Need a spot of help designing a unique magical item

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One campaign im running is heavily focused on relics and ancient items. Currently im working on building a Bag of Infinite Possibilities. An Epic Bag of Holding that has been around for eons and no one truly knows what is stored in it. everything from a simple apple to dangerous magical items, to puking gnomes. Im trying to build the list to 1000 items and only have 736 so far. got any suggestions? i already have a good amount of mundane crap so looking for more fun/random stuff. Here are a few examples of what kinda stuff im looking for. Anything that could be harmful, helpful, annoying, or just plain weird is what im looking for. 

726. Pull out a confused and bewildered gnome. Dressed in common clothing. He looks rather ill and exhausted. He is mute until asked a question then he begins puking. Puking nonstop, thick vile smelling nasty colored vomit. doesn’t stop regardless of heal spells. All make save 14 vs. nausea. After 5 rounds if party still near him fort saves again against -2 moral on saves and bab as well as nausea dc25 

299. Flock of flamingos that follows group for rest of day. 20 flamingos and all hiding and sneaking is at a -20 penalty due to noise of birds which preferentially congregate around anyone sneaking. Attacking them is useless. 

046.Green mushroom with white spots and eyes, were a player to die after eating this mushroom they would disappear with all of their gear and reappear 20 feet in the air above where they died. If this would kill them again(over chasm or lava) appear over safe ground up to 100 feet away from site of death. If no such place exists they appear in the air above spot anyways. Effect only lasts one death. 

700.T-virus canister with warning labels all over it. if released characters are forced to make a fort 18 or gain virus if fail remove curse or cure disease works, otherwise after two days of excruciating pain enter rage and attack all non infecteds, all NPCs in mile radius are turned instantly. The campaign is put on hold and the players must end epidemic by killing what DM feels is appropriate amount of zombies. If they don’t feel like fixing problem the zombies seek them out anyways. 

221.Adorable looking Crocheted doll, if anyone comments on its cuteness it comes to life pulls a pin from its pocket and pokes itself in the leg, the commenter takes one point of damage and feels pain in leg, doll keeps stabbing itself and tries to run away while it does so, each successful stab is another point of damage 

222.lit stick of tnt fuse delay is 6 seconds deals 6d4 force 6d6 fire damage 

559. Frisbee of translocation. If thrown (works three times a day. ) one who threw it is transported to the spot it landed at. If caught the thrower and catcher switch spots. Aiming at a specific person or place requires a ranged attack. At a person succeed if 15-17. If miss ac then catcher may reflex save (12+ amount missing success.) to catch. If at a specific point DM sets DC depending on throws difficulty. Every point missing DC above or below is one foot over or under thrown. 

111. Magic lamp from Aladdin. If you rub it nothing happens, rub it three times however and sticky white goo is spat out of the spout…about 2 tablespoon worth 

421. Halo jump pad. walking over it propels you 30'up 25' forward and land safely. if jump over it add jump check to previously mentioned stats. 

327. Compass that doesn’t point north but to the nearest stash of treasure not in the parties possesion. (can include banks dragon hordes or nobleman’s estates or museums)
if yall want more ideas to get your creative juices flowing let me know
3rd edition?

Floating life raft marked FF and containing 1d4 traumatized red clad sailors each with 1d6 levels each of rogue, barbarian, fighter, and expert. They're most likely hostile but might simply explode.

A set of fake looking fangs that fit over your teeth, you take a -2 to charisma related checks against vampires, and anyone with a better costume than you. You gain a +2 on intimidate vs. anyone holding candy.

A flumph

A yellow shocker lizard

a rock with the Initials J.P. on it 

someone's marbles

A human leg

A left sock

A all the 4e rule books that were cancelled after essentials

A complete fist sized planet with tiny sentient beings on it

an armored squirrel riding an Ocelot.

Chthulu's baby pictures

fire, not a lit torch or a burning brazier, your hand is on fire

poisonous sea urchin

Book of vile dorkness

a dead man's chest, seats 16

empty beer bottle

underwear

a still beating heart

your own head, which by the way is attached to the rest of your body

a golden triangle

macguffium 239

regard for humanoid life

you get sucked in

 a scroll of cure critical puns

the plot

a drunk orc

A stone with a thin straight crack in it, like there had once been something flat wedged in there

the newt's other eye

a dented helmet

oversived foam novelty finger

a pissy soldier who speaks with a fancy accent and insults everyone who does not use the same accent

Bowser's dignity

a grenade pin

wet mice

a deck of cards with extra aces

the collected works of Doctor Reed Chalmers 

a troll's nose, soon followed by the rest of the troll

bug repellant

the deed to a spooky old castle

any number and kind of M&M except the red ones

a parachute

shopping cart (try describing it in medival terms) you can put stuff in it, but doesn't work on stairs ...

UT's redeemer: unknown power*, launches a tube:
*burst 5 within 20: reflex save or die.

red mushroom that doubles your size until hit

a terrified skunk

the same item as the last roll, but no effect
Qube's block builder: if you want to create blocks for powers, items and monsters for this forum, but don't know html
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XDMC 19 (silver): A full fledged assassins guild (with stats, skill challenges, ...)link XDMC 14 (Bronze): a one shot campaign for beginning DMs/players. link XDMC 16: Paragon path: the Epitome: being better then all then any one else. link (note: this is balanced) XDMC 25: The Gelatinous Cube mount Guide To Disreality: a collection of houserules - Introduction & table of content
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Not exactly what you're looking for per-se, but handy nonetheless:

www.traykon.com/pdf/The_Net_Libram_of_Ra...
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