A Hairless Thoctar contest: Alt Win Cons

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IT'S ANOTHER CONTEST, WEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I got a lot of input about my last contest, mostly about how poopy the voting system is, and I'm trying to apply everything I learn in any given contest to each further contest, but let me explain the rules first.

Design an alternate win condition card.

Here's the list of all of them.

Barren Glory
Battle of Wits
Kind of sort of Blightsteel Colossus
Celestial Convergence
Chance Encounter
Coalition Victory
Darksteel Reactor
Kind of not really Divine Intervention
Door to Nothingness
Epic Struggle
Felidar Sovereign
Helix Pinnacle
Laboratory Maniac
Mayael's Aria
Mortal Combat
Near-Death Experience
Test of Endurance
Phage the Untouchable
(Please let me know if I somehow missed any)

One of the greatest criticisms I got about the last contest is that with a democratic vote, each player would often get no imput of how they did, just a vote if they got lucky, so here's how I plan to solve this: there will be TWO votes.

First, there will be the JUDGE'S VOTE, the Judge being me. I will go over each entry I get, and tell you what I think about them, and ultimately pick my top three.

Secondly, I will do another PLAYER'S VOTE. Like last time, you, the forum members will be given one vote each, and the winner will be the entrant that gets the most votes. YOU ARE HEAVILY ENCOURAGE TO GIVE CRITICISM. Letting the contestants know what you did or did not like about their entries.

First place gets +30 BRAGGING RIGHTS, Second +20, Third +10, and everyone else who got at least one vote +1.

The primary method I plan to cast the JUDGE'S VOTE is by how distinctive your entry is. Is it a weird card? Is it mechanically distinctive from "normal" Magic or various other alt win cons? You're not going to impress me by putting Chance Encounter on an artifact, or Battle of Wits on a creature.

Each person gets ONE ENTRY. You are allowed to change your entry any time before the deadline.
You are allowed ONE VOTE. You do not have to enter the contest to vote.

The contest will last for FOURTY EIGHT HOURS, ending at NINE O CLOCK PM, EASTERN STANDARD TIME on THURSDAY, JULY 19TH.

Good luck!!!
MY ENTRY.

Power of Persuasion.

Enchantment
Rare
At the beginning of your end step, if each opponent controls a permanent you own, you win the game.
Broken with things like Jinxed Idol.

Obsesive Compulsion -
Enchantment
When you cast Obsessive Compulsion, draw a card.
At the beginning of your upkeep, if for each permanent you control, you control an even number of permanents with that name, you win the game.
No! Stop! That saproling is crooked! Straighten it up. And put it next to the other one! Symmetry, my friend!

(Yes, you need at least two of these to win.  Also I was seriously tempted to price it but this isn't an Un-card.)
Empire of Ages-
Enchantment
At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control 20 or more basic lands, you win the game.
It doesnt matter what happens to me, my kingdom will last for eternity, and for that I will be remembered for time immemorial

Ichor Foundry |
Artifact

~ enters the battlefield with an ichor counter on it.
Infect
, : Proliferate.
, , Remove 10 ichor counters from ~: ~ deals 10 damage to target player.


I'm no rules guru, but with your's, Sleet, "If you control an even number of permanents with any given name" seems wrong. I reads to me like an even number of permanents with any name, meaning if your have 7 lands, 3 creatures, 3 artifacts and an enchantment, you would win. Conversely, it could be read as An even number of permanent with any one name, meaning if you have two Islands, you win. I could be wrong, of course, but that's how it reads to me.

Here's a card that doesn't work, but I like the idea:

Victory Tempest -
Sorcery
You win 1/10th of the game.
Storm
I don't always win, but when I do, I like to win in small increments.

Shameless Self-Promotion

These are the MTG Fiction pieces I have written:

Planes of the Dual-Walkers
Allo's Fortnight
The Butcher's Cleaver
Dead Man 'Walking
Showdown
Pariah
Deals and Devils
The Tears of the Djinn
Cromat Comes
Kiss of the Shorecerers
Numerous poems in The Poetry Plane
Magic: The Musical

Please read and comment! I love hearing people's thoughts and reactions to my work!

Nirvana | 2WW

Enchantment

At the beginning of your upkeep, put a charge counter on ~. Whenever you cast a spell or a creature you control attacks or blocks, remove all charge counters from ~.

At the beginning of your upkeep, if ~ has 3 or more charge counters on it, you win the game.

The fruits of mortal glory shall tempt you, but in the end the only light to survive the darkness is in you alone. Nothing else matters.
Trust the Void | :BM::BM:
Enchantment
Trust the Void's controller cannot look at it.
Each time a creature you control dies or is exiled, put a void counter on ~.
When you would lose the game and there are 10 or more void counters on ~, you win the game insted.
During your 10th upkeep after you played Trust the Void, you lose the game.
"Beyond the dark there's still spark,
a life within eternity.
And blessed be you, those with the mark.
Those without, bound to the void, irreversibly.

P.S. You forgot The Cheese Stands Alone.
My Philosophies
1: Magic is awesome. 2: Haters gunna hate. And when they do, use your shotgun. 3: One Direction is quite possibly the most amazing thing ever. 4: I like boys. Got a problem? Then you're an idiot. 5: I'm better than you. 6: I am a vampire. 7: PONIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! [i](No, I'm not a brony. I like Actual ponies. The ones that are young horses?
First thing you should know, I'm a permanent newb. Jace has amazing hair! I am Black/Green
I am Black/Green
Take The Magic Dual Colour Test - Beta today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.
My People Tallies
MagicPablo666: 1 ChaosLight: 1
Essense of Death
Creature -> Incarnation
Deathtouch
Whenever Essense of Death deals combat damage to a player, that player loses the game.
0/0
Fatal Fortune
Sorcery
Flip a coin.  If you win the flip, Fatal Fortune deals 3 damage to target creature or player.  Repeat this process four more times.  If you win five coin flips this way, you win the game.

Challenge & Contest Winners
[24 Hour Challenge] Why is the rum always gone? Winner- Sebanovich
Show
Vomit Elemental :B: Creature - Elemental Tap an untapped creature you control: Vomit Elemental gets +2/+2 until end of turn. Other creatures you control don't untap during your untap step. "Drink and feed me, my followers!" 1/1
Signature
Twist of Fate
Instant
Until end of turn, if you would lose the game, you win the game instead.
Until end of turn, if an opponent would win the game, that player loses the game instead.

"You may choose to believe that Destiny itself has been manipulated - but the truth is: One cannot manipulate Destiny, the Fates have conspired toward this moment since the first, and since the day of your birth, you were doomed to this death."


Alt. Flavor Text: “Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.” - Lemony Snicket (I don't feel justified using another man's words as Flavor unless they were written at least, um, 75 years ago, but believe me - this tempted me quite a bit.)

139359831 wrote:
That is a lovely painting of Richard Garfield. It really brings out his feminine side.
Pyrrhic Victory
Enchantment
If all players are dealt damage that would bring them to 0 or less life, instead you win the game.
Sometimes the funeral fires burn for one alone.
Guiding Faith --
Enchantment (R)

If you would lose the game, each player chooses a permanent you control at random.
If each player chose the same permanent, you win the game instead.
Official archnemesis of magicpablo666 Host of Reactionary Proud owner of "The Terrible Cube" The altimis Archive I'm baking lands!!! Beginner of GROMA
Notable Quotables:
58060728 wrote:
I carefully examine the walls of the room in a determined effort to not follow the GMs plot.
Nirvana | 2WW

Enchantment

At the beginning of your upkeep, put a charge counter on ~. Whenever you cast a spell or a creature you control attacks or blocks, remove all charge counters from ~.

At the beginning of your upkeep, if ~ has 3 or more charge counters on it, you win the game.

The fruits of mortal glory shall tempt you, but in the end the only light to survive the darkness is in you alone. Nothing else matters.


o_O

I'm going to be that guy and make the card that no one likes:

Drawn Out Victory
Enchantment
If a source would deal damage to a player, prevent 2 of that damage
If you would draw the game, you win the game instead.
"Boring the enemy to death can sometimes be even better than just killing them"

White is the most evil color in Magic.

Also, I'm not sure if my card works, the plan is to make the game time-out and replace the draw with a win.

Actually screw that, I'm gonna make a real card.

Omnipresence
Enchantment
At the beginning of your upkeep, if there's a card named Omnipresence in your graveyard, reveal you hand. Then if there's a card named Omnipresence in your hand, search your library for a card named Omnipresence and reveal it. If you do, you win the game.
"Being everywhere is the first step towards knowing everything."

IMAGE(http://i1.minus.com/jbcBXM4z66fMtK.jpg)

192884403 wrote:
surely one can't say complex conditional passive language is bad grammar ?
Grey Goo
Artifact (M)
: Tap target permanent. It becomes a copy of Grey Goo.
At the beginning of your upkeep, if all permanents you control are named Grey Goo, you win the game.
Created for battle, it waged war against the entire plane - and won.
Dreaming Theologian

Creature-Human
If Dreaming Theologian is a white 4/4 Angel with flying and vigilance, you win the game.
"Grace is obtainable to mortals, I think. I believe in a world that is holy. I believe that a man can conquer sin." 
1/1 
Grey Goo
Artifact (M)
: Tap target permanent. It becomes a copy of Grey Goo.
At the beginning of your upkeep, if all permanents you control are named Grey Goo, you win the game.
Created for battle, it waged war against the entire plane - and won.


This card is amazing, I love it. It gets hosed pretty hard by Forbidden Orchard, which makes me love it even more. Edit: I did not realize your goo-ified permanents will be able to start converting too!

Dreaming Theologian

Creature-Human
If Dreaming Theologian is a white 4/4 Angel with flying and vigilance, you win the game.
"Grace is obtainable to mortals, I think. I believe in a world that is holy. I believe that a man can conquer sin." 
1/1 


Love this.
Call to Serve + Bladed Bracers + Banners Raised is the first way to win with this that I can think. There's probably a much easier way to do it though..

IMAGE(http://i1.minus.com/jbcBXM4z66fMtK.jpg)

192884403 wrote:
surely one can't say complex conditional passive language is bad grammar ?
I'll submit I card I made a few days ago.

Walking Paradox
Creature - Illusion
When you control no creatures, you win the game.
If you ask an unanswerable question, don't be surprised if you don't like the reply.
2/4
Nothing really matters.
Anyone can see.
Hell's Cauldron

Artifact

, Sacrifice a Bat, a Frog, a Lizard, an Insect and a Worm: Target player loses the game.

"As the final ingredient is added, the potion turns a sickly fire-black, and Death's head itself seems to rise from its viscous surface."
–Mazden,
The Darkness of the Brew

Embrace imagination.

Lord of YMtC | Ten Rounds Contest Winner

Solphos – A fan set with a 'combo matters' theme

Fool's Gold – The second set of the Solphos block

Inverse Perspective --
Enchantment
When your life total is -20 or less, you win the game.
"In the afterlife, all your earthly miseries will be transformed into joy.  What purpose, then, is it to seek pleasure while still alive?" -- Daerrk, ferryman


Originally it was going to invert all the usual ways of losing the game, so if all your cards were in your library, you would win too. How neat would that be?
Lucky7 -
Enchantment
At the beginning of your turn, if you control exactly seven creatures, seven lands and has seven cards in your hand. You win the game.
"Jackpot."

Going with this one.

Endure the Torture -
Sorcery
Epic
You lose 10 life. Then, put a Tortured counter on you.
At the end of this turn, if you have five or more Tortured counter on you, you win the game. 
Show
I am Red/White
I am Red/White
Take The Magic Dual Colour Test - Beta today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.
I'm both chaotic and orderly. I value my own principles, and am willing to go to extreme lengths to enforce them, often trampling on the very same principles in the process. At best, I'm heroic and principled; at worst, I'm hypocritical and disorderly.
Rite of Carnage
Enchantment
At the beginning of each end step, if exactly seven creatures an opponent controls died this turn, you win the game.
The Devil helps those who hurt others.
I'm no rules guru, but with your's, Sleet, "If you control an even number of permanents with any given name" seems wrong. I reads to me like an even number of permanents with any name, meaning if your have 7 lands, 3 creatures, 3 artifacts and an enchantment, you would win. Conversely, it could be read as An even number of permanent with any one name, meaning if you have two Islands, you win. I could be wrong, of course, but that's how it reads to me.

Here's a card that doesn't work, but I like the idea:

Victory Tempest -
Sorcery
You win 1/10th of the game.
Storm
I don't always win, but when I do, I like to win in small increments.



Your most interesting flavor text in the world had me laughing, well played.

My submission:

Krin, Son of the Giantslayers  
Legendary Creature - Human Soldier
Whenever ~ deals combat damage to a creature with power 5 or greater, put that many Battle counters on ~.
At the beginning of your upkeep, if ~ has 15 or more Battle counters on it, you win the game.
He was taught many lessons as a child.  "Go for the knees" was probably the most relevant one.
0/1
Unknown Gladiator

Creature--Human Warrior

During your upkeep or when a creature dies, put a +1/+1 counter on ~.

When ~ has twenty or more +1/+1 counters on it, you win the game. 1/1

He fights for his freedom. You watch for your entertainment.

On the flip side:

Moloch, the Abominable 

Creature--Demon

, Sacrifice a creature: Put two +1/+1 counters on ~. During your upkeep, if ~ has 6 or more +1/+1 counters on it, sacrifice a creature and put a +1/+1 on ~. If you do not, you lose the game. 6/6

"Thrice you have performed that deplorable rite! You are lost."
--Mikaeus, the Lunarch
139359831 wrote:
Clever deduction Watson! Maybe you can explain why Supergirl is trying to kill me.
---- Autocard is your friend. Lightning Bolt = Lightning Bolt
Sadomasochism 
Enchantment
: Target creature attacks you this turn if able.
Whenever a source an opponent controls deals damage to you, put a pain counter on Sadomasochism.
At the beginning of your upkeep, if Sadomasochism has seven or more pain counters, you win the game.

worship the horn
http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/28209491/Conch_Horn
I want to submit a second one.
Betrayal of Reality |
Enchantment
During your upkeep, you lose the game.
: Sacrifice Betrayer of Everything: All other players get a copy of Betrayer of Everything.

You can chose to reject it or something. I don't care.
My Philosophies
1: Magic is awesome. 2: Haters gunna hate. And when they do, use your shotgun. 3: One Direction is quite possibly the most amazing thing ever. 4: I like boys. Got a problem? Then you're an idiot. 5: I'm better than you. 6: I am a vampire. 7: PONIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! [i](No, I'm not a brony. I like Actual ponies. The ones that are young horses?
First thing you should know, I'm a permanent newb. Jace has amazing hair! I am Black/Green
I am Black/Green
Take The Magic Dual Colour Test - Beta today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.
My People Tallies
MagicPablo666: 1 ChaosLight: 1
Hmmmm intresting little contest:

Lost Idol
Legendary
Artifact
At the begining of your Upkeep if you control Lost Idol, Lost Crown, and Lost Coin you win the game.

: Lost Idol Becomes a 2/2 Artifact creature until end of turn.

Lost Crown
Legendary
 Artifact
At the begining of your Upkeep if you control Lost Idol, Lost Crown, and Lost Coin you win the game.

Equipped Creature gains +1/+1 and Protection from all Colors.

Equip

Lost Coin
Legendary
 Artifact
At the begining of your Upkeep if you control Lost Idol, Lost Crown, and Lost Coin you win the game.

: Flip a coin, If heads put a 3/3 colorless artifact golem creature into play. If tails Sacrifice an artifact.

 
Founding Footsetps |
Sorcery
Spend only mana produced by basic lands to cast ~.
You win the game.
"A large Empire has always best return to it's roots."
Redo
Enchantment
Whenever you would lose the game or an opponent would win the game, instead restart the game with ~ in exile.
I'm sorry sir, the house limit is three do-overs.

OK, not quite an alt win condition, but in the same vein.  If it really has to be an alt win condition...

Eater of Games
Creature -- Illusion
When ~ enters the battlefield, you lose the game.
When ~ leaves the battlefield, you win the game.
6/6


Just for the Lulz:
 
Giga Drill Break!!!    
Legendary Sorcery
Giga Drill Break deals 100 damage to target creature or player, regardless of all other spells or abilities.
And you thought that Emrakul was OP

Look it up if you don't get the reference.  


      
 
My novel, Mektar, Clash of Ideals, is now available for purchase! Just click this text. I have +30 bragging rights according to HairlessThoctar. Just saying.
Wander the Forever Teaching

Legendary creature -- Human Scholar Wizard

At the beginning of your upkeep, if an opponent has more cards in his or her hand than you, you may draw a card.

At the beginning of your end step, if you drew 8 or more cards this turn, flip Wander

\\\\

Wanderer's Legacy

Legendary Enchantment

Search your library for a blue instant, reveal it and put it into your hand. Shuffle your library afterwords.

At the beginning of your end step, you may reveal your hand to your opponent. If you have ten or more instants in your hand, you win the game. 
Dreaming Theologian

Creature-Human
If Dreaming Theologian is a white 4/4 Angel with flying and vigilance, you win the game.
"Grace is obtainable to mortals, I think. I believe in a world that is holy. I believe that a man can conquer sin." 
1/1 


Love this.
Call to Serve + Bladed Bracers + Banners Raised + Angelic Armaments is the first way to win with this that I can think. There's probably a much easier way to do it though..


This is an easier way.
My Philosophies
1: Magic is awesome. 2: Haters gunna hate. And when they do, use your shotgun. 3: One Direction is quite possibly the most amazing thing ever. 4: I like boys. Got a problem? Then you're an idiot. 5: I'm better than you. 6: I am a vampire. 7: PONIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! [i](No, I'm not a brony. I like Actual ponies. The ones that are young horses?
First thing you should know, I'm a permanent newb. Jace has amazing hair! I am Black/Green
I am Black/Green
Take The Magic Dual Colour Test - Beta today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.
My People Tallies
MagicPablo666: 1 ChaosLight: 1
I'm no rules guru, but with your's, Sleet, "If you control an even number of permanents with any given name" seems wrong. I reads to me like an even number of permanents with any name, meaning if your have 7 lands, 3 creatures, 3 artifacts and an enchantment, you would win. Conversely, it could be read as An even number of permanent with any one name, meaning if you have two Islands, you win. I could be wrong, of course, but that's how it reads to me.

Here's a card that doesn't work, but I like the idea:

Victory Tempest -
Sorcery
You win 1/10th of the game.
Storm
I don't always win, but when I do, I like to win in small increments.




I think the original wording is awesome (and gets the point across)... but if you wanted it to work per Magic "rules" (as they are now), I think this is how it would be worded (WARNING: It does lose a ton of awesomeness being  (more?) correctly worded...Enter at your own risk!):

Victory Tempest:

Victory Tempest --
Sorcery (X)

If this is the tenth Victory Tempest that you've had resolve this turn, you win the game.
Storm

=====xxxxx=====

I don't know 100% if that works, but maybe if I post this nine more times it will work 8^p
Official archnemesis of magicpablo666 Host of Reactionary Proud owner of "The Terrible Cube" The altimis Archive I'm baking lands!!! Beginner of GROMA
Notable Quotables:
58060728 wrote:
I carefully examine the walls of the room in a determined effort to not follow the GMs plot.
Just for the Lulz:
 
Giga Drill Break!!!    
Legendary Sorcery
Giga Drill Break deals 100 damage to target creature or player, regardless of all other spells or abilities.
And you thought that Emrakul was OP

Look it up if you don't get the reference.  


      
 



Hilarious, but how can something be a legendary sorcery? Granted, it's Gurren Lagann, so "making sense" isn't required.
139359831 wrote:
Clever deduction Watson! Maybe you can explain why Supergirl is trying to kill me.
---- Autocard is your friend. Lightning Bolt = Lightning Bolt
Primal Emissary
Creature - Elf Shaman
Whenever ~ deals exactly 6 damage, you win the game.
One day, her footsteps will turn into a stampede, her voice will echo a majestic roar, and the colors of nature will radiate within her eyes.
1/1

dno

Yxoque wrote:
This forum can't even ****ing self-destruct properly.

IMAGE(http://img.pokemondb.net/sprites/black-white/anim/normal/plusle.gif)

Primal Emissary
Creature - Elf Shaman
Whenever ~ deals exactly 6 damage, you win the game.
One day, her footsteps will turn into a stampede, her voice will echo a majestic roar, and the colors of nature will radiate within her eyes.
1/1

dno


not to be difficult, but: Ana Sanctuary; Beastmaster Ascension; Epic Proportions; Explosive Growth; Ogre's Cleaver; Screaming Fury; Stonewood Invocation; Sword of Kaldra; Tatsumasa, the Dragon's Fang; Thriss, Nantuko Primus; Titanic Ultimatum; Wildheart Invoker

i'm not saying anything that has a readily available combo is bad
but THAT many two-card combos that are game winner, and for combined low mana, and easily any color (except Titanic Ultimatum) is maybe too easy

that aside --- i like your design a lot; just not the "6" damage
I consider all of those acceptable.

Yxoque wrote:
This forum can't even ****ing self-destruct properly.

IMAGE(http://img.pokemondb.net/sprites/black-white/anim/normal/plusle.gif)

Truth
Creature - Incarnation
Shroud
Whenever ~ becomes the target of a spell or ability, you may win the game.
The impossible ideal
0/2
Rainbow Dawn
Legendary Enchantment

Spells you cast that are all colors cost less to cast.

Reveal a monocolored card of each color, a multicolored card, and a colorless card from your hand: You win the game.

 
I have found the secret of posting sigs! Kablooie's symbol Palette: 2U 
I consider all of those acceptable.


I'm just curious, I enjoy this design... but is it supposed to be damage to a player? I doubt it, but I just wanted to make sure I'm understanding it right.
Official archnemesis of magicpablo666 Host of Reactionary Proud owner of "The Terrible Cube" The altimis Archive I'm baking lands!!! Beginner of GROMA
Notable Quotables:
58060728 wrote:
I carefully examine the walls of the room in a determined effort to not follow the GMs plot.
Primal Emissary
Creature - Elf Shaman
Whenever ~ deals exactly 6 damage, you win the game.
One day, her footsteps will turn into a stampede, her voice will echo a majestic roar, and the colors of nature will radiate within her eyes.
1/1

dno


not to be difficult, but: Ana Sanctuary; Beastmaster Ascension; Epic Proportions; Explosive Growth; Ogre's Cleaver; Screaming Fury; Stonewood Invocation; Sword of Kaldra; Tatsumasa, the Dragon's Fang; Thriss, Nantuko Primus; Titanic Ultimatum; Wildheart Invoker

i'm not saying anything that has a readily available combo is bad
but THAT many two-card combos that are game winner, and for combined low mana, and easily any color (except Titanic Ultimatum) is maybe too easy

that aside --- i like your design a lot; just not the "6" damage


Why do all that, just use Giant Growth + Mutagenic Growth.

IMAGE(http://i1.minus.com/jbcBXM4z66fMtK.jpg)

192884403 wrote:
surely one can't say complex conditional passive language is bad grammar ?