Funny character concepts

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Surely I'm not the first person to get a thread going on this subject. If it exists somewhere that people know about, please redirect me.

Otherwise, I'm looking for some hilarious character concepts you've come across.

For instance, in our current game there is a sorceror who has his book chained to him with manacles and he beleives he is a holy man (although his Religion is untrained and 4).

I've met a warforged druid made of wood, and a bugbear bard that dresses like a jester clown and attempts to sing Latin pop songs...His name is Macarena. I'm sure you can guess what his friends say to him when they see him on the street.

(Seeing the player role playing his bugbear throat-singing songs like macarena is both frightening and hilarious.)

Please add your experiences in this matter.
ty in advance
I once played a Bugbear named Skronk who was a poor fighter, so his clan made him dig and clean out "waste"-holes with a shovel.
Skronk hated the stench and filth, so he attached the shovel to a length of rope to try and empty out the holes from a distance.
After some time he became quite skilled at this.
On the clan's next raid, Skronk used his shovel-throwing skills to great effect, cleaving through scores of enemies without them ever getting close.

His background story goes on, but this part was the foundation for his combat style: gouge-throwing ranger (using the "hungry spear"enchantment).
I am currently playing a human socrerer, Jamroar. She has luscious hair and loves to reiforce this fact by flipping her hair after every spellcast.
 
Both of the characters I'm playing are fairly amusing:

- Brickyard Lot, a gladiator-wizard in Dark Sun who pretends he's dumb as a pile of kank poodoo. He does more melee than magic and loves eating fruits, even if they're obviously poisonous. His face looks like he's been beaten with a bag of nickels.

- Friar Griftheart, an elderly seer-cleric in Madness at Gardmore Abbey who is really an old grifter trying to score the Deck of Many Things. He's running a grift on the party's witch right now (who holds a majority of the cards), trying to convince him that you can't use the deck until you have the mysterious 23rd card, Rules for the Deck of Many Things, which comes with the deck and most people foolishly throw away. Friar Griftheart claims to have this card, but it's really an expert forgery.
Both of the characters I'm playing are fairly amusing:

- Brickyard Lot, a gladiator-wizard in Dark Sun who pretends he's dumb as a pile of kank poodoo. He does more melee than magic and loves eating fruits, even if they're obviously poisonous. His face looks like he's been beaten with a bag of nickels.

- Friar Griftheart, an elderly seer-cleric in Madness at Gardmore Abbey who is really an old grifter trying to score the Deck of Many Things. He's running a grift on the party's witch right now (who holds a majority of the cards), trying to convince him that you can't use the deck until you have the mysterious 23rd card, Rules for the Deck of Many Things, which comes with the deck and most people foolishly throw away. Friar Griftheart claims to have this card, but it's really an expert forgery.

I'm currently playing a Sir Erik Murdock, a particularly cold, calculating, evil knight. He never personally DOES anything evil, but he is an advisor to another player character, Michael Corbin, younger brother to the Prince Edgar Corbin. His advice to the prince is so over-the-top evil that it has become hilarious.

For instance, during a hostage negotiation for his older brother, the Heir-apparent Edgar Corbin, whose recent wedding sealed an alliance between a neighboring kingdom, he was given the choice of a prisoner exchange. He could exchange all of his own prisoners for Edgar or for quite a few of his loyal bannermen's sons. Sir Erik's advice?

"Well, if you aren't opposed to marrying your brother's widow, you could improve the loyalty of your bannermen, secure your alliance with the neighboring kingdom AND become heir to the throne all at once. If you are opposed to marrying your brother's widow, you could still keep the other kingdom in line by making her your hostage. If your brother's memory means that much to you... Tell me, your Grace... how's the hunting in the Principality?"
A rogue with a bowl of slop can be a controller. WIZARD PC: Can I substitute Celestial Roc Guano for my fireball spells? DM: Awesome. Yes. When in doubt, take action.... that's generally the best course. Even Sun Tsu knew that, and he didn't have internets.
A friend of mine DM'd a group with a necrophiliac necromancer...Kinda funny and really ****ed up.
I recently played as Major-General Stanley from the Pirates of Penzance.

My backup character was Captain Corcoran of the Pinafore.
DM advice: 1. Do a Session Zero. 2. Start With Action. 3. Always say "Yes" to player ideas. 4. Don't build railroads. 5. Make success, failure, and middling rolls interesting. Player advice: 1. Don't be a dick. 2. Build off each other, don't block each other. 3. You're supposed to be a badass. Act like it. Take risks. My poorly updated blog: http://engineeredfun.wordpress.com/
I've played as a halfling barbarian, weilding a two-handed short-sword called "Ankle Biter." In the same campaign we had an illusionist that was super vain and used all his spells to make himself look better. There was also a half-orc cleric cursed to wear a pink choker that turned him into a half-orc-mermaid when he went underwater...

You know, I'm also playing an escaped slave revenant monk that "escaped" the Raven Queen's realm by cutting the "reincarnation" line. My group's pretty loose with the rules I guess, but it's all in good fun.

I found Carmen Sandiego before you were born unless you're Zlehtnoba.

A totally stolen concept, but GOLEM, my gnome in a warforged suit.  It stands for genius-operated living exoskeletal mechanism.

I am Iron Gnome.
Harrying your Prey, the Easy Way: A Hunter's Handbook - the first of what will hopefully be many CharOp efforts on my part. The Blinker - teleport everywhere. An Eladrin Knight/Eldritch Knight. CB != rules source.
I'm running a pixie fighter (slayer) with melee training dex and a pickaxe. My battle cry? "Go For The Jugular!"

His name is Cottonwood The Mighty.
Another cool character concept that I plan to play soon is Jerusalem S.L.I.M. (Sentient Living Intelligent Machine), a warforged bard.  He's part Bender, part Jesus, and part Enjolras from Les Miserables.

"Do you hear the robots sing, singing the song of angry droids..."
DM advice: 1. Do a Session Zero. 2. Start With Action. 3. Always say "Yes" to player ideas. 4. Don't build railroads. 5. Make success, failure, and middling rolls interesting. Player advice: 1. Don't be a dick. 2. Build off each other, don't block each other. 3. You're supposed to be a badass. Act like it. Take risks. My poorly updated blog: http://engineeredfun.wordpress.com/
None of my current batch are too whimsical, but some are amusing nonetheless.

Rumble is a str/int earthsoul/sandsoul genasi berserker with the Unseelie theme. She's in a feywild campaign, so she is fluffed as the consciousness of an ancient mountain, furious at the Fomorians for mining out her innards. both her defender aura and her shadow-wrought heavy war pick are fluffed as sand seeping out of her, condensing into the pick when she needs it, and swirling around her getting in foes eyes (def aura). When she is finished with her pick for the fights, she opens her mouth too-wide and drops it down her throat. She has 3/encounter surge value in THP, and fluffs them as sand plugging the holes which have been carved into her sides.

Possibly more amusing is my fire elementalist who is convinced that she is a priestess of Amaunator, but whose fires tend to burn rather than heal.
My other comedy concept is the Pixie Brawler Fighter/Monk who hits you with his 1d12 fists.  He is called Bellflower, but what's it to ya, bigjob?!
Harrying your Prey, the Easy Way: A Hunter's Handbook - the first of what will hopefully be many CharOp efforts on my part. The Blinker - teleport everywhere. An Eladrin Knight/Eldritch Knight. CB != rules source.
i've discovered the fun of taking a class, a race, and a theme, with at least ONE of those being a complete opposite of the others.

My current character (detailed in the favorite characters thread) is a human brawler fighter with the WIZARD APPRENTICE theme!  he has average intelligence, but because he has an arcane power (the chromatic orb power from the theme) that he uses EVERY fight and uses big words with....mediocre accuracy, he constantly has his party convinced he's a really tough wizard or at least a multi-talented person.  His smart speech is an affectation, and he will usually mispronounce a word, or use a wrong word when he's trying to sound super smart.

Another idea along the same lines would be a young, impetuous, clumsy, headstrong avenger from a really reserved and distinguished order.  the character would have just enough talent and skill (it is a HERO after all) to not fail the tests and requirements of the order.  But the leadership of the order is getting sick of him, so for his final test, he's sent out of the monastery (or whatever) to do some ridiculous or impossible task aligned with the party's goal (explore undermountain, or live the adventuring life successfully for 5 years, or something like that). 

Any various mix of race/theme/class that feels like it contradicts could be amusing, and fun and interesting to play as well!

Drow rogue with the chevalier theme  (never fear madam, i'll save your...wait, why are you running away?)
Deva Paladin with the infernal slave theme (what my god doesn't see...)
Pixie Knight or fighter with the gladiator theme (tiny ball o' hurt)
Hamadryad Assassin with the Guttersnipe theme (its a city dryad!)
        
I played a halfling druid (Summer), which recently died in a rather epic way and was brought back and is now bound to a tree as a Dryad, thanks to her Godess. ;)

Anyhow, I played her as a compassionate, serious druid, which in combination with a halfling, must have been very comical to everyone else, because everyone knows that halflings are not serious creatures and can't possibly be taken serious at all. And since when would a halfling want to become a druid anyways? She must be a thief in disguise... at least that is what a lot of people thought. ;)


However, there is one character in the group, which I absolutely love, love, love and adore. It's a rat (humanoid?)- alchimist. Interestingly that rat-person became schitzophrene and the player plays his character phenominal. It's epic.
<3 <3 <3 Summer
Another cool character concept that I plan to play soon is Jerusalem S.L.I.M. (Sentient Living Intelligent Machine), a warforged bard.  He's part Bender, part Jesus, and part Enjolras from Les Miserables.

"Do you hear the robots sing, singing the song of angry droids..."

Or you could call him Brother D.R.I.P.
Deified Revolutionary Intelligent Preacher

He'd be a walking-talking jukebox whose adventures begin in a theater coffeehouse on the campus of a religious university, which is where they hold meetings for groups with Anonymous in their name.


A rogue with a bowl of slop can be a controller. WIZARD PC: Can I substitute Celestial Roc Guano for my fireball spells? DM: Awesome. Yes. When in doubt, take action.... that's generally the best course. Even Sun Tsu knew that, and he didn't have internets.
Or you could call him Brother D.R.I.P.
Deified Revolutionary Intelligent Preacher

He'd be a walking-talking jukebox whose adventures begin in a theater coffeehouse on the campus of a religious university, which is where they hold meetings for groups with Anonymous in their name.



Please don't give him any more ideas. I'll be running an adventure for him (and Jerusalem SLIM) soon...
I played a halfling druid (Summer), which recently died in a rather epic way and was brought back and is now bound to a tree as a Dryad, thanks to her Godess. ;)

Anyhow, I played her as a compassionate, serious druid, which in combination with a halfling, must have been very comical to everyone else, because everyone knows that halflings are not serious creatures and can't possibly be taken serious at all. And since when would a halfling want to become a druid anyways? She must be a thief in disguise... at least that is what a lot of people thought. ;)


However, there is one character in the group, which I absolutely love, love, love and adore. It's a rat (humanoid?)- alchimist. Interestingly that rat-person became schitzophrene and the player plays his character phenominal. It's epic.

I love the idea of a halfling druid. Traditional folklore is filled with small quiet woodfolk. A halfling druid fits that concept well.
A rogue with a bowl of slop can be a controller. WIZARD PC: Can I substitute Celestial Roc Guano for my fireball spells? DM: Awesome. Yes. When in doubt, take action.... that's generally the best course. Even Sun Tsu knew that, and he didn't have internets.
Or you could call him Brother D.R.I.P.
Deified Revolutionary Intelligent Preacher

He'd be a walking-talking jukebox whose adventures begin in a theater coffeehouse on the campus of a religious university, which is where they hold meetings for groups with Anonymous in their name.



Please don't give him any more ideas. I'll be running an adventure for him (and Jerusalem SLIM) soon...

Cool If I were to play such a character, I'd have shoulder-mounted trumpet canons. Beware of rust-monsters.
A rogue with a bowl of slop can be a controller. WIZARD PC: Can I substitute Celestial Roc Guano for my fireball spells? DM: Awesome. Yes. When in doubt, take action.... that's generally the best course. Even Sun Tsu knew that, and he didn't have internets.
I've played as a halfling barbarian, weilding a two-handed short-sword called "Ankle Biter." In the same campaign we had an illusionist that was super vain and used all his spells to make himself look better. There was also a half-orc cleric cursed to wear a pink choker that turned him into a half-orc-mermaid when he went underwater...

You know, I'm also playing an escaped slave revenant monk that "escaped" the Raven Queen's realm by cutting the "reincarnation" line. My group's pretty loose with the rules I guess, but it's all in good fun.

I played a halfling barbarian who spent most of his adventures baking cakes and defending his flocks and gardens from monstrous raiders. When our village was raided, I was in the middle of baking a cake. The noise from the warhorns and bagpipes caused my cake to collapse. So I grabbed up my spear and went on a free-for-all slaughter of the enemy. My battle cry was "I'M TRYING TO BAKE A CAKE HERE!!!"
A rogue with a bowl of slop can be a controller. WIZARD PC: Can I substitute Celestial Roc Guano for my fireball spells? DM: Awesome. Yes. When in doubt, take action.... that's generally the best course. Even Sun Tsu knew that, and he didn't have internets.
A totally stolen concept, but GOLEM, my gnome in a warforged suit.  It stands for genius-operated living exoskeletal mechanism.

I am Iron Gnome.

On-ly 4 feet tall
Exo-skele-ton and all
Tiny boots of lead
Fills his vic-tims full of dread
Run-ning as fast as he can
Bearded gnomish robot-mannnnnnnnnnnnnnn
A rogue with a bowl of slop can be a controller. WIZARD PC: Can I substitute Celestial Roc Guano for my fireball spells? DM: Awesome. Yes. When in doubt, take action.... that's generally the best course. Even Sun Tsu knew that, and he didn't have internets.

 To be perfectly honest, a big-damage pixie slayer or a foot-tall pixie grappler tossing full-sized men around like ragdolls are so mechanically good that it's not even all that funny anymore...

I have a pixie druid built for aerial charging. His name is Jack Daw, and in-game he's not a pixie druid - he's a shapechanging fey crow spirit from the Feywild who worships the Raven Queen... He ended up in the campaign world after seeing the RQ fly past him in the form of a crow, fell immediately in lust with her, and allowed her to lead him on a merry chase through the Feywild before she led him here and disappeared. He spends most of his time both in and out of combat in the shape of a talking crow, and usually perches on the shoulder of another character pretending to be a pet or familiar. Much like a crow, he's loud, raucous, greedy, ill-mannered, curious...
 and occasionally likes to snack on dead things.
 Obviously funny in a slightly creepy sense, but still a fine inversion of the usual "pixie" image...

Harrow is an eladrin feylock who grew up in a human village thinking he was human and being tortured over his strange appearance and manners and his uncanny tendency to show in places he shouldn't be. He got lost in the Feydark for nearly two weeks the first time he consiously tried to use his feystep, and it drove him insane. He eventually became a wandering madman staying just one step ahead of the last time he lost his temper or his mind.
 One day after getting booted out of yet another town, he was wandering through a forest in a black rage when a Tinkerbelle-style fairy flew up and cheerfully introduced herself with a name about 37 syllables long and asked why he wasn't smiling because smiling makes everything better... By the time she finished, Harrow was in such a bleeding-from-the-eyes-foaming-at-the-mouth state of frenzy that he grabbed her out of the air... and ATE her.
Being immortal, the now-highly-traumatized fairy didn't die from being digested but reformed herself inside Harrow as sort of a symbiotic second central nervous system, making him into a fey warlock.
 Not only is Harrow his own pact patron, but his powers are quite literally a bad case of indigestion, lol.
 He's also now stuck with the mind and personality of a mind-rippingly-insane fairy sharing his headspace as a disembodied voice. The two have a seriously disfunctional relationship and are constantly at each others' throats - Harrow's body can often be heard arguing with itself in two different voices at the same time. Occasionally he even falls to the ground foaming at the mouth as the two fight for control over his body. When he uses his powers, his normally blue eyes turn green.
 Physically he's modeled a bit like David Bowie in Labrynth, and character-wise was inspired by horror/slasher movie fx - while his powers are sometimes fluffed as green energy or a green glowing fairy coming out of him to do stuff, a lot of things like his shadow walk are fluffed as freaky visual effects from movies like Silent Hill and Ringu...

I also have a halfling paladin named Polyphemia Peregrine Pureheart, pint-sized paladin of Pelor, who's backstory is that as a child she thought the sun was her imaginary friend, Mr. Sun, and every morning she'd walk outside, stretch and yawn, and say, "Hello, Mr. Sun..."
It was cute when she was six, but when she was still doing it at sixteen, people thought she'd been staring into the sun too long. Polly still retained her childlike manner and childlike black-and-white sense of right and wrong, and although she was always helpful and protected the younger children from bullies, most people assumed she had been dropped on her head, was mentally challenged or otherwise somehow had become touched in the head.
What the people of her village failed to realize was that, one morning when Polly was six, she looked up into the sky and said, "Hello, Mr. Sun..."

... And "Mr. Sun" had replied, "Hello, Polly..."

Polly talks like a chipmunk with a head cold, and looks and acts like that stereotypical plucky redheaded, freckled girl with the psychotically optimistic and positive attitude from every Saturday morning cartoon ever....
 Although she started out as strictly a comedy character, it's also fun to play her completely straight in a serious campaign as an exploration of how someone with a simplistic black-and-white point of view interacts with a shades-of-grey world.

Show

I am the Magic Man.

(Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.)

 

I am the Lawnmower Man.

(I AM GOD HERE!)

 

I am the Skull God.

(Koo Koo Ka Choo)

 

There are reasons they call me Mad...

Right now in our Sunday PF game I'm playing a parrot sorcerer named Karzuk.

He started off as the familiar of an incompetant 1/2 orc pirate played by another player (who stole "my" name from one of the villans in a PF adventure path).
Anyways, the 1/2 orc died, my previous character had left the group, & the goblin alchemist in the party imediately stuffed the bird into a jar & tried to "pickle" it (don't ask, it's a PF thing with goblins).

So the next week comes & the survivors are back at a tavern.  Gambling, drinking, probably going to recruit 2 new members, etc etc etc...
The ex-1/2 orc player has a character all ready & people are wondering "What's CCS playing?"
Then the DM starts having the other players make checks & handing out notes to those who rolled high enough.....
Seems they're hearing a magical message offering 1k gold to anyone who'll unseal the lid of the jar containing the pickled parrot in the goblins pack.
Of course the goblin counts this thing as a prized object & is uncoopertive.
Hilarity ensues.
The jar is emptied onto the bar..
And a parrot - who should be 100% stone dead from drowning in pickling solution - sits up.

The parrot then goes on to claim it's the re-incarnation of some ancient transmuter who's now freed from servitude to that stupid 1/2orc pirate & that if the party will help protect it while it regains its true form it'll reward all of them greatly.....
And they agree.
Especially the other new PC whom the parrot owes 1k GP....

Over time (the last several months of play) the party has determined that this parrot is evil.
A) though its actions.
B) I accidently got caught in the paladins detect evil effect - until then I always managed to comicly avoid that.  Imagine the pally sweeping the room with the DE gaze while the parrot toddles around behind her as she turns....  Or mockingly staying just out of her range.
A while ago it was directly asked OOC why the paladin adventures with this evil bird.  Doesn't that break some sort of pally rule?  The response was that "It's a small evil.  (indeed, I am.  All 14" or so of me. ) And it IS helping us do good.  (I am.  Because it pays well in both $, treasure, & XP - all things I need to reclaim my true form & empire) Besides, this way I know where it's at & what it's up to.  So I'm not going to spook it away before I actually need to deal with it perminently. (because she can't kill me in 1 shot - yet - & can't catch me if she fails)"

Now though? 
Tales of a drowned parrot coming back to life & tales of my/the parties deeds are spreading.
We've passed 7th lv. 
And I've taken the leadership feat....
I'm now attended by a flock of religios zealots who worship me as a phoenix.  Behold: The Cult of the Risen Parrot!  
A few fun ones I thought of

Discoman: The sorcerer based off all sorts of pretty colored powers. Even the DM couldn't kill him when he tried when I brought him in for a session.

Fligg the goblin queen: Tired of goblins being the adventure facerolls for 1st level adventures. Eventually gained some telepathy and regularly trolls people who look down on goblins. Also worshiped a diety based off the DM (which occasionally allowed bovine interventions).

A totally stolen concept, but GOLEM, my gnome in a warforged suit.  It stands for genius-operated living exoskeletal mechanism.

I am Iron Gnome.

Yeah I stole this too, although I named it Gnome Operated Lodestone Enhanced Manakin, flavored more as a ceramic, rune-enscribed statue rather than a robot since we weren't really in an Eberron-type world.

The gnome is an archaeologist who stumbled onto the suit, got in to study it, and had the hatch shut behind him.  Now he's stuck in there, and as he progresses in levels, he's figuring out what each of the neat little rune-buttons do.


My other interesting character was developed when I was trying to find a good way to play a ghost.  I hit on the idea that I could be a shaman and roleplay as the spirit companion.  The actual PC is just a medium that allows me to manifest in this world and seek vengeance on those who killed me.  I've kind of left the personality generic because I want to use it when one of my regular characters is killed.
Haedia, an adult mage who had made a deal with a fire demon that went bad.  The fire demon has now merged the characters soul in a hammer into a single slot kind of way.  They now fight over the body.  What made it interesting is that the fire demon had in fact the mentality of an 11 year old brat.  The party I was with were good sports.

Currently playing a character called Dol, an avenger revenant.  She used to be a faithful follower of the Raven Queen, however she lost her faith.  As punishment for this and other acts of desecration, the Raven Queen returned Dol to the world as a Revenant.  Dol wandered the land as what many would call an aparition of death.  Wearing ancient robes dedicated to the Raven Queen but now stained red by the blood of all those she has killed, she hugs an unaturally large full blade.  At first she was basically a juggernaut of death and didn't leave much to talk or diplomacy, mindlessly slaughtering.  Over time though she began to learn basic skills again and is now more talkative with the rest of the group and allows the people she trusts (a paladin of a deity of death) to try to talk their way out of problems.  So it's really interesting to roleplay the character since she sleeps in graveyards, used to harm herself, etc...  Once, when captured by Eladrin and confronted by an Ogre blocking the exit, Dol armed herself with the defeated Ogre's sack and used it as a two headed flail.  She's hillarious to RP.

Recently I played a Goblin beastmaster ranger called Snag with his pet dog Puff.  Puff was an avid pipe smoker and caused a lot of mischief.  Snag was an ankle biting old goblin with a cod piece shotgun, who also enjoyed a good pipe.  Together since an extremely young age, they are bonded together.  I didn't get to play this character much but he was fun while I did.

I played my Fate GPS build as Calistis who was a wizard seer of Ioun.  She was more of a gypsy, using a deck of cards to read fates or the past, present and future.  She was a lot of fun to play as well and helped the DM insert plot hooks via her seer abilities.  She focused on using non damage powers and stuff that made sense with the RP.  She was mysterious and all that stuff.  I'll probably play her again some time.  Probably from level 1 again. 
"Non nobis Domine Sed nomini tuo da gloriam" "I wish for death not because I want to die, but because I seek the war eternal"

IMAGE(http://www.nodiatis.com/pub/19.jpg)

Dwarven fighter thrown out of the clan home on his wedding night. Bit of a scandal. Does not understand sex jokes at all. Keeps trying to make them to fit in. "That's what she said" comes up at the most inappropriate times.

On the other hand, there's the feylock with his worship of his faery godmother. All his songs require sing-song phrases (whenever possible using real song lyrics). "Dance, Dance, wherever you may be" is great with Decree of Kirahd. "Such a coaxing elf, I shook myself, to see if I was really there" was great for Infuriating Elusiveness. "Sing me the old songs of Sorrow and Pain" for Eldrich Dirge. Cursing? "My godmother finds you despicable!"

Then there's the vryloka warlord, Mistar Berns, with the Sidhe Lord theme. "Smyters! Come here." "uh, Yes Sir." "Smyters! Hit him." Playing with a dragonborn paladin named Omar Sampson. "Sampson! Hit him." "yes boss." "Excellent."(rubs hands together). Was originally going to make him more like Palpatine, but Mr Burns works just as well.

Eezma the Devoted Cleric was great fun, with a voice like Eartha Kitt (well, my best attempt), based on Emperor's New Groove and the old song "Shango". Command was a great spell for her. "You! Kowtow" (knock prone) "You! flee" (run away). Worked great with a rogue and warlock (with Dire Radiance) in the party.
Haven't had a chance to play recently, but "Captain" Markus Wolfenstone is a human skirmishing warlord with a few ideas actually above his station. Having read all about glorious battle, he aspires to lead his own army into battle but kind of goes about it the wrong way. With an Int higher than his Str, he believes he can win battles through mere command and hanging back, watching his followers do the work as most generals seem to do. This earned him the mocking nickname "Captain" an he's assumed this as a proper rank. Long story short, he's more of an academic than a leader
Made one Warlord character named Hero(really, he had his name legally changed to Hero) who was incredibly inspired by heroes of stories and myth and wanted to become one himself. While he had a naturally talent for commanding battle, he was also incredibly egotistical, assumed he was the greatest thing on this planet, and would always try to take credit for what people in his command did(even if it was incredibly obvious he didn't do it). In fact, he was so irritable, his talent was literally the only reason he was still in the military and hadn't been kicked out, but they always sent him on away missions with small groups.

What made it even funnier is the one skill check we had(the game ended prematurely for many reasons) was passed by Hero alone. One player made a comment along the lines of "Wow, only Hero passed that? At this rate, we'll all trip on rocks as soon as a fight starts and Hero will kill them all in one turn."A minute later, we were sneaking into some place supposed to be infested with monsters from a local myth. One player bombed his stealth check and flavored it as him tripping on a rock before realizing the earlier comment someone made. Then when we did find the place was infested, we tried to sneak around, but Hero declared he hides from no fairy tale and charged the monsters. The rest of the party facepalmed and rolled with it.
Ha! Love it!
I wanted to play a Genasi that was the son of one of my other LFR characters. Problem: LFR happens in a single timeline. Solution: turn him into the timetravelling Syreel'eek (bonus points if you figure out the name), sent back from the future by his mother to prevent an apocalyptic disaster from happening. What this disaster is? Dunno yet, but it will probably have something to do with fulfilling his epic destiny.
Made one Warlord character named Hero(really, he had his name legally changed to Hero) who was incredibly inspired by heroes of stories and myth and wanted to become one himself. While he had a naturally talent for commanding battle, he was also incredibly egotistical, assumed he was the greatest thing on this planet, and would always try to take credit for what people in his command did(even if it was incredibly obvious he didn't do it). In fact, he was so irritable, his talent was literally the only reason he was still in the military and hadn't been kicked out, but they always sent him on away missions with small groups.

What made it even funnier is the one skill check we had(the game ended prematurely for many reasons) was passed by Hero alone. One player made a comment along the lines of "Wow, only Hero passed that? At this rate, we'll all trip on rocks as soon as a fight starts and Hero will kill them all in one turn."A minute later, we were sneaking into some place supposed to be infested with monsters from a local myth. One player bombed his stealth check and flavored it as him tripping on a rock before realizing the earlier comment someone made. Then when we did find the place was infested, we tried to sneak around, but Hero declared he hides from no fairy tale and charged the monsters. The rest of the party facepalmed and rolled with it.

I had a samurai-type guy named Hiro...

"eewiry simirar (eerily similar)"
A rogue with a bowl of slop can be a controller. WIZARD PC: Can I substitute Celestial Roc Guano for my fireball spells? DM: Awesome. Yes. When in doubt, take action.... that's generally the best course. Even Sun Tsu knew that, and he didn't have internets.
I played a scholar-profession fighter who was the scribe to the wizard.  That was kind of fun.

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Rodian Pacifist who would drain the charges from his collegues blasters, teamed up with a jawa engineer and ridar theif who would steal the parts to repair the ships' lasers every other landing.

Hiro Protagonist? Isn't that the main character in a cyberpunkish novel? Snow Crash?
The other night, I played "Captain Valentine" - a pirate captain loosely based off of the Pirate King from the Pirates of Penzance.

Captain Valentine is a pirate captain.  However, he is not a very good one as him and the crew are a little on the tenderhearted side.  He has a pirate code, which has two main rules:

1. Don't attack an enemy weaker than yourself - of course the practical implications are that they do not attack weaker enemies, and whenever they attack stronger enemies they get thrashed.

2. Never molest an orphan.  Valentine and his crew are all orphans themselves, so they know what it is like and feel sorry for orphans.  Unfortunately, this aspect of the code has become common knowledge among seafarers in this neck of the sea, and on the rare occasion when the pirates achieve victory, their victims claim to be orphans and the pirates leave them be.

Captain Valentine is an accomplished singer and dancer, and singer, and it is a poorly kept secret that he enjoys trying on women's clothing below decks.

Anyways, the DM asked me to introduce my character, and my response was to start singing "Oh, better far to live and die..."

For the rest of the night, most of Captain Valentine's dialogue was showtunes.  There were excerpts from:

"With Cat-like tread" - Pirates of Penzance
"A British Tar" - Pinafore
"Dr. Zaius" - the Simpsons musical planet of the apes
DM advice: 1. Do a Session Zero. 2. Start With Action. 3. Always say "Yes" to player ideas. 4. Don't build railroads. 5. Make success, failure, and middling rolls interesting. Player advice: 1. Don't be a dick. 2. Build off each other, don't block each other. 3. You're supposed to be a badass. Act like it. Take risks. My poorly updated blog: http://engineeredfun.wordpress.com/
Dwarven Bard called Desmond Mcblayard (Nicknamed Desmond Mcb**tard) who was the guitarist for the legendry band Iron Moradin, which started out as a religious rock group dedicated to Moradin but over time grew into pure rock and roll with smatterings of heavy metal. Desmond was incredibly rowdy and  liked a drink, often causing a lot of destruction at the venues they played, until this esclated to the point of him being kicked from the band. He stated he would create a band A billion times more Rock N Roll then Iron Moradin, but set out on a solo career in the meantime. Unfortuneately, he was a terrible singer and was boo'ed off at many gigs, often causing a barfight in the proce

It was at one of these barfights he meet the party the other players characters were in. He liked the party and they got along very well, so he joined them believing he could slowly teach them how to learn instruments and sing, therefore completing his band lineup.

He took the Archspell epic destiny, but we re-flavoured it into Arch-Riff, as Desmond was working on The One Riff that would go down in history as being the single best sound a guitar could make. with the permission of the DM, I created my own spell for this: Dragonforge.

During one of the final sessions, we faced off against a villian who had summoned a meteor to destroy the planet. (Original, I know) We defeated the villian but had no way to stop the metoer. Save for Desmond, who took up his guitar and played DragonForge. I rolled a natural 20 at this point, which to this day is probably the single greatest roll I've ever made.

The spell caused all the magma inside the planet to blast upwards from a hole in front of the party, the hole being about 30 feet in both width and length. All the magma was blasted into the sky at an insane pressure, just as the metoer entered the atmosphere. The magma and metoer collided in the sky, causing the metoer to be destroyed in a truly spectacular explosion.

God, I loved that campaign. :')

I have an idea for a Catfolk Rogue, DnD 3.5, and I’m wondering if it qualifies as “funny,” or should I talk about it somewhere else?


I’m thinking that he tends to do things for people instead of letting them do it themselves. He doesn’t understand the human notion that “if you do things for other people, then they will keep expecting you to do it for them,” rather he was raised “If you let something go undone just because somebody else was also being lazy, you teach them that it wasn’t important in the first place.”



I’m also thinking that his preferred way of mocking people involves using impressions as part of whatever else he is saying.



While he’s not racist against humans per se, I’m thinking that one of his favorite ways of harassing specific humans (especially those who blame "evil" orc raiders for the existence of half-orcs) is by pointing out that the vast majority of half-elves in the world are half-human instead of half-orc, most half-ogres are half-human rather than orc or elf, most half-giants are half-human instead of orc, elf, or ogre, most half-dragons (at which point the other person would likely attack him before he could finish. I imagine he gets kicked out of pubs a lot)...


He is also terrified of penguins after a childhood (kitten-hood?) incident involving a Fireball spell.

Founder - but not owner - of Just Say Yes!

Member of LGBT Gamers

Odds are, if 4-6 people can't figure out an answer you thought was obvious, you screwed up, not them. - JeffGroves
Which is why a DM should present problems to solve, not solutions to find. -FlatFoot
Why there should be the option to use alignment systems:
Show
If some people are heavily benefiting from the inclusion of alignment, then it would behoove those that AREN'T to listen up and pay attention to how those benefits are being created and enjoyed, no? -YagamiFire
But equally important would be for those who do enjoy those benefits to entertain the possibility that other people do not value those benefits equally or, possibly, do not see them as benefits in the first place. -wrecan (RIP)
That makes sense. However, it is not fair to continually attack those that benefit for being, somehow, deviant for deriving enjoyment from something that you cannot. Instead, alignment is continually attacked...it is demonized...and those that use it are lumped in with it.

 

I think there is more merit in a situation where someone says "This doesn't work! It's broken!" and the reply is "Actually it works fine for me. Have you considered your approach might be causing it?"

 

than a situation where someone says "I use this system and the way I use it works really well!" and the back and forth is "No! It is a broken bad system!" -YagamiFire

Beldak, I don't think that's particularly funny, but it certainly could be a lot of fun.


As for cats, I'm convinced our cat was trying to teach us to hunt by bringing us dead animals to practice basic skills on.


We were NOT getting the message.


So he brought in a not-dead bird. And let it go. In the house.


We caught it - SUCCESS! - THEY ARE FINALLY LEARNING - and "played with it" a bit (checking for injuries)...


...then he got to watch in absolute disgust as we took it outside and set it free.


That was the end of our feline hunting lessons.

"The world does not work the way you have been taught it does. We are not real as such; we exist within The Story. Unfortunately for you, you have inherited a condition from your mother known as Primary Protagonist Syndrome, which means The Story is interested in you. It will find you, and if you are not ready for the narrative strands it will throw at you..." - from Footloose
The two funniest characters I've seen were both halflings.

The first was a halfling barbarian who had Strongarm Bracers (weild weapons one size larger than you) and a Scabbard of Holding (just as a bag of holding but limited just to bladed weapons).  So, just by his outward appearance, it looked like his only weapon was a dagger, but out of the scabbard, he would pull a two-handed bastard sword.

The other was a halfling rogue that was played like a kender from Dragonlance.  He was constantly stealing from oter party members for "practice."  However, due to his low Intelligence score, he would never put the stuff back in the right place, or to the right players
"As shepherds we shall be, for Thee my Lord for Thee. Power has descended forth from Thy hand that our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command. And we shall flow a river forth unto Thee and teeming with souls shall it ever be. Et nomine patri, et fili, et spiritus sancti"
Currently I play a Human Bard called Piere the Embraced in a Forgotten Realms campaign. (3.5)

After being stranded in the Desert Piere had a deeply spiritual experience that rendered him into a total fruit cake forever. He had a vision of a godess froma plane not of his own who's beauty cooked his brain. He now strives to be her knight, completely devoted to her in every shape and form smiting any (to the best of his ability) who doubt his love and her divine existence. To compensate for his lack of money for arms and armour Piere resorted to wearing a cuirass constucted from pots and pans. While his attire provides little protection it does however add to the extravagence of his ocarina perfromances. 

Piere's future is uncertain because the campaign is so young but hopefully he will be united with his love across the stars....