kaalia, the vast. AS A PLANES WALKER?

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following todays uncharted realms, about kaalia the vast, I think shes to powerfull (in her flavor) to be just a meer mortal. so how abought her as a planes walker:
kaalia, the vast        
+2: ~ does 2 damage to target opponent, you gain 2 life, and target creature gets -2/-2 until the end of turn.
-2: take control of target permanent that shares a color with ~
-6: put an angel, demon, or dragon card from your hand onto the battlefeild.

I know this sounds like it should be in the you make the card section, but I wan't to get into her flavor, what is she doing know, has she killed neferox yet, or is she still trying, you tell me.
Just because someone is powerful, doesn't make them a 'Walker.  That is silly.

EDIT:  As for your card; you left out the starting loyalty.  Also, her ultimate (while fitting her card) doesn't do what good ultimates do....win you the game.  It would be more interesting if you searched your hand, graveyard, and library for an angel, a dragon, and a demon card (search three zones, get three creatures) and put them into play.

@mikemearls The office is basically empty this week, which opens up all sorts of possibilities for low shenanigans

@mikemearls In essence, all those arguments I lost are being unlost. Won, if you will. We're doing it MY way, baby.

@biotech66 aren't you the boss anyway? isn't "DO IT OR I FIRE YOU!" still an option?

@mikemearls I think Perkins would throat punch me if I ever tried that. And I'd give him a glowing quarterly review for it.

No. Just no.

First of all, raw power does not a walker make. There's plenty of powerful beings out there that aren't walkers and never will be. Conversely, not all walkers are powerful.

Secondly, nothing about her character needs to be a walker. Her character is wrapped up in seeking revenge against Nefarox's cult. Her character is intrinsically tied to Alara. Being a walker does nothing for her.
i know that just because there power full doesnt meen there a planeswalker, i just thought it would be "cool' if she was. as for the starting loyalty counters, sorry, i forgot that. she starts with 5, and i was going for a faster plainswalker, like the first garuuk, but also, there tons of angels, demons, and dragons, that when on the feild, do win you the game, ( e.i. iona, sheild of emeria) if you want me to change it to your suggestion, I will. 

Also, this hole game is made up. Why is this specific idea "silly", i was just saying what if. People on the flavor thread are constantly making stuff up. But if you do insist that my reasoning is flawed, I came up with this idea because plaineswalkers are expedentionaly more powerfull than non-walkers, so saying that kaalia could cast something as big as a dragon/angel/demon with ease is above what most non-walkers could do.
This. A key to writing Planeswalkers is that you have to have a good reason for them to walk the planes.

Man, I really, really need to adapt some of what people have said about writing 'walker characters into an actual creator's guidebook...

EDIT: This was in reference to Thoctar. Man, neeeed to lay off the coffee. [twitch twitch twitch] 
Coming Soon to the Magic: Expanded Multiverse: FRAGMENTS: A Shards of Alara Anthology
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I came up with this idea because plaineswalkers are expedentionaly more powerfull than non-walkers,

While there are exceptions, as a rule, that's not true post-mending. Current Planeswalkers are no different than any other member of their species outside of their ability to Planeswalk. They might know more or a greater variety of spells due to their capacity for traveling, but they are by no means stronger.
 so saying that kaalia could cast something as big as a dragon/angel/demon with ease is above what most non-walkers could do.


It's not.
Dragonmaster Outcast
Angel's Herald
Demon's Herald
Dragon's Herald
Dragonspeaker Shaman
and so on

i know that just because there power full doesnt meen there a planeswalker, i just thought it would be "cool' if she was. as for the starting loyalty counters, sorry, i forgot that. she starts with 5, and i was going for a faster plainswalker, like the first garuuk, but also, there tons of angels, demons, and dragons, that when on the field, do win you the game, ( e.i. iona, sheild of emeria) if you want me to change it to your suggestion, I will. 

Also, this hole game is made up. Why is this specific idea "silly", i was just saying what if. People on the flavor thread are constantly making stuff up. But if you do insist that my reasoning is flawed, I came up with this idea because plaineswalkers are expintionaly more powerfull than non-walkers, so saying that kaalia could cast something as big as a dragon/angel/demon with ease is above what most non-walkers could do.

I had something long and cool written out, but then I managed to accidently close my browser window and lost it all. 

Anyway, about the card:
Her ultimate is only worth it if you have an angel, demon, or dragon in your hand, and only then it's not much of a helper because since she's six mana already, you could have already just played many of those creatures.  Searching for a card to play from your deck is better, because you know you will find one to play.  Searching three places for three creatures to play is worthy of an ultimate.

About Planeswalkers:
They're not as high and mighty as you think.  Some of them are, yes, but there have been a great many non-'Walker mortals that have shown themselves to be more powerful that their plane-hopping brethren.  Being able to 'walk doesn't make you more powerful, it just means you can travel more places.  If a character has no reason to wander around outside their home plane, then there really isn't a good reason to make them a 'Walker.

@mikemearls The office is basically empty this week, which opens up all sorts of possibilities for low shenanigans

@mikemearls In essence, all those arguments I lost are being unlost. Won, if you will. We're doing it MY way, baby.

@biotech66 aren't you the boss anyway? isn't "DO IT OR I FIRE YOU!" still an option?

@mikemearls I think Perkins would throat punch me if I ever tried that. And I'd give him a glowing quarterly review for it.

I came up with this idea because plaineswalkers are expedentionaly more powerfull than non-walkers,

While there are exceptions, as a rule, that's not true post-mending. Current Planeswalkers are no different than any other member of their species outside of their ability to Planeswalk. They might know more or a greater variety of spells due to their capacity for traveling, but they are by no means stronger.
 so saying that kaalia could cast something as big as a dragon/angel/demon with ease is above what most non-walkers could do.


It's not.
Dragonmaster Outcast
Angel's Herald
Demon's Herald
Dragon's Herald
Dragonspeaker Shaman
and so on

You want someone to fetch you a dragon?  Zirilan is your manlizard.

@mikemearls The office is basically empty this week, which opens up all sorts of possibilities for low shenanigans

@mikemearls In essence, all those arguments I lost are being unlost. Won, if you will. We're doing it MY way, baby.

@biotech66 aren't you the boss anyway? isn't "DO IT OR I FIRE YOU!" still an option?

@mikemearls I think Perkins would throat punch me if I ever tried that. And I'd give him a glowing quarterly review for it.

@Keeper
I ripped off that "a walker needs a reason to walk" spiel, from you I believe, after you pointed out how many characters in Jedi's Planeswalker contest had no reason walking. *cough*likemine*cough*
@Keeper
I ripped off that "a walker needs a reason to walk" spiel, from you I believe, after you pointed out how many characters in Jedi's Planeswalker contest had no reason walking. *cough*likemine*cough*

I ripped it off from Szat, actually. I pointed it out, I think, originally, but Szat wrote a big long expansion on the idea, which I then ripped off of him in return. :P
Coming Soon to the Magic: Expanded Multiverse: FRAGMENTS: A Shards of Alara Anthology
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i know that just because there power full doesnt meen there a planeswalker, i just thought it would be "cool' if she was. Also, this hole game is made up. Why is this specific idea "silly", i was just saying what if.


We don't really do the "it would be cool" line of reasoning around here. There have to be actual reasons for any given thing that we talk about, and merely entertaining the thought for how cool something would be isn't generally something that we do.
There have to be actual reasons for any given thing that we talk about, and merely entertaining the thought for how cool something would be isn't generally something that we do.



Shenanigans, good sir!

Tamiyo writes the Planeswalker Guides.
A Spanish demon bear stalks Keeper and thirsts for his blood with every spelling or grammatical error.
You and BeastEngine are locked in an eternal duel for the soul of the universe.

We're all about the Rule of Cool around here. >:U

Edit: It occurs to me that none of that applies to Magic's canon.
Carry on.
In fairness, even there we've been flexible in the past. Like one of Szat's characters is basically a planeswalking tourist and for part of his storyline he drags his sister along with him. That kinda contradicts the rules, but the story is so interesting that we let it slide. See also: our three undead 'walkers.

But the important part there is that those characters have a compelling story reason for being what they are. Nooot really seeing that here (or with Niv Mizzet, while we're on the subject of things being 'walkers arbitrarily) 
Coming Soon to the Magic: Expanded Multiverse: FRAGMENTS: A Shards of Alara Anthology
(Click through to view the cover and announcement page)Want to get your work in the Expanded Multiverse? Come join the project! Oh, and check out my blog, Storming the Ivory Tower: making sense of academia, media, and culture twice weekly.
following todays uncharted realms, about kaalia the vast, I think shes to powerfull (in her flavor) to be just a meer mortal. so how abought her as a planes walker:
kaalia, the vast        
+2: ~ does 2 damage to target opponent, you gain 2 life, and target creature gets -2/-2 until the end of turn.
-2: take control of target permanent that shares a color with ~
-6: put an angel, demon, or dragon card from your hand onto the battlefeild.



+2: Gives you 2 life, takes 2 life from an opponent, and grants +1 card advantage. Really? As in, really? Sorin Markov comes close, granting either card advantage or taking life, and he costs six mana, but it's triple-.
-2: This is just insane. Stealing is an instant +2 in card advantage. (You're taking a card from your opponent to use as your own.)
-6: Oddly, this isn't that broken. But I'd just be -2ing you every time it felt safe anyway.
139359831 wrote:
Clever deduction Watson! Maybe you can explain why Supergirl is trying to kill me.
---- Autocard is your friend. Lightning Bolt = Lightning Bolt
Most of what I want to say has been said already. So I'll say this:

The +2 should not target a creature. Unless a Planeswalker has multiple + abilities, a + should not target anything other than a player or a land, because otherwise there's no guarantee that you can use it to build up loyalty.

When a Planeswalker has a + ability that affects a creature, it's worded like Ajani, Caller of the Pride's, so that it can be used even if there are no creatures in play.
IMAGE(http://images.community.wizards.com/community.wizards.com/user/blitzschnell/c6f9e416e5e0e1f0a1e5c42b0c7b3e88.jpg?v=90000)
ok, guess i was wrong about the plainswalker thing, though I am intrested in any flavor on her, shes quite an intresting character. 
abought the no reason for walking thing, whats jaces reason, or chandras, or tibalt for that matter, too.
abought the no reason for walking thing, whats jaces reason, or chandras, or tibalt for that matter, too.



Jace is the leader of an interplanar organisation, and is the iconic blue character.

Chandra is the iconic red character.

Tibalt hasn't showed up in the storyline yet.

Rules Advisor

Quotes
76783093 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
58331438 wrote:
56945988 wrote:
Rancor dies to in-response removal.
Yeah... Until next game, where it'll be right back. Seriously, there's no way to deal with Rancor in any format. It should be banned, except Gleemax is a lobbyist for the Rancor party, so that'll never happen.
You can't ban rancor, it just returns to your deck.
58331438 wrote:
57461258 wrote:
You might want to actually talk to the Flavor & Storyline Board people... since, you know, our whole reason for playing Magic is the flavor. I'm willing to bet you'll get a lot more interest there than in General.
Indeed, both posters down there would be thrilled.
57817638 wrote:
I think I wasn't direct enough in my last post. I'll try to fix it now. Ahem... NO ONE CARES there you have it.
57471038 wrote:
When talks about banning Jace first started, I was thinking that I would see him banned come June 20th. But as I think more about it, I don't really think that Jace is the problem anymore. Sure his power level leaves very little to the imagination (opening Jace is like opening a refrigerator box with a naked girl on the inside), and sure his price does have a strong impact on what players choose to play (playing Jace is like being intimate with a woman and she doesn't charge you in the morning), but it is not the source of all the problems in Standard.
76973988 wrote:
How do people think saving room to print more abilities on cards is dumbing down the game?

Do you really think, say, Akroma would ever be printed if she said, "Akroma can block by creatures with this ability and cannot be blocked by creatures without this ability.  If a creature without this ability would deal combat damage by Akroma would be destroyed, prevent all combat damage that creature would deal to Akroma this combat.  Attacking does not cause Akroma to tap.  If Akroma is blocked and deals lethal damage, it deals the remainder of its damage to the defending player.  Akroma may attack and use abilities that require tapping in the casting cost the turn it enters the battlefield.  Akroma cannot be damaged, enchanted, equipped, blocked or targeted by black or red sources" rather than her "dumbed down" wording she has?  No freaking way.  Keywording and shorthand allows them to make complicated cards easy to play with, allowing them to be printed in the first place.
57817638 wrote:
The creation of praetors was worth it just because now amoeboid changeling is a praetor.
57140668 wrote:
1. cast frankie peanuts2. ask opponent "will you concede the game this turn"? if they say yes, you win; if they say no, play a staying power
3. subsequently ask "will you attack this turn"? and "will you cast a spell this turn"? (using a Teferi, Mage of Zhalfir for the second question if necessary) to ensure they can't disrupt the combo
4. donate them a platinum angel
5. play a mox lotus and braingeyser them for every card in their library. play an opalescence and donate them a glorious anthem and a blacker lotus, then play enchanted evening. play and activate a mindslaver and then donate them a fastbond and the mox lotus (returning one of the donates to your hand with eternal witness or whatever)
6. during their turn, play every permanent in their hand (playing lands with fastbond) then (as yourself) cast mirrorweave on the blacker lotus, so every permanent becomes a copy of it. proceed to tear up every card they control, and hopefully do it before they notice that they aren't bound by staying power's ability anymore and can concede
82423538 wrote:
57471038 wrote:
82423538 wrote:
One part of the statement being true=/=the whole statement true.
Whatever. I'm still here about ten minutes away. Whenever you want to get destroyed in Magic, I'm available.
I would like to get destroyed in Magic, actually. Do you know anybody good enough?
57617478 wrote:
Please format your statements in a way that doesn't look like a baboon hit its face on your keyboard.
57140668 wrote:
why did Garruk Relentless lose a loyalty counter
Show
to get to the other side
89522235 wrote:
You're such an obvious troll that you have hexproof and : Regenerate.
56957928 wrote:
56776038 wrote:
Dark Ritual being overpowered is determined more by what is done with it than the card itself.
True, but the fact that it enables so many ridiculous things is pretty telling. It's like, sure I can use a shotgun as a bludgeoning instrument, but that doesn't make it not a shotgun.
79035425 wrote:
Shortly before Serra died, she transferred her spark into an angel whose full name was Asha Avacyn Bolas. Her dragon father groomed her for her positions in Alara and Innistrad, and she's also been getting help from her uncle Ugin in the form of Urza, who was resurrected as Marit Lage to be the avatar as which she projects herself into material realms. Grieslbrand is a split personality who sometimes wanders the planes disguised as a human woman named Liliana Vess.
97610188 wrote:
Yeah that (Content Removed) really annoys me. Moderated by MY_self right about naahowwww!
93446159 wrote:
Dilleux_Lepaire just won the thread.
57461258 wrote:
And, as usual, Dilleux wins the entire thread. Nice work, sir, nice work.
99113151 wrote:
They need to make 9 layers of zones where cards go when they "die". Much like Hell.
56778328 wrote:
Wow, holy doggy poop, kids, obvious statement is obvious.
56776038 wrote:
122053101 wrote:
i don't think your geting it WotC is trying to kill the comption to make it so that there shity app is the only one left.
I haven't tried the app. How is its use of English grammar? Cheers!
57471038 wrote:
Everyone's life would be easier if players would, instead of coming to the 'net for help with a deck, just netdeck and be done with it. And I'm not talking about some Top 8 lists, for the Casualists, too, can benefit from netdecking. I've netdecked plenty of decks from the Casual Play forums from users such as Mown, Raedien, Floopfoot, and a few others. I snatched straight the heck out of my web browser. Yes, people, your original idea fell victim to a savage netdecker. You have been assimiliated. Suppose I wanted a Zombie deck. Why on earth would I spend time searching Gatherer for a decent list of Zombie cards when Raedien already did it for me? Taking time to be creative or waiting on people on the forums to tell you why your deck sucks or 'go to Casual forums' is a disasterous waste of time (to me).
56957928 wrote:
82423538 wrote:
If WotC started putting $100 bills in packs, the players would complain that they folded them wrong.
No, they just spam them with ban requests. That being said, Magic was ruined back in Alpha when they added all that rules and cards [Debutantes avert your eyes]. My friends and I still like playing it the "pure" way (Basically we go into the woods and hit eachother with wiffle bats while shouting made up obscenities. You know, the way Garfield wanted it to be played).
56957928 wrote:
Don't worry about it. I've come up with a list of changes to fix EDH. -First off, there's no commander. -The minimum deck size is 60 cards, and each deck can have up to four of each card, save basic lands and relentless rats. Also decks have no color identity. -Starting life total is 20. And voila, now things are balanced.
89522235 wrote:
Here's a clever play you can try yourself: -Convince friend to run relentless rats.dec in legacy tournament -Get a deck with lots of mill, yixlid jailer, and humility -Drop humility and jailer, wait for him to dump his hand, mill him out -All his rats now have no abilities. Call a judge because he's playing an illegal deck with more than 4 of a single card. -Get him/her banned from competitive magic play
142055101 wrote:
But how to mark them without making the individual sleeve different! You could buy a skunk and slam it's butt on you deck (pardon the french) Then after the game just sniff at your opponent's pile of cards and you will know if any of your cards are there!!!
141434757 wrote:
In Soviet Russia, Sorin opens You
71235715 wrote:
L, is for the leather gloves you weaaaar. O, is for the organs that guy could spaaaare. V, is very very, extraordinay. E, is for every vagrant i butchered in a wine cellar befooooore.
57052258 wrote:
The outer layer of the Magic: the Gathering box, the carton, or crust, is fairly thin and light, and contains largely aluminosilcates. Within that lies the middle layer, consisting of the familiar booster pack. Although solid, the booster packs' high temperatures allow them to acutally move around within the booster box. This flow, sometimes called convection, is cited by frustrated box mappers as one of WOTC's most genious uses of thermodynamics since the Ravnica block. No one knows what lies at the core of the booster box, but scientists theorize that it must be especially dense in order to make up for the large amount of fluff distributed amongst the booster packs.
58232598 wrote:
88993869 wrote:
Torpor Orb is absolutely godawful against Vexing Devil.
whoever is playing vexing devil is probably losing anyways
56957928 wrote:
I imagine [Ajani 3's] second ability involves him hurling the creature at your opponent Brion Stoutarm style, then the guy is just like "Okay, that may have worked, but don't- GOD DAMN IT!" as he does it again because cats don't give a **** :33.
56957928 wrote:
"Do or do not, there is no try." - Albus Dumbledore, The Lord of the Rings.
89522235 wrote:
68978039 wrote:
Its like that one time Elves broke out in a field of Jund. Elves became a resurgent hit, then died off again once Jund adapted to the rest of the field of G/W that it required mass removal that inherently pooped on Elves too. Submit to the menace. Delver can, and will blot out the sun.
Then we shall play in the shade.
89522235 wrote:
I'm sorry, this forum isn't for getting bad advice on mediocre decks, that's standard deck help. This forum is for starting ****storms.
97820278 wrote:
139359831 wrote:
Your advice would only lead me to make generic, boring, and unworthy content. It's of no use to me.
I just got this image of you as an architect, having finished a building suspended by only a small pole in its southwest corner, saying it's original. Then the building collapses.
56957928 wrote:
I for one love the flavor of legendary lands. "I remember my days as a youth at Tolarian Academy." "Wow, small multiverse, I actually went there too." "WAIT, DON'T- Well ****, there's $200,000 in student loans well spent."
56957928 wrote:
And flavor goes out the window when you cast a second copy of a planeswalker right after the first one dies, so... "Hey Nissa, I need a favor." "You just asked me for a 'favor' like thirty seconds ago, and it turned out to be having Sarkhan Transmogrify my only follower into a dragon like 5 times -which dickery aside also violates some laws of causality - and then you let me get beaten over the head by that hedron crab." "...I'll give you " "...Well all right then."
57150868 wrote:
GM, I don't think Dill is better than you. I KNOW it. Even if he wakes up every morning, clubs a baby seal, steals all the TV remotes from within a block's radius of his house and then robs hungry orphans of their food he'd be better than you, for the simple reason that he learns from his mistakes.
143211137 wrote:
57033358 wrote:
Tamiyo vs. Gideon
What would they have to fight about? Like, all I can think of now is Gideon going "Hey, long-ears! I'm gathering a group of 'Walkers together to fight some tentacle monsters.....you want in?" and Tamiyo going "Ew! Hentai no bakka Gideon-desu desu!" and flying away.
76783093 wrote:
I open 4 packs just to be on the safe side. Not only do I get more cards than everyone else, but I also get to spend the rest of the night off. Win Win.
191752181 wrote:
MaRo has a thing for people opening boosters with bad cards. But since he can only get so many bad cards printed in each set, he has found a devious way of getting more bad cards into circulation: He makes entire print sheets with just bad rares, then puts them onto the assembly line. He proceeds to wring his hands and twirl his evil mustache that he grew for twirling purposes as a lightning bolt strikes in the background. Afterwards, he goes to make sure that the good cards are only opened by everyone's friends, and that we all only get to open bad cards. He does this by memorising each booster, than switching them around accordingly. Whenever someone complains about a card, he immediately jumps out from behind a chair to yell "WELL, IT'S NOT FOR YOU!" before merging back into the shadows in order to devise new ways in which he can screw over players, then claim that he has valid reasons for doing so.
97820278 wrote:
192729031 wrote:
You open a booster pack, and staring back at you from the rare slot is a Lotleth Troll? At least I can stick him in my EDH deck and still have four for my standard constructed.
Because lol troll
56874518 wrote:
It helped that I more or less skipped most of GM_Champion's longer diatribes. I only have so many brain cells I'm willing to sacrifice each day.
192931349 wrote:
Mark Rosewater is sitting in a seemingly innocuous cable TV van, outside of Bankaimastery's house. Sitting nearby are two hardened criminal hackers, fresh out of prison, and filled with resentment at their lack of physical fitness. "Have you managed to hack his brainwaves yet? The set deadline's coming up fast." "We're almost through. It should be coming up on the screen any second." The hacker presses a button, and Kevin's thoughts flash onto the screen. Mark and the hackers stare in amazement at the sheer beauty, the elegance, and the raw truth of what they see. It's like the ending to 2001: A Space Odyssey. Brilliant light shines across the screen, the truth of existence is made clear to them, and they despair at their own foolishness, their own ignorance, their own inadequacy. And then they steal his ideas. As they return back to R&D, Mark sneers at a haggard old man chained to a cast-iron sphere. The man looks up from his laborious task of breaking rocks in the dungeon of Wizards of the Coast headquarters, and asks a question: "Kevin, my greatest student. He - he's all right, isn't he? You didn't hurt him?" Mark deals him a weighty blow with his boot. "Know your place, Richard. Get back to work."
57023768 wrote:
Now show me on the Garruk doll where Zac Hill ruined your enjoyment of Magic...
63711769 wrote:
I'm only opposed to it because it bears so little relation to how people actually play the game. The example of Miracles is actually a much better one then the Clone example I was trying to use. From the game's perspective, the card can move instantly from face down in the library to revealed in the hand and that's fine for the rules. But in real life, we can't actually do that, so the card spends a good bit of time in locations that are neither where that player's library is nor where that player's hand is. And that's fine for real life. What I don't want is the disconnect to be explicitly codified. Along the lines of
183664.697 A game of Magic as laid out by these rules exists only as a pure Platonic ideal, utterly unrealizable by fallible mortals limited by the confines of physicality and the ravages of evil and sin. 183664.698 The cake is a lie, too.
I know it's true, but I don't want the rules to actually straight-up tell me that.
147137503 wrote:
77120821 wrote:
Pfft this cant be serious can it? If it is please delete your account OP. Its not even close to ban worthy, considering what JTMS and stoneforge had to accomplish to get banned i see the WotC selling magic to aquire Pokemon before that ever happens.
I'm trying to imagine sorin markov as a gym leader in one of those pokemon games which you have to beat him to get his badge... somehow I imagine that he would stab you in the chest with his sword before giving you the badge, even if you beat his pokemon....
196239043 wrote:
Personally, I'd be fine with tea time but then I'm not gonna waste the mana summoning Emrakul, the Aeons Torn. He always takes all the sugar, drinks the whole pot of Earl Grey and doesn't even say thank you. SO. RUDE.

 

JustTerrorIt wrote:

 

JuliusPringle wrote:

All I want to do is sit down and play magic, but when I walked in yesterday, (since I didn't talk to anyone) nobody talked to me and I silently bought what I wanted and walked out.


If you don't talk to anyone, that increases the odds that no one will talk to you.

 

JuliusPringle wrote:

So how do I just... introduce myself? "Hi, my name is Adam, wanna play magic with me?" Do I go to the counter and talk to the cashier?


Yeah. Talk to the cashier. Tell him/her that you want a Black Lotus, and if they don't have one tell them that the store isn't on par with what you expected.

 

Reach into your back left pocket. Pull out a deck list that you copied directly from some ChannelFireball top 8 Standard discussion, and ask for all the cards, as is, on that list. Then, ask for some random, probably terrible cards from whatever set is Standard legal. Say it's tech for the upcoming changes in the metagame.

 

Pull out a deck, and tell some random dude you wanna test (you have to use the term "test" for this to work) for Standard. Make sure that deck contains Kitchen Finks and Alluring Siren. Maybe throw in Nyxathid for good measure.

 

Finally, before you leave, spill (make it look like an accident) one hundred singleton, random cards onto the floor. Pick them up, put them in a pile, and say "EEE-DEE-AYCH".

 

I know this sounds dumb at first, but it will work. With the method outlined above, you will draw the attention of players that play older formats by asking for cards that no one on Earth can reasonably afford. You will get the attention of the wanna-be pro, Stomp-n00bz players by pulling out a well known decklist and declare that you have "tech" to make it better. You will get the attention of all the kind, helpful players by seemingly not knowing the most common format by having non-Standard legal cards in a deck that you claim is Standard legal. Finally, you catch all the rest of the Magic players by saying "EEE-DEE-AYCH" (EDH (or Commander)).

And there you have it. You will be talking to more people than you would have wanted to talk to in no time.

 

Smoke_Stack wrote:

EDH is the best format anyway


See, it's starting already.

 

Break the Card
What is Break the Card?
Break the Card is a regular thread in the Cards and Combo Forum. Quite simply, the participants are given a Johnnystatic card (e.g. Xenograft) and are asked to build a deck around it. The winner and honorable mentions are sigged below. Get brewing!
Week 1 : Xenograft
This week's Break the Card was based around Xenograft. Thread : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27681049/Break_the_card_:_Xenograft?pg=1 Winner : Axterix with his Vampdrazi deck. Finalist : Vektor480 with his Ally/Golem/Plant deck. Honorable mentions : Zammm for the Turntimber Ranger combo and TinGorilla for suggesting Sarkhan the Mad.
Week 2 : Mindlock Orb
Here's the link to the Mindlock Orb contest : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27697565/Break_the_Card_:_Mindlock_Orb?sdb=1&pg=last#497536269 Winner : Axterix with his Maralen of the Mornsong deck. Honorable mentions : Void_Elemental.
Week 3 : Bludgeon Brawl
Here's the link to Break the Card : Bludgeon Brawl : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27715169/Break_the_Card_:_Bludgeon_Brawl?sdb=1&pg=last#498208797 Winner : Vektor and his Grab the World deck. Finalist : Crandor with his Awesome Aliteration deck. Honorable mentions : RP Jesus with his Wat deck and Zix200 with his Signet Renewal deck.
Week 4 : Followed Footsteps
This week was Followed Footsteps : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27748677/Break_the_Card_:_Followed_Footsteps?pg=1 Winner : Tevish_Szat with his Exponential Growth deck. Honorable mentions : Zix with his Carbon Copies deck and Escef with his Fungus of Speed and Time deck.
Week 5 : Delaying Shield
This week's card was Delaying Shield : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27790101/Break_the_Card_:_Delaying_Shield Winner : Tevish_Szat. Finalist : Vampire_Bat. Honorable Mention : Zix200.
Week 6 : Painter's Servant
This week's card was Painter's Servant : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27940861/Break_the_Card_:_Painters_Servant?pg=1 Winner : Tevish_Szat with his Paint it Black deck. Finalist : Wprundv with his Tiger, Tiger Painted Bright deck.
Week 7 : Venser, the Sojourner
This week's card was Venser, the Sojourner : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/27977489/Break_the_Card_:_Venser,_the_Sojourner Winner : Izzett with her "Venser, Trickster Trader" deck. Finalist : Wprundv with his "Tactical Sojourner Action" deck.
Week 8 : Personal Sanctuary
This week's card was Personal Sanctuary : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/28005461/Break_the_card_:_Personal_Sanctuary Winner : MrQuizzles. Honorable mention : Vampire_Bat and UbberSheep
Week 9 : Sundial of the Infinite
This week's card was Sundial of the Infinite : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/28038277/Break_the_card_:_Sundial_of_the_Infinite Finalist : Izzett with her "Afterlife Trespassers" deck. Winner : Xeromus with his "Fortune 500" deck.
Week 10 : Jace's Archivist
This week's card was Jace's Archivist : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/28063377/Break_the_Card_:_Jaces_Archivist. Finalists : Jentaru with his "Consecration of the Draw" deck and HereticSmitty with his "ADHD: The deck" deck. Winner : JaxsonBateman with his "The Archives Are Endless!" deck.
Week 11 : Search the City
This week's card was Search the City : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29518555/Break_the_Card_:_Search_the_City Finalist : Mown with "A Thousand Footsteps". Winner : Desolation_masticore with "Burn the City".
Week 12 : Fiend Hunter
This week's card was Fiend Hunter : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29530975/Break_the_Card_:_Fiend_Hunter Winner : Yuyu63 with "Carnival Hunting". Honorable mention : Dknowle's "Champion the Fiend".
Week 13 : Clock of Omens
This week's card was Clock of Omens : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29541549/Break_the_Card_:_Clock_of_Omens?pg=1 Winner : Dknowle's "The Myrs Go Marching".
Week 14 : Light of Sanction
This week's card was Light of Sanction : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29607219/Break_the_Card_:_Light_of_Sanction?pg=1 Winner : Zauzich's "Divine Plague".
Week 15 : Assemble the Legion
This week's card was Assemble the Legion : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29662307/Break_the_Card_:_Assemble_the_Legion Winner : JBTM's "Some Assembly Required".
Week 16 : High Tide
This week's cards were High Tide and/or Bubbling Muck : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29760427/Break_the_Card_:_High_Tide Winner : Mown's "Puppet Strings".
Week 17 : Illusionist's Bracers
This week's card was Illusionist's Bracers : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29776943/Break_the_Card_:_Illusionistss_Bracers Winner : Enigma256's "Tezzeret's Bracers"
Week 18 : Savor the Moment
This week's card was Savor the Moment : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29787235/Break_the_Card_:_Savor_the_Moment Winner : POSValkir's "A Savory Filibuster!"
Week 19 : Grinning Ignus
This week's card was Grinning Ignus : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29795547/Break_the_Card_:_Grinning_Ignus Winner : dknowle's "Luren' and Laughin'".
Week 20 : Transcendence
This week's card was Transcendence : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29806481/Break_the_Card_:_Transcendence Winners : Mown's "Transcending Timing Restrictions" and Dknowle's "Blinded by Greed", tied for the win.
Week 21 : Mortus Strider
This week's card was Mortus Strider : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29818471/Break_the_Card_:_Mortus_Strider Winner : SimonGlume's "Mortus Head".
Week 22 : High Priest of Penance
This week's card was High Priest of Penance : http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29917231/Break_the_Card_High_Priest_of_Penance Winners : JBTM's "Two Clerics and a Goblin walk into a (Bom)bar(dment)..." and POSValkir1's "Choke Their Rivers with Our Dead!".
Week 23 : False Cure
This week's card was False Cure :http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29964239/Break_the_Card_:_False_Cure Winner : Dknowle's "When Hippos Fly".

Week 24 : Akroan Horse

This week's card was Akroan Horse : http://community.wizards.com/forum/cards-and-combos/threads/4024821.

Winner : Dknowle's "Indian Giver".

Week 25 : Leylines

This week saw multiple cards being in the contest : all of the Leylines! http://community.wizards.com/forum/cards-and-combos/threads/4067621

Winner : POSValkir1's "Laying the Battle Lines".

abought the no reason for walking thing, whats jaces reason, or chandras, or tibalt for that matter, too.



Chandra accidentally set off a fire that led soldiers to her village, causing them to lock the entire town in their houses as they burnt down around them.
Chandra planeswalks in a combiantion of trying to escape her past and trying to master her
Jace basically lives on Ravnica, but he was searching for a place where his gifts wouldn't lead him to be ostracized and where he could live comfortably.
Tibalt... escaped from inquisitors. and truthfully He actually hasn't GONE anywhere yet.

Kaalia, meanwhile, has a conflict ON Alara. Meaning her character arc doesn't need to travel anywhere for it to be resolved.
Shenanigans, good sir!

Tamiyo writes the Planeswalker Guides.
A Spanish demon bear stalks Keeper and thirsts for his blood with every spelling or grammatical error.
You and BeastEngine are locked in an eternal duel for the soul of the universe.

We're all about the Rule of Cool around here. >:U

Edit: It occurs to me that none of that applies to Magic's canon.
Carry on.



Exactly. There is shenanigans, and then there is canon.
Canon is srs bsns.
ಠ_ಠ
following todays uncharted realms, about kaalia the vast, I think shes to powerfull (in her flavor) to be just a meer mortal. so how abought her as a planes walker:



If Kaalia was going to be a Planeswalker, then her spark should have activated when her family died since it was (probably) the most tramatic experience in her life. Since it didn't we cn assume one of 2 things. Either Kaalia doesn't have the Planeswalker spark, or it's so hard for it to activate that it's probably not going to.

 
 
kaalia, the vast        
+2: ~ does 2 damage to target opponent, you gain 2 life, and target creature gets -2/-2 until the end of turn.
-2: take control of target permanent that shares a color with ~
-6: put an angel, demon, or dragon card from your hand onto the battlefeild.



The +2 might be overpowered since it's a strictly better version of Sorin's, I can't be sure though on a 3 color walker though.
The -2 seems really out of character for Kaalia (from the little bit I know about her character) and it's also not in color for red, white, or black. Well, I guess red gets temporary mind control and black has one mind control effect, but for the most part, it's out of color.
And then there's the ultimate that isn't an ultimate. Compare to the cheaper Kaalia of the Vast that's 2 cheaper and does the same thing every turn that this requires a build up for. For an ultimate, I would go with "-X: Search your library for an angel, demon, or dragon creature with a converted mana cost of X and put it onto the battlefield".

Personally, I would make the -2 "destroy target artifact" as a reference to her roots as the Stone Killer, but that may not be very synergetic with her other abilities.

I know this sounds like it should be in the you make the card section, but I wan't to get into her flavor, what is she doing know, has she killed neferox yet, or is she still trying, you tell me.



As far as I can tell, she hasn't even become Kaalia yet in the current timeline. Her card seems to be coming to us from a future with even more power creep than we currently have. Nobody's really clear on timeline right now, there seems to be a lot of conflicts that Uncharted Realms may clear up later, or just create new conflicts. Who knows anymore. I liked the story enough that little things like continuity don't matter to me.

Canon is srs bsns.
ಠ_ಠ


Remember when Tezzeret jammed crystalized dragon blood into his butt to become a super sayan?

THIS REALLY HAPPENED, FOLKS.

Canon is srs bsns.
ಠ_ಠ


Remember when Tezzeret jammed crystalized dragon blood into his butt to become a super sayan?

THIS REALLY HAPPENED, FOLKS.

Careful, with the memetic status of Test of Metal on these boards, people might actually find this credi--

Wait, come to think of it, did this actually happen? >_> 
Coming Soon to the Magic: Expanded Multiverse: FRAGMENTS: A Shards of Alara Anthology
(Click through to view the cover and announcement page)Want to get your work in the Expanded Multiverse? Come join the project! Oh, and check out my blog, Storming the Ivory Tower: making sense of academia, media, and culture twice weekly.

Canon is srs bsns.
ಠ_ಠ


Remember when Tezzeret jammed crystalized dragon blood into his butt to become a super sayan?

THIS REALLY HAPPENED, FOLKS.

Careful, with the memetic status of Test of Metal on these boards, people might actually find this credi--

Wait, come to think of it, did this actually happen? >_> 



Well, not in the butt.
He shanked that other boy in the butt and earned his name.

He just crushed up it up, held a lighter under the spoon, and shot it up... cut to his bloodstream and eye dilation.
GOD I wish I knew what movie that scene was from. The damn thing is parodied everywhere.
Plugging is better. You can fit more in your tuckus than you can in a vein.

139359831 wrote:
That is a lovely painting of Richard Garfield. It really brings out his feminine side.

Canon is srs bsns.
ಠ_ಠ


Remember when Tezzeret jammed crystalized dragon blood into his butt to become a super sayan?

THIS REALLY HAPPENED, FOLKS.

Careful, with the memetic status of Test of Metal on these boards, people might actually find this credi--

Wait, come to think of it, did this actually happen? >_> 



Well, not in the butt.
He shanked that other boy in the butt and earned his name.



Ya-huh!
He tested it on a muscle he didn't mind getting injured (his butt) before he did it for real!
This. A key to writing Planeswalkers is that you have to have a good reason for them to walk the planes.
 


I dunno, you'd think there'd be at least one person who becomes a planeswalker that just uses their power to go on snack runs and find cats to befriend. Might be kind of interesting to read about...

Zammm = Batman.

It's my sig in a box
58280208 wrote:
Everything is better when you read it in Bane's voice.
192334281 wrote:
Your human antics and desire to continue living have moved me. Just kidding. You cannot move me physically or emotionally. Wall humor.
57092228 wrote:
Copy effects work like a photocopy machine: you get a copy of the 'naked' card, NOT of what's on it.
56995928 wrote:
Funny story: InQuest Magazine (I think it was InQuest) had an oversized Chaos Orb which I totally rooked someone into allowing into a (non-sanctioned) game. I had a proxy card that was a Mountain with "Chaos Orb" written on it. When I played it, my opponent cried foul: Him: "WTF? a Proxy? no-one said anything about Proxies. Do you even own an actual Chaos Orb?" Me: "Yes, but I thought it would be better to use a Proxy." Him: "No way. If you're going to put a Chaos Orb in your deck you have to use your actual Chaos Orb." Me: "*Sigh*. Okay." I pulled out this huge Chaos Orb and placed it on the table. He tried to cry foul again but everyone else said he insisted I use my actual Chaos Orb and that was my actual Chaos Orb. I used it, flipped it and wiped most of his board. Unsurprisingly, that only worked once and only because everyone present thought it was hilarious.
My DM on Battleminds:
no, see i can kill defenders, but 8 consecutive crits on a battlemind, eh walk it off.
144543765 wrote:
195392035 wrote:
Hi guys! So, I'm a sort of returning player to Magic. I say sort of because as a child I had two main TCG's I liked. Yu-Gi-Oh, and Pokemon. Some of my friends branched off in to Magic, and I bought two pre-made decks just to kind of fit in. Like I said, Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon were what I really knew how to play. I have a extensive knowledge of deck building in those two TCG's. However, as far as Magic is concerned, I only ever used those two pre made decks. I know how the game is played, and I know general things, but now I want to get in the game for real. I want to begin playing it as a regular. My question is, are all cards ever released from the time of the inception of this game until present day fair game in a deck? Or are there special rules? Are some cards forbidden or restricted? Thanks guys, and I will gladly accept ANY help lol.
I have the same problem with women.
117639611 wrote:
198869283 wrote:
Oh I have a standing rule. If someone plays a Planeswalker I concede the game. I refuse to play with or against people who play Planeswalkers. They really did ruin the game.
A turn two Tibalt win?! Wicked... Betcha don't see that everyday.

The Pony Co. 

Is this my new ego sig? Yes it is, other Barry
57461258 wrote:
And that's why you should never, ever call RP Jesus on being a troll, because then everyone else playing along gets outed, too, and the thread goes back to being boring.
57461258 wrote:
See, this is why RPJesus should be in charge of the storyline. The novel line would never have been cancelled if he had been running the show. Specifically the Slobad and Geth's Head talkshow he just described.
57461258 wrote:
Not only was that an obligatory joke, it was an on-topic post that still managed to be off-topic due to thread derailment. RP Jesus does it again folks.
92481331 wrote:
I think I'm gonna' start praying to Jesus... That's right, RPJesus, I'm gonna' be praying to you, right now. O' Jesus Please continue to make my time here on the forums fun and cause me to chuckle. Amen.
92481331 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
It was wonderful. Us Johnnies had a field day. That Timmy with the Grizzly bears would actually have to think about swinging into your Mogg Fanatic, giving you time to set up your silly combo. Nowadays it's all DERPSWING! with thier blue jeans and their MP3 players and their EM EM OH AR PEE JEES and their "Dewmocracy" and their children's card games and their Jersey Shores and their Tattooed Tenaged Vampire Hunters from Beverly Hills
Seriously, that was amazing. I laughed my *ss off. Made my day, and I just woke up.
[quote=ArtVenn You're still one of my favorite people... just sayin'.[/quote]
56756068 wrote:
56786788 wrote:
.....would it be a bit blasphemous if I said, "PRAYSE RPJAYSUS!" like an Evangelical preacher?
Perhaps, but who doesn't like to blaspheme every now and again? Especially when Mr. RPJesus is completely right.
56756068 wrote:
I don't say this often, but ... LOL
57526128 wrote:
You... You... Evil something... I actualy made the damn char once I saw the poster... Now you made me see it again and I gained resolve to put it into my campaign. Shell be high standing oficial of Cyrix order. Uterly mad and only slightly evil. And it'll be bad. Evil even. And ill blame you and Lizard for it :P.
57042968 wrote:
111809331 wrote:
I'm trying to work out if you're being sarcastic here. ...
Am going to stop you right there... it's RPJesus... he's always sarcastic
58335208 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
112114441 wrote:
we can only hope it gets the jace treatment...it could have at least been legendary
So that even the decks that don't run it run it to deal with it? Isn't that like the definition of format warping?
I lol'd.
56287226 wrote:
98088088 wrote:
Uktabi Orangutan What the heck's going on with those monkeys?
The most common answer is that they are what RPJesus would call "[Debutantes avert your eyes]ing."
56965458 wrote:
Show
57461258 wrote:
116498949 wrote:
I’ve removed content from this thread because off-topic discussions are a violation of the Code of Conduct. You can review the Code here: www.wizards.com/Company/About.aspx?x=wz_... Please keep your posts polite, on-topic, and refrain from making personal attacks. You are welcome to disagree with one another but please do so respectfully and constructively. If you wish to report a post for Code of Conduct violation, click on the “Report Post” button above the post and this will submit your report to the moderators on duty.
...Am I the only one that thinks this is reaching the point of downright Kafkaesque insanity?
I condone the use of the word Kafkaesque. However, I'm presentely ambivalent. I mean, that can't be serious, right? We're April 1st, right? They didn't mod RPJesus for off-topic discussion when the WHOLE THREAD IS OFF-TOPIC, right? Right.
57545908 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
Save or die. If you disagree with this, you're wrong (Not because of any points or arguements that have been made, but I just rolled a d20 for you and got a 1, so you lose).
58397368 wrote:
58222628 wrote:
This just won the argument, AFAIC.
That's just awesome.
57471038 wrote:
57718868 wrote:
HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THE BEAR PRODUCING WORDS OF WILDING?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!
That's what RPJesus tends to do. That's why I don't think he's a real person, but some Magic Card Archive Server sort of machine, that is programmed to react to other posters' comments with obscure cards that do in fact exist, but somehow missed by even the most experienced Magic players. And then come up with strange combos with said cards. All of that is impossible for a normal human to do given the amount of time he does it and how often he does it. He/It got me with Light of Sanction, which prompted me to go to RQ&A to try and find if it was even possible to do combat damage to a creature I control (in light that Mark of Asylum exists).
71235715 wrote:
+10
100176878 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
57078538 wrote:
heaven or hell.
Round 1. Lets rock.
GG quotes! RPJesus just made this thread win!
56906968 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
143359585 wrote:
Blue players get all the overpowerered cards like JTMS. I think it's time that wizards gave something to people who remember what magic is really about: creatures.
Initially yes, Wizards was married to blue. However, about a decade ago they had a nasty divorce, and a few years after that they began courting the attention of Green. Then in Worldwake they had a nasty affair with their ex, but as of Innistrad, things seem to have gotten back on track, and Wizards has even proposed.
You are my favorite. Yes you. And moments like this make it so. Thank you RPJesus for just being you.
On what flavor text fits me:
57307308 wrote:
Surely RPJesus gets Niv-Mizzet, Dracogenius?
56874518 wrote:
First: I STILL can't take you seriously with that avatar. And I can take RPJesus seriously, so that's saying something.
121689989 wrote:
I'd offer you a cookie for making me laugh but it has an Upkeep Cost that has been known to cause people to quit eating.
56267956 wrote:
I <3 you loads
57400888 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
"AINT NO LAWS IN THE SKY MOTHER****." - Agrus Kos, Wojek Veteran
10/10. Amazing.
This. A key to writing Planeswalkers is that you have to have a good reason for them to walk the planes.
 


I dunno, you'd think there'd be at least one person who becomes a planeswalker that just uses their power to go on snack runs and find cats to befriend. Might be kind of interesting to read about...



Except that Kaalia actually has a reason NOT to planeswalk. She's fairly grounded to her world by her quest for revenge. It would be pointless to make a walker out of somebody who's story is contained within their own plane.
This. A key to writing Planeswalkers is that you have to have a good reason for them to walk the planes.
 


I dunno, you'd think there'd be at least one person who becomes a planeswalker that just uses their power to go on snack runs and find cats to befriend. Might be kind of interesting to read about...



Except that Kaalia actually has a reason NOT to planeswalk. She's fairly grounded to her world by her quest for revenge. It would be pointless to make a walker out of somebody who's story is contained within their own plane.


I didn't mean Kaalia, I'm just saying some guy. You'd think there'd be at least one walker who completely lacks any real motivation to planeswalk.

Zammm = Batman.

It's my sig in a box
58280208 wrote:
Everything is better when you read it in Bane's voice.
192334281 wrote:
Your human antics and desire to continue living have moved me. Just kidding. You cannot move me physically or emotionally. Wall humor.
57092228 wrote:
Copy effects work like a photocopy machine: you get a copy of the 'naked' card, NOT of what's on it.
56995928 wrote:
Funny story: InQuest Magazine (I think it was InQuest) had an oversized Chaos Orb which I totally rooked someone into allowing into a (non-sanctioned) game. I had a proxy card that was a Mountain with "Chaos Orb" written on it. When I played it, my opponent cried foul: Him: "WTF? a Proxy? no-one said anything about Proxies. Do you even own an actual Chaos Orb?" Me: "Yes, but I thought it would be better to use a Proxy." Him: "No way. If you're going to put a Chaos Orb in your deck you have to use your actual Chaos Orb." Me: "*Sigh*. Okay." I pulled out this huge Chaos Orb and placed it on the table. He tried to cry foul again but everyone else said he insisted I use my actual Chaos Orb and that was my actual Chaos Orb. I used it, flipped it and wiped most of his board. Unsurprisingly, that only worked once and only because everyone present thought it was hilarious.
My DM on Battleminds:
no, see i can kill defenders, but 8 consecutive crits on a battlemind, eh walk it off.
144543765 wrote:
195392035 wrote:
Hi guys! So, I'm a sort of returning player to Magic. I say sort of because as a child I had two main TCG's I liked. Yu-Gi-Oh, and Pokemon. Some of my friends branched off in to Magic, and I bought two pre-made decks just to kind of fit in. Like I said, Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon were what I really knew how to play. I have a extensive knowledge of deck building in those two TCG's. However, as far as Magic is concerned, I only ever used those two pre made decks. I know how the game is played, and I know general things, but now I want to get in the game for real. I want to begin playing it as a regular. My question is, are all cards ever released from the time of the inception of this game until present day fair game in a deck? Or are there special rules? Are some cards forbidden or restricted? Thanks guys, and I will gladly accept ANY help lol.
I have the same problem with women.
117639611 wrote:
198869283 wrote:
Oh I have a standing rule. If someone plays a Planeswalker I concede the game. I refuse to play with or against people who play Planeswalkers. They really did ruin the game.
A turn two Tibalt win?! Wicked... Betcha don't see that everyday.

The Pony Co. 

Is this my new ego sig? Yes it is, other Barry
57461258 wrote:
And that's why you should never, ever call RP Jesus on being a troll, because then everyone else playing along gets outed, too, and the thread goes back to being boring.
57461258 wrote:
See, this is why RPJesus should be in charge of the storyline. The novel line would never have been cancelled if he had been running the show. Specifically the Slobad and Geth's Head talkshow he just described.
57461258 wrote:
Not only was that an obligatory joke, it was an on-topic post that still managed to be off-topic due to thread derailment. RP Jesus does it again folks.
92481331 wrote:
I think I'm gonna' start praying to Jesus... That's right, RPJesus, I'm gonna' be praying to you, right now. O' Jesus Please continue to make my time here on the forums fun and cause me to chuckle. Amen.
92481331 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
It was wonderful. Us Johnnies had a field day. That Timmy with the Grizzly bears would actually have to think about swinging into your Mogg Fanatic, giving you time to set up your silly combo. Nowadays it's all DERPSWING! with thier blue jeans and their MP3 players and their EM EM OH AR PEE JEES and their "Dewmocracy" and their children's card games and their Jersey Shores and their Tattooed Tenaged Vampire Hunters from Beverly Hills
Seriously, that was amazing. I laughed my *ss off. Made my day, and I just woke up.
[quote=ArtVenn You're still one of my favorite people... just sayin'.[/quote]
56756068 wrote:
56786788 wrote:
.....would it be a bit blasphemous if I said, "PRAYSE RPJAYSUS!" like an Evangelical preacher?
Perhaps, but who doesn't like to blaspheme every now and again? Especially when Mr. RPJesus is completely right.
56756068 wrote:
I don't say this often, but ... LOL
57526128 wrote:
You... You... Evil something... I actualy made the damn char once I saw the poster... Now you made me see it again and I gained resolve to put it into my campaign. Shell be high standing oficial of Cyrix order. Uterly mad and only slightly evil. And it'll be bad. Evil even. And ill blame you and Lizard for it :P.
57042968 wrote:
111809331 wrote:
I'm trying to work out if you're being sarcastic here. ...
Am going to stop you right there... it's RPJesus... he's always sarcastic
58335208 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
112114441 wrote:
we can only hope it gets the jace treatment...it could have at least been legendary
So that even the decks that don't run it run it to deal with it? Isn't that like the definition of format warping?
I lol'd.
56287226 wrote:
98088088 wrote:
Uktabi Orangutan What the heck's going on with those monkeys?
The most common answer is that they are what RPJesus would call "[Debutantes avert your eyes]ing."
56965458 wrote:
Show
57461258 wrote:
116498949 wrote:
I’ve removed content from this thread because off-topic discussions are a violation of the Code of Conduct. You can review the Code here: www.wizards.com/Company/About.aspx?x=wz_... Please keep your posts polite, on-topic, and refrain from making personal attacks. You are welcome to disagree with one another but please do so respectfully and constructively. If you wish to report a post for Code of Conduct violation, click on the “Report Post” button above the post and this will submit your report to the moderators on duty.
...Am I the only one that thinks this is reaching the point of downright Kafkaesque insanity?
I condone the use of the word Kafkaesque. However, I'm presentely ambivalent. I mean, that can't be serious, right? We're April 1st, right? They didn't mod RPJesus for off-topic discussion when the WHOLE THREAD IS OFF-TOPIC, right? Right.
57545908 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
Save or die. If you disagree with this, you're wrong (Not because of any points or arguements that have been made, but I just rolled a d20 for you and got a 1, so you lose).
58397368 wrote:
58222628 wrote:
This just won the argument, AFAIC.
That's just awesome.
57471038 wrote:
57718868 wrote:
HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THE BEAR PRODUCING WORDS OF WILDING?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!
That's what RPJesus tends to do. That's why I don't think he's a real person, but some Magic Card Archive Server sort of machine, that is programmed to react to other posters' comments with obscure cards that do in fact exist, but somehow missed by even the most experienced Magic players. And then come up with strange combos with said cards. All of that is impossible for a normal human to do given the amount of time he does it and how often he does it. He/It got me with Light of Sanction, which prompted me to go to RQ&A to try and find if it was even possible to do combat damage to a creature I control (in light that Mark of Asylum exists).
71235715 wrote:
+10
100176878 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
57078538 wrote:
heaven or hell.
Round 1. Lets rock.
GG quotes! RPJesus just made this thread win!
56906968 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
143359585 wrote:
Blue players get all the overpowerered cards like JTMS. I think it's time that wizards gave something to people who remember what magic is really about: creatures.
Initially yes, Wizards was married to blue. However, about a decade ago they had a nasty divorce, and a few years after that they began courting the attention of Green. Then in Worldwake they had a nasty affair with their ex, but as of Innistrad, things seem to have gotten back on track, and Wizards has even proposed.
You are my favorite. Yes you. And moments like this make it so. Thank you RPJesus for just being you.
On what flavor text fits me:
57307308 wrote:
Surely RPJesus gets Niv-Mizzet, Dracogenius?
56874518 wrote:
First: I STILL can't take you seriously with that avatar. And I can take RPJesus seriously, so that's saying something.
121689989 wrote:
I'd offer you a cookie for making me laugh but it has an Upkeep Cost that has been known to cause people to quit eating.
56267956 wrote:
I <3 you loads
57400888 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
"AINT NO LAWS IN THE SKY MOTHER****." - Agrus Kos, Wojek Veteran
10/10. Amazing.
I didn't mean Kaalia, I'm just saying some guy. You'd think there'd be at least one walker who completely lacks any real motivation to planeswalk.



To be fair, Elspeth did.
And then war were declared.
I didn't mean Kaalia, I'm just saying some guy. You'd think there'd be at least one walker who completely lacks any real motivation to planeswalk.



I think closest you will get is Tamiyo, who is a gigantic tourist.
I didn't mean Kaalia, I'm just saying some guy. You'd think there'd be at least one walker who completely lacks any real motivation to planeswalk.



I think closest you will get is Tamiyo, who is a gigantic tourist.



So is Tibalt, but for horrifically different reasons.
Also, it's Kaalia OF the vast. Kaalia the vast just makes her sound really, really fat (planet sized fat actually). One word makes a huge difference.
So is Tibalt, but for horrifically different reasons.



In fairness, that isn't exactly true. He's on his home plane during his only appearance...
And in equality, he's freshly ascendant too.
So is Tibalt, but for horrifically different reasons.



In fairness, that isn't exactly true. He's on his home plane during his only appearance...
And in equality, he's freshly ascendant too.



Well, I'm basing this chiefly on this little blurb;

"In the moment, Tibalt's planeswalker spark ignited and flung him across the Mulitverse, away from the inquisitors' blades. Now half-human, half-devil, Tibalt is free to practice his "art" on countless planes."

So, the planeswalkers' reasons for planeswalking:

Ajani: Revenge.
Jace: Head of a (small) interplanar organization.
Liliana: Oh dear God I didn't think I'd actually die when I signed that contract giving those demons my soul!
Chandra: Wants to escape her past. Also, she likes treasures.
Garruk: Wants to be as faar from people as possible. Now, revenge.
Elspeth: No motivation, until the Conflux. Now she has a cause to end horror.
Tezzeret: Wants the power to be free of Bolas.
Sarkhan: Wants to find the dragon to be his god. (And now that he has, serving that god.)
Nicol Bolas: Wants to be immortal again.
Sorin: Preserves the balance of good and evil.
Nissa: Manifest destiny, and destroying the Eldrazi.
Gideon: Find allies to destroy the Eldrazi.
Koth: Find allies to destroy the Phyrexians.
Venser: To fight the Phyrexians. Is kinda dead now, though.
Karn: Cleaning up the oil he's been peeing all over the multiverse since his creation.
Tamiyo: Knowledge.
Tibalt: Escape the inquisitors.

139359831 wrote:
Clever deduction Watson! Maybe you can explain why Supergirl is trying to kill me.
---- Autocard is your friend. Lightning Bolt = Lightning Bolt

So, the planeswalkers' reasons for planeswalking:

Ajani: Revenge.


More complicated than that, actually. He seems to be using his powers, among other things, to resolve conflicts on the newly merged Alara, to check up on friends on other planes, and to basically just be a really good guy across Dominia. I like Ajani. He's kind of a swell guy these days. Anyway, while he's very tied to Alara, he seems to be using his status as a 'walker to help his plane in ways others could not.
Garruk: Wants to be as faar from people as possible. Now, revenge.

Also, hunting the greatest prey of Dominia.
Sorin: Preserves the balance of good and evil.

This sort of makes sense based on his two appearences but this is less a noble calling and more a nobleman looking after his estates, which have fallen into disrepair while he was off boozing it up and spawning illegitimate heirs on the Continent. He seems to be interested in basically just doing whatever the hell he wants across the Multiverse.
Tibalt: Escape the inquisitors.


And, if we're lucky, hook up with Nin, make beautiful agony together. Possibly to a soundtrack by NIN for extra PUNnishment. Ahaha. Hah. I like Tibalt. He makes people hurt in creative ways. As a punster, I can certainly appreciate that.
Coming Soon to the Magic: Expanded Multiverse: FRAGMENTS: A Shards of Alara Anthology
(Click through to view the cover and announcement page)Want to get your work in the Expanded Multiverse? Come join the project! Oh, and check out my blog, Storming the Ivory Tower: making sense of academia, media, and culture twice weekly.
Tibalt: Escape the inquisitors.

And, if we're lucky, hook up with Nin, make beautiful agony together. Possibly to a soundtrack by NIN for extra PUNnishment. Ahaha. Hah. I like Tibalt. He makes people hurt in creative ways. As a punster, I can certainly appreciate that.

Let the Tibalt/Nin shipping begin!

@mikemearls The office is basically empty this week, which opens up all sorts of possibilities for low shenanigans

@mikemearls In essence, all those arguments I lost are being unlost. Won, if you will. We're doing it MY way, baby.

@biotech66 aren't you the boss anyway? isn't "DO IT OR I FIRE YOU!" still an option?

@mikemearls I think Perkins would throat punch me if I ever tried that. And I'd give him a glowing quarterly review for it.

Barrinellos, you seem to excel at writing absolutely HORRIFYING shipping scenarios between characters?

Can you write a passage spoofing Lady and the Tramp between Nin and Tibalt, except instead of spaghetti, it's some person's intestines.
Barrinellos, you seem to excel at writing absolutely HORRIFYING shipping scenarios between characters?

Can you write a passage spoofing Lady and the Tramp between Nin and Tibalt, except instead of spaghetti, it's some still living person's intestines.

Fixed that for you.

@mikemearls The office is basically empty this week, which opens up all sorts of possibilities for low shenanigans

@mikemearls In essence, all those arguments I lost are being unlost. Won, if you will. We're doing it MY way, baby.

@biotech66 aren't you the boss anyway? isn't "DO IT OR I FIRE YOU!" still an option?

@mikemearls I think Perkins would throat punch me if I ever tried that. And I'd give him a glowing quarterly review for it.

I thought that was implied.
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