Batterskull pot stirred

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Flavor Fail: Batterskull

I assume most of you have read this already, but to those who haven't.....thoughts?

The card would make perfect sense if you changed the art and name to something that wasn't a battering ram. I don't know exactly what, because it's a weird combination of abilities, but I think they could have come up with something more convincing than a battering ram.
Eh. They dropped the ball on this flavor. It's happened before, it'll happen again. Creative isn't perfect.* The only thing that makes this particularly notable is the fact that it's a Mythic, which are supposed to be, you know, flashy and awesome or whatever. So, it's somewhat unfortunate that something so high-profile falls so flat.

I think the Living Weapon cards, on the whole, are interesting and innovative enough that they make up for this one.



*I mean, I know this is a huge revelation to everyone here, but I felt it had to be said.
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*I mean, I know this is a huge revelation to everyone here, but I felt it had to be said.



WHAT? THE MAGIC CREATIVE TEAM IS NOT INFALLIBLE? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?! HOW CAN THIS BE?! MY MIND! AAAUUUGGGHHhhhhkkkgg...

Well butter my biscuit. I done gone mad from the revelation.
Lawls w00t! It's clobbering time, but not your normal clobbering from a battering ram!

It's a giant centipede/millipede hybrid being controlled by a germ token, or whatever phyrexian minion takes the wheel! This thing has the power and toughness you need to storm ahead and knock things senseless! It's a living weapon, and what is better than having one head? Two heads! Yes, that's right boys and girls, this thing has a pilot and co-pilot, and two heads are better than one! Vigilant even!

What's this? Lifelink? A Phyrexian creature that bashes you in the gonads so hard your lifeforce gets sucked out of you like a straw? Yes! This Batterskull is hungry for your blood! Knocks you senseless and steals your life much like a mugger steals candy from a baby.

This thing is so loaded with mutlifunctionality! If the sexipede gets in trouble, it can burrow into the ground and go back home to Phyrexia's Core!

On sale now! Get it at a real steal! $129.99 $79.99!

Call 1-800-LOL-NOOB now, and you'll get a free can of flavor!


*I mean, I know this is a huge revelation to everyone here, but I felt it had to be said.



WHAT? THE MAGIC CREATIVE TEAM IS NOT INFALLIBLE? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?! HOW CAN THIS BE?! MY MIND! AAAUUUGGGHHhhhhkkkgg...

Well butter my biscuit. I done gone mad from the revelation.

Now you know how I feel ALL THE TIME.



So, I think it's pretty obvious that "battering ram" doesn't make a whole lot of sense conceptually for this creature. But rather than just rant about the fact that this, you know, doesn't make a whole lot of sense...

What concept for this 1. Fits the abilities presented while 2. keeping with the Living Weapon theme of having actual skittering body parts grafted onto your creatures? (Which, incidentally, was another thing I was disappointed with... the others had such a creepy body part aesthetic that this one kind of dropped.)

Oh, and for added challenge, make it feel Mythic.



Right now I'm leaning towards something like a fullskeletal system transplant... that seems like a properly horrific conclusion to the development of the Living Weapons from minor body parts all the way up to near-human organisms that can simply be shrugged into like some warm, meaty armor. I'm not sure what to call it, though, and both the Lifelink and the bounce ability don't quite feel right.

I mean, they fit better than a @(#*$ battering ram, but I'm not quite satisfied.

It might work if we could clearly show the suit regenerating the germ token after being taken off...

Or perhaps the suit forcibly adhering to a Mirran?

...Now I'm creeping myself out.
Coming Soon to the Magic: Expanded Multiverse: FRAGMENTS: A Shards of Alara Anthology
(Click through to view the cover and announcement page)Want to get your work in the Expanded Multiverse? Come join the project! Oh, and check out my blog, Storming the Ivory Tower: making sense of academia, media, and culture twice weekly.
I was thinking something along the lines of Angelhusk, with the art showing armor sort of made of various parts of an angel with wings replaced by metal legs. The abilities Batterskull grants are like those of a flightless angel, so to my mind it makes sense as something that's built out of one.
Kind of an Elesh Norn-esque take on Copper Carapace right?
I was thinking of some kind of huge, horrible, mecha-slime thing. The lifelink gets represented by a bunch of syringe-like tentacles, the power/toughness boost comes from the sheer mass of the thing, vigilance from its multiple eyes and/or sensors, and its retreating ability from its amorphous, flowing construction. It takes on a new equip-target by enveloping the creature that wants to make use of it, and the user controls the thing from its center.

But I like the angel idea, too. It fits the perversion-of-religion theme of the white Phyrexians.
In my Fanon New Phyrexia, Batterskull is the recycled product of the corpse of Azag-Axog, Demon Thane, after he fell in battle when Urabrask unleashed Kuldotha, Ultimate Living Weapon against him.

I shall assume Azag-Axog was huge in size, so Urabrask pretty much had to carve his new Living Weapon from his bones. 
They probaly killed the original card and slapped the art onto this one. It happens.

Yep, sometimes flavor doesn't triumph. But still, New Phyrexia is a very flavorful set (As long as you don't look at continuity)
… and then, the squirrels came.
And you call yourselves Vorthosi...

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We fought against a new enemy; one stronger and possibly more dangerous than any we've come across before. It thunders across our lands, unstoppable; and we are completely unable to take it by surprise. It is possibly capable of feeling the vibrations we make in the ground, but we do not know. All our attempts at fighting it have ended in retreat, and we have watched the macabre spectacle as it consumes our fallen and forces their flesh into its wounds. We have even witnessed it grow as it consumes them, undoubtedly to take back to its hellish commanders. Then, we thought we found its weakness. The small humanoid skull that protrudes from its back controls the thing, for when we destroyed it, the thing fell motionless. For moments, we rejoiced that we found a way to kill it. But, our celebration was short-lived; as before long the thing melted and shattered apart of its own volition, its parts oozing away at incredible speeds. Although we could win a few battles, it would always retreat in this way. To add insult to injury, we would find their oozing mass re-forming into the monster we had destroyed, using our fallen to replace its controlling head.
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KeeperofManyNames wrote:

Alright, new theory: these forums are an experiment in ultraminimalism. By Monday everything--yes everything--will be the color white, and typing any character will simply produce a solid rectangle of variable height and width.

I was thinking something along the lines of Angelhusk, with the art showing armor sort of made of various parts of an angel with wings replaced by metal legs. The abilities Batterskull grants are like those of a flightless angel, so to my mind it makes sense as something that's built out of one.

I like this idea a lot better than the original flavor.

Come join me at No Goblins Allowed


Because frankly, being here depresses me these days.

Personally, I think it makes moderate sense...

Really, I think people are looking into the name a bit too much...it's called Batterskull, and it batters the enemies by charging forth into the fray. Being a living weapon, it can quickly scurry back towards the lines to ensuring that it can then defend any sort of retaliation. It's basically a giant centipede with an exceedingly durable head coupled with, I assume, great speeds...which then makes both these things make sense.

Now, the Lifelink and ability to return to your hand upon death are a bit puzzling...but perhaps it's a construct of countless smaller insectoid-like fabricants that, upon striking an enemy, gnaw at the flesh and return such to the caster. This would then also explain how it returns to your hand upon death...all the enemy can accomplish is the destruction of the host, whilst the swarm skitters off to reconstruct at a later time upon the will of their caster.
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