Incredibly silly Fumble charts

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So, I run a very silly game for some friends. We have a lot of fun just being goofy instead of seriously role playing. It's a real easy way to get rid of all those frustrations in real life!

I want your ideas for ridiculous things to happen when a player rolls a 1 during an attack! The sillier the better!
Here are a few to get you started. (I found them various places and don't really remember where for most of them so if it's yours my sincerest apologies for not citing you and thanks for the idea!)

1.  Being confident is one thing.  Being so cocky you yell 'I am INVINCIBLE!' as you attack your enemy - providing him ample warning to get out of the way - is quite another. You Miss.

2. Your shoelace is untied!  No it isn't, you dummy.  Looking at your foot did cause you to miss, though.

3. You give yourself a black eye.

4. For one round, Your weapon spontaneously animates. It does nothing but constantly sing show tunes.

5. You lose your grip on your weapon. It flies through the air and hits 1-50 hits monster roll for damage. 51-100 hits nearest friend does 1d6 damage.

6.  You miss so hard that your future self comes back through time to bitchslap you. Take 1d4 points of damage.

7. You flail wildly, inadvertently giving yourself a sexy new haircut.
this is kind of dependent on a sequence of fumbles but (this really happened)...

Player rolls a 1.  Now I play with breakaway crits and fumbles, so he rolls again and gets a 1.  He rolls again and thankfully does not get a 1.  But based on simple fumble table he falls on his butt and is now considered "prone".  The orc that went to attack him tries to take advantage of this only to roll consecutive 1s as well.  So he falls on his butt too.  Because of the "legendary magic" system I run, the PC's boots are now boots of fumble tripping.  If he rolls a 1 he immediately falls on his butt (no additional rolls required), AND any one humanoid opponent (chosen at random if more than one) he is in direct combat with has to make a reflex save or fall on his butt too .

So maybe in your "silly system" - You swing wildly, and slip and fall to the ground landing very hard on your ass. You take 1d4 points of damage.  In addition, (if in melee), your legs get tangled up in an enemy's legs and he must make a reflex save or fall on his ass too.



Are you really "entitled to your opinion"?
RedSiegfried wrote:
The cool thing is, you don't even NEED a reason to say yes.  Just stop looking for a reason to say no.
Oh I like that. But I'll make it a separate one.

8. Your legs get tangled with the creature near you. You fall on your butt, your opponent (or whoever you tangled up with) has to make a reflex save or aslo fall on his butt. Hmm. What DC to put it at... DC 20 I think.

Great idea.

6.  You miss so hard that your future self comes back through time to bitchslap you. Take 1d4 points of damage.

I am so using that tonight, lol, thanks!

9. On a charge fail...Right before you strike, you stub your toe, causing you to trip and slide into his filthy feet; take 1d4 poison dmg.
I know, I can't wait to use that one. LOL your number 9 has merits. I could see it working even without a charge. Just you stub your town, trip and end up with your opponents toe in your mouth. Take 1d4 of poison dmg.

The Hackmaster Critical Mass Table gets a workout....
[spoiler New DM Tips]
  • Trying to solve out-of-game problems (like cheating, bad attitudes, or poor sportsmanship) with in-game solutions will almost always result in failure, and will probably make matters worse.
  • Gun Safety Rule #5: Never point the gun at anything you don't intend to destroy. (Never introduce a character, PC, NPC, Villain, or fate of the world into even the possibility of a deadly combat or other dangerous situation, unless you are prepared to destroy it instantly and completely forever.)
  • Know your group's character sheets, and check them over carefully. You don't want surprises, but, more importantly, they are a gold mine of ideas!
  • "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." It's a problem if the players aren't having fun and it interferes with a DM's ability to run the game effectively; if it's not a problem, 'fixing' at best does little to help, and at worst causes problems that didn't exist before.
  • "Hulk Smash" characters are a bad match for open-ended exploration in crowds of civilians; get them out of civilization where they can break things and kill monsters in peace.
  • Success is not necessarily the same thing as killing an opponent. Failure is not necessarily the same thing as dying.
  • Failure is always an option. And it's a fine option, too, as long as failure is interesting, entertaining, and fun!
[/spoiler] The New DM's Group Horror in RPGs "This is exactly what the Leprechauns want you to believe!" - Merb101 "Broken or not, unbalanced or not, if something seems to be preventing the game from being enjoyable, something has to give: either that thing, or other aspects of the game, or your idea of what's enjoyable." - Centauri
LOL funny video. My critical hit charts never do more than a d8 of damage to any player and at my player's levels a d8 is nothing. But I can see how you can get out of hand with it. lol Besides, it's kinda impossible to fire the crossbow in your own face unless you're using your toes to do it. It would have more likely hit the person in front of him.

Besides, the point of my critical hit chart is to make people laugh. :D Not kill them or break their weapons. 
10. Your weapon gets stuck in a neaqrby piece of scenery, such as a tree or a door. Or the ground. Spend 1 action and pass a strength check to free it.

11. You and your opponent both try to headbutt each other at the same time. You both spend the rest of the turn rubbing your sore noses.

12. You take a strong stance, brace yourself... and accidentally break wind, very loudly. All creatures within burst 4 must roll a saving throw or else spend a round laughing hystrically. 1 in 100 chance of soiling your breeches.
LOL love the breaking wind one!
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