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Actualizer
Artifact
Players are not planeswalkers.
...and you didn't just planeswalk here from McDonalds. 


Termination Notice
Sorcery
Target creature in a graveyard is dead.


Cruicial Information
Sorcery
You may start the game with this card in your deck.
Draw 3 cards. 


Denouncement
Instant
Counter target spell. If it is countered this way, place it as the top card into its owner's graveyard. It is no longer on the stack. Any effects that would be caused by the resolution of that spell instead aren't. Any mana spent to cast it isn't redeemed.


Fruitful Gardens
Land
When Fruitful Gardens enters the battlefield, until end of game, each land isn't mana and each mana isn't land.
: Add to your mana pool.
Fierce Combatant-
Creature-Human Soldier
Fierce Combatant can attack.
2/1

 

120.6. Some effects replace card draws.

 

why are you here when NGA exists and is just better

These.

Are what un cards are made of.
Dull Rod
Artifact
Activated abilities of artifacts can be activated.
Gerrard: "But it doesn't do anything!"
Hanna: "yup"
192884403 wrote:
firstrike
56965458 wrote:
97820278 wrote:
56965458 wrote:
97820278 wrote:
Ceci n'est pas une pipe.
This definitely doesn't mean what you think it means.
I was referring to the painting The Treachery of Images.
I know.
Not-Fast Goblin
Creature-Goblin
1/1
This card does not have haste.
IMAGE(http://images.community.wizards.com/community.wizards.com/user/blitzschnell/c1b8574f03c7cff35d72311f1208599a.jpg?v=90000)
I like how Denouncement technically is a replacement effect.

Artistically Challenged Thinker
Creature - Human Wizard
Whenever you would draw a card, put the top card of your library into your hand instead.
1/3
"I think me going Bang bang bang I win is pretty intuitive" Mafia Record: Wouldn't you like to know? 2011 Mafia Awards - Mastermind of the Year
mymoment
\
57817638 wrote:
58060728 wrote:
88318561 wrote:
58060728 wrote:
Moriok Rigger does absolutely nothing to boost other riggers. You are incorrect.
Moriok Rigger is not a Rigger in print. Only in Errata WHAT NOW! (yes, I did put that phrase in for that exact reason)
Congratulations, they have activated your trap card!
Actualizer
Artifact
Players are not planeswalkers.
...and you didn't just planeswalk here from McDonalds.


Give this flash and you can counter Dreadbore while it's on the stack with this.

Face the Consequences
Enchantment
Your decisions are final, you cannot take them back.

IMAGE(http://i1.minus.com/jbcBXM4z66fMtK.jpg)

192884403 wrote:
surely one can't say complex conditional passive language is bad grammar ?
Long Shot
Sorcery
Long Shot deals 4 damage to target creature.
If this is in your sideboard, you may exchange it for a card from your main deck before starting the second or third game of a match. 
Snowscape | Land | Rare
Snowscape enters the battlefield untapped.
: Add to your mana pool.
: Add or to your mana pool. Snowscape deals 1 damage to you.
Giant Arm
Creature - Giant Zombie
You may insert this card into a sleeve designed especially to fit it.

4/4

139359831 wrote:
That is a lovely painting of Richard Garfield. It really brings out his feminine side.
Summoning Sickness
Enchantment
Creatures may not attack or use abilities with in their cost the unless they've been under their controller's control since the beginning of the current turn's upkeep or have haste.

meh
Peek-a-boo
Instant
As long as this card is on the stack or in your graveyard, players may look at it.
Unless you cover your eyes with this card, in which case, how could they possibly see it or you?


Slanty, Noble Squire
Legendary Creature - Human Knight
(Text in italics has no real rules meaning--it's just there to remind you how things work. Sometimes, it even gives you helpful hints on how things should be played.)
Of course, other times it's just there to make the card more interesting to look at. Sorta like this. And this.

3/3
Beating a dead horse
Instant
Destroy target creature in a graveyard
Don't

Poke
Instant
Target creature untaps during its controller's next untap step.
Oh no, it has a few corner cases where it's useful!!

Duh Bear
Creature - Bear
Duh Bear's power and toughness are each equal to 2.
Not 3... Not 1... Not 5,284... Not banana... 2.
2/2
Not Superman 
Creature - Human
As long as Not Superman has flying, it has flying.
1/1

This Spell
Sorcery
This Spell can be countered. Until end of turn, you may cast spells if you pay their mana costs.

I Want More Cards
Instant
As I Want More Cards resolves, you may be accomited by a strong urge to draw a card. If you do, draw no cards.
"Not even one?"

Okay, You May Draw One 
Enchantment
Whenever a player would draw a card, that player draws a card instead.
"But just that one."
Da Bear 1G
Creature - Bear
Da Bear is a green bear in addition to its other colors and creature types, even when its not on the battlefield.
2/2
Giant Arm
Creature - Giant Zombie
You may insert this card into a sleeve designed especially to fit it.

4/4

Gatherer Rulings
1) This card may be inserted in a sleeve only if the rest of your cards are inserted in sleeves as well.
2) The sleeve this card is inserted into must exactly match all other sleeves in your library.


Knight of Common Sense
Creature - Human Knight
When Knight of Common Sense attacks, there will be a post-combat main phase after the combat phase.
NI!!!!

Just Finish Already
Enchantment
After the cleanup step, end the turn.
Finally...

It Burns
Instant
It burns deals 1 damage to target player, then if that player is at 0 or less life, that player loses the game.
Like soap in your eyes.

Speedy Spell
Instant
Flash


Autocarding
Please Please Please Autocard/// / / / [c]Protean Hydra[/c] => Protean Hydra / / / I can't read the cards you reference without it... / Well, ok, I CAN read the cards, but it involves opening Gatherer, looking your card up by name, hoping it's spelled right, and... I'm just too lazy to do it, alright? Please Autocard.
Rule 112.2.
Enchantment
112.2. Abilities can affect the objects they’re on. They can also affect other objects and/or players.

----------------------------------------------------

Trampling
Instant
Target creature with trample tramples.

Trampled
Enchantment - Aura
When enchanted creature blocks a creature with trample, it gets trampled.

----------------------------------------------------



worship the horn
http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/28209491/Conch_Horn
It Burns would completely remove Lich's Tomb as a factor in the Modern metagame, meaning there's no counter to Hunted Phantasm aggro.

Revelation
Instant
Draw a card from the top of your library, putting it into your hand, then discard a card from your hand, putting it on top of your graveyard.

Yxoque wrote:
This forum can't even ****ing self-destruct properly.

IMAGE(http://img.pokemondb.net/sprites/black-white/anim/normal/plusle.gif)


Trampling
Instant
Target creature with trample tramples.



This made me laugh. People are giving me mean looks at the office. 
Benalish Hero 
Creature- Human Soldier
Banding (Oh God)
1/1
Surly Grognard
Creature- Boar
Banding (is absurdly simple to understand and its removal is yet another example of Wizards' systematic dumbing-down of this once-great game)
1/1
Dimensional Rift U
Enchantment
Permanents on the battlefield with phasing phase out during its controller's upkeep.
Wistful Warrior
Creature - Elf Warrior
If Wistful Warrior would be shuffled into your library from anywhere, you may put it on top of your library then shuffle it instead.
"Pomp and procedure!"
2/3
Complain
Sorcery
Cast Complain only if you mullliganed and are losing the game.
You may whine about your bad luck. But not too much.
"lol 3rd match I mulligan and get flooded :/"

IMAGE(http://i1.minus.com/jbcBXM4z66fMtK.jpg)

192884403 wrote:
surely one can't say complex conditional passive language is bad grammar ?
Information Leakage
Instant
Reveal your hand to target non-opponent person.
"Making shifty gestures and questionable eyebrow movement encouraged."

IMAGE(http://i1.minus.com/jbcBXM4z66fMtK.jpg)

192884403 wrote:
surely one can't say complex conditional passive language is bad grammar ?
Chase Rare
Land - Island Swamp Forest
This card is worth $50 when trading.

Yxoque wrote:
This forum can't even ****ing self-destruct properly.

IMAGE(http://img.pokemondb.net/sprites/black-white/anim/normal/plusle.gif)

Sphinx of the Far Isle-
Creature-Sphinx
Flying, Shroud
You may look at the top card of your graveyard. (you may do this at any time.)
5/5

 

120.6. Some effects replace card draws.

 

why are you here when NGA exists and is just better

I Made the Card
Sorcery
I Made the Card isn't an official Magic: the Gathering card. (It is not tournament-legal and may not be accepted in casual games.)
You may choose a card of your own design from outside the game, reveal that card, and put it into your hand. Exile I Made the Card.
Take Back 
Instant
You may ask your opponent for a take back, meaning, undoing the last spell you cast, or untapping/tapping the right lands, or removing a/many creature(s) from combat, untapped, or any other action deemed as a mistake from your part.
worship the horn
http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/28209491/Conch_Horn
Take Back 
Instant
You may ask your opponent for a take back, meaning, undoing the last spell you cast, or untapping/tapping the right lands, or removing a/many creature(s) from combat, untapped, or any other action deemed as a mistake from your part.



This looks so White. I can really see something like:
- Oops! Just did something wrong, can I undo this?
- No, no, you can't.
- Damn! That's fine. Rules are rules, right? 
Show-off

Sorcery
Flip a 1943 Philadelphia-mint copper penny.  If you win the flip, reveal the penny to an opponent and brag about how you came to own such a rare penny.  If you lose the flip, target opponent may mock you for probably falling for one of those "fake copper 1943 penny" scams without being able to verify the coin's authenticity.
Thirty Black Lotuses?  Pfft, that's nothin!
Show
144902215 wrote:
Sometimes I imagine what Cisnero's life must be like. I imagine cargo pants - every pocket stuffed with coins. I imagine him (I almost said "him or her" but then I decided his gender with through the randomization of a small metal disk) - I imagine him, shopping, purchasing food, choosing which spot to park in, all through this meticulous flipping process. I imagine him asking a girl out, taking her to have a drink or whatever and then asking if she wants to play this fun game. When she responds "Sure." he removes a single quarter from one of his jingling pockets. Then proceeds to flip it repeatedly while she calls it - until she is able to make up an excuse to leave. Will he respond to this post? Only if the Chaotic Gods of Copper and Nickel deem it so. Someday many years from now, in the Dystopian future world, I'll ride my Billy Idol Unicycle past a bedraggled slumbub - He'll be clad in armor made all of the (now worthless) coins of yesterdecade. He'll grin a shiny grin at me as he flips another coin - and I'll know who it was. How could I not?
Take Back 
Instant
You may ask your opponent for a take back, meaning, undoing the last spell you cast, or untapping/tapping the right lands, or removing a/many creature(s) from combat, untapped, or any other action deemed as a mistake from your part.



This looks so White. I can really see something like:
- Oops! Just did something wrong, can I undo this?
- No, no, you can't.
- Damn! That's fine. Rules are rules, right? 



Fairplay 
Instant
Counter target unfair combo. If your opponent laugh at this spell, storm out of here!

Blue?
worship the horn
http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/28209491/Conch_Horn
Take Back 
Instant
You may ask your opponent for a take back, meaning, undoing the last spell you cast, or untapping/tapping the right lands, or removing a/many creature(s) from combat, untapped, or any other action deemed as a mistake from your part.



This looks so White. I can really see something like:
- Oops! Just did something wrong, can I undo this?
- No, no, you can't.
- Damn! That's fine. Rules are rules, right? 



Fairplay 
Instant
Counter target unfair combo. If your opponent laugh at this spell, storm out of here!

Blue?

I'd say the color depends on how "unfair" is determined.  If there's some way of ruling on what is a "fair" combo (like using restricted cards or something), then blue, or perhaps blue/white.  If it's simply up to individual determination, I'd say red should DEFINITELY be here.
Show
144902215 wrote:
Sometimes I imagine what Cisnero's life must be like. I imagine cargo pants - every pocket stuffed with coins. I imagine him (I almost said "him or her" but then I decided his gender with through the randomization of a small metal disk) - I imagine him, shopping, purchasing food, choosing which spot to park in, all through this meticulous flipping process. I imagine him asking a girl out, taking her to have a drink or whatever and then asking if she wants to play this fun game. When she responds "Sure." he removes a single quarter from one of his jingling pockets. Then proceeds to flip it repeatedly while she calls it - until she is able to make up an excuse to leave. Will he respond to this post? Only if the Chaotic Gods of Copper and Nickel deem it so. Someday many years from now, in the Dystopian future world, I'll ride my Billy Idol Unicycle past a bedraggled slumbub - He'll be clad in armor made all of the (now worthless) coins of yesterdecade. He'll grin a shiny grin at me as he flips another coin - and I'll know who it was. How could I not?
Take Back 
Instant
You may ask your opponent for a take back, meaning, undoing the last spell you cast, or untapping/tapping the right lands, or removing a/many creature(s) from combat, untapped, or any other action deemed as a mistake from your part.



This looks so White. I can really see something like:
- Oops! Just did something wrong, can I undo this?
- No, no, you can't.
- Damn! That's fine. Rules are rules, right? 



Fairplay 
Instant
Counter target unfair combo. If your opponent laugh at this spell, storm out of here!

Blue?

I'd say the color depends on how "unfair" is determined.  If there's some way of ruling on what is a "fair" combo (like using restricted cards or something), then blue, or perhaps blue/white.  If it's simply up to individual determination, I'd say red should DEFINITELY be here.


/storm out of here
worship the horn
http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/28209491/Conch_Horn
The Card You Didn't Draw
Enchantment
Whenever you lose the game, you may afterwards look at the top card of your library and complain how that draw would change the outcome of the whole match.
"Oh, snap!"
Information Leakage
Instant
Reveal your hand to target non-opponent person.
"Making shifty gestures and questionable eyebrow movement encouraged."



Tournament error: asking for outside assistance.

Match loss. 


Overly-Strict Judge
Creature - Human Advisor
Vigilance
Each player plays strictly by the rules. If a player breaks a rule, he or she loses the match and will be suspended as seen fit. (this includes you)
2/4

IMAGE(http://i1.minus.com/jbcBXM4z66fMtK.jpg)

192884403 wrote:
surely one can't say complex conditional passive language is bad grammar ?
Pile Shuffle

Sorcery

Look at the top 5000 cards in your library and put them on the top of your library in any order.

Spoil the Godbook

Enchantment

Be suspended for one year: Reveal to everyone the contents of the next set.
139359831 wrote:
Clever deduction Watson! Maybe you can explain why Supergirl is trying to kill me.
---- Autocard is your friend. Lightning Bolt = Lightning Bolt
For Your Eyes Only  
Enchantment
Players may look at cards in their hands and at face-up permanents on the battlefield.  
"Waaah there's a few cards I don't like in the latest set! This game sucks now! Everything should just always stay the same because I'm threatened by change! I'm going to quit! I'm quitting! SOMEONE PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEE" - approximately 10% of MtG players on all forums, ever. Read my thoughts, feed my ego! - www.tzaphiel.wordpress.com I'm also a writer! Search for "Gareth Topping" on Amazon!
Fury Swipes
Instant 
CARDNAME deals damage to target creature or player. 

Zammm = Batman.

It's my sig in a box
58280208 wrote:
Everything is better when you read it in Bane's voice.
192334281 wrote:
Your human antics and desire to continue living have moved me. Just kidding. You cannot move me physically or emotionally. Wall humor.
57092228 wrote:
Copy effects work like a photocopy machine: you get a copy of the 'naked' card, NOT of what's on it.
56995928 wrote:
Funny story: InQuest Magazine (I think it was InQuest) had an oversized Chaos Orb which I totally rooked someone into allowing into a (non-sanctioned) game. I had a proxy card that was a Mountain with "Chaos Orb" written on it. When I played it, my opponent cried foul: Him: "WTF? a Proxy? no-one said anything about Proxies. Do you even own an actual Chaos Orb?" Me: "Yes, but I thought it would be better to use a Proxy." Him: "No way. If you're going to put a Chaos Orb in your deck you have to use your actual Chaos Orb." Me: "*Sigh*. Okay." I pulled out this huge Chaos Orb and placed it on the table. He tried to cry foul again but everyone else said he insisted I use my actual Chaos Orb and that was my actual Chaos Orb. I used it, flipped it and wiped most of his board. Unsurprisingly, that only worked once and only because everyone present thought it was hilarious.
My DM on Battleminds:
no, see i can kill defenders, but 8 consecutive crits on a battlemind, eh walk it off.
144543765 wrote:
195392035 wrote:
Hi guys! So, I'm a sort of returning player to Magic. I say sort of because as a child I had two main TCG's I liked. Yu-Gi-Oh, and Pokemon. Some of my friends branched off in to Magic, and I bought two pre-made decks just to kind of fit in. Like I said, Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon were what I really knew how to play. I have a extensive knowledge of deck building in those two TCG's. However, as far as Magic is concerned, I only ever used those two pre made decks. I know how the game is played, and I know general things, but now I want to get in the game for real. I want to begin playing it as a regular. My question is, are all cards ever released from the time of the inception of this game until present day fair game in a deck? Or are there special rules? Are some cards forbidden or restricted? Thanks guys, and I will gladly accept ANY help lol.
I have the same problem with women.
117639611 wrote:
198869283 wrote:
Oh I have a standing rule. If someone plays a Planeswalker I concede the game. I refuse to play with or against people who play Planeswalkers. They really did ruin the game.
A turn two Tibalt win?! Wicked... Betcha don't see that everyday.

The Pony Co. 

Is this my new ego sig? Yes it is, other Barry
57461258 wrote:
And that's why you should never, ever call RP Jesus on being a troll, because then everyone else playing along gets outed, too, and the thread goes back to being boring.
57461258 wrote:
See, this is why RPJesus should be in charge of the storyline. The novel line would never have been cancelled if he had been running the show. Specifically the Slobad and Geth's Head talkshow he just described.
57461258 wrote:
Not only was that an obligatory joke, it was an on-topic post that still managed to be off-topic due to thread derailment. RP Jesus does it again folks.
92481331 wrote:
I think I'm gonna' start praying to Jesus... That's right, RPJesus, I'm gonna' be praying to you, right now. O' Jesus Please continue to make my time here on the forums fun and cause me to chuckle. Amen.
92481331 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
It was wonderful. Us Johnnies had a field day. That Timmy with the Grizzly bears would actually have to think about swinging into your Mogg Fanatic, giving you time to set up your silly combo. Nowadays it's all DERPSWING! with thier blue jeans and their MP3 players and their EM EM OH AR PEE JEES and their "Dewmocracy" and their children's card games and their Jersey Shores and their Tattooed Tenaged Vampire Hunters from Beverly Hills
Seriously, that was amazing. I laughed my *ss off. Made my day, and I just woke up.
[quote=ArtVenn You're still one of my favorite people... just sayin'.[/quote]
56756068 wrote:
56786788 wrote:
.....would it be a bit blasphemous if I said, "PRAYSE RPJAYSUS!" like an Evangelical preacher?
Perhaps, but who doesn't like to blaspheme every now and again? Especially when Mr. RPJesus is completely right.
56756068 wrote:
I don't say this often, but ... LOL
57526128 wrote:
You... You... Evil something... I actualy made the damn char once I saw the poster... Now you made me see it again and I gained resolve to put it into my campaign. Shell be high standing oficial of Cyrix order. Uterly mad and only slightly evil. And it'll be bad. Evil even. And ill blame you and Lizard for it :P.
57042968 wrote:
111809331 wrote:
I'm trying to work out if you're being sarcastic here. ...
Am going to stop you right there... it's RPJesus... he's always sarcastic
58335208 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
112114441 wrote:
we can only hope it gets the jace treatment...it could have at least been legendary
So that even the decks that don't run it run it to deal with it? Isn't that like the definition of format warping?
I lol'd.
56287226 wrote:
98088088 wrote:
Uktabi Orangutan What the heck's going on with those monkeys?
The most common answer is that they are what RPJesus would call "[Debutantes avert your eyes]ing."
56965458 wrote:
Show
57461258 wrote:
116498949 wrote:
I’ve removed content from this thread because off-topic discussions are a violation of the Code of Conduct. You can review the Code here: www.wizards.com/Company/About.aspx?x=wz_... Please keep your posts polite, on-topic, and refrain from making personal attacks. You are welcome to disagree with one another but please do so respectfully and constructively. If you wish to report a post for Code of Conduct violation, click on the “Report Post” button above the post and this will submit your report to the moderators on duty.
...Am I the only one that thinks this is reaching the point of downright Kafkaesque insanity?
I condone the use of the word Kafkaesque. However, I'm presentely ambivalent. I mean, that can't be serious, right? We're April 1st, right? They didn't mod RPJesus for off-topic discussion when the WHOLE THREAD IS OFF-TOPIC, right? Right.
57545908 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
Save or die. If you disagree with this, you're wrong (Not because of any points or arguements that have been made, but I just rolled a d20 for you and got a 1, so you lose).
58397368 wrote:
58222628 wrote:
This just won the argument, AFAIC.
That's just awesome.
57471038 wrote:
57718868 wrote:
HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THE BEAR PRODUCING WORDS OF WILDING?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!
That's what RPJesus tends to do. That's why I don't think he's a real person, but some Magic Card Archive Server sort of machine, that is programmed to react to other posters' comments with obscure cards that do in fact exist, but somehow missed by even the most experienced Magic players. And then come up with strange combos with said cards. All of that is impossible for a normal human to do given the amount of time he does it and how often he does it. He/It got me with Light of Sanction, which prompted me to go to RQ&A to try and find if it was even possible to do combat damage to a creature I control (in light that Mark of Asylum exists).
71235715 wrote:
+10
100176878 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
57078538 wrote:
heaven or hell.
Round 1. Lets rock.
GG quotes! RPJesus just made this thread win!
56906968 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
143359585 wrote:
Blue players get all the overpowerered cards like JTMS. I think it's time that wizards gave something to people who remember what magic is really about: creatures.
Initially yes, Wizards was married to blue. However, about a decade ago they had a nasty divorce, and a few years after that they began courting the attention of Green. Then in Worldwake they had a nasty affair with their ex, but as of Innistrad, things seem to have gotten back on track, and Wizards has even proposed.
You are my favorite. Yes you. And moments like this make it so. Thank you RPJesus for just being you.
On what flavor text fits me:
57307308 wrote:
Surely RPJesus gets Niv-Mizzet, Dracogenius?
56874518 wrote:
First: I STILL can't take you seriously with that avatar. And I can take RPJesus seriously, so that's saying something.
121689989 wrote:
I'd offer you a cookie for making me laugh but it has an Upkeep Cost that has been known to cause people to quit eating.
56267956 wrote:
I <3 you loads
57400888 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
"AINT NO LAWS IN THE SKY MOTHER****." - Agrus Kos, Wojek Veteran
10/10. Amazing.
Self-Awareness

Sorcery
Target creature becomes a copy of itself.
Show
144902215 wrote:
Sometimes I imagine what Cisnero's life must be like. I imagine cargo pants - every pocket stuffed with coins. I imagine him (I almost said "him or her" but then I decided his gender with through the randomization of a small metal disk) - I imagine him, shopping, purchasing food, choosing which spot to park in, all through this meticulous flipping process. I imagine him asking a girl out, taking her to have a drink or whatever and then asking if she wants to play this fun game. When she responds "Sure." he removes a single quarter from one of his jingling pockets. Then proceeds to flip it repeatedly while she calls it - until she is able to make up an excuse to leave. Will he respond to this post? Only if the Chaotic Gods of Copper and Nickel deem it so. Someday many years from now, in the Dystopian future world, I'll ride my Billy Idol Unicycle past a bedraggled slumbub - He'll be clad in armor made all of the (now worthless) coins of yesterdecade. He'll grin a shiny grin at me as he flips another coin - and I'll know who it was. How could I not?