What's with the obligatory dragon and angel of a set?

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They (Wotc) been doing that for a while and now each new sets they print has those guys (inb4riseoftheeldrazididnthaddragons).

Like seriously, where's the rule?

"Just put +1/+1 counters!" -Wizards new motto

I don't mind having a Dragon and an Angel in most sets. As long as the Dragon is not a red hasteless flashless firebreather fatty for six or more mana.
Problem number one is red has little flavor past "Crush them!" and "We eat!"
Level 2 Magic Judge Lite a man a fire, warm him for a day. Light a man on fire, warm him for the rest of his life.
Problem number one is red has little flavor past "Crush them!" and "We eat!"



there's also "golbins r dumb"
192884403 wrote:
firstrike
56965458 wrote:
97820278 wrote:
56965458 wrote:
97820278 wrote:
Ceci n'est pas une pipe.
This definitely doesn't mean what you think it means.
I was referring to the painting The Treachery of Images.
I know.
Problem number one is red has little flavor past "Crush them!" and "We eat!"



there's also "golbins r dumb"



There are goblin merchants, goblin wizards, goblins who are in tune with nature, and goblins who participate in self sacrifice. They can't all be dumb.
i'm talking about golbins, can't you REED
192884403 wrote:
firstrike
56965458 wrote:
97820278 wrote:
56965458 wrote:
97820278 wrote:
Ceci n'est pas une pipe.
This definitely doesn't mean what you think it means.
I was referring to the painting The Treachery of Images.
I know.
Problem number one is red has little flavor past "Crush them!" and "We eat!"



there's also "golbins r dumb"



There are goblin merchants, goblin wizards, goblins who are in tune with nature, and goblins who participate in self sacrifice. They can't all be dumb.


Self Sacrifice is pretty dumb :P. But yeah, there are a few smart goblins, but they're quite rare.

Zammm = Batman.

It's my sig in a box
58280208 wrote:
Everything is better when you read it in Bane's voice.
192334281 wrote:
Your human antics and desire to continue living have moved me. Just kidding. You cannot move me physically or emotionally. Wall humor.
57092228 wrote:
Copy effects work like a photocopy machine: you get a copy of the 'naked' card, NOT of what's on it.
56995928 wrote:
Funny story: InQuest Magazine (I think it was InQuest) had an oversized Chaos Orb which I totally rooked someone into allowing into a (non-sanctioned) game. I had a proxy card that was a Mountain with "Chaos Orb" written on it. When I played it, my opponent cried foul: Him: "WTF? a Proxy? no-one said anything about Proxies. Do you even own an actual Chaos Orb?" Me: "Yes, but I thought it would be better to use a Proxy." Him: "No way. If you're going to put a Chaos Orb in your deck you have to use your actual Chaos Orb." Me: "*Sigh*. Okay." I pulled out this huge Chaos Orb and placed it on the table. He tried to cry foul again but everyone else said he insisted I use my actual Chaos Orb and that was my actual Chaos Orb. I used it, flipped it and wiped most of his board. Unsurprisingly, that only worked once and only because everyone present thought it was hilarious.
My DM on Battleminds:
no, see i can kill defenders, but 8 consecutive crits on a battlemind, eh walk it off.
144543765 wrote:
195392035 wrote:
Hi guys! So, I'm a sort of returning player to Magic. I say sort of because as a child I had two main TCG's I liked. Yu-Gi-Oh, and Pokemon. Some of my friends branched off in to Magic, and I bought two pre-made decks just to kind of fit in. Like I said, Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon were what I really knew how to play. I have a extensive knowledge of deck building in those two TCG's. However, as far as Magic is concerned, I only ever used those two pre made decks. I know how the game is played, and I know general things, but now I want to get in the game for real. I want to begin playing it as a regular. My question is, are all cards ever released from the time of the inception of this game until present day fair game in a deck? Or are there special rules? Are some cards forbidden or restricted? Thanks guys, and I will gladly accept ANY help lol.
I have the same problem with women.
117639611 wrote:
198869283 wrote:
Oh I have a standing rule. If someone plays a Planeswalker I concede the game. I refuse to play with or against people who play Planeswalkers. They really did ruin the game.
A turn two Tibalt win?! Wicked... Betcha don't see that everyday.

The Pony Co. 

Is this my new ego sig? Yes it is, other Barry
57461258 wrote:
And that's why you should never, ever call RP Jesus on being a troll, because then everyone else playing along gets outed, too, and the thread goes back to being boring.
57461258 wrote:
See, this is why RPJesus should be in charge of the storyline. The novel line would never have been cancelled if he had been running the show. Specifically the Slobad and Geth's Head talkshow he just described.
57461258 wrote:
Not only was that an obligatory joke, it was an on-topic post that still managed to be off-topic due to thread derailment. RP Jesus does it again folks.
92481331 wrote:
I think I'm gonna' start praying to Jesus... That's right, RPJesus, I'm gonna' be praying to you, right now. O' Jesus Please continue to make my time here on the forums fun and cause me to chuckle. Amen.
92481331 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
It was wonderful. Us Johnnies had a field day. That Timmy with the Grizzly bears would actually have to think about swinging into your Mogg Fanatic, giving you time to set up your silly combo. Nowadays it's all DERPSWING! with thier blue jeans and their MP3 players and their EM EM OH AR PEE JEES and their "Dewmocracy" and their children's card games and their Jersey Shores and their Tattooed Tenaged Vampire Hunters from Beverly Hills
Seriously, that was amazing. I laughed my *ss off. Made my day, and I just woke up.
[quote=ArtVenn You're still one of my favorite people... just sayin'.[/quote]
56756068 wrote:
56786788 wrote:
.....would it be a bit blasphemous if I said, "PRAYSE RPJAYSUS!" like an Evangelical preacher?
Perhaps, but who doesn't like to blaspheme every now and again? Especially when Mr. RPJesus is completely right.
56756068 wrote:
I don't say this often, but ... LOL
57526128 wrote:
You... You... Evil something... I actualy made the damn char once I saw the poster... Now you made me see it again and I gained resolve to put it into my campaign. Shell be high standing oficial of Cyrix order. Uterly mad and only slightly evil. And it'll be bad. Evil even. And ill blame you and Lizard for it :P.
57042968 wrote:
111809331 wrote:
I'm trying to work out if you're being sarcastic here. ...
Am going to stop you right there... it's RPJesus... he's always sarcastic
58335208 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
112114441 wrote:
we can only hope it gets the jace treatment...it could have at least been legendary
So that even the decks that don't run it run it to deal with it? Isn't that like the definition of format warping?
I lol'd.
56287226 wrote:
98088088 wrote:
Uktabi Orangutan What the heck's going on with those monkeys?
The most common answer is that they are what RPJesus would call "[Debutantes avert your eyes]ing."
56965458 wrote:
Show
57461258 wrote:
116498949 wrote:
I’ve removed content from this thread because off-topic discussions are a violation of the Code of Conduct. You can review the Code here: www.wizards.com/Company/About.aspx?x=wz_... Please keep your posts polite, on-topic, and refrain from making personal attacks. You are welcome to disagree with one another but please do so respectfully and constructively. If you wish to report a post for Code of Conduct violation, click on the “Report Post” button above the post and this will submit your report to the moderators on duty.
...Am I the only one that thinks this is reaching the point of downright Kafkaesque insanity?
I condone the use of the word Kafkaesque. However, I'm presentely ambivalent. I mean, that can't be serious, right? We're April 1st, right? They didn't mod RPJesus for off-topic discussion when the WHOLE THREAD IS OFF-TOPIC, right? Right.
57545908 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
Save or die. If you disagree with this, you're wrong (Not because of any points or arguements that have been made, but I just rolled a d20 for you and got a 1, so you lose).
58397368 wrote:
58222628 wrote:
This just won the argument, AFAIC.
That's just awesome.
57471038 wrote:
57718868 wrote:
HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THE BEAR PRODUCING WORDS OF WILDING?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!
That's what RPJesus tends to do. That's why I don't think he's a real person, but some Magic Card Archive Server sort of machine, that is programmed to react to other posters' comments with obscure cards that do in fact exist, but somehow missed by even the most experienced Magic players. And then come up with strange combos with said cards. All of that is impossible for a normal human to do given the amount of time he does it and how often he does it. He/It got me with Light of Sanction, which prompted me to go to RQ&A to try and find if it was even possible to do combat damage to a creature I control (in light that Mark of Asylum exists).
71235715 wrote:
+10
100176878 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
57078538 wrote:
heaven or hell.
Round 1. Lets rock.
GG quotes! RPJesus just made this thread win!
56906968 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
143359585 wrote:
Blue players get all the overpowerered cards like JTMS. I think it's time that wizards gave something to people who remember what magic is really about: creatures.
Initially yes, Wizards was married to blue. However, about a decade ago they had a nasty divorce, and a few years after that they began courting the attention of Green. Then in Worldwake they had a nasty affair with their ex, but as of Innistrad, things seem to have gotten back on track, and Wizards has even proposed.
You are my favorite. Yes you. And moments like this make it so. Thank you RPJesus for just being you.
On what flavor text fits me:
57307308 wrote:
Surely RPJesus gets Niv-Mizzet, Dracogenius?
56874518 wrote:
First: I STILL can't take you seriously with that avatar. And I can take RPJesus seriously, so that's saying something.
121689989 wrote:
I'd offer you a cookie for making me laugh but it has an Upkeep Cost that has been known to cause people to quit eating.
56267956 wrote:
I <3 you loads
57400888 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
"AINT NO LAWS IN THE SKY MOTHER****." - Agrus Kos, Wojek Veteran
10/10. Amazing.
People like angels.  People like dragons.  Mystery solved.

The two in RtR are pretty flashy, too.  I like'em.

University of Charleston School of Pharmacy, Class of 2016

My Peasant Cube: A Cube for the Commoners

How do you post a link inside a word? I was going to link to the "Rule of Cool" page on TV Tropes.
Thank you Blitzschnell for the awesome banner!
I don't treally know why there are so many in RtR. Wasn't it a part of the setting that Dragons had been hunted nearly to extinction, and that was the reason only Niv-Mizzet and Hunted Dragon were in the set? And now they're everywhere. I assume Wizards has given it some kind of handwave, but I don't know what it might be. Merfolk got 'they were just hiding', so I'm not expecting fireworks here.
Niv hunted down all the intelligent dragons down, at least; I'm assuming he left the non-sentient and semi-sentient variants be, as they weren't threats to him.

Come join me at No Goblins Allowed


Because frankly, being here depresses me these days.

The angels at least are unsurprising given that Boros was led by them. The dragons are slightly more surprising, but either Niv-Mizzet or the Simic being responsible for making more dragons just for the lulz would not be too out of character for either of them. (SIDE NOTE: Rakdos Pit Dragon says that the dragons weren't really hunted that close to extinction anyways)

Although there are times when the dragon/angel are out of place, I don't really think this is one of them. Honestly I think the most out of place fatty is Worldspine Wurm since it's ridiculously huge and I'm not sure where in the city it's allegedly hiding. At least Autochthon Wurm was explicitly tied to Selesnya and so was presumably being cared for by them. 
Immature College Student (Also a Rules Advisor)
I don't treally know why there are so many in RtR. Wasn't it a part of the setting that Dragons had been hunted nearly to extinction, and that was the reason only Niv-Mizzet and Hunted Dragon were in the set? And now they're everywhere. I assume Wizards has given it some kind of handwave, but I don't know what it might be. Merfolk got 'they were just hiding', so I'm not expecting fireworks here.

What do you mean by everywhere? Not including Niv-Mizzet, the original Ravnica had one, and Return to Ravnica has two.
How do you post a link inside a word? I was going to link to the "Rule of Cool" page on TV Tropes.


Highlight the text, click the link button (Bottom row, far left) and copy the URL into the thing.
Voinya

Zammm = Batman.

It's my sig in a box
58280208 wrote:
Everything is better when you read it in Bane's voice.
192334281 wrote:
Your human antics and desire to continue living have moved me. Just kidding. You cannot move me physically or emotionally. Wall humor.
57092228 wrote:
Copy effects work like a photocopy machine: you get a copy of the 'naked' card, NOT of what's on it.
56995928 wrote:
Funny story: InQuest Magazine (I think it was InQuest) had an oversized Chaos Orb which I totally rooked someone into allowing into a (non-sanctioned) game. I had a proxy card that was a Mountain with "Chaos Orb" written on it. When I played it, my opponent cried foul: Him: "WTF? a Proxy? no-one said anything about Proxies. Do you even own an actual Chaos Orb?" Me: "Yes, but I thought it would be better to use a Proxy." Him: "No way. If you're going to put a Chaos Orb in your deck you have to use your actual Chaos Orb." Me: "*Sigh*. Okay." I pulled out this huge Chaos Orb and placed it on the table. He tried to cry foul again but everyone else said he insisted I use my actual Chaos Orb and that was my actual Chaos Orb. I used it, flipped it and wiped most of his board. Unsurprisingly, that only worked once and only because everyone present thought it was hilarious.
My DM on Battleminds:
no, see i can kill defenders, but 8 consecutive crits on a battlemind, eh walk it off.
144543765 wrote:
195392035 wrote:
Hi guys! So, I'm a sort of returning player to Magic. I say sort of because as a child I had two main TCG's I liked. Yu-Gi-Oh, and Pokemon. Some of my friends branched off in to Magic, and I bought two pre-made decks just to kind of fit in. Like I said, Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon were what I really knew how to play. I have a extensive knowledge of deck building in those two TCG's. However, as far as Magic is concerned, I only ever used those two pre made decks. I know how the game is played, and I know general things, but now I want to get in the game for real. I want to begin playing it as a regular. My question is, are all cards ever released from the time of the inception of this game until present day fair game in a deck? Or are there special rules? Are some cards forbidden or restricted? Thanks guys, and I will gladly accept ANY help lol.
I have the same problem with women.
117639611 wrote:
198869283 wrote:
Oh I have a standing rule. If someone plays a Planeswalker I concede the game. I refuse to play with or against people who play Planeswalkers. They really did ruin the game.
A turn two Tibalt win?! Wicked... Betcha don't see that everyday.

The Pony Co. 

Is this my new ego sig? Yes it is, other Barry
57461258 wrote:
And that's why you should never, ever call RP Jesus on being a troll, because then everyone else playing along gets outed, too, and the thread goes back to being boring.
57461258 wrote:
See, this is why RPJesus should be in charge of the storyline. The novel line would never have been cancelled if he had been running the show. Specifically the Slobad and Geth's Head talkshow he just described.
57461258 wrote:
Not only was that an obligatory joke, it was an on-topic post that still managed to be off-topic due to thread derailment. RP Jesus does it again folks.
92481331 wrote:
I think I'm gonna' start praying to Jesus... That's right, RPJesus, I'm gonna' be praying to you, right now. O' Jesus Please continue to make my time here on the forums fun and cause me to chuckle. Amen.
92481331 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
It was wonderful. Us Johnnies had a field day. That Timmy with the Grizzly bears would actually have to think about swinging into your Mogg Fanatic, giving you time to set up your silly combo. Nowadays it's all DERPSWING! with thier blue jeans and their MP3 players and their EM EM OH AR PEE JEES and their "Dewmocracy" and their children's card games and their Jersey Shores and their Tattooed Tenaged Vampire Hunters from Beverly Hills
Seriously, that was amazing. I laughed my *ss off. Made my day, and I just woke up.
[quote=ArtVenn You're still one of my favorite people... just sayin'.[/quote]
56756068 wrote:
56786788 wrote:
.....would it be a bit blasphemous if I said, "PRAYSE RPJAYSUS!" like an Evangelical preacher?
Perhaps, but who doesn't like to blaspheme every now and again? Especially when Mr. RPJesus is completely right.
56756068 wrote:
I don't say this often, but ... LOL
57526128 wrote:
You... You... Evil something... I actualy made the damn char once I saw the poster... Now you made me see it again and I gained resolve to put it into my campaign. Shell be high standing oficial of Cyrix order. Uterly mad and only slightly evil. And it'll be bad. Evil even. And ill blame you and Lizard for it :P.
57042968 wrote:
111809331 wrote:
I'm trying to work out if you're being sarcastic here. ...
Am going to stop you right there... it's RPJesus... he's always sarcastic
58335208 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
112114441 wrote:
we can only hope it gets the jace treatment...it could have at least been legendary
So that even the decks that don't run it run it to deal with it? Isn't that like the definition of format warping?
I lol'd.
56287226 wrote:
98088088 wrote:
Uktabi Orangutan What the heck's going on with those monkeys?
The most common answer is that they are what RPJesus would call "[Debutantes avert your eyes]ing."
56965458 wrote:
Show
57461258 wrote:
116498949 wrote:
I’ve removed content from this thread because off-topic discussions are a violation of the Code of Conduct. You can review the Code here: www.wizards.com/Company/About.aspx?x=wz_... Please keep your posts polite, on-topic, and refrain from making personal attacks. You are welcome to disagree with one another but please do so respectfully and constructively. If you wish to report a post for Code of Conduct violation, click on the “Report Post” button above the post and this will submit your report to the moderators on duty.
...Am I the only one that thinks this is reaching the point of downright Kafkaesque insanity?
I condone the use of the word Kafkaesque. However, I'm presentely ambivalent. I mean, that can't be serious, right? We're April 1st, right? They didn't mod RPJesus for off-topic discussion when the WHOLE THREAD IS OFF-TOPIC, right? Right.
57545908 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
Save or die. If you disagree with this, you're wrong (Not because of any points or arguements that have been made, but I just rolled a d20 for you and got a 1, so you lose).
58397368 wrote:
58222628 wrote:
This just won the argument, AFAIC.
That's just awesome.
57471038 wrote:
57718868 wrote:
HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THE BEAR PRODUCING WORDS OF WILDING?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!
That's what RPJesus tends to do. That's why I don't think he's a real person, but some Magic Card Archive Server sort of machine, that is programmed to react to other posters' comments with obscure cards that do in fact exist, but somehow missed by even the most experienced Magic players. And then come up with strange combos with said cards. All of that is impossible for a normal human to do given the amount of time he does it and how often he does it. He/It got me with Light of Sanction, which prompted me to go to RQ&A to try and find if it was even possible to do combat damage to a creature I control (in light that Mark of Asylum exists).
71235715 wrote:
+10
100176878 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
57078538 wrote:
heaven or hell.
Round 1. Lets rock.
GG quotes! RPJesus just made this thread win!
56906968 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
143359585 wrote:
Blue players get all the overpowerered cards like JTMS. I think it's time that wizards gave something to people who remember what magic is really about: creatures.
Initially yes, Wizards was married to blue. However, about a decade ago they had a nasty divorce, and a few years after that they began courting the attention of Green. Then in Worldwake they had a nasty affair with their ex, but as of Innistrad, things seem to have gotten back on track, and Wizards has even proposed.
You are my favorite. Yes you. And moments like this make it so. Thank you RPJesus for just being you.
On what flavor text fits me:
57307308 wrote:
Surely RPJesus gets Niv-Mizzet, Dracogenius?
56874518 wrote:
First: I STILL can't take you seriously with that avatar. And I can take RPJesus seriously, so that's saying something.
121689989 wrote:
I'd offer you a cookie for making me laugh but it has an Upkeep Cost that has been known to cause people to quit eating.
56267956 wrote:
I <3 you loads
57400888 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
"AINT NO LAWS IN THE SKY MOTHER****." - Agrus Kos, Wojek Veteran
10/10. Amazing.
People love playing angels, demons, and dragons. They're the most flavorful iconics. Alpha gave blue djinn, but Arabian Nights gave every color but white a djinn. These days, blue's iconic is "sphinx". I imagine someone solving a sphinx's riddle and the sphinx insulting him and prophesying his future marital arrangements at the same time.

I exclude green because Force of Nature had the ambiguous (and no longer supported) "Force" creature type, its downside was far less flavorful than Lord of the Pit, and its hunger for green mana meant no Channel shenanigans. The other option, at common, is Craw Wurm, which is so janky that it's the subject of more jokes than my earlier bit of Oedipal humor. More recently, it's hydra, which at least can use green's ramp strategy.

So, basically, angels, demons, dragons, people love playing them.
139359831 wrote:
Clever deduction Watson! Maybe you can explain why Supergirl is trying to kill me.
---- Autocard is your friend. Lightning Bolt = Lightning Bolt
Problem number one is red has little flavor past "Crush them!" and "We eat!"



there's also "golbins r dumb"



There are goblin merchants, goblin wizards, goblins who are in tune with nature, and goblins who participate in self sacrifice. They can't all be dumb.


Self Sacrifice is pretty dumb :P. But yeah, there are a few smart goblins, but they're quite rare.



A grenade is something that is thrown. I wouldn't call it self sacrifice, though it could be. Also there are a lot of dumb goblins who's "sacrifice effect" is more like them just getting themselves killed. But there are plenty of cases that show some intelligence behind action.
Goblin Legionnaire: This is perhaps the best example, I'm sure you can see why.
Dragon's Herald: This card has relligious ritualistic undertones.
Goblin Flectomancer: Flectomancer seems pretty content with partaking in a dangerous experiment in the name of science.
Ember Hauler: This gives me strong Veitnam War vibes. The goblin may not be smart, but he has a personality and feels human.

Still waiting for them to reprint Dragonspeaker Shaman in a standard legal set.
I am White/Green
I am White/Green
Take The Magic Dual Colour Test - Beta today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.
I am both orderly and instinctive. I value community and group identity, defining myself by the social group I am a part of. At best, I'm selfless and strong-willed; at worst, I'm unoriginal and mindless.
People like angels.  People like dragons.  Mystery solved.



REMEMBER FLUFFY, mercilessly slain by the bastard Useless Mancer
Fluffy, the cute and cuddly baloth beatstick of marshmellowy fluffyness and lolz, om-nom-noming Keeper's wicked soul; its insane, deadly amount of cuteness rips the fabric of reality to shreds, its pink, soft, round teeth dripping with honey, every breath spreading the repugnant smell of fresh flowers, this horrifying creature of destruction devastates Keeper by spreading its deadly, all-powerful fluff over the countryside, laying waste to dragon and furry bunny alike. It comes howling out of the east, an endless rattling and gnashing of teeth, a twisted grinding pull on the very fabric of reality threatening to consume body and mind alike in an endless glimmering pink torrent. Nothing is more terrible than the sun glittering on its teeth, save perhaps the light glancing off the oily tones of the sequins that cover its hotpants. Of course, there was that child who tried to eat Fluffy, mistaking him for a giant, walking piece of cotton candy. That child... is now the almighty leader of Fluffy, controlling his every move, sending him to devour the people that cross his path. And Keeper. Because we said so. Nothing can stop Fluffy's march to victory, spreading the sweet smell of strawberries where ever it lays its mighty paw. Followed by many jolly fairies singing joyful songs about Fluffy's cuddlyness, the baloth wanders the mountains of Zendikarland on a quest to share the love with Keeper, tough love that is...
Fluffy, we'll miss you friend. We'll miss you...
Siggy Siggables
56544366 wrote:
My other name consideration was "Thermodynamics of Doom!"
58271798 wrote:
Master Yumyums! Master Yumyums! I made it even more unfun! Spirited Betrayal Sorcery All lands are copies of Night of Souls' Betrayal. The legend rule doesn't apply to them. *Headsplosion*
56267956 wrote:
76064519 wrote:
If they make Mono-blue control a viable option for FNM again, I'm going to force myself to browse 4chan while listening to Hannah Montana and Justin Bieber and then I'm going to read Twilight books before I go to sleep for 1 whole week...
I already do that.
56544366 wrote:
57718868 wrote:
I NEED GRADES TO MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL.
Use of caps lock: 9/10
58438088 wrote:
We were goddamn slowly making our way towards those **** mountains. The road was all filthy and wet, bird **** on every step and eldrazi piss raining from the sky. "So those ****tards are finally awake huh?" my idiotic companion asked. "Yep, we're in deep ****, homie." "Wazzup?" "Nothing, just pissed." My companion looked to the sky. A drop of the eldrazi urine fell right in his eye. "Oh, man. Now I'm pissed too." As we were moving on, we were looking around on the innocent nature. Two baloths were doing it on the road so we had to make a little detour. The pools of piss were kinda unpleasant but at least it was warm so we had no trouble at night. "One gets used to piss running down your face you know." said my companion. "F'shizzle." answered I stoicly and kicked two rabbits, who were doing nasty things to each other's ass, in the ass. "Man one can't take a spit here without hitting some shamming animals." "Word. Zendikar sucks. Hope the eldrazi contribute a little to the population regulation." As my companion said that, a gigantic, 20 meters tall eldrazi slithered by. On it's arms and tentacles were remains of birds, rabbits, baloths, angels, planeswalkers, dragons, krakens and a few cities. We stood up and clapped loudly. "A few bitches less." (People don't get banned for such posts do they?)
58021268 wrote:
Am I the only one? Looking over the recent threads debating the merits of "Belgium," the various ideas to "fix" England and other topics which concern European nations, I'm struck by how much I don't care what happens. Britain and Spain are, to me, completely inaccessible due to the Atlantic Ocean, not to mention volcanoes and socialism. I sound like I'm bashing European nations, and I guess I kind of am. If you enjoy living in France, Luxembourg, Poland or any other, older nation, that's fantastic. I just don't see why there's such a huge uproar about a volcano that is mostly affecting a niche group of people.
57008088 wrote:
57036138 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
57052258 wrote:
Hell, I don't even like that they printed Pillarfield Ox
I'm real happy for you, and I'mma let you finish, but pillarfield ox has one of the best pieces of art of all time. Of all time.
Really? I don't really see the greatness.
It's an Ox. In a PILLARFIELD. That's like, a field of frickin' PILLARS, but to this Ox it just looks like an ordinary field of grass - because he is so BADASS.
56916508 wrote:
Finally, Master Yumyums just had probably the most boring, worthless card in the entire contest. Why would you need to give creatures -1/-0 on your turn? To beat them down with your nonflying blue aggro deck that plays a bad win condition card to win (and if you are playing the critters, why aren't you winning with them?!)? And the win condition itself is so mindblowingly difficult it seems like it was only made simply to fit the criteria.
Derivative Radial Tangent Calculation of Pure, Absolute, Utmost, Uncontestable and Utter Doom Newton's Second Law of Equations As an additional calculation to add to ~, reveal a Mathematical Equation from your hand, with a converted mana casting cost equal to a Prime Number. (Prime numbers are 2, 3, 5, 7, 11 13, 17...) ~ costs ƒ(x) = Σπ(δƒ(u)-ƒ(x)) if you're a fan of René Descartes in Facebook. ~ deals X damage to each creature your opponents control within a radius of X KM from ~, where X is the revealed Equation's converted mana cost. ~ deals Y damages to target player, where Y is the area of the Sphere (using the first 50 digits of pi as pi). ~ deals Z less damage, where Z is the distance in Lightyears from the centerpoint of the Sphere. Add up X, Y and Z and round it up to the closest number. Multiply the damage ~ would deal by m, where m is the number of multiples of that number. Calculate the first 50 Fibonaci numbers: Deal the difference between the 25-50th numbers, and the first 25 numbers. As long as the angular acceleration of an object t approaches maximum velocity relative to the cross product of a vector n and its bisector as the object passes through point Q at vector n's convergence in zero gravity, Disastrous Radial Tangent Calculation can't be countered. As long as you can do a geometric proof of anything on this card, target opponent must be doing one. Otherwise, he or she loses the game. (both games. you just lost the game.)


A grenade is something that is thrown. I wouldn't call it self sacrifice, though it could be.



Look at the Fallen Empires version, specifically with the Dan Frazier art (i.e. the best one :33)



Goblin Legionnaire: This is perhaps the best example, I'm sure you can see why.


Fair point, I mostly just wanted an excuse to use Slobad's flavor text, it's one of my favorites (Plus Slobad was awesome).
Dragon's Herald: This card has relligious ritualistic undertones.


AHAHAHAHA, not even touching this one :33.
Goblin Flectomancer: Flectomancer seems pretty content with partaking in a dangerous experiment in the name of science.
Ember Hauler: This gives me strong Veitnam War vibes. The goblin may not be smart, but he has a personality and feels human.


Fair enough, although they both still have the "lolstupidgoblins" flavor text though.

Zammm = Batman.

It's my sig in a box
58280208 wrote:
Everything is better when you read it in Bane's voice.
192334281 wrote:
Your human antics and desire to continue living have moved me. Just kidding. You cannot move me physically or emotionally. Wall humor.
57092228 wrote:
Copy effects work like a photocopy machine: you get a copy of the 'naked' card, NOT of what's on it.
56995928 wrote:
Funny story: InQuest Magazine (I think it was InQuest) had an oversized Chaos Orb which I totally rooked someone into allowing into a (non-sanctioned) game. I had a proxy card that was a Mountain with "Chaos Orb" written on it. When I played it, my opponent cried foul: Him: "WTF? a Proxy? no-one said anything about Proxies. Do you even own an actual Chaos Orb?" Me: "Yes, but I thought it would be better to use a Proxy." Him: "No way. If you're going to put a Chaos Orb in your deck you have to use your actual Chaos Orb." Me: "*Sigh*. Okay." I pulled out this huge Chaos Orb and placed it on the table. He tried to cry foul again but everyone else said he insisted I use my actual Chaos Orb and that was my actual Chaos Orb. I used it, flipped it and wiped most of his board. Unsurprisingly, that only worked once and only because everyone present thought it was hilarious.
My DM on Battleminds:
no, see i can kill defenders, but 8 consecutive crits on a battlemind, eh walk it off.
144543765 wrote:
195392035 wrote:
Hi guys! So, I'm a sort of returning player to Magic. I say sort of because as a child I had two main TCG's I liked. Yu-Gi-Oh, and Pokemon. Some of my friends branched off in to Magic, and I bought two pre-made decks just to kind of fit in. Like I said, Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon were what I really knew how to play. I have a extensive knowledge of deck building in those two TCG's. However, as far as Magic is concerned, I only ever used those two pre made decks. I know how the game is played, and I know general things, but now I want to get in the game for real. I want to begin playing it as a regular. My question is, are all cards ever released from the time of the inception of this game until present day fair game in a deck? Or are there special rules? Are some cards forbidden or restricted? Thanks guys, and I will gladly accept ANY help lol.
I have the same problem with women.
117639611 wrote:
198869283 wrote:
Oh I have a standing rule. If someone plays a Planeswalker I concede the game. I refuse to play with or against people who play Planeswalkers. They really did ruin the game.
A turn two Tibalt win?! Wicked... Betcha don't see that everyday.

The Pony Co. 

Is this my new ego sig? Yes it is, other Barry
57461258 wrote:
And that's why you should never, ever call RP Jesus on being a troll, because then everyone else playing along gets outed, too, and the thread goes back to being boring.
57461258 wrote:
See, this is why RPJesus should be in charge of the storyline. The novel line would never have been cancelled if he had been running the show. Specifically the Slobad and Geth's Head talkshow he just described.
57461258 wrote:
Not only was that an obligatory joke, it was an on-topic post that still managed to be off-topic due to thread derailment. RP Jesus does it again folks.
92481331 wrote:
I think I'm gonna' start praying to Jesus... That's right, RPJesus, I'm gonna' be praying to you, right now. O' Jesus Please continue to make my time here on the forums fun and cause me to chuckle. Amen.
92481331 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
It was wonderful. Us Johnnies had a field day. That Timmy with the Grizzly bears would actually have to think about swinging into your Mogg Fanatic, giving you time to set up your silly combo. Nowadays it's all DERPSWING! with thier blue jeans and their MP3 players and their EM EM OH AR PEE JEES and their "Dewmocracy" and their children's card games and their Jersey Shores and their Tattooed Tenaged Vampire Hunters from Beverly Hills
Seriously, that was amazing. I laughed my *ss off. Made my day, and I just woke up.
[quote=ArtVenn You're still one of my favorite people... just sayin'.[/quote]
56756068 wrote:
56786788 wrote:
.....would it be a bit blasphemous if I said, "PRAYSE RPJAYSUS!" like an Evangelical preacher?
Perhaps, but who doesn't like to blaspheme every now and again? Especially when Mr. RPJesus is completely right.
56756068 wrote:
I don't say this often, but ... LOL
57526128 wrote:
You... You... Evil something... I actualy made the damn char once I saw the poster... Now you made me see it again and I gained resolve to put it into my campaign. Shell be high standing oficial of Cyrix order. Uterly mad and only slightly evil. And it'll be bad. Evil even. And ill blame you and Lizard for it :P.
57042968 wrote:
111809331 wrote:
I'm trying to work out if you're being sarcastic here. ...
Am going to stop you right there... it's RPJesus... he's always sarcastic
58335208 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
112114441 wrote:
we can only hope it gets the jace treatment...it could have at least been legendary
So that even the decks that don't run it run it to deal with it? Isn't that like the definition of format warping?
I lol'd.
56287226 wrote:
98088088 wrote:
Uktabi Orangutan What the heck's going on with those monkeys?
The most common answer is that they are what RPJesus would call "[Debutantes avert your eyes]ing."
56965458 wrote:
Show
57461258 wrote:
116498949 wrote:
I’ve removed content from this thread because off-topic discussions are a violation of the Code of Conduct. You can review the Code here: www.wizards.com/Company/About.aspx?x=wz_... Please keep your posts polite, on-topic, and refrain from making personal attacks. You are welcome to disagree with one another but please do so respectfully and constructively. If you wish to report a post for Code of Conduct violation, click on the “Report Post” button above the post and this will submit your report to the moderators on duty.
...Am I the only one that thinks this is reaching the point of downright Kafkaesque insanity?
I condone the use of the word Kafkaesque. However, I'm presentely ambivalent. I mean, that can't be serious, right? We're April 1st, right? They didn't mod RPJesus for off-topic discussion when the WHOLE THREAD IS OFF-TOPIC, right? Right.
57545908 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
Save or die. If you disagree with this, you're wrong (Not because of any points or arguements that have been made, but I just rolled a d20 for you and got a 1, so you lose).
58397368 wrote:
58222628 wrote:
This just won the argument, AFAIC.
That's just awesome.
57471038 wrote:
57718868 wrote:
HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THE BEAR PRODUCING WORDS OF WILDING?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!
That's what RPJesus tends to do. That's why I don't think he's a real person, but some Magic Card Archive Server sort of machine, that is programmed to react to other posters' comments with obscure cards that do in fact exist, but somehow missed by even the most experienced Magic players. And then come up with strange combos with said cards. All of that is impossible for a normal human to do given the amount of time he does it and how often he does it. He/It got me with Light of Sanction, which prompted me to go to RQ&A to try and find if it was even possible to do combat damage to a creature I control (in light that Mark of Asylum exists).
71235715 wrote:
+10
100176878 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
57078538 wrote:
heaven or hell.
Round 1. Lets rock.
GG quotes! RPJesus just made this thread win!
56906968 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
143359585 wrote:
Blue players get all the overpowerered cards like JTMS. I think it's time that wizards gave something to people who remember what magic is really about: creatures.
Initially yes, Wizards was married to blue. However, about a decade ago they had a nasty divorce, and a few years after that they began courting the attention of Green. Then in Worldwake they had a nasty affair with their ex, but as of Innistrad, things seem to have gotten back on track, and Wizards has even proposed.
You are my favorite. Yes you. And moments like this make it so. Thank you RPJesus for just being you.
On what flavor text fits me:
57307308 wrote:
Surely RPJesus gets Niv-Mizzet, Dracogenius?
56874518 wrote:
First: I STILL can't take you seriously with that avatar. And I can take RPJesus seriously, so that's saying something.
121689989 wrote:
I'd offer you a cookie for making me laugh but it has an Upkeep Cost that has been known to cause people to quit eating.
56267956 wrote:
I <3 you loads
57400888 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
"AINT NO LAWS IN THE SKY MOTHER****." - Agrus Kos, Wojek Veteran
10/10. Amazing.


@RPJesus
The goblin systematically procured three monsters from specific regions of the color pie and coated them in a savory glaze in order to invoke the Dragon Apocolypse. This act is so involved that it is unparalleled by a vast number of 's intellectual experiments or 's quests for power. This Goblin possibly built his whole life up to this ritual. Don't deglamorize it!



Well yeah, pulling a dragon out of one's posterior is impressive, don't get me wrong, I'm just saying that it doesn't necesarily indicate intelligence. Hell, my sources inform me that the goblins in... Warhammer, I think, are so dumb that they're able to change reality. Like, if one of them picks up a stick and thinks it's a rocket launcher, it becomes a rocket launcher. But if he realizes what he's doing, it stops working because he no longer believes hard enough if he's self-aware. Plus Gurren Lagann (And really even if that particular goblin is smart, my whole point that being capable of performing rituals doesn't necessarily indicate more than rudimentary intelligence still stands).

 @RPJ:

Sounds painful.  Jobs don't sound all that fun, to understate as much as possible. 

And yeah I went there.  In a totally neutral way.  BRING OUT YOUR TORCHES AND PITCHFORKS.



Actually I don't mind jobs so much, it's the search process that's stupid and dumb and should go die in a fire. I was at least lucky enough to have an awesome summer job the past four years, so I've got a bit of experience, but still blargh.

Torches and pitchforks? How European of you. Here in 'MURRKA, we use GRNS :P. 

Zammm = Batman.

It's my sig in a box
58280208 wrote:
Everything is better when you read it in Bane's voice.
192334281 wrote:
Your human antics and desire to continue living have moved me. Just kidding. You cannot move me physically or emotionally. Wall humor.
57092228 wrote:
Copy effects work like a photocopy machine: you get a copy of the 'naked' card, NOT of what's on it.
56995928 wrote:
Funny story: InQuest Magazine (I think it was InQuest) had an oversized Chaos Orb which I totally rooked someone into allowing into a (non-sanctioned) game. I had a proxy card that was a Mountain with "Chaos Orb" written on it. When I played it, my opponent cried foul: Him: "WTF? a Proxy? no-one said anything about Proxies. Do you even own an actual Chaos Orb?" Me: "Yes, but I thought it would be better to use a Proxy." Him: "No way. If you're going to put a Chaos Orb in your deck you have to use your actual Chaos Orb." Me: "*Sigh*. Okay." I pulled out this huge Chaos Orb and placed it on the table. He tried to cry foul again but everyone else said he insisted I use my actual Chaos Orb and that was my actual Chaos Orb. I used it, flipped it and wiped most of his board. Unsurprisingly, that only worked once and only because everyone present thought it was hilarious.
My DM on Battleminds:
no, see i can kill defenders, but 8 consecutive crits on a battlemind, eh walk it off.
144543765 wrote:
195392035 wrote:
Hi guys! So, I'm a sort of returning player to Magic. I say sort of because as a child I had two main TCG's I liked. Yu-Gi-Oh, and Pokemon. Some of my friends branched off in to Magic, and I bought two pre-made decks just to kind of fit in. Like I said, Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon were what I really knew how to play. I have a extensive knowledge of deck building in those two TCG's. However, as far as Magic is concerned, I only ever used those two pre made decks. I know how the game is played, and I know general things, but now I want to get in the game for real. I want to begin playing it as a regular. My question is, are all cards ever released from the time of the inception of this game until present day fair game in a deck? Or are there special rules? Are some cards forbidden or restricted? Thanks guys, and I will gladly accept ANY help lol.
I have the same problem with women.
117639611 wrote:
198869283 wrote:
Oh I have a standing rule. If someone plays a Planeswalker I concede the game. I refuse to play with or against people who play Planeswalkers. They really did ruin the game.
A turn two Tibalt win?! Wicked... Betcha don't see that everyday.

The Pony Co. 

Is this my new ego sig? Yes it is, other Barry
57461258 wrote:
And that's why you should never, ever call RP Jesus on being a troll, because then everyone else playing along gets outed, too, and the thread goes back to being boring.
57461258 wrote:
See, this is why RPJesus should be in charge of the storyline. The novel line would never have been cancelled if he had been running the show. Specifically the Slobad and Geth's Head talkshow he just described.
57461258 wrote:
Not only was that an obligatory joke, it was an on-topic post that still managed to be off-topic due to thread derailment. RP Jesus does it again folks.
92481331 wrote:
I think I'm gonna' start praying to Jesus... That's right, RPJesus, I'm gonna' be praying to you, right now. O' Jesus Please continue to make my time here on the forums fun and cause me to chuckle. Amen.
92481331 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
It was wonderful. Us Johnnies had a field day. That Timmy with the Grizzly bears would actually have to think about swinging into your Mogg Fanatic, giving you time to set up your silly combo. Nowadays it's all DERPSWING! with thier blue jeans and their MP3 players and their EM EM OH AR PEE JEES and their "Dewmocracy" and their children's card games and their Jersey Shores and their Tattooed Tenaged Vampire Hunters from Beverly Hills
Seriously, that was amazing. I laughed my *ss off. Made my day, and I just woke up.
[quote=ArtVenn You're still one of my favorite people... just sayin'.[/quote]
56756068 wrote:
56786788 wrote:
.....would it be a bit blasphemous if I said, "PRAYSE RPJAYSUS!" like an Evangelical preacher?
Perhaps, but who doesn't like to blaspheme every now and again? Especially when Mr. RPJesus is completely right.
56756068 wrote:
I don't say this often, but ... LOL
57526128 wrote:
You... You... Evil something... I actualy made the damn char once I saw the poster... Now you made me see it again and I gained resolve to put it into my campaign. Shell be high standing oficial of Cyrix order. Uterly mad and only slightly evil. And it'll be bad. Evil even. And ill blame you and Lizard for it :P.
57042968 wrote:
111809331 wrote:
I'm trying to work out if you're being sarcastic here. ...
Am going to stop you right there... it's RPJesus... he's always sarcastic
58335208 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
112114441 wrote:
we can only hope it gets the jace treatment...it could have at least been legendary
So that even the decks that don't run it run it to deal with it? Isn't that like the definition of format warping?
I lol'd.
56287226 wrote:
98088088 wrote:
Uktabi Orangutan What the heck's going on with those monkeys?
The most common answer is that they are what RPJesus would call "[Debutantes avert your eyes]ing."
56965458 wrote:
Show
57461258 wrote:
116498949 wrote:
I’ve removed content from this thread because off-topic discussions are a violation of the Code of Conduct. You can review the Code here: www.wizards.com/Company/About.aspx?x=wz_... Please keep your posts polite, on-topic, and refrain from making personal attacks. You are welcome to disagree with one another but please do so respectfully and constructively. If you wish to report a post for Code of Conduct violation, click on the “Report Post” button above the post and this will submit your report to the moderators on duty.
...Am I the only one that thinks this is reaching the point of downright Kafkaesque insanity?
I condone the use of the word Kafkaesque. However, I'm presentely ambivalent. I mean, that can't be serious, right? We're April 1st, right? They didn't mod RPJesus for off-topic discussion when the WHOLE THREAD IS OFF-TOPIC, right? Right.
57545908 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
Save or die. If you disagree with this, you're wrong (Not because of any points or arguements that have been made, but I just rolled a d20 for you and got a 1, so you lose).
58397368 wrote:
58222628 wrote:
This just won the argument, AFAIC.
That's just awesome.
57471038 wrote:
57718868 wrote:
HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THE BEAR PRODUCING WORDS OF WILDING?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!
That's what RPJesus tends to do. That's why I don't think he's a real person, but some Magic Card Archive Server sort of machine, that is programmed to react to other posters' comments with obscure cards that do in fact exist, but somehow missed by even the most experienced Magic players. And then come up with strange combos with said cards. All of that is impossible for a normal human to do given the amount of time he does it and how often he does it. He/It got me with Light of Sanction, which prompted me to go to RQ&A to try and find if it was even possible to do combat damage to a creature I control (in light that Mark of Asylum exists).
71235715 wrote:
+10
100176878 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
57078538 wrote:
heaven or hell.
Round 1. Lets rock.
GG quotes! RPJesus just made this thread win!
56906968 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
143359585 wrote:
Blue players get all the overpowerered cards like JTMS. I think it's time that wizards gave something to people who remember what magic is really about: creatures.
Initially yes, Wizards was married to blue. However, about a decade ago they had a nasty divorce, and a few years after that they began courting the attention of Green. Then in Worldwake they had a nasty affair with their ex, but as of Innistrad, things seem to have gotten back on track, and Wizards has even proposed.
You are my favorite. Yes you. And moments like this make it so. Thank you RPJesus for just being you.
On what flavor text fits me:
57307308 wrote:
Surely RPJesus gets Niv-Mizzet, Dracogenius?
56874518 wrote:
First: I STILL can't take you seriously with that avatar. And I can take RPJesus seriously, so that's saying something.
121689989 wrote:
I'd offer you a cookie for making me laugh but it has an Upkeep Cost that has been known to cause people to quit eating.
56267956 wrote:
I <3 you loads
57400888 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
"AINT NO LAWS IN THE SKY MOTHER****." - Agrus Kos, Wojek Veteran
10/10. Amazing.

Torches and pitchforks? How European of you. Here in 'MURRKA, we use GRNS :P. 


I'm American.  Must be a southern thing.  You're not from Texas by chance are you?  :P
REMEMBER FLUFFY, mercilessly slain by the bastard Useless Mancer
Fluffy, the cute and cuddly baloth beatstick of marshmellowy fluffyness and lolz, om-nom-noming Keeper's wicked soul; its insane, deadly amount of cuteness rips the fabric of reality to shreds, its pink, soft, round teeth dripping with honey, every breath spreading the repugnant smell of fresh flowers, this horrifying creature of destruction devastates Keeper by spreading its deadly, all-powerful fluff over the countryside, laying waste to dragon and furry bunny alike. It comes howling out of the east, an endless rattling and gnashing of teeth, a twisted grinding pull on the very fabric of reality threatening to consume body and mind alike in an endless glimmering pink torrent. Nothing is more terrible than the sun glittering on its teeth, save perhaps the light glancing off the oily tones of the sequins that cover its hotpants. Of course, there was that child who tried to eat Fluffy, mistaking him for a giant, walking piece of cotton candy. That child... is now the almighty leader of Fluffy, controlling his every move, sending him to devour the people that cross his path. And Keeper. Because we said so. Nothing can stop Fluffy's march to victory, spreading the sweet smell of strawberries where ever it lays its mighty paw. Followed by many jolly fairies singing joyful songs about Fluffy's cuddlyness, the baloth wanders the mountains of Zendikarland on a quest to share the love with Keeper, tough love that is...
Fluffy, we'll miss you friend. We'll miss you...
Siggy Siggables
56544366 wrote:
My other name consideration was "Thermodynamics of Doom!"
58271798 wrote:
Master Yumyums! Master Yumyums! I made it even more unfun! Spirited Betrayal Sorcery All lands are copies of Night of Souls' Betrayal. The legend rule doesn't apply to them. *Headsplosion*
56267956 wrote:
76064519 wrote:
If they make Mono-blue control a viable option for FNM again, I'm going to force myself to browse 4chan while listening to Hannah Montana and Justin Bieber and then I'm going to read Twilight books before I go to sleep for 1 whole week...
I already do that.
56544366 wrote:
57718868 wrote:
I NEED GRADES TO MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL.
Use of caps lock: 9/10
58438088 wrote:
We were goddamn slowly making our way towards those **** mountains. The road was all filthy and wet, bird **** on every step and eldrazi piss raining from the sky. "So those ****tards are finally awake huh?" my idiotic companion asked. "Yep, we're in deep ****, homie." "Wazzup?" "Nothing, just pissed." My companion looked to the sky. A drop of the eldrazi urine fell right in his eye. "Oh, man. Now I'm pissed too." As we were moving on, we were looking around on the innocent nature. Two baloths were doing it on the road so we had to make a little detour. The pools of piss were kinda unpleasant but at least it was warm so we had no trouble at night. "One gets used to piss running down your face you know." said my companion. "F'shizzle." answered I stoicly and kicked two rabbits, who were doing nasty things to each other's ass, in the ass. "Man one can't take a spit here without hitting some shamming animals." "Word. Zendikar sucks. Hope the eldrazi contribute a little to the population regulation." As my companion said that, a gigantic, 20 meters tall eldrazi slithered by. On it's arms and tentacles were remains of birds, rabbits, baloths, angels, planeswalkers, dragons, krakens and a few cities. We stood up and clapped loudly. "A few bitches less." (People don't get banned for such posts do they?)
58021268 wrote:
Am I the only one? Looking over the recent threads debating the merits of "Belgium," the various ideas to "fix" England and other topics which concern European nations, I'm struck by how much I don't care what happens. Britain and Spain are, to me, completely inaccessible due to the Atlantic Ocean, not to mention volcanoes and socialism. I sound like I'm bashing European nations, and I guess I kind of am. If you enjoy living in France, Luxembourg, Poland or any other, older nation, that's fantastic. I just don't see why there's such a huge uproar about a volcano that is mostly affecting a niche group of people.
57008088 wrote:
57036138 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
57052258 wrote:
Hell, I don't even like that they printed Pillarfield Ox
I'm real happy for you, and I'mma let you finish, but pillarfield ox has one of the best pieces of art of all time. Of all time.
Really? I don't really see the greatness.
It's an Ox. In a PILLARFIELD. That's like, a field of frickin' PILLARS, but to this Ox it just looks like an ordinary field of grass - because he is so BADASS.
56916508 wrote:
Finally, Master Yumyums just had probably the most boring, worthless card in the entire contest. Why would you need to give creatures -1/-0 on your turn? To beat them down with your nonflying blue aggro deck that plays a bad win condition card to win (and if you are playing the critters, why aren't you winning with them?!)? And the win condition itself is so mindblowingly difficult it seems like it was only made simply to fit the criteria.
Derivative Radial Tangent Calculation of Pure, Absolute, Utmost, Uncontestable and Utter Doom Newton's Second Law of Equations As an additional calculation to add to ~, reveal a Mathematical Equation from your hand, with a converted mana casting cost equal to a Prime Number. (Prime numbers are 2, 3, 5, 7, 11 13, 17...) ~ costs ƒ(x) = Σπ(δƒ(u)-ƒ(x)) if you're a fan of René Descartes in Facebook. ~ deals X damage to each creature your opponents control within a radius of X KM from ~, where X is the revealed Equation's converted mana cost. ~ deals Y damages to target player, where Y is the area of the Sphere (using the first 50 digits of pi as pi). ~ deals Z less damage, where Z is the distance in Lightyears from the centerpoint of the Sphere. Add up X, Y and Z and round it up to the closest number. Multiply the damage ~ would deal by m, where m is the number of multiples of that number. Calculate the first 50 Fibonaci numbers: Deal the difference between the 25-50th numbers, and the first 25 numbers. As long as the angular acceleration of an object t approaches maximum velocity relative to the cross product of a vector n and its bisector as the object passes through point Q at vector n's convergence in zero gravity, Disastrous Radial Tangent Calculation can't be countered. As long as you can do a geometric proof of anything on this card, target opponent must be doing one. Otherwise, he or she loses the game. (both games. you just lost the game.)
I translated GRNs as "gurneys". "WE MURRIKANS USE GURNAYS!" I'm silly.

Torches and pitchforks? How European of you. Here in 'MURRKA, we use GRNS :P. 


I'm American.  Must be a southern thing.  You're not from Texas by chance are you?  :P


Nope, Minnesota... Donchaknow >_> :33. So, same time zone I guess, but other side of the country.

Zammm = Batman.

It's my sig in a box
58280208 wrote:
Everything is better when you read it in Bane's voice.
192334281 wrote:
Your human antics and desire to continue living have moved me. Just kidding. You cannot move me physically or emotionally. Wall humor.
57092228 wrote:
Copy effects work like a photocopy machine: you get a copy of the 'naked' card, NOT of what's on it.
56995928 wrote:
Funny story: InQuest Magazine (I think it was InQuest) had an oversized Chaos Orb which I totally rooked someone into allowing into a (non-sanctioned) game. I had a proxy card that was a Mountain with "Chaos Orb" written on it. When I played it, my opponent cried foul: Him: "WTF? a Proxy? no-one said anything about Proxies. Do you even own an actual Chaos Orb?" Me: "Yes, but I thought it would be better to use a Proxy." Him: "No way. If you're going to put a Chaos Orb in your deck you have to use your actual Chaos Orb." Me: "*Sigh*. Okay." I pulled out this huge Chaos Orb and placed it on the table. He tried to cry foul again but everyone else said he insisted I use my actual Chaos Orb and that was my actual Chaos Orb. I used it, flipped it and wiped most of his board. Unsurprisingly, that only worked once and only because everyone present thought it was hilarious.
My DM on Battleminds:
no, see i can kill defenders, but 8 consecutive crits on a battlemind, eh walk it off.
144543765 wrote:
195392035 wrote:
Hi guys! So, I'm a sort of returning player to Magic. I say sort of because as a child I had two main TCG's I liked. Yu-Gi-Oh, and Pokemon. Some of my friends branched off in to Magic, and I bought two pre-made decks just to kind of fit in. Like I said, Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon were what I really knew how to play. I have a extensive knowledge of deck building in those two TCG's. However, as far as Magic is concerned, I only ever used those two pre made decks. I know how the game is played, and I know general things, but now I want to get in the game for real. I want to begin playing it as a regular. My question is, are all cards ever released from the time of the inception of this game until present day fair game in a deck? Or are there special rules? Are some cards forbidden or restricted? Thanks guys, and I will gladly accept ANY help lol.
I have the same problem with women.
117639611 wrote:
198869283 wrote:
Oh I have a standing rule. If someone plays a Planeswalker I concede the game. I refuse to play with or against people who play Planeswalkers. They really did ruin the game.
A turn two Tibalt win?! Wicked... Betcha don't see that everyday.

The Pony Co. 

Is this my new ego sig? Yes it is, other Barry
57461258 wrote:
And that's why you should never, ever call RP Jesus on being a troll, because then everyone else playing along gets outed, too, and the thread goes back to being boring.
57461258 wrote:
See, this is why RPJesus should be in charge of the storyline. The novel line would never have been cancelled if he had been running the show. Specifically the Slobad and Geth's Head talkshow he just described.
57461258 wrote:
Not only was that an obligatory joke, it was an on-topic post that still managed to be off-topic due to thread derailment. RP Jesus does it again folks.
92481331 wrote:
I think I'm gonna' start praying to Jesus... That's right, RPJesus, I'm gonna' be praying to you, right now. O' Jesus Please continue to make my time here on the forums fun and cause me to chuckle. Amen.
92481331 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
It was wonderful. Us Johnnies had a field day. That Timmy with the Grizzly bears would actually have to think about swinging into your Mogg Fanatic, giving you time to set up your silly combo. Nowadays it's all DERPSWING! with thier blue jeans and their MP3 players and their EM EM OH AR PEE JEES and their "Dewmocracy" and their children's card games and their Jersey Shores and their Tattooed Tenaged Vampire Hunters from Beverly Hills
Seriously, that was amazing. I laughed my *ss off. Made my day, and I just woke up.
[quote=ArtVenn You're still one of my favorite people... just sayin'.[/quote]
56756068 wrote:
56786788 wrote:
.....would it be a bit blasphemous if I said, "PRAYSE RPJAYSUS!" like an Evangelical preacher?
Perhaps, but who doesn't like to blaspheme every now and again? Especially when Mr. RPJesus is completely right.
56756068 wrote:
I don't say this often, but ... LOL
57526128 wrote:
You... You... Evil something... I actualy made the damn char once I saw the poster... Now you made me see it again and I gained resolve to put it into my campaign. Shell be high standing oficial of Cyrix order. Uterly mad and only slightly evil. And it'll be bad. Evil even. And ill blame you and Lizard for it :P.
57042968 wrote:
111809331 wrote:
I'm trying to work out if you're being sarcastic here. ...
Am going to stop you right there... it's RPJesus... he's always sarcastic
58335208 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
112114441 wrote:
we can only hope it gets the jace treatment...it could have at least been legendary
So that even the decks that don't run it run it to deal with it? Isn't that like the definition of format warping?
I lol'd.
56287226 wrote:
98088088 wrote:
Uktabi Orangutan What the heck's going on with those monkeys?
The most common answer is that they are what RPJesus would call "[Debutantes avert your eyes]ing."
56965458 wrote:
Show
57461258 wrote:
116498949 wrote:
I’ve removed content from this thread because off-topic discussions are a violation of the Code of Conduct. You can review the Code here: www.wizards.com/Company/About.aspx?x=wz_... Please keep your posts polite, on-topic, and refrain from making personal attacks. You are welcome to disagree with one another but please do so respectfully and constructively. If you wish to report a post for Code of Conduct violation, click on the “Report Post” button above the post and this will submit your report to the moderators on duty.
...Am I the only one that thinks this is reaching the point of downright Kafkaesque insanity?
I condone the use of the word Kafkaesque. However, I'm presentely ambivalent. I mean, that can't be serious, right? We're April 1st, right? They didn't mod RPJesus for off-topic discussion when the WHOLE THREAD IS OFF-TOPIC, right? Right.
57545908 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
Save or die. If you disagree with this, you're wrong (Not because of any points or arguements that have been made, but I just rolled a d20 for you and got a 1, so you lose).
58397368 wrote:
58222628 wrote:
This just won the argument, AFAIC.
That's just awesome.
57471038 wrote:
57718868 wrote:
HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THE BEAR PRODUCING WORDS OF WILDING?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!
That's what RPJesus tends to do. That's why I don't think he's a real person, but some Magic Card Archive Server sort of machine, that is programmed to react to other posters' comments with obscure cards that do in fact exist, but somehow missed by even the most experienced Magic players. And then come up with strange combos with said cards. All of that is impossible for a normal human to do given the amount of time he does it and how often he does it. He/It got me with Light of Sanction, which prompted me to go to RQ&A to try and find if it was even possible to do combat damage to a creature I control (in light that Mark of Asylum exists).
71235715 wrote:
+10
100176878 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
57078538 wrote:
heaven or hell.
Round 1. Lets rock.
GG quotes! RPJesus just made this thread win!
56906968 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
143359585 wrote:
Blue players get all the overpowerered cards like JTMS. I think it's time that wizards gave something to people who remember what magic is really about: creatures.
Initially yes, Wizards was married to blue. However, about a decade ago they had a nasty divorce, and a few years after that they began courting the attention of Green. Then in Worldwake they had a nasty affair with their ex, but as of Innistrad, things seem to have gotten back on track, and Wizards has even proposed.
You are my favorite. Yes you. And moments like this make it so. Thank you RPJesus for just being you.
On what flavor text fits me:
57307308 wrote:
Surely RPJesus gets Niv-Mizzet, Dracogenius?
56874518 wrote:
First: I STILL can't take you seriously with that avatar. And I can take RPJesus seriously, so that's saying something.
121689989 wrote:
I'd offer you a cookie for making me laugh but it has an Upkeep Cost that has been known to cause people to quit eating.
56267956 wrote:
I <3 you loads
57400888 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
"AINT NO LAWS IN THE SKY MOTHER****." - Agrus Kos, Wojek Veteran
10/10. Amazing.
Fair enough, although they both still have the "lolstupidgoblins" flavor text though.



The best example of lolstupidgoblins was Goblin Warrens.

Even when people are liberal with goblins, we get Boros Recruit.
139359831 wrote:
Clever deduction Watson! Maybe you can explain why Supergirl is trying to kill me.
---- Autocard is your friend. Lightning Bolt = Lightning Bolt
I've removed content from this thread. Discussion of topics such as real world religions or politics is not welcome.

You can review the Code of Conduct here: company.wizards.com/conduct 

Please remember to keep your posts polite and on-topic. 
I've removed content from this thread. Discussion of topics such as real world religions or politics is not welcome.

You can review the Code of Conduct here: company.wizards.com/conduct 

Please remember to keep your posts polite and on-topic. 


I told you man.  A bit later than I expected but still decent time.
REMEMBER FLUFFY, mercilessly slain by the bastard Useless Mancer
Fluffy, the cute and cuddly baloth beatstick of marshmellowy fluffyness and lolz, om-nom-noming Keeper's wicked soul; its insane, deadly amount of cuteness rips the fabric of reality to shreds, its pink, soft, round teeth dripping with honey, every breath spreading the repugnant smell of fresh flowers, this horrifying creature of destruction devastates Keeper by spreading its deadly, all-powerful fluff over the countryside, laying waste to dragon and furry bunny alike. It comes howling out of the east, an endless rattling and gnashing of teeth, a twisted grinding pull on the very fabric of reality threatening to consume body and mind alike in an endless glimmering pink torrent. Nothing is more terrible than the sun glittering on its teeth, save perhaps the light glancing off the oily tones of the sequins that cover its hotpants. Of course, there was that child who tried to eat Fluffy, mistaking him for a giant, walking piece of cotton candy. That child... is now the almighty leader of Fluffy, controlling his every move, sending him to devour the people that cross his path. And Keeper. Because we said so. Nothing can stop Fluffy's march to victory, spreading the sweet smell of strawberries where ever it lays its mighty paw. Followed by many jolly fairies singing joyful songs about Fluffy's cuddlyness, the baloth wanders the mountains of Zendikarland on a quest to share the love with Keeper, tough love that is...
Fluffy, we'll miss you friend. We'll miss you...
Siggy Siggables
56544366 wrote:
My other name consideration was "Thermodynamics of Doom!"
58271798 wrote:
Master Yumyums! Master Yumyums! I made it even more unfun! Spirited Betrayal Sorcery All lands are copies of Night of Souls' Betrayal. The legend rule doesn't apply to them. *Headsplosion*
56267956 wrote:
76064519 wrote:
If they make Mono-blue control a viable option for FNM again, I'm going to force myself to browse 4chan while listening to Hannah Montana and Justin Bieber and then I'm going to read Twilight books before I go to sleep for 1 whole week...
I already do that.
56544366 wrote:
57718868 wrote:
I NEED GRADES TO MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL.
Use of caps lock: 9/10
58438088 wrote:
We were goddamn slowly making our way towards those **** mountains. The road was all filthy and wet, bird **** on every step and eldrazi piss raining from the sky. "So those ****tards are finally awake huh?" my idiotic companion asked. "Yep, we're in deep ****, homie." "Wazzup?" "Nothing, just pissed." My companion looked to the sky. A drop of the eldrazi urine fell right in his eye. "Oh, man. Now I'm pissed too." As we were moving on, we were looking around on the innocent nature. Two baloths were doing it on the road so we had to make a little detour. The pools of piss were kinda unpleasant but at least it was warm so we had no trouble at night. "One gets used to piss running down your face you know." said my companion. "F'shizzle." answered I stoicly and kicked two rabbits, who were doing nasty things to each other's ass, in the ass. "Man one can't take a spit here without hitting some shamming animals." "Word. Zendikar sucks. Hope the eldrazi contribute a little to the population regulation." As my companion said that, a gigantic, 20 meters tall eldrazi slithered by. On it's arms and tentacles were remains of birds, rabbits, baloths, angels, planeswalkers, dragons, krakens and a few cities. We stood up and clapped loudly. "A few bitches less." (People don't get banned for such posts do they?)
58021268 wrote:
Am I the only one? Looking over the recent threads debating the merits of "Belgium," the various ideas to "fix" England and other topics which concern European nations, I'm struck by how much I don't care what happens. Britain and Spain are, to me, completely inaccessible due to the Atlantic Ocean, not to mention volcanoes and socialism. I sound like I'm bashing European nations, and I guess I kind of am. If you enjoy living in France, Luxembourg, Poland or any other, older nation, that's fantastic. I just don't see why there's such a huge uproar about a volcano that is mostly affecting a niche group of people.
57008088 wrote:
57036138 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
57052258 wrote:
Hell, I don't even like that they printed Pillarfield Ox
I'm real happy for you, and I'mma let you finish, but pillarfield ox has one of the best pieces of art of all time. Of all time.
Really? I don't really see the greatness.
It's an Ox. In a PILLARFIELD. That's like, a field of frickin' PILLARS, but to this Ox it just looks like an ordinary field of grass - because he is so BADASS.
56916508 wrote:
Finally, Master Yumyums just had probably the most boring, worthless card in the entire contest. Why would you need to give creatures -1/-0 on your turn? To beat them down with your nonflying blue aggro deck that plays a bad win condition card to win (and if you are playing the critters, why aren't you winning with them?!)? And the win condition itself is so mindblowingly difficult it seems like it was only made simply to fit the criteria.
Derivative Radial Tangent Calculation of Pure, Absolute, Utmost, Uncontestable and Utter Doom Newton's Second Law of Equations As an additional calculation to add to ~, reveal a Mathematical Equation from your hand, with a converted mana casting cost equal to a Prime Number. (Prime numbers are 2, 3, 5, 7, 11 13, 17...) ~ costs ƒ(x) = Σπ(δƒ(u)-ƒ(x)) if you're a fan of René Descartes in Facebook. ~ deals X damage to each creature your opponents control within a radius of X KM from ~, where X is the revealed Equation's converted mana cost. ~ deals Y damages to target player, where Y is the area of the Sphere (using the first 50 digits of pi as pi). ~ deals Z less damage, where Z is the distance in Lightyears from the centerpoint of the Sphere. Add up X, Y and Z and round it up to the closest number. Multiply the damage ~ would deal by m, where m is the number of multiples of that number. Calculate the first 50 Fibonaci numbers: Deal the difference between the 25-50th numbers, and the first 25 numbers. As long as the angular acceleration of an object t approaches maximum velocity relative to the cross product of a vector n and its bisector as the object passes through point Q at vector n's convergence in zero gravity, Disastrous Radial Tangent Calculation can't be countered. As long as you can do a geometric proof of anything on this card, target opponent must be doing one. Otherwise, he or she loses the game. (both games. you just lost the game.)
Ah ha ha, I got what I wanted from this thread.

@Jesus
Where in Minnesota are you from? 

I told you man.  A bit later than I expected but still decent time.


Indeed, nice call. Shame nobody went on a "fetch the popcorn" level tirade though, but c'est la vie I guess :/.

@Jesus
Where in Minnesota are you from? 


Eagan, it's a bit south of the Twin Cities (If you're planning to track me down and murder me, please give me advance notice so we can work out a time period that works for both of us. Don't need somebody waking me up with that at 4 am the night before I have an interview or something :P).

Zammm = Batman.

It's my sig in a box
58280208 wrote:
Everything is better when you read it in Bane's voice.
192334281 wrote:
Your human antics and desire to continue living have moved me. Just kidding. You cannot move me physically or emotionally. Wall humor.
57092228 wrote:
Copy effects work like a photocopy machine: you get a copy of the 'naked' card, NOT of what's on it.
56995928 wrote:
Funny story: InQuest Magazine (I think it was InQuest) had an oversized Chaos Orb which I totally rooked someone into allowing into a (non-sanctioned) game. I had a proxy card that was a Mountain with "Chaos Orb" written on it. When I played it, my opponent cried foul: Him: "WTF? a Proxy? no-one said anything about Proxies. Do you even own an actual Chaos Orb?" Me: "Yes, but I thought it would be better to use a Proxy." Him: "No way. If you're going to put a Chaos Orb in your deck you have to use your actual Chaos Orb." Me: "*Sigh*. Okay." I pulled out this huge Chaos Orb and placed it on the table. He tried to cry foul again but everyone else said he insisted I use my actual Chaos Orb and that was my actual Chaos Orb. I used it, flipped it and wiped most of his board. Unsurprisingly, that only worked once and only because everyone present thought it was hilarious.
My DM on Battleminds:
no, see i can kill defenders, but 8 consecutive crits on a battlemind, eh walk it off.
144543765 wrote:
195392035 wrote:
Hi guys! So, I'm a sort of returning player to Magic. I say sort of because as a child I had two main TCG's I liked. Yu-Gi-Oh, and Pokemon. Some of my friends branched off in to Magic, and I bought two pre-made decks just to kind of fit in. Like I said, Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon were what I really knew how to play. I have a extensive knowledge of deck building in those two TCG's. However, as far as Magic is concerned, I only ever used those two pre made decks. I know how the game is played, and I know general things, but now I want to get in the game for real. I want to begin playing it as a regular. My question is, are all cards ever released from the time of the inception of this game until present day fair game in a deck? Or are there special rules? Are some cards forbidden or restricted? Thanks guys, and I will gladly accept ANY help lol.
I have the same problem with women.
117639611 wrote:
198869283 wrote:
Oh I have a standing rule. If someone plays a Planeswalker I concede the game. I refuse to play with or against people who play Planeswalkers. They really did ruin the game.
A turn two Tibalt win?! Wicked... Betcha don't see that everyday.

The Pony Co. 

Is this my new ego sig? Yes it is, other Barry
57461258 wrote:
And that's why you should never, ever call RP Jesus on being a troll, because then everyone else playing along gets outed, too, and the thread goes back to being boring.
57461258 wrote:
See, this is why RPJesus should be in charge of the storyline. The novel line would never have been cancelled if he had been running the show. Specifically the Slobad and Geth's Head talkshow he just described.
57461258 wrote:
Not only was that an obligatory joke, it was an on-topic post that still managed to be off-topic due to thread derailment. RP Jesus does it again folks.
92481331 wrote:
I think I'm gonna' start praying to Jesus... That's right, RPJesus, I'm gonna' be praying to you, right now. O' Jesus Please continue to make my time here on the forums fun and cause me to chuckle. Amen.
92481331 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
It was wonderful. Us Johnnies had a field day. That Timmy with the Grizzly bears would actually have to think about swinging into your Mogg Fanatic, giving you time to set up your silly combo. Nowadays it's all DERPSWING! with thier blue jeans and their MP3 players and their EM EM OH AR PEE JEES and their "Dewmocracy" and their children's card games and their Jersey Shores and their Tattooed Tenaged Vampire Hunters from Beverly Hills
Seriously, that was amazing. I laughed my *ss off. Made my day, and I just woke up.
[quote=ArtVenn You're still one of my favorite people... just sayin'.[/quote]
56756068 wrote:
56786788 wrote:
.....would it be a bit blasphemous if I said, "PRAYSE RPJAYSUS!" like an Evangelical preacher?
Perhaps, but who doesn't like to blaspheme every now and again? Especially when Mr. RPJesus is completely right.
56756068 wrote:
I don't say this often, but ... LOL
57526128 wrote:
You... You... Evil something... I actualy made the damn char once I saw the poster... Now you made me see it again and I gained resolve to put it into my campaign. Shell be high standing oficial of Cyrix order. Uterly mad and only slightly evil. And it'll be bad. Evil even. And ill blame you and Lizard for it :P.
57042968 wrote:
111809331 wrote:
I'm trying to work out if you're being sarcastic here. ...
Am going to stop you right there... it's RPJesus... he's always sarcastic
58335208 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
112114441 wrote:
we can only hope it gets the jace treatment...it could have at least been legendary
So that even the decks that don't run it run it to deal with it? Isn't that like the definition of format warping?
I lol'd.
56287226 wrote:
98088088 wrote:
Uktabi Orangutan What the heck's going on with those monkeys?
The most common answer is that they are what RPJesus would call "[Debutantes avert your eyes]ing."
56965458 wrote:
Show
57461258 wrote:
116498949 wrote:
I’ve removed content from this thread because off-topic discussions are a violation of the Code of Conduct. You can review the Code here: www.wizards.com/Company/About.aspx?x=wz_... Please keep your posts polite, on-topic, and refrain from making personal attacks. You are welcome to disagree with one another but please do so respectfully and constructively. If you wish to report a post for Code of Conduct violation, click on the “Report Post” button above the post and this will submit your report to the moderators on duty.
...Am I the only one that thinks this is reaching the point of downright Kafkaesque insanity?
I condone the use of the word Kafkaesque. However, I'm presentely ambivalent. I mean, that can't be serious, right? We're April 1st, right? They didn't mod RPJesus for off-topic discussion when the WHOLE THREAD IS OFF-TOPIC, right? Right.
57545908 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
Save or die. If you disagree with this, you're wrong (Not because of any points or arguements that have been made, but I just rolled a d20 for you and got a 1, so you lose).
58397368 wrote:
58222628 wrote:
This just won the argument, AFAIC.
That's just awesome.
57471038 wrote:
57718868 wrote:
HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THE BEAR PRODUCING WORDS OF WILDING?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!
That's what RPJesus tends to do. That's why I don't think he's a real person, but some Magic Card Archive Server sort of machine, that is programmed to react to other posters' comments with obscure cards that do in fact exist, but somehow missed by even the most experienced Magic players. And then come up with strange combos with said cards. All of that is impossible for a normal human to do given the amount of time he does it and how often he does it. He/It got me with Light of Sanction, which prompted me to go to RQ&A to try and find if it was even possible to do combat damage to a creature I control (in light that Mark of Asylum exists).
71235715 wrote:
+10
100176878 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
57078538 wrote:
heaven or hell.
Round 1. Lets rock.
GG quotes! RPJesus just made this thread win!
56906968 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
143359585 wrote:
Blue players get all the overpowerered cards like JTMS. I think it's time that wizards gave something to people who remember what magic is really about: creatures.
Initially yes, Wizards was married to blue. However, about a decade ago they had a nasty divorce, and a few years after that they began courting the attention of Green. Then in Worldwake they had a nasty affair with their ex, but as of Innistrad, things seem to have gotten back on track, and Wizards has even proposed.
You are my favorite. Yes you. And moments like this make it so. Thank you RPJesus for just being you.
On what flavor text fits me:
57307308 wrote:
Surely RPJesus gets Niv-Mizzet, Dracogenius?
56874518 wrote:
First: I STILL can't take you seriously with that avatar. And I can take RPJesus seriously, so that's saying something.
121689989 wrote:
I'd offer you a cookie for making me laugh but it has an Upkeep Cost that has been known to cause people to quit eating.
56267956 wrote:
I <3 you loads
57400888 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
"AINT NO LAWS IN THE SKY MOTHER****." - Agrus Kos, Wojek Veteran
10/10. Amazing.
You live astonishingly close to my cousins.
REMEMBER FLUFFY, mercilessly slain by the bastard Useless Mancer
Fluffy, the cute and cuddly baloth beatstick of marshmellowy fluffyness and lolz, om-nom-noming Keeper's wicked soul; its insane, deadly amount of cuteness rips the fabric of reality to shreds, its pink, soft, round teeth dripping with honey, every breath spreading the repugnant smell of fresh flowers, this horrifying creature of destruction devastates Keeper by spreading its deadly, all-powerful fluff over the countryside, laying waste to dragon and furry bunny alike. It comes howling out of the east, an endless rattling and gnashing of teeth, a twisted grinding pull on the very fabric of reality threatening to consume body and mind alike in an endless glimmering pink torrent. Nothing is more terrible than the sun glittering on its teeth, save perhaps the light glancing off the oily tones of the sequins that cover its hotpants. Of course, there was that child who tried to eat Fluffy, mistaking him for a giant, walking piece of cotton candy. That child... is now the almighty leader of Fluffy, controlling his every move, sending him to devour the people that cross his path. And Keeper. Because we said so. Nothing can stop Fluffy's march to victory, spreading the sweet smell of strawberries where ever it lays its mighty paw. Followed by many jolly fairies singing joyful songs about Fluffy's cuddlyness, the baloth wanders the mountains of Zendikarland on a quest to share the love with Keeper, tough love that is...
Fluffy, we'll miss you friend. We'll miss you...
Siggy Siggables
56544366 wrote:
My other name consideration was "Thermodynamics of Doom!"
58271798 wrote:
Master Yumyums! Master Yumyums! I made it even more unfun! Spirited Betrayal Sorcery All lands are copies of Night of Souls' Betrayal. The legend rule doesn't apply to them. *Headsplosion*
56267956 wrote:
76064519 wrote:
If they make Mono-blue control a viable option for FNM again, I'm going to force myself to browse 4chan while listening to Hannah Montana and Justin Bieber and then I'm going to read Twilight books before I go to sleep for 1 whole week...
I already do that.
56544366 wrote:
57718868 wrote:
I NEED GRADES TO MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL.
Use of caps lock: 9/10
58438088 wrote:
We were goddamn slowly making our way towards those **** mountains. The road was all filthy and wet, bird **** on every step and eldrazi piss raining from the sky. "So those ****tards are finally awake huh?" my idiotic companion asked. "Yep, we're in deep ****, homie." "Wazzup?" "Nothing, just pissed." My companion looked to the sky. A drop of the eldrazi urine fell right in his eye. "Oh, man. Now I'm pissed too." As we were moving on, we were looking around on the innocent nature. Two baloths were doing it on the road so we had to make a little detour. The pools of piss were kinda unpleasant but at least it was warm so we had no trouble at night. "One gets used to piss running down your face you know." said my companion. "F'shizzle." answered I stoicly and kicked two rabbits, who were doing nasty things to each other's ass, in the ass. "Man one can't take a spit here without hitting some shamming animals." "Word. Zendikar sucks. Hope the eldrazi contribute a little to the population regulation." As my companion said that, a gigantic, 20 meters tall eldrazi slithered by. On it's arms and tentacles were remains of birds, rabbits, baloths, angels, planeswalkers, dragons, krakens and a few cities. We stood up and clapped loudly. "A few bitches less." (People don't get banned for such posts do they?)
58021268 wrote:
Am I the only one? Looking over the recent threads debating the merits of "Belgium," the various ideas to "fix" England and other topics which concern European nations, I'm struck by how much I don't care what happens. Britain and Spain are, to me, completely inaccessible due to the Atlantic Ocean, not to mention volcanoes and socialism. I sound like I'm bashing European nations, and I guess I kind of am. If you enjoy living in France, Luxembourg, Poland or any other, older nation, that's fantastic. I just don't see why there's such a huge uproar about a volcano that is mostly affecting a niche group of people.
57008088 wrote:
57036138 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
57052258 wrote:
Hell, I don't even like that they printed Pillarfield Ox
I'm real happy for you, and I'mma let you finish, but pillarfield ox has one of the best pieces of art of all time. Of all time.
Really? I don't really see the greatness.
It's an Ox. In a PILLARFIELD. That's like, a field of frickin' PILLARS, but to this Ox it just looks like an ordinary field of grass - because he is so BADASS.
56916508 wrote:
Finally, Master Yumyums just had probably the most boring, worthless card in the entire contest. Why would you need to give creatures -1/-0 on your turn? To beat them down with your nonflying blue aggro deck that plays a bad win condition card to win (and if you are playing the critters, why aren't you winning with them?!)? And the win condition itself is so mindblowingly difficult it seems like it was only made simply to fit the criteria.
Derivative Radial Tangent Calculation of Pure, Absolute, Utmost, Uncontestable and Utter Doom Newton's Second Law of Equations As an additional calculation to add to ~, reveal a Mathematical Equation from your hand, with a converted mana casting cost equal to a Prime Number. (Prime numbers are 2, 3, 5, 7, 11 13, 17...) ~ costs ƒ(x) = Σπ(δƒ(u)-ƒ(x)) if you're a fan of René Descartes in Facebook. ~ deals X damage to each creature your opponents control within a radius of X KM from ~, where X is the revealed Equation's converted mana cost. ~ deals Y damages to target player, where Y is the area of the Sphere (using the first 50 digits of pi as pi). ~ deals Z less damage, where Z is the distance in Lightyears from the centerpoint of the Sphere. Add up X, Y and Z and round it up to the closest number. Multiply the damage ~ would deal by m, where m is the number of multiples of that number. Calculate the first 50 Fibonaci numbers: Deal the difference between the 25-50th numbers, and the first 25 numbers. As long as the angular acceleration of an object t approaches maximum velocity relative to the cross product of a vector n and its bisector as the object passes through point Q at vector n's convergence in zero gravity, Disastrous Radial Tangent Calculation can't be countered. As long as you can do a geometric proof of anything on this card, target opponent must be doing one. Otherwise, he or she loses the game. (both games. you just lost the game.)
Yay Minnesota!  (I grew up near Duluth)

"Go, then. There are other worlds than these." -- Stephen King, The Gunslinger

Please feel free to copy this message into your sig.

I was just curious because I live in the Twin Cities.
I was just curious because I live in the Twin Cities.


Oh snap, we should meet up and stand around in awkward silence and/or play Magic. Will you be at any of the prerelease stuff? Think I'm gonna be doing the 2HG (Or one of them, I should really see what's going on at the place where the stuff is :/), but I have to get in contact with my friend and see what's up.

Zammm = Batman.

It's my sig in a box
58280208 wrote:
Everything is better when you read it in Bane's voice.
192334281 wrote:
Your human antics and desire to continue living have moved me. Just kidding. You cannot move me physically or emotionally. Wall humor.
57092228 wrote:
Copy effects work like a photocopy machine: you get a copy of the 'naked' card, NOT of what's on it.
56995928 wrote:
Funny story: InQuest Magazine (I think it was InQuest) had an oversized Chaos Orb which I totally rooked someone into allowing into a (non-sanctioned) game. I had a proxy card that was a Mountain with "Chaos Orb" written on it. When I played it, my opponent cried foul: Him: "WTF? a Proxy? no-one said anything about Proxies. Do you even own an actual Chaos Orb?" Me: "Yes, but I thought it would be better to use a Proxy." Him: "No way. If you're going to put a Chaos Orb in your deck you have to use your actual Chaos Orb." Me: "*Sigh*. Okay." I pulled out this huge Chaos Orb and placed it on the table. He tried to cry foul again but everyone else said he insisted I use my actual Chaos Orb and that was my actual Chaos Orb. I used it, flipped it and wiped most of his board. Unsurprisingly, that only worked once and only because everyone present thought it was hilarious.
My DM on Battleminds:
no, see i can kill defenders, but 8 consecutive crits on a battlemind, eh walk it off.
144543765 wrote:
195392035 wrote:
Hi guys! So, I'm a sort of returning player to Magic. I say sort of because as a child I had two main TCG's I liked. Yu-Gi-Oh, and Pokemon. Some of my friends branched off in to Magic, and I bought two pre-made decks just to kind of fit in. Like I said, Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon were what I really knew how to play. I have a extensive knowledge of deck building in those two TCG's. However, as far as Magic is concerned, I only ever used those two pre made decks. I know how the game is played, and I know general things, but now I want to get in the game for real. I want to begin playing it as a regular. My question is, are all cards ever released from the time of the inception of this game until present day fair game in a deck? Or are there special rules? Are some cards forbidden or restricted? Thanks guys, and I will gladly accept ANY help lol.
I have the same problem with women.
117639611 wrote:
198869283 wrote:
Oh I have a standing rule. If someone plays a Planeswalker I concede the game. I refuse to play with or against people who play Planeswalkers. They really did ruin the game.
A turn two Tibalt win?! Wicked... Betcha don't see that everyday.

The Pony Co. 

Is this my new ego sig? Yes it is, other Barry
57461258 wrote:
And that's why you should never, ever call RP Jesus on being a troll, because then everyone else playing along gets outed, too, and the thread goes back to being boring.
57461258 wrote:
See, this is why RPJesus should be in charge of the storyline. The novel line would never have been cancelled if he had been running the show. Specifically the Slobad and Geth's Head talkshow he just described.
57461258 wrote:
Not only was that an obligatory joke, it was an on-topic post that still managed to be off-topic due to thread derailment. RP Jesus does it again folks.
92481331 wrote:
I think I'm gonna' start praying to Jesus... That's right, RPJesus, I'm gonna' be praying to you, right now. O' Jesus Please continue to make my time here on the forums fun and cause me to chuckle. Amen.
92481331 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
It was wonderful. Us Johnnies had a field day. That Timmy with the Grizzly bears would actually have to think about swinging into your Mogg Fanatic, giving you time to set up your silly combo. Nowadays it's all DERPSWING! with thier blue jeans and their MP3 players and their EM EM OH AR PEE JEES and their "Dewmocracy" and their children's card games and their Jersey Shores and their Tattooed Tenaged Vampire Hunters from Beverly Hills
Seriously, that was amazing. I laughed my *ss off. Made my day, and I just woke up.
[quote=ArtVenn You're still one of my favorite people... just sayin'.[/quote]
56756068 wrote:
56786788 wrote:
.....would it be a bit blasphemous if I said, "PRAYSE RPJAYSUS!" like an Evangelical preacher?
Perhaps, but who doesn't like to blaspheme every now and again? Especially when Mr. RPJesus is completely right.
56756068 wrote:
I don't say this often, but ... LOL
57526128 wrote:
You... You... Evil something... I actualy made the damn char once I saw the poster... Now you made me see it again and I gained resolve to put it into my campaign. Shell be high standing oficial of Cyrix order. Uterly mad and only slightly evil. And it'll be bad. Evil even. And ill blame you and Lizard for it :P.
57042968 wrote:
111809331 wrote:
I'm trying to work out if you're being sarcastic here. ...
Am going to stop you right there... it's RPJesus... he's always sarcastic
58335208 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
112114441 wrote:
we can only hope it gets the jace treatment...it could have at least been legendary
So that even the decks that don't run it run it to deal with it? Isn't that like the definition of format warping?
I lol'd.
56287226 wrote:
98088088 wrote:
Uktabi Orangutan What the heck's going on with those monkeys?
The most common answer is that they are what RPJesus would call "[Debutantes avert your eyes]ing."
56965458 wrote:
Show
57461258 wrote:
116498949 wrote:
I’ve removed content from this thread because off-topic discussions are a violation of the Code of Conduct. You can review the Code here: www.wizards.com/Company/About.aspx?x=wz_... Please keep your posts polite, on-topic, and refrain from making personal attacks. You are welcome to disagree with one another but please do so respectfully and constructively. If you wish to report a post for Code of Conduct violation, click on the “Report Post” button above the post and this will submit your report to the moderators on duty.
...Am I the only one that thinks this is reaching the point of downright Kafkaesque insanity?
I condone the use of the word Kafkaesque. However, I'm presentely ambivalent. I mean, that can't be serious, right? We're April 1st, right? They didn't mod RPJesus for off-topic discussion when the WHOLE THREAD IS OFF-TOPIC, right? Right.
57545908 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
Save or die. If you disagree with this, you're wrong (Not because of any points or arguements that have been made, but I just rolled a d20 for you and got a 1, so you lose).
58397368 wrote:
58222628 wrote:
This just won the argument, AFAIC.
That's just awesome.
57471038 wrote:
57718868 wrote:
HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THE BEAR PRODUCING WORDS OF WILDING?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!
That's what RPJesus tends to do. That's why I don't think he's a real person, but some Magic Card Archive Server sort of machine, that is programmed to react to other posters' comments with obscure cards that do in fact exist, but somehow missed by even the most experienced Magic players. And then come up with strange combos with said cards. All of that is impossible for a normal human to do given the amount of time he does it and how often he does it. He/It got me with Light of Sanction, which prompted me to go to RQ&A to try and find if it was even possible to do combat damage to a creature I control (in light that Mark of Asylum exists).
71235715 wrote:
+10
100176878 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
57078538 wrote:
heaven or hell.
Round 1. Lets rock.
GG quotes! RPJesus just made this thread win!
56906968 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
143359585 wrote:
Blue players get all the overpowerered cards like JTMS. I think it's time that wizards gave something to people who remember what magic is really about: creatures.
Initially yes, Wizards was married to blue. However, about a decade ago they had a nasty divorce, and a few years after that they began courting the attention of Green. Then in Worldwake they had a nasty affair with their ex, but as of Innistrad, things seem to have gotten back on track, and Wizards has even proposed.
You are my favorite. Yes you. And moments like this make it so. Thank you RPJesus for just being you.
On what flavor text fits me:
57307308 wrote:
Surely RPJesus gets Niv-Mizzet, Dracogenius?
56874518 wrote:
First: I STILL can't take you seriously with that avatar. And I can take RPJesus seriously, so that's saying something.
121689989 wrote:
I'd offer you a cookie for making me laugh but it has an Upkeep Cost that has been known to cause people to quit eating.
56267956 wrote:
I <3 you loads
57400888 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
"AINT NO LAWS IN THE SKY MOTHER****." - Agrus Kos, Wojek Veteran
10/10. Amazing.
I was just curious because I live in the Twin Cities.


Oh snap, we should meet up and stand around in awkward silence and/or play Magic. Will you be at any of the prerelease stuff? Think I'm gonna be doing the 2HG (Or one of them, I should really see what's going on at the place where the stuff is :/), but I have to get in contact with my friend and see what's up.



I'll probably end up going to Universe Games come Saturday, and possibly come Sunday as well.
They (Wotc) been doing that for a while and now each new sets they print has those guys (inb4riseoftheeldrazididnthaddragons).

Like seriously, where's the rule?



The rule is, people buy boosters to get them, and we wanna make money.

Also, if a set didn't have any, people would complain that it doesn't have any. 
People love playing angels, demons, and dragons. They're the most flavorful iconics. Alpha gave blue djinn, but Arabian Nights gave every color but white a djinn. These days, blue's iconic is "sphinx". I imagine someone solving a sphinx's riddle and the sphinx insulting him and prophesying his future marital arrangements at the same time.

I exclude green because Force of Nature had the ambiguous (and no longer supported) "Force" creature type, its downside was far less flavorful than Lord of the Pit, and its hunger for green mana meant no Channel shenanigans. The other option, at common, is Craw Wurm, which is so janky that it's the subject of more jokes than my earlier bit of Oedipal humor. More recently, it's hydra, which at least can use green's ramp strategy.

So, basically, angels, demons, dragons, people love playing them.


Their have been a fair amount of elementals to carry on Force of Nature's feel. I think if them as green's real flavor creature, after all, life will find a way.
57170298 wrote:
Borrowing the East Wind (P3) - Haha, it's like Hurricane but for horsemanship? That makes hilariously little sense. "Oh man, the wind is so much worse up on this horse."
57044478 wrote:
Jon Finkel can win a Magic tournament with a ham sandwich. That doesn't mean ham sandwiches are now the metagame breaker.
97820278 wrote:
Koth: I'm the first viable red planeswalker. Who are you? Tibalt: I'm a two-mana red planeswalker. Koth: I'm the last viable red planeswalker.
Their have been a fair amount of elementals to carry on Force of Nature's feel. I think if them as green's real flavor creature, after all, life will find a way.



Vigor is part of a cycle, though. And the Avenger is "win more".

It just has the oddness of having a drawback. I mean, Lord of the Pit did, but he's a demon. It fits him. Something some demons from Innistrad should realize.
139359831 wrote:
Clever deduction Watson! Maybe you can explain why Supergirl is trying to kill me.
---- Autocard is your friend. Lightning Bolt = Lightning Bolt
They (Wotc) been doing that for a while and now each new sets they print has those guys (inb4riseoftheeldrazididnthaddragons).

Like seriously, where's the rule?

Well I can tell you that they put at least one Dragon and at least on Angel in almost every set because LOTS of people like Dragons and Angels.  A lot of the time, it's the card a 10 year old gets in their first booster pack and makes them really fall in love with the game; if not for the game aspect then for the holycrapthiscardissocoolandawesomelooking aspect

You are Red/Blue!



It just has the oddness of having a drawback. I mean, Lord of the Pit did, but he's a demon. It fits him. Something some demons from Innistrad should realize.



Out of the four Innistrad demons you mentioned, two have you pay life for knowledge and one will kill your own creatures if others are not presented to it. Harvester of Souls is the only one without a life cost or risk of killing your own dudes.
Rules Adviser, casual tournament organizer, lover of EDH and MtG evangelist.


It just has the oddness of having a drawback. I mean, Lord of the Pit did, but he's a demon. It fits him. Something some demons from Innistrad should realize.



Out of the four Innistrad demons you mentioned, two have you pay life for knowledge and one will kill your own creatures if others are not presented to it. Harvester of Souls is the only one without a life cost or risk of killing your own dudes.



Optional "life for cards" isn't a downside, though. I wouldn't even really consider Phyrexian Arena a downside.
139359831 wrote:
Clever deduction Watson! Maybe you can explain why Supergirl is trying to kill me.
---- Autocard is your friend. Lightning Bolt = Lightning Bolt


It just has the oddness of having a drawback. I mean, Lord of the Pit did, but he's a demon. It fits him. Something some demons from Innistrad should realize.



Out of the four Innistrad demons you mentioned, two have you pay life for knowledge and one will kill your own creatures if others are not presented to it. Harvester of Souls is the only one without a life cost or risk of killing your own dudes.



Optional "life for cards" isn't a downside, though. I wouldn't even really consider Phyrexian Arena a downside.



The benefit outweighs the cost, but it is absolutely a downside, and incredibly fitting for demons.
IMAGE(http://images.community.wizards.com/community.wizards.com/user/blitzschnell/c1b8574f03c7cff35d72311f1208599a.jpg?v=90000)


The benefit outweighs the cost, but it is absolutely a downside, and incredibly fitting for demons.



Absolutely. Pain for power has been the flavor of MtG's demons since Alpha.

And the option to pay life for cards is a benefit, but losing life is obviously a downside. Seriously.
Rules Adviser, casual tournament organizer, lover of EDH and MtG evangelist.
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