Un Cards: Who Do I Talk to About Getting an Uncard Oracle Typo Fixed?

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It is nothing major. Cheap Ass and Flaccify are missing the fraction 1/2 from their Oracle text. Yes, I know, Unland + Oracle update = not likely to happen, but I figure even uncards deserve to have their Oracle text at least not be incomplete.

So the question is, who is the proper person to talk to about getting those fractions in there?

Xweetoks = ♥Happiness

Well, much as I love the "new" Oracle text on Cheap Ass ("Spells you play cost less to play."? Priceless.), this is probably one of the better places to bring it up, though you could try submitting it as a Gatherer bug report (I don't know if this would be the right course of action).

As a side note, am I crazy or did I hear something about MaRo trying to update the rules text of Un-cards?
Rules Nut Advisor
If Mark Rosewater were to update Uncards, that would be amazing.

By the way, I went ahead and submitted it as a bug report as per your suggestion. I to do not know if that is the proper course of action either, but the deed has been done all the same.

Xweetoks = ♥Happiness

As a side note, am I crazy or did I hear something about MaRo trying to update the rules text of Un-cards?



The offical stance is "Move along". Even if Maro wanted an update (he is rules manager of un-land), i don't see the rules team putting in the time to do it.

That being said, I and another member of the rules forum did independently create oracle updates for all uncards. Though i think that thread was eaten up by the forumn change over.
… and then, the squirrels came.
I have a dream that someday, for April Fools, there will be an Un- Oracle update. If I had the time, I would try to spearhead it.

Wizards.Com Boards Net Rep

DCI Level 2 Judge

Questions don't have to make sense, but answers do.

As a side note, am I crazy or did I hear something about MaRo trying to update the rules text of Un-cards?



The offical stance is "Move along". Even if Maro wanted an update (he is rules manager of un-land), i don't see the rules team putting in the time to do it.

That being said, I and another member of the rules forum did independently create oracle updates for all uncards. Though i think that thread was eaten up by the forumn change over.


I have a dream that someday, for April Fools, there will be an Un- Oracle update. If I had the time, I would try to spearhead it.



Hypothetically, what would the possibilities be of us doing this again, here in T&T, and having it actually accomplish something?
Rules Nut Advisor
Not a clue. That's a better question for Matt or MaRo.

Wizards.Com Boards Net Rep

DCI Level 2 Judge

Questions don't have to make sense, but answers do.

What is a good way to contact them?

Xweetoks = ♥Happiness

Hypothetically, what would the possibilities be of us doing this again, here in T&T, and having it actually accomplish something?



Here's my thread. (These updates haven't been updated in 4 years, so they'd need to be updated again)

Rocketia was the person also doing an update.

* I'd love to see an Un-update for April fools day. It would be nice to at least update the Un-cards to modern standards of templates. Even if they still won't work within the rules.
… and then, the squirrels came.
It's a shame April is so far away. On the other hand, it would give us plenty of opportunity to organize something. We can probably use a lot of the old wordings, as long as we find someone who has both the authority and the time to implement things.
Rules Nut Advisor
Welll here's my suggested for an updated oracle text for Unglued. Unhinge in awhile.

Show

[


Charm School



Enchantment — Aura


Enchant player


As Charm School enters the battlefield, choose a color.


Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you by sources of the chosen color.


Play with Charm School balanced on top of your head. When you fail to do so, sacrifice Charm School.


 


The Cheese Stands Alone



Enchantment


When you control no nontoken permanents other than The Cheese Stands Alone and have no cards in hand, you win the game.


 


Double Dip



Instant


Choose another player. You gain 5 life. At the beginning of the next Un-game with you and that player, you gain 5 life.


 


Get a Life



Instant


Redistribute the life totals of target player and each of his or her teammates. (Each of those players gets one other life total back.)


 


I'm Rubber, You're Glue



Enchantment


Speak only in rhyming sentences. When you fail to do so, sacrifice I'm Rubber, You're Glue.


Say "I'm rubber. You're glue. Everything bounces off me and sticks to you": Change the target of target spell or ability that targets only you to another player.


 


Knight of the Hokey Pokey



Creature — Human Knight


2/2


First strike


, Do the Hokey Pokey: The next time a source of your choice would deal damage to Knight of the Hokey Pokey this turn, prevent that damage. (To do the Hokey Pokey, Stand up, wiggle your butt, raise your hands above your head, and shake them wildly as you rotate 360 degrees)


 


Lexivore



Creature — Beast


2/3


Whenever Lexivore deals damage to a player, destroy target nontoken permanent other than Lexivore with the most lines of text in its text box. (If two or more permanents are tied, you may target any one of them.)


 


Look at Me, I'm the DCI



Sorcery


Name a card other than a basic land card. The named card becomes banned in this match. (Each player in the match reveals all cards he or she owns in any zone and in his or her deck and sideboard and put all cards that are the named card in the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaken-game-forever zone for the remainder of the match. Then each player shuffles his or her library.)


 


[c]Mesa Chicken[c]



Creature — {Bird}


2/2


Stand up, Flap your arms, Cluck like a Chicken: Mesa Chicken gains flying until end of turn.


 


Miss Demeanor



Creature — Angel


3/1


Flying, first strike


At the beginning of each other player’s end step, sacrifice Miss Demeanor unless you complimented that player this turn.


 


Once More with Feeling



Sorcery


Exile Once More with Feeling, all nontoken permanents and graveyards. Each player shuffles his or her hand into his or her library, then draws seven cards. Each player's life total becomes 10.


Once More with Feeling is restricted. (A deck can have only one card named Once More with Feeling.)


 


Prismatic Wardrobe



Sorcery


Destroy target nontoken nonartifact, nonland permanent that doesn't share a color with its controller's clothing.


 


Sex Appeal



Instant


Prevent up to 3 damage total that would be dealt this turn to any number of target creatures and/or players, divided as you choose. If there are more members of the opposite sex from you in the room that you can see from your seat, instead prevent 6 damage this way.


 


Bureaucracy



Enchantment


At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player may attempt to perform all actions chosen for Bureaucracy in the order in which they were chosen. If that player does and succeeds, he or she chooses and performs a simple action. If a player fails to perform all actions, sacrifice Bureaucracy. If you do, that player discards his or her hand. [/i](A simple actions must be a simple physical or verbal action that a player can perform while sitting in a chair, without jeopardizing his or her health and/or security and/or property.)[/i]


 


Censorship



Enchantment


As Censorship enters the battlefield, choose a word.


Whenever a player says the chosen word, Censorship deals 2 damage to him or her.


 


Checks and Balances



Enchantment


Cast Checks and Balances only if the game started with three or more players


Whenever a player casts a spell, if each of that spell's controller's opponents has a card in hand, those players may agree to have each of those players discard a card. If they do, those players discard a card, and counter that spell.


 




Creature — {bird}


2/2


Whenever a player rolls a 6 on a six-sided die, put a +1/+1 counter on each {bird} creature.


Tap an untapped {bird} you control: Roll a six-sided die.


 


Clam-I-Am



Creature — Clamfolk


2/2


You may reroll any die you rolled with a result of 3.


 


Clambassadors



Creature — Clamfolk


4/4


Whenever Clambassadors deals combat damage to a player, that player gains control of an artifact, creature, or land of your choice you control.


 


Clam Session



Creature — Clamfolk


2/5


As Clam Session enters the battlefield, choose a word.


At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Clam Session unless you sing at least six words of a song, exactly one of which must be the chosen word. You can't sing the same song or variants of the same song twice.


 


Common Courtesy



Enchantment


Whenever a player casts a spell, counter that spell unless its controller asks your permission to cast it. If he or she does, you may sacrifice Common Courtesy. If you do, counter that spell.


 


Denied!



Instant


Choose target spell controlled by an opponent. Name a card. That spell’s controller reveals his or her hand. If the named card is revealed this way, counter that spell.


 


Double Take



Instant


Choose another player. Draw two cards. At the beginning of the next Un-game with you and that player, draw two cards.


 


[c]Fowl Play[c]



Enchantment — Aura


Enchant creature


Enchanted creature is a 1/1 {Bird} with no abilities.


 


Free-for-All



Enchantment


When Free-for-All enters the battlefield, exile all creatures face down.


At the beginning of each player's upkeep, he or she puts a random card exiled by Free-for-all onto the battlefield under his or her control.


When Free-for-All leaves the battlefield, put each card exiled with Free-for-All into their owner's graveyard.


 


[c]Psychic Network[c]



Enchantment


Play with the top card of your library revealed to each other player. (To do this you can play with the card pressed against your forehead.)


 


Sorry



Enchantment


If a player would cast a spell, he or she casts that spell, but if a card with the same name is in a graveyard, he or she may say "Sorry." If he or she doesn't, the next time another player says "Sorry" while that spell is on the stack, counter that spell.


Whenever a player says "Sorry" for any other reason, Sorry deals 2 damage to him or her.


 


B.F.M. (Big Furry Monster)



Creature — {Beast}


99/99


(If both halves of B.F.M. are in your hand, you may teat them as one card. If both halves of B.F.M. are on the stack or on the battlefield treat them as one card. Otherwise treat B.F.M. as blank black cards.)


B.F.M. can't be blocked except by three or more creatures.


 


Deadhead



Creature — Zombie


3/3


Point out an opponent isn’t touching his or her hand: Return Deadhead from your graveyard to play. (Activate this ability only if an opponent has at least one card in his or her hand.)


 


Double Cross



Sorcery


Choose another player. That player reveals his or her hand. Choose a card from it other than a basic land. That player discards that card. At the beginning of the next Un- game with you and that player, he or she reveals his or her hand. Choose a card from it other than a basic land. That player discards that card.


 


Handcuffs



Enchantment


As Handcuffs enters the battlefield, choose a player.


The chosen player keeps his or her actual hands touching each other. If that player’s hands lose contact with each other, sacrifice Handcuffs and that player sacrifices three non-token permanents.


 


Infernal Spawn of Evil



Creature — Beast


7/7


Flying, first strike


, Reveal Infernal Spawn of Evil from your hand, Say "It's coming!": Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 1 damage to target opponent. Activate this ability only during your upkeep and only once per upkeep. (Reveal this card for the remainder of the upkeep you use its ability.)


 


Jumbo Imp


cm[]2B[/mc]


Creature — Imp


0/0


Flying


As Jumbo Imp enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die. Jumbo Imp enters the battlefield with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to that die’s result.


At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. Then put a number of +1/+1 counters on Jumbo Imp equal to that die’s result.


At the beginning of your end step, roll a six-sided die. Then remove a number of +1/+1 counters from Jumbo Imp equal to that die’s result.


 


Organ Harvest



Sorcery


You and your teammates may sacrifice any number of creatures. Add to your mana pool for each creature sacrificed this way.


 


Ow



Enchantment


Whenever a creature deals damage to a player, for each nontoken permanent named Ow, Ow deals 1 damage to that player unless he or she says "Ow."


 


Poultrygeist



Creature — {Bird}


1/1


Flying


Whenever a creature is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, you may roll a six-sided die. If that die’s result is a 1, sacrifice Poultrygeist. If the result was not a 1, put a +1/+1 counter on Poultrygeist.


 


Temp of the Damned



Creature — Zombie


3/3


As Temp of the Damned enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die. Temp of the Damned enters the battlefield with a number of funk counters on it equal to that die’s result.


At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Temp of the Damned unless you remove a funk counter from it.


 


Volrath's Motion Sensor



Enchantment — Aura


Enchant opponent


As Volrath's Motion Sensor enters the battlefield, choose a hand attached to any of enchanted player's arms.


Enchanted player balances Volrath's Motion Sensor on the back of the chosen hand. When he or she fails to do so, sacrifice Volrath's Motion Sensor. If you do, enchanted player loses 3 life.


 


Burning Cinder Fury of Crimson Chaos Fire



Enchantment


Whenever a player taps a nontoken permanent, that permanent gains substance until end of turn and when it loses substance, that player chooses one of his or her opponents, and that opponent gains control of it.


At the beginning of each end step, if that player did not tap any nontoken nonland permanents this turn, Burning Cinder Fury of Crimson Chaos Fire deals 3 damage to him or her.


 


Chicken Egg



Creature — Egg


0/1


At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. If the result is 6, sacrifice Chicken Egg and put a 4/4 red {bird} creature token named Giant Chicken into play.


 


Double Deal



Sorcery


Choose another player. Double Deal deals 3 damage to that player. At the beginning of the next Un game with you and that player, Double Deal deals 3 damage to that player.


 


Goblin Bookie



Creature — Goblin Rogue


1/1


If you would flip a coin or roll a die, flip that coin or roll that die, then you may pay ",." If you do, ignore that flip or roll, and flip or roll again.


 


Goblin Bowling Team



Creature — Goblin


1/1


If Goblin Bowling Team would deal damage to a creature or player, instead it deals that damage, then roll a six-sided die. Goblin Bowling team then deals damage equal to that die’s result to that creature or player.


 


Goblin Tutor



Instant


 Roll a six-sided die. On the result of 2, search your library for a card named Goblin tutor, On a result of 3, search your library for an enchantment card, On a result of 4 search your library for an artifact card. On a result of 5 search your library for a creature card. On a result of 6 search your library for an instant or sorcery card.


If you searched your library for a card, reveal that card and put it into your hand. Then if you searched your library, shuffle it.


 


Hurloon Wrangler



Creature — Minotaur


2/2


Denimwalk (This creature is unblockable as long as defending player wears any clothing made of denim.)


 


Jalum Grifter



Legendary Creature — {Human}


3/5


, : Choose target nontoken permanent. With you as the dealer, you and target opponent play three-card monte. If you win, destroy that permanent. Otherwise, sacrifice Jalum Grifter. (To play three-card monte, you reveal three cards that are indistinguishable from the back, but are distinguishable from the front, signify one of them, then put them face down on a flat surface in front of that player. Then, rearrange the order of the three cards as often as you wish, keeping them on the surface at all times. The other player then chooses one of those cards. You win if the signified card wasn't chosen.)


 


Krazy Kow



Creature — Ox


3/3


At the beginning of your upkeep roll a six-sided die. On a result of 1, sacrifice Krazy Kow and it deals 3 damage to each creature and player.


 


Landfill



Sorcery


Choose a land type. Remove from the game all lands of the chosen type you control. Drop those cards, one at a time, onto the playing area from a height of at least one foot. Destroy each nontoken permanent that is completely covered by those cards. Then return the dropped cards to the battlefield under your control, tapped.


 


Ricochet



Enchantment


Whenever a player plays a spell that targets a single player, each player rolls a six-sided die. Change the target of that spell to the player with the lowest die result. If there’s a tie for lowest, each player with the lowest continue this process.


 


Spark Fiend



Creature — Beast


5/6


When Spark Fiend enters the battlefield, roll two six-sided dice. If the total of those die’s results is 2, 3, or 12, sacrifice Spark Fiend. If you rolled a 7 or 11, put a Luck counter on Spark Fiend. If the result is anything else, choose that number.


At the beginning of your upkeep, if Spark Fiend doesn’t have a Luck counter on it, roll two six-sided dice. If the total of those die’s results is 7, sacrifice Spark Fiend. If the result is the chosen number, put a Luck counter on Spark Fiend.


 


Strategy, Schmategy


1R


Sorcery


Roll a six-sided die. If the result of that die is 2, destroy all artifacts. If the result is 3, destroy all lands. If the result is 4, Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and each player. If the result is 5, each player discards his or her hand and draws seven cards. If the result is 6, repeat this process two more times.


 



YZ


The Ultimate Nightmare of Wizards of the Coast® Customer Service deals X damage to each of Y target creatures and Z target players.


 


Cardboard Carapace



Enchantment — Aura


Enchant creature


Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each card you own outside the game named Cardboard Carapace you currently have with you.


 


Double Play



Sorcery


Choose another player. Search your library for a basic land card, put that card into onto the battlefield, then shuffle your library. At the beginning of the next Un-game with you and that player, search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield, then shuffle your library.


 


Elvish Impersonators



Creature — Elf


*/*


As Elvish Impersonators enters the battlefield, roll a six sided die, then roll a second die. Elvish Impersonators enters the battlefield with power is equal to the first die’s result and toughness equal to the second die’s result.


 


Flock of Rabid Sheep



Sorcery


Flip X coins. Put a 2/2 green Sheep creature token named Rabid Sheep into play for each flip you win.


 


Free-Range Chicken



Creature — {bird}


3/3


: Roll two six-sided dice. If both results are the same, Free-Range Chicken gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is one of the die’s results. Otherwise, if the total rolled is equal to any other total you have rolled this turn for Free-Range Chicken, sacrifice it. (For example, if you roll two 3s, Free-Range Chicken gets +3/+3. If you roll a total of 6 for Free-Range Chicken later in that turn, other than by rolling two 3s, sacrifice it.)


 


Gerrymandering



Sorcery


Exile all lands. Starting with you, each player chooses X of those cards at random and returns those cards to the battlefield under his or her control, where X is the number of cards he or she controlled that were exiled this way.


 




Creature — Ogre


2/2


When Ghazbán Ogress enters the battlefield, if a player has won more MAGIC games today than any other player, that player gains control of Ghazbán Ogress.(If there is a tie you retain control of Ghazbán Ogress.)


 


Growth Spurt



Instant


Roll a six-sided die. Target creature gets +X/+X until the end of turn where X is that die’s result.


 


Gus



Creature — {Ouphe}


2/2


As  Gus enters the battlefield, for each of your opponents, it enters the battlefield with an additional +1/+1 counter on it for each MAGIC game you have lost  to that player since you last won a MAGIC game against them. 


 


Hungry Hungry Heifer



Creature — Ox


3/3


At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Hungry Hungry Heifer unless you remove a counter from a nontoken permanent you control.


 


Incoming!



Sorcery


Each player searches his or her library for any number of artifact, creature, enchantment, and land cards and puts them onto the battlefield. Then each player shuffles his or her library.


 


Mine, Mine, Mine!



Enchantment


When Mine, Mine, Mine! enters the battlefield, each player puts his or her library into his or her hand.


Players have no maximum hand size.


Players don't lose the game as a result of being unable to draw a card.


Each player can't cast more than one spell each turn.


When Mine, Mine, Mine! leaves the battlefield, each player shuffles his or her hand and graveyard into his or her library.


 


Squirrel Farm



Enchantment


: Reveal a card in your hand except for its illustration credit. Target opponent guesses the card's artist. Reveal the card. If the player guessed wrong, put a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token onto the battlefield.


 


Team Spirit



Instant


Creatures target player and each of his or her teammates control get +1/+1 until end of turn.


 


Timmy, Power Gamer



Legendary Creature — Human Gamer


1/1


: You may put a creature card from your hand onto the battlefield.


 


Ashnod's Coupon



Artifact


, Sacrifice Ashnod's Coupon: Choose a drink that’s free or for sale. Target player gets you that drink. You pay all costs of that drink. If that player refuses, he or she loses the game.


 


Blacker Lotus



Artifact


: Tear Blacker Lotus into two or more peices. If you do, add four mana of any one color to your mana pool. Then remove all pieces of Blacker lotus from the game. Activate this ability only any time you could cast an instant and only if you own Blacker Lotus.


 


Bronze Calendar



Artifact


Spells you cast cost less to cast.


Speak only in voices other than your normal voice. When fail to do so, sacrifice Bronze Calendar.


 


Chaos Confetti



Artifact


, : Tear it up into two or more pieces. Then throw the pieces of chaos confetti onto the playing area from a distance of at least five feet above the surface. Destroy each nonland permanent a piece touches. Activate this ability only if you own Chaos Confetti.


 


Clay Pigeon



Artifact Creature


1/1


Flying


, , Throw Clay Pigeon into the air at least two feet above your head while seated: Catch Clay Pigeon with one hand while it is falling. If you succeed in catching Clay Pigeon, the next time a source of your choice would deal damage to you this turn, prevent that damage. If you failed in catching Clay pigeon, sacrifice it.


 


Giant Fan



Artifact


, : Move a counter from a nontoken permanent to another nontoken permanent. If the second permanent's rules text refers to counters of any kind, the moved counter becomes one of those kinds. Otherwise, it becomes a +1/+1 counter.


 


Jack-in-the-Mox



Artifact


: Roll a six-sided die. If the result is 1, sacrifice Jack-in-the-Mox, and you lose 5 life. If the result is 2, add to your mana pool. If the result is 3, add to your mana pool. If the result is 4, add to your mana pool. If the result is 5, add to your mana pool. If the result is 6, add to your mana pool. Activate this ability only any time you could cast an instant.


 


Jester's Sombrero



Artifact


, , Sacrifice Jester's Sombrero: Look at target player's sideboard and choose three cards from it. Put those cards into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaken-game-forever zone for the remainder of the match.


 


Mirror Mirror



Artifact


Mirror Mirror enters the battlefield tapped.


, , Sacrifice Mirror Mirror: Choose target player. At end of turn, exchange places with that player. (You and that player, exchange life totals with that player and exchange control of all permanents that you control, and all cards in your hand, library, and graveyard, with that player until end of game.)


 


Paper Tiger



Artifact Creature


4/3


Creatures named Rock Lobster can't attack or block.


 


Rock Lobster



Artifact Creature


4/3


Creatures named Scissors Lizard can't attack or block.


 


Scissors Lizard



Artifact Creature


4/3


Creatures named Paper Tiger can't attack or block.


 


Spatula of the Ages



Artifact


, , Sacrifice Spatula of the Ages: You may put a permanent card from the Unglued or Unhinged expansion from your hand onto the battlefield.


 


Urza's Contact Lenses



Artifact


Urza's Contact Lenses enters the battlefield tapped and doesn't untap during your untap step.


As long as Urza's Contact Lenses is untapped, players play with their hands revealed.


Clap your hands twice: You may tap or untap Urza's Contact Lenses.


 


Urza's Science Fair Project



Artifact Creature


4/4


: Roll a six-sided die. If that die’s result is 1, Urza's Science Fair Project gets -2/-2 until end of turn. If the result is 2, it deals no combat damage this turn. If the result is 3, it gains vigilance until end of turn. If the result is 4, it gains first strike until end of turn. If the result is 5, it gains flying until end of turn. If the result is 6, it gets +2/+2 until end of turn.


… and then, the squirrels came.
Welll here's my suggested for an updated oracle text for Unglued. Unhinge in awhile. 


Thanks for posting that.  Some of the autocard is messed up, if you can fix it.

One error I see is that it's missing the terminology "dies" for when creatures go to the graveyard from the battlefield.

Also, it would be easier to review if the cards were in alphabetical order.

Here's a first pass at Unhinged.

* Fixed

[sblock]












<a href="http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=73935" rel="nofollow">"Ach! Hans, Run!"</a>


2RRGG


Enchantment


 


At the beginning of your upkeep, you may say "Ach Hans, run It's the . . ." and name a creature card. If you do, search your library for the named card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle your library. That creature has haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step.


 


_____</a>


1U


Creature — Shapeshifter


(1/1)


{1}: This card's name becomes the name of your choice. You may activate this ability anytime this card is revealed in the game.


 


Aesthetic Consultation</a>


B


Instant


 


Name an artist. Exile the top six cards of your library, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a card by the named artist. Put that card in your hand, then exile all the other cards revealed this way.


 


Ambiguity</a>


2UU


Enchantment


 


Whenever a player casts a spell that could counter spell on the stack, that player chooses one – The next time a player casts a spell, counter it, or choose a permanent with at least one counter on it. Put an additional counter of that type on it.


Whenever a player casts a spell that enters the battlefield with counters, that player chooses one – The next time a player casts a spell, counter it, or choose a permanent with at least one counter on it. Put an additional counter of that type on it.


 


Artful Looter</a>


2U


Creature — Human Wizard


(1/2)


{T}: Draw a card, then discard a card.
Whenever a permanent enters the battlefield that shares an artist with another permanent you control, untap Artful Looter.


 


Ass Whuppin'</a>


1WB


Sorcery


 


Destroy target silver-bordered permanent in any game you can see from your seat.


 


Assquatch</a>


4R


Creature — Donkey Lord


(3{1/2}/3{1/2})


Each other Donkey gets +1{1/2}/+1{1/2}.
Whenever another Donkey enters the battlefield, untap target creature and gain control of it until end of turn. That creature gains haste until end of turn.


 


Atinlay Igpay</a>


5W


Creature — Pig


(3/3)


Double strike


Whenever Atinlay Igpay’s controller speaks a non-pig-lantin word, he or she sacrifices pig latin.


 


Avatar of Me</a>


2UU


Creature — Avatar


(*/*)


Avatar of Me costs {1} more to cast for each ten years you've been alive.
Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest {1/2}.
Avatar of Me's color is the color of your eyes.


 


AWOL</a>


2W


Instant


 


Exile target attacking creature. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.


 


Bad Ass</a>


2BB


Creature — Donkey Zombie


(3{1/2}/1)


{1B}, Growl: Regenerate Bad Ass.


 


B-I-N-G-O</a>


1G


Creature — Hound


(1/1)


Trample
Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its converted mana cost.
B-I-N-G-O gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.


 


Blast from the Past</a>


2R


Instant


 


Madness {R}, cycling {1R}, kicker {2R}, flashback {3R}, buyback {4R}
Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to target creature or player.
If the kicker cost was paid, put a 1/1 red Goblin creature token onto the battlefield.


 


Bloodletter</a>


2B


Creature — Zombie


(2/3)


When the names of three or more nonland permanents begin with the same letter, sacrifice Bloodletter. If you do, it deals 2 damage to each creature and each player. (Æ counts as A)


 


Booster Tutor</a>


B


Instant


 


Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of those cards into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.)


 


Bosom Buddy</a>


3W


Creature — Elephant Townsfolk


(1/4)


Whenever you cast a spell, you may gain {1/2} life for each word in that spell's name.


 


Brushstroke Paintermage</a>


3U


Creature — Human Wizard


(2/3)


{T}: Target permanent's artist becomes the artist of your choice until end of turn.


 


Bursting Beebles</a>


2U


Creature — Beeble


(2/2)


Bursting Beebles is unblockable as long as defending player controls two or more nonland permanents that share an artist.


 


Cardpecker</a>


1W


Creature — Bird


(1{1/2}/1)


Flying
Gotcha -- Whenever an opponent touches the table with his or her hand, you may say "Gotcha" If you do, return Cardpecker from your graveyard to your hand.


 


Carnivorous Death-Parrot</a>


1U


Creature — Bird


(2/2)


Flying
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Carnivorous Death-Parrot unless you say its flavor text.


 


Cheap Ass</a>


1W


Creature — Donkey Townsfolk


(1/3{1/2})


Spells you cast cost {o{1/2}} less to cast.


 


Cheatyface</a>


UUU


Creature — Efreet


(2/2)


You may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield at any time without paying for it, but if an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying


 


Circle of Protection: Art</a>


1W


Enchantment


 


As Circle of Protection: Art enters the battlefield, choose an artist.
{1W}: The next time a source of your choice by the chosen artist would deal damage to you this turn, prevent that damage.
{1W}: Return Circle of Protection: Art to its owner's hand.


 


City of Ass</a>


 


Land


 


City of Ass enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add one and one-half mana of any one color to your mana pool.


 


Collector Protector</a>


3WW


Creature — Human Gamer


(2/5)


{W}, Give an opponent ownership of a nonland card you own from outside the game: Prevent the next 1 damage that would be dealt to you or to Collector Protector this turn.


 


Creature Guy</a>


3G


Creature — Beast


(3/3)


Gotcha Whenever an opponent says "Creature" or "Guy," you may say "Gotcha" If you do, return Creature Guy from your graveyard to your hand.


 


Curse of the Fire Penguin</a>


4RR


Enchantment - Aura

Enchant creature 
Replace the bottom half of Enchanted creature’s card with the bottom half of Curse of the Fire Penguin’s card.
-----
Creature Penguin
Trample
When this creature dies, return all enchantments named Curse of the Fire Penguin that were attached to it from your graveyard to the battlefield.
6/5


 


Deal Damage</a>


2RR


Instant


 


Deal Damage deals 4 damage to target creature or player.
Gotcha Whenever an opponent says "Deal" or "Damage," you may say "Gotcha" If you do, return Deal Damage from your graveyard to your hand.


 


Double Header</a>


3UU


Creature — Drake


(2/3)


Flying
When Double Header enters the battlefield, you may return target permanent with a two-word name to its owner's hand.


 


Drawn Together</a>


2WW


Enchantment


 


As Drawn Together enters the battlefield, choose an artist.
Creatures illustrated by the chosen artist get +2/+2.


 


Duh</a>


B


Instant


 


Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)


 


Dumb Ass</a>


2R


Creature — Donkey Barbarian


(3{1/2}/2)


At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, target opponent chooses whether Dumb Ass attacks this turn. (This choice is made immediately)


 


Elvish House Party</a>


4GG


Creature — Elf Rogue


(*/*)


Elvish House Party's power and toughness are each equal to the current hour, using the twelve-hour system.


 


Emcee</a>


2W


Creature — Human Rogue


(0/1)


Whenever another creature enters the battlefield, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.


 


Enter the Dungeon</a>


BB


Sorcery


 


Players play a Magic subgame under the table starting at 5 life, using their libraries as their decks. After the subgame ends, the winner searches his or her library for two cards, puts those cards into his or her hand, then shuffles his or her library.


 


Erase (Not the Urza's Legacy One)</a>


2W


Instant


 


If you control two or more white permanents that share an artist, you may cast Erase (Not the Urza's Legacy One) without paying its mana cost.
Exile target enchantment.


 


Eye to Eye</a>


2B


Instant


 


You and target creature's controller have a staring contest. If you win, destroy that creature.


 


Face to Face</a>


1R


Sorcery


 


You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that opponent.


 


Farewell to Arms</a>


1BB


Enchantment


 


As Farewell to Arms enters the battlefield, choose a hand attached to an opponent's arm.
When the chosen hand isn't behind its owner's back, sacrifice Farewell to Arms. If you do, that player discards his or her hand.


 


Fascist Art Director</a>


1WW


Creature — Human Horror


(2/2)


{WW}: Fascist Art Director gains protection from sources illustrated by the artist of your choice until end of turn..


 


Fat Ass</a>


4G


Creature — Donkey Shaman


(2/3{1/2})


Fat Ass gets +2/+2 and has trample as long as you're eating. (Food is in your mouth and you're chewing, licking, sucking, or swallowing it.)


 


First Come, First Served</a>


1W


Enchantment


 


The attacking or blocking creature with the lowest collector number has first strike. If two or more creatures are tied, they all have first strike.


 


Flaccify</a>


2U


Instant


 


Counter target spell unless its controller pays {o3o{1/2}}.


Form of the Squirrel</a>


G


Enchantment


 


As Form of the Squirrel enters the battlefield, put a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token onto the battlefield.


When that token leaves the battlefield, you lose the game.
Creatures can't attack you.
You have shroud.
You can't cast spells.


 


Fraction Jackson</a>


2G


Creature — Human Hero


(1/1{1/2})


{G}, {T}: Return target card with a {1/2} on it from your graveyard to your hand.


 


Framed!</a>


1U


Instant


 


Tap or untap all permanents illustrated by the artist of your choice.


 


Frankie Peanuts</a>


2WW


Legendary Creature — Elephant Rogue


(2/3)


At the beginning of your upkeep, you may ask target player a yes-or-no question. If you do, that player answers the question truthfully and abides by that answer if able until end of turn.


 


Frazzled Editor</a>


1R


Creature — Human Bureaucrat


(2/2)


Protection from wordy (Something is wordy if it has four or more lines of text in its text box.)


 


Gleemax</a>


1000000


Legendary Artifact


 


You choose all targets for all spells and abilities.


 


Gluetius Maximus</a>


3GG


Creature — Beast


(5/5)


As Gluetius Maximus enters the battlefield, an opponent chooses one of your fingers. (Thumbs are fingers, too.)
When the chosen finger isn't touching Gluetius Maximus, sacrifice Gluetius Maximus.


 


Goblin Mime</a>


1R


Creature — Goblin Mime


(2/2)


When you speak, sacrifice Goblin Mime.


 


Goblin S.W.A.T. Team</a>


3R


Creature — Goblin Warrior


(2/2)


Say "Goblin S.W.A.T. Team": Put a +1/+1 counter on Goblin S.W.A.T. Team unless an opponent swats the table within five seconds of activation. Activate this ability only once each turn.


 


Goblin Secret Agent</a>


2R


Creature — Goblin Rogue


(2/2)


First strike
At the beginning of your upkeep, reveal a card from your hand at random.


 


Granny's Payback</a>


7G


Sorcery


 


You gain life equal to your age.


 


Graphic Violence</a>


2G


Instant


 


All creatures illustrated by the artist of your choice get +2/+2 and gain trample until end of turn.


 


Greater Morphling</a>


6UU


Creature — Shapeshifter


(5/5)


{2}: Greater Morphling gains your choice of banding, bushido 1, double strike, fear, flying, first strike, haste, landwalk of your choice, protection from a color of your choice, provoke, rampage 1, shadow, or trample until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling becomes the colors of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling's type becomes the creature type of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling's expansion symbol becomes the symbol of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling's artist becomes the artist of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling gets +2/-2 or -2/+2 until end of turn.
{2}: Untap Greater Morphling.


 


Head to Head</a>


W


Instant


 


You and target opponent play Seven Questions about the top card of that player's library. (That player looks at the card, then you ask up to six yes-or-no questions about the card that he or she answers truthfully. You guess the card's name—that's question seven—and the player reveals the card.) If you win, prevent all damage that would be dealt this turn by a source of your choice.


 


Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil</a>


8BB


Creature — Demon Child


(8/8)


Flying, first strike, trample
If you say "I'm coming, too" as you search your library, you may pay {1B} and reveal Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil from your library to have it deal 2 damage to a player of your choice. Do this no more than once each turn.


Johnny, Combo Player</a>


2UU


Legendary Creature — Human Gamer


(1/1)


{4}: Search your library for a card and put that card into your hand. Then shuffle your library.


 


Keeper of the Sacred Word</a>


2G


Creature — Human Druid


(2/3)


As Keeper of the Sacred Word enters the battlefield, choose a word.
Whenever an opponent says the chosen word, Keeper of the Sacred Word gets +3/+3 until end of turn.


Unhinged Common


Kill Destroy</a>


1BB


Instant


 


Destroy target nonblack creature.
Gotcha Whenever an opponent says "Kill" or "Destroy," you may say "Gotcha" If you do, return Kill Destroy from your graveyard to your hand.


Unhinged Uncommon


Ladies' Knight</a>


3W


Creature — Human Knight


(2/2)


Flying
Spells that players wearing at least one item of women's clothing play cost {1} less to play. (Women's clothing is designed to be worn exclusively by women.)


 


Land Aid '04</a>


GG


Sorcery


 


Search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle your library. If you sang a song the whole time you were searching and shuffling, you may untap that land.


 


Laughing Hyena</a>


1G


Creature — Hyena


(2/2)


Gotcha Whenever an opponent laughs, you may say "Gotcha" If you do, return Laughing Hyena from your graveyard to your hand.


 


Letter Bomb</a>


6


Artifact


 


When Letter Bomb enters the battlefield, if it is signed shuffle it into target player's library. That player reveals each card he or she draws until Letter Bomb is drawn. When that player draws Letter Bomb, it deals 19{1/2} damage to him or her.


If you own Letter bomb, you may sign it anytime it is revealed.


 


Little Girl</a>


 


Creature — Human Child


({1/2}/{1/2})


 


 


Look at Me, I'm R&amp;D</a>


2W


Enchantment


 


As Look at Me, I'm R&D enters the battlefield, choose a number and a second number one higher or one lower than that number.
All instances of the first chosen number on permanents, spells, and cards in any zone are the second chosen number. (This includes mana symbols)


 


Loose Lips</a>


U


Enchantment - Aura 

Enchant creature
As Loose Lips enters the battlefield, choose a sentence with eight or fewer words.
Enchanted creature has flying.
Whenever enchanted creature deals damage to an opponent, you draw two cards unless that player says the chosen sentence.


 


Magical Hacker</a>


1U


Creature — Human Gamer


(1/2)


{U}: Change the text of target spell or permanent by replacing all instances of + with -, and vice versa, until end of turn.


 


Man of Measure</a>


1WW


Creature — Human Knight


(2/2)


As long as you're shorter than an opponent, Man of Measure has first strike and gets +0/+1.
As long as you're taller than an opponent, Man of Measure gets +1/+0.


 


Mana Flair</a>


1R


Instant


 


Add {R} to your mana pool for each nonland permanent illustrated by the artist of your choice.


 


Mana Screw</a>


1


Artifact


 


{1}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add {2} to your mana pool. Activate this ability only any time you could cast an instant.


 


Meddling Kids</a>


2WU


Creature — Human Child


(2/3)


As Meddling Kids enters the battlefield, choose a word with four or more letters.
Nonland cards with the chosen word in their text box can't be casted.


 


Mise</a>


U


Instant


 


Name a nonland card, then reveal the top card of your library. If that card is the named card, draw three cards.


 


Moniker Mage</a>


2U


Creature — Human Wizard


(2/2)


{U}, Say your middle name: Moniker Mage gains shroud until end of turn.
{U}, Say an opponent's middle name: Moniker Mage gains flying until end of turn.


 


Monkey Monkey Monkey</a>


3G


Creature — Ape


(1/1)


As Monkey Monkey Monkey enters the battlefield, choose a letter.
Monkey Monkey Monkey gets +1/+1 for each nonland permanent whose name begins with the chosen letter. (AE counts as A)


 


Mons's Goblin Waiters</a>


R


Creature — Goblin Waiter


(1/1)


Sacrifice a creature or land: Add {o{1/2*R}} to your mana pool.


 


Mother of Goons</a>


2B


Creature — Human Cleric


(3/2)


Whenever a creature an opponent controls is dies, sacrifice Mother of Goons unless you insult that creature.


 


Mouth to Mouth</a>


3U


Sorcery


 


You and target opponent have a breath-holding contest. If you win, you gain control of target creature that player controls.


 


Mox Lotus</a>


15


Artifact


 


{T}: Add {∞} to your mana pool.
{100}: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool.


 


My First Tome</a>


3


Artifact


 


{1}, {T}: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and your opponent guessed wrong, draw a card.


 


Name Dropping</a>


1G


Enchantment


 


Gotcha Whenever an opponent says a word that's in the name of a card in your graveyard, you may say "Gotcha" If you do, return that card to your hand.


 


Necro-Impotence</a>


BBB


Enchantment


 


Skip your untap step.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay X life. If you do, untap X permanents.
Pay {1/2} life: Exile the top card of your library face down. Put that card into your hand at the beginning of your end step.


 


Now I Know My ABC's</a>


1UU


Enchantment


 


At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control permanents with names that include all twenty-six letters of the English alphabet, you win the game.


 


Number Crunch</a>


2U


Instant


 


Return target permanent to its owner's hand.
Gotcha Whenever an opponent says a number, you may say "Gotcha" If you do, return Number Crunch from your graveyard to your hand.


 


Old Fogey</a>


GG


Summon — Dinosaur


(7/7)


Phasing, cumulative upkeep {1}, echo, fading 3, bands with other Dinosaurs, protection from Homarids, snow-covered plainswalk, flanking, rampage 2


 


Orcish Paratroopers</a>


2R


Creature — Orc Paratrooper


(4/4)


When Orcish Paratroopers enters the battlefield, flip it from a height of at least one foot. Sacrifice Orcish Paratroopers unless it lands face up after turning over completely.


 


Our Market Research Shows That Players Like Really Long Card Names So We Made this Card to Have the Absolute Longest Card Name Ever Elemental</a>


1GG


Creature — Elemental


(2/2)


Art rampage 2 (Whenever this becomes blocked by a creature, it gets +2/+2 for each creature in the blocker's art beyond the first.)


 


Persecute Artist</a>


1BB


Sorcery


 


Choose an artist other than Rebecca Guay. Target player reveals his or her hand and discards all nonland illustrated cards by the chosen artist.


 


Phyrexian Librarian</a>


3B


Creature — Horror


(3/3)


Flying, trample
At the beginning of your upkeep, Exile the top card of your library face up and balance it on your body.
When a balanced card falls or touches another balanced card, sacrifice Phyrexian Librarian.


Pointy Finger of Doom</a>


4


Artifact


 


{3}, {T}: Spin Pointy Finger of Doom in the middle of the table so that it rotates completely at least once, then destroy the closest permanent the finger points to.


 


Punctuate</a>


3R


Instant


 


Punctuate deals damage to target creature equal to half the number of punctuation marks in that creature's text box. (The punctuation marks are ?! , ; : - ( ) / " ' & .)


 


Pygmy Giant</a>


1RR


Creature — Giant


(0/2)


{R}, {T}, Sacrifice a creature: Pygmy Giant deals X damage to target creature, where X is a number in the sacrificed creature's text box. (This includes numeric, and written numbers)


 


Question Elemental?</a>


2UU


Creature — Elemental


(3/4)


Flying
Are you aware that when you say something that isn't a question, the player who first points out this fact gains control of Question Elemental?


 


R&amp;D's Secret Lair</a>


 


Legendary Land


 


Play cards as written. Ignore all errata.
{T}: Add {1} to your mana pool.


 


Rare-B-Gone</a>


2BR


Sorcery


 


Each player sacrifices all rare permanents, then reveals his or her hand and discards all rare cards.


 


Red-Hot Hottie</a>


2RR


Creature — Elemental


(2/5)


Whenever Red-Hot Hottie deals damage to a creature, put a third-degree-burn counter on that creature. It has "At the end of each turn, sacrifice this creature unless you scream ‘Aaah' at the top of your lungs."


 


Remodel</a>


2G


Instant


 


If you control two or more green permanents that share an artist, you may play Remodel without paying its mana cost.
Exile target artifact.


 


Richard Garfield, Ph.D.</a>


3UU


Legendary Creature — Human Designer


(2/2)


You may play cards as though they were other Magic cards of your choice with the same mana cost. (Mana cost includes color.) You can't choose the same card twice.


 


Rocket-Powered Turbo Slug</a>


3R


Creature — Slug


(3/1)


Super haste (This may attack the turn before you play it. (You may put this card onto  the battlefield from your hand, tapped and attacking, during your declare attackers step. If you do, you lose the game at the end of your next turn unless you pay this card's mana cost during that turn.))


 


Rod of Spanking</a>


1


Artifact


 


{2}, {T}: Rod of Spanking deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap Rod of Spanking unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"


 


S.N.O.T.</a>


G


Creature — Ooze


(*{^2}/*{^2})


As S.N.O.T. enters the battlefield, you may stick it onto another creature named S.N.O.T. on the battlefield. If you do, treat them as a single creature.
S.N.O.T.'s power and toughness are equal to the square of the number of S.N.O.T.s stuck together. (One is a 1/1, two are a 4/4, three are a 9/9, and four are a 16/16.)


 



1RR


Instant


 


Sauté deals 3{1/2} damage to target creature or player.


 


Save Life</a>


W


Instant


 


Choose one Target player gains 2{1/2} life; or prevent the next 2{1/2} damage that would be dealt to target creature this turn.
Gotcha Whenever an opponent says "Save" or "Life," you may say "Gotcha" If you do, return Save Life from your graveyard to your hand.


 


Shoe Tree</a>


4G


Creature — Treefolk


(3/3)


Shoe Tree enters the battlefield with up to two shoe counters on it. Use your shoes as counters.
Shoe Tree gets +1/+1 for each shoe counter on it.


 


Side to Side</a>


2G


Instant


 


You and target opponent arm-wrestle. If you win, put a 3/3 green Ape creature token onto  the battlefield.


 


Six-y Beast</a>


3R


Creature — Beast


(0/0)


As Six-y Beast enters the battlefield, you secretly put six or fewer +1/+1 counters on it, then an opponent guesses the number of counters on Six-y Beast. If that player guesses right, sacrifice Six-y Beast.


 


Smart Ass</a>


2U


Creature — Donkey Wizard


(2{1/2}/1)


Whenever Smart Ass attacks, name a card. Defending player may reveal his or her hand and show you that the named card isn't in his or her hand. If that player doesn't, Smart Ass is unblockable this turn.


 


Spell Counter</a>


2UU


Instant


 


Counter target spell.
Gotcha Whenever an opponent says "Spell" or "Counter," you may say "Gotcha" If you do, return Spell Counter from your graveyard to your hand.


 


Standing Army</a>


2WW


Creature — Human Soldier


(2/4)


As long as you're standing, Standing Army has vigilance. (Attacking doesn't cause it to tap.)


 


Staying Power</a>


2W


Enchantment


 


As long as Staying Power is on the battlefield, "until end of turn" and "this turn" effects don't end.


 


Stone-Cold Basilisk</a>


4G


Creature — Basilisk


(2{1/2}/5)


Whenever Stone-Cold Basilisk blocks or becomes blocked by a creature with fewer letters in its name, destroy that creature at end of combat. (Punctuation and spaces aren't letters.)
Whenever an opponent reads Stone-Cold Basilisk, that player is turned to stone until end of turn. (Stoned players can't attack, block, cast spells, or activate abilities. )


 


Stop That</a>


B


Instant


 


Target player discards a card.
Gotcha Whenever an opponent audibly flicks the cards in his or her hand, you may say "Gotcha" If you do, return Stop That from your graveyard to your hand.


Super Secret Tech</a>


3


Artifact


 


Premium spells cost {1} less to cast.
Premium creatures get +1/+1.


 


Supersize</a>


1G


Instant


 


Target creature gets +3{1/2}/+3{1/2} until end of turn.


Symbol Status</a>


2GG


Sorcery


 


Put a 1/1 colorless Expansion-Symbol creature token onto the battlefield for each different expansion symbol among permanents you control.


 


Tainted Monkey</a>


1B


Creature — Ape


(1/1)


{T}: Choose a word. Target player puts the top card of his or her library into his or her graveyard. If that card has the chosen word in its text box, that player loses 3 life.


 


The Fallen Apart</a>


2BB


Creature — Zombie


(4/4)


The Fallen Apart enters the battlefield with two arm counters and two leg counters.
Whenever damage is dealt to The Fallen Apart, remove an arm counter or a leg counter from it.
The Fallen Apart can't attack if it has no leg counters and can't block if it has no arm counters.


 


Time Machine</a>


5


Artifact


 


{T}: Remove Time Machine and target nontoken creature you own from the game. Return both cards to the battlefield at the beginning of your upkeep on your turn X of the next game you play with the same opponent, where X is the removed creature's converted mana cost.


 


Togglodyte</a>


3


Artifact Creature — Golem


(4/4)


Togglodyte enters the battlefield on.
Whenever a player plays a spell, toggle Togglodyte's ON/OFF status.
As long as Togglodyte is off, it can't attack or block, and all damage it would deal is prevented.


 


Topsy Turvy</a>


2U


Enchantment


 


The phases of each player's turn are reversed. (The phases are, in reverse order, end, postcombat main, combat, precombat main, and beginning.)
If there are more than two players in the game, the turn order is reversed.


 


Touch and Go</a>


3R


Sorcery


 


Destroy target land.
Gotcha Whenever an opponent touches his or her face, you may say "Gotcha" If you do, return Touch and Go from your graveyard to your hand.


 


Toy Boat</a>


3


Artifact Creature — Ship


(3/3)


Cumulative upkeep—Say "Toy Boat" quickly. (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on Toy Boat, then sacrifice it unless you say "Toy Boat" once for each age counter on it—without pausing between or fumbling it.)


 


Uktabi Kong</a>


5GGG


Creature — Ape


(8/8)


Trample
When Uktabi Kong enters the battlefield, destroy all artifacts.
Tap two untapped Apes you control: Put a 1/1 green Ape creature token onto the battlefield.


 


Urza's Hot Tub</a>


2


Artifact


 


{2}, Discard a card: Search your library for a card that shares a complete word in its name with the discarded card, reveal it, and put it into your hand. Then shuffle your library.


 


Vile Bile</a>


1B


Creature — Ooze


(2{1/2}/2{1/2})


Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches Vile Bile, that player loses 2 life. (This includes it’s controller.)


 


Water Gun Balloon Game</a>


2


Artifact


 


As Water Gun Balloon Game enters the battlefield, each player puts a pop counter on a 0.
Whenever a player casts a spell, move that player's pop counter up 1.
Whenever a player's pop counter hits 5, that player puts a 5/5 pink Giant Teddy Bear creature token onto the battlefield and resets all pop counters to 0.


 


Wet Willie of the Damned</a>


2BB


Sorcery


 


Wet Willie of the Damned deals 2{1/2} damage to target creature or player and you gain 2{1/2} life.


 


When Fluffy Bunnies Attack</a>


3B


Instant


 


Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of times the letter of your choice appears in that creature's name.


 


Who/What/When/Where/Why</a>


 


Instant


 


Who
oXoW
Instant
Target player gains X life.
-----
What
o2oR
Instant
Destroy target artifact.
-----
When
o2oU
Instant
Counter target creature spell.
-----
Where
o3oB
Instant
Destroy target land.
-----
Why
o1oG
Instant
Destroy target enchantment.


 


Wordmail</a>


W


Enchantment - Aura

Enchant Creature 
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each word in its name.


 


Working Stiff</a>


1B


Creature — Mummy


(2/2)


As Working Stiff enters the battlefield, straighten your arms.
When you bend an elbow, sacrifice Working Stiff.


 


World-Bottling Kit</a>


5


Artifact
{5}, Sacrifice World-Bottling Kit: Choose a Magic set. Remove from the game all permanents with that set's expansion symbol except for basic lands.


 

3RR
Enchantment 


All creatures have haste.
Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.
Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.


 


Zombie Fanboy</a>


2B


Creature — Zombie Gamer


(1/1)


As Zombie Fanboy enters the battlefield, choose an artist.
Whenever a permanent illustrated by the chosen artist dies, put two +1/+1 counters on Zombie Fanboy.



Zzzyxas's Abyss</a>


 1BB


Enchantment


 


At the beginning of your upkeep, destroy all nonland permanents with the first name alphabetically among nonland permanents on the battlefield.



[sblock]
… and then, the squirrels came.
..."window.parent.tinyMCE.get('post_content').onLoad.dispatch();" contenteditable="true" />








\_____\


/1U/


Creature — Shapeshifter


(1/1)


{1}: This card's name becomes the name of your choice. You may activate this ability anytime this card is revealed in the game.


 




 


Ambiguity


2UU


Enchantment


 


Whenever a player casts a spell that could counter spell on the stack, that player chooses one – The next time a player casts a spell, counter it, or choose a permanent with at least one counter on it. Put an additional counter of that type on it.


Whenever a player casts a spell that enters the battlefield with counters, that player chooses one – The next time a player casts a spell, counter it, or choose a permanent with at least one counter on it. Put an additional counter of that type on it.


 





Okay, I only get to here and I'm seeing a major problem with what you're trying to do. You're attempting to template the cards accurately. In my opinion, updating terminology is a good thing, but for an Un-card, top priority should be maintaining the joke. _____, for instance, (mal)functions perfectly within the rules. hange "Play this ability" to "Activate this ability" and the card is good.

And frankly, if you're trying to template out what Ambiguity does, you have done something very, very wrong.
Rules Nut Advisor
I prefer this rules text forAmbiguity.  Unfortunately, we can't use the ambiguity of "plays a card" vs "comes into play", but I think this is still pretty confusing.

Whenever a player casts a spell that could counter a spell or would enter the battlefield with counters on it, that player chooses one -- the next time a player casts a spell, counter it; or put an additional counter on a permanent of a kind already there.

Here's a first pass at Unhinged.




A couple of sightings:
Autocard would help

Zzzyxas's Abyss should say "on the battlefield" (not "in the battlefield")

"dies" should replace "creature goes to the graveyard from the battlefield"

"Enchant Creature" cards should be Auras
 
Okay, I only get to here and I'm seeing a major problem with what you're trying to do. You're attempting to template the cards accurately. In my opinion, updating terminology is a good thing, but for an Un-card, top priority should be maintaining the joke. _____, for instance, (mal)functions perfectly within the rules. hange "Play this ability" to "Activate this ability" and the card is good.



If you are going to update the oracle text for cards, you might as well update them properly. I'm not going to ingore Ambiguity because "play" happens to be used for a joke. Either you update the cards with modern termology (which includes modern templating) or you don't.

I'm not going to get into all the arguement for why Un-cards should be treated with the same respect and care as other non-silver borderered cards, but it comes down to the fact that i think alot of people enjoy playing with these cards.

Since Oracle is the go to place for when you want to understand what a card does, I think it should be as clear as possible. Even if i have to get rid of a joke which is confusing to players.
… and then, the squirrels came.
Okay, I only get to here and I'm seeing a major problem with what you're trying to do. You're attempting to template the cards accurately. In my opinion, updating terminology is a good thing, but for an Un-card, top priority should be maintaining the joke. _____, for instance, (mal)functions perfectly within the rules. hange "Play this ability" to "Activate this ability" and the card is good.



If you are going to update the oracle text for cards, you might as well update them properly. I'm not going to ingore Ambiguity because "play" happens to be used for a joke. Either you update the cards with modern termology (which includes modern templating) or you don't.

I'm not going to get into all the arguement for why Un-cards should be treated with the same respect and care as other non-silver borderered cards, but it comes down to the fact that i think alot of people enjoy playing with these cards.

Since Oracle is the go to place for when you want to understand what a card does, I think it should be as clear as possible. Even if i have to get rid of a joke which is confusing to players.



I would agree with you if the Un-cards had ever used normal Magic templating. They clearly and deliberately didn't. I mean, really? You've got Atinlay Igpay's rules text written out in English? At a certain point, you aren't trying to update the Un-cards, you're trying to turn them into black-bordered.

Should they be treated with the same care as slack-bordered cards? Yes, they absolutely should. But they should not be treated with the same respect. The Un-cards are fundamentally humorous and irreverent. Part of treating them with care is making sure not to respect them. They are designed as jokes. If you eliminate the joke to make the card "clearer", you might as well kill the card.

Long story short, I think the best way to update the Un-cards is to do the absolute minimum possible. Change Exile, Dies, Battlefield, all the terminology changes like that. Definitely make them Auras with "Enchant Creature", and the creatures Creatures. But some of the cards never worked within the rules, never will, and were never intended to. Don't do them the disservice of trying to make them.
Rules Nut Advisor
I have very mixed feelings about Un- card errata.

Fixing errors in the transcriptions is a no-brainer.  There isn't any sense in which Cheap Ass lacking its {1/2} is more correct, and there isn't any sense in which Goblin Bookie's "oR, ocT" is more correct than ", ".  Those things should definitely be fixed.

However, after that, the next obvious change would be to take Unglued over the Sixth Edition threshold and both sets over the M10 threshold.  This is probably what most people expect from a potential Un- set wording update.  In most cases, the changes would both be necessary (since the old terms no longer have any meaning in Magic) and easy to fix (since there's usually a fixed algorithm for converting the old wording to the new).  For example, "interrupt" would become "instant", "enchant X" would become "Aura with enchant X", "play" would become "cast" or "activate" where appropriate, etc.  That would make the cards much more understandable and easier to search for (right now, searching Gatherer for Un- creature cards will result in "Enchant Creature" but not "Summon X").

The problem is that even this would hurt some Un- cards.  AWOL doesn't work if the zone is named "exile", and Ambiguity wouldn't be nearly as ambiguous if "play"/"in play" is changed to "cast"/"on the battlefield".  Also, while Unglued cards had "Summon X" just because it was pre-Sixth, Old Fogey uses it intentionally despite being printed post-Sixth.

There's also the issue of creature types.   There are types that are wrong just because they're outdated, types that are reasonable enough that they would just be added to the list of creature types if Un- sets were included in that, and types that are intentionally wrong/silly.  This makes it difficult to know what would be appropriate to change.  It might also be worth mentioning that Chickens have tribal interactions in Unglued, while in real Magic, they'd be Birds.

It shouldn't need to be said, but I'm opposed to generally treating Un- cards as real Magic cards that happened to accidentally be printed wrong, such that errata can fix them.


Should they be treated with the same care as slack-bordered cards? Yes, they absolutely should. But they should not be treated with the same respect. 


I think you should definitely treat them with the same respect, but a large part of that respect is letting them do their own thing and leaving their jokes intact.

Zammm = Batman.

It's my sig in a box
58280208 wrote:
Everything is better when you read it in Bane's voice.
192334281 wrote:
Your human antics and desire to continue living have moved me. Just kidding. You cannot move me physically or emotionally. Wall humor.
57092228 wrote:
Copy effects work like a photocopy machine: you get a copy of the 'naked' card, NOT of what's on it.
56995928 wrote:
Funny story: InQuest Magazine (I think it was InQuest) had an oversized Chaos Orb which I totally rooked someone into allowing into a (non-sanctioned) game. I had a proxy card that was a Mountain with "Chaos Orb" written on it. When I played it, my opponent cried foul: Him: "WTF? a Proxy? no-one said anything about Proxies. Do you even own an actual Chaos Orb?" Me: "Yes, but I thought it would be better to use a Proxy." Him: "No way. If you're going to put a Chaos Orb in your deck you have to use your actual Chaos Orb." Me: "*Sigh*. Okay." I pulled out this huge Chaos Orb and placed it on the table. He tried to cry foul again but everyone else said he insisted I use my actual Chaos Orb and that was my actual Chaos Orb. I used it, flipped it and wiped most of his board. Unsurprisingly, that only worked once and only because everyone present thought it was hilarious.
My DM on Battleminds:
no, see i can kill defenders, but 8 consecutive crits on a battlemind, eh walk it off.
144543765 wrote:
195392035 wrote:
Hi guys! So, I'm a sort of returning player to Magic. I say sort of because as a child I had two main TCG's I liked. Yu-Gi-Oh, and Pokemon. Some of my friends branched off in to Magic, and I bought two pre-made decks just to kind of fit in. Like I said, Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon were what I really knew how to play. I have a extensive knowledge of deck building in those two TCG's. However, as far as Magic is concerned, I only ever used those two pre made decks. I know how the game is played, and I know general things, but now I want to get in the game for real. I want to begin playing it as a regular. My question is, are all cards ever released from the time of the inception of this game until present day fair game in a deck? Or are there special rules? Are some cards forbidden or restricted? Thanks guys, and I will gladly accept ANY help lol.
I have the same problem with women.
117639611 wrote:
198869283 wrote:
Oh I have a standing rule. If someone plays a Planeswalker I concede the game. I refuse to play with or against people who play Planeswalkers. They really did ruin the game.
A turn two Tibalt win?! Wicked... Betcha don't see that everyday.

The Pony Co. 

Is this my new ego sig? Yes it is, other Barry
57461258 wrote:
And that's why you should never, ever call RP Jesus on being a troll, because then everyone else playing along gets outed, too, and the thread goes back to being boring.
57461258 wrote:
See, this is why RPJesus should be in charge of the storyline. The novel line would never have been cancelled if he had been running the show. Specifically the Slobad and Geth's Head talkshow he just described.
57461258 wrote:
Not only was that an obligatory joke, it was an on-topic post that still managed to be off-topic due to thread derailment. RP Jesus does it again folks.
92481331 wrote:
I think I'm gonna' start praying to Jesus... That's right, RPJesus, I'm gonna' be praying to you, right now. O' Jesus Please continue to make my time here on the forums fun and cause me to chuckle. Amen.
92481331 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
It was wonderful. Us Johnnies had a field day. That Timmy with the Grizzly bears would actually have to think about swinging into your Mogg Fanatic, giving you time to set up your silly combo. Nowadays it's all DERPSWING! with thier blue jeans and their MP3 players and their EM EM OH AR PEE JEES and their "Dewmocracy" and their children's card games and their Jersey Shores and their Tattooed Tenaged Vampire Hunters from Beverly Hills
Seriously, that was amazing. I laughed my *ss off. Made my day, and I just woke up.
[quote=ArtVenn You're still one of my favorite people... just sayin'.[/quote]
56756068 wrote:
56786788 wrote:
.....would it be a bit blasphemous if I said, "PRAYSE RPJAYSUS!" like an Evangelical preacher?
Perhaps, but who doesn't like to blaspheme every now and again? Especially when Mr. RPJesus is completely right.
56756068 wrote:
I don't say this often, but ... LOL
57526128 wrote:
You... You... Evil something... I actualy made the damn char once I saw the poster... Now you made me see it again and I gained resolve to put it into my campaign. Shell be high standing oficial of Cyrix order. Uterly mad and only slightly evil. And it'll be bad. Evil even. And ill blame you and Lizard for it :P.
57042968 wrote:
111809331 wrote:
I'm trying to work out if you're being sarcastic here. ...
Am going to stop you right there... it's RPJesus... he's always sarcastic
58335208 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
112114441 wrote:
we can only hope it gets the jace treatment...it could have at least been legendary
So that even the decks that don't run it run it to deal with it? Isn't that like the definition of format warping?
I lol'd.
56287226 wrote:
98088088 wrote:
Uktabi Orangutan What the heck's going on with those monkeys?
The most common answer is that they are what RPJesus would call "[Debutantes avert your eyes]ing."
56965458 wrote:
Show
57461258 wrote:
116498949 wrote:
I’ve removed content from this thread because off-topic discussions are a violation of the Code of Conduct. You can review the Code here: www.wizards.com/Company/About.aspx?x=wz_... Please keep your posts polite, on-topic, and refrain from making personal attacks. You are welcome to disagree with one another but please do so respectfully and constructively. If you wish to report a post for Code of Conduct violation, click on the “Report Post” button above the post and this will submit your report to the moderators on duty.
...Am I the only one that thinks this is reaching the point of downright Kafkaesque insanity?
I condone the use of the word Kafkaesque. However, I'm presentely ambivalent. I mean, that can't be serious, right? We're April 1st, right? They didn't mod RPJesus for off-topic discussion when the WHOLE THREAD IS OFF-TOPIC, right? Right.
57545908 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
Save or die. If you disagree with this, you're wrong (Not because of any points or arguements that have been made, but I just rolled a d20 for you and got a 1, so you lose).
58397368 wrote:
58222628 wrote:
This just won the argument, AFAIC.
That's just awesome.
57471038 wrote:
57718868 wrote:
HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THE BEAR PRODUCING WORDS OF WILDING?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!
That's what RPJesus tends to do. That's why I don't think he's a real person, but some Magic Card Archive Server sort of machine, that is programmed to react to other posters' comments with obscure cards that do in fact exist, but somehow missed by even the most experienced Magic players. And then come up with strange combos with said cards. All of that is impossible for a normal human to do given the amount of time he does it and how often he does it. He/It got me with Light of Sanction, which prompted me to go to RQ&A to try and find if it was even possible to do combat damage to a creature I control (in light that Mark of Asylum exists).
71235715 wrote:
+10
100176878 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
57078538 wrote:
heaven or hell.
Round 1. Lets rock.
GG quotes! RPJesus just made this thread win!
56906968 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
143359585 wrote:
Blue players get all the overpowerered cards like JTMS. I think it's time that wizards gave something to people who remember what magic is really about: creatures.
Initially yes, Wizards was married to blue. However, about a decade ago they had a nasty divorce, and a few years after that they began courting the attention of Green. Then in Worldwake they had a nasty affair with their ex, but as of Innistrad, things seem to have gotten back on track, and Wizards has even proposed.
You are my favorite. Yes you. And moments like this make it so. Thank you RPJesus for just being you.
On what flavor text fits me:
57307308 wrote:
Surely RPJesus gets Niv-Mizzet, Dracogenius?
56874518 wrote:
First: I STILL can't take you seriously with that avatar. And I can take RPJesus seriously, so that's saying something.
121689989 wrote:
I'd offer you a cookie for making me laugh but it has an Upkeep Cost that has been known to cause people to quit eating.
56267956 wrote:
I <3 you loads
57400888 wrote:
56957928 wrote:
"AINT NO LAWS IN THE SKY MOTHER****." - Agrus Kos, Wojek Veteran
10/10. Amazing.
I would just like to see "Kill! Destroy!" fixed, in that currently it is in Gatherer as Kill Destroy -- both in the name and in the card text -- completely ignoring the exclamation marks.
I have very mixed feelings about Un- card errata.

Fixing errors in the transcriptions is a no-brainer... [snip]

I'm with adeyke.

1: They should absolutely, definitely fix all transcription errors in Un-cards: Cheap Ass, Goblin Bookie etc.

2: There would be definite benefits to applying the 6E and M10 terminology updates to Un-cards: in particular searchability and comprehensibility. 

2a: However, there are some cards whose joke would be lost: AWOL, Ambiguity and Old Fogey in particular.

I personally think that if Master of Arms has eventually lost his little pocket of pre-6E rules that used to follow him around, maybe it's time to let those three cards lose their jokes for the sake of making the rest of their sets more accessible. 

Alternatively, leave out the updates to those three but apply the terminology updates everywhere else.

As for creature types, I'd advocate they leave the original printed card types wherever possible - keep B.F.M. as "The Biggest, Baddest, Nastiest, Scariest Creature You'll Ever See", keep Miss Demeanor as a Lady of Proper Etiquette, keep Poultrygeist as a Chicken and Clam Session as a Clamfolk. Standardise Goblin Bookie and Goblin Bowling Team as both "Creature - Goblin" (not "Goblins"). Gus I don't know - I'm sure you could leave him as Gus without causing any problems.

Turn Timmy, Power Gamer into a Legendary Creature, and then either give him no subtypes or match Johnny, Combo Player in being a Human Gamer; and figure something similar out for Jalum Grifter ("Legendary Creature - Efreet Rogue" appears to be the recommendation of the Gatherer commenting community).
I agree with adeyke and TranscientMaster here. When it comes to Un-cards, proper templating should take a back seat to maintaining the joke, just as it did when the cards were first printed. While we can and should correct errors like the missing 1/2 symbols and update the templating, when the wording was a deliberate choice to further the card's joke, we shouldn't risk the joke just for the sake of a proper modern template.

Come join me at No Goblins Allowed


Because frankly, being here depresses me these days.

I had this problem when me and a few friends had a random draft there was 3 of most editions and 1 ingles and unhinged and would grab a random pack out of a bag aand draft what we picked. The problems we had was that the un-cards had not had a rules update witch made us decide what was the correct action by voting and dissusing what would happen it was a pain in the but to do so. On cards like ambiguity sould have sub oracle that explain what stuff dose outside of the joke. Like oricaled oracle.
I am Red/Black
I am Red/Black
Take The Magic Dual Colour Test - Beta today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.
I am both selfish and chaotic. I value self-gratification and control; I want to have things my way, preferably now. At best, I'm entertaining and surprising; at worst, I'm hedonistic and violent.
I disagree with keeping around old templating just to preserve the joke: if people are interested in the joke, that's what the physical card and printed text is for. The Oracle text is for people who are confused about how the card actually works, and part of that means updating the templating to the modern format they're used to.
Well there are several different ways of looking at Un-cards. Are they real magic cards designed for a casual format? Are they jokes that happen to be magic cards? Which view you take changes how you'd want to edit these cards.

Then there is a question about Oracle, and the purpose of proper templating.

THen again, Un-cards are from a casual format, so it makes sense to have different updating policies then black bordered cards. On the other hand, these cards are designed to be played with black bordered cards, so they should be capatible.

Perhaps we can come to some agreement to keep some of the confusing/amgibious phrases, but add rulings to the cards in oracle so that players trying to figure out what they do will actually find the answerers.



I think we agree on most cards, and we can hash out the 30 or so controversal cards.
… and then, the squirrels came.
Well there are several different ways of looking at Un-cards. Are they real magic cards designed for a casual format? Are they jokes that happen to be magic cards? Which view you take changes how you'd want to edit these cards.

Then there is a question about Oracle, and the purpose of proper templating.

THen again, Un-cards are from a casual format, so it makes sense to have different updating policies then black bordered cards. On the other hand, these cards are designed to be played with black bordered cards, so they should be capatible.

Perhaps we can come to some agreement to keep some of the confusing/amgibious phrases, but add rulings to the cards in oracle so that players trying to figure out what they do will actually find the answerers.



I think we agree on most cards, and we can hash out the 30 or so controversal cards.

I just don't see why we don't just do both humor oracle and real oracle? I know it would be more of a pain in the butt, it would keep it to likeings of both groups. I am want both because they are funny but sometimes you just need to know what they really do.
I am Red/Black
I am Red/Black
Take The Magic Dual Colour Test - Beta today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.
I am both selfish and chaotic. I value self-gratification and control; I want to have things my way, preferably now. At best, I'm entertaining and surprising; at worst, I'm hedonistic and violent.
I just don't see why we don't just do both humor oracle and real oracle? I know it would be more of a pain in the butt, it would keep it to likeings of both groups. I am want both because they are funny but sometimes you just need to know what they really do.



Well we would arleady have that. Orcale gives the current and printed wording of each card.
… and then, the squirrels came.
Now I think about it if you want to laugh look at the cards if you want to play look at oracle makes scenes to me
I am Red/Black
I am Red/Black
Take The Magic Dual Colour Test - Beta today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.
I am both selfish and chaotic. I value self-gratification and control; I want to have things my way, preferably now. At best, I'm entertaining and surprising; at worst, I'm hedonistic and violent.
Or put the stuff from the FAQ (or whatever it was called) into the rulings, since they essentially are the rulings issued by Maro.

Searchability is a problem when it comes to Old Fogey. Creature types should be preserved, unless the Type was just "Legend".
[c]Forest[/c] gives you Forest
If people are confused by the old wording, I think that's a legitimate concern.  A newer player might not have any idea what an "Interrupt" even is and would be seriously thrown off by Unglued's pre-Sixth wording.

However, if the question is something like "How does this card actually work in the context of Magic?", the answer is often "It doesn't."  These cards don't function within the rules and often intentionally violate them.  Goblin Bookie, for example, wants you to be able to just activate its ability any time you flip a coin or roll a die, before the consequence of that flip/roll happens.  The concept is very easy to explain, but the timing rules of Magic don't and can't allow that.

Even when the cards are templated properly, they often don't mean the same thing that template would mean in real Magic.  Goblin S.W.A.T. Team, for example, wants its controller to say "Goblin S.W.A.T. Team" and then give the creature a +1/+1 counter within five seconds of that announcement, unless the opponent swats the table.  In real Magic, however, the player needs to make a real announcement that they're activating the ability, and the opponent then gets priority to respond to it.  It's only after they choose to let it resolves that the five second timer starts.

Similarly, Gotcha wants there to be an immediate gotcha moment when the player takes that wrong action (e.g. "Blaze for 3--" "Gotcha!").  What it actually means is that the Gotcha ability will trigger each time that action takes place, and the next time a player would get priority, the triggered ability will go on the stack (if a player controls more than one, they then have to make a choice about the ordering).  Then, when the ability resolves, the player gets the choice to say "Gotcha" or not.

Planechase and Archenemy are casual variants, but they still try to be serious.  The cards use proper templating and the variants come with actual rules to define their interactions.  I don't think we've yet seen errata for those cards, but it would make sense for them to get them when needed (I'm still hoping Bant will get changed from "as long as" to the proper "for as long as").

Un- isn't like that.  It's just silly.  If you put an Un- card in your deck just because you think its power level is good and that it'll help you win, you're doing it wrong.  Ditto if you find yourself looking an Un- card up in Gatherer in the middle of a game because the exact functionality could determine the winner.  The point is to laugh at the silly cards, enjoy doing things that wouldn't happen in a serious Magic game, make your opponent do ridiculous things, etc.  If you can't figure out what Bureaucracy is trying to do, that's precisely why they worded it in legalese; it's part of the experience.

The Oracle text of a card is the text it should have and the text it would have if it were reprinted now.  The latest Animate Dead shows that they take this seriously, even if the result is hideous.  If giving a joke card a certain text would end up ruining its joke, that means that's not an option for the Oracle text.

Normally, it'd be a great idea to use the rulings section to clarify any confusion that could arise from the Oracle text.  However, Un- cards shouldn't have rulings.  There's a certain legitimacy given to Gatherer rulings.  People see those and expect to be able to get some understanding of the underlying rules and to be able to make connections with other rules.  That is, they expect the rulings to say how a card actually works, not how it would work if it did work (even though it actually doesn't).  If that section was used, it would need to be renamed on Un- cards to something less official-sounding, like "Explanation".

(I also really don't like being put in the position of needing to defend Un- cards in any way.  I really don't like them in concept or in practice, and I'd much prefer if they didn't exist at all.  If it actually were possible to get rid of the Un-ness and make them just another part of Magic, in the same way as Portal, I'd love that, but it's simply not possible.  They don't fit, and trying to force a fit would make them lose whatever value they have.)
-snip-


Rules Nut Advisor
It's a shame I didn't get to this thread sooner but I've been out of town. I could've saved you guys some work. This project is on my radar, but in addition to its admittedly low importance, there are some database challenges to making it happen. Nothing major, but Un sets having no Oracle text is an obstacle.

So, as I silently annex Un-landia, here are the priorities:

1. No joke left behind. If an update would kill a joke, we find another way.
2. Make new jokes as opportunities present themselves.
3. Have the cards make more sense to the modern Magic player.

I'm actually about 40% through the cards, chipping away in my spare time. (See, spare time. New jokes!) Not sure when it'll happen, but not overly soon. Waiting until April might be worth it, even if it's done much sooner. What do you guys think?
I think you are my favorite people ever!

Xweetoks = ♥Happiness

Waiting until April might be worth it, even if it's done much sooner. What do you guys think?

Worth it. 100%.

Come join me at No Goblins Allowed


Because frankly, being here depresses me these days.

Great!

I don't understand why Adeyke would rather prefer that they do not exist however - what has Hairy Ass done to you?
[c]Forest[/c] gives you Forest
2. Make new jokes as opportunities present themselves.

This is possibly the best idea ever.

Waiting until April might be worth it, even if it's done much sooner. What do you guys think?

This is a close second.
Rules Nut Advisor
I'm fully on board with Matt Tabak's Un-set project. I just want to clarify a few details.

(1) Matt's role on the project is editor, not rules manager, and he's using a light touch. Cards that didn't work under the Magic rules before will continue to not work under the Magic rules. Fun will be preserved.

(2) Part of the motivation behind the project is to clean up how Gatherer searches interact with Un cards. Right now, if you search for green creatures with rules text contains the words "comes," "into," and "play," you get a list of results that contains Monkey Monkey Monkey but neither Elvish Impersonators (it has type "summon") nor the black-bordered card you were probably trying to search for. That's a pretty bizarre result.

(3) Nothing my team is doing will fix the display errors in Gatherer mentioned earlier in this thread. The data is correct on our side of things. DailyMTG.com editor-in-chief Trick Jarrett has been recently named the product owner for Gatherer. If anyone has feedback about how Gatherer can be improved, I suggest sending it his way. One way to contact him is through his Twitter account @TrickMTG.

Del Laugel

Editing manager, Magic TCG

I like this idea. Magic is a complex game, and arguments about the rules are inevitable. The fact that these cards don't actually have real resolutions pokes fun at this, and to me it's the best part of the joke.

In Un-land, you can win games by talking your opponent into seeing the rules your way, or just by having the most people on your side. "How does Goblin S.W.A.T. Team's ability interact with the stack?" is a question that has no answer, and that's a part of Unhinged that I'd rather not lose.
Welll here's my suggested for an updated oracle text for Unglued. Unhinge in awhile.



B.F.M. (Big Furry Monster)



Creature — {Beast}


99/99


(If both halves of B.F.M. are in your hand, you may teat them as one card. If both halves of B.F.M. are on the stack or on the battlefield treat them as one card. Otherwise treat B.F.M. as blank black cards.)


B.F.M. can't be blocked except by three or more creatures.


 


I don't like that implementation. I used to victimize BFM back, and living death and Living End and whatnot should work with it IMO.
All Generalizations are Bad
I don't like that implementation. I used to victimize BFM back, and living death and Living End and whatnot should work with it IMO.



The Right side of BFM isn't a creature card.

I just looked up BFM in gatherer, very nice.

It's a shame I didn't get to this thread sooner but I've been out of town. I could've saved you guys some work. This project is on my radar, but in addition to its admittedly low importance, there are some database challenges to making it happen. Nothing major, but Un sets having no Oracle text is an obstacle. So, as I silently annex Un-landia, here are the priorities: 1. No joke left behind. If an update would kill a joke, we find another way. 2. Make new jokes as opportunities present themselves. 3. Have the cards make more sense to the modern Magic player. I'm actually about 40% through the cards, chipping away in my spare time. (See, spare time. New jokes!) Not sure when it'll happen, but not overly soon. Waiting until April might be worth it, even if it's done much sooner. What do you guys think?



Any chance that Silver bordered cards will be included in the Comp. rulebook? Even if it's just the "Don't be a jerk" rule.

Waiting for April 1st would be worth it. Plus, i think you'll need all that time to figure out AWOL and Ambiguity
… and then, the squirrels came.