Stupid things players do

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   Here are some of those situations:


#1

DM: You're carrying too much stuff, you better buy a mule for that.


P: I see, but I have many things already, how much does the mule weights?    


Result: still hurts when I remember that.


#2


DM: Okay, you enter the tavern, now what're you going to do?


P: I ask the bartender for a diet coke.


Result: Closed my book and left.






      
Player, who was bored because it had been a few minutes (real time) since we had combat, and the other players were talking to an NPC: I want to use my breath weapon.

DM: You shouldn't do that in this room because of all the flammable vapors, remember?

Player: I don't care; I have fire resistance.

DM: No one else has fire resistance. You're really sure you'll catch the whole room on fire if you try it.

Player: I'll stand close to the wall where there's no vapor.

DM: It's gas. It fills the room.

Player: I do it anyway.

Result: Everyone except the Dragonborn takes fire damage, and the NPC they just rescued gets killed by it. 
I had a group of players once who were playing a campaign starting adventure.  The premise was that a city they were in got attacked by highly trained and highly disciplined orcs, which was unusual.  They also bore the red hand banner and so on.  Anyway I kept pushing that they were a highly disciplined military force that seemed to have some kind of evil force driving them.  They didn't seem to be behaving like orcs would, no plundering, no random killing, etc..  Just go into the city, grab what they were sent for and leave the way they came.  So the PC's go their main base and knock on the front door...

lol
"Non nobis Domine Sed nomini tuo da gloriam" "I wish for death not because I want to die, but because I seek the war eternal"

IMAGE(http://www.nodiatis.com/pub/19.jpg)

JTheta,



omg. I got that a lot, players trying their best to get themselves killed or the mission ruined. Mainly cuz' of that "I don't care" policy they just love to follow.



Noctaem,


that's just sad. It frustates the DM. We try to create a nice plot and scenario for them to explore and they're just so blind. 




Level 2 rogue tried to pickpocket the level 16 NPC paladin they were traveling with. ...no joke.

Later on towards the end of that same session, the two PCs drag cursed gold all the way back to town (Despite the fact it was heavily damaging their ability scores and probably couldn't have carried it anyway) and tried to get the curse removed. The temple tells them that the only cleric that can do it is currently out of town and will be back in a few weeks. ...what do they do? Curse the temple by putting some in the donation box. Curse the beggars on the street by throwing it out on the streets and watching them fight over it. Then curse the town by throwing some in the town fountain. -.-

They were run out of town that night by guards and a mob with pitchforks and torches. 
My username should actually read: Lunar Savage (damn you WotC!) *Tips top hat, adjusts monocle, and walks away with cane* and yes, that IS Mr. Peanut laying unconscious on the curb. http://asylumjournals.tumblr.com/
LunarSavage



lol. that was funny. At least you got some fun time with your player characters "wisdom".
  
LunarSavage



lol. that was funny. At least you got some fun time with your player characters "wisdom".
  



...I've got a hundred of them where that came from.

Ever seen players kill a sailor that literally saved their lives by getting them off a deserted island in the ocean? And why do they do this? To get the remaining 2 XP they need for level up. -.-

Nevermind the fact they could have just used him as a follower to carry their crap. *facepalm* 
My username should actually read: Lunar Savage (damn you WotC!) *Tips top hat, adjusts monocle, and walks away with cane* and yes, that IS Mr. Peanut laying unconscious on the curb. http://asylumjournals.tumblr.com/
The player's Aasimar paladin is called on the floor by the high priest of his church - the church of the courageous warrior of righteous battle. The high priest is like King Arthur, Sir Lancelot, Thor and the Pope all rolled into one.

High Priest: You made sacred vows that you were willing to undergo the most dangerous of quests and you would set the example of courage necessary to face the demons and devils who have taken over our sacred city. These things you promised and thus I have used my authority to grant you church resources - the holy waters and the prayer beads, the holy artifacts and other weapons that were given because of your sacred promises to destroy these evils, even if it should mean your life. Promises made in this very spot beneath the Warrior's Stern Gaze. And yet... your party has come to me and each has related tales of being abandoned in combat so you could loot treasure or left to face these fiends alone as you fled to safety with the holy weapons that might aid in victory. I must ask that you return the warrior's blade to the altar so that it may be given to a warrior who better exemplifies the Righteous Warrior until you repent of breaking that sacred vow and again prove that you have the courage of your conviction. Please hand over the sword until you have read these scrolls which recalls what a Paladin of the Courageous Order of the Ruby Lions stands for.

Player: I'm an aasimar. I came from the heavenly realms. I don't have to listen to you. If you want it... come claim it.

High Priest: I'm the High Priest-Avatar of the war god who sent you. The Red One sent you at my request because of the mound of my enemies weapons that I used to create the statue we are standing in the shadow of when I built this temple so that I could train warriors. If you won't listen to me, the man who took you in as an orphan and gave you your starting equipment, trained you in every skill you know and crafted the very weapons I'm wanting returned to me........ If you won't listen to me....I'll send you back!
A rogue with a bowl of slop can be a controller. WIZARD PC: Can I substitute Celestial Roc Guano for my fireball spells? DM: Awesome. Yes. When in doubt, take action.... that's generally the best course. Even Sun Tsu knew that, and he didn't have internets.
Played something other than a cleric, druid, or wizard in 3e.
Another day, another three or four entries to my Ignore List.
Played something other than a cleric, druid, or wizard in 3e.



lol Salla
"Non nobis Domine Sed nomini tuo da gloriam" "I wish for death not because I want to die, but because I seek the war eternal"

IMAGE(http://www.nodiatis.com/pub/19.jpg)

"I'm at 8 hp, yes?
That mechanical spider is in a cloud of poison gas that does 10 hp at the start of my turn?
CHARGE!"

4 out of my 5 players spent time making death saves that combat...
if I had been in that game I would have high fived the charging character as he went by me to his death.  Then followed with my own charge screaming "LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOYYYYYY  JAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNSSSSS" at the top of my lungs for a battle cry.
"Non nobis Domine Sed nomini tuo da gloriam" "I wish for death not because I want to die, but because I seek the war eternal"

IMAGE(http://www.nodiatis.com/pub/19.jpg)

Player, who was bored because it had been a few minutes (real time) since we had combat, and the other players were talking to an NPC: I want to use my breath weapon.

DM: You shouldn't do that in this room because of all the flammable vapors, remember?

Player: I don't care; I have fire resistance.

DM: No one else has fire resistance. You're really sure you'll catch the whole room on fire if you try it.

Player: I'll stand close to the wall where there's no vapor.

DM: It's gas. It fills the room.

Player: I do it anyway.

Result: Everyone except the Dragonborn takes fire damage, and the NPC they just rescued gets killed by it. 



The lesson here is to keep your players interested.  When you start boring them, bad things happen.


The lesson here is to keep your players interested.  When you start boring them, bad things happen.



Heh. I rely on my players to keep ME interested. I'm the one that says to them "I'm bored. Do something!"

I'm on a journey of enlightenment, learning and self-improvement. A journey towards mastery. A journey that will never end. If you challenge me, prepare to be challenged. If you have something to offer as a fellow student, I will accept it. If you call yourself a master, prepare to be humbled. If you seek me, look to the path. I will be traveling it.

 

Proudly playing in many wrong ways. I'm not afraid of playing wrong according to the rules. Why are you?

 

100 Crack Reply of the Yagamifire. You are already wrong.

This was done by me, and it is technically from Vampire: The Requiem but I think it relates to the subject matter. I was playing a member of the Circle of the Crone in a city pretty much controlled by the Lancea Sanctum, so I was not a well-liked person. The Circle had been pretty much wiped out, and the only reason I was around was because of a vision the rest of the all-Sanctum party had recieved about me being instrumental in finding the last piece of their most sacred relic, the spear of destiny. If it wasn't for that, I would literally have been killed on the spot for being a dirty witchcraft-practicing heretic. Well, one time we all drive up to Carthian hang-out, and they all get out and tell my character, "stay here, were going in, we'll be back out in a few." Being the careful person that I am, I look around for anything out of the ordinary.

Well, I get a really good roll on my wits+composure and see this shady-looking guy standing in a nearby alleyway, and I see he is watching this car. Well, I hear a fight break out in the bar, so I jump out of the car and go over to that guy to talk to him, because I think he has something to do with this fight. Now, before I go any further, let me tell you about this fun little spell called Touch of the Morrigan. It is cast in ritual long beforehand, and depending on your roll (a total dice pool of 14 is pretty high, and this is what I had, but I burned willpower to bump it up to 17) it does damage. I ended up rolling something retarded like 8 or 9 successes, and most normal people have 7-8 health, and the damage is delivered via touch attack, so I was basically packing a massively over-amped taser in my right palm.

Well, I go up to this guy, I say hi. He just grunts at me. I ask him what he's doing here. He tells me to piss off. I say sorry, not looking for trouble, and offer my hand for a shake. Well, when he goes to shake, I touch attack him, and deliver the incantation. He is knocked unconscious. Now, vampires in Requiem can tell other vampires via supernatural sense, so we both knew what we were. Well, the storyteller gave me a free roll before I attacked him, it was another perception roll. I didn't see anything. He gave me another one after I hit him. I saw a sanctum tattoo on his body. Turns out, he was sent there to help us, or at least keep an eye on us, but sanctum members are loyal first and foremost to their own. I thought to myself, "When this guy wakes up, I am going to be six kinds of screwed." So I just wailed on him until his health filled up with aggravated damage and put him in final death, and prayed that no one would find out in time to challenge me before I established my own power base.

For another one, this was one of my players and it was D&D, a group of about 5-6 characters were underground in a deep gnome settlement. Well, one of the players was playing a half-orc barbarian named "Billy." An odd name given the setting, but that was what he chose. Well, Billy liked to drink. At one point, Billy found some strange mushrooms growing under-ground while he was drunk. Billy wasn't too bright, but he was smart about a couple things, and knew that these things could be poisonous. So, to figure out if eating them would kill him, get him high (what he was hoping for, and by he I mean the player) or just really not do a whole lot, he found a gnome child, and tried to convince the child to eat them. Well, they didn't kill the kid, but they definitely ruined his week, as they made him violently ill, which really pissed off his parents and the authorities, and that whole city was already xenophobic enough. If the Paladin in the group hadn't have calmed things down, the whole group would have been fighting a small army of gnomes.
My players went to the local tavern and rented a room. In the night the Rogue got up to murder everyone in te inn/tavern and steal there stuff. Needless to say he was having trouble and the Dragonborn in his wisdom decides to help out by setting the inn on fire, and then getting to the main floor by hurling himself through some mostly burned boards.


Needless to say all the Inns and Taverns are made out of stone now. 
My players went to the local tavern and rented a room. In the night the Rogue got up to murder everyone in te inn/tavern and steal there stuff. Needless to say he was having trouble and the Dragonborn in his wisdom decides to help out by setting the inn on fire, and then getting to the main floor by hurling himself through some mostly burned boards.


Needless to say all the Inns and Taverns are made out of stone now. 



LMAO Wow that is an evil pair of characters. Slightly bumbling...but evil.

I'm on a journey of enlightenment, learning and self-improvement. A journey towards mastery. A journey that will never end. If you challenge me, prepare to be challenged. If you have something to offer as a fellow student, I will accept it. If you call yourself a master, prepare to be humbled. If you seek me, look to the path. I will be traveling it.

 

Proudly playing in many wrong ways. I'm not afraid of playing wrong according to the rules. Why are you?

 

100 Crack Reply of the Yagamifire. You are already wrong.

The lesson here is to keep your players interested.  When you start boring them, bad things happen.



I spent most of that campaign trying to figure out a way to keep that one player interested that didn't involve continuous combat. 
I was the DM in this one (3.5 D&D).

The party was acting as escort to an ambassador during a peace mission in enemy land. It was the evening before the peace summit, they were all chilling out at the embassy and they decided to have some fun. They started doing the usual stuff: drinking contests, armwrestling tournaments, the bard was performing...nothing out of the ordinary.

Late in the evening, their cleric decided to set up a "show" for his comrades: he started harming himself with offensive spells, almost to the point of killing himself and then he just healed up with healing spells. He kept doing that until he was completely out of spells slots. I guess the point of this masochistic display was to show how impervious to pain and badass his character was. It was kinda creepy, honestly.

But the bad part for the party, is that a group of assassins attacked them that very night to foil the peace negotiations. And of course, the cleric was completely out of spells. Several characters died because of this. They were really pissed off with the cleric's player 
I was the DM in this one (3.5 D&D).

The party was acting as escort to an ambassador during a peace mission in enemy land. It was the evening before the peace summit, they were all chilling out at the embassy and they decided to have some fun. They started doing the usual stuff: drinking contests, armwrestling tournaments, the bard was performing...nothing out of the ordinary.

Late in the evening, their cleric decided to set up a "show" for his comrades: he started harming himself with offensive spells, almost to the point of killing himself and then he just healed up with healing spells. He kept doing that until he was completely out of spells slots. I guess the point of this masochistic display was to show how impervious to pain and badass his character was. It was kinda creepy, honestly.

But the bad part for the party, is that a group of assassins attacked them that very night to foil the peace negotiations. And of course, the cleric was completely out of spells. Several characters died because of this. They were really pissed off with the cleric's player 



Y'know, when you can just heal yourself it kinda takes the excitement out of self-flagellation haha

I'm on a journey of enlightenment, learning and self-improvement. A journey towards mastery. A journey that will never end. If you challenge me, prepare to be challenged. If you have something to offer as a fellow student, I will accept it. If you call yourself a master, prepare to be humbled. If you seek me, look to the path. I will be traveling it.

 

Proudly playing in many wrong ways. I'm not afraid of playing wrong according to the rules. Why are you?

 

100 Crack Reply of the Yagamifire. You are already wrong.

Oh, right. I just remembered. From the current game I'm running...about 3 sessions ago.

The fighter and the psion are locked in a prison cell after burning down a crime scene they were secretly hired to investigate by the captain of the guard. During the investigation, they found a locket that was a key clue to the murders. After accidentally burning down the crime scene due to rash decisions, they are locked up in a cell for the night after the captain denies ever hiring them to do any such investigating. That night, they are approached by a corrupt guard who wants the locket.

After they literally debate the situation for about ten minutes and fail to convince the guard to leave them alone, the fighter looks at me with the most serious look on his face and says "I swallow the locket".

That did not end well... 
My username should actually read: Lunar Savage (damn you WotC!) *Tips top hat, adjusts monocle, and walks away with cane* and yes, that IS Mr. Peanut laying unconscious on the curb. http://asylumjournals.tumblr.com/
Oh, right. I just remembered. From the current game I'm running...about 3 sessions ago.

The fighter and the psion are locked in a prison cell after burning down a crime scene they were secretly hired to investigate by the captain of the guard. During the investigation, they found a locket that was a key clue to the murders. After accidentally burning down the crime scene due to rash decisions, they are locked up in a cell for the night after the captain denies ever hiring them to do any such investigating. That night, they are approached by a corrupt guard who wants the locket.

After they literally debate the situation for about ten minutes and fail to convince the guard to leave them alone, the fighter looks at me with the most serious look on his face and says "I swallow the locket".

That did not end well... 


What's up with PCs and setting things on fire? it seems to be their preferred solution to everything...Undecided
Oh, right. I just remembered. From the current game I'm running...about 3 sessions ago.

The fighter and the psion are locked in a prison cell after burning down a crime scene they were secretly hired to investigate by the captain of the guard. During the investigation, they found a locket that was a key clue to the murders. After accidentally burning down the crime scene due to rash decisions, they are locked up in a cell for the night after the captain denies ever hiring them to do any such investigating. That night, they are approached by a corrupt guard who wants the locket.

After they literally debate the situation for about ten minutes and fail to convince the guard to leave them alone, the fighter looks at me with the most serious look on his face and says "I swallow the locket".

That did not end well... 


What's up with PCs and setting things on fire? it seems to be their preferred solution to everything...



Well, this had more to do with their lack of attempt to put the fire they caused out in the first place. It wasn't done intentionally. But they damn well didn't do anything to stop it. Though, they could have. *facepalm*
My username should actually read: Lunar Savage (damn you WotC!) *Tips top hat, adjusts monocle, and walks away with cane* and yes, that IS Mr. Peanut laying unconscious on the curb. http://asylumjournals.tumblr.com/
I was a player in this one, and was the rogue.

The group was in a large, dwarven chapel-like area with several anterooms on opposite sides. The first one we came to was locked. I succesfully picked it, and we went in and plundered.

The next room, not to be outdone, the half-orc paladin decided he was going to force the door.  So he gets prepped, tells the DM he's going to kick it open, and makes his check. The DM replies, 'You give the door a mighty kick, but it wins. You fall on the floor, writhing in pain. Your entire leg feels like it has been hit with a sledgehammer.'

Turns out that not only was this door an exceptionally stout dwarf-made stone door, but it was also a 'pull' door. And it wasn't even locked.

We joked the next week when the player couldn't make the session, that his character was missing because he was back in town with his leg in a cast. 

 A long time ago I was running a game for a group that included several engineers and a physics grad student. They're crossing a chasm on this really thin ice bridge that's creaking and groaning, but isn't supposed to be dangerous, just scary...
 Until one of the players gets a curious look on his face and asks for the exact dimensions of the bridge.

 He then pulls out a calculator, punches a few buttons and casually mentions that, technically, an unsupported something-like-500-ft-long six-inch-thick ice bridge with dramatically large cracks in it couldn't actually support the weight of the entire eight-man party and their horses.

 They all immediately began rolling up new characters and restarted the adventure. (God I hate engineers, lol.)

Show

I am the Magic Man.

(Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.)

 

I am the Lawnmower Man.

(I AM GOD HERE!)

 

I am the Skull God.

(Koo Koo Ka Choo)

 

There are reasons they call me Mad...


 A long time ago I was running a game for a group that included several engineers and a physics grad student. They're crossing a chasm on this really thin ice bridge that's creaking and groaning, but isn't supposed to be dangerous, just scary...
 Until one of the players gets a curious look on his face and asks for the exact dimensions of the bridge.

 He then pulls out a calculator, punches a few buttons and casually mentions that, technically, an unsupported something-like-500-ft-long six-inch-thick ice bridge with dramatically large cracks in it couldn't actually support the weight of the entire eight-man party and their horses.

 They all immediately began rolling up new characters and restarted the adventure. (God I hate engineers, lol.)




"It stays up, because magic."
Another day, another three or four entries to my Ignore List.

 Not for these guys. They're engineers. They unanimously declared a volutary TPK - I got outvoted: I was all like, "Aw, c'mon, guys, really?"...
I tried talking them out of it but they didn't want to hear it. So I had to completely restart the adventure.

Show

I am the Magic Man.

(Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.)

 

I am the Lawnmower Man.

(I AM GOD HERE!)

 

I am the Skull God.

(Koo Koo Ka Choo)

 

There are reasons they call me Mad...

I've had my share of sessions when players do silly things, it's just all part of the adventure. But there's always consequences for a PC's actions, even if players judgement is affected by sugar, coffee, fatigue, boredom, sickness, carelessness or impulsiveness. Depending on the rpg system you play with it is sometimes expected to bring the game to life.

My example is the group saves two wounded women from a giant lizard. Then after the battle two of the players like the barbarian woman's big shinny sword and try to take it from her. The rest of the party leave them to their folly. Both PC's get knocked down to zero by a NPC who is 10 level's higher and meant to be an ally. No poweful ally for the PC's now, you have an enemy.

 Not for these guys. They're engineers. They unanimously declared a volutary TPK - I got outvoted: I was all like, "Aw, c'mon, guys, really?"...
I tried talking them out of it but they didn't want to hear it. So I had to completely restart the adventure.



That's what you get with people who stuggle with breaking reality and adventuring in a fantasy world. Still your group has developed into a team and made a democratic decision, even if you find it ridiculous. It's funny, but their assessment of the situation doesn't seem that silly, lol.

 Not for these guys. They're engineers. They unanimously declared a volutary TPK - I got outvoted: I was all like, "Aw, c'mon, guys, really?"...
I tried talking them out of it but they didn't want to hear it. So I had to completely restart the adventure.



That's what you get with people who stuggle with breaking reality and adventuring in a fantasy world. Still your group has developed into a team and made a democratic decision, even if you find it ridiculous. It's funny, but their assessment of the situation doesn't seem that silly, lol.



Actually, it did, and here's why.

"It stays up, because magic."

So long as it meshes with the rest of the world's rules (this is known as internal consistentcy) then there should have been no problem. Personally I would have been kind of irritated that I did all that work designing that adventure for nothing.


 Not for these guys. They're engineers. They unanimously declared a volutary TPK - I got outvoted: I was all like, "Aw, c'mon, guys, really?"...
I tried talking them out of it but they didn't want to hear it. So I had to completely restart the adventure.



That's what you get with people who stuggle with breaking reality and adventuring in a fantasy world. Still your group has developed into a team and made a democratic decision, even if you find it ridiculous. It's funny, but their assessment of the situation doesn't seem that silly, lol.



Actually, it did, and here's why.

"It stays up, because magic."

So long as it meshes with the rest of the world's rules (this is known as internal consistentcy) then there should have been no problem. Personally I would have been kind of irritated that I did all that work designing that adventure for nothing.




This.  If they TPKd it wouldn't be because the voted my bridge collapsed under the weight.  Wouldnt be happening.

 Not for these guys. They're engineers. They unanimously declared a volutary TPK - I got outvoted: I was all like, "Aw, c'mon, guys, really?"...
I tried talking them out of it but they didn't want to hear it. So I had to completely restart the adventure.

That's what you get with people who stuggle with breaking reality and adventuring in a fantasy world. Still your group has developed into a team and made a democratic decision, even if you find it ridiculous. It's funny, but their assessment of the situation doesn't seem that silly, lol.

Actually, it did, and here's why.

"It stays up, because magic."

So long as it meshes with the rest of the world's rules (this is known as internal consistentcy) then there should have been no problem. Personally I would have been kind of irritated that I did all that work designing that adventure for nothing.

This.  If they TPKd it wouldn't be because the voted my bridge collapsed under the weight.  Wouldnt be happening.

As described, I think it was a vote in favor of "we like the campaign but want new characters".

After all, (a) they were all ready to start making new characters, and (b) the DM said he had to start the campaign over - not make a new one.

"The world does not work the way you have been taught it does. We are not real as such; we exist within The Story. Unfortunately for you, you have inherited a condition from your mother known as Primary Protagonist Syndrome, which means The Story is interested in you. It will find you, and if you are not ready for the narrative strands it will throw at you..." - from Footloose

 No, they didn't want new characters. It was just that, to them, clearly the bridge would have logically collapsed, and being the type of people they were they weren't going to be willing to accept "it's a magic bridge" or "because the DM said so" as a reason to not do something that seemed logical to them. All but one of them just pretty much remade the same character with a few minor changes (mostly different backstories), while the last one chose to simply hit the reset button and used the exact same character.
And I simply rewound the tape and restarted the adventure from the beginning, I didn't rewrite an entire campaign.

Show

I am the Magic Man.

(Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.)

 

I am the Lawnmower Man.

(I AM GOD HERE!)

 

I am the Skull God.

(Koo Koo Ka Choo)

 

There are reasons they call me Mad...

So what happens when they get back to the bridge?

 One of the players (the one who kept the same character) whose character backstory included being from a mountainous region (albeit from a temperate region without snow) asked to make an Int check to realize they should rope themselves together and proceed across one at a time. Despite not having particularly high non-physical stats he made his roll, so they crossed the bridge without it collapsing...

Show

I am the Magic Man.

(Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.)

 

I am the Lawnmower Man.

(I AM GOD HERE!)

 

I am the Skull God.

(Koo Koo Ka Choo)

 

There are reasons they call me Mad...

I wonder what minor inconvenience will cause them to restart/reroll next. /False Snarkiness.
They probably wouldn't have accepted it, but one approach might have been to say, "Yes, according to that math, it should have collapsed. For some reason it's not. Your character would be wondering about that if he had a calculator."
There is a large indentation that swoops into the ground, in the center of the clearing.
-One Dragonborn goes into the indentation-
Nothing out of the ordinary happens.
-Another Dragonborn, my Pixie on shoulder, walks into the indentation-
Nothing appears to happen.
-Shade on a mighty, mighty Dire Wolf Mount proceeds to walk onto the indentation-
The weight is too much, and the ground collapses beneath you!
-Everyone makes a check, nobody falls to their doom-


Later, during a dungeon encounter...
-Everyone sees that a big orc has walked in an L shaped pattern to get towards the player characters.-
-Some of us find it odd that he did not take the most direct route to assault the Pixie-
-Later in the encounter, a character rushes across said area, nearly falling into a pit full of dogs-

Always right, 102% of the time.

When a player questions logic in a fantasy game.

Dammit we're in a land filled with dragons that can defy gravity, magical portals that transport you straight to hell and small midgets that can turn into bears....yet the fact a bullet can pierce magical cloth is the thing that causes you to question the world???
hmm...facepalm moments...

Well, one comes to mind. The players had just landed on an island and where going to talk to an oracle of the earth. One wanted to get down from the crows nest FAST, so he was going to swing down on a rope. Not slide, swing. He did so, fumbled, flipped through the air, and crushed the oracles shack. The group got to spend the next several hours building him a new one. 

 No, they didn't want new characters. It was just that, to them, clearly the bridge would have logically collapsed, and being the type of people they were they weren't going to be willing to accept "it's a magic bridge" or "because the DM said so" as a reason to not do something that seemed logical to them. All but one of them just pretty much remade the same character with a few minor changes (mostly different backstories), while the last one chose to simply hit the reset button and used the exact same character.
And I simply rewound the tape and restarted the adventure from the beginning, I didn't rewrite an entire campaign.

The campaign was fine... just change 'bridge' to 'broken bridge with corpses beneath'.

Perhaps they should make characters with a little more bridge-savvy. Everyone knows to look for trolls under rustic foot-bridges. Or learn to cross shoddy bridges one-at-a-time.

- Uggh... the reset button.

Next time they cross a bridge, give brilliant descriptions of all the neat engineering wonders that insure it's safety. As they reach the middle, explain 'illusion'. Then add 'illusionary bridge with corpses beneath'. Don't worry about 1st level TPK... eventually there will be enough salvagable equipment under that bridge to attract a dragon.
A rogue with a bowl of slop can be a controller. WIZARD PC: Can I substitute Celestial Roc Guano for my fireball spells? DM: Awesome. Yes. When in doubt, take action.... that's generally the best course. Even Sun Tsu knew that, and he didn't have internets.