My campaign, any suggestions?

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     ok, so this is how it starts. the world has 4 continants, two small and two large, in the southmost part of one of the eastern continents (a big one), is a country called Florwynn, a civilized place, but still has work to be done the Heroes start in a town, Dragon Hill where they find a dungeon they need to go to, in order to clear the bandits that live there.

     At the end of the dungeon, the players find a couple of people, performing a ritual on a mage, but by the time they finish the encounter, the mage becomes a lich, with a transparent, ghostly crown, and he dissappears after saying " The Lich King will rise! And througout the campaign, the influence of the king grows, and a cult rises, with different levels of rank, with Knights being somewhere near the top, and the King gains power, and recruits a member of each race, to be his inner circle. The heroes have to kill each member, one being more powerful than the last, ending with the lich king himself, after watching him kill Orcus the demon prince, and claiming his power and minions. Much more in between, but for now, thats my basic idea. and suggestions will be appreciated

   
 Thanks!
     -Cubby 
Good rough outline of the story. 

Two thoughts:

First of all, it is very important to build some motivation for the PC's. They need to be drawn into the story. Start with a little mystery, then show them a bad guy worth fighting and reward with gold. I suggest that the first part goes something like this.

_________

Dragon Hill has recently been attacked by Xorns. This is very strange because these type of monsters are only found deep in the Underdark/Khyber so something must have happened to set them loose.

First encounter: Wild xorns.

The PC's track the Xorns to Dragon Thorn mountain, where a landslide has unearthed a dungeon. It seems magic was involved in landslide, powerful magic caused the earth to open up.

Second encounter: Navigating the dungeon full of wild xorns and new magical traps. 

The PC's slay their way through the dungeon and find the Temple of an old earth cult dedicated to the safekeeping of evil powers from a distant past. 

Thrid encounter: Bandits

After slaying all the bandits the PC's find the Inner Sanctum where a ritual is being performed to free a lich. the PC's have to fight off powerful spirits that are unleashed while the cultist call forth the ancient lich.

Forth encounter: Skill Challenge. The PC's must fight cultist while evading, overcoming, besting the evil spirits floating around.

The PC's manage to overcome the cultist, but the ritual is still a success. The lich awakens and proclaims: "The Lich King will rise!" and dissapears. Depending on how well the PC's overcame the skill challenge there will be treasure left in the Inner Sanctum.
When they return to the city, everybody is slayen by the Lich and the PC's now must find allies among the dwindling population as the Lich grows stronger.

__________ 

Second of all, how about a twist endning.

Maybe the Lich was good all along, trying to make peace in Florwynn by uniting all the different parts of the land under one king. (Hero plot: www.imdb.com/title/tt0299977/)

Or something.

Just some thoughts. Hope it helps.
Thanks so much! im going to keep updating on the campaign, but this really helped!
 
 -Cubby
I can help you with some thoughts on mapping...



A simple world map will allow you to visualize what it all looks like.

 
The Citadel Megadungeon: http://yellowdingosappendix.blogspot.com.au/2012/08/the-citadel-mega-dungeon-now-with-room.html