You Know You''re an Old School D&D Nerd When...

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1.  You used the Punching and Wrestling rules from 2e (or Pummeling rules from 1e) to determine the results of mock fights between friends... including an unmodified d20 roll to hit AC10 plus the associated KO results

2.  Reading through a recently acquired bit of treasure, a 1e DMG, reminds you of said mock fights.

3.  Whenever you see advertising for certain companies (such as THAICO), your brain automatically translates it into the closest D&D equivalent (...THAC0 etc)

4.  You had to come up with interesting euphemisms when talking about playing D&D when at school (hey, let's hit up the portable at lunch for pinwheels and wagons!)

5.  You remember when magic really WAS magic.

6. You remember when your party had an ogre mage, a half dragon psionic, an minotaur knight...and your 1st level *insert whatever weakling race here*   Oh yeah, and although nothing was even remotely balanced, you still had to suck it up, princess.

7.  1 hit point wizards.  Enough said. (ie, my character, mentioned above)

8.  You mock newer nerds for jumping on a trendy band wagon, instead of roughing it out on the fringes of society during the hard years, like you had to

9.  You have an original "I Survived the ETOE!" T-shirt. (much in the vein of the newer, and just as rare, "I survived the RTTETOE!"... personally, I went through about 3 characters and only made it part way through!)

10.  You had to go into the "back room" to purchase your d&d books   Or you recieved dirty looks from more reputable stores...
@number 6... I got the original red box in my basement ad I dont remember any of them as options.  What is old school about them again?
11. When you stats array are arranged as follow:


12. When you add an additional attribute called Comliness

13.  When you have 274 dices of 16 different colors with of those 27 set 24 are missing up to 5 dices.            
14. 25mm lead miniatures were really 25mm and actually had lead in them. The sculpting was meh and you painted them with Testor's model paints. Your paint job actually made the mini look worse than before. When your friends would try to compliment your work, the conversation went something like this: Friend - "Nice tavern wench." You - "That's my character Ragnar, the chaotic evil Anti-Paladin, the right hand of Orcus." Friend - "Oh. But why is she pouring a drink?" You - "That's HIS sword." Friend - "Oh." Also, you never actually used the miniature in any significant way in the game. It mostly sat next to your character sheet on the play table(if you sat at a table).
Number twelve is from the Grayhawk boxed set I belive. I wish I knew where mine went off to. I liked it.

14- You know you're an old school DnD nerd when you refer to your dwarf fighter as 'demihuman' and the other players are like "Demi-huh?"

Oh, and #12 (the Comeliness stat) was first introduced in Unearthed Arcana for 1st edition I believe.
/\ Art
16- you ever asked "what's the speed factor of a kobold?"

17- you had the races the Charm Person could charm memorized.

18- you got excited when your character got the +1 hammer that went perfectly with your Girdle of Hill Giant Strength and Gauntlets of Ogre Power.

19- You remember the 1E Vs 2E edition wars

20- you saw Mazes and Monsters when it 1st aired.
21 - When being an elf was a class.

22 - When you could determine the alignment of an NPC by talking to them in "Alignment"

23 - When you remember what a "Thoul" was or what was meant by "Bree-Yark"

24 - When you had to calculate the volume of a fireball compared to the volume of the dungeon you were in... just in case you blew up your party.

25 - You comprehend the beauty of low altitude air dropped petrified sperm whales created from a bag of mice
UTC +10 (UTC +11 from October-March) I know what "bree-yark" really means. Fear my wrath!
19- You remember the 1E Vs 2E edition wars.

Was there really? I cant tell them apart.
26 - Phil & Dixie were your favorite comic strip characters

27 -  When someone asked you what kind of deck you played with, you told them a Deck of Many Things

28 - You based your 1st cavalier character on Galtar from Galtar and the Golden Lance(both of which strangely came into being in 1985)

29 -  Bards were the most powerful character one could be, and the process of becoming a bard was strenuous.

30 - Thieves Cant wasn't a complaint, it was a language

31 - You didn't have to plan a 20 level build before you made a 1st level character
Greyhawk box set came out a couple of years before UA.

Bree yark!!!
32- You owned a dragon bone!

33- Dragon Magazine had an April Fools, a Halloween, and a Christmas edition.

34- Drow were unknown

35- Owning a Flame Tongue was great, unless it was intelligent.

36- Fighters used bows

37- Wormy was your second favorite Comic strip

38- Expedition to the Barrier Peaks!

39- Save or die monsters (Rot Grubs, Rust Monster, Beholder, Intellect Devourers, Green Slime, etc...)

40- Dragons could be knocked out!
41) When your Fighter uses his Thife Skills And it Works perfectly if not better then the rouge useing his "Thief" skills.  Aka

Open Lock? : Smash / Foot

Sneak? : As If / Boots of Silence

Disarm Trap? : Ouch / 10 Ft Pole     

Sneak Attack? : Sunder Head

Search? : Smash that funny looking wall over there ...

42) You got a name like mine ^.^ Becouse you where a WEE Little kid when the THAC0 System was out and you keept mispelling it Thako And it Stuck with you

43) When the Cocky Wizard player beleves hes untouchible and you toss a Cat At him remebering the good old days they lost Duels to the Death with Said Cat.

44) When a New Group of players want to play 3E with you and are pretty darn new to the game,  You are able to find ways to BOTH play in there so called Hardcore Game take your turn in under 2 minutes flat are able to keep in touch with pretty much whats going on.  While you found out that one of your buddies who brought you to this group happins to have BioShock and you decided to play that Game and Beat it Before the day it out.  And you can recall the instructions the NPc Gave your group perfectly and no one eles can.  But decided to ignore you becouse your playing BioShock and dont beleve that youve been in much harder situations back in AD&D and beleve 3E is hardcore with 5d6 Top 4 for Stats.

True Story I couldnt help but remeber my Childhood with chain lightning traps and fireballs being tossed at level 2 and it was considerd the norm

45) When the DM Gos I'll allow any Race/Class even if it has CR you just have to follow the rules template makes you face palm and pull out your Half Stone Giant Dire WearBore of Lichness with 3 other templates you cant even remeber anymore and You go "Leveling/XP? Pssh Please I'll carry this whole group to level 20 into the Epic levels with my level 1 Fighter!

Another True Story.

46) You still consider the modern Day Drow to be Whimps / Weaklings compares to what they use to be.

47) A Fighter useing a XBow or a Bow was a thing to Fear and eveyone knew it.  Now most people view it and Laugh till you Pretty much Head Shot things 100+ Feat away and start rampaging in the campain from being to powerful and making eveyone quiet and pissed off at you becouse at first they thought you where to weak and that there wizard would beat the snot out of you,  And now your pretty much Head Shoting eveything

48) You use to turn on the old school Ninendo Games to help out with some random Music being played during X Battle scenes or such ... Ah The good old days

49) You just got a new magic weapon and the Store Keep wants 100 gold to Tell you what it is.  You say Pssh walk out into the empty near by field and swing it around and after 5 mins your able to tell what da puck this Sword/Weapon of yours is, You remeber doing that and you still do it half the time.

50) You remeber when people use to have Hype about how Bad 3E was going to be and how much they shouldnt of stoped producing AD&D books and refused to enter 3E and was Convinced it wasnt going to go anywhere and you remeber people talking about it even after 8 years of 3E being out.

and Then you find yourself Agreeing with them that 3E did suck and couldnt beleve you wasted that much time playing 3E and wish you had spent thouse 8 Years playing AD&D insteed.

51) Your DMING a Game and still find yourself Total Party killing a Fresh new group of players who just started playing 3E or 4E with a few simple monsters without trying all that much with Some simple tactics (Example,  Well Wizard is right there alone ... I can charge him with this guy ... k Im going to charge) and unit arrangments and when they declare the monsters are to intelligent you go "Sorry for killing half of you or more But these are Hobgoblins and this normaly is a Standard Size Battle"

But then you found yourself wishing you realy did kill off the whole group later.

52) You beleve in Tag Teaming with the DM Session becouse you want to both DM and be a player in the same campain and have come up with a system with a close friend that allows both you and him to pretty much do the same darn thing.            
53) You would charge a storm giant riding a red dragon, rampage a Lloth with a combination of your ridiculously powerful psionics and giant weapons,  but wet your pants and run away if that Wight got within 50' of you.

54) You know what 10" means in game terms.

55) You know that The Wilderlands was not published by Necromancer games.

56) Having psionics basically made you a god.

57) You hoped to God no one would cast haste on you.

58) You regret that low constitution score wen you try to Polymorph yourself.

59) Wishes.  You know that no Magic Shield +37 of Invulnerability in all the planes can protect you from DM abuse.

60) You remember when all weapons did 1d6 damage, all classes had d6 HD, and thieves were called thieves, and were NOT intended for combat at all.

61) Modron. 
62) you remember using the rules in the 2nd edition DMG to determin how much XP each player was worth, in our case my older brother was worth the most XP.
becouse he insisted that having a drivers licence and a car gave him an atack that did more then 5d6 damage. 
63. You have to loose a Constitution Point when raised from the dead.
64. You refuse to be raised, because you won't play your character with one less point of Con!

My RPG Campaigns


I joke that D&D Next is what happens when, A Christmas Carol-like, 3rd & 4th edition's ghosts travel back in time to an evening near the end of AD&D 2E's life, and say "this is what is coming" and so AD&D 2E heads off in a different direction. So, it's like alt-reality AD&D 3rd, maybe?Cam Banks


*looks at his complete collection of Phil & Dixie comics sitting on his bookcase and smiles*

65: You remember when monsters had rarities, typical encounter amounts, and habitats listed in their entries.
66: You remember when monster manuals came in large 3 ring binders.
I_Roll_20s @twitter. Not always SFW. I may prefer 4e, but I will play and enjoy almost any edition, and indeed almost any table top RPG, with my friends. Down with Edition Wars. Shut up and roll your dice. :P
67)  When someone shouts "!@#$ the Blumes!" you run up and hug them.
68)  You had tears in your eyes when you found out E. G. G. died. 
69)  You labeled 3/3.5 as TETSBN
70)  "This battle is pointless!"
        "It had better be.  We're all Clerics!"

OD&D, 1E and 2E challenged the player. 3E challenged the character, not the player. Now 4E takes it a step further by challenging a GROUP OF PLAYERS to work together as a TEAM. That's why I love 4E.

"Your ability to summon a horde of celestial superbeings at will is making my ... BMX skills look a bit redundant."

"People treat their lack of imagination as if it's the measure of what's silly. Which is silly." - Noon

"Challenge" is overrated.  "Immersion" is usually just a more pretentious way of saying "having fun playing D&D."

"Falling down is how you grow.  Staying down is how you die.  It's not what happens to you, it's what you do after it happens.”

71) You filled in the number on your first set of dice with a crayon!


72)  There were no Fighters or Wizards.  There were Fighting-Men and Magic-Users.
73)  The DM made all the attack rolls for everyone in combat and you subtracted "hits" from your character.
74)  Androids from Barsoom were suggested as interesting foes.
75)  You miss OD&D but you don't actually want to PLAY it because it kinda sucked.

OD&D, 1E and 2E challenged the player. 3E challenged the character, not the player. Now 4E takes it a step further by challenging a GROUP OF PLAYERS to work together as a TEAM. That's why I love 4E.

"Your ability to summon a horde of celestial superbeings at will is making my ... BMX skills look a bit redundant."

"People treat their lack of imagination as if it's the measure of what's silly. Which is silly." - Noon

"Challenge" is overrated.  "Immersion" is usually just a more pretentious way of saying "having fun playing D&D."

"Falling down is how you grow.  Staying down is how you die.  It's not what happens to you, it's what you do after it happens.”

76.  You refused to color in the numbers on your dice with a crayon so it was easier to cheat.
77.  Level 1 TPK by aurumvorax FTL. (Oh, but the riches if you won.)
78. 18/00.  'Nuff said.

68)  You had tears in your eyes when you found out E. G. G. died. 

  Creative Character Build Collection and The Magic of King's and Heros  also Can Martial Characters Fly? 

Improvisation in 4e: Fave 4E Improvisations - also Wrecans Guides to improvisation beyond page 42
The Non-combatant Adventurer (aka Princess build Warlord or LazyLord)
Reality is unrealistic - and even monkeys protest unfairness
Reflavoring the Fighter : The Wizard : The Swordmage - Creative Character Collection: Bloodwright (Darksun Character) 

At full hit points and still wounded to incapacitation? you are playing 1e.
By virtue of being a player your characters are the protagonists in a heroic fantasy game even at level one
"Wizards and Warriors need abilities with explicit effects for opposite reasons. With the wizard its because you need to create artificial limits on them, they have no natural ones and for the Warrior you need to grant permission to do awesome."


79: Ignoring chunks of the rules in the book was considered cool and good (Weapons vs. Armor type? Pshaw!)

80: Kobolds were canine.

81: Percentile dice were used often, d12s were not.

82: 10' x 10', orc and pie.
83 - You used Dragonriders of the Styx figures instead of miniatures.

84 - There were only 3 alignments: Lawful, Neutral, Chaotic

85 -  You didn't have to have skill points to: Ride a horse, sail a boat, forge a document, barter with a merchant, swim, climb, jump, dance, play an instrument, forge armor and weapons, know information, use a magic item, tie a rope, etc., etc., ad nauseum.

86 - You had to make sure that your mom didn't look to closely at your game books, because some of them contained naughty pictures.

87 - The game books had humorous cartoons in them.

88 - Spell components were actually a joke, not just something people ignored because they are annoying.

89 - You used the Dungeon! board game as a map for an actual dungeon.

90 -  You wondered how the characters in the D&D cartoon ever gained experience when they refused to kill a single orc.

91 - D&D didn't have its own comic book, but they did have mini-comic advertisements in comic books.

An addition to #80 - ... and orcs looked like pigs
92 - You can still quote the classes of the D&D cartoon characters from the intro...  "Fear not, Ranger!  Barabarian, Magician, Thief, Cavalier, and Acrobat!"  (without looking it up)

93 - You tried to make up game stats for the D&D cartoon characters' magic weapons.

94 - You lamented the death of Aleena the Cleric and took great pleasure in hunting down Bargle.

95 - You made your own character sheets on graph paper.

96 - You could never go due north when exploring the wilderness. (Hex grids!)

97 - You were intensely curious about Theodore Baldic and his adventures in Ragnar Keep and his service to Lord Lionheart.

All around helpful simian

33- Dragon Magazine had an April Fools, a Halloween, and a Christmas edition.

One of the few editions of ANY magazine that I regret no longer having is the issue of Dragon that had the April Fool "issue" in the middle, with the "cover" picture of How to Reason with a Dragon.

I WANT that picture!

"The world does not work the way you have been taught it does. We are not real as such; we exist within The Story. Unfortunately for you, you have inherited a condition from your mother known as Primary Protagonist Syndrome, which means The Story is interested in you. It will find you, and if you are not ready for the narrative strands it will throw at you..." - from Footloose
98.  You think that when the monster stat box includes the words 'This monster is the result of genetic engineering by a mad wizard.  It attacks on sight and always fights to the death,' this constitutes a daring dominance of fluff over crunch.

99.  Your character goal is that one day your party is going to find a statue of a horned demon and on that day your character is going to lever a giant gem out of its eye.
Hoard: may earn you gp; Horde: may earn you xp.
100. Your whitebox copy of Men & Magic is so beaten up it is no longer legible.
D&D & Boardgames If I have everything I need to run great games for many years without repeating stuff, why do I need to buy anything right now?
19- You remember the 1E Vs 2E edition wars.

Was there really? I cant tell them apart.

Not that I noticed.  2e was initially little more than AD&D, consolidated, errata'd and edited a bit better - with color interior art. 
The art was the most noticeably difference.



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101- You know what a c.l.c.p. is and keep some on hand at all times

102- Barbarians get EXP for breaking magic items.

103- you run a MuC.     
The sea looks at the stabillity of the mountian and sighs. The mountian watches the freedom of the sea and cries.
I haven't read all of them yet, so I may have missed this but:

104 - you remember when your class was halfling.

105 - you remember designing a cleric/magic-user/fighter/illusionist/druid/monk/paladin/ranger/assassin

106 - you remember having 20/16 strength

107 - your arcane archer killed the party cleric in 1 round after being dominated by a level 12 monster; but 6 baalors couldn't hurt the same cleric in the next encounter

108 - you designed a character with 50000 hp who could do 12000 damage per attack and could auto dispel 46 level 400 epic wards before combat started

109 - you hit someone 15 times with blade cascade

110 - you rolled your first die while you were still unborn
111. You still roll Moral for your Monsters.

112. You still roll to determing chance of Surprise with 1d6

113. You still roll for Random Encounters

114. You have Infravision 60'

115. Your party chooses Kits.

116. You have a Secondary Skill. 

117. Your fresh kill gives of Treasure X, K (x2) and Z 
118. You carried a wooden weapon, such as a club, in case you had to fight a rust monster.

119. Similarly, even at 1st level you carried garlic, wolfsbane, and a silvered mirror, all of which were avilable in even the most humble of game book equipment lists.
120.  You're convinced that any discarded cloak found lying around a cellar has a one in six chance of helping you hide better and a one in six chance of killing you as soon as you try it on.

121.  If you find a discarded cloak lying around a cellar you try it on anyway.
Hoard: may earn you gp; Horde: may earn you xp.
122. You have Magic Resistance.
123. Not only do you know what THAC0 is, but you know how to use it.

124.  You know the real meaning of "I wouldn't touch that with a 10' pole".

125.  Sunrods are too easy.


126. You remember when plain, old Plate armor was THE heaviest armor you could get.

127. You found fellow gamers by puting/pulling slip-cut tabs from sheets on the bulletin board at the game store.

128. You knew Dwarves and Halflings couldn't be magic users but got some nifty bonuses because of their unmagical nature.
129. Your Dwarf has to roll to determine if funky things happen to him when putting a magical ring on.
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