12/06/2011 Wizards Asks

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This thread is for discussion of this week's Wizards Asks, which goes live Tuesday morning on magicthegathering.com.

well its not a nick name it's more of an insult, when someone ticks you off instead of fliping them the bird you put up your pinky and say ornithopter. and so my friends have called it fliping the thopter
Haha, I'm glad I'm not the only one who found Hovermyr to be awesome in limited! :D

As for the question: My EDH group tended to call Invitational cards by the player that was in them - Solemn Simulacrum is Jens, Shadowmage Infiltrator is Johnny, etc. Now I can't stop (especially for the Simulacrum, considering it's such a staple EDH card).
My old playgroup used to refer to letting Death Cloud resolve as getting "Waltman'd".

First there was Pox, then Death Cloud, then Smallpox.
We took to calling DeathCloud "X-Pox".
One time a new member of the group misheard "X-Pox" as "X-Pac's".
"X-Pac" was the ring name of a pro wrestler from the late 90s named Sean Waltman.
Thus, "Waltman'd"

Doesn't really work outside of wrestling fans, though.
Bloodline Keeper, the BK aka the Burger King, once you play it in limited you have it your way...
Memnite Shyamalan, don't know why but I started calling it this at my release and apparently this happened simultaneously at a bunch of other ones too.
Bah! Kelly Digges took ours. We love the Bacon of Immortality

I think Memnite Shyamalan might be one of my new favorites.

A few of the players in our casual group are notorious for being completely unable to pronounce (and type out) the names of cards properly. Harabaz Druid has been permanently renamed Habababa Druid

We also love to name our decks. My girlfriend has a U/G Landfall deck that we have affectionately nicknamed the Large Hedron Collider (so named for that infamous little crab). I have a mono blue deck nicknamed the Ping-and-Fling deck, also nicknamed the Izznot deck for its uncanny resemblance to a Gelectrode based Izzet deck (see what I did there?).

Another friend in our circle has a deck he refers to as The Deck Named SUE (which uses the cycle of empire artifacts from M12, the Urzatron, and the Kaldra artifacts, which he then translated to the Swordof Urza's Empire, and thus, SUE). He also named a deck the Hitchcock deck because it was a tribal bird deck (The Birds, in case you didn't follow the reference to Alfred Hitchcock). 

Needless to say, we enjoy nicknames.
Generally just say Zap whenever casting Bolt and her fruity berries[/c].

Great idea for a Wizards Asks!
Grow old or die trying.
Isochron Scepter imprinted with Shrapnel Blast is a BOOMSTICK.

Beloved Chaplain is the Old Man. It's one of my favorite cards, and I've won many a Standard queue with him back in the day, and if you face my Clerics deck at a multiplayer table, you will learn to fear the Old Man Beatdown!

Shrine of Burning Rage and/or Shrine of Loyal Legions is a Can of Whoop-Ass.

- Doug

 

"Collectability is just a code-word for ripping you off." - David Sirlin

Laughed out loud at Large Hedron Collider, Austa. It was all the funnier because I was reading science articles like an hour before.
Ahem, anyway. My submission isn't really a nick name, more like name calling. Dung Rover - which tends to happen when your getting the crap beat out of you by a Dungrove Elder. Typically with a doom blade and an unsummon in your hand.  
Names of some cards here:

Stoneforge Mystic = Lady Gaga
Snapcaster Mage = Jackie Chan
Jace, The Mindsculptor = Jace Mindf****r
Squadron Hawk = Pigeon
Thrun, the last troll = Troll Face

and a bunch of others
Shrine of Burning Love

And "Snake" always refers to the most useful one ever printed, Sakura-Tribe Elder.

"Pointy Stick" refers to any of the five enemy-colored swords, but mostly Sword of Feast and Famine.
Scholars possess such lofty knowledge that it shouldn't be surprising when they fall. -- Hapless Researcher
Isochron Scepter imprinted with Shrapnel Blast is a BOOMSTICK



You know that you still need to sacrifice an artifact each time you cast the blast using the scepter right?
Official Speaker of the Expanded Multiverse Project, Step into Dominia-Embrace the infinite Magic of the Planes. This -> is my favorite smiley, I will use it often and without reason. You have been warned.
The Story of My Love
79035425 wrote:
BURSTING WITH VIGOR!
Trolljuju wiped the sweat from his brow as he continued his slow trudge up the snowy mountain. The wind was strong and fiercely cold, but he pressed against it. Juju knew Beast Engine was somewhere at the peak, waiting for him. But this was not a matter of confronting the forces of nature themselves; that had been accomplished long before, and was now too easy to maintain the manly man's interest. Today, Beast Engine was here waiting for a friend. Trolljuju's mind drifted from his appointment to thoughts of Beast Engine's manliness. The only man in history to punch the fossilized remains of a dinosaur back to life just to punch it to death again. The man who deflected bullets with his pectoral muscles during his daily assassination attempts. The man who cured cancer with a serum made from pure crystalized virility. The man who burst with vigor. Not just a man but a Man- the manliest of all men. A god of masculinity in physical form. Trolljuju's heart fluttered at the memory of him and lightened his steps as he pressed on. Suddenly, he was shaken from his reverie by a deep, powerful rumble in the mountain that shook him to his core. Instinctively, he threw himself to the ground just before the slope ahead of him exploded in a fiery wall of light and heat. So great was the force that the entire upper section of the mountain was vaproized. It scorched Juju's coat, then rose on the air to drift far away, a plume of white-hot ash. When Trolljuju lifted his head to see what was left behind, he beheld a wide, perfectly flat stone plateau, and in the distance he could see a muscular figure, his foot still held up from the kick. There was no doubt it was Beast Engine. As soon as the ground beneath him cooled, Juju cast his heavy pack aside and ran. As the figure grew with closeness, he could see Beast Engine was nude, as was expected. The snow that fell near him turned to a thin wall of steam, looking to Trolljuju's eyes like a barrier. Engine was too strong, too manly to occupy the same space as the ordinary universe. He lived in a world all his own. But fortunately for Juju, it was only an illusion. He ran at full speed into Engine, who caught him with both arms and effortlessly twirled with him, resting with Juju dipped low to the ground in Engine's arms. "Beast Engine, my love," Trolljuju breathed, sturck with awe at Engine's masculine beauty despite the familiarity of his face. Engine just smiled, radiating from every inch of him with incredible strength, yet gentle warmth. "It's been so long, Juju. I've missed you." "Forgive me. I lost contact with you while you were boxing with Death to win back and consume the soul of Theodore Roosevelt. But now I'm here..." Juju lifted one tentative hand to Engine's face, but he pulled away. "You know I cannot give you what you seek. Were we to make love, your body would be destroyed by the force." "I know, of course I would," Juju responded, tears in his eyes. "May I have, at least, one kiss?" "Very well. For you, my friend." Slowly, gingerly, they came closer. But the moment their lips met, a flood of unbridled manliness rushed into Trolljuju, body and soul, and every cell in his body exploded. Beast Engine fell to his knees, and in his grief, he wept. The tears that fell from his face burned deep into the rock beneath him. But slowly, his sorrow turned to conviction. He beat the crap out of Death once. He could do it again.
Me and my friends always called  Rarity: Rare
Color: White
Casting Cost: 3WW
Type: Creature - Archon
Text: Flying. When Archon of Justice dies, exile target permanent.
Power/Toughness: 4/4
Condition: Mint/Near Mint
Language: English">Archon of Justice 
Santa Clause and  WE ARE BUYING! CLICK TO SEE OFFERS!
Rarity: Rare
Color: Artifact
Casting Cost: 2
Type: Artifact
Text: 5, T: Shuffle your library and reveal the top card. Until end of turn, as long as that card remains on top of your library, you may play the card as though it were in your hand without paying its mana cost. If the spell has X in its mana cost, X is 0.
Condition: Mint/Near Mint
Language: English">Temporal Aperture 
Aperture Science. 
Primeval Titan has always been Prime Time at my shop.  Also whenever you use Inferno Titan's trigger it's called burnanating or burnanating the countryside when you clear away the oppposing board.

Emrakul, the Aeons Torn became Emrakul, the **** Torn after seeing him destroy entire tables in EDH.
My friends and I call Hexplate Golem "Sexy Hexy."  It was such a key card in Scars block limited.
Our great & powerful lord Moon Heron. All hail Moon Heron!
i played with an ula's temple deck and had sexy wrexie (wrexial), ESPN 8 the ohco (lorthos), kwik-i-mart (inkwell leviathan), and homework (nemesis of reason)
Mother of Runes is simply "Mom."
Llanowar Elves are "Lawnmower Elves."
Sedris, the Traitor King is "Cedric, the Entertainer King." musevessel.wordpress.com/2011/04/08/wind...

Emrakul is Emmy.
Sakura-Tribe Elder is Steve.
But these are rather known and used already.
OMG click HERE! OMG! How to autocard and use decklist format
--->
For autocarding, write [c][/c] with the name of the card inside it. [c]Island[/c] = Island For linking a card to Gatherer without writting the name of said card for readers, use the autocard brackets together with and equal sign and right the name of the real card. Then put the message you want inside the tags, like you would do with autocarding. Like this: [c=Curse of the Cabal]Captain Never-resolves[/c] = Captain Never-resolves For using the decklist format, follow this: [deck] 4* Terramorphic Expanse 4* Evolving Wilds ... [/deck] It equals:
Real signature, Sblocked for space:
57817638 wrote:
I like storm crow because I really like crows in real life, as an animal, and the card isn't terribly stupid, but packs a good deal of nostalgia and also a chunck of the game's history. So it's perhaps one of the cards I have most affection to, but not because "lol storm crow is bad hurr hurr durr".
Listen to my SoundCloud while you read my signature. The Island, Come And See, The Landlord's Daughter, You'll Not Feel The Drowning - The Decemberists by vimschy IMAGE(http://dragcave.net/image/rkvR.gif)IMAGE(http://dragcave.net/image/L3es.gif) IMAGE(http://dragcave.net/image/m71H.gif)
Quotes
56747598 wrote:
57295478 wrote:
Although I do assume you deliberately refer to them (DCI) as The Grand Imperial Convocation of Evil just for the purposes of making them sound like an ancient and terrible conspiracy.
Now, now. 1994 doesn't quite qualify as "ancient".
56734518 wrote:
Oh, it's a brilliant plan. You see, Bolas was travelling through shadowmoor, causing trouble, when he saw a Wickerbough Elder with its stylin' dead scarecrow hat. Now, Bolas being Bolas took the awesome hat and he put it on his head, but even with all his titanic powers of magic he couldn't make it fit. He grabbed some more scarecrows, but then a little kithkin girl asked if he was trying to build a toupee. "BY ALL THE POWERS IN THE MULTIVERSE!" he roared, "I WILL HAVE A HAT WORTHY OF MY GLORY." and so he went through his Dark Lore of Doom (tm) looking for something he could make into a hat that would look as stylish on him as a scarecrow does on a treefolk. He thought about the Phyrexians, but they were covered in goopy oil that would make his nonexistant hair greasy. He Tried out angels for a while but they didn't sit quite right. Then, he looked under "e" (because in the Elder Draconic alphabet, "e" for Eldrazi is right next to "h" for Hat) in his Dark Lore of Doom and saw depictions of the Eldrazi, and all their forms. "THIS SHALL BE MY HAT!" he declared, poking a picture of Emrakul, "AND WITH IT I WILL USHER IN A NEW AGE OF DARKNESS -- ER, I MEAN A NEW AGE OF FASHION!" And so Nicol Bolas masterminded the release of the Eldrazi.
57864098 wrote:
Rhox War Monk just flips pancakes, and if games have told us anything, it's that food = life.
56747598 wrote:
76973988 wrote:
This thread has gotten creepy. XP
Really? Really? The last couple days have been roughly every perverse fetish imaginable, but it only got "creepy" when speculation on Mother of Runes's mob affiliation came up?
76672808 wrote:
57864098 wrote:
57531048 wrote:
Nice mana base. Not really.
Yeah, really. If my deck was going to cost $1000+, I'd at least make it good.
99812049 wrote:
I like to think up what I consider clever names for my decks, only later to be laughed at by my wife. It kills me a little on the inside, but thats what marriage is about.
56816728 wrote:
56854588 wrote:
Of course, the best use [of tolaria west] is transmuting for the real Tolaria. ;)
Absolutely. I used to loose to my buddy's Banding deck for ages, it was then that I found out about Tolaria, and I was finally able win my first game.
70246459 wrote:
WOAH wait wait wait
56957928 wrote:
You know, being shallow and jusdgmental aside, "I later found out that Jon infiltrated his way into OKCupid dates with at least two other people"
56957928 wrote:
"I later found out that Jon infiltrated his way into OKCupid dates with at least two other people"
56957928 wrote:
Jon infiltrated his way into OKCupid dates
56957928 wrote:
OH MY GOD
109874309 wrote:
The only way I'd cast this card is into a bonfire.
82032421 wrote:
The short answer is that there's no rule barring annoying people from posting, but there a rule barring us from harassing them about it.
56747598 wrote:
Browbeat is a card that is an appropriate deck choice when there's no better idea available. "No better idea available" was pretty much the running theme of Odyssey era.
56874518 wrote:
Or perhaps it was a more straightforward comment indicating a wish for you to be bitten (Perhaps repeatedly) by a small yet highly venomous arachnid.
70246459 wrote:
58280208 wrote:
You're an idiot, and I'm in no mood for silliness.
57817638 wrote:
57145078 wrote:
You just... Vektor it.
That's the answer to everything.
70246459 wrote:
58347268 wrote:
I think the problem is that you don't exist.
This would sound great out of context!
56965458 wrote:
Modern is like playing a new tournament every time : you build a deck, you win with it, don't bother keeping it. Just build another, its key pieces will get banned.
57864098 wrote:
57309598 wrote:
I specifically remember posting a thread when I was just a witty bitty noob.
You make it sound like that's still not the case.
58325628 wrote:
Rap is what happens when the c from crap is taken away.
Doug Beyer:
But sometimes it's also challenging. Because sometimes OH MY GOD, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THING?
141434757 wrote:
Flashforward five thousand years (Click for atmosphere) :
57927608 wrote:
to paraphrase Jeff Goldblum, Vektor finds a way.
58347268 wrote:
when in rome **** AND PILLAGE
143229641 wrote:
I always find it helpful when im angry to dress up in an owl costume and rub pennies all over my body in front of a full body mirror next to the window.
Dymecoar:
Playing Magic without Blue is like sleeping without any sheets or blankets. You can do it...but why?
Omega137:
Me: "I love the moment when a control deck stabilizes. It feels so... right." Omega137: "I like the life drop part until you get there, it's the MtG variant of bungee jumping"
Zigeif777:
Just do it like Yu-Gi-Oh or monkeys: throw all the crap you got at them and hope it works or else the by-standers (or opponents) just get dirty and pissed.
57471038 wrote:
58258708 wrote:
It's true that Alpha and Beta didn't contain any cards like Tarmogoyf, Darksteel Colossus, or Platinum Angel. It just contained weak, insignificant cards like Black Lotus, Mox Sapphire, and Time Walk.
Normally it's difficult to pick up on your jokes/sarcasm. But this one's pretty much out there. Good progress. You have moved up to Humanoid. You'll be Human in no time.
91893448 wrote:
94618431 wrote:
I didn't know Samurai were known to be able to cut down whole armies...
They can when they're using lightsabers!
57129358 wrote:
97980259 wrote:
My wife brought home a baby black squirrel they found on a horse track and cared for it for a few days. We named it Grixis, but it died.
Unearth it!
70246459 wrote:
[/spoiler] And I'm on Magic Arcana. How about you? Oh, by the way, I'm also on From the Lab now. Twice, actually. And now with my own submited decklist!
One friend always mispronounces this one card as Stoneforge Mythic.

Another friend has Big Mama in her deck.

And I have Fluffy.
A friend of mine once wrote a spoof play called "The Dalmation of Faust".

That obviously led to me rechristening a card Choice of Dalmations, and of course later Dalmation. Look, it's a close-up of a black spot on a white dog!

I draft with a guy who replaces random nouns with "****" or "dicks" because it bothers another person who has a tendancy to go... I don't quite get it, but it gets quite hilarious under some contexts.


I like "George Harrison" or "Harry Georgeson" (because I like to hum "Here Comes the Sun"), and plan to alter one with George Harrison's face after they're cheaper on the secondary market. That also runs into George's Envoy and The 70s

IMAGE(http://i998.photobucket.com/albums/af108/acatan/sigwynzermancopy.png) Signature by IMAGE(http://www.poke-amph.com/heartgoldsoulsilver/sprites/258.png)
When I was at the Scars of Mirrodin prerelease, I lovingly dubbed our favorite lil exploding plushy "taliban myr."

but besides that, my playgroup has several fun names.  that infecty dragon nobody can pronounce became Skitty, my 300 card battle of wits deck is known as The Monstrosity,  primeval titan became prime **** (this post is pg-13), we overemphasize the H on draining whelk, forgotten ancient is known by its italian name, always announced like a wrestler, ANTIIIIICOOOOOO  OLVIDARRROOOOO!!!!!  

the list goes on but i forget it.
G-****.

Prime Time.

Frosty.

Sun Titan and Inferno haven't recieved common names yet despite seeing more play in our area than Frosty, just not as easy I guess.

Birds = Bait.
Quag Vampire= Quagmire (giggity)

Anyone ever call a hypnotic specter a "hippy"? We do!

My groop calls citanual flute "cheater" now that its post stoneforge mystic. 
I've always enjoyed Explosive Vegetarians.
I really like that fluffy bit.

My apologies for the autocard fail.

Thanks to the old playgroup (now disbanded & scattered to [n=the 23 winds]Countersquall[/n]) at Valley College, Akroma will always be [n=Bitchface]Akroma, Angel of Wrath[/n].  Thanks to Planar Chaos, we have [n=Bitchface on the rag]Akroma, Angel of Fury[/n] (or [n=Red-Tailed Hawk]Akroma, Angel of Fury[/n] if you want to be more respectful of women); in fact, whenever there's a new multikeyworded beatstick/reanimation target, I affectionately call it [n=New Bitchface]Sphinx of the Steel Wind[/n] or [n=Bitchface 2.0]Baneslayer Angel[/n].


There have been other nicknames since then:


[n=Generic 70s Pornstar Guy]Hellcarver Demon[/n], [n=Zatoichi the Mad]Ruhan of the Fomori[/n] (or just Zatoichi), [n=Roger the Shrubber]Skinshifter[/n], [n=D. B. Woodside]Echo Mage[/n] (some have said the rapper Common, but I don't see it as much as I do the actor), [n=Jennifer Tilly & Laurence Fishburne]Crafty Pathmage[/n] (amazingly, these two have yet to do anything together irl), [n=Double DDs!!]Dauntless Dourbark[/n] (this one was suggested to me by a player whom I trounced w/my Treefolk deck), [n=Kabuki Boy]Bull Cerodon[/n] (or, more accurately, Kabuki Beast), [n=Castlevania Dracula]Lord of Lineage[/n], [n=Tyne Daly]Maelstrom Archangel[/n].

Just a quick shoutout:  "Shut up, [n=Meg]Meglonoth[/n]!"

Continuing on: [n=Bruce Spence]Massacre Worm[/n] (bonus cool points if you can figure that one out; to confuse the issue, I'll say that Goofy's yell of surprise & alarm is something of a clue...), [n=The Freshmaker]Novablast Wurm[/n] (c'mon, with a mouth like that?  How could I not?!), [n=You'll just hafta imagine some kind of unprintable & unpronouncable symbol that incorporates zombies somehow]Prince of Thralls[/n] (or just [n=Darling Nikki]Prince of Thralls[/n]), [n=Alice "The Borg Queen" Krige]Sheoldred, Wispering One[/n], [n=PornThumb]Silvos, Rogue Elemental[/n] (this one's a bit tricky, I know, so I'll explain it.  Remember Green Guy's Link-o-rama?  Remember how they shamelessly ripped off the Hitchhikker's mascot?  And there you are.), [n=Jwar-Jwar Sphinx]Sphinx of Jwar Isle[/n], [n=Lady Sov]Sphinx Sovereign[/n], [n=#42 on the Korean Takeaway]Supreme Exemplar[/n], [n=George Hamilton]Szadek, Lord of Secrets[/n], [n=Episode IV Princess Leia]Ardent Plea[/n] & [n=Episode VI Princess Leia]Student of Warfare[/n], [n=Michael Jackson]Kentaro, the Smiling Cat[/n], [n=Brickfish!]Noggin Whack[/n], & finally [n=Badtouch]Phage the Untouchable[/n].

I'm sure there are others, I just can't think of any more right now.

These are totally unrelated to the topic, but 1) doesn't the guy in the 5th Edition illustration for [n]Gauntlets of Chaos[/n] look like Val Kilmer, & 2) I'm starting a petition to keyword the "must attack each turn if able ability to "Aggressor".
The letter for autocard is C not N

and the actual name of the card goes after the =, you have it backwards
Official Speaker of the Expanded Multiverse Project, Step into Dominia-Embrace the infinite Magic of the Planes. This -> is my favorite smiley, I will use it often and without reason. You have been warned.
The Story of My Love
79035425 wrote:
BURSTING WITH VIGOR!
Trolljuju wiped the sweat from his brow as he continued his slow trudge up the snowy mountain. The wind was strong and fiercely cold, but he pressed against it. Juju knew Beast Engine was somewhere at the peak, waiting for him. But this was not a matter of confronting the forces of nature themselves; that had been accomplished long before, and was now too easy to maintain the manly man's interest. Today, Beast Engine was here waiting for a friend. Trolljuju's mind drifted from his appointment to thoughts of Beast Engine's manliness. The only man in history to punch the fossilized remains of a dinosaur back to life just to punch it to death again. The man who deflected bullets with his pectoral muscles during his daily assassination attempts. The man who cured cancer with a serum made from pure crystalized virility. The man who burst with vigor. Not just a man but a Man- the manliest of all men. A god of masculinity in physical form. Trolljuju's heart fluttered at the memory of him and lightened his steps as he pressed on. Suddenly, he was shaken from his reverie by a deep, powerful rumble in the mountain that shook him to his core. Instinctively, he threw himself to the ground just before the slope ahead of him exploded in a fiery wall of light and heat. So great was the force that the entire upper section of the mountain was vaproized. It scorched Juju's coat, then rose on the air to drift far away, a plume of white-hot ash. When Trolljuju lifted his head to see what was left behind, he beheld a wide, perfectly flat stone plateau, and in the distance he could see a muscular figure, his foot still held up from the kick. There was no doubt it was Beast Engine. As soon as the ground beneath him cooled, Juju cast his heavy pack aside and ran. As the figure grew with closeness, he could see Beast Engine was nude, as was expected. The snow that fell near him turned to a thin wall of steam, looking to Trolljuju's eyes like a barrier. Engine was too strong, too manly to occupy the same space as the ordinary universe. He lived in a world all his own. But fortunately for Juju, it was only an illusion. He ran at full speed into Engine, who caught him with both arms and effortlessly twirled with him, resting with Juju dipped low to the ground in Engine's arms. "Beast Engine, my love," Trolljuju breathed, sturck with awe at Engine's masculine beauty despite the familiarity of his face. Engine just smiled, radiating from every inch of him with incredible strength, yet gentle warmth. "It's been so long, Juju. I've missed you." "Forgive me. I lost contact with you while you were boxing with Death to win back and consume the soul of Theodore Roosevelt. But now I'm here..." Juju lifted one tentative hand to Engine's face, but he pulled away. "You know I cannot give you what you seek. Were we to make love, your body would be destroyed by the force." "I know, of course I would," Juju responded, tears in his eyes. "May I have, at least, one kiss?" "Very well. For you, my friend." Slowly, gingerly, they came closer. But the moment their lips met, a flood of unbridled manliness rushed into Trolljuju, body and soul, and every cell in his body exploded. Beast Engine fell to his knees, and in his grief, he wept. The tears that fell from his face burned deep into the rock beneath him. But slowly, his sorrow turned to conviction. He beat the crap out of Death once. He could do it again.
Playing Gnarlid Pack = "shredding the gnar gnar." 
Going through some old cards, I came across a relic from ROE Limited that had quite the renowned nickname: good ol' Innocence Tube.