Your Ideal Card

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I was just wondering what everyone would think of if it game to a "dream" card. Please tell me mana cost, type of card, power and toughnness if creature, and other/active abilities!
THANKS!
I made this one for another thread a long time ago:

----------------

Krark Nine-Fingers

Planeswalker - Krark (3)

+1: Flip a coin, if you win the flip,
Krark does 3 damage to target Creature
or Player.  If you lose, Krark does 1 damage
to target Creature or Player.

-3: Roll a six-sided die.  Krark deals Damage
equal to number shown on the die to up to X
creatures, where X is the number of Loyalty
counters on Krark.

-7: You get an emblem with "If a player would flip a coin,
roll a die, or an event would happen 'At Random' you
may decide the outcome."
Krark Nine-Fingers

Planeswalker - Krark (3)

+1: Flip a coin, if you win the flip,
Krark does 3 damage to target Creature
or Player.  If you lose, Krark does 1 damage
to target Creature or Player.

-3: Roll a six-sided die.  Krark deals Damage
equal to number shown on the die to up to X
creatures, where X is the number of Loyalty
counters on Krark.

-7: You get an emblem with "If a player would flip a coin,
roll a die, or an event would happen 'At Random' you
may decide the outcome."




YES!  (Well, I don't think they want to introduce dice rolling into the game... but other than that... YES!)
Show
144902215 wrote:
Sometimes I imagine what Cisnero's life must be like. I imagine cargo pants - every pocket stuffed with coins. I imagine him (I almost said "him or her" but then I decided his gender with through the randomization of a small metal disk) - I imagine him, shopping, purchasing food, choosing which spot to park in, all through this meticulous flipping process. I imagine him asking a girl out, taking her to have a drink or whatever and then asking if she wants to play this fun game. When she responds "Sure." he removes a single quarter from one of his jingling pockets. Then proceeds to flip it repeatedly while she calls it - until she is able to make up an excuse to leave. Will he respond to this post? Only if the Chaotic Gods of Copper and Nickel deem it so. Someday many years from now, in the Dystopian future world, I'll ride my Billy Idol Unicycle past a bedraggled slumbub - He'll be clad in armor made all of the (now worthless) coins of yesterdecade. He'll grin a shiny grin at me as he flips another coin - and I'll know who it was. How could I not?
They already made mine: Coiling Oracle.

The utter efficiency, the cloying subtyping, the use of the beautiful word "coiling".
I was going to come in here and be all snarky and post one of the cards that uses a six-sided die, but so far it's limited to Unglued.

BAH! 
They already made mine: Coiling Oracle.

The utter efficiency, the cloying subtyping, the use of the beautiful word "coiling".



Have to agree. Oracle is one of the best cards in Magic.
I don't have a dream card. Asking me to design one is like saying "Design your dream chess piece!" or "Design your dream poker card!" The cards exist not in a vacuum, but as part of an overall experience.

Embrace imagination.

Lord of YMtC | Ten Rounds Contest Winner

Solphos – A fan set with a 'combo matters' theme

Fool's Gold – The second set of the Solphos block

Right now my dream card is like super-Brainstorm

Jodah's Mirror
Enchantment
: Draw a card, put a card from you hand on top of your library. 
 
I only wish it could be an artifact to satisfy the flavor requirements. 
"I think me going Bang bang bang I win is pretty intuitive" Mafia Record: Wouldn't you like to know? 2011 Mafia Awards - Mastermind of the Year
mymoment
\
57817638 wrote:
58060728 wrote:
88318561 wrote:
58060728 wrote:
Moriok Rigger does absolutely nothing to boost other riggers. You are incorrect.
Moriok Rigger is not a Rigger in print. Only in Errata WHAT NOW! (yes, I did put that phrase in for that exact reason)
Congratulations, they have activated your trap card!
My friend's card is
      Card Name:Sarkhan's Revered
      Mana Color: Black/Red
      Mana Cost: 3 red, 3 Black(6 total)
      Card Type:Dragon Creature
      Power/Toughness:7/4
      Abilities:2 red mana, it gets +2,-2 (9/2) until end of turn. Then X mana, where X equals amount of damage it deals unto itself, you gain X life by doing so. Each Creature you control gets a plus 1 plus 1 for every time a Swamp was used for X.
red name
Instant
Gain control of target creature an until end of turn. Untap that creature. It gains haste until end of turn.
worship the horn
http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/28209491/Conch_Horn
I think one of the best designed cards of all time is Unsummon, but I admit to not having thought very hard about it.

In terms of cards I've designed that I wish would exist in real life?

Unflesh
Instant
Target creature loses all abilities and becomes 0/0 until end of turn. 
The World of Eldangard - a three act M:tG block by Fallingman Eldangard Stormfront Ragnarok
Sliver Museum
Legnedary Land
During your upkeep, if you control 5 or more slivers, choose 1, search your library for 3 slivers and put 2 of them into your graveyard and one into your hand, or Put X +1/+1 counters on each sliver you control where X is the number of slivers you control.
At the beginning of your end step, sacrifice 2 slivers or lose half of your life rounded up. 
Vindicate already exists, so, yeah.
My dream card causes my body to release unlimited quantities of dopamine and serotonin into itself. Then it smites my enemies, gets me all the ladies, and puts so much money into my bank account that I can finally pursue my not-very-profitable passions as occupations - i.e. dressing up puppies like chimney sweeps - find my calendars HERE!

So, basically, yes, they already printed it.

139359831 wrote:
That is a lovely painting of Richard Garfield. It really brings out his feminine side.
red name
Instant
Untap target creature and gain control of it until end of turn. That creature gains haste until end of turn.



Act of Aggression
red name
Instant
Untap target creature and gain control of it until end of turn. That creature gains haste until end of turn.



Act of Aggression


which is a card I play with until my dream card come out.
worship the horn
http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/28209491/Conch_Horn
red name
Instant
Untap target creature and gain control of it until end of turn. That creature gains haste until end of turn.



Act of Aggression



Speaking of which.


Enchantment - Aura
Enchant creature.
You control enchanted creature.
When ~ enters the battlefield, untap enchanted creature.  It gains haste until end of turn.
Goblin Balloon Party
Enchantment

Goblins you control have flying





<3

"Of course I'm sure I've gone mad. The little man who crawled out of my eye was quite clear on this."

red name
Instant
Untap target creature and gain control of it until end of turn. That creature gains haste until end of turn.



Act of Aggression


which is a card I play with until my dream card come out.



Blind with Anger is incredibly close.
I like making people discard. And I like demons. So I'm going to make a quick attempt at a dream card without much thought or effort into making sure it actually works or makes sense :P .


Creature - Demon
Flying
Whenever ~ attacks, defending player discards a card.
Whenever an opponent discards a card, ~ gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the converted mana cost of the discarded card.
4/5

Again, no idea if this works, but it's a big black demon with discard, so I like it .

All cards I make have artists credited in the appropriate places. Artist names in "quotes" are DeviantArt usernames unless otherwise mentioned.

"I play a Grave Betrayal. I get all your dead things now, mwahahahaha!"
"Okay. I play a Phage the Untouchable. Piss me off and I will sac it."
"... ... ... so guys, remind me again how to sac my own enchantments?"

My dream card? This should look familiar to my archnemesis .

Czyphe, the Once Goat -- :BM::BM:
Legendary Creature - Goat Zombie (R)

Undying
Czyphe, the Once Goat gains persist if it has a +1/+1 counter on it.

"Oh BAAAAH yourself, you don't care about near-death experiences!"
-Morrow, Ethereal Illusionist-
2 / 2

===xxx===

Why I want it... Legendary Goat. Goat Zombie. Undying/Persist. What more can you ask for?
Official archnemesis of magicpablo666 Host of Reactionary Proud owner of "The Terrible Cube" The altimis Archive I'm baking lands!!! Beginner of GROMA
Notable Quotables:
58060728 wrote:
I carefully examine the walls of the room in a determined effort to not follow the GMs plot.
My dream card? This should look familiar to my archnemesis .

Czyphe, the Once Goat -- :BM::BM:
Legendary Creature - Goat Zombie (R)

Undying
Czyphe, the Once Goat gains undying if it has a +1/+1 counter on it.

"Oh BAAAAH yourself, you don't care about near-death experiences!"
-Morrow, Ethereal Illusionist-
2 / 2

===xxx===

Why I want it... Legendary Goat. Goat Zombie. Undying/Persist. What more can you ask for?

It already has undying, but it gains undying? How does that work?

All cards I make have artists credited in the appropriate places. Artist names in "quotes" are DeviantArt usernames unless otherwise mentioned.

"I play a Grave Betrayal. I get all your dead things now, mwahahahaha!"
"Okay. I play a Phage the Untouchable. Piss me off and I will sac it."
"... ... ... so guys, remind me again how to sac my own enchantments?"

My dream card? This should look familiar to my archnemesis .

Czyphe, the Once Goat -- :BM::BM:
Legendary Creature - Goat Zombie (R)

Undying
Czyphe, the Once Goat gains undying if it has a +1/+1 counter on it.

"Oh BAAAAH yourself, you don't care about near-death experiences!"
-Morrow, Ethereal Illusionist-
2 / 2

===xxx===

Why I want it... Legendary Goat. Goat Zombie. Undying/Persist. What more can you ask for?

It already has undying, but it gains undying? How does that work?


Oops... persist is teh second one. I miswrote it the first time, and forgot to change it... my bad.
Official archnemesis of magicpablo666 Host of Reactionary Proud owner of "The Terrible Cube" The altimis Archive I'm baking lands!!! Beginner of GROMA
Notable Quotables:
58060728 wrote:
I carefully examine the walls of the room in a determined effort to not follow the GMs plot.
Some of my favorite cards are Faithless Looting, Icefall, Arcane Denial, Keldon Marauders, Death spark, Magus of the Library, Gigantomancer, Cranial Extraction (I hate Memoricide though), and Knight of the Holy Nimbus. I like grindy, slow card advantage engines, nifty aggro cards, and cards that have a lot of versatility and options, especially when they are not obvious at first, like countering your own spells with arcane denial.

Fiery Extortionist |
Creature - Viashino Shaman
Haste
When ~ enters the battlefield, you may have target player discard a card. If you do, that player may have ~ deal X damage to target player, where X is the converted mana cost of that card.
"Thinking is a luxury those ablaze cannot afford."
2/1

I pushed his power level a bit but yaknow
@Maraxas
Turn 1: Lightning Bolt
Turn 2: Fiery Extortionist discarding Emrakul, the Aeons Torn
GG

Edit:
Or just discard a generic three drop in aggro for a Lava Spike.
Oh no I have ruined magic ;-;

I'll fix it later

or forget to either way 


Why I want it... Legendary Goat. Goat Zombie. Undying/Persist. What more can you ask for?


An altar? :P

I dunno, I think Explorer's Scope is pretty legit, but I guess my favorite pet card is

Accelerant Salve
Artifact
Sacrifice CARDNAME: You may acitvate an ability of target permanent you control without paying it's activation cost.

Which I guess is dumb with Planeswalkers and door to nothingness, but doubling season is already a thing, and it's not like they haven't printed cheaper two artifact instawins. Plus you did say "ideal," not "realistic" :33

Zammm = Batman.

It's my sig in a box
58280208 wrote:
Everything is better when you read it in Bane's voice.
192334281 wrote:
Your human antics and desire to continue living have moved me. Just kidding. You cannot move me physically or emotionally. Wall humor.
57092228 wrote:
Copy effects work like a photocopy machine: you get a copy of the 'naked' card, NOT of what's on it.
56995928 wrote:
Funny story: InQuest Magazine (I think it was InQuest) had an oversized Chaos Orb which I totally rooked someone into allowing into a (non-sanctioned) game. I had a proxy card that was a Mountain with "Chaos Orb" written on it. When I played it, my opponent cried foul: Him: "WTF? a Proxy? no-one said anything about Proxies. Do you even own an actual Chaos Orb?" Me: "Yes, but I thought it would be better to use a Proxy." Him: "No way. If you're going to put a Chaos Orb in your deck you have to use your actual Chaos Orb." Me: "*Sigh*. Okay." I pulled out this huge Chaos Orb and placed it on the table. He tried to cry foul again but everyone else said he insisted I use my actual Chaos Orb and that was my actual Chaos Orb. I used it, flipped it and wiped most of his board. Unsurprisingly, that only worked once and only because everyone present thought it was hilarious.
My DM on Battleminds:
no, see i can kill defenders, but 8 consecutive crits on a battlemind, eh walk it off.
144543765 wrote:
195392035 wrote:
Hi guys! So, I'm a sort of returning player to Magic. I say sort of because as a child I had two main TCG's I liked. Yu-Gi-Oh, and Pokemon. Some of my friends branched off in to Magic, and I bought two pre-made decks just to kind of fit in. Like I said, Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon were what I really knew how to play. I have a extensive knowledge of deck building in those two TCG's. However, as far as Magic is concerned, I only ever used those two pre made decks. I know how the game is played, and I know general things, but now I want to get in the game for real. I want to begin playing it as a regular. My question is, are all cards ever released from the time of the inception of this game until present day fair game in a deck? Or are there special rules? Are some cards forbidden or restricted? Thanks guys, and I will gladly accept ANY help lol.
I have the same problem with women.
117639611 wrote:
198869283 wrote:
Oh I have a standing rule. If someone plays a Planeswalker I concede the game. I refuse to play with or against people who play Planeswalkers. They really did ruin the game.
A turn two Tibalt win?! Wicked... Betcha don't see that everyday.

The Pony Co. 

Is this my new ego sig? Yes it is, other Barry
57461258 wrote:
And that's why you should never, ever call RP Jesus on being a troll, because then everyone else playing along gets outed, too, and the thread goes back to being boring.
57461258 wrote:
See, this is why RPJesus should be in charge of the storyline. The novel line would never have been cancelled if he had been running the show. Specifically the Slobad and Geth's Head talkshow he just described.
57461258 wrote:
Not only was that an obligatory joke, it was an on-topic post that still managed to be off-topic due to thread derailment. RP Jesus does it again folks.
92481331 wrote:
I think I'm gonna' start praying to Jesus... That's right, RPJesus, I'm gonna' be praying to you, right now. O' Jesus Please continue to make my time here on the forums fun and cause me to chuckle. Amen.
92481331 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
It was wonderful. Us Johnnies had a field day. That Timmy with the Grizzly bears would actually have to think about swinging into your Mogg Fanatic, giving you time to set up your silly combo. Nowadays it's all DERPSWING! with thier blue jeans and their MP3 players and their EM EM OH AR PEE JEES and their "Dewmocracy" and their children's card games and their Jersey Shores and their Tattooed Tenaged Vampire Hunters from Beverly Hills
Seriously, that was amazing. I laughed my *ss off. Made my day, and I just woke up.
[quote=ArtVenn You're still one of my favorite people... just sayin'.[/quote]
56756068 wrote:
56786788 wrote:
.....would it be a bit blasphemous if I said, "PRAYSE RPJAYSUS!" like an Evangelical preacher?
Perhaps, but who doesn't like to blaspheme every now and again? Especially when Mr. RPJesus is completely right.
56756068 wrote:
I don't say this often, but ... LOL
57526128 wrote:
You... You... Evil something... I actualy made the damn char once I saw the poster... Now you made me see it again and I gained resolve to put it into my campaign. Shell be high standing oficial of Cyrix order. Uterly mad and only slightly evil. And it'll be bad. Evil even. And ill blame you and Lizard for it :P.
57042968 wrote:
111809331 wrote:
I'm trying to work out if you're being sarcastic here. ...
Am going to stop you right there... it's RPJesus... he's always sarcastic
58335208 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
112114441 wrote:
we can only hope it gets the jace treatment...it could have at least been legendary
So that even the decks that don't run it run it to deal with it? Isn't that like the definition of format warping?
I lol'd.
56287226 wrote:
98088088 wrote:
Uktabi Orangutan What the heck's going on with those monkeys?
The most common answer is that they are what RPJesus would call "[Debutantes avert your eyes]ing."
56965458 wrote:
Show
57461258 wrote:
116498949 wrote:
I’ve removed content from this thread because off-topic discussions are a violation of the Code of Conduct. You can review the Code here: www.wizards.com/Company/About.aspx?x=wz_... Please keep your posts polite, on-topic, and refrain from making personal attacks. You are welcome to disagree with one another but please do so respectfully and constructively. If you wish to report a post for Code of Conduct violation, click on the “Report Post” button above the post and this will submit your report to the moderators on duty.
...Am I the only one that thinks this is reaching the point of downright Kafkaesque insanity?
I condone the use of the word Kafkaesque. However, I'm presentely ambivalent. I mean, that can't be serious, right? We're April 1st, right? They didn't mod RPJesus for off-topic discussion when the WHOLE THREAD IS OFF-TOPIC, right? Right.
57545908 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
Save or die. If you disagree with this, you're wrong (Not because of any points or arguements that have been made, but I just rolled a d20 for you and got a 1, so you lose).
58397368 wrote:
58222628 wrote:
This just won the argument, AFAIC.
That's just awesome.
57471038 wrote:
57718868 wrote:
HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THE BEAR PRODUCING WORDS OF WILDING?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!
That's what RPJesus tends to do. That's why I don't think he's a real person, but some Magic Card Archive Server sort of machine, that is programmed to react to other posters' comments with obscure cards that do in fact exist, but somehow missed by even the most experienced Magic players. And then come up with strange combos with said cards. All of that is impossible for a normal human to do given the amount of time he does it and how often he does it. He/It got me with Light of Sanction, which prompted me to go to RQ&A to try and find if it was even possible to do combat damage to a creature I control (in light that Mark of Asylum exists).
71235715 wrote:
+10
100176878 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
57078538 wrote:
heaven or hell.
Round 1. Lets rock.
GG quotes! RPJesus just made this thread win!
56906968 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
143359585 wrote:
Blue players get all the overpowerered cards like JTMS. I think it's time that wizards gave something to people who remember what magic is really about: creatures.
Initially yes, Wizards was married to blue. However, about a decade ago they had a nasty divorce, and a few years after that they began courting the attention of Green. Then in Worldwake they had a nasty affair with their ex, but as of Innistrad, things seem to have gotten back on track, and Wizards has even proposed.
You are my favorite. Yes you. And moments like this make it so. Thank you RPJesus for just being you.
On what flavor text fits me:
57307308 wrote:
Surely RPJesus gets Niv-Mizzet, Dracogenius?
56874518 wrote:
First: I STILL can't take you seriously with that avatar. And I can take RPJesus seriously, so that's saying something.
121689989 wrote:
I'd offer you a cookie for making me laugh but it has an Upkeep Cost that has been known to cause people to quit eating.
56267956 wrote:
I <3 you loads
57400888 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
"AINT NO LAWS IN THE SKY MOTHER****." - Agrus Kos, Wojek Veteran
10/10. Amazing.
red name
Instant
Untap target creature and gain control of it until end of turn. That creature gains haste until end of turn.



Act of Aggression


which is a card I play with until my dream card come out.



Blind with Anger is incredibly close.


I still play it in the same deck as Act of Aggression.  The legendary thing really hurts sometimes and I don't see any reason the clause could be taken out and keep the same cost.

I know it is gonna be printed sometimes though.  It is the last card on my wishlist, which had, before it got prionted, Cultivate, Murder and Cloudshift.  Now only the instant threaten persists.
worship the horn
http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/28209491/Conch_Horn
It doesn't have to be exactly like this, but as long as it has a activation cost of adding mana to your mana pool, I'll be happy.

Witherbloom
Creature-Plant
Add one mana of any color to your mana pool: ~ and target creature each get -1/-1 until end of turn. You can't cast spells or activate abilities as long as this ability is on the stack.
0/1

Just one card with an ability that makes you produce mana as a cost (for an activated ability, not a "drawback"), that's all I want to see.

I used to really want to see lifelink in green. It requires black mana to get it, but it's close enough for me. {edit} What am I saying? I can't be happy with just one green card with lifelink. I want to see more green cards toting lifelink, cementing it as a tertiary (or quadriary(?)) ability of green.

Rules Advisor from 8-26-09 to 1-31-14, reinstated (reactivated?) on 9-24-14 (been seeing more FNM, prerelease, and release events as of late)
Joined the crowd and got an Avatar from zammm's Avatar Workshop on 5-6-2012

Khans of Tarkir Clan Quiz
After three iterations of taking the quiz, it says each time that I'm Temur, the clan. Which is funny because the dual-color tests still yield the same two results as before.

That "Dual Colors" personality test thing
IMAGE(http://stat.rumandmonkey.com/tests/1/6/5261/20806.jpg)

I am Black/Green

Take The Magic Dual Colour Test - Beta today!

Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.

I am both selfish and instinctive. I value growth and community, as long as they favour my own objectives; I enjoy nature, and I particularly enjoy watching parts of nature die. At best, I am resilient and tenacious; at worst, I'm uncontrollable and destructive.

Oh, but wait, there were multiple answers that fit my thoughts to some questions. What colors did they say I was?

IMAGE(http://stat.rumandmonkey.com/tests/1/6/5261/20801.jpg)

I am Blue/Green

I am both rational and instinctive. I value self-knowledge and understanding of the world; my ultimate goal is self-improvement and improvement of the world around me. At best, I am focused and methodical; at worst, I am obsessive and amoral.

Serra Angel, Lightning Bolt, Brainstorm, Craw Wurm, Hypnotic Specter. Yes, they already exist, but I couldn't think of ways to make them better without just breaking them.


Serra Angel still remains my favorite card printed ever. It is the perfect creature, in terms of cost/power.
Mox Lotus
Land

Hexproof
Protection from Everything
Split second (As long as this spell is on the stack, players can't cast spells or activate abilities that aren't mana abilities.)
As an alternative cost, (You must have?) all opponents lose the game.
You win the game.
: You win the game.
If Mox Lotus would be put into your graveyard or hand from anywhere, reveal Mox Lotus, you win the game.
You may reveal Mox Lotus from your opening hand, if you do you win the game.
A deck can have any number of cards named Mox Lotus.
If any opponent were to win the game, they lose the game instead.
red name
Instant
Gain control of target creature an until end of turn. Untap that creature. It gains haste until end of turn.


Blind with Anger
...almost.
red name
Instant
Gain control of target creature an until end of turn. Untap that creature. It gains haste until end of turn.


Blind with Anger
...almost.


I know,. I want my ideal card just because Blind with anger doesn't cut it
worship the horn
http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/28209491/Conch_Horn
Mox Lotus
Land

Hexproof
Protection from Everything
Split second (As long as this spell is on the stack, players can't cast spells or activate abilities that aren't mana abilities.)
As an alternative cost, (You must have?) all opponents lose the game.
You win the game.
: You win the game.
If Mox Lotus would be put into your graveyard or hand from anywhere, reveal Mox Lotus, you win the game.
You may reveal Mox Lotus from your opening hand, if you do you win the game.
A deck can have any number of cards named Mox Lotus.
If any opponent were to win the game, they lose the game instead.




This card has way too much redundancy. Case in point: Lands already have Split Second (nobody can respond to you playing a land). Also, lands already cost 0. But they aren't spells, so you need to go relearn Magic.

Hexproof+Protection from Everything is also redundant.

If this is your dream card, your dreams must actually be more akin to nightmares.

Mox Lotus is already done. It gives you .

Rules Advisor from 8-26-09 to 1-31-14, reinstated (reactivated?) on 9-24-14 (been seeing more FNM, prerelease, and release events as of late)
Joined the crowd and got an Avatar from zammm's Avatar Workshop on 5-6-2012

Khans of Tarkir Clan Quiz
After three iterations of taking the quiz, it says each time that I'm Temur, the clan. Which is funny because the dual-color tests still yield the same two results as before.

That "Dual Colors" personality test thing
IMAGE(http://stat.rumandmonkey.com/tests/1/6/5261/20806.jpg)

I am Black/Green

Take The Magic Dual Colour Test - Beta today!

Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.

I am both selfish and instinctive. I value growth and community, as long as they favour my own objectives; I enjoy nature, and I particularly enjoy watching parts of nature die. At best, I am resilient and tenacious; at worst, I'm uncontrollable and destructive.

Oh, but wait, there were multiple answers that fit my thoughts to some questions. What colors did they say I was?

IMAGE(http://stat.rumandmonkey.com/tests/1/6/5261/20801.jpg)

I am Blue/Green

I am both rational and instinctive. I value self-knowledge and understanding of the world; my ultimate goal is self-improvement and improvement of the world around me. At best, I am focused and methodical; at worst, I am obsessive and amoral.

Mythic Plane of the Gods
Land
Protection from Everything
You win the game.
: You win the game.
If ~ would be put into your graveyard or hand from anywhere, reveal ~, you win the game.
You may reveal ~ from your opening hand, if you do you win the game.
If any opponent were to win the game, they lose the game instead.
A deck can have any number of cards named ~.

Fixed.
Mythic Plane of the Gods
Land
God Complex
Protection from Everything
You win the game.
: You win the game.
If ~ would be put into your graveyard or hand from anywhere, reveal ~, you win the game.
You may reveal ~ from your opening hand, if you do you win the game.
If any opponent were to win the game, they lose the game instead.
A deck can have any number of cards named ~.

Fixed.


 :Fix: :P

Zammm = Batman.

It's my sig in a box
58280208 wrote:
Everything is better when you read it in Bane's voice.
192334281 wrote:
Your human antics and desire to continue living have moved me. Just kidding. You cannot move me physically or emotionally. Wall humor.
57092228 wrote:
Copy effects work like a photocopy machine: you get a copy of the 'naked' card, NOT of what's on it.
56995928 wrote:
Funny story: InQuest Magazine (I think it was InQuest) had an oversized Chaos Orb which I totally rooked someone into allowing into a (non-sanctioned) game. I had a proxy card that was a Mountain with "Chaos Orb" written on it. When I played it, my opponent cried foul: Him: "WTF? a Proxy? no-one said anything about Proxies. Do you even own an actual Chaos Orb?" Me: "Yes, but I thought it would be better to use a Proxy." Him: "No way. If you're going to put a Chaos Orb in your deck you have to use your actual Chaos Orb." Me: "*Sigh*. Okay." I pulled out this huge Chaos Orb and placed it on the table. He tried to cry foul again but everyone else said he insisted I use my actual Chaos Orb and that was my actual Chaos Orb. I used it, flipped it and wiped most of his board. Unsurprisingly, that only worked once and only because everyone present thought it was hilarious.
My DM on Battleminds:
no, see i can kill defenders, but 8 consecutive crits on a battlemind, eh walk it off.
144543765 wrote:
195392035 wrote:
Hi guys! So, I'm a sort of returning player to Magic. I say sort of because as a child I had two main TCG's I liked. Yu-Gi-Oh, and Pokemon. Some of my friends branched off in to Magic, and I bought two pre-made decks just to kind of fit in. Like I said, Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon were what I really knew how to play. I have a extensive knowledge of deck building in those two TCG's. However, as far as Magic is concerned, I only ever used those two pre made decks. I know how the game is played, and I know general things, but now I want to get in the game for real. I want to begin playing it as a regular. My question is, are all cards ever released from the time of the inception of this game until present day fair game in a deck? Or are there special rules? Are some cards forbidden or restricted? Thanks guys, and I will gladly accept ANY help lol.
I have the same problem with women.
117639611 wrote:
198869283 wrote:
Oh I have a standing rule. If someone plays a Planeswalker I concede the game. I refuse to play with or against people who play Planeswalkers. They really did ruin the game.
A turn two Tibalt win?! Wicked... Betcha don't see that everyday.

The Pony Co. 

Is this my new ego sig? Yes it is, other Barry
57461258 wrote:
And that's why you should never, ever call RP Jesus on being a troll, because then everyone else playing along gets outed, too, and the thread goes back to being boring.
57461258 wrote:
See, this is why RPJesus should be in charge of the storyline. The novel line would never have been cancelled if he had been running the show. Specifically the Slobad and Geth's Head talkshow he just described.
57461258 wrote:
Not only was that an obligatory joke, it was an on-topic post that still managed to be off-topic due to thread derailment. RP Jesus does it again folks.
92481331 wrote:
I think I'm gonna' start praying to Jesus... That's right, RPJesus, I'm gonna' be praying to you, right now. O' Jesus Please continue to make my time here on the forums fun and cause me to chuckle. Amen.
92481331 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
It was wonderful. Us Johnnies had a field day. That Timmy with the Grizzly bears would actually have to think about swinging into your Mogg Fanatic, giving you time to set up your silly combo. Nowadays it's all DERPSWING! with thier blue jeans and their MP3 players and their EM EM OH AR PEE JEES and their "Dewmocracy" and their children's card games and their Jersey Shores and their Tattooed Tenaged Vampire Hunters from Beverly Hills
Seriously, that was amazing. I laughed my *ss off. Made my day, and I just woke up.
[quote=ArtVenn You're still one of my favorite people... just sayin'.[/quote]
56756068 wrote:
56786788 wrote:
.....would it be a bit blasphemous if I said, "PRAYSE RPJAYSUS!" like an Evangelical preacher?
Perhaps, but who doesn't like to blaspheme every now and again? Especially when Mr. RPJesus is completely right.
56756068 wrote:
I don't say this often, but ... LOL
57526128 wrote:
You... You... Evil something... I actualy made the damn char once I saw the poster... Now you made me see it again and I gained resolve to put it into my campaign. Shell be high standing oficial of Cyrix order. Uterly mad and only slightly evil. And it'll be bad. Evil even. And ill blame you and Lizard for it :P.
57042968 wrote:
111809331 wrote:
I'm trying to work out if you're being sarcastic here. ...
Am going to stop you right there... it's RPJesus... he's always sarcastic
58335208 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
112114441 wrote:
we can only hope it gets the jace treatment...it could have at least been legendary
So that even the decks that don't run it run it to deal with it? Isn't that like the definition of format warping?
I lol'd.
56287226 wrote:
98088088 wrote:
Uktabi Orangutan What the heck's going on with those monkeys?
The most common answer is that they are what RPJesus would call "[Debutantes avert your eyes]ing."
56965458 wrote:
Show
57461258 wrote:
116498949 wrote:
I’ve removed content from this thread because off-topic discussions are a violation of the Code of Conduct. You can review the Code here: www.wizards.com/Company/About.aspx?x=wz_... Please keep your posts polite, on-topic, and refrain from making personal attacks. You are welcome to disagree with one another but please do so respectfully and constructively. If you wish to report a post for Code of Conduct violation, click on the “Report Post” button above the post and this will submit your report to the moderators on duty.
...Am I the only one that thinks this is reaching the point of downright Kafkaesque insanity?
I condone the use of the word Kafkaesque. However, I'm presentely ambivalent. I mean, that can't be serious, right? We're April 1st, right? They didn't mod RPJesus for off-topic discussion when the WHOLE THREAD IS OFF-TOPIC, right? Right.
57545908 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
Save or die. If you disagree with this, you're wrong (Not because of any points or arguements that have been made, but I just rolled a d20 for you and got a 1, so you lose).
58397368 wrote:
58222628 wrote:
This just won the argument, AFAIC.
That's just awesome.
57471038 wrote:
57718868 wrote:
HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THE BEAR PRODUCING WORDS OF WILDING?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!
That's what RPJesus tends to do. That's why I don't think he's a real person, but some Magic Card Archive Server sort of machine, that is programmed to react to other posters' comments with obscure cards that do in fact exist, but somehow missed by even the most experienced Magic players. And then come up with strange combos with said cards. All of that is impossible for a normal human to do given the amount of time he does it and how often he does it. He/It got me with Light of Sanction, which prompted me to go to RQ&A to try and find if it was even possible to do combat damage to a creature I control (in light that Mark of Asylum exists).
71235715 wrote:
+10
100176878 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
57078538 wrote:
heaven or hell.
Round 1. Lets rock.
GG quotes! RPJesus just made this thread win!
56906968 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
143359585 wrote:
Blue players get all the overpowerered cards like JTMS. I think it's time that wizards gave something to people who remember what magic is really about: creatures.
Initially yes, Wizards was married to blue. However, about a decade ago they had a nasty divorce, and a few years after that they began courting the attention of Green. Then in Worldwake they had a nasty affair with their ex, but as of Innistrad, things seem to have gotten back on track, and Wizards has even proposed.
You are my favorite. Yes you. And moments like this make it so. Thank you RPJesus for just being you.
On what flavor text fits me:
57307308 wrote:
Surely RPJesus gets Niv-Mizzet, Dracogenius?
56874518 wrote:
First: I STILL can't take you seriously with that avatar. And I can take RPJesus seriously, so that's saying something.
121689989 wrote:
I'd offer you a cookie for making me laugh but it has an Upkeep Cost that has been known to cause people to quit eating.
56267956 wrote:
I <3 you loads
57400888 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
"AINT NO LAWS IN THE SKY MOTHER****." - Agrus Kos, Wojek Veteran
10/10. Amazing.
Maslow's Blessing

Sorcery
Target player becomes self-actualized. (That player gains employment in a field to which they find a sense of personal satisfaction and purpose in life.  If that player does not meet prerequisites for becoming self-actualized, such as support from others or self-respect, those prerequisites are fulfilled.  The player does not win the game or lose the game, but may respectfully realize that the game is unimportant and concede without any feeling of lost self-respect since he or she has found a more important purpose for living.)

"Counterspell!"
"I will cut you!"
Show
144902215 wrote:
Sometimes I imagine what Cisnero's life must be like. I imagine cargo pants - every pocket stuffed with coins. I imagine him (I almost said "him or her" but then I decided his gender with through the randomization of a small metal disk) - I imagine him, shopping, purchasing food, choosing which spot to park in, all through this meticulous flipping process. I imagine him asking a girl out, taking her to have a drink or whatever and then asking if she wants to play this fun game. When she responds "Sure." he removes a single quarter from one of his jingling pockets. Then proceeds to flip it repeatedly while she calls it - until she is able to make up an excuse to leave. Will he respond to this post? Only if the Chaotic Gods of Copper and Nickel deem it so. Someday many years from now, in the Dystopian future world, I'll ride my Billy Idol Unicycle past a bedraggled slumbub - He'll be clad in armor made all of the (now worthless) coins of yesterdecade. He'll grin a shiny grin at me as he flips another coin - and I'll know who it was. How could I not?
Maslow's Blessing

Sorcery
Target player becomes self-actualized. (That player gains employment in a field to which they find a sense of personal satisfaction and purpose in life.  If that player does not meet prerequisites for becoming self-actualized, such as support from others or self-respect, those prerequisites are fulfilled.  The player does not win the game or lose the game, but may respectfully realize that the game is unimportant and concede without any feeling of lost self-respect since he or she has found a more important purpose for living.)

"Counterspell!"
"I will cut you!"




I think Dash Hopes or Dismal Failure would be more apropro there :33.

Zammm = Batman.

It's my sig in a box
58280208 wrote:
Everything is better when you read it in Bane's voice.
192334281 wrote:
Your human antics and desire to continue living have moved me. Just kidding. You cannot move me physically or emotionally. Wall humor.
57092228 wrote:
Copy effects work like a photocopy machine: you get a copy of the 'naked' card, NOT of what's on it.
56995928 wrote:
Funny story: InQuest Magazine (I think it was InQuest) had an oversized Chaos Orb which I totally rooked someone into allowing into a (non-sanctioned) game. I had a proxy card that was a Mountain with "Chaos Orb" written on it. When I played it, my opponent cried foul: Him: "WTF? a Proxy? no-one said anything about Proxies. Do you even own an actual Chaos Orb?" Me: "Yes, but I thought it would be better to use a Proxy." Him: "No way. If you're going to put a Chaos Orb in your deck you have to use your actual Chaos Orb." Me: "*Sigh*. Okay." I pulled out this huge Chaos Orb and placed it on the table. He tried to cry foul again but everyone else said he insisted I use my actual Chaos Orb and that was my actual Chaos Orb. I used it, flipped it and wiped most of his board. Unsurprisingly, that only worked once and only because everyone present thought it was hilarious.
My DM on Battleminds:
no, see i can kill defenders, but 8 consecutive crits on a battlemind, eh walk it off.
144543765 wrote:
195392035 wrote:
Hi guys! So, I'm a sort of returning player to Magic. I say sort of because as a child I had two main TCG's I liked. Yu-Gi-Oh, and Pokemon. Some of my friends branched off in to Magic, and I bought two pre-made decks just to kind of fit in. Like I said, Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon were what I really knew how to play. I have a extensive knowledge of deck building in those two TCG's. However, as far as Magic is concerned, I only ever used those two pre made decks. I know how the game is played, and I know general things, but now I want to get in the game for real. I want to begin playing it as a regular. My question is, are all cards ever released from the time of the inception of this game until present day fair game in a deck? Or are there special rules? Are some cards forbidden or restricted? Thanks guys, and I will gladly accept ANY help lol.
I have the same problem with women.
117639611 wrote:
198869283 wrote:
Oh I have a standing rule. If someone plays a Planeswalker I concede the game. I refuse to play with or against people who play Planeswalkers. They really did ruin the game.
A turn two Tibalt win?! Wicked... Betcha don't see that everyday.

The Pony Co. 

Is this my new ego sig? Yes it is, other Barry
57461258 wrote:
And that's why you should never, ever call RP Jesus on being a troll, because then everyone else playing along gets outed, too, and the thread goes back to being boring.
57461258 wrote:
See, this is why RPJesus should be in charge of the storyline. The novel line would never have been cancelled if he had been running the show. Specifically the Slobad and Geth's Head talkshow he just described.
57461258 wrote:
Not only was that an obligatory joke, it was an on-topic post that still managed to be off-topic due to thread derailment. RP Jesus does it again folks.
92481331 wrote:
I think I'm gonna' start praying to Jesus... That's right, RPJesus, I'm gonna' be praying to you, right now. O' Jesus Please continue to make my time here on the forums fun and cause me to chuckle. Amen.
92481331 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
It was wonderful. Us Johnnies had a field day. That Timmy with the Grizzly bears would actually have to think about swinging into your Mogg Fanatic, giving you time to set up your silly combo. Nowadays it's all DERPSWING! with thier blue jeans and their MP3 players and their EM EM OH AR PEE JEES and their "Dewmocracy" and their children's card games and their Jersey Shores and their Tattooed Tenaged Vampire Hunters from Beverly Hills
Seriously, that was amazing. I laughed my *ss off. Made my day, and I just woke up.
[quote=ArtVenn You're still one of my favorite people... just sayin'.[/quote]
56756068 wrote:
56786788 wrote:
.....would it be a bit blasphemous if I said, "PRAYSE RPJAYSUS!" like an Evangelical preacher?
Perhaps, but who doesn't like to blaspheme every now and again? Especially when Mr. RPJesus is completely right.
56756068 wrote:
I don't say this often, but ... LOL
57526128 wrote:
You... You... Evil something... I actualy made the damn char once I saw the poster... Now you made me see it again and I gained resolve to put it into my campaign. Shell be high standing oficial of Cyrix order. Uterly mad and only slightly evil. And it'll be bad. Evil even. And ill blame you and Lizard for it :P.
57042968 wrote:
111809331 wrote:
I'm trying to work out if you're being sarcastic here. ...
Am going to stop you right there... it's RPJesus... he's always sarcastic
58335208 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
112114441 wrote:
we can only hope it gets the jace treatment...it could have at least been legendary
So that even the decks that don't run it run it to deal with it? Isn't that like the definition of format warping?
I lol'd.
56287226 wrote:
98088088 wrote:
Uktabi Orangutan What the heck's going on with those monkeys?
The most common answer is that they are what RPJesus would call "[Debutantes avert your eyes]ing."
56965458 wrote:
Show
57461258 wrote:
116498949 wrote:
I’ve removed content from this thread because off-topic discussions are a violation of the Code of Conduct. You can review the Code here: www.wizards.com/Company/About.aspx?x=wz_... Please keep your posts polite, on-topic, and refrain from making personal attacks. You are welcome to disagree with one another but please do so respectfully and constructively. If you wish to report a post for Code of Conduct violation, click on the “Report Post” button above the post and this will submit your report to the moderators on duty.
...Am I the only one that thinks this is reaching the point of downright Kafkaesque insanity?
I condone the use of the word Kafkaesque. However, I'm presentely ambivalent. I mean, that can't be serious, right? We're April 1st, right? They didn't mod RPJesus for off-topic discussion when the WHOLE THREAD IS OFF-TOPIC, right? Right.
57545908 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
Save or die. If you disagree with this, you're wrong (Not because of any points or arguements that have been made, but I just rolled a d20 for you and got a 1, so you lose).
58397368 wrote:
58222628 wrote:
This just won the argument, AFAIC.
That's just awesome.
57471038 wrote:
57718868 wrote:
HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THE BEAR PRODUCING WORDS OF WILDING?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!
That's what RPJesus tends to do. That's why I don't think he's a real person, but some Magic Card Archive Server sort of machine, that is programmed to react to other posters' comments with obscure cards that do in fact exist, but somehow missed by even the most experienced Magic players. And then come up with strange combos with said cards. All of that is impossible for a normal human to do given the amount of time he does it and how often he does it. He/It got me with Light of Sanction, which prompted me to go to RQ&A to try and find if it was even possible to do combat damage to a creature I control (in light that Mark of Asylum exists).
71235715 wrote:
+10
100176878 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
57078538 wrote:
heaven or hell.
Round 1. Lets rock.
GG quotes! RPJesus just made this thread win!
56906968 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
143359585 wrote:
Blue players get all the overpowerered cards like JTMS. I think it's time that wizards gave something to people who remember what magic is really about: creatures.
Initially yes, Wizards was married to blue. However, about a decade ago they had a nasty divorce, and a few years after that they began courting the attention of Green. Then in Worldwake they had a nasty affair with their ex, but as of Innistrad, things seem to have gotten back on track, and Wizards has even proposed.
You are my favorite. Yes you. And moments like this make it so. Thank you RPJesus for just being you.
On what flavor text fits me:
57307308 wrote:
Surely RPJesus gets Niv-Mizzet, Dracogenius?
56874518 wrote:
First: I STILL can't take you seriously with that avatar. And I can take RPJesus seriously, so that's saying something.
121689989 wrote:
I'd offer you a cookie for making me laugh but it has an Upkeep Cost that has been known to cause people to quit eating.
56267956 wrote:
I <3 you loads
57400888 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
"AINT NO LAWS IN THE SKY MOTHER****." - Agrus Kos, Wojek Veteran
10/10. Amazing.
Maslow's Blessing

Sorcery
Target player becomes self-actualized. (That player gains employment in a field to which they find a sense of personal satisfaction and purpose in life.  If that player does not meet prerequisites for becoming self-actualized, such as support from others or self-respect, those prerequisites are fulfilled.  The player does not win the game or lose the game, but may respectfully realize that the game is unimportant and concede without any feeling of lost self-respect since he or she has found a more important purpose for living.)

"Counterspell!"
"I will cut you!"




I think Dash Hopes or Dismal Failure would be more apropro there :33.



Well crap, why didn't I think of that?  My joke has apparently become a dismal failure... 

Show
144902215 wrote:
Sometimes I imagine what Cisnero's life must be like. I imagine cargo pants - every pocket stuffed with coins. I imagine him (I almost said "him or her" but then I decided his gender with through the randomization of a small metal disk) - I imagine him, shopping, purchasing food, choosing which spot to park in, all through this meticulous flipping process. I imagine him asking a girl out, taking her to have a drink or whatever and then asking if she wants to play this fun game. When she responds "Sure." he removes a single quarter from one of his jingling pockets. Then proceeds to flip it repeatedly while she calls it - until she is able to make up an excuse to leave. Will he respond to this post? Only if the Chaotic Gods of Copper and Nickel deem it so. Someday many years from now, in the Dystopian future world, I'll ride my Billy Idol Unicycle past a bedraggled slumbub - He'll be clad in armor made all of the (now worthless) coins of yesterdecade. He'll grin a shiny grin at me as he flips another coin - and I'll know who it was. How could I not?
Maslow's Blessing

Sorcery
Target player becomes self-actualized. (That player gains employment in a field to which they find a sense of personal satisfaction and purpose in life.  If that player does not meet prerequisites for becoming self-actualized, such as support from others or self-respect, those prerequisites are fulfilled.  The player does not win the game or lose the game, but may respectfully realize that the game is unimportant and concede without any feeling of lost self-respect since he or she has found a more important purpose for living.)

"Counterspell!"
"I will cut you!"




I think Dash Hopes or Dismal Failure would be more apropro there :33.



Well crap, why didn't I think of that?  My joke has apparently become a dismal failure... 




You're such a dismal failure
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