You might be playing DnD wrong if...

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Credit goes to monkeygentleman for starting this.

You might be playing DnD wrong if...

 - you wield a dagger as a barbarian (without specializing in it, and even then...)
 - your barbarian wants to play an arcane class with barbarian stats
 - you think being able to undo all of the damage the monsters were throwing out (as a pacifist cleric) trivializes combat
 - you can pick between two of your stats for your main at-will, and pick the lower of the two
 - burst and blast attacks are cheating, because they let you hit more than one enemy at a time
 - twin strike is cheating, because it lets you hit more than one enemy at a time
 - hitting on an 8 with CA is cheating (but you still get frustrated when you haven't landed a hit in three sessions)
 - you have a TPK every few months (and you're not playing fourthcore) 
 - you think the only way to be an assassin character is by choosing the assassin class
 - you think descriptions and fluff affect gameplay (eg. "I can't use sieze and stab, I'm using a hammer!")
 - you think intimidating characters should have super low charisma, because charisma is a positive trait, right?
- you should use theivery to check for traps because they are traps you know? 
You lose one character in 5 years, and respond by pulling off the top build from DPR Kings to play.
- You have 3 Stats at 16 at 1st level, and are not an avenger.
- Your fighter has a 14-post racial str,because you see him as a more swashbuckerling type and put all your stats points into Cha and Dex instead.  ("I'll pick up Weapon Finesse, and be fine")
- Your build requires 2 different weapons, one specific implement, and 3 attack-caliber stats. 
-  The only enemies you can defeat consistently are all properly represented by miniature plastic, pink flamingos.
- Y
our Elf archer ranger is wearing bracers of brachiation and has an 18 dex. At level 14.
You're the only one in the party with any flavor of expertise feat.
- You're a Moonstalker (PP) and you keep running away from melee with prone targets after your turn. True story.
(3.5e) - You're a Wizard, and you think that if you can't deal damage to the enemy with your spells, running away is the best option. Which you proceed to do. With Teleport. Alone.
- You're a fighter wielding orbs or cookware.
-  You miss on a roll of 10+
- You think flanking is virtually the only way to get CA.
- Your non-Striker does no damage, because damage is the "striker's job."
- You begin combat #5 with 3 action points because you are holding on to them for when you need them.
- You're playing a Paladin, and you refuse to move up and hit the prone, bloodied Wight who is the sole remaining creature.
- You're playing a Paladin, and you run away. 
- You spend more time at the table talking about how awesome that new feat you're going to pick up in 4 levels is than actually playing the game.
- You actually do cast Magic Missile on the dark.
- If the Gazebo actually kills you. 
- If you think you have to make a character mechanically suck to be a good role player.
- You're a member of a class where a non-attack stat that is not boosted by your race is higher than your primary attack stat that is boosted by your race. 
- You think Thicket of Blades is the best heroic power EVAR.
- You charge the immobilized melee monster that's 4 squares away from any PC, and provoke OA's on the way. 
- You refuse to use a Proning Power on an Ooze or other legless monster because you think it won't Prone it. 
-  You're playing an Elf Cleric who stays at range 20 using RBAs, because that's what Elves do!
- You save Backstab for when you roll low enough to miss on a charging thief that hits on 2s.
- You still try to optimize Magic Missile in Heroic.
- You think Ensnaring is the best Aegis.
- Your Sorcerer's Will isn't higher than any other Defense.
- You think Clerics are the best at Religion.
- You make a Darklock and wear Plate and Heavy Shield (without proficiency), because you want to make a "Dark Knight"
- You play an Assassin class PC because you want to be the best at killing things  
- Your swordmage wields a club.
- You make a Bugbear monk because you want to use Oversized for the unarmed strike.
- You make an intimidate check on an NPC with a bloodied nose.    
- You died, permanently, because when you had 3 hp and 2 failed death saves you decided to "finish off" the near-dead solo that was standing adjacent...by using a ranged daily power. Also, you are a Straladin, and the striker is next in initiative.
You think a Cavalier who is unmounted is a fun class and a solid defender.
- No one is having fun.
- You are the only one having fun. 
- You think the way you play is the only correct way
- You believe a Monk's Wisdom should be higher than her Dexterity. 
- You think that a Paladin with decent fortitude is "lame" and too much like a Paladin, so you tank it. (True story)
-  You use Ulban's Shining Cloak (or similar powers) and aren't missed.
- You use Kelwyn's Final Devastation with the Robe of the Archmage unironically as your first attack of the day.
- You use 
- You don't bother healing during a short rest because, as a dragonborn, you're "stronger when you're bloodied!"
You play a rogue and never get your sneak attack off........at Paragon.  (True Story)
You're playing a Defender class and think the best way to make yourself a target is to intentionally tank your defenses.
You're playing a Controller and think you are being helpful by sliding/pushing/pulling/teleporting the Swordmage's marked target adjacent to him every time the Swordmage gets some distance.  Especially when you think the swordmage doesn't know what he is doing by leaving his marked because he keeps doing that and asking you to stop, repeatedly.  (True and very annoying story).
- You attack after the Warlord sets up a painful set of conditions on the Elite/Solo target supplying +Attack and +Dmg, BUT you NOVA on any target other then the Elite/Solo with the debuffs.
- You see a floating treasure chest in a dungeon hallway, and immediately rush fowards to open it despite everyone else's facepalm and the DM asking "Are you sure?".  (My first ever DnD game ... dang Gelatinous Cube.  I was young and stupid.)
Your Barbarian misses one of the endlessly-spawning minions, and spends an Action Point to try and kill it (true story, even the DM facepalmed on that one). 
- Your next character is going to be a Minotaur Psion.
- Warforged Paladin took Alchemical Blood: Necrotic to gain 1 point of extra damage on a daily. Feats are precious, my friends. I facepalmed. 
- Fighter kicked open the door to the goblin torture chamber, turned around, dropped trou and mooned the goblins for his surprise round. Got a hot poker where the sun don't shine and then was shoved into an iron maiden for his efforts. Just because you've got hilariously low Int and Wis doesn't mean you have to be suicidal :P
You wonder what Gelatinous Cubes taste like, and decide to find out.
- You are dead (unless you're a revenat).
- You're playing a vampire that sparkles in the sunshine ... and unlives on.
- 5 of the 6 enemies are bloodied and no one in the party is using aoe.
- Your rogue is a (living) half-elf Brutal Scoundrel, who tanks both Str and Dex and, rather than using his powers, insists on making melee basic attacks... with a greatsword. 
- You spend a Daily attack power only to find out that you just wasted it on a minion. (True Story)
You take Arcane Mutterings ... on a Sorcerer.
- You retrain into Wall of Water, and Water to Ice in Epic.
You take standard-action single-attack encounter and daily powers ... on a Ranger. (Yes, believe it or not, there are people who actually do this.)
- You're playing a vampire, at all.
You cast sleep to only target a standard and a minion (and know that each is such) during the first encounter of the day.
You build a revenant pixie and then proclaim you're going to fly up and perch on someone's shoulder.
You might be playing D&D wrong if you don't think a Revenant Pixie Swarm Druid is awesome beyond belief
- Your DM keeps talking about how your Friend Computer wants you to eliminate the traitors and you cant work out why you have a laser pistol.
- If you make a Bullywug Wizard/Psion hybrid because you think playing Hypnotoad is an awesome idea, then fail to take Hypnotism or any powers that target will.
-  The very first time you play a new edition you grab an op-cheese theoretical build and try to play it at the table and wondering why it doesn't seem to work.
- You Dominate (Save Ends) an enemy and then tell it to attack the Striker in your party, because the Defender is too injured.
- You dominate (save ends) and command the creature to do anything other than run around aimlessly to provoke as many OAs as possible.
.you keep saving all your daily and encounter powers (including Elven Acc) just in case some worse or stronger enemy turns up, even in an obvious boss fight, and end your day having not used any of them. 
- you use two move actions + action point + charge to leave your party in the dust and storm into the enemy encampment all on your own, with predictable results. 
- You try to convince your DM to let your warlock curse his allies, and then attack them so that he can trigger his fey pact teleportation. And keep asking until the entire table tells you to shut up.
- You hurl your super optimized charger at a known bugbear strangler who is grabbing the tank.
- You forget that in 4e, you can choose to do non-lethal damage when you would knock out or kill a creature, not beforehand.
You use all your daily powers in the first encounter of the day to prove to the rest of the group how awesome you are.
- You are playing a Hybrid Assassin and choose to be Hybrid Binder instead of Hybrid Warlock because "Shadow walk as my hybrid talent, duh!"
- You are attempting to play a snapping testudo. 
- You are riding a griffon mount indoors, and then say, incredulously, "What do you mean it suffers penalties?"
- You get upset when your DM tells you that intimidating a god probably wont work... when you are level 3 (True story)
- You get upset that your level 10 warlock can't hit anything with a 16 charisma and 16 dex. (also true story.)
- You have to ask whether your 1st level fighter uses Strength to attack.
- Your 1st level Ranger's first action is an RBA, and you're not a Hunter.
- You believe a player has to AP to attack twice.
- the other players are wondering whether you've even read the PHB.
you move next to two melee minions and use a ranged attack on one of them because "they're minions, they won't hurt me much."
you check the initiative order, see it reads "you, ALL the enemies, your friends", and charge into a crowd of enemies anyways.
 initiative ALWAYS ends up as "all the enemies, all the party".  (Because your DM and your party need a math check.)
You use a weapon that lets you MBA from 5 squares away, because you don't want to get close if you don't have to, with a class that only has 1 melee at-will. And dilettante Sword Burst instead of Booming Blade because as a striker you want to deal good damage to swarms and insubstantial creatures.
if you have to ask which die you need to roll for damage, using your trusty same-as-always short sword. And what to add to the attack roll.
- if you spend the majority of your encounters without having CA for even a single round. As a rogue.
- if you still have to ask what an AP does. If you even remember that there is something called "Action Point".
- if the other players know you haven't even read the PHB. Well, most of them haven't either.
you as DM hopelessly look at your dice for the d7 to determine the day of the week.
- you as a player actually have a d7. (I swear they actually make them.)
- you build a character by randomly determining race and class and then get upset that it isn't what you wanted. (Our response, "It was your idea, idiot.)
- you throw your dice off the table at least 5 times each evening. ("That is it, you now have to use a Trouble gameboard for your d6 rolls.")
- you obey the keep out sign.
you take an infinite damage unkillable PC to a game. 
 
Back to Basics - A Guide to Basic Attacks You might be playing DnD wrong if... "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." Albert Einstein
- you use theivery to find traps, because they are traps you know?

 - you think being able to undo all of the damage the monsters were throwing out (as a pacifist cleric) trivializes combat

 - you have a TPK every few months (and you're not playing fourthcore) 

Disagree with these.

Pacifist clerics CAN trivialize combat.

And i prefer making new characters every few months.  There's nothing wrong with playing on hard mode.

guides
List of no-action attacks.
Dynamic vs Static Bonuses
Phalanx tactics and builds
Crivens! A Pictsies Guide Good
Power
s to intentionally miss with
Mr. Cellophane: How to be unnoticed
Way's to fire around corners
Crits: what their really worth
Retroactive bonus vs Static bonus.
Runepriest handbook & discussion thread
Holy Symbols to hang around your neck
Ways to Gain or Downgrade Actions
List of bonuses to saving throws
The Ghost with the Most (revenant handbook)
my builds
F-111 Interdictor Long (200+ squares) distance ally teleporter. With some warlord stuff. Broken in a plot way, not a power way.

Thought Switch Higher level build that grants upto 14 attacks on turn 1. If your allies play along, it's broken.

Elven Critters Crit op with crit generation. 5 of these will end anything. Broken.

King Fisher Optimized net user.  Moderate.

Boominator Fun catch-22 booming blade build with either strong or completely broken damage depending on your reading.

Very Distracting Warlock Lot's of dazing and major penalties to hit. Overpowered.

Pocket Protector Pixie Stealth Knight. Maximizing the defender's aura by being in an ally's/enemy's square.

Yakuza NinjIntimiAdin: Perma-stealth Striker that offers a little protection for ally's, and can intimidate bloodied enemies. Very Strong.

Chargeburgler with cheese Ranged attacks at the end of a charge along with perma-stealth. Solid, could be overpowered if tweaked.

Void Defender Defends giving a penalty to hit anyone but him, then removing himself from play. Can get somewhat broken in epic.

Scry and Die Attacking from around corners, while staying hidden. Moderate to broken, depending on the situation.

Skimisher Fly in, attack, and fly away. Also prevents enemies from coming close. Moderate to Broken depending on the enemy, but shouldn't make the game un-fun, as the rest of your team is at risk, and you have enough weaknesses.

Indestructible Simply won't die, even if you sleep though combat.  One of THE most abusive character in 4e.

Sir Robin (Bravely Charge Away) He automatically slows and pushes an enemy (5 squares), while charging away. Hard to rate it's power level, since it's terrain dependent.

Death's Gatekeeper A fun twist on a healic, making your party "unkillable". Overpowered to Broken, but shouldn't actually make the game un-fun, just TPK proof.

Death's Gatekeeper mk2, (Stealth Edition) Make your party "unkillable", and you hidden, while doing solid damage. Stronger then the above, but also easier for a DM to shut down. Broken, until your DM get's enough of it.

Domination and Death Dominate everything then kill them quickly. Only works @ 30, but is broken multiple ways.

Battlemind Mc Prone-Daze Protecting your allies by keeping enemies away. Quite powerful.

The Retaliator Getting hit deals more damage to the enemy then you receive yourself, and you can take plenty of hits. Heavy item dependency, Broken.

Dead Kobold Transit Teleports 98 squares a turn, and can bring someone along for the ride. Not fully built, so i can't judge the power.

Psilent Guardian Protect your allies, while being invisible. Overpowered, possibly broken.

Rune of Vengance Do lot's of damage while boosting your teams. Strong to slightly overpowered.

Charedent BarrageA charging ardent. Fine in a normal team, overpowered if there are 2 together, and easily broken in teams of 5.

Super Knight A tough, sticky, high damage knight. Strong.

Super Duper Knight Basically the same as super knight with items, making it far more broken.

Mora, the unkillable avenger Solid damage, while being neigh indestuctable. Overpowered, but not broken.

Swordburst Maximus At-Will Close Burst 3 that slide and prones. Protects allies with off actions. Strong, possibly over powered with the right party.

No more than any other leader. I say a warlord trivialises combat more - and doesn't take its sweet time about it.

Yes, how often you want to die is a question of choice, but I'm just quoting MG, so don't shoot the messenger. 
Back to Basics - A Guide to Basic Attacks You might be playing DnD wrong if... "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." Albert Einstein
You lose one character in 5 years, and respond by pulling off the top build from DPR Kings to play.
You have 3 Stats at 16 at 1st level, and are not an avenger.
Your fighter has a 14-post racial str,because you see him as a more swashbuckerling type and put all your stats points into Cha and Dex instead.  ("I'll pick up Weapon Finesse, and be fine")
Your build requires 2 different weapons, one specific implement, and 3 attack-caliber stats.

"Nice assumptions. Completely wrong assumptions, but by jove if being incorrect stopped people from making idiotic statements, we wouldn't have modern internet subculture." Kerrus
Practical gameplay runs by neither RAW or RAI, but rather "A Compromise Between The Gist Of The Rule As I Recall Getting The Impression Of It That One Time I Read It And What Jerry Says He Remembers, Whatever, We'll Look It Up Later If Any Of Us Still Give A Damn." Erachima

No more than any other leader. I say a warlord trivialises combat more - and doesn't take its sweet time about it.



Yeah...I'm not entirely clear how you can call one-rounding the encounter with sheer damage output anything but 'trivialized'
D&D Next = D&D: Quantum Edition
The only enemies you can defeat consistently are all properly represented by miniature plastic, pink flamingos.
Your Elf archer ranger is wearing bracers of brachiation and has an 18 dex. At level 14.
I killed Aleena.
You're the only one in the party with any flavor of expertise feat.

Bargle wrote:
This is CharOp. We not only assume block-of-tofu monsters, but also block-of-tofu DMs.
 

Zelink wrote:
You're already refluffing, why not refluff to something that doesn't suck?
You're a Moonstalker (PP) and you keep running away from melee with prone targets after your turn. True story.

(3.5e) - You're a Wizard, and you think that if you can't deal damage to the enemy with your spells, running away is the best option. Which you proceed to do. With Teleport. Alone.
-You're a fighter wielding orbs or cookware.
-You're a non-arena fighter wielding orbs or cookware.


FTFY ;)
Harrying your Prey, the Easy Way: A Hunter's Handbook - the first of what will hopefully be many CharOp efforts on my part. The Blinker - teleport everywhere. An Eladrin Knight/Eldritch Knight. CB != rules source.
You miss on a roll of 10+

You think flanking is virtually the only way to get CA.

Your non-Striker does no damage, because damage is the "striker's job."

You begin combat #5 with 3 action points because you are holding on to them for when you need them.


Daren
You're playing a Paladin, and you refuse to move up and hit the prone, bloodied Wight who is the sole remaining creature.
You're playing a Paladin, and you run away.

Same guy, by the way. He's one of those "roleplayers" who refuses to optimize and doesn't actually roleplay very well, either.
I killed Aleena.
You spend more time at the table talking about how awesome that new feat you're going to pick up in 4 levels is than actually playing the game.
-You're a fighter wielding orbs or cookware.



There is absolutely nothing wrong with refluffing a mordenkrad as a giant cast iron skillet.
You actually do cast Magic Missile on the dark.

If the Gazebo actually kills you.

If you think you have to make a character mechanically suck to be a good role player.
-You're a fighter wielding orbs or cookware.



There is absolutely nothing wrong with refluffing a mordenkrad as a giant cast iron skillet.


Especially if you refluff your Halfling to be a red squirrel.
D&D Next = D&D: Quantum Edition
You're a member of a class where a non-attack stat that is not boosted by your race is higher than your primary attack stat that is boosted by your race.

(true story) 
You think Thicket of Blades is the best heroic power EVAR.
You charge the immobilized melee monster that's 4 squares away from any PC, and provoke OA's on the way.
You spend more time at the table talking about how awesome that new feat you're going to pick up in 4 levels is than actually playing the game.


Have to say, I'm guilty of planning my builds out in advance this way.  Chatting about it kills time during the downtime.  When it doesn't horribly distract everybody else...
Harrying your Prey, the Easy Way: A Hunter's Handbook - the first of what will hopefully be many CharOp efforts on my part. The Blinker - teleport everywhere. An Eladrin Knight/Eldritch Knight. CB != rules source.
You refuse to use a Proning Power on an Ooze or other legless monster because you think it won't Prone it.
ToB is not better than any At-Will power in the game

Wizards are meant to be strikers

Class mechanics are roleplaying your character

Your map is too small

The feat Enlarge Spell is not on your Enchanter  
You think Thicket of Blades is the best heroic power EVAR.



It's not?! (You stole mine :p)

You think Thicket of Blades is the best heroic power EVAR.



It's not?! (You stole mine :p)



Na there should be a whole section dedicated to ToB
You think Thicket of Blades is the best heroic power EVAR.



It's not?! (You stole mine :p)



Na there should be a whole section dedicated to ToB

Or maybe a list of best powers, with ToB being at the top (of course).  But, maybe just start with heroic tier and I think the whole community should have input, so the list should be a collaborative one.

Is there anyone up for this task .... ?? 

Daren  

You're playing an Elf Cleric who stays at range 20 using RBAs, because that's what Elves do!

You save Backstab for when you roll low enough to miss on a charging thief that hits on 2s.

You still try to optimize Magic Missile in Heroic.

You think Ensnaring is the best Aegis.

Your Sorcerer's Will isn't higher than any other Defense.
"Invokers are probably better round after round but Wizard dailies are devastating. Actually, devastating is too light a word. Wizard daily powers are soul crushing, encounter ending, havoc causing pieces of awesome." -AirPower25 Sear the Flesh, Purify the Soul; Harden the Heart, and Improve the Mind; Born of Blood, but Forged by Fire; The MECH warrior reaches perfection.
You think Clerics are the best at Religion.

You make a Darklock and wear Plate and Heavy Shield (without proficiency), because you want to make a "Dark Knight"

You play an Assassin class PC because you want to be the best at killing things 
Your swordmage wields a club.

You make a Bugbear monk because you want to use Oversized for the unarmed strike.

You make an intimidate check on an NPC with a bloodied nose.   
I think I might actually be able to make a lethal cookware-wielding fighter.... but never mind.

How about:

You took social skills in a party with none so you could be the party 'face'
You died, permanently, because when you had 3 hp and 2 failed death saves you decided to "finish off" the near-dead solo that was standing adjacent...by using a ranged daily power. Also, you are a Straladin, and the striker is next in initiative.

(True story)
You think a Cavalier who is unmounted is a fun class and a solid defender.
10/10 Would Flame Again: An Elite Paladin|Warlock The Elemental Man (or Woman): A Genasi Handbook The Warlord, Or How to Wield a Barbarian One-Handed The Bookish Barbarian Fardiz: RAI is fairly clear, but RAZ is different That's right. Rules According to Zelink!
Requesting that 'miss on a 10+' be taken out. That's not playing D&D wrong, that's playing against a hard encounter. Otherwise, solid list.
Mountain Cleave Rule: You can have any sort of fun, including broken, silly fun, so long as I get to have that fun too (e. g., if you can warp reality with your spells, I can cleave mountains with my blade).
If the encounter is over leveled to where you miss on 10+ (and you have at least basic op), then your DM is playing wrong.
No one is having fun.

You're the only one having fun.

Scope my YouTube channel!

Here's a shout out for Scholars' Books & Games in Bridgewater, MA, and for Paladin's Place in Darmstadt, Hessen, Germany where I was stationed for two years. Support your FLGS!

Attacking the darkness since 1987, turning creatures sideways since 1994.

You think the way you play is the only correct way
If the encounter is over leveled to where you miss on 10+ (and you have at least basic op), then your DM is playing wrong.



Or you have a normal to-hit value, burnt your to-hit boosters, and your leaders focus more on enabling than buffing, and your DM uses defensive interrupts.
Mountain Cleave Rule: You can have any sort of fun, including broken, silly fun, so long as I get to have that fun too (e. g., if you can warp reality with your spells, I can cleave mountains with my blade).
I think I might actually be able to make a lethal cookware-wielding fighter.... but never mind.

How about:

You took social skills in a party with none so you could be the party 'face'


I would add to that " ... and Charisma is not one of your key stats."
You think a Cavalier who is unmounted is a fun class and a solid defender.



I don't think mounted ones are all that good either.

Now a hybrid Cavalier ... that can go somewhere.
You believe a Monk's Wisdom should be higher than her Dexterity. (True story)
A Beginners Primer to CharOp. Archmage's Ascension - The Wizard's Handbook. Let the Hammer Fall: Dwarf Warpriest/Tactical Warpriest/Indomitable Champion, a Defending Leader. Requiem for Dissent: Cleric/Fighter/Paragon of Victory Melee Leader Ko te manu e kai i te miro, nona te ngahere. Ko te manu e kai i te matauranga e, nano te ao katoa. It's the proliferation of people who think the rules are more important than what the rules are meant to accomplish. - Dedekine
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