Koridian's Kave --- kriticism invited

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I want to start collecting some of my random designs.
Below are just a collection of ones I can find quickly that I've posted over the last few days.
There are a couple I've made over the past few months that I'm going to try to hunt down (but don't have high hopes).
I'm going to add now and then if something comes up in another thread and I'm particularly proud of it, or just want to hold on to it.

Criticism welcome.
Thoughts welcome.


Young Vampire
Creature - Vampire
Whenever ~ deals combat damage, put a +1/+1 counter on it.
0/2

Bloodscent Vampire
Creature - Vampire
Bloodthirst 3 (If an opponent was dealt damage this turn, Bloodscent Vampire comes into play with 3 +1/+1 counters on it).
Some newborns do not awaken to their new life automatically--they must be called to it.
0/0

Undying Horror
Creature - Shade Horror
Haste, undying
: Undying Horror gets +1/+1 until end of turn.
: Undying Horror gets +1/+1 until end of turn.  Activate this ability only if Undying Horror has a +1/+1 counter on it.
0/1

Vanguard of Mist
Creature - Elemental
Creatures you control have hexproof.
Follow me, and your foes will never touch you.
1/1

Vanguard of Might
Creature - Elemental
Creatures you control have double strike.
Follow me, and your foes will fall before you.
1/1


Harp of Pandemonium
Artifact - Equipment
, tap equipped creature: Target player draws a card.
, tap equipped creature: Target player discards a card.
Equip
Strings of nymphs' hair; carved from a demon's horns.  Each ear must hear it, but no mind can stand it.  There is no sensation so odd as hearing such gorgeous notes flow from so vile a thing.
Darkwood

A black//green locale with necromancers and druids.
[spoiler]
Darkwood Scorpion
Creature - Scorpion R
Deathtouch, infect
The strength of a scorpion's venom is inversely proportional to the size of its pincers.  The terrors of Darkwood have long since lost their pincers altogether--replaced by two small barbs, each a separate stinger.
2/3

Darkwood Surveyor
Creature - Insect Horror
Flying, deathtouch
1/1

Darkwood Widow
Creature - Spider
Reach, deathtouch
: Creatures with flying target opponent controls must attack this turn if able.
The deadliest trait of the Widow is it allure.
1/1

Force of Darkwood
Creature - Elemental Horror
At the beginning of your end step, return target permanent in your graveyard to the battlefield if it was put there from the battlefield this turn.
Both the druids and the necromancers pray to the heart of the Wood, and both their prayers are answered.
6/6


Obsidian Cure-All
Artifact - Equipment (U)
Sacrifice ~: Regenerate equipped creature; it becomes a black zombie in addition to its other types and colors.
Equip
The necromancers of Darkwood treat all injuries the same way: euthanize and start again.  The druids quickly learned the consequences of accepting their allies' "cures."

Darkwood Weaver
Creature - Spider
Reach.
Whenever a creature with flying blocked by ~ dies this turn, draw a card.
"Search the weaver's web.  There, you shall find great treasures." -- Kora, Magus of the Wood
2/5

Darkwood Ettercap
Creature - Spider Giant (Rare)
~ is indestructible.
Other spider creatures you control get +1/+1.
It is said an ettercap's silkgland grants immortality.  However, no one has ever been able to test the claim.  The Spider-Wardens do not part easily with their own flesh.
4/4

Darkwood Survivalist
Creature - Human Druid
Undying
: Regenerate Darkwood Survivalist.
1/1
The Mangrove

A blue//green locale full of treefolk, faeries, and meer.  Psarro (my favorite self-created Planeswalker)'s home plane.
for second set of the block, with growing contamination and without Psarro present: SPIDERS!  massive spider tribal
[spoiler]
Psarro, Son of the Mangrove
Legendary Creature - Human Druid
Hexproof, Islandwalk, Forestwalk, protection from black
1/2

Psarro, Nature's Son
Planeswalker - Psarro
[+1] Put a 1/1 blue and green Sprite creature token with flying onto the battlefield.
[0]   Add to your mana pool.  Spend this mana only to cast creature spells.
[-6]  Blue creatures you control get +1/+1 are unblockable until end of turn.  Green creatures you control get +1/+1 and have trample until end of turn.  Until end of turn, whenever a creature you control deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card.
{3}


Psarro, Son of the Mangrove
Legendary Creature - Human Druid
Whenever you cast a creature spell, look at the top card of your library.  If it is a creature card, you may reveal it and put it into your hand.
"We will fend off this invasion.  The Mangrove will survive."
2/2


Psarro, Son of the Mangrove
Legendary Creature - Human Druid
Whenever a basic land enters the battlefield under your control, look at the top card of your library.  If it is a basic land card, you may reveal it and put it into your hand.
"We will rebuild.  Life will return to the Mangrove."
2/2

That legend and those vanguards seem overpowered to me.
That legend and those vanguards seem overpowered to me.


agreed
i also though the Vanguarg duo was overpowered -- but, still think they're fun

as for Psarro as legendary creature.... the threats in the Mangrove setting are enormous, and blue//green has a pretty sizable uphill struggle -- but in terms of game-wide power level, yeah, he has to cost more
Make the vanguards cost an extra hybrid and make them 2/2s
thanks ChaosLight -- they do look much better that way


Vanguard of Mist
Creature - Elemental
Creatures you control have hexproof.
Follow me, and your foes will never touch you.
2/2

Vanguard of Might
Creature - Elemental
Creatures you control have double strike.
Follow me, and your foes will fall before you.
2/2


and... flavor that i was absolutely in love with three months ago


Dryad's Curse
Enchantment
, tap an untapped creature you control: Destroy target creature without flying attacking you or a planeswalker you control.
"Let them come.  We will lead them into the Wood, the night, and the mist.  We will separate them and confuse their senses.  We will cut them down from every shadow." -- Nadine, Vengeant of Darkwood
I like it, looks like an oldschool card.
Vermeil Dirge
Enchantment
Whenever an artifact you control is put into your graveyard from the battlefield, Vermeil Dirge deals damage to target player equal to the number of artifacts in your graveyard.
"I will mourn their destruction.  And then, my foe, you shall mourn as well." -- Disciple of the Vault

Fae Revenant
Creature - Faerie Rogue Zombie
Flying, undying
"The time has come to unleash the deepest shadows of Glen Elendra." -- Oona, Queen of the Fae
2/1

Tree-Mistify
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant Forest.
Enchanted Forest gains ", sacrifice Tree-Mistify: Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt this turn."
"Well, honestly, I just love the opportunity to say 'enchanted forest.'" -- Samila, Murasa Expeditionary House

Swine Behavior
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant creature

Enchanted creature is a 4/4 green Boar and loses all other types, colors and abilities.
A world of Durkwood Boars

Creeping Webs
Enchantment
Creatures you control have reach.
Whenever a Spider enters the battlefield under your control, you may destroy target creature with flying.  If you do, you gain life equal to that creature's toughness.

I dunno...Creeping Webs seems WAAAY overpowered.  Maybe if you had it tap flying creatures rather than flat-out destroy them?  Better yet...have Spiders deal their power in damage to target flyers.




I dunno...Creeping Webs seems WAAAY overpowered.  Maybe if you had it tap flying creatures rather than flat-out destroy them?  Better yet...have Spiders deal their power in damage to target flyers.


well...
my thoughts included:
(1)rarity; probably rare
(2)it only kills fliers, not any creature
(3)if anyone can build a serious spider tribal deck, they deserve this extra help

the + reach in a spider deck is basically moot
and if you only have a couple spiders in your deck, the destroy clause isn't likely to be game-changing
and green flyer-hate always kinda makes me happy -- this is solely flyer-hate, and mono-green, and relies on a predominantly green tribe to do anything meaningful -- and even then, it's not that meaningful unless your opponent is flyer-heavy and for some reason your spiders aren't enough on their own

[C]Spidersilk Armor[/C] is same CMC and adds an extra +0/+1 --- this changes mana cost to mono green, and WotC has demonstrated that they're willing to regard as opening very powerful doors: see [C]Leatherback Baloth[/c] and [C]Predator Ooze[/c]
Vermeil Dirge
Probably too overpowered, considering all the cheap artifacts there are that can self-sacrafice and even cycle.

Fae Revenant
Seems very powerful in limited.

Tree-Mistify
So it's a fog that you can only tap forests for and must show to you opponent?

Swine Behavior
I like this card a fair ammount. 
..."window.parent.tinyMCE.get('post_content').onLoad.dispatch();" contenteditable="true" />Tree-Mistify
So it's a fog that you can only tap forests for and must show to you opponent?


yeah, design is flawed
but i had a seriously manic moment laughing the first time i said "enchanted forest"
and that keeps me happy
Rift to Below
Enchantment
You may play creature cards from your graveyard by payer their mana costs twice.


--- not super happy with wording here -- anyone know what it aught to be?
"You may cast a creature card from your graveyard for double its mana cost." maybe?

I don't think pluralizing it is necessary since the enchantment doesn't limit you to a certain number of uses, it just gives you a static ability. But if you must then:
"You may cast creature cards from your graveyard for double their mana cost." 
Nicol Bolas, Corruptor
Planeswalker - Bolas
[+1] Gain control of target creature.
[0]   Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control but do not own.
[-4] Each opponent discards a card for each creature he or she owns that you control.  Draw cards equal to the number of cards discarded this way.
[-8] Gain control of all creatures until end of turn.  They gain haste until end of turn.  You may sacrifice any number of creatures at the beginning of the end step.
{5}
Control Magic shouldn't be a plus ability. 
The 0 ability seems kinda weak and out of place.
The -4 ability feels the same way. I don't think it is a good idea to base abilities on how many things you've taken control of.
I like the -8. But after Control Magicing all your opponent's creatures it seems bland. Also if your opponent has a lot of creatures it is likely that Bolas is going to die and you won't be able to use the ability.

I would suggest:
{+ 1}: (new ability)
{- 4}: Confiscate
{- 7}: Massive Slave of Bolas / (new ability)
{4}
I really like the harp, but it is repeatable instant speed discard, which is a No No.

I feel like the 1 mana bloodthirster should be a 1/0  Bloodthirst 2. 

Darkwood Widow feels a a little too strong, and like it is covering much more ground than Deadly Recluse

Perhaps have Tree-Mistify cantrip?

Creeping Webs is fine, it isn't like Spider.dec is rocking any metagame anytime soon.

Nicol Bolas is a better Control Magic from the get go, too much power in there. 
"I think me going Bang bang bang I win is pretty intuitive" Mafia Record: Wouldn't you like to know? 2011 Mafia Awards - Mastermind of the Year
mymoment
\
57817638 wrote:
58060728 wrote:
88318561 wrote:
58060728 wrote:
Moriok Rigger does absolutely nothing to boost other riggers. You are incorrect.
Moriok Rigger is not a Rigger in print. Only in Errata WHAT NOW! (yes, I did put that phrase in for that exact reason)
Congratulations, they have activated your trap card!
Inkwell Hatchling
Creature - Leviathan
Tap an untapped creature you control with Islandwalk: Add to your mana pool.
The brood call to their mother.  Pray she does not answer.
0/4
Hate
Sorcery
Destroy target non-black creature.  Its controller reveals his or her hand, then discards all cards with the same name as that creature.


---undecided if that's a good cost, or should be
---if went solid 3-black, would remove the "non-black" limitation
Hate
Sorcery
Destroy target non-black creature.  Its controller reveals his or her hand, then discards all cards with the same name as that creature.


---undecided if that's a good cost, or should be
---if went solid 3-black, would remove the "non-black" limitation


It should be fine, it is Eradicate-lite.
"I think me going Bang bang bang I win is pretty intuitive" Mafia Record: Wouldn't you like to know? 2011 Mafia Awards - Mastermind of the Year
mymoment
\
57817638 wrote:
58060728 wrote:
88318561 wrote:
58060728 wrote:
Moriok Rigger does absolutely nothing to boost other riggers. You are incorrect.
Moriok Rigger is not a Rigger in print. Only in Errata WHAT NOW! (yes, I did put that phrase in for that exact reason)
Congratulations, they have activated your trap card!
Hate
Sorcery
Destroy target non-black creature.  Its controller reveals his or her hand, then discards all cards with the same name as that creature.


---undecided if that's a good cost, or should be
---if went solid 3-black, would remove the "non-black" limitation



I like it, it feels like actual sorcery speed removal rather than nerfed instant speed removal.
Dr_Demento and Sleeping = thanks for the approval -- very happy with that card now



Zing
Instant
Zing deals 2 damage to target creature.
Morbid -- If a creature died this turn, Zing deals 3 damage to target creature or player instead.
Adding insult to injury... And injury to injury.
Dr_Demento and Sleeping = thanks for the approval -- very happy with that card now



Zing
Instant
Zing deals 2 damage to target creature.
Morbid -- If a creature died this turn, Zing deals 3 damage to target creature or player instead.
Adding insult to injury... And injury to injury.


the problem here is that the rules don't work the way you want them to. when you play this, you will need to pick targets for both abilities, regardless of whether or not a creature died. that makes this a stupidly good answer to opposing sacrifice options. say you have a mogg fanatic. normally, using removal on mogg fanatic is dumb because it just comes back and shoots you in the face. however, here, if I target it with the first ability and you with the latter, then you can't sacrifice it or I shoot you for 3. or, worse, I shoot your 3/3 that I couldn't kill otherwise for 3. this isn't inherently a problem, in that it does allow for cool gameplay, but you have to consider that no one knows it will do that when they first read the card. they assume that you choose your one target, based on whether or not morbid is active. odds are you assumed that. so while the interaction is cute, it is very unintuitive and very easy to turn on, since in an environment with Morbid you need a bunch of sac outlets.

 

why are you here when NGA exists and is just better

 

Sets I Made: Fleets of Ossia (complete) | Wavebreak (in progress)

the problem here is that the rules don't work the way you want them to. when you play this, you will need to pick targets for both abilities, regardless of whether or not a creature died. that makes this a stupidly good answer to opposing sacrifice options. say you have a mogg fanatic. normally, using removal on mogg fanatic is dumb because it just comes back and shoots you in the face. however, here, if I target it with the first ability and you with the latter, then you can't sacrifice it or I shoot you for 3. or, worse, I shoot your 3/3 that I couldn't kill otherwise for 3. this isn't inherently a problem, in that it does allow for cool gameplay, but you have to consider that no one knows it will do that when they first read the card. they assume that you choose your one target, based on whether or not morbid is active. odds are you assumed that. so while the interaction is cute, it is very unintuitive and very easy to turn on, since in an environment with Morbid you need a bunch of sac outlets.


i'm not sure i understand you
so, i couldn't play Zing during my first main phase, when no creature has died, and just target a creature for 2?
i can't declare a target player or a target creature for 3 damage until another creature has died -- those aren't valid targets (as it were) because i don't have the option to declare them as targets until someone has actually died
so, if i cast this, and it's on the stack, and then someone dies, it's too late for me = my target creature to recieve 2 damage was already chosen, and the morbid ability is meaningless

i'm not looking for some weird rules glitch where the caster can change the effect from 2 to 3 post-casting
i want the choice to be at the moment of casting
does wording need to be changed for that to happen?  i thought it was already clear by making it "target" = i.e., since you decalre targets, you have  to know whether you're using the morbid cost when you declare a target//when you cast
i'm not sure i understand you
so, i couldn't play Zing during my first main phase, when no creature has died, and just target a creature for 2?
i can't declare a target player or a target creature for 3 damage until another creature has died -- those aren't valid targets (as it were) because i don't have the option to declare them as targets until someone has actually died
so, if i cast this, and it's on the stack, and then someone dies, it's too late for me = my target creature to recieve 2 damage was already chosen, and the morbid ability is meaningless

i'm not looking for some weird rules glitch where the caster can change the effect from 2 to 3 post-casting
i want the choice to be at the moment of casting
does wording need to be changed for that to happen?  i thought it was already clear by making it "target" = i.e., since you decalre targets, you have  to know whether you're using the morbid cost when you declare a target//when you cast


the choice won't happen at the moment of casting, though. look at brimstone volley. if a creature dies while it's on the stack, the damage will always get a bump. similarly, with this, when you cast it, you choose both targets, because the game will ask you to no matter what. you can choose the same target both times if it's a creature, but you need to choose both. then, when it resolves, if no creature has died, it deals 2 to the first target. otherwise, it replaces that with 3 to the second target. there's no elegant way to make it behave differently, but here's my best shot:

~ deals 2 damage to target creature.
Morbid-If a creature died this turn, ~ deals 3 damage instead and can target a player.

that way, you'll still get the bump, but hopefully the target is locked in on casting. it's awkward though and I can't promise it works.

 

why are you here when NGA exists and is just better

 

Sets I Made: Fleets of Ossia (complete) | Wavebreak (in progress)

thanks

i'm thinking safest bet is to remove key-word and make it kinda clunky:


Zing
Instant
Zing deals 2 damage to target creature.
When you cast Zing, if a creature died this turn, you may have Zing deal 3 damage to target creature or target player instead.
Adding insult to injury... And injury to injury.


because that is very much the effect i want
it's a creature-specific Shock in hand, but can turn into a Lightning Bolt if you're patient and time it
problem is that that makes it uncounterable. it's a triggered ability that triggers off casting the spell. also, you can't use "instead" in a triggered ability. if you want to go that route. "When you cast Zing, if a creature died this turn, you may have Zing deal 3 damage to target creature or player. If you do, counter Zing." but that's so ugly it's ridiculous.

I'd just let the "becomes a bolt on the stack" function ride, it's a functional change but it's really for the best.

 

why are you here when NGA exists and is just better

 

Sets I Made: Fleets of Ossia (complete) | Wavebreak (in progress)

Krazy Kool Kards
For
Krazy Kool Kombos
Mixed Monstrosity
Creature - Zombie Mutant
As long as Mixed Monstrosity is on the battlefield, it has all activated abilities of all creature cards in all graveyards.
Exile all graveyards: Mixed Monstrosity's power becomes the total power of creatures exiled this way, and its toughness becomes the total toughness of creatures exiled this way.
What happens when a vizzerdrix breeds.
0/1


mix of Necrotic Ooze and Sutured Ghoul abilities -- with blue coloring to facilitate the mix, mutagenics, and fringe science of the recent innistrad block
you get either the multi-ability weakling or the vanilla power-house ---- the choice aspect also very blue (see eg Primal Plasma, Aquamorph Entity, etc...)
It's undercosted. When considering the price of a card like this, consider what you'd price a 20/20 creature at. Sutured Ghoul is fine, because seven mana is a lot to pay for a vanilla creature of any proportion.

Edit:
Five mana would probably be fine. 
but Sutured Ghoul isn't vanilla -- he has trample
and trample on a massssssive body is what makes him cost 7 --- it's black's version of things like Primulcrux except you also empty a graveyard
And your creature has utility. Also, my question was what would you price a 20/20 at, not why Sutured Ghoul was priced the way that he was.
as to how to price a 20/20 vanilla creature....
if there are zero drawbacks, no affinity cost, or additional sacrificing etc to explain it... completely empty card with a 20/20 body...
first of all, it would just have to be green --- unless you're also paying life, or sacrificing stuff, or discarding, or whatever else; only way to have a 20/20 is in mono green
but if we're looking at something like or [/mc]8gggggggg[/mc] or other grossly over-sized mana cost... no one's ever going to be interested in it anyway, other than combo tricks with stuff like Quicksilver Amulet or reanimation spells -- so, ultimately, the mana cost is going to be moot on a creature like that anyway -- no one will ever cast a 20/20-worthy mana cost directly; it will only ever be snuck out through combos

therefore: mana cost for a 20/20 is a moot point
it isn't productive to try to match a 20/20 vanilla's mana cost, because that cost is meaningless

i maintain the better comparison is Sutured Ghoul's mana cost
WotC determined that cmc 7 with three dedicated in mono black was a fair cost for a potential 20/20, with trample
i maintain the focal point of the design is the trample -- a huge body is often meaningless without trample ---- throwing a 1/1 in front of a 20/20 is golden
take away the trample, and you greatly nerf the creature
cmc 4, still three dedicated, and mixed color.... pretty close
if your argument is that 4 is a fair cost for a 20/20 if it doesn't have trample I invite you to look at vorstclaw.

 

why are you here when NGA exists and is just better

 

Sets I Made: Fleets of Ossia (complete) | Wavebreak (in progress)

'fair' is a strong word
you also have to dump graveyards -- and it's only any good if there are enough creatures in graveyards worth dumping

as to Vorstclaw....
i would never put it in a deck
would you?

some cards are printed, but are awful
using Chimney Imp to guage appropriate mana costs would destroy the game
I'd run it in limited.

the problem is, you're looking at it in the context of a regular game. that's like looking at brain freeze and going "okay how many spells do you cast in a turn, really?" you can't just cost combo win cons as if they're not gonna be played with those combos. it's very easy to get 20 power worth of creature cards in your graveyard, and if one of them is, say, cephalid inkshrouder, to help you enable, you can make him unblockable and give him shroud before you activate it. and if not? there's plenty of other ways to sneak damage through. whispersilk cloak, fling, whatever. not having evasion is a solvable problem.

 

why are you here when NGA exists and is just better

 

Sets I Made: Fleets of Ossia (complete) | Wavebreak (in progress)

____________
Instant
Exile target creature.
Counter any abilities of the exiled creature.



--- because, if you Murder or Doom Blade after an ability has been activated, the ability still resolves
but, this is instant removal and stops an already-activated ability
same cmc as Murder, but mixed color, so a little hard to get out
Cute, but why not just do Split Second? Prevent Sac outlets, and other bounce and counters, too. Seems more applicable, unless this is EDH. Not every deck has a creature with activated abilities.

139359831 wrote:
That is a lovely painting of Richard Garfield. It really brings out his feminine side.
split second won't stop an ability that's already been activated
it will stop them from activating in response, but it doesn't prevent things already on the stack

i'm talking more about a situation where oppent has a Vulshok Sorcerer and taps her
if you Doom Blade, you still get shocked for 1 damage
even if you Sudden Spoiling her, to remove the ability, it's already on the stack and you still get shocked for 1 damage

with the unnamed card.... you remove his sorcerer, and you counter the 1 damage
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