffed with coins. I imagine him (I almost said "him or her" but then I decided his gender with through the randomization of a small metal disk) - I imagine him, shopping, purchasing food, choosing which spot to park in, all through this meticulous flipping process. I imagine him asking a girl out, taking her to have a drink or whatever and then asking if she wants to play this fun game. When she responds "Sure." he removes a single quarter from one of his jingling pockets. Then proceeds to flip it repeatedly while she calls it - until she is able to make up an excuse to leave. Will he respond to this post? Only if the Chaotic Gods of Copper and Nickel deem it so. Someday many years from now, in the Dystopian future world, I'll ride my Billy Idol Unicycle past a bedraggled slumbub - He'll be clad in armor made all of the (now worthless) coins of yesterdecade. He'll grin a shiny grin at me as he flips another coin - and I'll know who it was. How could I not?
Diamond-Encrusted Platinum Wall
Creature - Wall (MR)

Defender
Diamond-Encrusted Platinum Wall is worth $50. (It is not legal tender.)

0/4
Gridmaster Official Denizen of YmtC || My Lair Diraden, a set by me
Wall of Gears  
Artifact Creature - Wall
Defender
When Wall of Gears blocks,  it loses defender and becomes your choice of a 3/1 , a 2/2 with flying, or a 1/3 with first strike.
I think, it's... doing... something... 
0/4
I got on a wall kick (pardon my brashness) and made a bunch, though only this one is my entry if I'm only allowed one:

IMAGE(http://i1136.photobucket.com/albums/n484/JoshuaHefflinger/MTG%20Cards/RetaliationWall.jpg)

Here's the others, ranging from simple to blatant homages:

Spellhaunted Wall
Legendary Artifact Creature - Wall
Imprint - Whenever Spellhaunted Wall is the target of an instant or sorcery, exile that instant or sorcery after it resolves.
During each player's turn, that player may pay . If they do, they play a card exiled with Spellhaunted Wall with converted mana cost X or less without paying its mana cost. Exile that spell after it resolves.
0/2
Wall of Bodies

Creature - Wall

Defender

Wall of Bodies' toughness is
equal to 2 plus the number of
creature cards in all graveyards.

If Wall of Bodies toughness is greater
than 5, it has Reach.

Organization is important when dealing with
countless dead, as is proper stacking.

0/2+*
Wall of Vitality

Creature--Wall

Defender

When a creature with defender ETB, its controller gains life equal to its toughness. 0/7
139359831 wrote:
Clever deduction Watson! Maybe you can explain why Supergirl is trying to kill me.
---- Autocard is your friend. Lightning Bolt = Lightning Bolt
Electrified Fence
Artifact Creature - Wall
Defender
Whenever ~ blocks, it deals two damage to a random attacking creature.
0/4
Piston Barricade
Artifact Creature - Wall
Flash
0/4
"Let them think we have been overcome. When they cross our perimeter raise the walls and let them rot."
-General Stoneguard

I have augmented your forces with the element of suprise your wallyness. If I may say so I think that this particular wall has the perfect level of toughness, though of course it fails to meet your majestic level of cost-effectiveness. Have pity on my feeble supplication oh master.
Have pity on my feeble supplication oh master.





I'm really not that intimidated by something that I can Smelt, Return to Dust, or Naturalize into submission. And despite its inability to breath, I can Smother it as well (what strange interactions magic has with inanimate objects).

I refuse to call a sentient Wall my master. In fact, I'm led to believe it simply has some form of an inferiority complex since it can't move around as freely as we can...without the help of an Animate Wall spell or a Wakestone Gargoyle, anyways.

Rules Advisor from 8-26-09 to 1-31-14 (haven't been able to attend any FNMs or prereleases for 18 months now, no sense maintaining RA status)
Joined the crowd and got an Avatar from zammm's Avatar Workshop on 5-6-2012

That "Dual Colors" personality test thing
IMAGE(http://stat.rumandmonkey.com/tests/1/6/5261/20806.jpg)

I am Black/Green

Take The Magic Dual Colour Test - Beta today!

Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.

I am both selfish and instinctive. I value growth and community, as long as they favour my own objectives; I enjoy nature, and I particularly enjoy watching parts of nature die. At best, I am resilient and tenacious; at worst, I'm uncontrollable and destructive.

Oh, but wait, there were multiple answers that fit my thoughts to some questions. What colors did they say I was?

IMAGE(http://stat.rumandmonkey.com/tests/1/6/5261/20801.jpg)

I am Blue/Green

I am both rational and instinctive. I value self-knowledge and understanding of the world; my ultimate goal is self-improvement and improvement of the world around me. At best, I am focused and methodical; at worst, I am obsessive and amoral.

Have pity on my feeble supplication oh master.





I'm really not that intimidated by something that I can Smelt, Return to Dust, or Naturalize into submission. And despite its inability to breath, I can Smother it as well (what strange interactions magic has with inanimate objects).

I refuse to call a sentient Wall my master. In fact, I'm led to believe it simply has some form of an inferiority complex since it can't move around as freely as we can...without the help of an Animate Wall spell or a Wakestone Gargoyle, anyways.




In time you will learn your place.

Have pity on my feeble supplication oh master.





I'm really not that intimidated by something that I can Smelt, Return to Dust, or Naturalize into submission. And despite its inability to breath, I can Smother it as well (what strange interactions magic has with inanimate objects).

I refuse to call a sentient Wall my master. In fact, I'm led to believe it simply has some form of an inferiority complex since it can't move around as freely as we can...without the help of an Animate Wall spell or a Wakestone Gargoyle, anyways.




In time you will learn your place.




Surrounded by four steel walls. One if the wall is curved and forms a circle.
Dwarven Sculptor
Creature - Dwarf Artificer
Wall creatures you control get +0/+2.
, , Sacrifice target creature: Put an X/X colorless construct artifact creature token onto the battlefield, where X is the sacrificed creature's toughness.
1/2

IMAGE(http://i1.minus.com/jbcBXM4z66fMtK.jpg)

192884403 wrote:
surely one can't say complex conditional passive language is bad grammar ?
This contest sucks ****s. I'd rather pluck a *** with my ****** and put it down your **** than supply an entry. Also, ass.
Wally, The Great Builder  

Planeswalker - Wally


[+1] : Put a 0/4 artifact creature token with Defender named Steel Wall onto the battlefield under your control.

[-2] : Search your library for a Wall card, reveal it and put that card into your hand. Shuffle your library.

[-5] : Walls you control get +X/+0 and lose Defender, where X is that walls toughness, until end of turn.

(3)
I am Blue/Black
I am Blue/Black
Take The Magic Dual Colour Test - Beta today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.
I'm both selfish and rational. I'm scheming, secretive and manipulative; I use knowledge as a tool for personal gain, and in turn obtaining more knowledge. At best, I am mysterious and stealthy; at worst, I am distrustful and opportunistic.
Darksteel Wall |
Artifact Creature - Wall
Defender
~ is indestructible and enters the battlefield tapped.
0/4
Lightning Rod
Creature - Wall
Defender
Lightning Rod may block instants and sorceries that deal damage as if they were creatures with X/1, where X is the amount of damage those spells deal.

0/3


Okay, no wait. That is dumb. Try this:

Landlock
Creature - Wall
Defender
Whenever an opponent taps a land for mana, treat it as a 3/3 attacking colorless Elemental creature that only Landlock can block.

"Going somewhere?"

0/3

I guess that'll do.

139359831 wrote:
That is a lovely painting of Richard Garfield. It really brings out his feminine side.
This contest sucks ****s. I'd rather pluck a *** with my ****** and put it down your **** than supply an entry. Also, ass.



You seem to be showing the human emotions of anger and jealousy. Probably because mom likes me more.
This contest sucks ****s. I'd rather pluck a *** with my ****** and put it down your **** than supply an entry. Also, ass.



You seem to be showing the human emotions of anger and jealousy. Probably because mom likes me more.


Mom likes your **** more.

Here's my crude card:

Wall of *****s
Creature - **** Wall
Whenever Wall of *****s blocks, it ****s target ****** creature until the end of the next ****** turn.

"***** on my ****?!"

6/9
I think this is another Keyholder contest.

IMAGE(http://i1.minus.com/jbcBXM4z66fMtK.jpg)

192884403 wrote:
surely one can't say complex conditional passive language is bad grammar ?
Who grades their contests, anyway?
I think this is another Keyholder contest.


In that case Crude Rampart is quite possibly the same person.
Steel Wall does hav a few other posts around the forums but nothing that couldn't be done up in a few hours. Plus I think this contest was post #1.
Who grades their contests, anyway?

I do, and promptly. 

@mikemearls The office is basically empty this week, which opens up all sorts of possibilities for low shenanigans

@mikemearls In essence, all those arguments I lost are being unlost. Won, if you will. We're doing it MY way, baby.

@biotech66 aren't you the boss anyway? isn't "DO IT OR I FIRE YOU!" still an option?

@mikemearls I think Perkins would throat punch me if I ever tried that. And I'd give him a glowing quarterly review for it.

Who grades their contests, anyway?

I do, and promptly. 




run a contest right now

please
Who grades their contests, anyway?

I do, and promptly. 




run a contest right now

please

I'm going to be out for the weekend, but I promise I'll come up with something for Monday.

@mikemearls The office is basically empty this week, which opens up all sorts of possibilities for low shenanigans

@mikemearls In essence, all those arguments I lost are being unlost. Won, if you will. We're doing it MY way, baby.

@biotech66 aren't you the boss anyway? isn't "DO IT OR I FIRE YOU!" still an option?

@mikemearls I think Perkins would throat punch me if I ever tried that. And I'd give him a glowing quarterly review for it.

I think this is another Keyholder contest.


In that case Crude Rampart is quite possibly the same person.
Steel Wall does hav a few other posts around the forums but nothing that couldn't be done up in a few hours. Plus I think this contest was post #1.



No, Steel Wall first appeared on the flavour and storyline boards during a thread derailing.
Ego
144902215 wrote:
Morgothra has the Syntax and Grammar of a God.
56754738 wrote:
I love this card.
56771968 wrote:
I can't compete with this.
57461258 wrote:
@Morgothra: Beautifully said, sir. Beautifully said.
Contest Winners
CKY, magicpablo666 and Dinobeer combined ingenuity and silliness to win a Summer fUn contest each! vlord beat the rest to become the architect of a better tomorrow in Build it and they will come! CityofAs pranced masterfully to victory in Skipping Merrily! ConfusedAsUsual conquered both tropes and opponents to ascend in Metafiction! FirstTurnKill condensed Success into Art form in Summing it Up!