Weirdest Character You'ved Rolled

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Going over my old toons from past games I discovered some sort of weird backstories, so I was curious as to the nature of everyone else's weirdest character.


My weirdest was surprisingly just a human fighter, but his backstory which I wrote several years ago surpised me upon rediscovery.


It was pretty long so I spare yall the old copy/paste but basically he was the youngest son of two famous opera performers. He had a sweet high voice as a child and so it was decided for him that he would be a castrato. For those of you who doesn't know what that is, it means his testicles were removed to circumvent some of puberty and preserve his voice. Anyway, he spent his teen years playing female roles and envied his older brothers who played powerful masculine roles. So he starts reading stories of knights of old, and kind of pulls a Don Quixote and becomes obsessed with being a brave and masculine knight.


I remember role playing him a little bit. He had lots of complexes (gender confusion, etc), and cross dressed frequently, but always justified it as being tactical (all of his grand plans included him being disguised as a woman).


He also had an oversized singing codpiece with a face at the end. I don't remember how he acquired this in the campaign.


But yeah weird character. What are your weirdest?

way back in the 3rd ed days i had some kind of flying half demon guy who would swoop down from trees in the forest and rob people. i cant remember what specific race or class he was but it was fun for a mini weekend game.

these days my characters are pretty grounded in reality.

I played a female character he was in a male male body, not in a I am a womans trapped in a mans body type of a way, but a I lived most my life as a girl and was cursed irreversably into a guy kinda way.


It was a long time ago and I don't really remember my reasons for that character I'm  gussing I just wanted to play a girl without having everyone else hitting on me all the time.

My Eladrin Swordmage of a couple years ago was addicted to teleporting. Any time he could teleport he would. Get a mug of ale across the tavern? BAMF! Going upstairs? BAMF! Getting into bed? BAMF!
It progressively got worse as he leveled and got items to increase his potential to teleport. If he hadn't used a teleportation power in a few rounds he got antsy and started showing signs of withdrawl. It was a very fun character to play into Epic. 
I'd have to go with my Crazy Cat Lady. I'd love to get a good chance to play her.

In the original version, prior to the nerfing of the Windrise Ports background (which I thought was unjustified... but just barely so), she was a Human (for the extra at-will power and feat) Swarm Druid|Beastmaster Ranger hybrid multiclassed to Shaman for the spirit companion and to something Arcane for a familiar.

Her Beast Companion is a cougar named Sharpness, her Spirit Companion is (she thinks - whether it's true or not is irrelevant) a cat named Mr. Muggles who was her first cat when she was a child and teenager, her familiar is named Lusifee which was the name of cat who took over after Mr. Muggles died, her Wild Shape form is a swarm of housecats, she has a few Druid summon powers which are refluffed as necessary to bring cats, and the 15th-level Druid power Infesting Strike gets refluffed as Dire Fleas.


Infesting Strike Dire Fleas
Daily        Beast Form, Implement, Primal

Standard Action      Close burst 1


Target: Each enemy in the burst


Attack: Wisdom vs. Fortitude


Hit: 2d6 + Wisdom modifier damage. Your swarm infects fleas infest the target (save ends). Enemies that begin their turn infected infested, or that are adjacent to an infected infested enemy, take 5 damage. Adjacent enemies become infected infested upon taking damage (save ends).


  Aftereffect: The target and enemies adjacent to the target are slowed (save ends).


Miss: Half damage, and the target is slowed until the end of your next turn.



I also decided that her Wild Shape form, um, sort of leaks. (For those who've played Changeling in the World of Darkness, think 'slipped seeming'.) When not in Wild Shape, she constantly has a housecat touching her that is of no mechanical significance whatsoever, and doesn't look in any way strange. The age, color, and exact location of this cat are completely mutable and tend to change frequently.


Naturally, she now gets the Animal Master theme. And another cat.


I think the character would probably be a melee controller kind of like a normal beastform-dominant Druid... but I'm not at all confident of that.



"The world does not work the way you have been taught it does. We are not real as such; we exist within The Story. Unfortunately for you, you have inherited a condition from your mother known as Primary Protagonist Syndrome, which means The Story is interested in you. It will find you, and if you are not ready for the narrative strands it will throw at you..." - from Footloose
Well in one of our games I'm currently playing a wild sorcerer, you know where I roll each extended rest for a random element to have resistance to and all.

Anyway, he was originally the captain of the guard for an eladrin mage(he was also an eladrin), but when magic broke(our personal game's way of explaining the change between how things were in 3.5 and changed into 4th, long backstory, wont get into) it was killing the mage and he heard her screams and went up to investigate.  When he got to her the magic lashed out and forcefully created the magical ability in him.  Doing so though shattered his mind.

So when I roll for the random element each one correlates to an emotion or personality that kinda takes dominance.  Not really multiple personalities.  Basically like if I roll and get fire, he'll be really agressive and charging into battle(I wield katars w/ blade channeling so I'm not useless in melee), or when I roll force he acts really child like.  Others include cold(aloof, not just the element), deceptive, boisterous, jittery/spastic, scared, depressed, and overly helpful.

It's been a blast playing though I tend to roll all the bad personalities and rarely the good ones so I know my character bugs the group sometimes, but it's also way too much fun playing him though exhausting with the switching personalities.
In 4e I made a zombie robot ninja pirate from space. Though with the Iron Wolf Barbarian theme and the new Hybrid rules for assassins and vampires I can now make it a Zombie Robot Ninja Pirate Vampire Werefolf from Space.

Revenant (Warforged) Assassin|Warlock (star pact)/Vampire/Sword Coast Corsair/Star Favored Champion - Iron Wolf Barbarian

  After playing for 30 years, I could write a book on odd characters.

My weirdest 4E character is my eladrin feylock mc swordmage Harrow...

(Harrow looks somewhat like a dark non-glam version of David Bowie in Labrynth, but the character is heavily inspired by slasher films and things like that.)

Harrow didn't really sign a Pact, per se.
Harrow is his Pact.
And technically his own Patron, as well.

    An orphaned eladrin raised by humans who had no idea of his fey heritage, the man who would become Harrow was shunned by the folk of his town for his strange appearance. With no knowledge of his true race, Harrow was slowly driven mad by visions of the Feywild as a child, and by teleporting through it when his fey step ability began to develop. He often found himself vanishing in response to stress or suddenly finding himself in a place he was just thinking about, and would regularly scare others by showing up behind them without warning.
   A borderline psychotic, he was unable to deal with the day-to-day details of earning a living in his small community and lived in a ramshackle hut on the edge of town. Many rumors were whispered about him, including the possibility that he was possessed by demons.
   Eventually leaving his village to become a wandering madman, Harrow was always one step ahead of the consequences of the last time he lost his temper or his mind.

    One day, in a foul mood after wildly attacking a drunkard who'd spilled ale on him and being thrown out of yet another tavern for his outburst, Harrow was travelling through a forest on his way to the next town when a small Tinkerbelle-style faerie flew up to him and introduced herself as Alma(something)dorabella(something,something)-Hannabee-Athella(something)archemediahermesia-hera...something something.... (Her name is over thirty seven syllables long).

By the time that "Alma" (or "that damned mosquito", as Harrow calls her) had finished reciting her whole name...
and asking him in a very perky and chipper voice why he wasn't smiling (because everybody knows that smiling makes everything better) and happy...
Harrow was so far into a teeth-gnashing, about-to-bleed-from-the-eyes black rage...

That he grabbed her out of the air and ATE her.

Alma, being an immortal fey, didn't exactly die - she's now inside Harrow, who drains off her ever-renewing magic to power his abilities.
Being immortal, but digested and dispersed throughout Harrow's body, Alma's body regrew into a new form within him, forming something almost like a second central nervous system. She's now just as dependent on Harrow's lifeforce as he is so they currently exist as a symbiotic being, Harrow unable to survive the loss of Alma's power, Alma unable to exist in the real world without Harrow's physical form.

Alma, previously an obliviously happy, cheerful, and annoyingly outgoing fey, has been driven mind-rippingly insane by the whole process, and now constantly projects her insane ravings, emotional outbursts, and scattered thoughts into Harrow's mind like a "little voice in the back of his head" on steroids...

Harrow had always been rather dark and nasty, and one more messed-up voice in his head didn't improve anything. He and Alma have a very co-dependent and dysfunctional relationship, and he has a tendency to fall into screaming, foaming fits, rolling on the ground and babbling in multiple voices while the two of them argue in his mind.

 All of Harrow's powers are flavored as either horror movie special effects or as a glowing green image of Alma coming forth and doing things.



Show

I am the Magic Man.

(Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.)

 

I am the Lawnmower Man.

(I AM GOD HERE!)

 

I am the Skull God.

(Koo Koo Ka Choo)

 

There are reasons they call me Mad...

All these are pretty hilarious. Mad_Jack, your story sounds a lot like a back story from a Guilty Gear character. I don't know if any of yall played that. It's like an over the top Japanese 2D fighting game. Normally I don't like over the top anime stuff, but its a smooth game. Anyway, more on point, the characters have some pretty crazy stories.


On another note, I've always liked to roll characters with weird qualities. I had sort of an overpowered character in 3.5 (DM let me get away with a lil too much in character creation). But he was like a troll who developed multiple personality disorder (or dissociative personality disorder or whatever they call it these days) and thought he was an opulent human noble and perfumier. He was a runt of a troll and lived in a filthy filthy human town which he quickly made himself the ruler of (no one realized he was a troll since everyone was so filthy), and his solution to everything was to spray his people with new perfumes he made. It was an evil campaign, and we all rolled somewhat OP characters to play from the role of major villains. Pretty fun.

I think I just put together my weirdest character... My favorite of the cursed floating spheres thread, the revenant shaman|ranger-in-a-box. Physically, he is a revenant inside a 3' spherical shell of 1/4" magically strengthened steel with the appearance of ruddy bronze. He summons his spirit companion, fluffed to be his own soul, outside of the shell and projects all of his ranged and area attacks from it. His shell is carried on a Tenser's Floating Disk with Tenser's Circular Shield, and must drag his body along with him or else he will vanish outside of its range.

An angry corpse, trapped inside a shell he cannot escape, his spirit lugging around his coffin because it's tethered to his physical body. I imagine him having dug his own grave up, getting frustrated at vanishing every time he was outside of 20 squares of his body, deciding to drag the damn thing around with him because he sure as hell wasn't staying in the damn ground, haunting that pathetic cemetary for all eternity. The triumph of realizing his sheer determination affected the world around him enough to still draw his bow and hunt down those who buried him in their fear, and the elation of knowing his purpose did not end there and he could still accomplish whatever goal he was brought back to life for - whenever he figures out what that is. In the meanwhile, he is one pissed off ghost dragging along his own coffin.
Here's my favourite weird one.

Back in the day, with 2e and its alexandrian sized library of source books, i pulled out a barbarian book and read some fine print. apparently most of them could not only not be literate in most languages, they weren't allowed to take common. sure there was an out of taking goblin of something, but i just picked the spoken languages at random. Ended up with a plains rider barb, big ass club and insane bow skills while riding. or not. Like a native american!

comes time to meet the group and not a one of them had taken goblin, draconic or  the one other i chose. so for that entire session, i spoke no english. well Hotipau, didn't. i told the gm some stuff, good thing i was next to him.

At one point i dash up to the big bad and everyone is saying hit him, kill him. i tell the gm i'm using that feature and role a 20. Crit! yes! they exclaim. GM turns and says you see him reach out and slap big bad with a feathered stick.

Counting coup was good for double exp. but tnone of them knew about it. sitting at the table and arm waving and grunting to get my point across. Awesome!
Chaotic evil dragonborn cleric acrobat FTW!
It's nice to pounce on enemies from rocks and to jump from a boat to a dock to crash land into your enemy.

Your friendly neighborhood Revenant Minotaur Half-Blooded Dragonborn Fighter Hybrid Barbarian Multiclassing into Warlord

IMAGE(http://pwp.wizards.com/1223957875/Scorecards/Landscape.png)

My craziest character... I'm playing a Seeker.

Though I did roll a Githzeria Monk/Cleric named 'Clunk' who was quite a bit of fun but only for a one-shot so he never got a cool backstory.
Not a character but an NPC. He was just a farmer who was serving as a contact for the party, but his presence called for more than just a name. I had a random background generator and started rolling. The dice were feeling rather creative that day, apparently, and this humble farmer had a past that made Indiana Jones look like a stay-at-home mama's boy. So much for the simple farmer who heard rumors now and then. This guy had a barn full of treasures better kept hidden from power-mad villains and tyrants. We worked him into a very prominent NPC throughout a series of campaigns.


Harrow didn't really sign a Pact, per se.
Harrow is his Pact.
And technically his own Patron, as well.





That's kind of like my last character, Hector Rodriguez. While he is mechanically just a Dragonborn Infernal Hexblade, he is flavored as a Dragonborn/Tiefling hybrid. Normally, this would not work, but soon before the time his parents (a female Dragonborn and a male Tiefling) concieved Hector, an exarch of Sehanine decided to make it his job to allow reproduction between species that were normally genetically incompatible. And Hector's parents were the first couple of lovers to be chosen by this exarch...

...But they would also be the last couple to be chosen, as Sehanine realized how much trouble could result from what her exarch was doing, and so, while she didn't abort Hector, she did fire the exarch. And she didn't overestimate the amount of trouble this child would bring, either: Hector was born in the villiage of Scalewood, a primarily Dragonborn community that was full of hatred for Tieflings, on account of the ancient war between Arkhosia and Bael Turath. It was a miracle that they let Miguel Rodriguez, the mysreious Tiefling who would end up siring Hector, into the community, but when the strange, blood-red egg laid by Ylannis Fireheart, Hector's mother, hatched and produced a similarly blood-red dragonborn with horns and a tail, a mob formed to kill Miguel, Ylannis, and Hector. Miguel stayed behind to slow don the mob, and was killed as a result; Ylannis and Hector escaped, and eventually made their way to Hammerfast, a necropolis-turned-city populated, as part of a treaty, by Dwarves and Orcs.

The mother and child were viewed with suspicion by the locals, but a sect of dwarven druids called the "Avalanche Callers" had an ancient prophecy that said that, eventually, a being of joint dragon and devil blood would grow to be a great hero, and so they gave shelter to Ylannis and Hector, thinking that Hector was the being in their prophecy. Hector thus grew up in Hammerfast, and while he was hated by just about every normal person there, he made fast friends with those who weren't so normal, including a dwarf who could see personalities with one of his eyes, and a shifter with literally multiple personalities living in one body. Anyway, it was a result of being bullied as a child that Hector realized he had infernal powers, including a giant blade he could summon at-will.

As Hector grew, he began business as a mercenary. Though few people trusted him, he was hired a few times due to his policy: rather than work for enough money to earn any significant profit, Hector would reduce his prices in exchange for his employer spreading word that Hector was a good person, and not the monster that everyone thought he was. It was after this point that he was entered into the first campaign he was played in; being a competent combatant, he was hired by the city of Hammerfast to guard a caravan sent from Hammerfast to settle the area around the ruins of Inverness. That's where I'll say that the rest is history...

But his story is made even more complex by the origin of his father, Miguel Rodriguez, the Tiefling. Miguel was a member of an adventuring party from centuries into the past, and the goal of that party was to overthrow Asmodeus so that the Nine Hells could be made into a nice place, like they used to be under He-Who-Was. After reaching level 30, the party confronted Asmodeus, who, by unknown means, delevelled the entire party down to 1 and sent them forward in time, when no one would remember the party's deeds. Miguel had only written in his journal of who he really was, and had not even told Ylannis. I had planned on having Hector eventually find the journal and take up his father's quest, but the campaign has ended, so... yeah.
Cannot resist.  3.5e Hobgoblin Fighter, Burshehk Grokhor-kon.  His backstory had him as a slave raider who got to keep some slaves as payment.  One of the ones he gets is a little Elven girl.  Long story short, he starts feeling like a father to her, his tribe makes him kill her to prove his loyalty, he becomes disillusioned and deserts.

The wierd part is how he wound up playing in the campaign.  The first thing he did in town was get his picture drawn with a muscular human as the two were both shirtless and flexing.  Then, eager to do his heritage proud and get back to leading a squad of some sort, he went into a pub looking for "muscular men" to join him in a journey.  Later, in jail (for fighting in the streets), he was in some prison-led community service deal.  During his break, he starts chatting with one of the male guards about life and his dreams, asking the same about the guard.

Our group kept cracking jokes about how he was always looking for men, and if that campaign had gone on, I think he might actually have wound up a manly gay Hobgoblin who poses with muscular strangers.
I still remember Flaw, the broken Warforged as an interesting one. He was basically a mis-production from a creation forge, and subsequently discarded as a "useless piece of scrap".

He was however, mostly functioning. He just had a big hole in his chest through which the magic that animated him leaked out. He eventually became a Fighter/Sorceror who focussed mostly on conjurations and used his own outward leaking magic stream to power his spells.

He was obsessed with building and repairing things, knowing that eventually the animus would run out and he'd be irreparably broken... he just wanted to save other objects his fate, and leave something of himself behind in the world. 
Epic Dungeon Master

Want to give your players a kingdom of their own? I made a 4e rule system to make it happen!

Your Kingdom awaits!
Update 5th Sep 2011: Added a sample kingdom, as well as sample of play.
I once played a sentient rocking chair.  His name was Rocky.

Most fun character I've ever played.
I once played a sentient rocking chair.  His name was Rocky.

Most fun character I've ever played.



He must've been praying for the day when the DM would throw out a load of cat minions!
I had a great time playing the Paladin-who-couldn't back in 3e. Seamus Stonebreaker the religious True neutral dwarven fighter. For those unaware back in 3e a Paladin had to be Lawful Good. Seamus was a very religious follower of a Lawful Good deity and strove to be a paladin, but he didn't quite grasp the tenants of what it meant to be Lawful Good.

He tries very hard to be a paladin and follow the strictures of his deity, however he has holes in his conscious. He doesn't understand why, if a guard is blocking his way he can't lie or bribe the guard, maybe even beat the guard into unconsciousness. Then he wonders why he can't become part of the paladin order. He has a terrible temper as well. If he's attacked by an evildoer, he considers the death penalty the only way to redeem an evil character. He helps the needy when he can and is overall a good person he just isn't disciplined enough and has enough holes in his moral fabric that prevents him from claiming membership in the paladin order.
Well...I didn't exactly roll her yet, still working out the kinks, but I had an Idea of creating a crazy cat lady by making a swarm druid, have her permanatly in beast form and just RP all her swarm powers as hitting people with cats infused with primal magic...she also has cats crawling over her every second of the day
I was the parrot of a space pirate captain. An old, rusty robotic parrot. I was only to (unstably) fly with a exhaust turbine under my tail, and my voice emulator unit did everything I said in a horrible broken speaker-voice.
I, of course, wore an eypatch, and my good eye doubled up as a laser pistol. I also had embedded nuclear missile launchers between my ribs... except they were microscopic and economy-models, so actually only did damage like a light smg.
I spent most of my time firing my laser at random targets, or ridiculing the rest of the crew while they struggled in their everyday tasks, throwing insults with my broken voice and pretending I was imitating somebody else who just said that. And let me just say it's really bad idea to try and fly around some enemies through a vertical ventilation shaft when it's a hard DC acrobatics check to even stay airborne.
Oh, and a wooden peg-leg of course, with an embedded 1-shot grenade launcher.
Well...I didn't exactly roll her yet, still working out the kinks, but I had an Idea of creating a crazy cat lady by making a swarm druid, have her permanatly in beast form and just RP all her swarm powers as hitting people with cats infused with primal magic...she also has cats crawling over her every second of the day


The Crazy Cat Lady (a rather old build - the Windrise Ports background was updated and this character is no longer legal by RAW - I should update her.)
"The world does not work the way you have been taught it does. We are not real as such; we exist within The Story. Unfortunately for you, you have inherited a condition from your mother known as Primary Protagonist Syndrome, which means The Story is interested in you. It will find you, and if you are not ready for the narrative strands it will throw at you..." - from Footloose
Huh...very interesting...can't use beastmaster or hybrids though...
My wife is currently playing a changeling druid named Rum. Rum has a minor ongoing indentity crisis.
"Our idea of rules modules has a wide range of scope; sometimes, our rules modules might just be small tweaks and variant rules, while other times they could be large-scale changes and entirely new subsystems. We want people to make the game their own, and that means provided a whole array of possibilities based on what you, the players, tell us that you want." -D&DNext Q&A Blog, 8/29/12, Answer #3.
A seer whose catchphrases are 'Saw that coming' and 'I knew you were going to say that'.
Another day, another three or four entries to my Ignore List.
Brother Thadeus the singing, pole-vaulting monk. As in a catholic monastic, fisticuffs monk who sang and pole-vaulted in combat. His years of isolation took its toll.
MY favorite and best character was a Gay half elf bard, who as a master of masks, I loved to act like a woman and seduce my friends into having gay sex with me... be I never really made them go through with it. He was real bad ass, could breath fire, had a dragon lord that if I rolled well enough would come save us, and loved to love men.

lol it was actually awesome because we would be going against some ladies, or a succubus and they would try to mind **** one of the guys into protecting them. Except me! I got seduced by some vampire fellas to protect them from my team mates, which was bad news because, alough I was just a bard, I hit like 2nd hardest in the group and I could make people go permenently blind. God I miss that guy....
Drawing your characters. Info here. check it out. Jay-a-d.com
I've got a few.

Doctor Sleepless (yes, he looks like that Doktor Sleepless ), the human Artificer.

He's a scientist, and a haughty one at that. His motto is "The only reason they discovered electricity is because I invented it first!" All of his abilities are flavored as scientific inventions, rather than enchantments. He, in fact, does not believe in magic whatsoever. He declares that all wizards and sorcerers are "charlatans with fancy parlor tricks". He also refuses to believe in the gods, despite all evidence to the contrary. He is entirely convinced that everything in the world has a purely scientific cause, and that he can use that natural cause to power one of his doomsday weapons. His goal is to prove the power of his SCIENCE! and eventually take over the world. He's also completely pants-on-head-insane.

My friend plays alongside me with a Warforged Vampire constructed by Doctor Sleepless, because he "thought it was a good idea at the time". The Warforged is a good deal more sane than Sleepless, and more in touch with reality, but sticks with his creator due to a loyalty chip implanted in him. A loyalty chip surrounded by bombs containing radiant energy which would incinerate him if he tried to remove it.

My second one was Wherefore, the Warforged Bard.

His backstory was that he ended up traveling through the Feywild after the war he was constructed for, and was imbued with the mischievious magics there. Not too much to start with, but he developed through the campaign. He was in a party with an Evil-aligned Swordmage, and was investigating reports of a spy in a tavern. The party wasn't getting anywhere, so the Swordmage went outside and started asking the DM what the building was constructed of, and how many doors were out. Wherefore suddenly stood straight up and bolted outside, grabbing the Swordmage and said "WE ARE NOT BURNING THE BUILDING DOWN." At that moment, Wherefore instantly realized that he was in a RPG, and became meta-aware, and capable of hopping through various time and continuities.

Since then, he's popped up in all of my group's campaigns, no matter who is DMing. He usually exists purely to give out some key piece of exposition, or to act as a Deus Ex Machina. One time my group had snuck out of a besieged city through a tunnel and ended up a good mile away. We realized that we didn't have our horses. The DM had not planned for this, and had our horses run up. Apparently, while the siege was happening, Wherefore strolled up to the horses and said, "Horses! Plot is that-a-way!" and sent them off running to where we would end up.

Whenever we need an explanation for something happening that the DM can't think of, we usually just say "Wherefore did it."
He also refuses to believe in the gods, despite all evidence to the contrary.


I actually had an idea (which I haven't used yet) to do an atheist character. He would believe in magic, but not the gods, so whenever clerics tried to argue with him about how their power proved the existance of the gods, he'd just tell them that they were using magic, and their prayers were irrelevant.

I'd love to come up with a way to make a cleric character who believed this way, but I think it would be hard to come up with an excuse why any god would keep granting him power with a personality like that.


Carpe DM - Seize the Dungeon Master!
I actually had an idea (which I haven't used yet) to do an atheist character. He would believe in magic, but not the gods, so whenever clerics tried to argue with him about how their power proved the existance of the gods, he'd just tell them that they were using magic, and their prayers were irrelevant.

I'd love to come up with a way to make a cleric character who believed this way, but I think it would be hard to come up with an excuse why any god would keep granting him power with a personality like that.


A god could overlook your ignorance in one aspect, by weighing it against your strong points.
You could be doing his/her bidding through your actions, even if you don't believe, just so long as you get results.

Here's one: Reginald the Unlucky

A long time ago, in the city of Luskan, some poor sap named Reginald was having the worst day of his life. His girlfriend dumped him, his parents booted him out of his house, and he got a new job as a sewer-cleaner after his old employer bet Reginald's job in order to gamble back some money, and lost. Oh, and this all happened on 29th Tarsakh, 1385 DR... Also known as the day the spellplague began.

After tripping into the sewage at his new job, Reginald was certain that when he wiped the feces from his eyes, the sewer would still be surrounding him like the smelly labyrinthe that seemed to be his whole life. Well, funny story about that: When he got the feces off his face, he wasn't in the sewers of Luskan anymore; he was magically teleported to the Far Realm as a result of the Spellplague beginning about a second and a half before. After taking all this in, he fainted.

After waking up and realizing he had pinkeye, along with a sensation of numbness in his right arm and a strange feeling in his right shoulder and the right side of his chest, he called out for help, even though he knew he shouldn't have expected anyone to come to his aid. But someone did, and it was much closer than he could have ever guessed. Strangely enough, he felt a shifting in his arm, and soon he felt a rough tentacle-like appendage wiping his eyes clean, followed by the sound of a man's voice saying (in a British Accent) "I was beginning to think you would never wake up. You should see fine now, sir." Now able to see, he looked around, but only saw the twisted layers of the far realm, with his mysterious benefactor nowhere to be seen.

"Down here, sir, to the right of your neck," Reginald heard a few seconds later. And what he saw almost made him vomit. His right arm was replaced with several tentacles, and on the right side of his chest was a single large eye, a couple of slits (which he would later find out could be used for breathing), and a mouth filled with extremely sharp looking teeth, all forming a hideous face. Reginald screamed, and the tentacle which was his arm covered his mouth, while the mouth on his chest calmly said "Be quiet, sir, there are some rather unfriendly things in this realm, and we wouldn't want to meet up with them, now would we, sir?"

Long story short, the Far Realm caused Reginald to develop a surprisingly civilized, self-sentient alien tumor, which replaced his right arm and some of his torso. After what seemed to Reginald like only about a month of wandering the Far Realm, he managed to return to the normal world, only to realize that the fateful day in which he developed Winston (the name of his new appendage) was over a hundred years ago. Since returning, Reginald has somehow done a fine job of hiding Winston, who exudes a phychic aura that influences people around Reginald (perhaps to help hide himself), and ironically became Reginald's best friend in this strange new world still recovering from the Spellplague.

Oh, and Reginald contracted a spellscar, but the spellscar isn't self-sentient.

Reginald is an Ardent, if anyone wants to know, and Winston is represented mechanically by the Foulborn Heritage feat.
He also refuses to believe in the gods, despite all evidence to the contrary.


I actually had an idea (which I haven't used yet) to do an atheist character. He would believe in magic, but not the gods, so whenever clerics tried to argue with him about how their power proved the existance of the gods, he'd just tell them that they were using magic, and their prayers were irrelevant.

I'd love to come up with a way to make a cleric character who believed this way, but I think it would be hard to come up with an excuse why any god would keep granting him power with a personality like that.





Gods don't grant clerics et al. powers.  The powers are granted via a rite of investiture; once granted, they cannot be taken away.
Another day, another three or four entries to my Ignore List.
I just threw one together last night (for posting on the board, not ready - so far - for playing).

There are two concepts behind him. One is that he puts body, mind, soul, and shadow into combat. The other is that he takes being a bare-knuckled fighter to an extreme.

So he's a hybrid Cleric|Centered-Breath Monk with the Wilder theme, PMC Assassin. He has Battle Cleric's Lore and Unarmored Agility, and Dex approximately as high as Wis.  

He wears boots, a hat, a fancy belt, a backpack, and some jewelry. 
"The world does not work the way you have been taught it does. We are not real as such; we exist within The Story. Unfortunately for you, you have inherited a condition from your mother known as Primary Protagonist Syndrome, which means The Story is interested in you. It will find you, and if you are not ready for the narrative strands it will throw at you..." - from Footloose
Recently I've been playing a Drow who's almost always hidden from sight. (rogue-warlock-assassin stealth trick)
He has an arcane familiar dressed up as a tiny shaman, with a wooden totem carved in the Drow's image.
Whenever the Drow is about to attack, the familiar shouts an attack! command at his "spirit companion".
It's proven to be a real challenge both keeping my Drow out of sight, and maintaining the familiar's cover story.
I once had an Elf cleric in 3.5 who wound up being somewhat of a leader and a moral centre for the party, except for the fact that he hated everyone else in his party (you can't always choose your followers...), and would always bring a bottle of wine along on an adventure (which, on occaision would be traded for a good meal and some information).  I think my wierdest, though, was an encounters character.

He is an Eladrin Wizard, who I rolled at Game Day, using the Renegade Red Wizard background.  I didn't think I would like playing a Wizard, but I had never played an arcane character or a controller, so I figured I would try it.  Not caring about the background because I didn't think I would be playing him beyond game day, I decided to joke around with it a little.  He's basically a drifter, claiming to be a "Burgundy Wizard, not a Red one," and who has the very Eladrin-sounding name "Jimmy McJimmers" (we think it might be fake...)

You may laugh, but it's better than half the names that Wizards comes up with for Encounters NPC's (I kid, I kid...)

I wound up actually liking the character, both mechanically (beguiling strands with +2 forced movement?  Sign me up!) and in terms of backstory, that I played him through encounters (at least, until I started working Wednesday evenings), and then when I was asked to create a level four character for another campaign with this DM, rolled a "Renegade Maroon Wizard" named "Timmy McTimmers"

The one flaw is that now my DM refers to every character I make as "Jimmy"
DM advice: 1. Do a Session Zero. 2. Start With Action. 3. Always say "Yes" to player ideas. 4. Don't build railroads. 5. Make success, failure, and middling rolls interesting. Player advice: 1. Don't be a dick. 2. Build off each other, don't block each other. 3. You're supposed to be a badass. Act like it. Take risks. My poorly updated blog: http://engineeredfun.wordpress.com/
Bingo Bugsquat. He was originally played in a DarkSun campaign, in which the dwarves and halflings don't really match up with his character. so he's just a human midget thief. rather than actually taking a turn in combat, i would pass notes to the DM about my actions, because every turn Bingo would make a stealth check so he had a free pass to be forgotten about and make the DM laugh, confusing everyone. When we were supposed to save a DarkSun village from undead, he tried his best to talk everyone into just leaving the town. But the real heroes of the party (like Thorcus the Half-Orc fighter (who technically couldn't exist), and Asterox 7.7.6.9 the Minotaur Battlemind) gave wonderful speeches inspiring the village to fight back. Bingo then snuck off and found the most attractive woman he could and uhhh, used his high charisma score on her. After a spectacular event, Bingo was always telling everyone about some crazy story about something called a woolly mammoth, or ice, or some adventure he had with the goblin king. if anyone knows who pip the troll is from Adam Warlock comics, that was his inspiration.
i had a gospal singer in 3.0 a bard/cleric.
Visited taverns trying to make converts for his fate by singing the tales and doctrines of his god.



Oh dear gods. of all the crazy things that I have pulled out of my hat at times...


Starting with Batchit crazy is Locke keycarver:


A dwarf locksmith who had been born and raised a prisoner of the giants, they had him forging the very locks and keys used to enslave his bretheren. One day he had enough. He took two giant keys and sharpened them into axeblades (for the record they Looked exactly like Sora and mickeys keyblades). Dual wielding these weapons he lead his brothers to victory and freedom. While his brothers went on to make a new mountain home he matched across Cyril looking to save other dwarfs from the acursed giants.


To everyone else, Locke is a crazy ass dwarf who marches around ebberon spouting fantasy as the Kundarak have no records of him or his exploits. 


I made up his insanity due to our first encounter, I made his build high WIS and low STR because I wanted to emphasize the special effects if his hits landed, I could not roll above an 8 for ten consecutive rounds of dual weapon attacks. 16 misses! Thankfully the minions were no better, thei4 15's and less could not beat his AC so we were cearly evenly matched and these foul warriors were in truth masterful assassins sent by the giant lords to stop him from his quest. Only his overwhelming skill with his axes could keep the truely cunning opponents on him while the rest of the party handled the 'obvious' threat of the leaders to the enemies. 


Where he saw himself bravely leaping overboard an airship with one hand on the rope swinging about in great arks to knock the approaching skypirates off their gliderboards and into the city of towers below, everyone else saw the dwarf fall over the railing with his boot hooked to the anchor and flailing about.



Lets see,


I've had a dragonborn paladin of tiamat who used a barely modified ferengi Laws of Acquisition for his holy scripture. He would lay on hands at a modest 1:1 HP to GP ratio, HP to PP if they were bloodied. Feel free to request the laws from me if you like for your games, only 5SP transaction fee ^_^



When they First came out in the 1-3 level preview. I made a warforged warden who was a warden of a prison. It was a beast of high CON and had all ice powers, using the prison system as an inverted pyramid iceberg floating in the ocean, the lower in levels the more dangerous the criminals the colder it got.


COunter to this I had a wargored warlock who was very mechanical in description. Each fire attack was some part of his anatomy converinting into a fire propellant of some kind. (1st level was just fire from the fingertips, 3rd level was oil from the fingertips and a jet of flame from the palm, 5th level was the hand retracting in to the arm and firing a flame cannon from the wrist, ect) for the infernal grasp, his arm shot out on a 10 foot chain, then the wrist fired off the arm in a 10 foot chain, finaly the fingers fired off the hand in 10 foot chains to grab someone and pull them around. One of his memorable things that haunts my players to this day is when he would choose an opponent he would always say "DESIGNATE" then foul them up.


I had a teifling made from a simple thought exercise on how many things I could stack for the most fire resistance. it was racial+background+feat+familiar all stacked to I think 10 fire resistance at  4th level without magic items. His name was Snough Bhaal. 

Weirdest I've imagined (while still wanting to play) was Momma Blitzer. Longtooth shifter* Sentinel|Ranger w/ Pack Outcast theme. Wolf Companion, Hybrid Talent Beast Mastery Wolf Pet, MC Shaman with a spirit wolf companion.  She was exiled for loving an actual wolf too much, and cares more for her pups than for other people. But, among those who treat her and her kind as equals, she is a loyal friend and protector.  *

*With the arrival of the Hengeyokai, I might change the race to match*


Weirdest I've actually played, was Kieper. Shardmind Star-pact Hexblade w/ spellscar. He was once a warlock with an ambition to force his way into immortality, but he was annihilated by his attempt.  His soul was encased in crystal and cast adrift in the astral sea. Following the Spellplague, he was dragged back to Toril as a creature of living crystal.  Driven by the singular purpose of acquiring the power to restore himself to true life and immortality, he will cut down any who cross his path.  He was a treacherous but logically minded warrior, and teamed up with a vicious Tiefling body guard to stalk their way into every temple and place of power they could find. I voiced him as David Warner with a nasty attitude. 
I wouldn't call them wierd, so much as quirky, but here goes...

In 2nd edition, I had a Halfling Fighter named Spaz'nin XII.  He had a fuse shorter than him, and any mention of his size resulted in throwing daggers being tossed.

3.5 saw Moshi, an uber-chauvanistic Fox Hengeyokai Dread Necromancer...who'd been cursed with a Girdle of Femininity.

My newest character is Jett, a Firesoul Genasi Swordmage.  Whereas the baseline for Firesoul personalities is a roaring bonfire, Jett is a lazy fireplace by a comfy chair.  He loves the nice things in life, only bothering to step out for adventures when he runs out of gold for wine, food and nice inns.