Bad-ass things to say before killing people

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I'm going to be playing a dusk elf pursuit avenger / serene initiate. She is something of a Jedi in that she remains calm and at peace even as she is doing what must be done. She does not give in to anger or fear or hatred. Her dusk elf heritage also lends itself to her being reserved and detached. In addition, her patron deities are Corellon and Sehanine. So, in coming up with some quotes and oaths for her, I wanted stuff that a) sounded cold and emotionless and b) that had something to do with creating art and beauty out of death and destruction. (I also thought that having her not use contractions might add to the effect.)

The quote for the Serene Initiate PP says it all really: "Only when the mind is calm and the passions stilled can the divine purpose be understood. Never do I wield my sword in anger­—only in necessity."


Here's what else I've got:

"The world is beautiful. You are not."

"Corellon's tears never reached you."


"Rest assured: your death shall be a work of art."

"Watch carefully and you just might see something beautiful before you die."

"This sword is my paintbrush and you are my canvas."

"I am not afraid to die. Are you?"

"There is no justice. There is only me."

"In this life, you can be certain of only two things: death and taxes. Which do you suppose I have come to collect from you today?"

"I take no pleasure in killing you. It is merely something I must do."

"This is a good death. There is no shame in this. It is beautiful—a work of art."

"Your measure has been taken and you have been found wanting."

"This wound … it is a physical thing and will fade with time. It was necessary … some things may only be learned from sacrifice."

"We have both of us stared into the bleak abyss, and when it stared back at us, one of us blinked. You have to ask yourself: was it you who blinked or was it me?"

"I do not kill because I enjoy killing. I kill because it is required of me."

"I have seen your heart, and I know how empty it is. I have seen your anger, and I know how deep it is. I have seen your ambition, and I know how ruthless it is. And all of that will ultimately destroy you ..."

''There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the divine."

"And shepherds we shall be, for thee, my liege, for thee. Power hath descended forth from thy hand, that our feet may swiftly carry out thy command. So we shall flow a river forth to thee and teeming with souls shall it ever be."

"The Curse of Knowledge: When you know something, it's difficult to imagine what it's like not to know it."

~ Steven Pinker

 

D&D 5e Session Recaps:

Welcome to Icewind Dale (Legacy of the Crystal Shard)

DMing for My Wife (and Our Friends) (Lost Mine of Phandelver)

 

@pukunui:

That character seems distinctly like the elves from MtG's Lorwyn, with the emphasis on the world's beauty and such. I like it.

"I am not a hot-blooded warrior, blindly slaying all in my path. My friend, however..." - Warlord
Leaders are fifth wheels - the steering one.
@pukunui:

That character seems distinctly like the elves from MtG's Lorwyn, with the emphasis on the world's beauty and such. I like it.

I'm not familiar with MtG but thank you.
"The Curse of Knowledge: When you know something, it's difficult to imagine what it's like not to know it."

~ Steven Pinker

 

D&D 5e Session Recaps:

Welcome to Icewind Dale (Legacy of the Crystal Shard)

DMing for My Wife (and Our Friends) (Lost Mine of Phandelver)

 

From my warforged Battlemind:

You are compost waiting to happen.

You have suffered a catastrophic system failure.
Well, I randomly though of my own Warforged one (it also works for other uber-dedicated soldiers and such.)

"I was built to fight. I was not built to die."

"You were."
Leaders are fifth wheels - the steering one.
While your life wrought nothing but fear and despair...there is beauty in your death.
Don't believe everything you think Ranger.jpg
For a high-DPR striker or multi-attacker: "Don't blink."

"Everybody dies, and I'm going to make you watch."

When hitting with a daily, especially one that deals ongoing damage: "Suffer." 

The original core books said that this was our game too. It doesn't feel like that anymore.

"One step further and you're geography"

 
Whatch boondock saints I and II those movies are full of em. real good one liners to.
"This is my Dragonborn Fighter. There are many like it, but this one is mine."

Show
"My Dragonborn Fighter is my best friend. It is my life. I have mastered it as I have mastered my life. My Dragonborn Fighter, without me, is bloodied. Without my Dragonborn Fighter, I am bloodied. I will command my Dragonborn Fighter true. It will swing harder than my enemy who is trying to kill us. We will kill him before he kills us. We will...

My Dragonborn Fighter and myself know that what counts in this war is not the arrows we fire, the clash of our steel, nor the smoking rumble we make. We know that it is the hits that count. We will hit...

My
Dragonborn Fighter is gnomish, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its racial features, its class features and its breath weapon. I will ever guard it against the ravages of weather and damage as I will ever guard my legs, my arms, my eyes and my heart against damage. I will keep my Dragonborn Fighter buffed clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will...

Before Dol Dorn, I swear this creed. My Dragonborn Fighter and myself are the defenders of my country. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my life. So be it, until victory is Breland's and there is no enemy, but peace!"


-The Warlord's Creed
Thinking about creating a race for 4e? Make things a lil' easier on yourself by reading my Race Mechanic Creation Guide first.
Vampire (about to die by a human's hand) - No...but your just cattle

Harry Dresdan, Wizard - Moo

I was playing a Shader Kai brawler who had just been knocked unconsious by a dragon, at the brink of death my shaman rezzes me to full and my palli make us all get up.  I stand up and say something along the lines of this.

"The name of the god of death is long forgotten, but she is called the Raven Queen. She is the spinner of fate and the patron of winter. She marks the end of each mortal life, she has marked yours, and she has sent me.  I am the weapon at her command, I am the sword that will strike you down.  I am Kalareese (my name lol) and I am the last thing you will ever see."

It was kewl at the moment...seems cheesy now lol
Exterminate! EXTERMINATE!

Delete. Delete. Delete.



Dalek and the new Cybermen from Doctor Who!!  Brilliant!!
You pretty much can't go wrong with Doctor Who.  I've just been waiting for the day when I can use Matt Smith's trap quote, because we quote doctor who ALL THE TIME at my table.
Going out of your way to break the game and then complaining that it is broken is like beating a wall with a sledge hammer for an hour and then claiming its a bad wall.

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D&D Home Page - What Monster Are You? - D&D Compendium

You pretty much can't go wrong with Doctor Who.  I've just been waiting for the day when I can use Matt Smith's trap quote, because we quote doctor who ALL THE TIME at my table.


Recite please?
You pretty much can't go wrong with Doctor Who.  I've just been waiting for the day when I can use Matt Smith's trap quote, because we quote doctor who ALL THE TIME at my table.


Recite please?




The Doctor: Oh, big, big mistake. Really huge. Didn't anyone ever tell you? There's one thing you never put in a trap. If you're smart, if you value your continued existence, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there is one thing you never, ever put in a trap. 
Bob: And what would that be, sir? 
The Doctor: Me.
thanks Whitt, now I don't have to type it out!
Going out of your way to break the game and then complaining that it is broken is like beating a wall with a sledge hammer for an hour and then claiming its a bad wall.

13.jpg
D&D Home Page - What Monster Are You? - D&D Compendium

"FUUUNNNNNNNNNRRRRRRRRAAAAAABBBBAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

"Oh I´m so sorry I forgot to go easy on you."

"Your story ends here."

"I will share with you, my darkness."

"Let me show you, true fear."

"Tell me your name, so that I can carve it on your tomb."

" You really should value your life more."

"Over already?"

"I´ll show you what true power is."

"Rain of blood shall rain down today."

"Hell awaits peon."

"Well if your offering me your lives I´ll just have to take them."

"Escuse people but it´s time for my daily massacre."

for marcial monks - "FALCON PUNCH!!!" hahaha classic

after killing the first one in case there´s a group of them - "Oh I´m sorry it´s just to hard to step on an ant without squashing it."

"I feel so generous today that I´ll let you have the first strike. Go head, go for my arms, legs heck you can even kill me with this strike."

"Some just can´t wait to die."

"huh??? I´m sorry were you talking to me?"

"You know there´s 0.0000000000000000000000000657% chance that a look can kill, so you shouldn´t get upset when someone tries to kill you for staring at them."

or simply go with the classics like:

"Say hello to my little friend." or  "Do you feel lucky......PUnnnnk???" 

"You underestemate  the Dark Side of the Force."

in/on a boat - "Go sleep with the fishes." 
"May the darkness smother your spirit....and the blood curdle in your very bones"

Necrotic attack

"Hello, Puddin' "

"I'm sorry, were you about to say something?"
Yeah. I did just kill your BBEG with a vorpal frisbee. Problem?
"Will you shut up for a moment?" STAB "We were TRYING to discuss what to do with your loot."
A Beginners Primer to CharOp. Archmage's Ascension - The Wizard's Handbook. Let the Hammer Fall: Dwarf Warpriest/Tactical Warpriest/Indomitable Champion, a Defending Leader. Requiem for Dissent: Cleric/Fighter/Paragon of Victory Melee Leader Ko te manu e kai i te miro, nona te ngahere. Ko te manu e kai i te matauranga e, nano te ao katoa. It's the proliferation of people who think the rules are more important than what the rules are meant to accomplish. - Dedekine
I had an assassin try to taunt me in my last battle.  So I responded with "If you think making me angry will make me fight any less effectively, you're dead wrong".  Turns out, I killed him on a crit the next turn. 
Mender, Warforged Artificer says...

Bite my shiny mithral a$$

Do you prefer the quick death of the coward, or the long, slow torture of a brave man?

I've killed a lot of people. Don't take it personally.

There are a million ways to kill a man. This is number 362

Everyone needs a hobby. Let me guess... yours is failure?

Gentlemen, this meeting is adjourned

I win. You die. Do you need any more lessons on inevitability?
Here are some Pre Mortem One Liners from my own characters:

"When you see [name of previously killed enemy] in Hell, tell him/her [your character] sent you!"

"When you get to hell, I want you to tell the devil(s) exactly how you died. Because it's not going to be pretty."
My party once had an argument about how to split up the loot of the enemies we were fighting while we were fighting them. The rogue and I were arguing over who would get the belt of the guy we were flanking. He decides to bet me for it by seeing who can kill the guy first:

Rogue: "Let's be fair about this."
Me: "What did you have in mind?"
Rogue: "Whoever kills him first gets the belt."
Me: "Deal."

Right then it was my turn, I rolled a crit, and decapitated him.
The line between actually very serious and actually very funny is actually very thin.
"Demanded by... and delivered to!"

"you guys get the one on the right, i'll get everyone else"

"When you die i'll piss on your grave so it might grow some weeds"

"THIS... IS.... (whatever the hell your point is)!!!" ( this is sparta variant)

"I don't wanna kill you there's no fun in it. But until we get there, that is where the true fun lies"

"MIGHTY GODS OF THE HEAVENS! Go screw yourselves! I'll do it my way"

"Push me. Shove you"
Well, if he's fighting other fighters, he could always say; "I don't have time for ametuers." Don't know how well I spelled that but whatever.

Personally I'm quite fond of the following three;
"There is no spoon, only a knife."
"All your base are dead."
"Allow me to teach you how to use a blade the proper way..."

I'm still looking for a good one for my charecter :P
IMAGE(http://dragcave.net/image/EEVh.gif) Please click on the egg! You wouldn't want the poor soul to ~DIE~, would you? IMAGE(http://incubators.dragcave.net/incubator_MageMasterFai.png)

Right after getting hit with a fire attack:


"Just letting you know... IF WE BURN, YOU BURN WITH US!!!"


(Yes I have Hunger Games on the brain ;)

You have about as much charm as a dead slug. - Haymitch You don't make footprints in the sands of time by sitting on your butt. And who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of time? I'm an eladrin feylock Special from Disrict 4 who goes to Hogwarts during the school year, Camp Half-Blood in the summer, and takes lightsaber classes on the side. Are you jealous yet?
"Are you ready? The pain will only last an instant!"
"Blame your fate"
"I'll show you divine justice!"
"Night time's over! This is the final strike!"
"Darkness devouered, Ain Soph Aur!"
"This... is the end."
"Darkness, death, and oblivion!"

and if you snuck up on them... "ninja'd"
To me, alot of the fun of combat repartee is coming up with stuff on the spot, taking into account who you're killing and why. Sure, sometimes you'll say dumb stuff, but other times you'll come up with really witty appropriate comments that your friends will talk about forever.

I don't know what movie this is from, but I think it's maybe Blackhawk Down? I don't know I haven't seen the clip, only heard about it:
Rogue kills with backstab: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
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To the pain speech from Princess Bride
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"When you get to the Nine Hells- tell Asmodeus I said hi."
-
When you kill an evil overlord type villain: "Sic Semper Tyrannis!"
(Thus always to Tyrants)
-
"I have a message for your master!"
-
"In Pacem Requisat"
(Rest in Peace)
-
"If you haunt me in death I will only kill you again."
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Quoth the Raven: Nevermore!
-
I will still your beating heart.

Edit- last two.
I agree with Thangor.  It's really amusing to remember things you've said while killing people, but I'm not a fan of having standard things ready to say.  It takes away from the role-playing element to me.  And my players tend to be too busy explaining their actions to have really cool lines ready.


________________________________________________________________________
Always looking forstructural foam and cigarettes...
I think I've found the best facebook statuses
My berzerker barbarian:

-RAaarrwgh HAHAHAHA
-RHWAAAAAAAAAAGH PFFFHT GHAAAAAAAAAAA
-RHWAMWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHA*COUGH*


Borrowed from issue 3 of the D & D comic but still...

"GRUHN KILL!"


Its become the catchphrase/battle cry of my half orc slayer bravo.

*EDIT*

I some how neglected my time honored "Its time to pay the rent, boys and girls."
Dont know if this one is one here didnt want to go thru all the pages got half wat and said ill post


I shall smite the with my mighty blade
Any divine class
"Aaaaaaaamen!" in the loudest, most lunatic tone possible.
"I'm sorry, is this your back my knife's in?"
"Don't worry, you might survive to see your friends die."
"Fatality!"
"At least I don't climb trees for a living!"
 I assume that 'rue' means kill your master? Then yes, I will." 
"And After this. There will be cake."
-
"And you thought you were important."
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"FOR PONY!"
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"Room Service."
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"They were lying. There is no light."
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"Die knowing you've failed - and your betters stood over your broken corpse."
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"And I thought they said you were tough."
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"May the absolution of the Nine Hells purify your soul through the unending torment of unyielding flames. Amen."
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"Its times like these - that I'm glad I call dibs."
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"Don't worry. This won't hurt me at all."
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"I like to let people die with a joke."
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"Do me a favor. Die quietly."
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"Here be the juujuu..."
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"Ah... Materials for a new mask..."
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"Don't worry. I'll tell your mother you were a disappointment."
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"Shhh... I forgive you."
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"Huh. Is that my blood? No? I guess not. Here. Let me plug that hole for you."
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"And everything was going so well..."
Lines for a Paladin:
I shall spread the buttery justice of (Deity's name) over the toast of your iniquity.
The succulent jam of light shall sweeten the sourdough of your evil ways.
The creamer of light will dull the bitterness of your evil unholy coffee taste.
The spatula of purity shall scramble the eggs of your malfeasance.
Props if you know where these are from


 
some i was going to post myself had you not beaten me to it

not sure if it has been answered thus far as i haven't read the whole thread but it's from Gamers 2: Dorkness Rising
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