10/31/2012 UR: "The Azorius Ten Most Wanted

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This thread is for discussion of this week's Uncharted Realms, which goes live Wednesday morning on magicthegathering.com.
So Senka is the Stealer of Secrets? I guess the Azorius made good on her flavor text. They know her name, so...condemned!
Wait, Krenko's boss is Lazav, Dimir Guildmaster?

The image says so: compare.

Either it is or it shows an incredible laziness from whoever chose the images.

IMAGE(http://i1.minus.com/jbcBXM4z66fMtK.jpg)

192884403 wrote:
surely one can't say complex conditional passive language is bad grammar ?
Lazav, being a shapeshifter, could be anyone. The evidence, however, does point a certain direction.  

The question is then- what would Lazav want with the goblin syndicate?  
Please, Jenna Helland, stop talking about Massacre Girl. She's not interesting, she has no character whatsoever, and at this point just seems like the author's pet to me.

"Look at this villain, she's so cool and despicable, she's done all these evil things and that makes her interesting!"

No, it doesn't. What makes a character interesting is not their actions, it's the reasoning behind those actions. You haven't provided anything like that yet, you're basically just spending all this time telling us how evil she apparently is - yet we still know absolutely nothing about her. If you're gonna focus on a character, that's fine. But make it more than just an amalgation of every generic psycho villain cliche ever. Make that character worth hearing about.
I agree with the above poster. When I was reading through the list and got to number 2, I tried to guess who #1 could be. I thought of characters like Niv-Mizzet, but when I saw Massacre Girl I was like "oh, her".

I don't see how you expect people to care about her, even meeting her during that Selesnya brother & sister story didn't make us know anything interesting about her. I think the sporadic and limited info we got about her via the RTR cards themselves were quite a lot more interesting than when you started making her a big character in these stories. In short, I feel like being a name in some cards flavor text is what "Massacre Girl" is best at, and you should have left her at that.

IMAGE(http://i1.minus.com/jbcBXM4z66fMtK.jpg)

192884403 wrote:
surely one can't say complex conditional passive language is bad grammar ?
I prefer the normal fantasy storytelling.


Anyway, I'm vengeful towards Rakdos, and particularly Massacre Girl, for that incident with Cecilee. That was unforgivable, and I hope she gets what's coming to her.

Do not forget, either, that she is mentioned by Vildika as her previous ringleader. Interestingly, they use the same card to represent both characters. As the story is not complete, there's a slight chance that the spoiler is Vildika becomes Massacre Girl in the conclusion through a power dispute, and leaves the Slaughter Games with all her reputation, covered up by her mystery.
I thought this was a good fit for Azorius week, and I enjoyed it. I agree that Massacre Girl is not much of an actual character so far but I don't think that's a big deal for something like this.
Massacre Girl's at the top of this list because she's stereotypical Rakdos and putting anything other than a Rakdos character at #1 would have been crazy.

As for her being an author's pet, she was a "major" character in one story before this one, in which she only appeared briefly. If anything, Krenko seems to be Jenna's signature character (Being the focus of his own story, the catalyst for Feather's disappearance/death, getting ongoing appearances in two other stories, both of which progressed his subplot), but that's alright with me, because Krenko is great and I would honestly still read the column if it just changed to "Krenko and Friends".
I get that it's cute to say that Massacre Girl's recent offenses are "all of them"... but that's a completely un-Azorius thing to say. As if an official Azorious report would ever include something so vague and careless
As for her being an author's pet, she was a "major" character in one story before this one, in which she only appeared briefly. If anything, Krenko seems to be Jenna's signature character (Being the focus of his own story, the catalyst for Feather's disappearance/death, getting ongoing appearances in two other stories, both of which progressed his subplot), but that's alright with me, because Krenko is great and I would honestly still read the column if it just changed to "Krenko and Friends".



Krenko, at least, had the character of a slimy mob enforcer.

Massacre Girl's "character" consisted mostly of "HAHAHAHAHA LOOK AT ME I AM EVIL! WATCH AS I MURDER THIS KITTEN! HAHA! SO EVIL! ALSO I AM INSANE! THIS IS INDICATED BY MY INSANE LAUGHTER OF INSANITY! HAHAHAHA!"

Sad thing is, that's more sentences than she ever spoke in the story.
feels so dry
feels so dry



Feels like an Azorius 10 most wanted report.  What do you expect from a guild that is basically part bureaucracy part court.  It may be dry, but that is likely the point.

I found the article fairly interesting. 
IMAGE(http://pwp.wizards.com/1205820039/Scorecards/Landscape.png)
I love the way Jenna's been tying stories together over time; it really adds a lot of depth, making it feel like the characters go on even when we're not watching.

Come join me at No Goblins Allowed


Because frankly, being here depresses me these days.

I got a chuckle out of this, particularly the "Non-ritualistic cannibalism" line.

Cannabilism's perfectly legal if you mumble some phrases and draw some runes first.  XD 

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Massacre Girl's "character" consisted mostly of "HAHAHAHAHA LOOK AT ME I AM EVIL! WATCH AS I MURDER THIS KITTEN! HAHA! SO EVIL! ALSO I AM INSANE! THIS IS INDICATED BY MY INSANE LAUGHTER OF INSANITY! HAHAHAHA!"

Sad thing is, that's more sentences than she ever spoke in the story.

Hey, I never said she was interesting, but I still wouldn't call her an author's pet; an author's pet is usually a character given more focus and attention, while Massacre Girl was a supporting character in one story and got an entry in a list full of other references to characters.
Hey, I never said she was interesting, but I still wouldn't call her an author's pet; an author's pet is usually a character given more focus and attention, while Massacre Girl was a supporting character in one story and got an entry in a list full of other references to characters.



And keeps getting mentioned in other stories where we get told how awesomely evil she is. Also, that entry was number one. Rakdos himself isn't even on the list. I bet he goes to sleep every night thinking "Man, I wish I was as cool and evil as Massacre Girl!"
Could also be a case of the Azorius looking in the wrong place for "absolute biggest threat to Ravnica" (and Rakdos himself not quite being awake at the moment this list was drawn up). Massacre Girl (and her copycats--the question is how many Azorius even KNOW about the copycats, and thus aren't conflating all their crimes together) go out of their way to make their mayhem and crimes noticeable. Which means that when it comes time to choose, they get precedence over (the not-quite-as-visible) Ruzi, Krenko, and Damir. Who are the ones the Azorius should REALLY be concentrating on if they want Ravnica to keep existing.

Speaking of Damir...I wonder if he's connected to the Old Gods. A bit of the flavor text from Blessing of the Nephilim seems germane here. The power of the nephilim (i.e. the lesser servants of the Old Gods. I don't know whether the Old Gods are properly called Eldrazi--probably not, but...--Grigori, Anunnaki, Igigi, Utukki, or something else altogether. Point is, not Nephilim, but still connected in some way) was said to be gathering even before the first elf-child was born. ("Before the first stone was laid" is too ambiguous; it's not certain whether it's referring to glacial deposition or a road stone) Now remember that Damir plans to reverse time. What if, despite what the Azorius say, his vendetta isn't just against humanity, but non-eldritch life as a whole? The "mass murder" isn't referring to people who knew too much (Enemy of the Guildpact) or plants (Earth Surge--Damir doesn't strike me as the Cult of Yore type), but the suffocating Old Gods. Even Hunted Lammasu refers to the lammasu having "ancient enemies", and "Horror" means "every bit as eldritch as the nephilim". And rewriting physical and metaphysical laws at a whim...well, when you consider that Lovecraftian pseudo-divinities were supposed to be partly outside this universe's definition of "physical" (exotic matter et al.), that means they could escape having to cohere to at least some physical laws...You know, like Damir likes to.

My pet hypothesis of Mat'Selesnya being a renegade Old God who sided with mortals over her kin is starting to gain ground. What if Damir ultimately plans to reverse time to just before Tiamat'Selesnya's Heel Face Turn, and destroy her before she can go through with it? Without her aid, the "murder" of the Old Gods by the guilds can't go through.

(Jace vs. Damir, with Jace saddled with a don't-draw-Vraska-Jarad-or-Niv-Mizzet's-attention handicap. Round one...FIGHT!)
I like how the article drew attention to the common cards in RtR. I'm not sure if Senka's alias actually is "Stealer of Secrets" but whenever I look at the card now I'll think of her as a specific indivual rather than a nameless creature. Like a legend but not
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