The D&D Players You Hate to Encounter

40 posts / 0 new
Last post
The D&D Players You Hate to Encounter:“The guard blocking the door scowls at you derisively. What do you do?”“I roll a 19 on my diplomacy check!”“Great! What do you say?”“…I rolled a 19…”

Yes, we all have players that make us want to put little grenades in our d20s.  Well today’s your lucky day because its time to vent!


The N-Master


4E is not a video game.  Unless of course you make it so.  If you’re making spreadsheets, you’re probably not working on your character’s background.  When asked, you’ll have a description for your character.  But you probably took Born Under a Bad Sign anyway right?  Do you describe your attacks or state them flatly in a monotone voice, like a narcoleptic with no serotonin commanding a Pokémon. 


What he says: “Spend action point, use Nature’s Thorn Shiv.”


What he means: “I want to supersize my order.”


 


The Plot Reaper


This is the guy who believes that if you ain’t in a skill challenge, one good diplomacy or knowledge check should set it all right.  I mean, if we’re not in a skill challenge or combat what the hell are we doing?


“The Optimized Level 4 Wizard activates a mysterious and hidden spell, attempting to ruin which will be a long running plot arc over the next several months.”


What he says: “I roll a 31 on my Arcana Check.”


What he means: “I want to skip this arc.”


 


Follow the Leader/aka Rankings Bitch


For some reason, every time this guy plays a class, its always in the exact same way.  Here’s a fun drinking game:  Ask this guy to send you his character sheet and open the class handbook on the optimization forum.  Take a shot for every gold option they’ve taken and a sip for every sky blue option taken.


What he says: “My PC was Born under a Bad Sign and charges with a gouge.”


What he means: “I’m an idiot.”


 


The 4th Striker


So when you ask people what they want to be, one guy says rogue, then avenger, then a slayer fighter…and as your eyebrow goes up what does you’re the 4th person has the audacity to say…rogue.


What he says: “Why doesn’t someone play the leader?”


What he means: “Why doesn’t someone ELSE play the leader


 


Team Unkillable


Not one player, more likely a pair of players who’ve built their characters, typically a striker and something else, to form some kind of unstoppable juggernaut.  Double points if one person runs both PCs.


What he says: Wally the Wizard will create difficult terrain allowing Barry the Blackguard to gain combat advantage and deal an extra 35 damage!


What he means:  If we kill all the DM’s stuff we win right?


 


The Daria


This one isn’t really fair since it’s more of a DM problem.  The Daria will refuse to take the bait.  When its his turn in combat, he’ll stall before throwing out an at-will.  That scowling distant caravan leader?  Not talking to him.  The shiny rooster key?  Not going to remember it when you find the chicken door.


What he says:  “Who’s this dwarf talking to us?”


What he means: “I was struck in the head 40-50 times with a chunk of concrete and can’t seem to recall something that happened a week ago.”


 


Mordakainen’s Magnificent Bag of Holding Holder


The item guy.  You ask your PCs to pick out level 5, 6, and 7 items for a wish list, he brings in 3 Rare items with encounter powers.  After every fight, you’ve barely said the encounter is over before he asks about magic items and wants to strip the boots of the dead.  This is the guy who’s always first to volunteer to check the dead dire bear’s stomach for errant dwarven artifacts.  And he’s really disappointed when there’s no treasure amongst the entrails.


What he says: “Loot?”


What he means: “Give me a Level 10 sword or I’ll jam a d4 in your eye.”


 


The Hoarder/Dire Accountant Multiclass


The sworn brother of Mordakainen’s Magnificent Bag of Holding Holder.  There’s coin out there and he wants to spend 15 minutes counting it.  The best part is, that gold ain’t getting spent.  Presumably someone believes it is equal to the number of points you’re trying to get by Level 30.  Bonus points if anyone at the table can define fungible.


What he says:  (While in a desolate tomb) “And how much is this ancient necklace never seen by man worth in gold, exactly?”


What he means:  “Just give us gold next time and we’ll get back to your crappy story faster.”


 


The Emperor of Immediate Actions


Typically the territory of leaders and defenders, every round of combat this guy will use an at-will power because everything else on his character sheet (including item powers) are triggered actions.  The hesitation in the DM’s voice before a monster gives this PC even a stern glance will only serve to reinforce that the latter is the lord and he will lay his vengeance upon you, probably in the form of a bonus to defenses or a melee basic attack.


What he says: “For attacking within 6 squares of me, the target gains an immediate +10 bonus to defenses against this attack, and an ally can make a charge attack with a +5 to hit and damage bonus.”


What he means:  “The only winning move is not to play.”

Vampire Class/Feat in 2013!

I prefer Next because 4E players and CharOpers can't find their ass without a grid and a power called "Find Ass."

The Supernova (Possibly only 3.5 and older)

A minute of this behemoths fury can overturn kingdoms, shatter civalisations and make the DM's monsters fall like tears lost in rain. Afterall, why should the rest of the party matters when he has the ability to create a template of megadeath every round?


What he says: I cast fireball, scupted and Sudden maximised if you will.


What he means: I want to kill everyone in that area right now.

I should know, I was that guy. It was the only way I could compersate for some of my party being so woefully incomperdent was to dedicate much of my stronger spells for complete destuction on the days they needed it. They insult me for my lack of care of deploying it, blissfully iggorent of the party wipes I had liberated them from. XD

Hoooo boy. One of these posts again. Let's get it started :p(for the record, I both play and DM)


The N-Master


4E is not a video game.  Unless of course you make it so.  If you’re making spreadsheets, you’re probably not working on your character’s background.  When asked, you’ll have a description for your character.  But you probably took Born Under a Bad Sign anyway right?  Do you describe your attacks or state them flatly in a monotone voice, like a narcoleptic with no serotonin commanding a Pokémon. 


What he says: “Spend action point, use Nature’s Thorn Shiv.”


What he means: “I want to supersize my order.”




I agree that better descriptions of your character, attacks and background make for better campaigns. I take offense to your claim that anyone making a spreadsheet can't possibly have a well-thought up character background.



In a 3.5 Eberron campaign I'm playing right now I got a changeling who's a changeling feat rogue 1/beguiler 4. Some really funky class options/obscure feats on that one. Why? Because the character is supposed to be all about social situations(no, not a diplomancer...) and infiltration while most feats care about combat. It's hard to track some good social ones down. I made a spreadsheet to keep track of it all, didn't stop me from submitting a 10 page background and being the most active player outside of combat encounters. In combat encounters I'm so laughably fragile, my first actions are usually all about finding a spot where I'm not going to get hit, because after rolling 1 on hitpoints 3 times in a row, 1 hit is all it takes.



 


The Plot Reaper


This is the guy who believes that if you ain’t in a skill challenge, one good diplomacy or knowledge check should set it all right.  I mean, if we’re not in a skill challenge or combat what the hell are we doing?


“The Optimized Level 4 Wizard activates a mysterious and hidden spell, attempting to ruin which will be a long running plot arc over the next several months.”


What he says: “I roll a 31 on my Arcana Check.”


What he means: “I want to skip this arc.”





If the player's character has skills or spells at his disposal which should logically allow him to "skip" your arc, he has all rights to do so. Dump the railroad/"if I made plans in advance, players better not ruin my plot!" attitude. Players have free will, so they will often come up with stuff that "ruins" your plans completely. Stay flexible. At the end of the day, unpredictability of players is why it's better to play with players than robots, after all.

It's also not fair to use a strawman by saying he is attempting to ruin the plot. He's not. His character is looking for the most effective solution to a problem... If the plot was half-assed enough that such a shortcut is possible, then don't be surprised when the players find it :p


Follow the Leader/aka Rankings Bitch

For some reason, every time this guy plays a class, its always in the exact same way.  Here’s a fun drinking game:  Ask this guy to send you his character sheet and open the class handbook on the optimization forum.  Take a shot for every gold option they’ve taken and a sip for every sky blue option taken.


What he says: “My PC was Born under a Bad Sign and charges with a gouge.”


What he means: “I’m an idiot.”



Players are not idiots for optimizing their characters. Some people have fun in the game that way. What a shock, not everyone likes the play their character according to one(your) vision! *gasp*


This is only a problem if it upsets the balance in the party greatly. If they're all sorta-optimized anyway, why not? Really, do you think it's good RP to take sub-par spells and such? If someone's playing a wizard who's studied magic for years, then it's logical that wizard knows just as well as the player what spells do and don't work. Taking the bad ones would certainly make that wizard an idiot then.


I'm going to say it once again because I just can't get over it: Calling players idiots because they don't play according to your vision is really vindictive.


The 4th Striker

So when you ask people what they want to be, one guy says rogue, then avenger, then a slayer fighter…and as your eyebrow goes up what does you’re the 4th person has the audacity to say…rogue.


What he says: “Why doesn’t someone play the leader?”


What he means: “Why doesn’t someone ELSE play the leader



The 4th person doesn't have less right to play whatever class they want just because you asked the first three first. Case closed.


You can play without a leader if everyone works together a bit, gets a few good items/specific builds and the DM throws the party some bones on the healing front here or there. If one of the players doesn't feel like playing like that, gratz, you've found the leader. If you, the DM, don't like the sound of that, then, euh, don't even know what to say. Just to reiterate though: optimized chars are no-no, and goofball, unoptimized party setups are also no-no? Wat.


Team Unkillable

Not one player, more likely a pair of players who’ve built their characters, typically a striker and something else, to form some kind of unstoppable juggernaut.  Double points if one person runs both PCs.


What he says: Wally the Wizard will create difficult terrain allowing Barry the Blackguard to gain combat advantage and deal an extra 35 damage!


What he means:  If we kill all the DM’s stuff we win right?



Not a problem if the entire party has similar deals going on. If not, they need to be dealt with, but they usually have plenty of weak spots to exploit anyway.


Also, try not to think of it as "the DM's stuff". Really you constantly sound as if you're in a DM vs Players mentality. That's not how it is, you're playing with your players, not against them. If they're wrecking balls, jolly good! You can pull out a few of those ridiculously hard encounters you've been dreaming up, but were always too afraid to use.


The Daria

This one isn’t really fair since it’s more of a DM problem.  The Daria will refuse to take the bait.  When its his turn in combat, he’ll stall before throwing out an at-will.  That scowling distant caravan leader?  Not talking to him.  The shiny rooster key?  Not going to remember it when you find the chicken door.


What he says:  “Who’s this dwarf talking to us?”


What he means: “I was struck in the head 40-50 times with a chunk of concrete and can’t seem to recall something that happened a week ago.”



I see this often in people new to the genre/not familiar with some of the rpg conventions/clichés. Can't really fault someone for not thinking of something though, as you said.



Mordakainen’s Magnificent Bag of Holding Holder

The item guy.  You ask your PCs to pick out level 5, 6, and 7 items for a wish list, he brings in 3 Rare items with encounter powers.  After every fight, you’ve barely said the encounter is over before he asks about magic items and wants to strip the boots of the dead.  This is the guy who’s always first to volunteer to check the dead dire bear’s stomach for errant dwarven artifacts.  And he’s really disappointed when there’s no treasure amongst the entrails.


What he says: “Loot?”


What he means: “Give me a Level 10 sword or I’ll jam a d4 in your eye.”



Hey, items are fun, can't blame the guy for thinking so ^^


I did have an elf in 3.5 once who walked around the edge of every room to trigger his "automatically get a check to detect secret door I pass" ability. I made short work of that.


 


The Hoarder/Dire Accountant Multiclass

The sworn brother of Mordakainen’s Magnificent Bag of Holding Holder.  There’s coin out there and he wants to spend 15 minutes counting it.  The best part is, that gold ain’t getting spent.  Presumably someone believes it is equal to the number of points you’re trying to get by Level 30.  Bonus points if anyone at the table can define fungible.


What he says:  (While in a desolate tomb) “And how much is this ancient necklace never seen by man worth in gold, exactly?”


What he means:  “Just give us gold next time and we’ll get back to your crappy story faster.”



It's normal to want to know how much something is worth so that it's easier to divide fairly. Don't be an ass by putting words in his mouth like "crappy story". He didn't say that, he probably didn't mean that, it is all in your head, just because a player is, again, attaching value to something you yourself don't value as much.



The Emperor of Immediate Actions


Typically the territory of leaders and defenders, every round of combat this guy will use an at-will power because everything else on his character sheet (including item powers) are triggered actions.  The hesitation in the DM’s voice before a monster gives this PC even a stern glance will only serve to reinforce that the latter is the lord and he will lay his vengeance upon you, probably in the form of a bonus to defenses or a melee basic attack.


What he says: “For attacking within 6 squares of me, the target gains an immediate +10 bonus to defenses against this attack, and an ally can make a charge attack with a +5 to hit and damage bonus.”


What he means:  “The only winning move is not to play.”



WTF do you think is wrong with this? I just don't see it. He's helping his party members out the way a defender of leader should, in an effective enough way... You're not one of those DMs who get mad when players foil an attack on the party's squishy that you totally thought was going to scare the crap out of them, are you?


The Supernova (Possibly only 3.5 and older)

A minute of this behemoths fury can overturn kingdoms, shatter civalisations and make the DM's monsters fall like tears lost in rain. Afterall, why should the rest of the party matters when he has the ability to create a template of megadeath every round?


What he says: I cast fireball, scupted and Sudden maximised if you will.


What he means: I want to kill everyone in that area right now.

I should know, I was that guy. It was the only way I could compersate for some of my party being so woefully incomperdent was to dedicate much of my stronger spells for complete destuction on the days they needed it. They insult me for my lack of care of deploying it, blissfully iggorent of the party wipes I had liberated them from. XD



If "the supernova" is the only thing standing between the party and TPK, the DM is obviously doing something wrong, the supernova is just there to, you know, stay alive.

If everything is balanced except for the supernova, then he needs to go. Huge gaps of power within the party are never fun.
Bro it's just a joke.

Vampire Class/Feat in 2013!

I prefer Next because 4E players and CharOpers can't find their ass without a grid and a power called "Find Ass."

Ah, sorry for ruining it then :p Sarcasm in text and all that ^^ I see way too many "real" posts about DMs with opinions like these ^^

I'll post my own to contribute then!


The Scientist

D&D is not real-life, yet it tries to be at least a little realistic in some aspects, as to not weird everyone out. But that's not enough for this guy! He's got 3 PhD's in exact sciences, and has spend countless hours pouring over the D&D rulebooks to figure out what exactly is wrong with them. Whenever anything goes wrong for him, prepare for a lengthy speech as to why, scientifically, he should have had no change of failure!

Favourite line: "You know, that's now how it works. In the real world, what happens is..."
What he means: "Bro, if you're too stupid to know quantum physics, why are you the DM and ****?"
The Historian

D&D is not real life; it is not a historical simulation.  Whatever may or may not have happened, however life may or may not have been lived in Midaeval Europe is utterly irrelevant to what happens and how life is lived in Faerun or Khorvaire or my homebrewed world.

What he says: "Well, back then ..."
What he means: "I haven't read the Player's Guide/game world documents for this campaign setting."


Related: The Tolkien Fanboy, who forgets that LotR has its own RPG and we're playing D&D.
Another day, another three or four entries to my Ignore List.
"If "the supernova" is the only thing standing between the party and TPK, the DM is obviously doing something wrong, the supernova is just there to, you know, stay alive.

If everything is balanced except for the supernova, then he needs to go. Huge gaps of power within the party are never fun. "

Nah, I quite litrally meant the incapabilty of our comrades. A Bard who doesn't know how to be a bard, an assissin with a track record of probably 4 lives in a 3 month campiagn, A character dying once every session, either due to illogical events (swimming across a dense river) PK (Frenzied Berzker probably accounted for 66.6% of the deaths) and one time where three members of the party (all assissins) ran away in the first 6 seconds of a fortess fight because they throught sprinting while invisable was a great idea. Poor guy gave up after 8 sessions of making character sheet after character sheet. *Sighs as the restaint of 100 lifetimes ebbles away)

The huge gap of power makes up for the fact I don't fight all the time anyways. I was just sitting at the table and just noting down the exploits of the party bezerker "not" frenzying that time while a pair of party membered tried to kill him as mayor of the town at the time. Needless to say they were relatively unsuccessful in quite a herlious manner but thats a story for another day. XD
To paraphrase a modern sage, you'd feel a lot better if you ripped into occasional player.  Format shamelessly taken from this.

drunkard.com/issues/11-03/11-03-bartende...

Vampire Class/Feat in 2013!

I prefer Next because 4E players and CharOpers can't find their ass without a grid and a power called "Find Ass."

Bro it's just a joke.




. . . at someone else's expense. 
"When Friday comes, we'll all call rats fish." D&D Outsider

The Pace Setter

Everything is moving along quickly enough until his turn comes up, then, regardless of the fact that he's been paying attention, playing D&D for a decade, and knows it's his turn: he pauses and calculates. Is he counting squares? What has he missed? How can he turn this action packed game of combat maneuvers into a game of chess played across two time zones via snail mail?

What he says:  "Hmmm..." (looks at character sheet)
"Okay... wait." (looks at character sheet, flips pages)
"I'm going to... move first..." (reaches for mini, pauses, moves mini)
"One.. two.. three........... four... five."
"I'll use my at-will..." (pauses... starts looking through his dice... shakes a d20 for a bit and rolls it)
"K, I hit a 19 plus... (looks at character sheet again) 14... 33 hits right? Cool... Oh wait, I had combat advantage so a 35... Sweet." (picks out a d8, shakes it for a bit, and rolls it)
"I did... 2 plus 6, plus my bonus for it being a goblin, which is 2... 10 damage." (minion dies)
"....Action point... as a minor I quarry the other minion next to me......"

What he means:  “I know we're all at full hit points and there's just three minions left... but still..."

The Jerk

He is always right. You are always wrong. When he learns important information first, he does not tell the party. This validates his superiority because he Knows Something no one else does. He has the advantage. What the party finds is party treasure. What another character finds is party treasure. What he finds is his alone.

What he says: "Stop metagaming."

What he means: "Yes, I'll soon kill your character. I'm just trying to set it up just right so that it looks like it's your own fault, preferably falling victim to that trap or monster I discovered I didn't tell you about, but if I must do it myself, I will. I am a better person than you. You suck."



Support Cedric Diggory, the real Hogwarts Champion!
Bro it's just a joke.




. . . at someone else's expense. 


At whose expense?  hese are all hypothetical nonexistent people.  Can we not even mock the nonexistent anymore?!
Perhaps the opposite of the Plot Reaper in a sense:

The 'I Go Smash' Plot Killer:

This guy kills things. And people. That you're currently trying to have a decent conversation with.

What we say:
Me: "That's so sad, Bartender NPC! Your family was killed in a forest fire while trying to flee from ruthless bandits? Perhaps we could help you out with a couple gold pieces --"
Him: "Howling Strike on that *****. Doggone idiotic waste of time. Does this trigger a combat, please?"

What he means:
"Imma kill him because I have no respect for the plot or the actor-players who are trying to enjoy their aspect of the game."

Your friendly neighborhood Revenant Minotaur Half-Blooded Dragonborn Fighter Hybrid Barbarian Multiclassing into Warlord

IMAGE(http://pwp.wizards.com/1223957875/Scorecards/Landscape.png)

I agree that better descriptions of your character, attacks and background make for better campaigns. I take offense to your claim that anyone making a spreadsheet can't possibly have a well-thought up character background.

I'll say. My dancer has a background that would probably run 40 pages (it was over 15 when I stopped typing, it's been embellished and extended since). But mechanically he needs two sets of weapons, and with stuff the DM threw into the story he sometimes had to use a third set of weapons and sometimes couldn't wear his armor. These changes, which could vary from one encounter to the next, affected so many stats - skills, all defenses, every attack roll, every damage roll - that a spreadsheet was essential.

"The world does not work the way you have been taught it does. We are not real as such; we exist within The Story. Unfortunately for you, you have inherited a condition from your mother known as Primary Protagonist Syndrome, which means The Story is interested in you. It will find you, and if you are not ready for the narrative strands it will throw at you..." - from Footloose
i'm with the OP 100% on the "follow the leader" thing.

bring your own character please, not the flavor of the day from the Character Op forums.

Characters like these make me lose ALL interest in running a game that includes them.  I suppose it could work if all of the players all optimize their characters to an insane degree.  After all, i could just power up the encounters by adding stats to monsters, or even adding monsters to the encounters, but then those players will just complain that i'm undermining their efforts to increase the effectiveness of their characters, when what they mean is that i'm undermining their efforts to suck the fun out of running any combat encounters in the game.  And heaven help you if all the characters aren't all similarly optimized, you might as well just give up now.

by the by, i'm not one of those dungeon masters that likes grinding his players characters into a bloody pulp, but if there isn't an actual challenge in each encounter, then why would i even begin to waste my time designing a combat challenge only to watch the monsters get mopped up in half a round by 2 strikers.  Sure you can say to add extra objectives into my encounters all you want, but the fact remains that if every monster is dead in under 2 rounds, then i'm pretty sure they can achieve just about any other objective that is given a reasonable amount of time.  Save the NPC? easily done if all the monsters are dead.  Disable the device? If the timer is set to reasonable number, the party can kill the monsters, sit and have dinner for a few rounds, and still have time to disable it.  If the timer is tuned to the partys normal monster killing speed it just feels like a gotcha moment, with one failed check failing the objective.  Save X item? again, easy when there are no monsters.  Get to X place in Y time?  this one is so easy it just reinforces that they are doing the right thing.

any other type of character i've seen or heard about i can work with or work around since some can be talked to and slowly brought into the same genre as the rest of the group, and some can have the game played despite their continued indifference.  But the Character Op extreme character optimizer is the one type of player i just can't seem to get along with as even in the best case scenario, where everyone optimizes the same amount, it forces me to change the rules, often on the fly, to make the game harder, which to my players only feels like i'm out to get them. 
If the timer is tuned to the partys normal monster killing speed it just feels like a gotcha moment, with one failed check failing the objective.

They can always tackle the challenge first.

The alternate goals in the encounter can also empower the monsters, up to and including complete invulnerability if that's what it takes.

Get to X place in Y time?  this one is so easy it just reinforces that they are doing the right thing.

They can accomplish their 1 round kills without using any daily resources? They can just keep doing it all day? If not, then eventually they'll start taking on more normal encounters that they can't slam through. Or they can take an extended rest and fail (at least partially) their goal. If they're really doing it without daily resources, then maybe they can only take a limited number of short rests, too.

Perhaps it's also worth mentioning that the allocation of action points is entirely at the discretion of the DM.

it forces me to change the rules, often on the fly, to make the game harder, which to my players only feels like i'm out to get them.

Well, what do they want then? They've solved the game they're expecting you to run, so ask them what the point is. How many fights do they need to wipe out before they've made their point, get bored and decide that they want to stop playing on easy mode?

If I have to ask the GM for it, then I don't want it.

Well, what do they want then? They've solved the game they're expecting you to run, so ask them what the point is. How many fights do they need to wipe out before they've made their point, get bored and decide that they want to stop playing on easy mode?



unfortunately they, meaning the ones that actively search for combinations of powers and feats and such things, want to just beat the game.  They want to slaughter the monsters as quickly and mercilessly as possible.  They want to kill everything with no hope of failure, and due to some extenuating circumstances beyond my immediate resolution, a new group is out of the question.  Its either deal with the defference in playstyle of these players, myself, and the other players, or quit D&D.

Characters like these make me lose ALL interest in running a game that includes them.



I've never met an optimizer I can't challenge either by way of mechanics or story. I've never had a roleplay-centric character and a combat-optimized character that couldn't have fun in the same party. If I can do it, anyone can. You simply have to change your perception of the design problem and vary the challenges. Don't make encounters "harder" - just make them more clever.

Frankly, I'd love to DM a game with 4 uber-optimized PCs. What a cool design challenge for me as DM.

For any decision or adjudication, ask yourself, "Is this going to be fun for everyone?" and "Is this going to lead to the creation of an exciting, memorable story?"

DMs: Dungeon Master 101  |  Session Zero  |  How to Adjudicate Actions  |  No Myth Roleplaying  |  5e Monster Index & Encounter Calculator
Players: Players 101  |  11 Ways to Be a Better Roleplayer  |  You Are Not Your Character  |  Pre-Gen D&D 5e PCs

Content I Created: Adventure Scenarios  |  Actual Play Reports  |  Tools  |  Game Transcripts

Follow me on Twitter: @is3rith

The Deepwater Harbor Butcher
When he's trying to defend a farming village from marauding orcs or negotiating with the king, this player is silent beyond "I stick them with the pointy end."  Some people just want to kill goblins and get treasure, that's fine, to each their own.  But when it comes time to interrogate a prisoner or deal with the captives, something very strange happens to this player.  Suddenly he becomes a master roleplayer with increasingly creative ways of extracting information and "disposing of the problem."  Note that the amount of time spent on this is directly proportional to the number of plot hooks said prisoner can resolve.
What he says: "I threaten to take a finger each time the assassin lies."
What he means: "Gamer stereotypes belong in the trash like the prostitutes I kill."

Vampire Class/Feat in 2013!

I prefer Next because 4E players and CharOpers can't find their ass without a grid and a power called "Find Ass."

Bro it's just a joke.




. . . at someone else's expense. 


At whose expense?  hese are all hypothetical nonexistent people.  Can we not even mock the nonexistent anymore?!



Sure you can!  Just understand that people are going to see themselves in the caricatures being created.
"When Friday comes, we'll all call rats fish." D&D Outsider
Characters like these make me lose ALL interest in running a game that includes them.



I've never met an optimizer I can't challenge either by way of mechanics or story. I've never had a roleplay-centric character and a combat-optimized character that couldn't have fun in the same party. If I can do it, anyone can. You simply have to change your perception of the design problem and vary the challenges. Don't make encounters "harder" - just make them more clever.

Frankly, I'd love to DM a game with 4 uber-optimized PCs. What a cool design challenge for me as DM.



This post has my vote for thread MVP!
This post has my vote for thread MVP!



Thanks, and I definitely invite Thesimplethings to put up a new thread detailing his or her struggles and let the think tank here work on some possible solutions.

It's not a problem - it's an opportunity!

For any decision or adjudication, ask yourself, "Is this going to be fun for everyone?" and "Is this going to lead to the creation of an exciting, memorable story?"

DMs: Dungeon Master 101  |  Session Zero  |  How to Adjudicate Actions  |  No Myth Roleplaying  |  5e Monster Index & Encounter Calculator
Players: Players 101  |  11 Ways to Be a Better Roleplayer  |  You Are Not Your Character  |  Pre-Gen D&D 5e PCs

Content I Created: Adventure Scenarios  |  Actual Play Reports  |  Tools  |  Game Transcripts

Follow me on Twitter: @is3rith

This post has my vote for thread MVP!



Thanks, and I definitely invite Thesimplethings to put up a new thread detailing his or her struggles and let the think tank here work on some possible solutions.

It's not a problem - it's an opportunity!

He or she seemed well-versed in most of the (largely untested, I'll admit) advice I've been offering lately. This despite apparently being a new poster.

If I have to ask the GM for it, then I don't want it.

i have been checking these forums for quite some time now but never really felt like posting.  most of the issues i run up against have plenty of threads on them already.  i even think i saw a thread on my most recent problem too but i didnt remember finding it very helpful.

Iserith, i agree.  i would love a party of 4 super optimized characters to run a game for as well.  it would pose problems, and i think it would run very similar to running a game for any other 4 characters all at the same level of optimization or lack thereof since you would have to increase the difficulty of encounters to match the players.  unfortunately that isnt what i have to work with.  i have a two and two mix of optimizer players and players who dislike optimizing and think it hurts the game.

since the thread is in gross danger of derailing i think it about time i at least posted another gamer stereotype that people run into that i find a little difficult to play with.

The sex fiend
This player will approach any npc or pc of the opposite gender with lewd propositions and stalker-like persistance.  your plot doesnt matter.  the only thing that matters is if this players fictional character can get laid.
What you say: The guard captain approaches your party and asks what buisness 4 well armed individuals have in her city
his response: is she hot?           
i have been checking these forums for quite some time now but never really felt like posting.  most of the issues i run up against have plenty of threads on them already.  i even think i saw a thread on my most recent problem too but i didnt remember finding it very helpful.



Fire up a new thread then with your specific problem! We need new threads to make sure we don't actually get any work done at work, while still getting paid...

Iserith, i agree.  i would love a party of 4 super optimized characters to run a game for as well.  it would pose problems, and i think it would run very similar to running a game for any other 4 characters all at the same level of optimization or lack thereof since you would have to increase the difficulty of encounters to match the players.  unfortunately that isnt what i have to work with.  i have a two and two mix of optimizer players and players who dislike optimizing and think it hurts the game.



Yeah, this is a perception problem mostly on the part of those players. If you ask any of my friends, they'll tell you I love unoptimized characters myself when I play as I generally build it to a weird concept. Because I like to do that when I play, I make sure other players who like the same get benefits in an encounter as potent as an optimized character does with his or her damage (or whatever). I definitely invite you to start up a new thread with a general outline of what your players bring to the table and we can throw out some ideas.

since the thread is in gross danger of derailing



Yeah, sorry about that, OP. I'll pipe down now.

For any decision or adjudication, ask yourself, "Is this going to be fun for everyone?" and "Is this going to lead to the creation of an exciting, memorable story?"

DMs: Dungeon Master 101  |  Session Zero  |  How to Adjudicate Actions  |  No Myth Roleplaying  |  5e Monster Index & Encounter Calculator
Players: Players 101  |  11 Ways to Be a Better Roleplayer  |  You Are Not Your Character  |  Pre-Gen D&D 5e PCs

Content I Created: Adventure Scenarios  |  Actual Play Reports  |  Tools  |  Game Transcripts

Follow me on Twitter: @is3rith

The Deepwater Harbor Butcher
When he's trying to defend a farming village from marauding orcs or negotiating with the king, this player is silent beyond "I stick them with the pointy end."  Some people just want to kill goblins and get treasure, that's fine, to each their own.  But when it comes time to interrogate a prisoner or deal with the captives, something very strange happens to this player.  Suddenly he becomes a master roleplayer with increasingly creative ways of extracting information and "disposing of the problem."  Note that the amount of time spent on this is directly proportional to the number of plot hooks said prisoner can resolve.
What he says: "I threaten to take a finger each time the assassin lies."
What he means: "Gamer stereotypes belong in the trash like the prostitutes I kill."



Actually made me laugh at work, thanks for that my friend!

PS: Will keep reading thread until the end before I make a more meaingful post.

EDIT: Finished reading now my own contribution.

The Distractor
 
This person cannot play any RPG for more than 10 minutes without breaking immersion for real life events that nobody wants to hear. 

What he says: Did you all catch the Family Guy episode last night (During middle of combat)
What he really says: When will it be my turn so all the attention is on me again.

EDIT2: Thanks to iskinner
Yes, I do regret my Forum Name...Tech N9ne is clearly the best rapper of all time. I am currently looking to get in on a Real Adventures PbP game. PM me if you are looking for another PC.
What he says: Did you all catch the Family Guy episode last night (During middle of combat)
What he really says: Why am I playing this game? 

When will it be my turn so all the attention is on me again.


That might be more accurate.

What he says: Did you all catch the Family Guy episode last night (During middle of combat)
What he really says: Why am I playing this game? 

When will it be my turn so all the attention is on me again.


That might be more accurate.




I edited my post to reflect your suggestion, I think it was more poinient.
Yes, I do regret my Forum Name...Tech N9ne is clearly the best rapper of all time. I am currently looking to get in on a Real Adventures PbP game. PM me if you are looking for another PC.
Black then white.... then purple and orange then blue with sparkles and a horn...

That guy who suddenly decides to get his character killed so he can make another. This happens frequently, very frequently, and he will get angry if you act in any way that seems like you are refraining from butchering his unconcious a**, because, well, he's already dieing from that ten foot drop he kept jumping off.
.. danm, reading all these posts I wish I could come up with a catchy little name for my favorite gamer.. ..but I can not - so I will just tell you what he does..


..in 3.5, he will roll a D20 on an attack roll or any skill check or save, and then pick it up before I or anyone can see what it is and shout out a number that he thinks will just barely make it so that he can play the suprised look after acting like he knew it failed..
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men. - Willy Wonka
.. danm, reading all these posts I wish I could come up with a catchy little name for my favorite gamer.. ..but I can not - so I will just tell you what he does..


..in 3.5, he will roll a D20 on an attack roll or any skill check or save, and then pick it up before I or anyone can see what it is and shout out a number that he thinks will just barely make it so that he can play the suprised look after acting like he knew it failed..



I'd just call him 'The Cheater'.
Another day, another three or four entries to my Ignore List.
..in 3.5, he will roll a D20 on an attack roll or any skill check or save, and then pick it up before I or anyone can see what it is and shout out a number that he thinks will just barely make it so that he can play the suprised look after acting like he knew it failed..

I'd just call him 'The Cheater'.

 Also known as "That person the DM took aside for a little chat" and, usually, "that a**hole that isn't in our group anymore."

And really, that's not just a 3.5 thing, that's for any system where a result is decided by a single die roll.  (I specify the single die roll because, in a multi-die system like Shadowrun or White Wolf, it's usually more difficult to roll and scoop your dice back up while still maintaining that you had time to accurately count your successes.)

loose [loos] vt. to let loose; to release; to unfasten, undo or untie; to shoot or discharge. lose [looz] vt. to come to be without (something in one's possession or care), through accident, theft, etc., so that there is little or no prospect of recovery; to fail inadvertently to retain (something) in such a way that it cannot be immediately recovered; to suffer the deprivation of. LEARN THE DAMN DIFFERENCE. 

And of course, the popculture fan. 

You make an effort to describe the magnificent city of the efreets at the heart of the elemental chaos to your players, throwing every fancy word you ever read at them. Then, after you're done talking, the first thing he says is: "It's only a model." 
Whether it's Monty Python or Family Guy, this guy tries his best to make all your painstakingly wrought creatures, locations and NPCs look like a joke by comparing them to some popculture phenomenon. The sillier the better. 

What he says: "We are the Knights who say... NI!"
What he means: "Let's all watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail again!"

Oh, and iserith's second post with the reason for new threads wins this one.
And of course, the popculture fan. 

You make an effort to describe the magnificent city of the efreets at the heart of the elemental chaos to your players, throwing every fancy word you ever read at them. Then, after you're done talking, the first thing he says is: "It's only a model." 
Whether it's Monty Python or Family Guy, this guy tries his best to make all your painstakingly wrought creatures, locations and NPCs look like a joke by comparing them to some popculture phenomenon. The sillier the better. 

What he says: "We are the Knights who say... NI!"
What he means: "Let's all watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail again!"

Oh, and iserith's second post with the reason for new threads wins this one.

I don't mind the occasional "Ni!" from my players, but I've got that one individual who wants to reference a million obscure jokes. It's what you call the Halfling Hipster. 
The "immersion" fiend.

I'm happy to say I've rarely, if ever, directly encountered one of these, but I see them all the time on message boards talking about how this or that rule "breaks immersion," and so they and their group do something different. They hate hearing about numbers and stats and mechanics and prefer to guess about what makes the most sense to try in a particular situation rather than make use of any information the DM might be offering - even if that information is plausibly visible to their character.

What this player says: "That pulls me right out of the game!"
What this player means: "I'm only capable of imagining one plausible way for this to go."

If I have to ask the GM for it, then I don't want it.

"The Emperor of Immediate Actions


Typically the territory of leaders and defenders, every round of combat this guy will use an at-will power because everything else on his character sheet (including item powers) are triggered actions.  The hesitation in the DM’s voice before a monster gives this PC even a stern glance will only serve to reinforce that the latter is the lord and he will lay his vengeance upon you, probably in the form of a bonus to defenses or a melee basic attack.


What he says: “For attacking within 6 squares of me, the target gains an immediate +10 bonus to defenses against this attack, and an ally can make a charge attack with a +5 to hit and damage bonus.”


What he means:  “The only winning move is not to play.”"

Sounds more like the WOPR or Joshua.

"A strange game. The only winning move is not to play."

My real screen name is WAR10CK. Space pirate science, We do what must because we can.

The meme dropper.

Similar to the pop culture fan only the person uses Internet memes instead. Random crap from 4chan, YouTube poop, know your meme and encyclopedia dramatica. Notorious for reducing sessions into just "screw the story and gameplay, invoke memes and call it a day".

A few examples:

What he says: beep beep beep WHAT THE FU... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM *evil laughter here*

What he means: There was an explosion.

What he says: I used to X but then I took an arrow to the knee.

What he means: I can't do this.

What he says: Give him the IRL Banhammer!

What he means: Kill him!

What he says: Oh crap here comes the 4chan party van!

What he means: Oh crap here comes the authorities!

My real screen name is WAR10CK. Space pirate science, We do what must because we can.

"That's what she said" guy:

He's always attentive and listening with baited breath. Not because the flavor text is rich, or because his imagination is running wild... but because you might tell him, "The hole is 5 feet deep."

What he says: "That's what she said!"
What he means: "I wish girls would talk to me..."
The newest one I have is the numb3rs player.

This math nerd will play the game like he is doing his calculus homework. All the detailed descriptions you spent alot of effort on creating is condenced into some complex algebraic equation. Essentially tells the group how to handle a encounter based on how all the rule books give out the numbers, writes out a long and complex equation, and expects everyone to understand the math when he explains it. 

What he says: a^2+(9*.08)/2a=x+9-76=x^e*-9x etc.
What he means: Don't attack it here, lure it into this area and then attack it. 
 

My real screen name is WAR10CK. Space pirate science, We do what must because we can.

The Miniatures Fiend

This guy loves to use minis, which is fine, so do I. But if the mini doesn't EXACTLY match what its intended to represent he gets mad. Those coins can't be goblins because they are coins. That ghoul can't represent a tough zombie, its a ghoul!

Me: The bandit takes aim with his bow and...
Him: That mini is holding a sword, he doesn't even have a bow!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There is a world just around the corner of your mind, where reality is an intruder and dreams come true.

You may escape into it at will. You need no secret password, no magic wand or Aladdin's lamp;

only your own imagination and curiosity about things that never were.

Sign In to post comments