1001 reasons to make a bad choice

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this is a 1001 list to make sub optamal combat choices based on charicter quarks


1.allergies
     2. The Stormwind Fallacy
          Your character wields something ineffective or even absurd due to the mistaken belief that failing to perform as best zie could somehow makes zie a better or more interesting person.
(I employ zie/zie/zir as a gender-neutral counterpart to he/him/his. Just a heads-up.) Essentials definitely isn't for me as a player, and I feel that its design and implementation bear serious flaws which fill me with concern for the future of D&D, but I've come to the conclusion that it isn't going to destroy the game that I want to play. Indeed, I think that I could probably run a game for players using Essentials characters without it being much of a problem at all. Time will tell, I suppose.
3. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
4. Because I did what I had to do.
5. I feel no qualms sacrificing my cohorts, minons, and fellow PCs because we have reserves.
6. Because it's so shiny!
7. It's the only way.
     7b. Not only that, we reached the point where there is simply no other appropriate response.
8. Because it's funny.
9. Because it's cool.
10. I had only the best intentions.  Honest!
11. Either way, this problem needs fixin', and all I have is this hammer.
12. This suboptimal choice is but one of many parts of my master plan.
13. Because it would tarnish my sterling reputation.
14. For love.
15. Because that's just who I am.
16. Choo-choo!
Thinking about creating a race for 4e? Make things a lil' easier on yourself by reading my Race Mechanic Creation Guide first.



     You know how there used to be a 'You are now leaving Wizards.com' splash screen when one clicked an outside link?  They really need to bring that back, if only one that says 'Warning!  You have clicked a TVtropes link!  If you value your sanity, your life, and the span of time between now and your passing out due to exhaustion, do not continue!'  I further move that linking to TVtropes be criminalized as a form of electronic assault, and that the site itself be classified as a schedule one narcotic.
(I employ zie/zie/zir as a gender-neutral counterpart to he/him/his. Just a heads-up.) Essentials definitely isn't for me as a player, and I feel that its design and implementation bear serious flaws which fill me with concern for the future of D&D, but I've come to the conclusion that it isn't going to destroy the game that I want to play. Indeed, I think that I could probably run a game for players using Essentials characters without it being much of a problem at all. Time will tell, I suppose.
So what if they're undead? I'm Darkity McDarkmagic and I only use necrotic damage.
17. Not using encounter powers because a new enemy might pop up out of nowhere in a soon to end encounter.
18. Not using daily powers because 'its just a game, how out of hand can fights really get?' when up against orcus.
19. The sorceror really wanted to go first down a narrow hallway.
20. Character choosing to sacrifice himself by grappling a creature in a room with the walls closing in (bad choice because creature turns around crits the paladins head off and flies out of the closing room to face a group that now lacks their tank).
21. Because you can distinguish between Player knowledge and Character knowledge.

Better to fight windmills than become a miller!

22. Because I'm not taking the Life Singer paragon path no matter what anyone else says.
L7 Drow Telekinetic Psion "Coward, perhaps. Thief, likely. Liar, absolutely. But a traitor, I am not."
23. Because although my character is a drow, he's terrified of spiders. (Yes, in a real game I took my melee-oriented drow Paladin off the front line because of giant spiders. Other players had a fit, but the DM loved it.)

 24. My character has abandonment issues - she wouldn't throw her +3 flaming handaxe at the ice devil because she's terrified it wouldn't come back to her...

Show

I am the Magic Man.

(Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.)

 

I am the Lawnmower Man.

(I AM GOD HERE!)

 

I am the Skull God.

(Koo Koo Ka Choo)

 

There are reasons they call me Mad...

So what if they're undead? I'm Darkity McDarkmagic and I only use necrotic damage.


Hey, that's Mr. Jim Darkmagic to you, pal.

25. Because the difference between a typical fantasy quest and a twisted romance plot is a single letter in the request to "slay the dragon".




     You know how there used to be a 'You are now leaving Wizards.com' splash screen when one clicked an outside link?  They really need to bring that back, if only one that says 'Warning!  You have clicked a TVtropes link!  If you value your sanity, your life, and the span of time between now and your passing out due to exhaustion, do not continue!'  I further move that linking to TVtropes be criminalized as a form of electronic assault, and that the site itself be classified as a schedule one narcotic.


You're right.  There's no excuse for my blantant overuse of tvtropes links.  Though I'm a firm believer that tropes will improve your life, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't doing it partially...

26.  For the evulzBwahahahaha!

[Caution.  This posts contains links to TvTropes.  You have been warned.]
Thinking about creating a race for 4e? Make things a lil' easier on yourself by reading my Race Mechanic Creation Guide first.
26. Throw the DM a plot hook and make a beatsmaster ranger that starts without a companion.

27. "What? My character has Alzheimer's."
Leaders are fifth wheels - the steering one.
28. because this frost sword coast me a lot of money and i would hate to melt it on that fire elemental
29. Me and the missus are trying to get pregnant, so I'll wait in this little hole.
30. It's my birthday today, not my funeral.
31. This awesome merchant sold me these invisible clothes!
32. I heard I could use healing surges in extended naps!
33. Nobody asked me nicely to fight.
34. Because I really want to see what this potion does.
35. Because I really want to see what this lever does.
36. I heard bullseyes are are in now.
37. That armor really doesn't go with this helmet.
38. If swords and other weapons are a reflection of my manhood I think this dagger/quarterstaff/flail suits me better.
39. I took an oath of silence.
40. But he just looks so adorable!
The numbering got screwed up a bit.  This one is actually number...

42. Because fire is like duct tape.  It can solve all problems.  If it doesn't solve all problems, you just aren't using enough.

43.  Okay, so we all agree one sword is cool, right?  And two swords are even cooler, yes?  So dual-wielding two double swords would be like wielding four swords at the same time.  See where I'm going with this?
Thinking about creating a race for 4e? Make things a lil' easier on yourself by reading my Race Mechanic Creation Guide first.
44. Because I was bored

45. Ravel8's boredom was infectious.
46. I really suck at decisionmaking.
47. Chose my attack power based on eenie meenie miny moe.
48. because my characters intelligence is too low.
49. because I actually rolled a 3.5th character and was 'winging it'.
50. my allies looked more threatening than the enemy.
50. my allies looked more threatening than the enemy.




haha
51.  Because I just don't like spiked chains.

26.  It could be worse.  I could have Alzheimer's.
"When Friday comes, we'll all call rats fish." D&D Outsider
52.  Oops. 

53. I actually want my fighter to be able to participate in skill challenges.
54. CharOp optimizes characters, not fun.
55. My DM rolls on random treasure tables.
56. Because there have to be some warforged wizards out there, so why shouldn’t my character be one?
57. Because I would rather play the game then spend my time constructing elaborate builds.
58. It just doesn’t make sense to have a character with a Eberron dragonmark and a Forgotten Realms background in a homebrew setting.
59. I’m pissed at another player for something outside of game and I’m really passive-aggressive.
60. This duck the perfect beast companion for my ranger.  It is the perfect compliment to my character’s personality.

Rule one isn’t “The DM is always right.” Rule one is: Everyone should be having fun at the table. Plans for 5e: Kill the d20, and replace it with a bell curve for task resolution.
61.  Nobody else in the group knows how or cares to optimize, so if I do it the DM's going to have problems balancing encounters and challenges.  I should consider the need to make a few suboptimal choices as an opportunity to play an oddball character build, or at least choose style over substance when the two are in conflict.
"When Friday comes, we'll all call rats fish." D&D Outsider
62. I managed to Bluff the drug dealers into giving me their stash. I'm keeping it for myself. No, officer, I'm not giving it up!

63. Because I really need to pee and the DM's running this in Initiative order, so I'll pick anything for the chance to go to the bathroom.

64. Because I think the hydra might prefer to be serenaded.

65. I wanted to see if the vampire would sparkle (and kill my DM if he did).

66. DANCE CONTEST!!!

67. I need to have both hands free to do jazz hands properly. 

The original core books said that this was our game too. It doesn't feel like that anymore.

68. Because heroes make mistakes, too.
69. Sometimes, the plot requires me to be unconscious for a while.
70. I totally misread what that power does... 

71. “He’s not really summoning Orcus, right?  I can spend my standard to fry a minion instead of stopping the ritual.”  (This happened last night.  Fourth level party ends up in front of the demon king of the undead because people couldn’t be bothered to participate in skill challenges.)

Rule one isn’t “The DM is always right.” Rule one is: Everyone should be having fun at the table. Plans for 5e: Kill the d20, and replace it with a bell curve for task resolution.
72. Weapons are a sign of weakness man, real men use there fist
73. Yes that Thurrani Shadow killer PP looks awesome, but I'm Pharlain.
74 Platemail restricts my movement to much I rather go Unarmored.
72. Weapons are a sign of weakness man, real men use there fist.


Brawler fighters make this anything but a bad choice. Just Sayin'





75) He's a dwarf!
Shaman: "Why doesn't the squirrel shoot the wizard?" DM: "Because the last squirrel who tried to shoot the wizard missed, then was pulled out of his tree and incinerated." Wizard: "He has a point."
72. Weapons are a sign of weakness man, real men use there fist.



Brawler fighters make this anything but a bad choice. Just Sayin'








Um brawler Fighter still use a weapon they just go without a second or shield I'm refering to go completely unarmed. While being a monk will mitigate most of the disadvantage, ie Ki focus and profiency with unarmed attacks its still considered sub par to a varity of builds that use weapons.

76: I want to play an Intellegent Barbarian
77. Becuase Inescapable Force is way too cool a feat to pass up... even though we will probably never fight insubstantial enemies in the campaign... ever.
L7 Drow Telekinetic Psion "Coward, perhaps. Thief, likely. Liar, absolutely. But a traitor, I am not."
78. Because my character has a lifelong dream of becoming a country and western singer.
79. Because it's in the fine print of my fey pact.
80. Because I'm a gnome and it seemed funny at the time.
81. Because I'm a gnome.
82. Moo.
83. Because it has a cool sounding name.
84. Because playing as a warforged bard who dreams of joining the circus was way too fun to not do.
85. Because how was I supposed to know what a gazebo is?
86. Because my character is convinced that his sword is possessed by the devil and refuses to touch it.
87. Because my character left his lucky underwear at home today.
88. Because his intelegence is 3.  I'm just playing my character.
89. Because my character is hung over from last night.
90. Because the bar maid said it was the strongest drink they had and he didn't want her to think he was a whimp.
91. Because they are asking for it
92. Because the dm description of the npc is too hideous, i couldn't help myself
93. Because Ungrak the barbarian don't know the meaning of stealth.
94. Because spending an action point to pull down pants and piss on the prone BBEG is too fun NOT to do.
95. Because.
96. No, really, just Because.
97. Because I placed a bet with the rogue on how many times the lich's head would bounce.
98. Because Druids are against my religion.
99. Because what happens in Sigil, stays in Sigil. I hope.
100. Because there's ALWAYS a Gelatinous Cube somewhere.
A Beginners Primer to CharOp. Archmage's Ascension - The Wizard's Handbook. Let the Hammer Fall: Dwarf Warpriest/Tactical Warpriest/Indomitable Champion, a Defending Leader. Requiem for Dissent: Cleric/Fighter/Paragon of Victory Melee Leader Ko te manu e kai i te miro, nona te ngahere. Ko te manu e kai i te matauranga e, nano te ao katoa. It's the proliferation of people who think the rules are more important than what the rules are meant to accomplish. - Dedekine

 101. Because, as a Lawful Good character, my paladin realizes that the BBEG's minions are being horribly mistreated, and wants to begin a dialogue with them to convince them they should establish a Union in order to fight for their right to better pay and freedom from being casually disembowelled every time the BBEG gets frustrated by the PCs...

Show

I am the Magic Man.

(Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.)

 

I am the Lawnmower Man.

(I AM GOD HERE!)

 

I am the Skull God.

(Koo Koo Ka Choo)

 

There are reasons they call me Mad...

102) Because my dump stat is Wisdom!
103) Because I'm a Gnoll!
104) Because I'm a warlock!
105) Because I'm a female gnoll warlock who dumped Wisdom!


Used all of the above during Undermountain.
Shaman: "Why doesn't the squirrel shoot the wizard?" DM: "Because the last squirrel who tried to shoot the wizard missed, then was pulled out of his tree and incinerated." Wizard: "He has a point."
106) Because my character couldn't look himself in the mirror if he didn't make the bad choice to save lives.
107) Because I'm a battlemind! Nothing can hurt me!
108) Because the min-maxer in our group made our characters and I'm 99% sure we'll survive, whatever it is.
109) Because if I don't do it, the party's shaman is going to do it. Do you want a bad decision, or a fatal decision?
[Yes, that Thurrani Shadow killer PP looks awesome, but I'm Pharlain.]

So what? You could have a Thurrani BFF who taught you some tricks... ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE WITH THE DM'S APPROVAL!

110) What, I asked the DM! He said no, but I did ask.
You have about as much charm as a dead slug. - Haymitch You don't make footprints in the sands of time by sitting on your butt. And who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of time? I'm an eladrin feylock Special from Disrict 4 who goes to Hogwarts during the school year, Camp Half-Blood in the summer, and takes lightsaber classes on the side. Are you jealous yet?
Sorry, I had some trouble with the formatting.
You have about as much charm as a dead slug. - Haymitch You don't make footprints in the sands of time by sitting on your butt. And who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of time? I'm an eladrin feylock Special from Disrict 4 who goes to Hogwarts during the school year, Camp Half-Blood in the summer, and takes lightsaber classes on the side. Are you jealous yet?